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Worst injuries you ever had + story!GO!
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Worst injuries you ever had + story!GO!
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>>682758898
>I was walking home down a steep hill.
>It was a nice day, decided to walk to and from work.
>Save a few bucks, get some exercise.
>I was not looking at my feet and was listening to music.
>I Step on a stone about the size and shape of a baseball.
>Violently trip a few feet forward.
>And here's the worst part
>Because it was a steep hill
>A few feet down.
>I shattered my ankle and broke my foot.
>Could not walk for 6 months.
>It still hurts and I still limp 2 years later.
This was about 2 weeks after I did it.
>>
>be me in middle school
>go to skatepark every day
>skating one particular day
>attempt disaster over a spine
>skateboard fucks off
>fall five feet and slide on concrete
>feelalright.jpeg
>elbow stings as I walk it off
>giant chunk gone from my elbow
>size of quarter and deep
>can see fat
>get dizzy and pass out

That's the worst I had.
>>
>>682758898
>be me
>get in fight with my dad
>cuts off my hand
>shit sucks
>but I get an awesome prosthetic
>>
>>682759581
Don't be a pussy Luke
>>
>>682759581
use the force
an shove it
>>
>I did not wash my dick for 5 years
>infected foreskin
>it burned when ever I peed
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>>682758898
>family moves to a new town
>lose touch with old friends
>too old and feel awkward
>don't make new friends
>2 years and I feel like my life is in a standstill
>>
>be autistic 6 yo me
>spin in circles like a beyblade
>trip and fall down
>smash my face against a flower pot
>break nose
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>be me 17 doing apprentership
>cutting steel for a job with oxy torch
>take glove off and look away
>feel hand hurting
>flame is burning through wrist
>week off work
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>>682759999
Rekt and checked
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>>682759999
Check em
>>
>>682758898
>Walking down the street on patrol
>Chest explodes
>Partner beats the shooter to death after shooting him (some fucking mongol named Yousef)
>Sergeant Love wound up being put on administrative leave.
>>
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>driving home from work
>hear my phone going off like crazy
>better pull in somewhere don't wanna wreck texting and driving
>pull into gas station and answer texts
>drunk rear ends me while Im parked and breaks my L1 -L3
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>>682759999
Quads
>>
>be me
>be Australian
>be 18
>Just got P plates
>driving on my own first time
>feels good
>feel so free
>start to speed
>crash
>2 weeks later I wake up in a hospital
>have 46 broken bones
>part of my hand had to be amputated.
>Told I will never be able to drive again.
>have to take pain killers every day for months due to pain.
>>
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This shit happened to me a few years back. And I got some lemon juice on it later in the day. I still can't sleep at night.
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>>682760282
Dude...
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>>682758898
>Be me, 11
>Climbing a Tree with my brothers.
>Was sorta crawling across a thick horizontal branch.
>I slip and hold on to the tree
>Gravity pulls me round and under the branch.
>My arms get cut by the bark, making my instinctively let go.
>Fall 7-8 feet into a fuckload of nettles.

I cried a lot and it hurt like hell with nettle stings all over me, but somehow I was fine.
>>
>>682760295
I'm so sorry for what you have been through amigo
>>
>7yr old me sitting on skateboard down hill
>deathwobble, off I go
>road rash on half of thigh
the worst part was waking up the next morning to find the scab had grown through my pj's and the whole thing had to be peeled off again
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>>682759702
Why the fuck would you do that you degenerate?
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>>682760295
That shit belongs in gore threads faggot
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>about 10 years old
>try to use one of these as a trampoline
>broke my elbow in 3 pieces
>>
>running around parking lot like autistic fag
>shoes are untied
>step on lace
>slam right above my eye into a concrete parking block
The hair still grows funky there but at least I didn't take out my eye
>>
>>682760282
Pics of your car ?
>>
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my cat died a few days ago :(
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>>682760414
Kek
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>>682760566
:(
>>
I ran my right hand into a woodworking router a couple years ago. Tore off my index fingernail from below and chewed up my middle pretty bad, shredded the bone, etc. Healed up nicely though I still can't really feel anything with it.
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I was cutting a bagel and almost took this bitch off. Learned to keep thumb out if hole.
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>>682758898
>i was sleeping, got woken by awful pain in chest.
>Go to hospital
>doctor say, you have a collapsed lung.
>stay in hospital they put tube in me to suck out the air, doctor doesn't use anesthesia, to cut a hole in my chest to insert the tube, hurts even more than the collapsed lung.
>after lung is healed and all, doctor removes tube and staples the wound shut.
It's now 3 years later, and the bloody stapled part still hurts when i move. That doctor was a prick
>>
>be me
>18
>had an IH Scout, had an electric fan installed when I got it
>shroud around fan
>safe to adjust carburetor when running
>switch to a belt driven fan
>go to adjust carburetor next time
>bzzzzzzzztttttt
>fan hits three fingers
>cuts them to the bone
>severs two tendons
>third one hanging on
>move that finger around, watch the tendon moving
>didn't really feel pain
>go to er
>3 surgeries to fix it
>4 months of medical leave from work
>>
>>682758898

>watched family gay episode
>brain exploded from the cringe
>been down ever since
>>
Paper cut!! Cut finger with paper
>>
>Be me
>be 18
>nobody can understand my dark emotions
>wear dark clothes
>have piercings
>listen to emo music
>Emotional pain
>>
>Be me
>12
>With my grandfather while he's working around his house
>Walking around
>Metal beam falls and collides with the back of my head
>I go flying
>Notice that i've scraped my wrist and it's bleeding a bit
>'That was lucky'
>Walk to grandfather to tell him what happened
>Points behind me to the trail of blood
>Put hand on the back of my head
>Coated in blood
>9 stitches.. Still have the scar
>>
>>682760282
Pics or didn't happen
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>>682758898
>be me
>9 year old, year 4 at school
>every Friday lunch was football
>I go into goal every time
>11 year old year 6 guy lines up
>boots it
>i stick my arm out to save
>hits my arm
>unbearable pain
>school ice pack it
>after school mum sees me in pain, straight to hospital
>x-ray
>broken arm
>cast for 4 weeks
>go back next week
>still saved the goal
>>
>>682758898
too lazy to write a story

I chopped part of my thumb of with a knife. Middle of the nail through and through.
>>
>camping in the summer
>lots of alcohol
>pass out on ground
>fire ant nest

I've got a bunch of other injuries (torn ligaments, dislocated shoulder, torn meniscus), but gonna say that one was the absolute fucking worst.
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>>682758898
>Mother is islamofag
>be 9, not even sexual yet
>clitoris removed by "family doctor"

