You gonna enlist, /b/?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You gonna enlist, /b/?
>army
no, I'm not a nigger
my education surpasses what the army would offer me in terms of mental health degradation and profit...
so ill stay a preschool teacher
>>682833872
>working as a peon for "legal" organized crime circles
Yeah, nah
>>682833872
Nope
>>682834079
Noone here should have anything to do with kids.
>>682833872
Already did my time, groundpounder.
>>682834025
>>682834079
>>682834127
>weak
Sorry, the Army doesn't issue fedoras.
>>682833872
airforce is easy, and gets better jobs
I would've loved to
Problem is that Ive got PTSD and Anxiety Seizures. (these were diagnosed at a REAL shrink, not by myself or someone on the internet) so I will not pass any tests when it comes to psychic evaluation.
It really sucks because Ive always wanted to be in the military. (swefag, Im not from the US).
>>682833872
already have.
ill hit my 12 year anniversary in 19 days.
>>682833872
Nope.
>>682834378
you go man
Shit I'm trying to not reenlist.
>>682834301
plz, it's no secret that the army has the lowest standards... not dissing the army or its mission, but a retarded ape can make it in
>>682833872
Already did but not in your faggot army SITFU
>>682834623
Says the neck beard
>>682834623
You're thinking Marines.
They wont take me, I want to invert my penis far too much.
i was on 4chan YEARS before i took early years work tbh this place keeps me up to scratch on safeguarding my guys!
im the bastard that digs in and finds out if a sick fucks touching them
just know the cops wont find you pre k teacher and student relationships are like uncle niece relationships you touch em you're gonna hurt!
you think they are gonna keep secrets but the truth is they share everything with trusted adults!
>>682833872
Already did... What a mistake..
>not navy
nigger please
>>682835012
>>682835523
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo
>>682835875
>>682833872
I already did, might re-up too
>>682835992
now listen here you underdeveloped underprivileged toaster strudel
I will personally slather gaijin goomba in barbeque sauce, and shove him so far up your ass you won't be able to pass out a silent fart for y e a r s.
I will make it to where he will have to feed of your shit tubes if u wanna get that saucy with me you meme loving fuck.
wanna take it to the next level then I'm shoving his big tittied plastic Mary sue girlfriend down your pie holio so you can feel that sweet release
>>682834728
but he's right
>>682837121
DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
GUESS AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER, JODY'S BANGING HER RIGHT NOW. DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 25 FOR EVERY TIME SHE GETS FUCKED THIS MONTH!!
DOWN ON YOUR FACE!!
>>682837699
Listen Jarhead, i sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
>>682838116
>jarhead
>army
pick one
>>682834079
Your education barely surpasses the preschool kids that you teach dipshit.
>>682833872
I wanted to, but asthma is no bueno in the eyes of the military. It's bullshit really, because i can outrun everybody i know.
>>682834127
Complains about organized crime while he spends half of his time smoking weed in his faggit buddies moms basement.
>>682838666
checkm
>>682833872
Prob won't let me even if I wanted to, schizo
>>682835875
Did you get your internet service ribbon
>>682834127
Faggot.
>>682834127
/Thread
>>682833872
If your not capable of lying at MEPS or to your recruiter you probably do not belong in the military.
>>682834127
>says he will not work as a peon for "legal" organized crime.
>IRL works as a waiter for less than minimum wage.
Your parents did a bang up job on you. I just wish the confused youth that joined the service had enough sense to look upto people like you instead of combat veterans.
>>682833872
Not unless it is the Russian military, America's army are jokes and shit for brain blokes. Plus I will be damned if I die for a nigger's war.
>>682834294
>Groundpounder
At least we don't pound other men
>>682834369
Typical answer. If you really wanted to join then you would've done what everybody else does who joins, and lie about every issue you have.
>>682833872
I'm an autist, so I can't enlist by law...
>>682840174
So who was your foxhole buddy and how good were the blowjobs?
