How and why do you end a relationship of more than 5 years?
Give a /b/rother some food for thought.
It was unfulfilling and I was bored with it. Fancied a change to be honest. That was my GF of two years.
When she escapes from you dungeon and gets the cops to arrest you
>>682826101
The chemical part of love fades after 2-3 years. That's when you get to know whether you really are interested in each other or not as life partners.
Because monogamy is unnatural.
By explaining that fact
>>682826101
Just make sure you fuck her one more time.
>>682826101
Get back to bed, Jason.
>>682826358
Few words yet very accurate, tell some more of how you did it please. And still 2 years isnt nearly as much as 5-10
>>682826527
And that last time, cum in her vagina.
>>682826358
Exactly the same for me. I just up and left my GF of 7 years. Moved out, saw her once and talked a little haven't seen her since. About 4 months ago. No regrets
>>682826527
I am having a debate with myself wether to do it at all
>>682826951
How old are you? And how hot are you?
>>682826101
I KEK'D AT THIS IMAGE
>>682826884
But don't tell her that you did, so the next guy she is with thinks that is his child >:)). Actually your offspring... raised by others, so you can make more!
>>682826928
7 yrs damn, was it mutual eventually or she went hysteric?
>>682827023
Mid 20s and probably average as in not bad nor exceptionally hot. My face is good tho
>>682826101
I'm on the verge of breaking up with my gf, 5 yr together. The date is set, till then we just live together in one room rented flat.
Nevermind all those virgins claiming "eat her pussy then gtfo", anon.
Tell me. What's wrong with your relationship? I'm having troubles in mine too, been for a while, but I'm not a quitter.
>>682827497
Whats the reason? Generally what would you consider good reasons which are justifying giving up many years history
>>682827169
She pretty much went hysteric, she had been talking about kids and marriage and shit. I was never into that. I miss her sometimes, but I'm still feeling good about it
>>682827454
break it off if you're not happy. Everyone deserves to be happy
>>682827783
Its many manifestations but the core reason the same: i grew up to be a responsible and hard working person in order to reach my life plan, and she didnt. She is practically dragging me down now. Tell me about yourself
>>682828035
'Everyone deserves to be happy' resonates well with me
>>682828267
I believe that talk we're given that girls are more mature than boys is BS. What's up with your girl, exactly?
About my case, short story, but you know how in certain movies there's that guy who spends too time much at work, gets home and even though he really loves his family he is too tired for anything? That was me 2 years ago. It's in the past now, but she never really got over it, and I don't blame her.
>>682829014
Lazy, unambitious, stuck professionally in a spot she hates and i hate even more and doesnt do anything about it. Same goes to physical fitness and overall she made some dedications in the past that she doesnt hold up to. A year ago i said to her in a very dramatic discussion that i CANNOT go on like that. Yesterday it struck me out of nowhere that in 1 year nothing changed
>>682829671
And since im at it already: by now i dont even feel any desire to help her, i like her becsuse of the history i suppose, but i dont value her highly as a human and partner
>>682828455
Yeah, go for it. You'll be bitter holding on to a relationship that does nothing for you
>>682829671
Breaking up is rough, it sucks having to make someone you loved and probably still respect sad and upset. But you'll probably both be better off in the long run
>>682830046
Yea i know itll be rough, but thats not the only thing, getting to know new people is also a little scary, first and only gf.
>MFW whe I agree to enter relationship with bestie
>first 5 months are amazballz.
>Virgin pudge bff is 3rd best lay ever
>Month 4 sex trails off
>Month 5 and I'm considering suicide
Ugh, break up is going to be the messiest catastrophe ever, but I know I have to do it eventually
>>682829671
Some people grow up and really don't see time pass by them, I have seen friends go that way, ending up like that. I believe you have tried talking her out of her laziness and her bad job. What's her side of the story? I mean, did she ever tell you why she's lazy or why she doesn't feel like working out for her man or changing jobs?
>>682830647
The sooner the better righ? You reaaly dont want good memories when breaking up. Its crushing
>>682830555
Yeah it is. I met my gf when I was 17, broke it off at 24 years old. Meeting new people was scary at first, bet gets easier. Now I really enjoy it
>>682826358
Hey me...
mind telling the story?
>>682826101
simple, i gave her 2 years and 6 chances to stop fucking drinking & get a job.
