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okay /b/ I need your help. how do I get the...
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okay /b/ I need your help. how do I get the cum stains off of my wall. pic related. I need help my family is coming over soon and everyone will see it
>>
You're donezo op, glhf gg no re
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>>682840843
Baking soda, dipshit.
>>
>>682840843
Step 1: don't cum on your walls
>>
Windex worked for me
>>
>>682840843
Keep us informed, I'll get the popcorn started
>>
Who the fuck cums on walls
>>
you actually have to use matches
>>
Put some furniture in front of it, like a chest of draWERs, or an enormous stuffed animal
>>
vinegar + washcloth idiot
>>
>>682841213
like this shit? do I just pour it on the wall?
>>682841221
what's step 2
>>682841636
now isn't the time for judgment I have a serious problem here
>>
lick them
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>>682842014
Yes, pur as much as you want on the wall. Let it sit for as long as it can to remove the proteins in the cum.
>>
wtf what kind of retard just sprays his load all over the wall
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>>682842014
>now isn't the time for judgment I have a serious problem here
Ha!
>>
The only thing that removes cum is more cum
>>
>>682840843
This is the best ylyl thread ever.
And work on ur aim OP, like ffs, if you ever get a chick and do bareback ur gonna impregnate the neighbors wife with that aim.
>>
i like how the OP is still proud enough to have attitude to anons despite his situation
>>
>>682842495
blast it with piss
>>
>>682842026
>lick them
Damn, I'm too late to this thread.
>>
>>
If you wipe it away (not hard) it'll fade and be invisible after a while

If you try hard to wipe it off you'll just scrape the paint off and end up with an even more noticeable mess

So just try wipe it off with tissue and wait 30 minutes it'll fade
>>
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>>682840843
>>682842014
You're fucking disgusting.
>>
>>682842014
Chili.

You need to cum in a small container (small glass, tacobowl or whatever) and chop 1/3'rd of a normal chili as fine as you can.
And save the "juice" from the chopping board!

After you need to squeeze the chili to pop as many of the cells as you can before mixing it into the jizz before rubbing it on the stains. (Do not fucking rub it outside for obvious reasons)

Why does this work?
The chili mixes with the chili juices and creates a chemical bond when mixed (only the juices, not the meat of the chili).
>Why don't I just rub the chili on the wall?
Because it doesn't bond that easily. You need to start the reaction outside since you are working with a hard surface.
gl faggot
>>
>>682842942
I'm afraid that this is not simply my first time. this is a build up of multiple times of cumming on the wall
>>682841896
I can't. It's in a weird place and I'm not strong enough to move the bed against the wall. I'm a weakfag
>>682842942
>>682842934
>>682842140
Are you sure the baking soda thing will work? I feel like it would need some sort of liquid wouldn't it? And I can't afford to fuck up the paint guys the man downstairs will take another one of my chair legs
>>
>>682843631
>Another one of my chair legs
Story Time?
>>
>>682843631
Cum cleaning expert here, baking soda definitely helps. If you just wipe it away it will stain
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> I can't afford to fuck up the paint guys the man downstairs will take another one of my chair legs
>>682843631

>I'm afraid that this is not simply my first time. this is a build up of multiple times of cumming on the wall


Wtf is going on over there OP?
>>
>>682840843
Use paint thinner
>>
>>682844014
last time I broke the fan and one time when I broke the curtain the man downstairs came up when I'm wasn't home and took away the legs of my chair and when I go to sit down on it chair fall over. he does this three times now. its never expected because sometimes he waits a long time. friend came over and stole sink faucet one time and I not know and for the next two weeks I check chair before I sit down but one month later I go to sit and chair break. I have broken my wrist because of this. it seems like it is not that much of an issue but it is a serious inconvenience. that and he takes safety deposit every month even if nothing is broken and if something is broken he makes me pay for it too.

this is not very important. I need the cum stains off of my wall. help me
>>
>>682844689
country?
>>
>>682844689
>>682844940
I sense a slav in our midst...
>>
>>682844940
I am in Latvia