>>682840173
Americas army seems to be the only one that is actually capable of both waging and winning a war.
>>682840173
FUCKING Russiaboo. You wouldn't last 10 minutes in their military.
>>682840123
>implying killing people for greedy 1 percenters is better than an honest days work as a waiter
>>682833872
>Those new uniforms
I liked the previous one better tbh
>>682840669
Fuck you faggot...
>>682833872
No. I'm not subhuman.
>>682840719
Except nobody is killing people for greedy one percenters fag. That is just something that you and your hippy friends talk about while smoking pot.
Explain to me how any war America has ever been involved in was waged on behalf of greedy one percenters dipshit.
What do you think that greedy one percenters were responsible for 9-11 and not the people that said they did it.
>>682834301
>Sorry, the Army doesn't issue fedoras.
I bet they issue real benefits for veterans amirite? Lets ask all those veterans!
>>682835523
>Posting a reservist
I'm guessing you don't count the guard as army, so don't bring USNR into this unless you want a fat person fight.
>>682841018
Yes you are you hippy fag. You dirty hippies should be required to get a license before you can speak in public.
>>682841018
>Hippies think the military is bad and marijuana is good.
>Hippies think the government should issue marijuana and free money to hippy.
>Hippy is cancer
>>682841191
Some of these people on /b/ won't even go AIR National Guard.
>>682841561
Nice strawman.
>>682841000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nU8GcCHjww
he's right though
>>682841018
I bet you wear sandals to work you worthless fucking shit stain on societies underpants.
>>682841295
I've scraped more important biological material than you and your baby burning chums off my boot.
>>682841115
It seems you do not understand how the world works.
>Explain to me how any war America has ever been involved in was waged on behalf of greedy one percenters dipshit.
Most of them have been, in pursuit of natural resources and under the guise of spreading "higher moral standards" such as democracy. The only reason to ever wage war is if people are being systematically killed by those in power. This is not the case in most wars that US has been a part of.
>What do you think that greedy one percenters were responsible for 9-11 and not the people that said they did it.
Never said that.
>>682837699
>She's cheating on you, Privates..... With your Dad... Roger?
- DS Garcia. One of the greatest dudes to ever live...
>>682841682
It's still common sense. tinfoil hat wearing hippy mother fuckers simply should not voice there opinion for no reason other than the fact that they are wrong. Not because they are hippies but because the beliefs that lie behind there logic are simply not correct.
>>682841600
that has to be a fuckin butter bar
also checkd
in the coming race war, we are all soldiers. Our race is our uniform.
what
side
YOU
on
?
I'm planning to comission as an officer once I'm out of college. Honestly I don't really know what my future will be like after the army and it kinda worries me. I'm aiming for 12a or 25a mos. i make my decision within the next week
If it wasn't for soldiers who are busy getting bits of themselves blown off by goat herders where would regular humans find trampy, unserviced wives to fuck and forget?
>>682833872
Ummmm, yeah, about that........ See, I got this thing that disqualifies me from service......
It's called a DD214... :D
>inb4doesntdisqualifyforreupping cuz I'm just being facetious.... And for my fellow Bravos, "facetious" basically means "being an asshole for the sake of comedy"
>>682842240
Hope there's an IED in your immediate future monkey boy.
>>682842308
Yeah can't argue that. I guess they deserve some recognition.
>>682842240
Samefag. I mean do ROTC while in college
>>682833872
no, being a warrior means putting your life on the line for a cause. being a soldier means dying when and where a bunch of old men tell you too because its convenient for them.
>>682842370
Being a decent human being disqualified me from service.
Type 1 diabetic. I wanted to join as a child. But got the flu and the infection fucked up my pancreas.
Fuck me god.
>>682840669
A few years ago was funny when people would complain about stealing oil and the 4$+ gas prices
>>682842437
There probably will be. Not too concerned because I dont really care for living too much anyways
>>682841955
They have not been for natural resources. No soldier in any way at any time with any equipment in the middle east stole any natural resources.