She didn't, infact so much so I saved a 10 year old bottle of Pinoit Noir and she chugged 3/4 of the bottle no questiones asked... so i fucked a milf like a bitch and really ended the realtionship with a lasting message: you want to do nothing? you wanna be nothing other than a sad drunk when hes the only one working to make us work?? well your partner could always do better of you want to be nothing. so there ya go enjoy. nothing
>>682831126
that's the worst part, I have to stay with her at least another couple of months. I can't break up with her before I go to EDC in june
>MFW surrounded by molly rave chicks and tryin' not to cheat
Daily reminder.
It's bad to never have found love, but it's worse to find it and then feel like it's gone.
>>682831118
Its just a constant 'i know' and 'you can point it ou in nicer ways' and when she notices it without me poking its 'why am i so lazy??' And basically nothing else. I think she is mentally overwhelmed and would be happier in some simple fun job rather than her degree, even if she says its not true. It looks like cant handle constantly putting effort into her life unless its fun
Its reaally dragging me down. I was really stuck few years ago and it took hard work to become a capable man that gets shit done.
I've been with my GF for 8 years, I was 14 when we got together, I'm now 22.
I don't even know if I want this anymore. She's never been with another guy, and I've never been with another girl.
Bur that's just the thing, if I did split up with her I wouldn't even know where to start. Like I can speak to other girls all the time, but on a sexual and intimate level I would feel so unconfident. And like, imagine if she fucked another guy and he was better than me
I've grown up with her and I know nothing else, it feels strange to move on
>>682826101
If you are not happy just do it, people tend to feel some sort of compromise to the other person, cause of money, favors, friends etc etc. but if you stay whit some one you dont lover anymore it can be a codependent realtionship, and you gonna end up hating her instead of fucking her once in a while by just ended up being friends win/win
>>682826459
Found the single virgin faggot.
>>682832098
theres always gonna be somebody better skilled than you at everything. Deal with it.
sexual inadequacy stems from poor self-esteem. most times girls dont even care, its the principle that shes with someone she trusts enough to let you put your cock in her hole.
>>682832475
But still, when I find out someone has fucked her, and most probably before I fuck someone else, it will be strange
>>682832098
Op here, i was like you without confidence few years ago (see post where i say i couldnt get shit done). Now i feel pretty confident and can flirt even, even if im not the king of it, im human after all
And still it scares me. What if i get unlucky? Stayunhappy? Will it be better than in this 'stuck' relationship?
>>682832191
You know I used to think like that when I was single, like "if it doesn't work out anymore, break up". I can even mention my parents relationship as an example, they haven't worked out in almost 20 years yet they're still together.
But when you love someone, you understand that it's a little more complicated than that. You don't want to suffer, but you still love the other person and you want them to be good for you, because you really love them, and wouldn't stand letting them go. Love is quite complicated just as it's simple.
>>682832828
Wrong post reply:
>>682832098
>>682832787
I don't think I'd have a problem pulling a girl, I just would't know what I'm doing is right.
Plus, as you mentioned, should I actually leave this relationship or not, would I be happier? I have no idea
>>682827783
10 year fag here still going strong no complaints from either party
What's wrong in yours?
>>682832740
>>but still
you are putting too much forethough on a minute issue that is neither tangible or worth stressing over. most women are lying about their sexual partner numbers due to factors such as levels of contact, the `bases` scale or just because they fear the label `whore`
>>682832055
Perhaps she's putting her effort in the wrong ways. Is it final, though? I mean, even if she magically changed her ways to be a better and more mature person, would you still think of leaving?
>>682832828
Exactly, I know I love her and probably always will. But would my life be better without her, should I experiment with other girls since I have never before, am I missing anything?
It's not easy to just say bye to someone you've been with almost everyday for most your life, no matter how much you dislike them at a given time
>>682832740
Jealousy is unnatural and harmful, strive towards ridding yourself of it. Nothing good can come from it
>>682833107
I for one am a lot happier being single. It feels hard to leave someone behind, but good to shed deadweight
>>682833107
Your last line has been bugging me reaaly badly 24/7 for 2 days. So far my conclusion is: 1 life - go out there and discover it, i dont want to miss on anything just cause this bad relationship feels comfy
>>682826101
Am I the only one who entered cuz of the amazing tattoo?
