I just stalked my EXs fb profile and found out she has a ney boyfriend.. it's been 8 month since she broke up with me and we were only a thing for like a year.. why can't I just get over it? I threw away all the stuff, deleted her and pretty much everything from everything, talked to other girls started new hobbys, working out
It's just that nothing seems to fucking work. I don't think there has been a single day I haven't thought at least a little bit about her. I just fucking hate myself for it. Everything else is going fine but this shit is just so incredibly shitty.
> Be me > 8th grade > My middle school did this weird thing where they divide everyone into 4 teams and each team has 4 teachers > Almost all my friends get put on other teams > Start making new friends > One is this dude I knew from elementary school named Colton > Get really close to him > Start hanging out >Town has a music festival > Me, my friend, and his girlfriend spend almost 2 straight days together. > feelsgood.jpg >Make an assload of other friends on the team > Yearbook signing comes > Colton is the first one to sign it > Freshman year > Colton and I have almost no classes together > Don't talk to him any more > Find different friend groups > Drift apart > Sophomore year Nov. 1st > Me and some friends are playing LOL over skype >at my dad's house alone (parents are divorced) > Mom comes in > She is bawling her eyes out > "Anon, Colton is dead" > Died in a car crash cuz his friend floored it and lost control > Immediatly tell my friends >This kid was one of the most popular kids in school > We all sit in silence > I go to his funeral > cantspellfuneralwithoutfun.png > Actually the saddest thing I have ever seen > His 13 year old brother has to pry his mom off his corpse > Go home > See 8th grade yearbook > "Anon, you are hilarious and smart, hope we have some classes next year"- Colton Taylor I have to keep that yearbook wrapped under blankets in my closet or I can't sleep at night.
>>682820262 you need some feels anon? I'm gonna give you some feels, I'm a 21 y/o kissless virgin, I haven´t even cuddle with a girl, every time I try to get close to a girl I enter retard mode, and the one time I tell a girl I liked her, she laughted at my face, since then I lost all my confidence, one month ago I met a girl on omegle, we started chatting a little bit, but then it turned into a lot, we talked all day, last saturday we were talking and she confeced me that she liked me that the only thing she wanted was to be by my side, she lives in the US and I live in chile, the only girl that has ever liked me, lives thousand miles away from me
>be me >go to a magnet maths and science high school for sophomore year >make some friends >one of them is a dude, everyone calls him Chez >Chez and I talk a lot about depression >I confess to him that I used to take Dramamine or Benadryl to sleep all weekend, popping another pill every time I woke up >we spend a ton of time together >go on long walks or out for pizza >he suggests we get pizza on a Tuesday afternoon about a week ahead of time >kinda weird, usually it's impromptu, but I agree >Tuesday comes >I take yet another "mental health day" and spend the day locked in my room >winter break is coming up >get a message in Facebook "honesty box" app >my computer won't let me view it >borrow Chez's laptop to view it and respond >it's really sad, about how the person's Catholic family will never accept their atheism, and suicidual urges >it's the day we're leaving for winter break >Chez didn't go to his finals >Chez isn't showing up to the bus >wait and wait to board my bus, really want to say good bye to him >his roommate goes and gets him for me and I hug him >two days into winter break >at my female friend's house >in the middle of telling a story about something I did with Chez
con't it pisses me off when I hit char limit and IDK where I am from mobile
>>682827074 >her mother comes downstairs >"hey do you two know anything about that kid from your school that died?" >"what? No. Who?" >"uh I think his name was Matthew... Chessare?" >I fucking faint dead onto the floor >few days later >at his funeral >trashy idiot guy I've been sexting with for months is sobbing >tries to assault me and has to be held back, and screams at me through his tears that I did this, I killed Chez >I did >autopsy reveals high levels of Benadryl in his system >he died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage, truck running >his best friend tells me he had bought me flowers on that Tuesday, was going to ask me to be his gf >whole funeral service is about what a good catholic son he was, always so happy, tragic accident >I WAS THE TRAGIC ACCIDENT >I had promised him if he ever killed himself I would too >I didn't keep my promise
>>682826734 Teenage live is so overrated and almost always ends badly. You'd be jaded the same way she is from the fails of young stupid love. Real love comes when two people are grown enough to know what they really need, find each other and grow together.