Very fun
>>
>>682758898
Broke my wrist while doing a front flip over fence, first time it worked but the second time I put too much weight on my right wrist and it snapped
Had surgery and missed wedding of my sister
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>>682761723
pic & timestamp. for science.
>>
> riding bike, road ahead under construction
> only pavement broken up
> 3 miles going back, 1 mile going forward to home
> takeittothelimit
> ride between "road closed" signs
> couldn't see metal cable strung between signs (lots of trees, shade)
> bike stops, faceplant hard... thankfully wearing a helmet
> rocks, chipped teeth, blood rolling off face
> asshole comes out of front door, yells at me to put signs back
> turn and look at him and he just backs into his house
> ride home watching blood drip
> don't remember much between getting home and arriving at ER
> fingertip sized flap of skin missing
> entire half of face = road rash
> 3 chipped teeth, top incisor required root canal
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>>682758898
>be me, junior in high school
>under the impression that I'm actually spiritual enough to be religious
>go on youth group winter retreat
>sledding day before worship sesh
>think it's safe, because lol sledding
>snow had melted a little but then froze into ice chunks
>major bump, probably some other kid's corpse because several got hospitalized
>fly off sled, try to catch myself with hands
>small chunk of bone from my little finger broke off, face got scratched to shit

I mean, idk if I just have hella strong bones or what, 'cause I've fallen out of trees and crashed on my bike and got whacked in the head with all manner of nasty stuff, but I've never had a broken bone beyond that
>>
>>682761931
Not showing that warzone, but I can do the top parts
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>>682760282
yay a dickhead 18 year old who thinks he can tell everyone to fuck off and goes and does something stupid because "URM KING SHITE" gets what coming to him

sweet sweet justice
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>>682762110
Top parts
>>
>>682760377
>pajama part
AAAAAAAAH
>>
>in cancun for spring break
>dancing with solid 8/10 all night
>friends leave me with her at club cuz they wanna go back and I want fuck
>decide to make a move and get to hotel room
>notice wallet is missing and accuse her cuz why not
>she flips and jelly fags around turn on me
>flee club before any trouble starts and have to walk back to hotel as no money for bus/taxi
>start walking and then wake up what must be hours later in ditch
>broken front teeth
>cut on head and grazes on hands, knees, elbows etc.
>fuck my life
>>
>>682761931
I concur
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>>682760958
Malpractice, much?

That doesn't sound like it should hurt three years later.
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>>682762110
No harm in showing, if you don't show your face. Did they fuck it up? They usually make it look like a boring hole, remove labia and clit and leave nothing else.
>>
Flipped an off road go kart thing. My arm flung out of the roll cage and got caught between the cage and the ground as I flipped. Arm broke into 3 pieces. I've got 19 screws and a foot and a half long plate for a child's femur in my arm lol got a huge scar the length of my arm.
>>
>>682762110
Top parts would be welcome...
>>
>be at favorite swimming spot
>run down the pier to jump off and make a big splash (well I got that right)
>left pointer toe slips between two planks just as I'm about to jump
>feel and hear the bone snapping
>fall head first off the pier
>swim back to the shore and sit down
>don't feel anything, so I take the top part of the toe and move it around
>bonescrapingagainstbone.gif
Now comes the fun part. I got there by bike and was several kilometers from home with noone to call.
>drive home with bike
>suddenly my saddle fucks off to lands unknown (some screw loosened itself and fell out leaving me with a saddle I couldn't sit on)
>crash
>have to drive standing up to a friends house

It was a clean fracture and healed without a problem.
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>>682762995
>>682762434
>>682762934
Im incredibly self conscoius about my pussy now
>>
Im a cop so I was patrolling the streets near a fucked up neighborhood, suddenly i took an arrow to the knee now I'm a city guard
>>
>Cracked head in ice skating ring when I was 7
>Stitched, but bump still there
>Can't even lay head down on something as soft as carpet
>>
>Be me
>Be 12
>Driving home on bike
>Crosses road without looking to the left propperly cuz i'm too cool for that
>Hit by embassy vehicle at 75KM/H on a 50KM/H road, fucking embassy vehicles.
>Bike breaks in half, it's like a solid bike thick etc.
>I go flying, wake up on the road looking up, nice old lady neighbour looks down on me
>We've called for help, pass out
>Wake up in ambulance
>"Got any numbers we can call" give moms number, pass out
>Wake up on table with doctors/nurses around me
>"Can we cut your clothes?"
>"Ofc nigguh, don't wanna die", pass out
>Wake up in hospital bed, see mom, cry like a baby
>Shown my helmet that have been pretty much split in half
>Lazy fuck with all his books in his backpack, saved me and destroyed the car
>Only broke my angle, shit was dank
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>>682758898
>Be me, 14 playing cricket
>Go for catch
>Run into a fat cunt
>headclash, both fall down
>I get up and he's still on the ground bitching
>Blood all over his face
>Everyone freaking out
>Wipe my face
>Ohfuck.jpeg
>Hand covered in blood, ask for help cause everyone's crowded round this guy cause he's still knelt on the ground
>Water is brought over for both of us, wash our faces
>His become clean, mine doesn't
>It was my blood all over him
>Get taken to hospital, 9 stitches
>Now have scar kinda in the semi circle shape of teeth on my forehead