>>682833245
What, your're implying she's fucking someone else?
>>682826101
read goodnight punpun
>>682833478
Exactly my thoughts, but what happens if we really did have it good, and we didn't realise what we had until its too late, until they move on with someone else?
>>682833478
>don't miss out on anything cause your bad relationship is comfy
completely different guy from any posters in this thread but holy fuck, today was my year and a half and honestly what am i doing, i let so many good ones go
>>682833542
OMG seriously anon, who the fuck knows??
Your insecurity is showing... bad thing to bleed in the waters when sharks are near.
>>682833292
Well, by now im so unsatisfied that im beginning to think missing on possible exciting flirts etc is too good to miss. If she magically got BEYOND my expectations and stsrted boosting me ahead in life, then i would stay maybe
>>682833438
>should I experiment with other girls since I have never before, am I missing anything?
I'm not really inclined to be the type of person who tells what other should do, but you must know that once you cross that line, there's no turning back. She's wrong for being lazy, but you'll be even more wrong for cheating on her. You will have forever defiled your relationship, and even if she never finds out, you will always know.
>>682833171
See:
>>682829014
she cheated on me, but im glad she did, moved on and found someone skinnier and better in bed. she was turning into a land whale and i was too blinded by love to see it. mistakes made but not irreversible
>>682833841
So what if I have insecurity, we all do, it shows we're human. If you say you don't you're lying
>>682833886
I would never cheat on her, what I mean is, if we split up
With my gf of 9 months and like every girlfriend I've ever had around this period I feel bored, maybe it's just something I have to break through
I love her but all I can think about is other women, but I can't imagine breaking up with her and seeing her face because she's so sweet and loyal
>>682831573
Wtf? Definitely break up before EDC dude, rave sluts are fucking crazy, hook up with tons.
>>682834070
As someone who grew watching too many Disney movies, I believe that the first love is always the only love.
>>682826101
take it from an old man: unless you are going to have children, fuck whomever you want. Long term relationships are only for the truly devoted.
>>682834290
thanks man
>>682826928
No regerts!
>>682834290
can't tell if you're serious and autistic or not
And how about the other question in OP? How to end a relationship that is on good terms, no real fights or other excuses?
>>682826101
Honestly? We got bored of each other, nothing was really fun it was just meh, we grew more and more apart until we just looked at each other and knew neither of us really wanted to be in that relationship.
>>682834246
help me anons, the relationship is near perfect, but i'm just bored. i get sex whenever i want, food, but i just feel too young to keep this up and get married one day.
>>682835084
My problem is she is naive and doesnt see it. It, no I would crush her.
>>682835114
Think if she is good and you the issue its simple: you work for it or not. Get her rewards or not, question of effort
>>682835114
If you love her, why do you look to other women?
>>682832098
>>682832475
>>682832740
>>682833439
>>682833841
This actually really helped me. Especially >>682833439
The breakup I went through recently has lingered pretty hard on me. We were our first sexual partners, and the thought of her fucking anyone else (which I know she is; its an arts and communications college) drove me mad.
I just gotta let her go and know there'll be another beautiful woman out there.
>>682835581
I'm making it work at the moment, but I just feel tired like I can't keep it up any longer at the moment.
>>682835610
Because for a start I'm a sick pervert but she doesn't know, and I just get bored of one partner, I like the excitement of talking to different girls
>>682826884
terrible idea.
>>682836069
are you me
>>682836069
If you love her, keep your loyalty. Do it for her.
Dear anons who have faced many feels:
Just HOW do you break up with an unsuspecting woman? One you still dont want to see hurt
>>682826101
Carefully explain the reason why the relationship is no longer working for you, endure the bitch fit, and walk out.
Make sure to separate your assets beforehand.
>>682836343
maybe, i live a double life on the internet, i have a lot of friends and i'm a decent looking guy, but i'd rather stay inside every day on the internet looking at semi legal porn and browsing 4chan
>>682836425
staying loyal isn't the main problem really because i've been challenged before and i've always kept my loyalty, it's just impossible to get rid of the bored feeling, not just sexually. when i'm with her i'd rather be at home. but i do love her, it just depresses me to love her
>>682836690
Let her know how you feel about her personally. Tell her all about how wonderful she is and how the breakup won't change the fact that she's a great person.
