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ITT we share experiences where cops were...
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ITT we share experiences where cops were called on you by mistake

>be me three years ago
>be senior in high school
>hanging with pals
>see random sophomore or freshman with broken foot
>says how she would be perfect target to fuck because she can't run
>goes quiet
>friend, huge guy, let's call him willy, looks me dead in the eyes and says
>"that's my fucking sister you stupid cunt"
>willy grabs me by neck and slams me into locker
>gets black eye and busted lip, face is red and swelling up
>tells nurse I feel woozy
>goes home early
>walk in home, parents at work
>checks face, all swollen up, looks like a potato baby got dropped
>goes to make some food
>sees neighbor (old lady holly) through glass door
>old lady Holly freaks out
>I walk away from glass door enjoying my toast
>five minutes later hear sirens
>curiosity over 9000
>goes to window
>puts toast in mouth
>opens curtains
>fuckfuckwhat.jpg
>sees a cop car
>portly pig cop with a skinny beaner cop aiming guns
Continue?
>>
>>682855142
interested
>>
>>682855763
>drops toast
>scared as a Jew near a fireplace
>get told that they're coming in and not to move
>door is slammed open
>pig cop guy tells me to put my hands behind my head and get on my knees
>tries to explain that I have no clue what's happening
>they gotta take me in for questioning because apparently someone reported a burglar in our house and they didn't believe I lived here
>offered to call parents
>they wouldn't pick up
>freaking out because I'm a small Indian child who's done nothing wrong
>drive to station is the longest ten minutes of my life
>arrive to police station
>get detained until parents arrive
Continue?
>>
>>682856678
Yeah. Ill post mine after.
>>
Continue interested
>>
>>682855142
Holy fuck use a consistent tense ya dingus.
>>
>>682855142
If it's any consolation, I've made that joke before OP.
>>
>>682857032
>waits four hours
>getting antsy because wheres mama and papa
>finally they arrive
>gets bombarded with insults
>"awful child, so dumb, all your fault"
>is confused because not my fault
>they get it all sorted out
>drive home in silence
>pulls into driveway
>guess who's waiting
>old lady holly
>dad tells me to apologize for scaring her "frail heart"
>awkwardly apologizes, tries to explain story
>"no need to explain, balloon monkey"
>she leaves
>I'm left shocked from her comment
>parents don't believe me about it
>have to make her a fucking apology cake
>cleans her yard every two weeks

Tldr: gets balloon face, old lady thinks I'm a burglar, cops come, learns old lady is racist, becomes her temporary bitch
>>
>>682857358
I'll rape you
>>
>>682856678
>scared as a Jew near a fireplace
>>
>>682856678
>indian
>wanting to rape a girl
checks out
>>
>>682858177
I also like to rape the occasional gold fish
>>
fucking sue them then dont come on 4chan to bitch about it.
>>
>>682857750
Damn op.
>biking down road near industrial park
>coming home from Chinese buffet
>pulled a Noah's ark and ate two of everything
>stomach startes making noises
>think nothing of it
>instant surge of pain backs up horrible sounds
>oh fuck I'm gonna shit hard
>pull off near parked car
>pissingoutmyass.jpg
>just when I think its over
>ROUNDTWO.PNG
>about fifteen minutes go by
>feel like a fuckin raisin
>wipe with sock
>go to pick up bike
>spotlight behind me
>"DON'T MOVE OR ILL SHOOT!"
>Naturally I pick up my bike haul ass
>jump for life into river bike still in hands
>swim like a motherfuckin salmon up stream
>exit 100ish feet up river on opsite bank
>bike is history by this point
>lights trying to tag me but I'm balls to the wall
>running thru trees lights long gone but hear dogs
>Fuckers are close keep moving
Continue?
>>
>>682859756
type bitch
>>
>>682859648
No my friend. This is just story time
>>
>green text
>>
>>682859648
He was underage at the time.
>>
>>682859756
Keep going my friend
>>
>>682855142
Ive never had the coppers called on me on ACCIDENT, so, yrah, cant help you there, Op.
>>
>>682860273
Tell anyway anon
>>
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>>682858177
>>
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>>682855142
>be me in 6th grade
>buy $2 airsoft gun off of ebay
>piece of shit plastic spring gun but to my imagination, i pretended it was the greatest thing ever
>cheap ass orange flash hider falls off
>know that that's illegal, but don't care
>go out in my open backyard (no fences) and pretend i'm a some soldier and start acting out missions
>while aiming at my trees i hear
>RENTON POLICE PUT THE GUN DOWN AND WALK OVER HERE
>i think in my head what the fuck did i do
>three cop cars in my driveway, 6 cops standing outside all with assault rifles
>as soon as they see me run over they all look relieved and laugh a little
>they call my mom outside and explain what happened
>apparently one of my neighbors called the cops saying that some crazy guy is outside waving a gun around
>cops are cool with me and say that my neighbors are idiots to relax me
>after taking down some information, they leave