>TL;DR Some motherfuckers teeth went into my forehead and he was the one bitching
>>
Did heroin for 3 years
Didn't shit for about 2 and 1/2 months.
The conclusive bowel movement made me need stitches.
>>
>>682763857
that's actually physiologically impossible. you'd die from ammonemia within about 3 weeks tops.
>>
>>682763230
damn, those are actually some high quality boobs
>>
when I was 19 I went through a phase where I thought I was a woman I almost had my dick cut off but then I realized I have a mental disorder for wanting to have a sex change. Wew lad almost lost me willy
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>>682763759
>only broke my angle
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>>682760566
hehe xd
>>
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>be me
>autistic 8 year old trampoline fag
>trampoline was my life
>got 2 friends who also joined the trampoline madness
>one hot day during summer
>kiddy pool by the trampoline
>playing in the kiddy pool
>friends come over
>spells out "J U M P"
>fuckyeah.jpg
>runs toward the ladder
>ladder is standing on a bathroom tile cut in half
>wet feet slide across that shit
>cut of 1/4 of my pinky toe
>dying of pain
>dad bandages and stops the bleeding
>4 days later
>using crutches
>mfw i find the cut part of pinky toe
>puke and throw it in trash can
>never stopped being a trampoline fag
>>
When I was 3 I ran into a the corner edge and cut my forehead open
>>
>Be me, 12 yo
>Stand by the stairs in school doing hall duty
>Top of the stairs, back facing them
>One poorfag gypsy-nigger goes up the stairs, grabs me on the shirt and pulls as hard as he can
>Fell down on my ass, tumbleweed a few meters more
>Shattered pelvis, concussion, twisted ankle
>>
>bought new scooter
>after 2 weeks I equipped mid-racing 70ccm tuning kit with everything else
>go for a test drive
>see driver up ahead while going 80km/h, he stops like he should
>20m ish from him he accelerates and stops halfway out in the road
>I hit the side of his hood and flew over the hood rolling 54356 times
>a little more to the left and I would have hit door and probs died
>pass out a few minutes
>wake up, driver is crying like a bitch, thinks I'm kill
>I look up, 2 week old scooter smashed and bent like a banana
>ancle smashed
>two toes smashed
>both knee caps smashed
>have cripple sex with GF for two months
>made full recovery
>lost the season, but got a nice insurance payout
>meet driver at the mall a few months later, he starts crying again like a bitch in front of everyone
>panicanxietytrigger.exe
>>
>be me
>me 16
>summer work
>Need to dress like clown for kids
>there is like a prarade whit kids and stuff
>we need to walk around look goofy
>I was late dress up like clown
>focking clown pants to long
>I run to parade because me late
>parade already going
>me running whit long clown pants
>trip over pants arms forward breaking my fall
>broke my elbow
>put back whit two screws
>I was focking sad clown in hospital
>>
>>682762555
damn that's rough anon
>>
>be me
>had laser surgery on eye because of scratch
Dr actually grabbed a bit with tweezers and "peeled it like a grape" - weird feeling
>go home take percs, smoke weed, have brandy & cigar [fuck you]
Wife & kid going shopping -1st ice strom of year
>go on porch to tell they to drive safe
>feet slip out from underneath
>look like planking
>hit steps/porch edge with back - serious pain
>brandy glass breaks
>roll onto stomach - can't move legs
>feel glass shard cut calf
Oh fuck can't bleed now backs broken
>crawl into house on elbows
Fam has laughing tears
Ambulance comes
>get neck brace put on wrong
pics taken by kid through laughter
>gurney repeatedly smashed into door frame taking me out
MOTHERFUCKER WATCH IT

Live on bottom of hill
EMT girl [doorway rammer] slips/falls
>gurney goes down sidewalk
Fam hysterical now

>get retrieved - taken to ER
Dr's find out what happened
Room full of staff laughing
"You're the 1st snow related injury this year and weren't even in a car" snickers
"What's going on with your eye?"
>"fuck my eye - legs not moving bad really hurts"
xrayed - get asked when I had my back fractured before
>WTF??? don't remember that

>get home & undressed
Fam notices dep 3 inch gash on leg - no blood
"Why no blood Anondad?"
>"no time to bleed. Thought I was gonna be crippled with my back"
more pics taken
shared with kids friends online

See my Dr 2 days later
Laughing - "Goddamn Anon you're bruised more then someone who's been in a car wreck"
>can you check out this gash on my leg?
"Not much I can do now, you should have had stitches"
>sent home with more percs.
>go back to work next day

so it goes..
>>
>be last summer
>be me longboarding with my cousin
>see steep amd shitty crakly ass road
>dudeimadoit.webm
>lose control
>do a barrel roll 3 times
>end up in a lane of a 4-way stop
>fuck my head hurts
>broke my right ring finger
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> be me
> be 12-13
> with dad working on bike
> cleaning the chain
> dad holds rag whilst revving engine
> suddennoise.gif
> look at dad
> first, middle and index finger are mangled in rear gear
> little finger has no end
> dad gets on bike and fucks off whilst bleeding heavy

Got to the hospital, found his little finger and had it reattached but he can no longer use the top half of his fingers. My dad is a dumb
>>
>broken heart
>>
Have compartment syndrome in both shins. Can never run again.
>>
>>682767428
Holy fuck!
Story?
>>
I have this painful as fuck ear infection right now
I want to "pop" it and feel the warm water leak out
BUT NO CANT DO THAT

also applied cheap lotion to face and it's burning like a mfo andi look like an alium now

fuck me
>>
>>682767428
>>682767684
STORY TIME!
>>
>>682758898
I have lots of injury stories having grown up in a rural small town, but this one is one of the worst personally. You'll see y

> be me
> be kid, maybe 10-ish
> mom leaves, leaves me and lil sis with dad
> dad is a shithead, emotionally/physically abusive in the past
>be playing outside, going down super steep driveway on old razor scooter
> dad supposed to be watching, reading a book
> front wheel of scooter breaks, slam face on ground and slide
> blood everywhere
> dad brings us inside
I'm in major pain, crying, lil sis doing her best to help me
> dad starts fixing the sink with me sitting right there
> mom gets home
> yells at dad, brings me to hospital

Needed a skin graft and blood. No scars, luckily.

This a lot dad.
>>
>not posting an arrowtotheknee.jpg

probably being forcefed a psychosis pill at gunpoint and serving 20 days locked inside a mental health ward. that sucked. no doubts there.

they dont have xray machines in africa but does that mean the nail in my forehead is no longer evidence? its no longer there? it doesn't exist?
>>
>>682758898
>be me
>20 yrs old
>trying to rotate pencil around hand
>pencil accidently poke my thumb

Didn't bleed but the chock was pretty bad.
>>
>>682758898
>be 4 or 5 or some shit
>jump in bed in hotel in Prague
>hit the bridge of my nose against metal edge of bed
>don't remember this happening, but still have scar

Also
>kick tree so squirrel falls out of it
>slightly fracture toe
>still have no squirrel

Also
>land badly when getting down from those zip line things they have in some playgrounds
>dislocate second toe
>put it back myself
>never tell anyone
>>
>>682760566
Rekt
>>
>be me
>go to Italy on vacation
>arrived friday
>next day do some shopping and walk around the city
>Sunday go to the beach
>green shit at the shore
>decide to go ahead to the stone barrier for cleaner water
>arrive, climb on them
>jump
>water was 1.5m or even lower
>break my neck
>C6 incomplete spinal injury
>bone fragments(1mm) touch medulla
>become almost a fully tetraplegic
>got lucky that I can still use my hands to do my usual tasks
>in a wheelchair for the rest of my life
>fucked up my life in less then 3 days in a foreign country.
>>
>>682760977
Sounds br00tal dude

Can we see the scars? >:]
>>
>>682768342
Sweet babby Jesus.

How did you not drown?
>>
>>682762110
I am legit curious.