The key is to make her know that she's wanted and lovely - blah blah, it's not her, it's you.
>>682836891
I'm aware btw i might sound retarded, but it's just my feelings mayn
>>682835856
Yeah anon, you get it. Take your time. It gets better, especially if you find someone new
>>682836690
There is unfortunately absolutely no way do break up with someone and not hurt her. You'll feel like an asshole, but it's the only way. Be honest and tell her exactly how you feel
>>682836998
She wont buy it, but probably only option really
>>682835856
my first girlfriend fucked my friend and the whole town, i just got over it over time and realised she wasn't the same person
>>682836891
>it's just impossible to get rid of the bored feeling
There's your problem. Try doing with her what you have fun doing alone. Go on a trip together, try something new, get her to know you better, and you get to know her better. Make sex more spicy. You have what it takes to have a great relationship. And trust me, it's really worth it.
>>682836690
It's impossible. Can't you stay with her?
>>682826101
OP a lot o relationship happiness is about your thinking. When all you can think about is how much they annoy you or don't challenge you etc its only going to eat you up inside and get worse. I've been in a 10 year relationship that at times I doubted it was "enough" Shes a 7-8/10 and I might have done better there, but she also brings me joy every day and thinks like a bro not a messed up bundle of emotions like some chicks.
>>682836069
are you yourself around her or do you have to constantly put on an effort to please her?
>>682836891
i was supposed to date a different girl but this other girl im dating now swooped me away, sometimes i wish i was still with the one that got away, she got a boyfriend now, does she still think about me?
>>682826101
When the bitch decides she's gay and cheats on you with 2 women
>>682837372
Fuck, that's what I realized. Who I dated is not the same person as the woman who left me.
>>682837517
I don't really do much for fun though, my life is boring at the moment
>>682837557
we are both ourselves personality wise around each other, we make each other laugh and can be weird as fuck etc. but there's still a side of me i don't want to show her, or anyone, because like i said earlier i have a 'double life' on the internet
>>682837636
do not understand
>>682837993
i removed her on all forms of social media, and she still follows me because she wants to be my friend, but i just destroyed my old image of her in my head and now when i hear about her i feel nothing, i could probably say hi to her and not feel anything at this point. this was 2 years ago now though
>>682838283
Then perhaps it's not her, it's you who has been bored with yourself. Better check that out, make sure it's not depression or something.
>>682838283
does the one that got away think of me time to time anon?
I grew out of you, sounds harsh but its true 6 year relationship here she was in her own world and never changed and I did.
>>682838396
that's a very valid point and if i was in a better mental state then maybe i'd feel fine, thanks dude. no question about it i'm fucked up in some way, not just related to relationships.
>>682838412
possibly, my ex girlfriend still wants to be friends with me from 2 years ago after she broke up with me
>>682838283
Double life? unless you're talking about running drugs or being a pedo it might not be as big a problem as you think. I hesitated telling my girl about this place for a while worrying she would get scared. Then I found out she was into tentacle hentai and she was just as worried about me finding out.
Keeping your relationships shallow will do exactly that, keep them shallow. You won't develop the deep bonds that come from letting people in. Getting bored after the "honeymoon" phase is pretty much guaranteed if you don't get close in that time.
What if it was a bad relationship but it would be extremely hard to find somebody new up to my standards? I am very picky, need her to be intelligent and educated and be unshakable in her life plan. Not just some hot bimbo.
Then again my current isnt unshakeable and super sharp thinker either
>>682826101
So you don't keep wasting your life. I blew my last 10 child bearing years on people who weren't ever going anywhere and deep down I knew it.
>tell her straight
>get her and her shit out
>feel good? good.
>feel bad? drugs and booze
>????
>funds increased
>>682838835
I do weed and other drugs secretly and i'm pretty sure i'm bisexual in denial. the thing is, my girlfriend is very vanilla and naive, she isn't into stuff weird stuff, not even buttsex. yeah maybe it is shallow, but it feels deeper than my other relationships at this point
>>682839132
Fuck man, i knew it deep down too. Fuck fuck. I gotta do it even if theres no happyness insurance afterwards.
>>682839410
But you still love her, right?
>>682839410
>I gotta do it even if theres no happyness insurance afterwards.