shit was crazy, had assault rifles aimed near me ready to fire
>>
>>682860995
Tamir is that you?
>>
>>682860995
if you were black you'd be a meme by now
>>
>>682860995
Fucking kek
>>
>>682859756
>panicking out of breath freezing
>gotta keep moving
>hearing sirens blocking off a grid
>end up behind someone's garage
>phone somehow survives the water it was the rumor 1 with slide out keyboard
>call gf, hear dogs inbound getting closer
>keep running thru backyards, still in the grid
>trip over waist high wrought iron fence and get more fucked up
>DOGSDOGSFUCKINGDOGS MOTHERFUCKER RUN
>end up near some school
>call for ride
>paranoid as shit anxiety through the roof
>ride comes in ten minutes I'm crouched behind a dumpster
>gets tto me and iI dash in the back seat and lay on floor
>freezing shaking not out yet
>drives me by 2 roadblocks
>motherfuckers were trying to box me in closing off roads
>from under blankets I see flashlights
>wave the car through
>everything was smooth till the car crashed

Apparently it was a high crime area and the neighbors got spooked. I didn't shit for a week.
>>
>>682861293
nah
>>
>>682860995
You live in Renton WA, or somewhere else?
>>
>>682860417
K

>be me 13
> neighborhood trash bully decides to shoot a firework at my family dog (german shapherd)
>come outside from doing shitty homework cuz of noise
>see him, see my dog chase bully (hes 15)
> corner him 3 blocks away by a nerghbors RV start fighting
> brother shows up, beats him too
> neighbors come outside and start freaking out
>explain what happened
>liberal cucks say thry dont care violence solves nothing and the bully says next time hell kill our dog while standing behind neighbors
> they laugh
>brother and i shove old lady down and beat bully again
>they call the cops because i say if they touch me theyll go to jail for molesting a minor (just found out what it meant)
>cops come, side with us make me and bro apologize to old lady

Shit happened like this for 2 years until we got into a old mob style fight in an alley with wood and keys

My childhood was pretty fun until i discovered the internet
>>
Part time cop. Have storys. Wanna hear?
>>
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>>682860995
>>
>>682861833
Nigger what are you
>>
>>682861777
always!
>>
>>682860995
Bro, arent you like 8 or 9 at that point? Are you autistic playing out missions at thst age?
>>
>>682861777
Have at em
Also trips tho
>>
>>682862297
>dem trips
Alright keep the thread alive it's gonna take me a while to type these out on my phone
>>
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>>682861662
renton wa