The curse of youth is shortsightedness. In way better in my 30s than I ever was in my 20s, and a lot less vulnerable
>>682826734 I always see shit like this here but no one realizes you don't appreciate anything when you're 15. You could have having this ideal John Mellencamp song life, but you're still stressed about shit that you think matters. Its not until you get older that you realize life was relatively carefree and that you should have enjoyed it more.
>>682825848 I haven't loved I'm a while. Every time I do I always end up hurting myself. The last time was last summer when the first girl ever finally paid attention to me. I've been damaged ever since, and I've refused those feelings that allow love. I'm starting to fall for a friend of mine in a relationship, and I'm wondering when I won't be able to push back the feelings anymore.
Question for medfags - what are some things that look like cancer in an ultrasound, but aren't? Need something to hope for until the culture results come in. I'd rather suffer disappointment of being wrong than wallow in the impending death of my dog.
>>682827588 I'm almost 20 and am a virgin Had relarionships, i know what they're like but i didnt make it that far into the relationship. And i feel like shit about it, in a way, because it's just society construing me into something i seem incapable of doing. Does this make you feel like dying too? Kinda makes me, tbh.
>>682831604 There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're nowhere near the sea. You're in the desert, alone, and the only time you aren't is when you visit that nearby oasis with only one fish in the water. You should be going to the sea, but maybe you've settled where you are right now.
I've been broken for so long. I've been told and taught to never cry. I've forgotten how to cry. Pain is the only load I carry in life. No one will help carry or unload. I am left to my own. The only escape is the sweet release of death. To be reborn into another sphere where the only hope I have is to not carry the burdens of this life again.
>>682822785 I'm a lonely and virginfag who's never had a relationship. But I think you'd be heartless to completely stop loving someone. I feel like if you love somebody and dedicate yourself to it, there will always be a part of you that loves them. You may love them less and less, to the point that you don't realize it anymore, but you'll always love them. You gave them a piece of your heart. A piece of your life. She can't give that back to you, and you'll have to find something new to love, that may fill the piece she took. You can gain hobbies and friends and maybe, one day, find love again. But you'll never be able to just fix yourself. You simply have to get stronger to accommodate for the hurt. At least long enough that the pain heals. And nothing heals a broken heart better than time. Good luck, anon. I wish you the best.
>>682832220 I settled here I think, like you said. I've tried socializing and very little good came out of it, except her. I don't know what the fuck i'm waiting for. Some guy just said "stop being your own worst enemy" and it just is so true. As hard as I want to hate her for making me fall in love with her, I'm the only one to blame in this mess. I gotta change bro, i gotta change real quick. Thx for being there though
I lost my virginity at young age due to housemaid taking advantage of my innocent self. I think about age of 5-6, and I did not even enjoy it nor felt what I was suppose to feel. I mean, I had a tiny cock at that age. I never told anyone about it in my family, I find it to be an embarrassing experience. I guess it contributed unto my uncomfort when near women in general. I am working on it now.
My first kiss was from a truth or dare where I lost and was forced to kiss this qt3.14 who's an exgf of a friend of my besfriend. I was 19 and proud that I was not a kissless virgin anymore. But deep inside, I knew it was a fake kiss, no tongue, just a game. I felt cheated in life afterwards.
My first date at age 20, is an unofficial date due to this girl had a fight with her boyfriend. This girl knows my feelings for her and she led me to believe that she needed me, only to end the date with her going back to her boyfriend's apartment.
I feel like my life runs backwards, now I am just waiting to be reborn again...
>>682831186 My ex-gf used Tumblr as an outlet. She didn't tell many people about it, and in the past she put some really heartbreakingly honest stuff there. Even though /b/ is anon I'm still not going into it, I won't tell another living soul.
But on her header she had her full name, and she TOLD me about it. Obviously I was flattered that she let me in, but I feel like if I were her, knowing someone MIGHT see it would change what I post.
I think I mentioned once that I posted here. I used to post here all the fucking time. I had some dark days, but I've since lost 150lbs and my life is kinda going alright, despite the stress of uni and the recent breakup making me breakdown once in a while. (heh, "breakup/breakdown")
Shit, I'm even careful what I post to reddit sometimes because it's all under my one username.