Plz do.
>>
>>682763230
your fat you wouldn't have enjoyed sex anyways
>>
>>682763230
No one knows who you are. Pretty pl0x?
>>
>>682758898
Anyone here suffer from testicular torsion before?
>>
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I got hit by a car that decided to cut the lane taking a fast turn late at night and hit me on the far right bike lane. I wasn't wearing a helmet, and I shattered the windshield with my face and took the side view mirror of his m3 off with another part of my body. He was going a lot faster than me and I was going about 15. It wasn't that bad, but at the time I tore my nose and lip open, and broke my nose in four places
>>
>>682762110
come on you piece of allah loving garbage show us your freak cunt
>>
>>682758898
On mobile and tldr to green text
Essentially went swimming on abandoned train bridge in my town with my bud and we would jump off medium height into the water.
Well one day we decide to climb to the top and jump off. After the first jump we realize water hurts onv impact from that height, but keep going. What ended up happening is after a few rounds you get exhasuted and plus your grip slides, i fell at least12 feet, barely missed a bunch of spikey iron rods coming out of the water, cut my back up really bad.all in all was really lucky but i never went back
>>
I had my pelvis fractured during sex.
>>
>>682766219
Kids sound like shits.

Sorry if they're cool the rest of the time but jeez
>>
>>682761723
>father is amerifag
>be newborn, not even sexual yet
>get foreskin removed by 'family doctor'
>>
>>682759702
I had a similar thing but
>be more
>up to age 12 i never cleaned my foreskin nor pulled it back cos i never knew about cut vs uncut
>would have so much pain on my dick
>doctor gave me cream when i was 8
>doctor never showed me about pulling my foreskin back (fucking retard)
>I go to a new doctor at age 12
>he pulls my foreskin back as I thought he literally damaged my dick (never knew it could go back that far)
>shows me all the cheese shit i had piled up there for years
>clean it and never have penis pain again

Seriously that doctor who I saw as a child I cant believe he did not show me that I have to pull my uncut skin back and clean.. I legit could have got more infections if that other new doc never pulled it back.

Of course I had a father, but he never looked at my dick when I told him about pain hence he took me to that doctor at age 8 but fuck man u have no idea how painful it was for so many years.
>>
>that time we lost europe
>>
>>682768987
I read a story bout a guy who felt his dick snap while fucking a girl.

Holy shit
>>
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>be me
>stub toe
>nail in process of falling off
>>
>>682769133
It'll be fine
>>
I had Chlamydia, a Pelvic Inflammatory Infection, Cervical Cancer, a Bladder Infection, Endometriosis and my period all at the same time.

It was the most intense and horrible thing I've ever had to go through.
>>
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>be me two years ago
>going work 8 am
>long street whit just one crossroad
>me in little van
>almost arrive at crossroads and a bitch came out of nowhere not looking at anything
>missed the car but banged a wall straight at 40 Mph
see results...
>broke shoulder and had some pieces of glass all over my head
>>
>>682769159
I had a car door jam right onto a finger years ago.

The finger nail turned black and fell off a month later - but a knew nail was growing in the process so as soon as the dead black nail fell off, a new one was underneath.
>>
>>682760377
explain the pyjama part in more detail please
>>
>>682769257
how does a dude get cervical cancer and a period anon? I think you are telling tall tales after school on this one brosef
>>
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>>682769296
>>
>>682769002
Dude if you were there and not kek'ing I would have been pissed off.

>You can't have comedy without tragedy.
>>
>>682769157
I was on the receiving end, and we were just going at it when we both heard a pop sound. Worst part was that I was 17 at the time and we were in a hotel room.
>>
>>682761568
>football
>goal
>go fuck yourself brittle eurofag
>>
>>682768534
I was not alone. Was with sister and his Bf. At first they think that I'm just screwing around. When they see I go underwater they jumped and drag my ass to shore. Was completely conscious when this happened. But I cannot scream to much because my thoracic muscle were paralyzed instant, so not that much force to do it. I didn't feel no pain, the paralyzed shit was instant. From my nipples down and part of my hands, palm strength.
>>
Acute pancreatitis
>on toilet shitting my brains out
>projectile vomiting into bath tub
>gf brings me various medicines and water
>nope.(Chuck testa)
>body rejects that too
>laying on the floor of the bathroom incredibly weak for all the fluid loss
>dragged to the hospital
>on IV for 5 days
>not allowed to eat or even drink water for four days
>doctors have no idea why it happened.
>got to lay in bed and get IV pain medicine while I gamed on laptop though. That part was cool
>>
>>682769360
You also can't get a PII or Endometriosis while being a dude. Try harder.
>>
>>682769497
Fuck man what position were u banging her in and also is it okay now?
>>
>>682758898
>running across a wet inclined asphalt driveway
>slip
>land on knee
>almost gores it
>2x3 inch deep abrasion
>wasn't cleaned
>as it was healing, under the scab some orangish Sunny-D colored viscous shit appears
>there's still a purple indent
>>
>>682763759
>Lazy fuck with all his books in his backpack, saved me and destroyed the car

wat? English?
>>
>>682763230
you're anonymous. show us the boat the man fell out of.
>>
>>682769670
He was banging me and in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>>
>>682769451
I prolly would've laughed at first but I'm just the kind of person who sobers up when someone I know is hurt.
>>
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>Be 5
>Jumping on couch like an autist
>slip and land face first into glasz table
>fucking shards embedded in my forhead

The scars from the stiches have since been moved up more into my head as i grew.
>>
>>682768848
>>>682758898
>On mobile and tldr to green text
>Essentially went swimming on abandoned train bridge in my town with my bud and we would jump off medium height into the water.
>Well one day we decide to climb to the top and jump off. After the first jump we realize water hurts onv impact from that height, but keep going. What ended up happening is after a few rounds you get exhasuted and plus your grip slides, i fell at least12 feet, barely missed a bunch of spikey iron rods coming out of the water, cut my back up really bad.all in all was really lucky but i never went back

Wait, do you live in southern Ontario region? 905 perhaps
>>
>>682769791
Nah you would prob yell out KEK and post hurt anon for /b/ to see
>>
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>>682769304
>>
>Be 16 senior year hs. Play football starting DT.
>Have coach from Varsity Blues.
>Month in, doc says I have a slight hernia, take two weeks off.
>Coach says no. See his doctor or ride bench rest of the season.
>His Dr clears me to play. One week out.
>Coach happy. Has his best lineman back.
>Back after 1 week. Feel ok. Trainer has me hoped up on pain killers.
>1st quarter of game, teammate gets thrown into me, snaps my leg in half. Tibia broke in 3. Fibula in half.
>Spend 2 weeks in hospital and 3 surgeries to fix. Now have a rod and 4 screws in leg.

Cont...
>>
>>682769761
> he

What a win this story has become.