>>682844689
it also might help to mention that chair legs is not only thing he takes. he kills me silently. things I do not expect. he will put a chain that is barely too long on my bicycle and when I go to get grocery I crash half way there. he has come before and put white cd covers over my dvds that I watch and then moved them around in their cases so that I cannot see which movie I am going to play and I may try 50 times to get good movie but not find movie. he has put coolaid powder in shower head and the new sink faucet that I bought when friend stole it so that my body and hands turn red when I use water. he does these all the time but I cant move out because he is only one in town who will let me have my bread
>>
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>>682845686
>he is the only one in town who will let me have my bread
>>
>>682845686
Sounds like he wants to start a prank war

This is now a prank thread
>>
>>682845686
>Latvia
Let it be known that I, >>682845416
called it that OP is a slav.
>>
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>>682846151
people in village don't like me eating my bread even though is family recipe is best in country

why not focusing on my wall I have baking soda what do now please help I don't have long
>>
>>682846240
It is know. You are psychicfag now.
Got any lottery pics?
>>
cover all walls with come and it'll just look normal
>>
>>682846579
66666
>>
If the walls are pretty white, use 1:9 bleach to water and rub it into stain with cloth or something.
>>
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>>682846539
I guk,d anyway.
>>
>>682846751
>>682846684
I am serious this is actual problem please help me b I need to fix wall

>>682846707
no the walls are tan they are like skin like flesh
>>
>>682846539
Just apply baking soda to the cum stains.

Add a little water so it'll actually stick to the wall.

Your problem's already taken care of once you actually bother to start doing it.

Now we're just reeling at the ridiculousness of your whole living situation. This thread will survive through the ages as a screencap.
>>
>>682847426
It fucking better, I called this shit.
>>
>>682847010
Cleaning person here.

It looks bad. You're gonna need a strong mixture of equal parts bleach & ammonia.

Stir together and apply with a sponge,

Tell us how it goes.
>>
Buy some paint... and paint it
>>
>>682846539
BAKING soda, he's got BAKING soda
>>
>>682847710
1:9 bleach guy here, I meant 1:2 1/2 bleach ammonia. It actually works. You won't even remember it was there.
>>
Following to see results for a similar situation
>>
>>682847426
does this look like it will work? am waiting for results
>>
I'm thinking your walls are porous right? You need to mix the soda with a little water and wipe for a few mins...

If your walls are smooth and plastic like, just rub the hell out of them with water.
>>
>>682847710
This I used this for snot I flung and was all over wall worked perfect
>>
>>682847710

Do not forget to keep the windows closed outside humidity will make the cleaning solution fail
>>
>>682848294
Also bleach and brake fluid
>>
am op. still waiting for results. it looks like might do good yes. if not I will try the ammonia bleach but I am not sure that I have ammonia will the brake fluid work like >>682848850 said?
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>>682849215
Yes
>>
>>682849215
Will work just as good
>>
>>682849215
FYI this is how you make a chemical bomb. Don't do.
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>>682849215
DON'T DO BLEACH AND BRAKE FLUID, THAT CAN EXPLODE
>>
>>682849450
Nu uhhh
>>
>>682849450
>>682849447
two say no
>>682849388
>>682849296
two say yes. am going with dubs dubs do not fail
>>
>>682840843
In chemistry, like dissolves like.
So you need a supply of cum to dissolve the old cum.
Go to it, OP.
>>
>>682849447
>>682849450
Quit trying to troll him guys a bomb come on try a little harder than that.
>>
>>682849666
trips hath spoken
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>>682849634
makes perfect sense
>>
>>682849447 I didn't roll dubs >>682849585
He has a point. Dubs say do it.
>>
Trips don't lie bleach is good bro
>>
>>682848721
Cleaning guy again.
That looks fucked. You're gonna have to brush that shit off before you do the bleach & ammonia [brake fluid] mix.

Goddamn Op you're making a bigger mess then needed.
>>
>>682840843

how did you manage that you tard
>>
>>682849634
This actually makes sense. And is probably the best legit answer
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>>682849215
ok, it's bait. He doesn't have ammonia to mix with bleach and produce toxic fumes, but he has brake fluid so he can mix it with bleach and cause an exposion
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>>682840843

OP is retarded, he literally came on his bee and wall again before asking this.
>>
Any progress pics?
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>>682840843
Just replace all light bulbs with blacklight
>>
White power!!!!!!!
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>>682850186
probably dead lmao
>>
>>682850244
Dübś
>>
Please op, don't be stupid and kill yourself.
bleach and brake fluid explodes, my brother died when he got ammonia and brake fluid mixed up
>>
holy shit comrades am op and the baking soda has done it it has worked. children are almost entirely off of wall. the wall looks like paint is not right paint and is not right color. how do fix /b/? will bleach and brake fluid do job well good or will more baking soda be yes?
>>
just rub it with gasoline. obvs yr good at rubbing it out. light a match if the smell gets too strong.
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>>682850401
hair dryer. it's still wet
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>>682842655
> ur gonna impregnate the neighbors wife with that aim

You just won this thread anon. Here, have a dead kitty on me.
>>
Get the last pieces off with more cum.