But here, it's nothing but real honesty from me. I don't shit post really, I barely post these days at all, but when I do, I can really, REALLY say that I'm thinking because it's truly anon.
But these days I don't even admit to myself what I'm thinking, and it'd be too hard for me to write it, so I don't bother. There's some real honestly for ya.
>>682833038 If you put a frog into a boiling pot of water, it'll jump out. But if you put a frog in warm water, and slowly heat it up, it will stay there until it's death. That's what life must be like for you, except unlike the frog, you know the water is only getting hotter. Have you forgotten how to jump anymore?
I was in long term relationship once, lasted two years. I didn't realize it for awhile but my feelings slowly started to fade for the person, and I hurt them so fucking bad in the end. The last weeks I had shut them and the world out in another depressive episode. We're friends now but I still feel like a shitty and selfish human being for it.
>>682833527 bro 3 years ? Fuck fuck fuck shit i'm scared as shit now, i can't feel that for another 2 years. I just can't
>>682833528 really good analogy work anon. A bit weird though. And it's like I never learned how to jump. I'm 21 and its the first time i'm in love. Previous 2 relationships were boring and mostly for sex. Summer is coming and I won't see her for months, i'll also try to not talk to her that much by phone or whatever. There's going to be some major changes in my professional life aswell, might give me the opportunity to meet other people. thx again
Just lost £450 in a scam looking for a place to live with my girlfriend.
She and my family saying it's not my fault and what not, but it was totally so damn obviously a scam. I just fell for it because I was too hopeful I'd happened across a really nice place at a great price.
>>682822785 Never forbid yourself stuff... you will just want it more. Accept it for what it is, accept that you might remember once in a while. It's over now but the fact is you have to accept it and learn to live with it. Crybaby bastard.
>>682834513 yeah its a battle and to make matters worse near all of my friends left but ive got whisky and smokes so my advice to you start lifting and find love somewhere else make her chase you and cut off all contact with her also do you know of the dark triad
>>682834802 I'm sorry to hear that. I almost got scammed as well. I was supposed to be a mystery shopper. I got a check in the mail for $1,740. I had to send $710 through Western Union and MoneyGram to two different addresses in Illinois. If I would have sent the money the check would bounce then I'd owe the bank all that money.
>>682834802 Well man, shit like this happens, I'd be feeling down and angry as fuck as well... But try not to focus on it, you couldn't have known at the moment and you were get something really cool... Cheer up, bro I'm sure you will find a place soon
>>682835200 that's good advice. I started some pushups when I wake up, mostly in lieu of stalking her facebook. I also run a lot and i just started some swimming lessons. Not a lot of people there though. I figure if I work on my body well enough, my mind might follow the lead and be just as sane. Dunno The dark triad, is that about three different personnality traits ?
>Have a two year long relationship with the best girl ever >Near the end she thought i was cheating on her >Breaks up with me >Threatens me with restraining order if i ever talk to her again >Two weeks after breakup sleeps with my friend just to get revenge for something i never did >And that shit doesn't even bother me i'ts the fact i will never have a chance to say goodbye to the person who made my life worth living >Half a year later still think about her
>>682834802 Aw man that sucks. I can always remember 7 years ago when I was 15 (fuck...) I was on holiday with family in Bulgaria and took a wander alone. Two big guys stopped me and tried to sell me some shitty little bag of "fruit" for a rip off price. I felt intimidated and kinda instinctually reached for my wallet before I said hold up, I don't want it and have no money. He said he knew I was lying and pointed to some really old grizzled guy sitting on a chair saying that's his boss.
So I bought the shit and immediately felt awful and threw it away. I dunno, it's nothing like yours obviously but I just thought I'd share that story, I haven't ever told anyone that before.
We all make mistakes. Look on the bright side: You fell into that trap only because you've got a gf you obviously love very much and want to live with and provide for. That's something special anon that a lot of other guys here would kill for. Sure, if you were single you wouldn't have fallen for it, but honestly, I'd take having a little too much faith in humanity and having someone I loved by my side over the alternative.
My boyfriend tried to kill himself about a month after we met. He assures me that it was nothing I did.