Most everything good but hard works this way
anybody in this thread saying "well dont you love her, if you do dont leave her, problem solved!" have not been in a relationship for more than six months in there life
>>682839299
damn this thread is deep but it's nice to actually talk to some people even on anon
>>682839533
Whats love? Jelly in stomach feeling? No. Care for her to not to be hurt? Yes. Feel wonderful when i see her after coming home? No. Really enjoy constant company of somebody who knows me well? Yes.
Do i love her?
>>682829671
It's definitely time to end it then. Just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship with a girl two weeks ago, feeling so much better now. Cried and felt sad/angry for a week but then realized that I'm not being held down anymore in my choices of who I can talk to, where I can eat, or even feeling guilty about wanting to occasionally look at porn (she never wanted me to look at it which is bullshit).
If you feel like she isn't willing to change after you've had talks about it, then you have to eventually accept that you're mature enough to change but she isn't, and sadly nothing will make her change. You just have to move on anon.
>>682839804
you love her you just know you gotta let it go for your sake
>>682839804
>>682839299
I'm this guy, and you just explained my feelings perfectly. When I look in her eyes I see her beauty, but I don't get butterflies. I can't imagine her crying after me breaking her heart, it would break my heart. But I like sharing and being close with someone, not in a selfish way though
>>682829671
>>682831118
my girlfriend just broke up with me because of these reasons. ive fallen in a hole where i just dont care about me anymore. id hoped she would give me motivation to crawl out of it, but she just left me. i feel a bit betrayed, since i helped her with all my might to get over her problems.
>>682839299
my girl was a virgin and hadn't thought about any of that stuff either. I educated her. A vanilla girl is just a blank slate to work your magic on. Just the other day I was ramming it in her ass cos she was begging for it, and she told me she never would have imagined this 10 years ago.
As for being BI, who knows maybe you could work your way into some threesomes. It's not like you have much to lose if you see your relationship stagnant anyway.
Drug stuff I can't speak for, your best bet would be to find out what she thinks of weed etc. She's hardly going to call the cops on you for that.
>>682833542
It doesn't matter if she is. The only reason it should be mattering to you is if you want to be with her again, but if you're breaking up with her then you should accept that you won't ever be with her again, and find the negatives of the relationship so you understand why you two shouldn't be together.
>>682839747
only reason i'm here these days, /b/ is 99% bullshit 1% pure gold you can't get anywhere else. people filter everything they say when they have an identity, here you get people being real.
>>682840051
But i do constantly tell her the issues and the ways to solve them, just that she never works on it for very long.
Did your girl leave you without those warnings? Maybe you underestimated them, i think my girl doesnt realize the importance of those issues. Even when i say that i am disgusted by --describe person with similar behaviors to hers--
>>682833997
I dont insecurity
>>682836069
Nothing wrong with being perverted and wanting different sex acts, if she's not willing to do them with you then you're probably building up a resentment in you that makes you want to be with other women. Or maybe she's missing something that you desperately crave, these thoughts don't ever go away unless you personally make the change to want them gone. If they aren't going to go away for you then you're better off being single rather than building up a resentment and ruining your relationship later on.
>>682840560
Sounds wrong to force feed somebody who is starving right?
>>682840405
mine is a virgin, i've brought up stuff like anal, she's not horrified by it but just says she isn't interested in it.
I've been in denial for a long time, and I'm still not ready to accept it or come out to anyone, but it's just something in the back of my head really.
She knows I smoked weed in the past, but she says she doesn't like it when I was with her so I told her I stopped. I started again a bit after in secret with my brother and some very close friends, sometimes by myself. She'd kill me if she found out. i love drugs though, maybe that's a reason, because i feel held back by her
>>682826101
>How and why do you end a relationship of more than 5 years?
Because this is YOUR life, not hers... You do whatever the fuck you want really
Hell if you are at this point it's most likely because of being burdened by her for a plethora of reasons
>Give a /b/rother some food for thought.