It sounds retarded I know but if you cum on a rag and dab the cum that's stained it shuld in theory react and dissolve the cum on the wall
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>>682850401
BLEACH AND BRAKE FLUID WILL EXPLODE FAGGOT

BLEACH AND AMMONIA IS HOW FIX.
IF YOU DON'T, THE BAKING SODA WILL ONLY BE TEMPORARY AND THE STAIN WILL BE BACK IN ABOUT 10-20 MINUTES
>>
>>682850335
>>682850012
>>682849450
>>682849447
what I read is that bleach brake fluid is a very no. I do not have ammonia the man downstairs probably does but I do not want ask. I can get brake fluid from garage without man knowing and that is why I was going to use brake fluid but if brake fluid is a no then I will no
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>>682850684
bleach and ammonia equals toxic gas
>>
>>682850505
I do not have hair I have no hair dryer will a towel work if rub hard
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>>682850684
Let him try bleach and break fluid
He can handle it :)
He knows exactly what he's doing because if he don't he would of been a normal person and wiped it off with a damp cloth but hey, bleach and break fluid sounds better
>>
>>682850767
how about vinegar?

you will need 1:3 then. Make at least 10oz
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>>682850401
>>682850684
>>
Guys, stop with the bleach and brake fluid. /b/ is not going to stoop so low and get someone killed.
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>>682850767
Bleach is fine they just want u to keep making a bigger mess
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>>682848233
gtfo nigger
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>>682851038
Yeah that's mostly scaremongering. Sure, you get some chloramine gas but if you aren't in a tent with no ventilation you should be fine
>>
>>682851298
>>682851075
Don't use pure bleach, it will stain your wall very white.
>>
>>682851358
bit of an overreaction, no?
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am op and no more old problem new problem yes comrades. baking soda is in carpet wat do b no vacuum will fit and I do not know how clean help
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>>682840843
Bleach
>>
>>682851375
You're thinking about brake fluid.
>>
>>682851440
He is right mix it with ammonia to weaken it a bit
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>>682851487
rub your hand through it back and forth and it should make your carpet launch it up a bit. Keep doing that until it's not noticeable
>>
Throw a small amount of black on the baking soda. It'll fiz and dissappear.
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>>682851482
first off you do not even know the reference.
second fuck off.
>>
>>682851278
He will at most start a small fire with bleach and brake fluid, but with ammonia and bleach he will make dangerous gas
>>
>>682851487
Jesus how do you function. Either use it with water to clean your carpet or house a broom pressing from the side instead of the normal action
It provides for firmer bristles and more dust moving action
>>
>>682850401
Well now you've done it Op. Looks like you're gonna have to clean the whole wall or that spot's gonna stick out

This guy's got the right idea: >>682850478
>
just rub it with gasoline. obvs yr good at rubbing it out. light a match if the smell gets too strong
But.. you're gonna need to make a paste to get it to stick to the wall.
Got any Styrofoam plates or cups? Break a few up into the gas and stir until it's a paste.

Tell us how it goes.
>>
>>682851637
Any acid will work, ammonia is the easiest to get the right mix of though.
>>
>>682851731
Bleach *
>>
>>682851551
No brake fluid and bleach are completely intent
It just makes for a more useful cleaner
>>
>>682851737
lol. if i said it how can i not know the reference?
>>
>>682851905
you do not know why the nigger is saying baking soda in the video.
i told you fuck off.
>>
>>682840843
mix bleach amonia copper and blow it

It vanish the stains
also makes beautiful crystal and death
>>
>>682852051
how do you know i don't know why? and wtf is your problem anyway? you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm
>>
OP, this is what happens when you mix bleach and brake fluid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quutyx3gYTA