Srry femanon, by that is just many as hell. The kid from that sex would've been a warrior of legend.

Also, kind of hot
>>
>>682769607
yeah well i didn't know what those things were dr. buzzkill
>>
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>>682769966
WTF DID UR WHOLE TOE TURN BLACK??
>>
> Be me, aged 16, skateboarder
> Be filming for a local sponsor, warm up tricks down 3 stair, NPNP
> Warmup inward heelflip down said steps, every go trick.
> Land toes down on the board
> Snap achilles tendon completely
> Snap almost every ligament in foot/ankle area
> Calf muscle at front of shin.jpeg.
> Not the end..Also have 4 broken bones in foot.
> Ankle both sides broken, popped out of skin on inner ankle, sock from white to pink
> In so much pain, crying etc.. punch floor, break hand too.
> Get to hospital
> 3 surgeries to repair leg/ankle
> Wheelchair for 6 months
> Crutches for next 2 years
> Physiotherapy every week ever since.
> Be me, aged 28 now... Still walk with a limp, foot/ankle will not move at all sidewards, only up and down.

Don't skate folks, even if you're good, nothing good can come from it.
>>
>>682769916
If it were me maybe. I don't post family on the chan dude.

Personal policy.
>>
>>682770061
This is why kids should be inside playing vidya.

Kek
>>
>>682769978
Haha it's alright my bro, he brags about it to this day.
>>
>>682769791
I hear ya. [under normal circumstances]

But I raised my daughter to know all the words to the Rocky Horror Picture Show before she could sing the Barney's theme.

>kid brains are like sponges
>>
>Rolling off of my bed in the morning
>Land my foot on the corner of this pipe thing that my mom left near my bed
>Rip off ~2x1 cm of skin from the bottom of my foot
>Like literally all of the skin, to the meat
>took a long ass fucking time to heal, because it was slowly closing off from the sides

I also kinda broke my arm once, but that wasn't even interestng.
>>
>>682770040
Oh, what's that? Maybe it's because you're a dude and never got those things???

Now you know, Mr DumbiePants III
>>
>>682770061
Wicked story.

10/10
>>
>>682758898
>be me around 8 years old
>drive around town on a bicycle
>Somehow mess up and touch the curb
>fall down
>one of the handlebars rams into my stomach with me falling into it
>hurts like hell but shake it off
>at home, suddenly start puking on the floor
>go to hostital, turns out I ruptured my pancreas
>weeks of hospital with surgery ensue
>>
>>682770234
But Rocky HPS is cancer
>>
>>682766219
what kind of fucking drugs are you on
>>
I stepped on a (still powered) soldering iron. Was in summer and gets hot so was barefoot, walked into a room where my dad was soldering and left the iron on the floor because cheap and didn't want to burn the table. Didn't see it and stepped right on it. Massive bubble-like blister and couldn't walk for a few days. Did the same thing a few years later but put my hand on a table full of tools and a hot iron at work. We bought a proper solder station after the first incident
>>
>>682769975
>2 months later start walking.
>Thanksgiving. Jpeg
>Feeling sick. Appendectomy.
>Ruptures during surgery.
>Hospital fucks up.
>End up with septicemia/peritonitis/pneumonia/collapsed lung.
>Flown to Children's Hospital in SD.
>Given Nuclear Weapons Grade Rx. Kills everything.
>Now have scar from sternum to waist.

From Sept to Nov. I had 5 fucking surgeries.
>>
>>682767238
>TUMBLR
>>
>>682758898
>be walking
>foot stress fracture
>>
>>682769966
Looks like its wearing a plum, im glad mines not like that, any problems with the new nail? Ingrown edges or stupid tiny nail?
>>
>>682770292
TY, i could've said about when the doctor told me i had to take a step on it before i could leave hospital a few weeks later. Ankle gave out on me, fell over and smashed my head on the desk and knocked myself out.
>>
>>682767975
did that nail damage your thought processing
>>
>>682759267
That's what you get for trying to be healthy, faggot
>>
>>682770510
Fucking shitty high school coaches.

wtf was he thinking. Jesus.
>>
>>682760878
fuuuuck
>>
>be me
>riding bike downhill
>all of a sudden dog
>slam on brakes because don't want to hit
>do front flip
>land on face
>broken jaw and road rash on side of my face
Other story
>mom cooking
>standing there in shorts
>pan slides off stove
>ohshit.jpg
>hot grease splashes over both of my legs
>feeltheburn
>>
>>682770329
Well she does need a mammogram now..

>>682770382
BOOTSTRAPS MOTHERFUCKER
Was self employed young and didn't need no Gov't assistance.
Paying for it now. Trouble walking 20 years later.

>wheelchair bound
>take heed anons
>>
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>making black powder
>come back from waiting untill its ready
>grab my spatula
>grab pan and put it off heat
>directly scrape the dried black powder off the pan
>250 gram batch ignites in my face
>my face burned first and second degree
>hand burned second degree completely
>had to go to a specialized burnwound hospital 6 times
>mfw
>>
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>>
>>682770664
not as bad as cannabis prohibition did
>>
>riding motorcycle to work like any other day
>lady on cell phone in on coming lane clips me
>right leg broken instantly from crushing impact with ground
>find out later bone broke threw skin
>end up rolling with bike and getting right leg pinned between guard rail and exhaust of bike
>can't reach ignition and I end up blacking out from pain while my bone and leg cook.
>wake up to a trucker and cop pulling me from bike and guard rail
>try to stand up and just fall over, look down to see leg is barely attached at the knee and bone sticking out
>rushed to hospital leg is saved but severely fucked up
>skin and muscle transplant reconstructive surgery plastic surgery
>no feeling in leg below my knee
>next to no movement in foot or toes
>spend 3 years in a god damn wheel chair
>over $150,000 in medical bills

Lady didn't even stop, she got arrested a week later. No fucking insurance. Really wish they would have just cut my leg off, would have been cheaper. Sex is borderline terrible now too. Not to mention my leg is basically skin from my ass
>>
>>682770839
He was more concerned with State Championship. The morning after the game he came to my hospital room. He says, "Hey, I just had my Dr take a look at your xrays. He thinks you can be back by play offs. See what your dr says."