Like i said above, if you aren't happy in this anymore, quit it
I don't give a motherfuck about your memories, moments or whatever the fuck makes your brain send tingles to your pee pee about her
You've had enough? End it now, don't rationalize it in your head. It's about your own wellbeing, not hers
If she is happy to have you by her sides because she's miserable and doesn't do shit to better herself, give a her a hard lesson, kick her ass to the curb(metaphorically speaking)
Thing is most people are full of shit and chicks/women in general aren't worth shit in the literal sense of the term
Be happy and free, dump her and start living
If you're a conscious being living for experiences instead of being bound by unnecessary bullshit, you should've already known
feel the same, kinda sticky situation but loong story short.
im 19 been together with this girl for past 3 years now, lived together for 2 of them, and we now got a son thats 7 weeks old, she is always picky and we are arguing 6 times every week because she thinks im a lazy something. And it feels like i'm together with my mom. im also dealing with depressions so beeing together with her and being picked on is fucking me up slowly. idk what the fuck to do so please help. will give more info if needed and btw sorry for my shitty english
>>682840773
thanks dude, i'll think about what you've said
>>682839299
Nothing wrong with liking weed or being bisexual, if these things aren't cool with your girlfriend then you're going to build up guilt/resentment constantly when you aren't able to smoke or try out sexual stuff over time.
>>682840943
What will be your choice: weed or love?
>>682840038
that doesn't mean you don't love her. This is why it took me years to propose to my girlfriend. One time I actually told her I don't feel that fireworks disney love for her and it nearly broke her heart. It nearly ended us before all the people around her kept reminding her of all the great things ive done for her and how much she means to me and we both realised it was just different to the movies and books for me.
Is she a great friend
does she "get" you.
is she there for you when you aren't at your best
does she care for your feelings more than her comfort.
even if she sucks in bed does she try as hard as she can.
All of these are qualities you want in a partner and from yourself too. If you have a few its worth working on and if you have them all hold tight and don't let go.
>>682841010
No problem, I literally just had this issue with my previous girlfriend of three and a half years amongst other things, I felt guilty if I ever came across porn on /b/ and eventually I snapped. Told her I need to look at it occasionally, but she wouldn't budge, so we needed to end it, and honestly I feel much happier now since I shouldn't be policed on what I do if it isn't harming anybody.
>>682840969
Maybe i only recently became conscious, at the start of the relationship i didnt have my shit together
>>682841008
You had a kid too early, is what ya did.
Let me tell you something, boy. If you do everything in your power to make sure that kid grows up smart, healthy, loved, and out of poverty, she will respect you. Maybe not love you, and maybe not now, but in time she will respect you.
Don't fight with her in front of the baby.
If you need to separate, do it.
Just remember that whatever you're doing for the baby is never enough.
You're doing this for the baby, not her, because your child is beautiful.
>>682841140
>>682841127
>>682841395
It's just that I do resent her because I feel like I shouldn't have to choose between weed and love, people have told me before that I have to choose,but I just want both
>>682841279
yeah, she is all of them really apart from a few disagreements on drugs. thanks.
>>682840943
Nothing wrong with weed/anal, if you two can't be compatible on those topics and you still want to do them both then you'll eventually just build resentment and start to lose the loving feelings you have towards her. Either you stop wanting those things of your own free will (so you don't feel resentful because its "for her") or she accepts that you like those then you may be better off single.
>>682841279
Yes to almost all, BUT she is still dragging me down, i want to be successful see the world, she wants to be comfy doing easy shit
>>682826101
>How and why do you end a relationship of more than 5 years?
Kek, relationshit? Do you know where you are, friendo?
>>682841140
Easy: weed
Love starts within, not into relationships
Weed has a growth cycle
Therefore needs legit tender care and you win out of the process
With women, it's quite exactly the opposite
>>682841594
Well in life you can't always have both. Sometimes you have to give something to win something. Tell me, in 20 years, do you imagine still doing weed, or do you imagine yourself with her, perhaps some kids, a good house and all that?
This day will come, mind you, you better make sure you take the choice you won't regret.
>>682841424
Define conscious then i'll tell you if you are
You seem stuck in guilt
>>682841594
Just my opinion but I agree, you shouldn't have these huge ultimatums in a relationship that "we can't be happy/together if you're using weed/porn/some other harmless thing". I understand if someone has pedophiliac thoughts or does meth however since that stuff can seriously ruin you.
>>682841653
>>682841839
thanks for the advice, i'm going to be thinking about it for a while
>>682842039
No problem man good luck,
>>682826101
bitch gets fat, you tell her that she is a fatass.
yell at her "OINK OINK OINK" as she leaves.