But it was totally me, it was my fault again. I was too nonchalant about his depression. I was supportive, in that I told him he could get better and overcome, but I didn't react like it was some shocking horrifying thing that he felt suicidal, because it isn't to me.
We weren't dating yet. Now he's won my heart and I can't stop thinking about how I failed him at the beginning.
>>682836081 what i learned out of boot is 10 pushups for every thought of her 25 for messaging 50 for masturbating 100 and 5 miles for all three yes it is and i got a link https://illimitablemen.com/archives/ good luck and swift gains
>>682829699 She was already in a relationship when we kissed first time. She still with that guy who insults her and also we still meeting. I want to she leave him but she doesn't know what to do. I'm neither...
>>682820262 i have schizophrenia, the worst case i have is where everyone i know are repeating my name... the voices slowly gets more and more angry, the last is my dad in full rage calling my name. never had a good relation with him... I'd rather be black
>>682836412 she didn't think you were cheating on her probably. girls use all kinds of bullshit excuses because they are weak, scared creatures. you're literally better off alone. or ofc if you can find a tough bitch who can be honest, goodluck with that
You faggots piss me off so much. Like boo hoo my life is bad i wanna kill myself. Well either kill yourself (who's stopping you?) or fuck outta here and go live instead of eating shit. I'm not some dude that never went through shit and is just saying this without knowing what it's like. But don't you ever get tired of being miserable, and alone? Doing the same shit over and over. Constantly talking about the same thing how you wanna die and you're depressed. Not everyone is meant to succeed at life. Some will be failures. It's how it works, in nature too. So just end it and stop wasting space and oxygen. If you really want to make an difference get your ass up and do so.
>>682837547 You don't really get the point do you,most of us here are sad and are looking for some comfort,that's the whole fucking point,people need to let out their problems and here we are willing to listen,so why not?
>be me >17, best and only true friend dies find out a year later, always wanted me to sleepover at his house never did it >started failing exams held back for the first time in my life >girl I like and she obviously likes me back is ashamed of accepting her feelings towards me >start alienating everyone I know cause heavily depressed >suicide not an option until I lose my mom who is my everything the only person I truly love >listen to music and browse /b/ on mobi cause poorfag and can't afford computer Maybe it'll get better
>>682837994 If you don't have a reason to live on think about your friend that passed away,he would want you to be strong and hold on,don't worry mate there is always a bright side we just need to find ti
>sort of a social recluse >not many friends >mostly just chat with internet friends and listen to music >not well accepted >best friend is my bro >don't see bro much anymore >starting to feel like not accepted
ITT >Omg gf dumped me i can't live without her now >Friend died/left me >No one loves me i'm a kissless virgin Move the fuck on. My fiance and my best friend died but i moved on with my life instead of whining.
>>682837547 The people here don't go around talking like this all the fucking time. Threads like this are a means to let out stress and feel better with other people by sharing stories. That being said, get the fuck outta here with that weak ass bait. It's the same fucking shit every single thread. There's a goddamn button to hide threads, you know. If people moping around and feeling bad with one another really pisses you off so much, maybe you're the stupid cunt who needs help.
>>682840990 520 is the original I can confirm coz I see the (you) and I know what I wrote but it's difficult to prove without evidence. Since I'm on my phone that's not possible so I might as well be the other guy (even though I'm not). No problem by the way, how does it even work, the new gender I mean. You were probably just messing with me anyway, still curious if true.
>>682841096 Yeah. I do, every now and again. I'm often too down and tired to do anything but mope around, but occasionally I get quickly angry about whatever is making me depressed and take it out through frustration and overall salt. I don't enjoy being pissed off, but it usually feels better than sitting around and doing nothing.
>>682840638 How am i the one that needs help when you literally come on a thread to complain? It's not because hey i wanna be that guy that just comes out of nowhere to eat shit. It's not only here, it's everywhere around me i'm sick of it. I never understood how can someone just be in the same spot and not move without doing shit about it? Just because i said shit how it is that doesn't mean i'm baiting. I just wish every whiny ass bitch killed themselves so it would save everyone else the bother. For instance i have a few friends that wanna kill themselves and maybe this makes me a bad person but sometimes i wish they did. I do care about them but they're just people. Everyone is replaceable and the world would be better off without useless members of society populating it.