>>682862451
didn't know that 8/9 year olds don't go outside to fuck around
>>
>>682857750
Did you poo in her garden or something?
>>
>>682862451
He's training for diamond dogs
>>
bumper
>>
>>682862720
Damn, I live there too.
>>
>>682862999
Just some yard work, she had one of those Yorkshire Terriers which shit enough to feed Africa
>>
>>682863356
That's right, blame it on the dog.
>>
Someone called the cops cuz they thought I was going to kill myself
>>
>>682863524
I'll rape the dog
>>
>>682863695
You didn't deliver
>>
>>682863697
You don't need to rape the dog. They'll give their fortune cookie to anyone.
>>
>>682863990
I will be raped by the dog
>>
>>682864198
Why wouldn't you want it to fuck you?
>>
>>682855142
>be me like 9 years ago
>17 at the time
>been at friend drinking and vidya
>night, decides to go home
friends house like 3km from mine
>walk on right side of road
>minding my own business listening to music
>hear a honk
>look up
>see plain black car on the wrong side of the road (right) way over speed limit heading towards me
>thisishowidie.jpg
>stops a few meters from me
>two men bursts out from the car
>gotdammitthisisreallyhowidie.png
>wrestles me to the ground and puts handcuffs on me
>wut?
Turns out there had been a armed burglary close by. Cops were out searching the area.
After some talking and "looking me up" (no idea whats it called in english) they let me go.
They were quite friendly.
>>
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;^)
>>
>>682864370
Dog sex is the best sex because dog dick is reddish pink aka salmon and when I was a small boy growing up in Minnesota I would go fishing all alone for trout until one day a homeless man taught me the best fish are salmon we met every Sunday after church to fish for salmon and we fell in love until one day he learned he had AIDS and was going to die and his last gift to me was the painting of my room salmon and then two weeks later my house burned down killing my whole family and all the salmon items were lost so when I get an itch for salmon I just FUCK a dog to remind me of the prior life I lived
>>
>>682855142
Never, I'm white.
>>
>>682864991
Probably a CIS scum too please kys
>>
Alrighty then

>Be me, 11 at the time
>At school, working and stuff
>Always had these pencils which somehow got stolen
>Get to school, notice my fucking pencils got stolen again
>Mad, start accusing some guy of doing it
>Yada yada screaming and cursing
>Teacher walks in, asks me to come to the teacher's table
>Still mad my fucking pencils got stolen
>Teacher opens this 'Case' which is located under her desk
>MRW pencils, pencils fucking everywhere
>INeedThose.JPG
>Next day during break, see the oppertunity
>Go inside to classroom, get to the case and fucking take al the pencils
>MRW no more pencil-less Anon
>Break is over, kids go inside
>Teacher notices pencil case is empty
>Everyone gets looked under their desks
>MRW i see them coming to my desk
>shitshitshit
>(my seat is located near the window, which was open)
>See the oppertunity, teacher doesnt look
>fucking throw all the pencils out the window
>NobodySawThatLol
>All clean, teachers dont find shit in class
>Another teacher enters the class, clearly mad of something
>Teacher2 holds the pencils and asks wtf is this shit
>MRW i see those pencils
>MRW my seat is near the window
>Teachers look at me
>I lie and deny everything
>somehow they believe me

>Next day, a fucking cop comes to class
>Confused
>Cop starts teaching us not to steal and shit
>Cop looks my straight in the eye
>Freak out
>Cop laughs and nothing else happends
>MRW steal pencils next day
>Pencil thief strikes again

No more need for pencils
>>
>>682864894
Woof.
>>
>>682865240
/b/ and the case of the wild pencil thief
>>
>>682865382
RED ROCKET RED ROCKET FILL MY BROWN SOCKET
>>
>>682864616
>wrestles me to the ground
>they were quite friendly

Wut
>>
>>682865240
Got some more stories though, but Anon is tired
>>
>>682865769
>ruptures my colon
>they were gentle
>>
;^)
>>
>be me 13 at the time
>middle school stoner buying Arizona tea at Walgreens
>have my back pack on me while standing in line
>manager walks up to me and asks me to go to back room with her
>I say "um ok" cause I'm stoned and not really thinking
>manager says "ok empty your bag"
>wut?
>say no because I have weed in there
>she says she will call the cops
>I tell her I don't give a fuck cause I didn't steal shit
>put Arizona tea back and walk out store
>go smoke a blunt in the woods
>walk out of the woods blazed
>3 cop cars pull up on me
>cops ask what's in my bag
>I say nothing
>tell them I don't consent to a search
>cop says "oh we got a fucking lawyer"
> cops end up letting me go
>>
cool stories
>>
>>682866030
o shit waddup
>>
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>>682865952
>Molests a child
>They were Gentle
>>
>>682865769
After they´ve searched me and heard my story, we talked a little while they were waiting for headquarters (seriously, I don´t know these things in english) to give them my profile.
One of the guys were definitely someone I could go and take a beer with.
>>
>>682866667
One off. You know what that means.
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