>please don't be stupid
>>
>>682852315
you just have no clue. trust me.
>>
>>682851681
you are very smart man comrade thank you baking soda is no more there is gone now thank

the stains seem to still be on the wall but they are less there do use more baking sode or get bleach ammonia brake fluid mix help

>>682851787
I do not have gasoline I ride bicycle gas is no and no Styrofoam if plastic paper plate work yes but no foam in house
>>
>>682852581
bc ur the wisest anon on the internet and i am a know-nothing pleb? get off your pedestal jackass.
>>
>>682852632
don't criticize. we're just having an argument. you can argue along if you like. pick a side.
>>
Fake slavic heritage/10
>>
>>682852638
Are you a greasy Russian fucker? Calling the fucking plebs comrade.
>>
>>682852638
mix bleach and any acid and it will stablize the bleach so it won't discolor the paint, then rub it on the spots
>>
Yes try the bleach method works perfect.
>>
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holy fucking shit if someone is screencapping then make a new thread I need this screencap
>>
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>>682852909
>>
This thread is glorious, sadly I'm almost out of popcorn
>>
>>682852638
I've already told you anon
>>682850615
>>
>>682853203
I have just jacked dong I do not think I can make enough cum
>>
>>682840843
Why the fuck are jizzing on the wall anon? Damn dude just use a tissue or a sock, fuck I mean, just lay on back and let it shoot on your stomach ffs. Why the wall? As for your question, just scrub it with bleach and tell your family you need to repaint that area.
>>
>>682851487
wtf, are u retarded? do u require hlp with everything in your life?
just eat ur way out of it bro
>>
>>682853363
sandpaper on wall then tell family you spilt coffee or something on it and it needs to be repainted
>>
>>682852638
Well you're back to square one.
The baking soda was a faggot idea and didn't work. Had to clean the rug up too.

You should have listened and went with the bleach mix but Noooo....

Now what? Everyone's gonna see that and ask. But they'll know the truth OP.
Yes they'll know...
>>
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>>682852802
>we're just having an argument
>get off your pedestal jackass.

i do not argue, you just do not know whats the reference to baking soda in the video. but thats ok, there are bunch of normans out there.

>>682852632
>pic related
congrz
>>
you basically have to paint over the fucking wall man. semen/blood...that shit never totally leaves. ask anyone in forensics
>>
>>682842014
Yeah, a serious problem called mental illness. Who the fuck cums on the wall unless it accidentally went over some chick's shoulder
>>
>>682853948
i do not know what's the reference to baking soda in the video, but i do know what's the reference to baking soda in the song. does that count?
>>
>>682852638
Kek. The stains didn't even come oUT. Now your family will look at that and be like "looks like anon tried really hard to clean those jizz stains and failed, even fucked up his carpet too. Where did we fail as parents?"
>>
am op I am mixing bleach amonia now.
>>
>>682854451
It's not his parents he's hiding it from. it's the man that steals his chair legs that he's hiding it from.
>>
>>682854607
Godspeed, anon
>>
>>682854337
just sad how norman you are... go back to youtube comments or plebbit.
>>
>>682854607
>mixing bleach amonia
god damn I love 4chan.
>>
>>682854451
>Where did we fail as parents?"
They'll probably do that interpretive dance too.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7c9_1442749005&comments=1

Way to disappoint Op.
>>
GUYS OP's DOING IT

>>682854607
>>
>>682854607
Where did you get ammonia? Don't inhale it
>>
>>682840843
why did you fucking cum on the wall? you deserve whatever is coming your way faggot
>>
op here. I am going for the ammonia friends. you are telling me that bleach and ammonia is the best way, yes?
>>682854607
fuck off you fucking ukraine fuck I am op another pic to confirm you are faget anonymous I come and fuck your mother

I am going off now to steal ammonia I think man downstairs is gone and I will mix ammonia and the bleach and post when mix is done before put on wall yes? wish me luck comrades
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCXugT-1npE
>>
>>682855015
sorry, i only post on /b/. you'll just have to live with that fact. sucks to be u anon.
>>
>>682855153
WTH???
If he holds his breath he'll pass out.and smack his head on something,
BREATHE OP BREATHE DEEP
>>
>>682855030
you fell for low quality bait. sad
>>
>>682854607
>>682855194
oh shit nigger
>>
>>682855469
>live with that fact
>>>/reddit/
>>
> making this harder than it needs to be

