you know what to do
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
you know what to do
howdy partner
>>682852019
can i jizz on your glasses and take you to mcdonalds after?
>>682852177
lame. waiting for reply
"wanna try to trump my stump?"
>>682852019
what color is your asshole?
>>682852019
My fave books do u read too I'm a total nerd xD
>>682852019
are you a feminist?
White people. Am I right?
Nice lips
>>682852456
Roll
"You look like the girl who pooped on a bunch of flags."
include pic
>>682852019
That's a man.
"You and me, poop back and forth, forever."
[(卐)] Heil Hitler![(卐)]
I'm a potato
>>682852570
shame this wasn't odds
>>682852513
reroll
please fuck me
>>682852613
Does the carpet match the drapes
>>682852613
i touched my moms clit once on accident.
I was helping her with an ingrown hair
>>682852019
Hey cumguzzler, 8 inches, think you can handle that?
if no,
YOU SAY NO TO MY AR-15 YOU FUCKIN PRICK
Dick pic
>>682852456
"I have 2 penises. They hate each other."
>>682852613
Should we gas the kikes
>>682852613
Hey babe, I vape.
Now that you want my D, show me what I'm working with so I might consider.
Have you ever stuck a pen up your butt just to see what it feels like? Me neither.
>>682852744
Reroll
>>682852613
Niggers
"I have a bleached asshole."
>>682852881
Reroll
>>682852715
>>682852613
winrar
>>682852744
Winrar
>>682852513
rollin'
>>682852715
she unmatched because of this.... stop being completely retarded
"There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen."
>>682852613
'Your name is an anagram for Hazel Bite, which is a coincidence.'
When she responds asking why: 'Because I want you to bite my hazel'.
At least you'll be original before she cancels that match.
Op is a faggot
"Penises grow from clits"
OP here
>>682852019
I want to practice my deepthroat technique on bananas, but I am worried that the banana will break off in my throat and I will choke.
How did you practice?
The only thing that I can do to help you to be a good idea for me to do with the new year is your favorite part of my resume and I am not a good idea of the time of year to date on all of your website on top and the rest is history of a few weeks back to me and my husband is in a couple days and then you will have a good idea of the time of year to date with all of your help with this mail is to get a new thread in a couple days and then you will be a good idea.
>>682853366
>>682853388
dubs winrar?
"Want to come over and watch Netflix and eat chili?"
>>682853463
fine jusr cuz its funny
>>682853366
Tell her her name is an anagram for 'Made alien' and then ask her if she's a reptilian.
"If I said you have a nice body, would you gag on my cock?"
waiting on this
>>682853563
don't worry, anon, that line got me my wife
Do you like loli?
>>682853702
that is over
>>682853702
you need to post a new grill to keep the thread going
It might be hours before deepthroat replies
>>682852019
Tell her you wanna keemstar her
Yo babe, I vape all day. Now that you want my D, you better give me all the best parts of you, uncovered, so I can see if I should even consider letting you have my footlong. And yah, it's 12 inches and you can't say otherwise if you want it.
OP here
>>682853891
yeah she unmatched kek
>>682854103
I thru hiked the appalachain trail last year. It sure was lonely. Want to come with this year? I need something to barter for smokes
>>682854069
69 says you should do it
Anyways, go for the a fruit hanging so low, it's fucking buried in the ground.
>>682854103
Your name is an anagram for 'A ass nice'. Can you confirm?
Hello M'lady, Do you like men who wear fedoras and are kind to their loving partners? Well you're in luck, because I do both.
ARE YOU A FEMINISM
>>682854369
>69
Doo eet anon
>>682854369
whats with you and ur autistic anagrams
>>682854272
Cinammon rolling af
>>682854436
Bitches love feeling special and they think you thought a lot to say shit like that. Btw, change that to 'a nice ass' kek
>>682854403
Rolling for this.
>>682854103
What part of your menstrual cycle are you on?
>>682854369
>>682854103
Why not 'a nice ass'?
It's anagram too
>>682854664
Yes, I'm not an English speaker and it's late as fuck here. I'm tired.
>>682854544
she gonna unmatch but whatever, better than the rest and dont want thread to die
>>682854103
"So, you come here often?"
>>682854735
Frenchfag go to sleep
>>682854103
Hey beautiful. How do you like your eggs? Sunny side up, scrambled, or fertilized?
>>682854369
>A ass nice
"A nice ass" flows a little better there bud
>>682854103
nice lips. are they ready for game time?