They would either have to physically move the oil or fraudulently acquire stocks in all of the oil companies but neither of them happened moron.
Go find one credible piece of evidence that America goes to war for natural resources and show it to me.
You are literally just making things up.
People were being slaughtered by bin laden and sadam. Where do you get your information from.
ets'd last friday. The best day of my life.
>>682841752
>>682841561
>>682841295
>>682841115
>>682838666
>>682841295
>I did something completely voluntary that sucked, and now I believe that everyone should have to do the same thing as me because my belief in what I did as being a high cause is the only thing that holds together what remains of my shattered psyche.
Hey, why don't you go check for IEDs behind your bedroom radiator again?
>>682835012
>>682842240
>>682842762
Holy shit. the level of your retardation is too damn high.
>>682842370
What's your RE code? If it's anything that doesn't start with a "4," you have no excuse.
Here's my experience from trying to join the Military at 18 years old.
>>Go into Marine recruiter office, tell him I want to join. Skinny haitian dude who barely speaks english.
>>He makes me watch an hour of Marine Corp history videos.
>>I go to the office at 3am the next day and his Sargeant drives us to MEPS.
>>Sargeant is mexi-dude, actually cool as fuck.
>>Take ASVAB with practically retarded dudes.
>>Sgt. is driving and says nobody gets their results until Gunny gets them.
>>Retard 1 got....40! (This test is graded on a curve, out of 100)
>>Retard one screams 'ALPHA ENLISTMENT YES' (I can't imagine someone who scored below 39 and got a beta status)
>>'Retard B got....61!'
>>Retard B 'FUCK YEARRR SEMPER FI'
>>'Anon got......91!'
>>Car goes silent and Sgt. goes into gas station to buy water for our ride back.
>>Sgt. leaves and the retard A starts grilling me about my SAT scores, and retard B is just staring at me in bewilderment because I could do high school level algebra.
>>Week later, go to MEPS again to get med tested. Me, 3 hispanic kids, 2 black kids and ONE other white boy. I had the second highest ASVAB score in the state, other white boy had the first. He's shipping, while we're doing med tests.
>>Get yelled at by MEPS civvies who think they're drill instructors. Laugh.
>>Med tests are fine, they can't swear me in because I was homeschooled, and they assumed I had a GED (I have a real diploma). They then said I needed 12 college credits to enlist. This was false, as I had a real diploma.
>>Went back and forth on that 5 times. 'You and your Dad need to write a letter saying that you were homeschooled, they need to be exactly the same.' 'THESE ARE THE SAME! They need to be different!'
>>Got accepted to internship in another city while this all went on, decided the military couldn't tell it's ass from a hole in the ground. Didn't enlist.
>>682840296
This. 100%
>>682833872
Wouldn't be accepted anyway; I'm flatfooted, tons of medical allergies (everything with penicillin, cephalosporins), both my knees are blasted (torn MCL on the left, patellar dislocation on right)
>>682842497
Your definition of warrior and soldier are not correct.
>>682842762
>They have not been for natural resources. No soldier in any way at any time with any equipment in the middle east stole any natural resources.
>They would either have to physically move the oil or fraudulently acquire stocks in all of the oil companies but neither of them happened moron
You realize that the soldiers are nothing but pawns, right? They don't get shit for what they do, except "patriotic" feelings and a few salutes at their funeral. It's the big businesses that lobby politicians that get the rights to build oil wells.
>>682842504
You really think a lot of yourself, don't you?
Tell me, what have you done to make the world a better place, besides bitch and moan for free shit at Bernie rallies?
>>682833872
Went in to enlist in the navy and go into their nuclear propulsion program. Got denied because of ADHD even though I was off meds for a year.
Now I'm going to college and once I graduate i'll try again and not even mention ADHD.
>>682841000
>waaaah the truth hurts
Unless you shave 200 pounds no military will take your fat weeaboo ass.