just put something in front of the wall you dumb fuck
>>
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>>682855194
>>
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>>682852802
>>682853948
>>682854337
>>682855015
>>682855469
>>682855766
looksonthesefaggotsdontquit.png
>>
Spray it with soda, it's acidic so it will neutralize semen which is basic. Simple chemistry
>>
>>682856171
me
that asshole
me
that asshole
me
that asshole
you
>>
>>682856171
>pic related
>>
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somebody screencap please I'm begging
>>
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>>682856478
dude i told you already
>>>/plebbit/
>>
>>682856575
alrady done
>>
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>>682856478
>>682856558
>>
>>682856752
post?
>>
>>682856828
I'm gonna wait till thread dies and stitch em together, check the ylyl threads for a while.
>>
>>682856962
sounds good
>>
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>>682855194
mfw op is kill
>>
>>682857474
Needs a chair leg in there,
>>
>>682842014
are you attracted to walls OP
>>
Post pics of how good it came out OP
>>
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>>682845686
>>682855194
rip bread nigger
>>
it is work! thank comrades!
>>
>>682856420
>>682855832
>>682855964
>>682858228
>>682858767
its too late /b/ros. op is kill
>>
>>682858905
Still almost the fucking same
>>
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>>682858905
just look at the filename
>>
>>682858905
You need glasses dude.

Just go with the blacklight idea the other anon suggested.
>>
>>682859111
mfw it is the same because it's the same picture as
>>682852638
>>
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1) paint room
2) profit!
>>
>>682858905
definitely not op. that filename, and the resolution is off
>>
>>682859214
screen shot because 4chan no let me post tiff picture
>>
>>682859449

OP had to take a screenshot because you can't upload a .tiff image.
see >>682859517
>>
>>682859517
>>682858905
not OP. fuck off fag. OP had the same format for filenames and the resolution was the same. they were also all JPG images. no TIFF. fuck off faggot
>>
>>682859685
>>682859517
Yeah, see this guy
>>682859731
>>
should it smell bad? my eyes hurt. should i open window.
>>
>>682854628
Yeah, but at least he lets him have bread.
>>
is op kill?
>>
vinegar w/ sponge or towel
>>
rip op
>>
>>682858905
>>682859517
>>682860136
op is back comrades. timestamp and wall and baking sode to prove I am real op not ukranian faggot imposter. I am not kill I am very live man downstairs come home and smell smell and he come up and see bleach and ammonia and say I need hospital and open window. he says if no go hospital then no live home and I cannot move I have to keep making bread so ancestors not disappoint. man did not notice stains when come upstairs yes comrades? I am going to hospital. trust no pictures or posts anymore on here unless they have timestamp yes comrades? those are imposters that try to steal my name and bread. this will be final post but do not worry comrades. I will return.
>>
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How about cum in a fucking sock next time you dirty fuck
>>
>>682861816
OP you glorious bastard. toasting in epic bread.
>>
>>682840843
its 4 am and i'm worrying about some anons cum stains on the wall, FML
>>
>>682861816
How can you trust the man downstairs?
He's not taking you to the hospital! He's gonna KILL you!

Lock the door and close the window.
Get back to scrubbing Op. When he see's how clean it is he'll want to taste your bread.

HURRY
>>
>>682861816
Alright, OP. I'm gonna go ahead and call bogus on this last post, because I don't believe your actually mixed bleach and ammonia, and I don't believe you're going to the hospital.

However, I'm giving you credit for one of the best threads I've seen in awhile. And I'll also give you extra credit for not trying to bullshit us too much and for not dragging this thread around like a dead horse.

Great thread. Thank you for the laughs. Always needed.
>>
>>682862759
agreed. assuming that OP meant that he wasn't gonna post anymore, though, someone should drop the screencaps in here.
>>
>>682863129
on it
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>>682864026
bumping for this. want to remember toasting in here
>>
File: 0rhnuu6.png (289 KB, 620x372) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0rhnuu6.png
289 KB, 620x372
>>682861816
fuck the ukraine
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>>682840843
jizz on the rest of the wall man, it will look more uniform.
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>>682865250
for real what did op have against ukranians
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>>682840843
maybe toss a glass of water on the wall so you can say you just done goofed
>>
if anyone is just tuning in, read from the beginning. definitely worth the read. epic bread
Thread replies: 203
Thread images: 35
Thread DB ID: 35286



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