>>682854809
I'm not a French faggot, faggot
>>682854887
Rolling for this
>>682852513
Vid/story?
PENIS BOOK
>>682854951
I mean it's got to be close, right, faggot
Hello, my name is OP. I'd tell you my life story, but I'm afraid the details are quite inconsequential. But very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self improving boulongerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical; summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. At age 9, I received my first scribe. At age 12, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing quite like a shorn scrotum, I suggest you try it.
I have an average sized penis (4.5 inches hard) reply if you're interested.
Tell her what you want to do to her. Include fucked up fetishes, touching random body parts with one of your random parts, anything disturbing you can think of.
no one's replying
>>682855158
Yes, because your mum called me five times to go to bed already
>>682855411
no one loves you
my pp is 400 feet long ill fuk u reel hard bby
>>682855411
I may die today. Help me celebrate.
>>682855327
That's less than 12cm
I bet your mum's cunt has a longer diameter
>>682855411
I'd like to lick the insides of your cheeks.
>>682855411
Wow! :0 you're super beautiful, girl.
I like you ;D
>>682855411
cunt is a bad word, date me and i will never call you a dirty fucking cut, that is one thing I can promise. I hate the word cunt.
>>682855798
cunt*
>>682855463
Woaaahhhh sick burn germanfag(?) xDxDxDxDxDxD HAHAHAHAA
>>682855646
Wrong post, shoody doody
>>682855411
Hey girl. Papa John here, and I'm ready to give you the sauce.
o shit boys we got one, 7 decides, get me pussy
How often do you cut yourself? Rawr XD ;)
>>682855798
That looks good.
>>682856301
Only gay for moleman. I was just being dumb. Haha. What's up?
>>682856301
jk wanna bang?
>>682856301
she double texted, we're in
>>682856301
Only if that turns you on ;)
>>682856301
Gay for that pussi, bb
>>682856441
Reroll
>>682856301
help straighten me out
>>682856441
rolling this
>>682856301
I identify as OPkin, so I guess technically, I could be called a faggot, but I think you might just change that.
>>682856466
roll
>>682856469
I try. ;) Pickup lines arent the only thing I'm terrible btw
>>682856555
TRIPS HAVE SPOKEN
>>682856555
wintrips
>>682856555
rollin'
>>682856555
Rolling this
>>682856635
are you retarded
>>682856469
>>682856301
I am the banana guy, i told you my wife fell for this...
you haven't shared your technique yet?
>>682856578
So close both times... RR.
>>682856613
Re roll it
>>682856301
Dick pic you stupid cunt
>>682856685
kys nigga
>>682856555
gotta do it for trips
>>682856691
Again
>>682856469
"I thought the worst pick up line in history was "so you're gay""
"You could do a lot better, maybe add a banana in there somewhere for comedic relief. "
>>682856685
ffuucckk
>>682856476
Rolling for this
>>682856466
reroll
>>682856469
spam her with banana pics
>>682856555
this
>>682856763
u first. I'll be right behind ya.
>>682856785
rr
>>682856885
Bull..Fucking..Shit...rr
"You can use a strap on. It's a win/win situation"
>>682856613
rolling for this
>>682856765
send tits so I can see if I get a boner
Make her think you're an emo hipster whiteknight
I'm just gonna come out and say it... How do you feel about strapons?
>>682856765
"Quit being a bitch and teach me how to deep throat a banana"
>>682857081
re-roll
>>682856765
I have a banana in my ass right now. Feels good. Mmmhhm
Send her a dick pic
>>682856765
It was a bad pickup line. I am sorry. I am disappoint. I let down family I kill self now.
Ask her for a dick pic
Send her this
Dick pick nigga
>>682856765
I'm sorry, I've been diagnosed with acoustism
>>682857598
Pic*
>>682856765
"if you teach me how to deep throat a banana I'll reward you with a good Fuck"
>>682857640
kek
I apologize for my rude behaviour, but whatever I say is currently being decided on the whim of a thread full of autistic fags
>>682856765
"Just bend over it'll all be over quick"
>>682857710
I'm an autistic faggot. Only cure is nudes please help
>>682857864
im waiting for her to reply>>682857864
Did you see the new episode of Naruto shippuden? IT WAS AMAZING
bumpity bump bump bump
>>682856765
"My dick tastes like bread "
>>682854069
R3r011
>>682857931
post another match faggot
"I wouldn't say I'm gay. Not in the conventional sense. If you had a cock, I would give you the blowjob of a life time, cause your just my type. But, then again, maybe you don't have a peen. That's ok too. The things my tongue would do to your sensitive little asshole would make your toes curl. I'm a conduit of sexual pleasure. A coitus savant. You could just dismiss me as a fool, or you could take advantage of a unique opportunity. A ticket to ride the pleasure coaster is at your disposal. Seems a shame to deny yourself the possibility of a religious experience. Want to take a chance, roll the dice, see God?"