Kill yourself.
>>682842980
>I did something voluntary to experience life from a different perspective.
> I believe that most people that speak out against the US military do so on completely false and groundless claims. In reality there are plenty of reasons to do so, yet the only time people do Is in what is almost complete falsehood.
>What I did is considered honorable in present and historical times.
>I am a healthy and efficiently functioning member of society.
You on the other hand are probably a drug addict.
>>682843527
Well I'm certainly no Jesus, but once a week I take a few hours out of my day to help cook for the homeless in my city. What do you do, sir?
>>682843079
The rest of the .mil isn't quite as retarded as the Corps..... But, the .mil these days sure ain't what it used to be... Political correctness has soaked into it as well. So, you either become a stupid hard-ass dipshit Marine, or a pussy pantywaist everywhere else.... Even my beloved Army Infantry has become weakened and pacified by political correctness... >:\
>pic unrelated
>>682843527
What have soldiers since 1945 done to make the world a better place? Most problems in the middle-east are caused by military action of foreign countries. Even a high ranking ex-general of US military has publicly confessed that the rise of terrorist groups such as al-qaida and isis is due to US intervention. Even Saddam wasn't as bad as the situation in there is now.
So my wife can fuck my neighbour while I'm out getting shot for her ass?
So i can get cast out onto the street when my war-induced injuries and PTSD render me unable to function in society?
So college students can spit on me and call me a murderer?
All the while having the same pay and health benefits as a fucking burger flipper?
FUCK
NO
>>682844058
Not defending the US or anything, but god knows the middle east was already a shit hole since the middle ages. When you have two branches of Islam fighting each other, and fanatical retards rinning around, no dictator, no matter how strong, will always be able to maintain stability. That's the unfortunate reality.
I was going to since I'm basically a fuck up with zero ambition, even though I know the militaries purpose is to serve the interests of the oligarchy. I don't really care about that, and most people really don't beyond arguing their position on the internet even though a very slim minority are ever convinced.
Kinda just wanted something new, like another interesting chapter in my life, where I got to explore how another facet of the world actually functioned, even at the risk of death because who cares, I'd either reincarnate as a wombat, be completely annihilated, or have my consciousness manifest itself as a hyper-dimensional space lizard, all of which are pretty neat.
I decided against it though because I'm lazy and would get annoyed by most of the pigheaded grunts in there that are genuinely in it for patriotic glory like a fucking idiot.
>>682843834
>You on the other hand are probably a drug addict.
Tell yourself that, if it makes you feel better about yourself, chief. Also, don't forget to check for IEDs under your bed tonight :-*
>>682844432
The VA system is right fucked. Retard politicians on both sides need to be replaced
>>682840296
Dumbest shit Ive heard.
They check medical records. Lying wont get me far. They will never allow someone with PTSD to serve.
>>682844053
I wanted to go as 0300, basic rifleman. Recruiter kept trying to get me to do Aviation Mechanic (He probably got a bonus if he signed me as that, they said they'd give me $10k tax free cash after tech school if I did)
Only the Sgt, who I believe is now a SSgt, had his head on straight. Told me to do what the fuck I wanted, and it takes more intelligence to know how to handle stressful situations than to solve an equation.
Oh, and Gunny wouldn't stop fucking pestering me about Jesus. Loved him some Jesus.
I plan on doing a 1C2X1 in the Air Force. Army just ain't for me bro.
>>682833872
I would only work in the defense of my country
No guarantee that some corrupt politician won't send send me to another country and attack them and steal their land and resources.
I refuse to take part in that.
>>682833872
Im already enlisted in the navy faggot I ship Dec 12
>>682845724
You can go Guard.
>>682845832
Very nice. At least you're doing something.
>>682846064
im Going to be a MMS So it will definitely be an experience
>>682846664
Lmfao! You're gonna be a shop mechanic...have fun with the bitch work and no leave...