My wrestling coach had to let me play trainer until I healed so I could be on the roster it took so long to heal.
>>
>>682771263
So you just showed us a picture of your ass. thanks.
>>
>>682759776
>is sad because of no friends
>browses /b/
>retard
>>
>be me
>9 years old
>playing wind in the trees
>born with a cartilageonous cancer that makes my left leg grow short and crooked
>Almost to the other side of the gym
>baseball slide into the wall, leg snaps like a twig
>the pain is excruciating
>it's nothing compared to what is coming
>was going to get an external fixator in a year or so
>get one in a few weeks because they were going to break my leg anyways
>pins into my bone through my skin attached to frames, frames attached together with struts
>every day I get my struts turned, they pull my leg apart
>this hurts a lot
>I also have to get my pin sites cleaned, vigorously scrubbed to remove pus and blood build up
>the nights are the worst
>it hurts enough that I can barely go to sleep, and when I do I have nightmares
>I jerk awake sometimes, and that feels like lightning running up my body
This lasted three months, and I had to have it done twice more after that.
>>
>>682771199
:(
>>
>>682760295
dude SEE A DOCTOR
>>
>>682771263
Forgot first picture is from where my bone broke through my skin. That is after all the surgery. Before it was a big scar about 7 inches from foot to knee and 4 inches wide.

This picture is of my knee after surgery
>>
I got battery acid in my eye when I was 12
>>
>>682771522
>three months
Eight months, actually
>>
>>682771199
Trip dubs witnessed

>not as bad as cannabis prohibition did
Burn your brain with opioids?
Been there. Won't take them now because I'm an evil criminal that occasionally smokes weed for pain relief.
>>
help
>>
>>682758898
Was riding trails when i was like eight

Cased a double

flipped into a tree stump

Seized

woke up screaming


kept going from screaming to blacking out

My head has chunk gone now

No skull fracture

it was more like I got scalped

pretty gnarly


But riding trails at 4 foot tail in no gear will result in bad things
>>
>>682771771
greenstick. you'll survive.
>>
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>be me 13
>climb super tall tree
>look down
>ohshitwhathaveidone.mov
>trip and fall
>land on wrist
>wrist bone sticking out like an assassin's creed blade
>6 months of pain then surgery
>>
>>682772006
ouch
>>
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>be me, 13 year old ausfag fucking around with an air rifle back when they were legal
>little brother playing with the air rifle while i was setting up the targets that we were shooting
>brother "accidentally" presses trigger
>shoots me in ass with sharp bullet loaded
>had to go to emergency room to get the ass bullet dug out from my ass cheeck
>mfw it went almost 1.5cm into my ass
>>
>>682771771
Fap with your other hand.

You're welcome.
>>
>>682766219
wat?
>>
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>>682771522
>>
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>>682772082
> ass bullet
>>
>>682772006
> cool story
> best girl

You're ok in my book anon
>>
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Neck wound, goes to my windpipe.
>>
Stepped on a Lego at 2 in the morning.
>>
>>682772293
Cool scar, shame you're a fat :(
>>
>>682772293
How did it happen?
>>
>>682772443
fat ass

lel
>>
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>>682772308
common man. jesus.
>>
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>>682771522
>>
>>682760352
You deserved it faggot
>>
>>682772293
Sure it's just not left over chocolate? Also Lance that shit off that's under your second chin
>>
I blew out my asshole on a fishing trip
Damn grouper gave me a compound hernia

Loud fart and my asshole fell out

But being an angler comes with a risk

still caught the fish
>>
>>682772443
I'm not really fat. And I'm losing weight. I'm right about 200lbs and 5'10" right now. That's just a bad angle.

>>682772505
Nobody ever believes me, but I got it from a machete. Almost lost my thumb in the same attack, too.
>>
>>682768639

> be me
> be 12
> a wild testicular torsion appears
> go to hospital
> urologist says its only an infection, iv antibiotics
> stay at hospital over the weekend as I arrived on saturday
> monday comes, meet children's doc
> takes a look at my testicle that's now the size of an orange
> "You need surgery NOW"
> goto surgery and wake up the next evening confused as fuck
> right nut basically shrunk away
> got 45k € compensation because of the uroogist's malpractice

I guess my left nut got superpowers since I have 4 kids now.
>>
>>682759339
Was a disaster even worth it anon
>>
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> I was playing around some Subway construction (7yo)
>fell
>tried to grab something to stop form falling
> grab to a fucking iron bar that cuts the palm of my hand in half and almost reached to the tendon
>>
>>682772825
I bet that feels good when you rub your dick
>>
>Go to a college party
>Get back at home at like 3 am
>Keep drinking and get fairly drunk
>Decide in my drunk stupor 4 am is the perfect time to make hamburgers
>Go out to light the grill
>Go inside to prep meat
>When I get back outside the coals are dying
>Blow on coals to get them going again
>The 50+ pound lid of my grill falls on my head and hand
>Blood is everywhere and my friends are freaking out
>My only concern is making the hamburgers
>>
>>682772776
sure you did.
>>
>>682758898
On my last tour of Afghan, was in a warrior when it was hit by an IED.
Out of five of us in the vehicle only one other survived, I lost both legs and an eye, I also have a "cloud" on my brain (shows up as a dark patch on scans), I have headaches now and come here for the Rekt threads.
The M.O. says I have a personality disorder, PTSD and survivors guilt.
I am now pensioned off, 14 years a Royal Marine and now I'm nothing but an angry cripple, my life is over, I am 33 years old.
>>
>>682772776
Angry Haitians?

I almost took machete to the face
back in 98

Fucking voo doo using assholes always wanna chop someones arm off
>>
>>682772945
Fatty tripped on his machete LARPing...
>>
>Be me 11/12 yo
>at school, gonna do some shit with hot melted glue stuff
>Decide to empty the glue gun
> 1/4 melted glue stick accidentally drips on my hand and my sweater
>have to rip off my sweater from my hand
>feelsbadman.jpg
>>
>>682772776
> is fat
> is working on it

I take it back bro. Good on ya. Keep working hard.

Cheers.
>>
>>682760295
Do you have Vietnam type flashbacks?
>>
> be me, 12 years old
> play with gun
> kill myself
>>
>>682772990
Don't know. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time apparently. Got attacked, it was a short skinny black guy, got fucked up, and lost consciousness pretty fucking fast. Luckily someone saw the thing happen and I got first aid and an ambulance got to me in time.
>>
>>682772984
That sucks man.
>>
>>682772984
have you tried hard drugs?