Dubs decides my fate, no longer care /bros
>>682856765
"touch your toes and count to ten that's all I need"
>>682858290
dam ok chill
>>682858364
make ur own thread faggot
Wow, those boobs are quite nice
>>682858544
WIN
>>682858364
Abort. That girl would fuck you in half. You couldn't handle her.
>>682858518
>>682854069
Rolling rolling
>>682858364
"hi I'm a virgin and I was hoping you would change that ;)"
>>682858493
What size are those?
>>682858364
Nice tits, shame about the face
>>682858493
"have my babies"
>>682858644
>>682858699
>>682858544
Oh shit, triple dubs
>>682858493
"let's skip all the bullishit and just send me nudes"
>>682858364
>>682858493
So... How long has it been since you've washed up ashore and away from Free Willy?
>>682858496
>>682858493
"Hi, let's see those juggs"
>>682858544
Sent.
>>682859031
Holy shit that's hilarious
Tits n timestamp or you're a dewd
>>682858890
Reroll...?
>>682858493
I know her.
Her phone is : 571 (area code) 239 7190, she cheats on everyone she dates.
>>682859031
>OP did it. My sides!
>>682858493
>>682859266
>>682859266
Winrar
>>682859266
there's no way that's her, that's def not her area code lmao
>>682859504
isnt op look at top bar
still delivered tho
>>682859642
Top kek
>>682859266
send her this. please
Something good better happen soon, I'm probably missing some nice trap threads for this.
>>682859266
>The plot thickens
>>682859266
Whoops typed that in wrong.
>>682859677
>>682859662
>>682859761
wrong area.
area and 239 are switched. 239 is ara, 571 is after.
K
>>682854777
How is no one checking those trips?
>>682852911
Winrar winrar
Check these dubs
Check
>>682860023
>fag kys
These
>>682859504
Yeah, not op, but I'll keep delivering, I've given up pretty much all hope on finding a decent women, so I'll say whatever the fuck anymore, just don't give me any shit that'd get me put in jail and I'll say it
You know the drill, dubs decides what I say to this warlock
>>682860141
Krill yourself
>>682860219
id rock your world with my cock of time
>>682860219
Gosh your a handsome lass. Wanna smoke some meth and burn our clothes?
>>682860219
She a real bot harry
>>682860219
My ass is totally bigger than your tits, gonna need a better picture to confirm
>>682860219
Hi, you seem like a nice girl
>>682860219
i would berry my dick so far inside your ass who ever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur
>>682860592
roll
>>682860219
Girl, I want you to cover your boobs in tomato sauce and suck them while you eat sushi.
>>682860592
roll
>>682860219
send her the banana deeptrhaot one from before
>>682860688
bingo!
>>682859891
Hold on tight, I'm calling this bitch right now. I'mma record it.
>>682860499
Dubs. Do it.
>>682858364
I wanna eat your pussy like a 5th-grader's snot-filled nose
>>682860219
redict to >>682860949
>>682860592
Sent tits
>>682860844
WINAR
Found this on Facebook couple years ago
>>682860592
roll
>>682861055
>>682860592
winrar
>>682861055
DUBS
>>682854951
go to sleep you damn eurofag
>>682860499
Done.
>>682861602
What a shity one to choose, there was 5 other dubs that were way better
YOU FAGGOTS ARENT EVEN SENDING THIS SHIT. NO WONDER YOURE TINDER QUEERS, YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO LIVE LIFE. FUCKING DELIVER OR KILL YOURSELVES.
>>682861772
Yes but I'm literally going for the first dubs dude, I honestly don't give a fuck what these girls think as I have no intention of following through with any of them.
As I said, as long as it doesn't involve me getting arrested for saying it, I'll literally say fucking anything.
Purely in this for teh lulz
>>682861809
Dear Claudia,
You should try not to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend.
>>682859891
>>682860844
This whore didn't pick up. To make up, I sang about it. Enjoy .
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1U2yd1s2RAe
>>682862111
Trips
>>682862111
checked