>>682825850 Dude, that struck me right where it was supposed to... I have something similar. >be 7 >move to another country >no friends, don't speak the language, don't know anybody >be outcast >like to draw shit >this one dude also likes to draw (fist day at school >lets call him Robert >draw rogether even though we don't speak the language >be stupid autist and pull chair back as he tries to sit >apologize and we become friends >Robert and I hang out all the time >no other frieds than him through out primary school >both outcast nerds, but not real autist tier shit >draw pokemon and shit >other kids laugh at us byt whatever >middle school >we go to different schools for some reason >fall in love with his sister >still trying to keep in touch with him >become more and more of a "normie" and lose contact eventually >high school >lots of friends, gf etc >still talk to him sometimes, but nothing special >it's his 18 bd >I send him a pic of a drawing we both made when we were 7 >he ignores my message >think he is mad at me, so I carry on with my life >fast forward 1 years >come to school as normal >go in to class >mutual friend looks at me dead serious and tells me >Robert is dead, anon >what the fuck no way >find out it happened 1 week ago >memorial is today at his school >can't believe it wtf >turns out he killed himself >cry like a bitch for several days >I could have prevented it >visit him regularly at the cementary
>>682841463 I'm on hormone replacement therapy and I noticed a difference. My breasts are more sensitive and my cum is completely clear as it should be. It'll take years to save up for sex reassignment surgery. But by then, I'll have developed to look much like the gender I identify myself as and I think life will be much easier.
I am a 28 year old waste of life. Virgin, jumping from shitty job to shitty job, and permanently haunted by my failed uni experience, in which I had to drop out after two years and watch as I never had money nor moved out or had any new experience while everyone and their brother finished their university careers, moved away and got good jobs. Worst part is that my brother is having the same problem since he became unemployed 4 years ago, except he´s a worse version of me. At least, I have some basic social skills; not for clubbing or picking girls, but for casual chat and going out. He doesn´t. His circle of friends is literally mine and nothing else: and even then, I know he comes with us because he has no one else, because he´d like to go to more "socially standard" places while he´s stuck with a bunch of nerds who gather around to watch B movies. I feel like he would have loved to have a cool older brother who brought him to cool places and helped him pick up girls, so now I have to deal not only with my very own failures but with the feeling that I also failed him. Even though over time my parents have supported me, there are always some lingering comments about how they´d like if I could save some money and finish my university career so they could shut up mean family comments.
I also chickened out on a relationship with the only girl I have ever truly loved, for what now seem petty reasons, but I was immature seven years ago. And even though I was seriously falling for another more recently, she pretty much ghosted me: never directly saying she didn´t want to speak to me but gradually ignoring me more and more.
I feel like I´m in a dead end life situation: not too bad since at least I can get through and save a bit for ocassionally going out and buying cheap vidya, but without the prospect of doing anything worthwile in life.
>>682842288 1. I really wasn't being arrogant. 2. I never said i was special and i'm well aware no one is. What point are you trying to make here anon? I expressed my view on shit, nothing else. The whole it's not gonna be you, i was just being honest. It's an anonymous image board for fucks sake. Why are you being so butthurt? Will offending me make you feel better? If so by all means, offend someone you know nothing about on a fucking anonymous image board.
>>682828137 This one gets me because I try to make this person happy but they never show it. I don't even think it's worth trying anymore. I'd rather end it now than go forever on feeling this sad but I can't. And that's the sad part
>>682842517 To prove your story is true? A timestamp is for proof of something like example putting it next to some letter he wrote to you, his grave etc. But you just posted a picture of a timestamp with nothing to show in the background. Not saying i don't believe you but what you did was pretty retarded. Anyone can post a timestamp with no proof and make up a story. >now fuck off Aww i'm sorry did your feelings get hurt? Fucking retard.
>>682842613 As a younger brother, one of my biggest resentments of my past self was following my older brother in his footsteps and not following my own. I tried dressing like him, in some way behaving like him (even though I couldn't), and took all the same hobbies and interests as he did. Until this day in my early 30's, I visit my relatives and remember them trying to offer me popcorn and saying "we have some popcorn for you because we know that's what you like" and I have to remind them "that's my brother, not me. I'm nowhere nearly as big on popcorn as he is". It's little things like that I'm constantly having to identify myself as an adult separate from my brother, and even his old friends would confuse me for him since I strongly resemble him in the eyes of everyone.