>>682841589
hmm I kinda understand about what you mean with having a kid to early, but thing is i grew up way to fast in my opinion. But i'm trying to do everything in my power so my little boy can have it great, but I get so fucking unhappy when my gf is naging and telling me how she wants me to be at everything, so I escape kinda often.. like not everyday and all day, but I have a tendence to go out and hang with friends ever now and then to get some room for myself, because of my gf is lame.
>>682840943
baby steps with the sex acts. I started by waiting till she was horny then licked her ass while going down on her. I would always grab her ass while fucking but started putting my finger on her asshole too. It would get me off much faster as I'm a butt man so she knew how much it turned me on. Over time I included more and more while giving her orgasms so she would grow to enjoy it.
end result is rather than having to "convince" her to give up the ass the first time I fucked her ass she actually asked for it. When I wanted to encourage more anal play years later I bought her plug tails and those jeweled plugs too. Bitches love shiny things.
As for the weed, don't know how you can reconcile such a strong hatred of drugs. you can keep it a secret but her finding out on her own is worse than you telling her you want to do it occasionally with friends.
>>682842279
>im a buttman
kek
>>682841839
Only problem with people is that people can change quite easily. So you know her super well now and get along with her great, then some traumatic event happens or just simply events over time, meeting new people/hearing new ideas and views on life and you two don't get along well anymore. The good relationships are the ones where this doesn't happen or you are both willing to compromise and work together over the years, not the ones that are amazing at this moment in time.
I am not underweight but really thin, how hard is it to find a match that wont run based on appearance?
>>682842445
im skinny as fuck, shitty teeth and bad acne but managed too pull a 7/10 viet girl, so no its not that hard tbh just dont be a social autist
>>682840560
>>682840921
she told me like 5 times to improve ("you should study more") but that didnt really help me. i would have liked if she invited me over to learn or something like that. i know my beheaviour sucks and im just rotting away, but it would be nice to have somebody help you stand up instead of just saying "stand up"
>>682841424
Trust me man the other anon who replied is right, you may have had amazing memories and a great relationship but if it's not that way anymore, you need to accept that. It most likely will not change or go back to being amazing sadly, but it's just the way that life is. Accept that one or both of you are at fault for why you aren't happy and move on if needed.
>>682842594
Nice, i am the type that basically cares mostly about her being smart, and her hair. Bitch gotta have great hair
>>682842878
>5 times over ~3years
>>682842878
Yea i tell her 5 times a week, think we are talking different dimensions
>>682826101
How: You've spent 5+ years with the person, unless there's a glaring reason, i.e infidelity, then you owe it to them to be totally honest about why you've made the decision to leave. If it's something that can be fixed, like a lack of communication or differing attitudes, it can be worth trying to work on the relationship first.
Why: Growing apart, especially if your circumstances have changed since your relationship began, i.e careers, growing up, moving away from friends etc. Finding certain incompatibilities increasingly hard to overcome as you head toward a long-term future. Problems getting worse as the relationship progresses, like constant arguments, or selfish behaviour, etc. Or even just getting bored, the unfortunate truth is that there's millions of other possibilities out there and if someone isn't entirely satisfied with the relationship they might just want to move on...
If it's you considering ending the relationship, think long and hard about if it's something you really want, or if you're reacting to short term pressures, like external stresses impacting your relationship. A good idea is to give the relationship a weeks thought for every year spent in it. If at the end of that period you still feel the same, you probably won't change your mind in the future.
If you're being broken up with, just remember that there must have been a fundamental flaw with the relationship. Don't mourn the loss of a 'perfect' relationship, because if it ended it probably didn't exist. If you were the problem, try to find out where you went wrong and learn from that in the future. If they were the problem, look out for that flaw in future relationships as a warning sign. But ultimately it's likely to be a combination of both.
Either way, hope you're doin okay.
>>682841696
Having very different life plans sounds pretty bad. My wife just got qualified as a yoga instructor. shes been working admin and technical jobs for years but it gave her no joy. Now If I travel overseas for work she can still follow me and do her cruisey job there too.
If you can come up with a plan to both be satisfied you can make it work. But if she doesn't want to do shit and you want to do everything one of you is going to lose, and it will probably be you.
Dump her so you can realize what love is again.
>>682843310
Great advice.
>>682843310
This post gave me a very satisfying feeling.
>>682843310
This man has a good heart and mind.