Sounds fucked

My pops was a vet

worked with agent orange

came home with some purple hearts

Was a maniac

I grew up with out the guy

Im know schizophrenic

Like full on voices non stop


Its like I inherited the fucking war from the prick
Your cock still work?
>>
>>682773196
definitely Haitian
>>
>>682768377
Nigga what >:]
>>
>>682773250
He died of cancer when i was a teen
as well

smoked a lot

Guy at the funeral said it was the agent orange that got em

I wonder if that why my mind has always been fucked

Like his fucking dna got shifted by the stuff and fucked me right good
>>
.22 round below left knee, broke both collar bones at the same time, and broke my back at T-4 over the years, other than that I've broken most of my fingers and toes, one wrist, a tibia, minor skull fracture, and numerous concussions. As far as pain, collar bones were the worst, healing for the back took the longest, may even be life-long as there are still some issues.
>>
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>be young me
>bicycle everywhere, all the time
>breakingaway.mov
>pedaling through town
>t-boned by a greaser in a hot rod Chevy Nova
>go flying through the air, land hard on pavement
>small chunk of meat missing from left leg
>bike is kill
>Chevy has smashed hood and grill
>sent home from hospital on crutches, left leg doesn't work
>hobble around on crutches for a day, fuck this shit
>have mom take me to bike shop, buy new bicycle
>spend a day setting it up, pulling components from wrecked bike, etc.
>learn to prop against a wall, get on to bike, lift leg into toeclip, pedal with right leg
>riding everywhere again, use bike as rolling crutch in stores, etc.
>was probably the best rehab possible for left leg
still have the bike, and just a small scar on the leg
>>
>>682759267
>two weeks later
>not in cast
You must be American.
>>
>>682769503
I bet you never play sport ball you fag
>>
>>682758898
>be me
>sunny day
>go to friends school
>somehow one of my friends brought a 3liter can of methylated spirits
>start playing with it
>pour some on shoe
>do epic fire kick
>tell him to pour more on

at this point the fumes were up in my denim jeans. These fumes are highly flammable, and there was still a small flame, but invisible due to the sun.

>pours more on
>explosion.webm
>the entire can flies away with 200mph
>fire starts in my leg
>jump around trying to put it out, nope.gif
>lift up jeans
>shin is totally white
>nope.jpeg
>drop pants
>1. 2. & 3rd degree burns on entire leg from knee down
>police arrives
>tell me I wont be getting a fine for setting a fire, he thought "I learned my lesson"
>spend next 8 hours on hospital with leg under water
>worst pain ever
>>
>>682773491
shit

I just broke a wrist

and took some chunks outa my head

you guys got fucked up
>>
>>682773433
Can we at least see the stumps?

Post pics and timestamp plz.
>>
>be me
>step on nail
>goes through foot
>>
>>682773589
Replying to the wrong post, you must not be...
>>
I was in Calcutta playing Taiwanese baccarat
Lost a bet
Man chopped off my big toe
still limping
>>
>>682772984
Pics or it didn't happen.
>>
Testicular torsion at like 8 years old. Ignored it for like a whole day and then the next morning went to GP who said we should have gone to the ER like yesterday. Like being punched in the nuts but slowly building from nothing all the way up to that sick feeling in your stomach. Not too bad though. Sprayed axe body spray in a chimney time fire pit thing and lit it, fireball really burned the tops of a couple fingers and got a couple other ones too. It was pretty painful but it healed up at home. Recently held a big car key over stove burner and branded my chest real fuckin good. Gashed my thigh open pretty deep with a kakbar Becker bk2 most recently. Didn't mean to do it that deep but one quick flick of the wrist with it pressed against my leg was all it took, I underestimated how sharp I had gotten it.
>>
>>682773250
Girlfriend couldn't put up with me any more, no kids, don't want any now.
No hard drugs except the ones the doctors give me.
Cock still works fine, no opportunity to use it, don't fap, tablets might be a part of that.
I still go out with my mates but everyone pointedly doesn't mention my injuries.
Went to the remembrance service at my local war memorial last year and people were looking uncomfortable I was there, one old boy came over and told me he had more medals than me.
>>
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>>682773623
How it looks today
>>
>>682773680
This happened to me once as well. Had my tetanus thankfully.
>>
>>682761646
Fucking fire ants man.
>be me
>new orleans
>halloween parade on canal st.
>sandals
>drinking enjoying parade
>all of a sudden blinding pain from my right foot
>wtf.jpg
>look down
>my foot is covered
>every inch in fire ants
>almost pass out fron pain
>dump beer all over foot
>go home and ice it
>cant sleep
>cant walk for three days without cane
>>
>>682773853
>ignored it for a day

No. Testicular torsion is a medical emergency and kills your balls in six hours.
>>
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>>682769034
The doctor probably thought it was impossible to get to the age of 12 without knowing how your own dick works. If this is true you are literally retarded and you don't deserve a penis.
>>
>be me
>decide to race w/bikes with a friend
>it's on a steep hill
>I count to three and then we go
>friend makes false start
>now try to overtake him as fast as I can
>40 Kph on a bike
>suddenly a corner
>goes well
>second corner
>fail to control bike
>hold onto bike but sliding across concrete
>5 meters + I finally stip
>arms and legs bleeding
>suddenly the bike (it's standing up) starts to fall
>NONONONONONONONONO
>Steering wheel hits me in my side
>went home
>recovered quickly
>>
>>682773942
Well I did and that's what I had. My balls are fine now, doctor.
>>
>>682773848
I know what you'll say, but I'm not going to be a freakshow on here for the rest of time with pictures of my stumps to amuse or even prove some shit to you.
Think what you want, type what you want.
Fuck you mate, this happened.
>>
>>682773714
That's the right post faggot. That photo of the foot is supposed to be two weeks after it happened. Last line.
>>
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>>682773623
>>682773869

Burns are the worst
>>
>girl at school jokingly calls me an autist
>natural fucking autistic reaction is to pretend to kick her in back of head
>go to fake kick
>somehow fuck up and knee myself in the chin fracturing three of my teeth
>can't eat properly for 4 weeks
>>
>>682772984
Not a Britbong, but thanks for your service dude.

Sorry I can't offer anything else but cheap words.
>>
>>682770931
sauce?
>>
>>682774123
Sure buddy.
I too lost 3543 buddies in Nam and lost 3 legs, 5 arms and my left ass cheek.
I know how you feel.
>>
>>682774074
Torsion can be complete or partial. The 6 hours rule is just a guide. Ball can die from 4 hours onwards and sometimes just sneak just enough blood to be maintained. Hurts like shit though.
>>
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>>682773869
>>
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>>682758898
>be 14
>drunk and stoned at midnight
>buddy says he's got munchies
>lightbulb.bmp
>we can make popcorn
>pour excessive amount of oil in popper, pour in kernels
>when popper is filled with delicious-smelling treat, pick up and flip over
>excess hot oil spills on foot
>giant third-degree burn on big toe
>too high and drunk to tell parents asleep upstairs
>just hope it goes away on its own
>instead it gets infected, have to go to hospital two days later
>massive scar
>>
>>682774352
Like I said...
>>
>>682774244
you showed her
>>
>>682760377
Oh shit nigga that scab part hooked me right in the jimbos.