If you really want to play a good role on your brothers life, you need to show him that care about him, but admit to him that you are no role model, and its in his best interest to follow his own path. Tell him to be his own man, it's what he needs to hear.
>>682832743 Oh fucking Christ, this hit me WAY too hard. Made me think of the one girl I truly loved. Dedicated everything to her for 3 years of high school. I loved her and she said she loved me. We couldn't date because of her family and she liked to focus on school. So we we a kinda unofficial couple for a good 2.5 of the 3 years. Then one day, close to the end of junior year, I find from someone else that she's been dating a guy for several months now.
Now they're broken up, I've graduated and have a fiancé with a baby boy on the way, but there isn't one night I don't think of her. How different things could have been…
I don't know...Personally, I find it kind of shameful that I'm depressed. I don't understand it. I guess, although I am fighting it consciously, subconsciously, I am still stuck with the stigmas of a past era.
>>682829699 Yes I'm thinking of her every day, I think of her because she gave me 2 chances and I missed them because I'm a pussy. I hope that she returns to the town this summer, I hope that she will want to hang out, I hope that she hasn't given up on me, I hope that I'll have the balls to tell her, I hope that she hasn't found someone else, I hope that she will be up for a relationship even though it will be a long distance one. But no matter how much I hope I know deep inside something will go wrong. Her name if that's important is Margarita.
As someone who spent more time fucking in middle AND high school than studying I just wanna call BS on this.
Unless you have a seriously seriously shit life (if so, I'm sorry- that sucks) every pleasure you had when you were a teen just felt that much better because it was new.
Looking back on how insanely vapid and retarded all my relationships and fucking was the only thing I wish I had done was spend more time with my actual friends and less time getting pussy. I miss hanging out with my friends, I miss my older extended family members who aren't alive anymore, I miss my dog that I should've played with more, I miss road trips, I miss being able to do really dumb shit and bouncing back overnight because of youth.
I don't particularly have any fond memories of dumping loads on the thighs and hair of girls who mostly would end up dead or on opiates/meth. I lucked out and managed to avoid getting dick-rot or AIDS or a kid. If I was smart I would've just jerked off. If I wanted companionship I should've actually looked for it in college or met people through mutual friends.
>I'm a kissless virgin!
There is nothing special about fucking. It's only emotionally wonderful when you're really into the person you're with. Sex in general is overrated, virgin and unexperienced sex is way way overrated. It's almost always awkward, over really early, and usually one person doesn't cum. Unexperienced blowjobs are possibly the worst thing on earth.
I literally know a bunch of fat ugly weird furries who found SOs and fuck like crazy. One of my former coworkers was a fat fujoshi who wore inuyasha t-shirts and ended up marrying her fiance- and hasn't changed a bit. If you REALLY want it you gotta go out and get it. I cannot emphasize how many fucking people there are on this planet and that there are people out there who will fuck you if you find them, and you might actually enjoy their company. The latter is more important anyway.
>>682841821 I guess I see your point. I just view these differently. I see it as a way for people to feel better when they're down, but from what I understand, you see it as a place for people who bitch and do nothing to progress themselves. As much as I hate to admit it, you do have a good point there. I come to these threads to try and give advice to people. So, I don't often think about whether or not they'll actually let themselves get better. People that bitch for attention, rather than help, are fucking worthless though. I can agree with you there. It's all about perspective, I guess. Thanks for explaining yourself, anon. Even if we don't agree, I'm just glad you're not a faggot pointing fingers and being cancer without any supporting reason.
I try to be supportive and have him pursue his own interests but I always have this feeling that I am not the kind of old brother he´d want. Still, I´ll keep on trying. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Legit thanks.
>>682843664 Shit, I'm sorry man. Even after being on /b/ for years, seeing all the gore, racism, loli, and more- nothing disgusts me more than cheating on somebody. If you want to be with someone else, break up. People who cheat are some of the scummiest fucking people I can think of. I don't envy you, anon.. You're a far stronger man than I.
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