Thank you all you anons being more helpful and less judgemental than anyone irl... Is this really b
>>682843310
I bawwed for the first time in a long while, thinking about how much I've overcome, how much she has been there for me & how much I cannot seem to return the love I know I feel for her.
Your post made me feel so ok. Not good, but ok. Like everything is ok, whatever happens.
I really appreciate you posted that, man.
"There's gold in the rivers, and diamonds in the mud"
>>682843323
Ok how about a plot twist: the actual trigger for me thinking so seriously about ending it is that i went out with some friends and i really liked this one girl treating me nicely, hell she wouldve flirted if i returned the signs but i stuck to being fair and had neutral responses. But i really liked her out of sll the other girls.
Does this change anything? Im still unhappy with the motivation issues my gf has, thats the reason, right?
>>682845405
Just felt really bad feeling bound from doing anything AND getting no reward when i get home cuz my gf is lazy and draining me of life joy
>>682843310
Not Op, but thanks man.
>>682845405
>>682845765
Anyone else been in the situation they realize what they want only after meeting somebody else?
>>682826101
you realize the person you're with after all this time is no longer the person you fell in love with
either you changed or they did
>>682846538
I definetly changed, completely, i used to be the laziest fuck now i enjoy work.
Thats a reason that wont cause me regrets then?
>>682846832
the best reason to leave a relationship is if you're just not happy in it. if that's the case, then sure.
doesn't mean you won't have regrets, though. if you ever loved her, you're gonna miss her a little bit. and worry about how she's doing. no, i wouldn't say any break-up has a guarantee of no regrets. but if you're not happy, it's better in the long run.
>>682846441
hey nigger.
When I was 4 years into my relationship (3 years living together), I started my new job. At the job, there was this girl which seemed to have exactly the things I was missing in my relationship. She was in a relationship too and we got flirty. I got more and more sad with my relationship. But I stuck through it and now I am incredibly happy I did. Still with the same gf, love her above all and, most importantly, now I see clear that that other girl isn't all roses either, and her bad sides are worse than the bad sides of my gf.
My point is, however good your relationship is, you will ALWAYS meet other girls which you think are better because you're not seeing their bad sides just yet.
>>682846441
A lot of the time you can stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons. This is particularly true when you're afraid of being alone, or the belief that there's little hope for you outside the relationship.
This fear can be alleviated when you meet somebody else, reminding you that love and relationships are not concepts exclusive with your current partner.
It's also true that we judge our situations through comparison. Especially in long term relationships the opportunity for comparison is limited as your social life and circle tends to shrink. Having the opportunity to compare your situation, by experiencing happiness outside the relationship, can in comparison shine a light on how unhappy you truly are.
It's worth taking some time to consider though whether you're not just overwhelmed by the exciting novelty of the new situation, rather than being made aware of your unhappiness with the present.
As long as you make steps to remove yourself from your current relationship before embarking on a new one, there is no reason to be ashamed by these feelings, as no one will get unnecessarily hurt.
>>682847238
Thats a very helpful post thanks. I will focus on the real reasons at hand and not on the pretty distractions
I think im running on 3 years right now, neither of us have cheated. It's crazy, this is the one girl (out of maybe 20) that I felt comfortable around... We always forget how long we have been dating and plus, we've been living with eachother for quite some time now.
I've been down nearly every road with women and the one I have now is a real person. None of this "nothings wrong" bullshit, we tell eachother how it is... we've never hit eachother either
as for the folks that say "I realized what I wanted after we started dating", you are stupid.... thats called lust.
There have been plenty of opportunities for me to get with girls but my experience allows me to vividly imagine how my life would turn out with that person.
idk... im rambling at this point.... im gonna get back to lurking :)
>>682847448
Thank you friend you make me feel good about having the correct strategy for my decision.
>>682847501
I'm usually a lurker so happy it helped! It took me a lot of time to realize the thing I wrote, but I'm an extremely happy man now. Hope you can be too, either way you go.
>>682845765
"draining me of life joy"
Sounds likes its over for you buddy. As previous posters have said if you decide to break it off, do it as tastefully as you can.
Op heading out, valuable advice in my backpack. Maybe ill post my decision with same image in op around same time. Probably few days to decide completely. Good night
Just left my wife of 4.5 years, dated a couple before that. She cheated