> be me like 14 and retarded
> go down big ass hill on a razor scooter with no shoes or socks on
> hill ends in cul-de-sac with construction
> get going fast as shit, get scared and apply brake
> shitty little metal friction brake gets too hot for my retarded bare foot
> hit the curb at the end of the road going ~30MPh
> took out a mailbox with my body and hit the porch on this house
> thought I got my arm almost ripped off and crying like a bitch but it was only dislocated
Minor cuts and bruises otherwise
>>
>>682769966
>>
>be me, 13 year old horn dog
>always swim at town pool every sumner.
>me and my mates love doing stupid shit on the diving board.
>made up stupid retarded dives and cannonballs - called them 'scrom bombs'
>idea.jpg make up new dive called the 'iceblock'
>You dive head first into water, arms at your sides like a fucking concrete pillar.
>jump off board and do the ice block.
>most perfect dive ever, no resistance, no splash, olympic gold medal shit.
>dive is so swish that I faceplant and hitand grind my teeth on pool floor
>now teeth are all nubs
>still hear the sound of my teeth grinding on concrete 20 years later...and always flinch when the memory randomly haunts me.
>>
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>>682769966
Forgot fucking pic
>>
>1994
>Be 7
>Father died when I was 3
>Mother just divorced an abusive child molester who nearly killed her and my older sister
>Mom has a boyfriend within 3 months
>Meeting him for the first time at his house for dinner
>He has dog
>I liked dogs
>Mom explains this may not be the friendliest dog
>Buys a bone to give to the dog to make friends
>Meet boyfriend
>He seems really nervous, doesn't have kids of his own
>Meet dog
>Rhodesian ridgeback
>Dog decides chicken is better than bone
>Boyfriend yells at dog for stealing the food
>I decide to hug the dog because he was yelled at
>Dog freaks
>Whole world is blurry for a few seconds
>Face hurts
>lots of blood
>lots of adults screaming and yelling
>Everything goes dark
>In a vehicle
>Hear the boyfriend ask if my mom wants his house
>Mom says no
>Get to hospital
>Everything else is blurry
>Woke up in my bed


The dog ripped the left side of my face open. 180 stitches. It didn't require any reconstructive surgery luckily. A lot of scars on the side of my face but you can't see them if I have facial hair. I completely forget about them until people ask. Mom ends up marrying the boyfriend and he becomes my new Dad. Me and him become best friends. I don't hold anything against him.
>>
>>682760282
Just exactly how speedy were you?
>>
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>lost my marbles
>thought people were out to kill me
>jumped off a highway bridge
>broke many bones
>miraculously, can still walk and make full use of all of my limbs
>walk away from the hospital with only a slight limp
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected
>>
>>682775566
Are you on antipsychotics now?
>>
>>682775769
Yes.
>>
>>682760138
That's just shitty :/
Sorry, Anon.
>>
>>682775459
Fucking ridgebacks man. Your dad shoulda known not to have you met him right away.
>>
>>682760282
Oh...wow
>>
>>682758898

>Absolutely suck at gymnastics in high school - do it frosh year only but keep practicing shit on my own.
>College club is chill - go in for first day of season determined to learn circles
>Get on mushroom and keep pushing my body weight farther and farther over my hand to in desperation
>Hear loud snap (first day of season - didn't build up wrists yet)
>Eyes go blurry, ears go deaf, head goes dizzy, lots of pain.
>Oops.jpg
>Don't fucking make a sound, don't react. Just spend the rest of practice quietly stretching and trying not to black out or vomit as the pain doesn't abate and my vision is half black.
>Go to hospital after and get x-ray
>Metacarpal snapped clean in half almost entirely longitudinally
>The GPs all convinced I need surgery but send me to a specialist
>Specialist says I need nothing, not even a splint, just a piece of tape to keep the finger from twisting as it heals. Also I can keep using it for normal tasks
>Wtf.
>>
Climbed a metal wire gate back at school when I was 6. got to the top clipped a jagged edge. Came down to see the bone in my hand. 12 stitches and 6 needles later...
>>
>Be me 8th grade
>After football my nuts hurt
>decide to sleep it off
>go to scholo
>it still hurts so I get called out
>go to hospital
>have testicular torsion
Fucking sucked
>>
>>682775843
Honestly he knew the dog could be aggressive. I'm not the first or second person he had bitten. This was before the laws that we have now where they euthanize a dog just for looking aggressive.
>>
>>682776625
Reminds me of venture bros
>>
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>be me
>be 12
>develop a cold/cough
>weeks pass, it doesn't get better
>eh, I get sick all the time
>school holidays coming up, fuck yes
>Friday, go to scouts, notice I'm breathing a little heavily
>Saturday night, go to bed, can't lay down or I stop breathing
>sleep on the lounge with head propped up
>Sunday, can't move much because it's starting to hurt, go to dad's place (parents split up)
>taking painkillers
>Monday, still laying on the lounge
>haven't eaten in 4 days
>only drank water with painkillers
>spend entire day on the lounge almost overdosing on painkillers
>that night, dad calls a locum
>it's pneumonia lol, have fun bye
>dad makes me change out of my PJ's before going to hospital
>moving arm at all hurts like fuck, takes 10 minutes to change shirt
>several hours of waiting later, admitted to ward
>surgery the next day, they stuck a tube into my back to drain my lung
>it wasn't working
>2-3 days later, more surgery, they take it out and put two more in (picture is these two scars)
>spend 9 days in intensive care before going to adolescent ward
>doctors said I had 20% lung capacity when I was admitted, was using oxygen masks for two straight weeks
>spend 23 days in hospital
>missed the school holidays
>fml
>also nearly died but w/e
>>
>>682776817
I like ridgebacks but they are not children dogs lol. Bastards were used to tree lions, they are tough bastards
>>
>be me
>on an MTB
>right hand on steer
>left hand on phone with geocache compass
>just 400m
>turn right here
>proceed to turn right on a crossroad
>a bit speedy, because why not
>take turn, velocity makes my bike tilt to the inside of the corner
>that's normal
>sudden 10cm high edge appears midturn
>hit it at 45°
>bike flips around so that the left side is above the ground
>slam phone-first into the road
>phone has a little dent at the bottom because near nokia 3310 strength
>long and deep cut in the edge of my hand
>probably a rock
>get bandage from nearby house
>go to hospital
>get leg wounds cleaned and disinfectef
>cut on hand glued shut
I still have a very visible scar even though this was ~8 months ago

6 months ago:
>outdoor sports with the gang
>tree climbing/freerunning in forest
>climb fallen tree real fast
>sit on the highest branch
>branch suddenly snaps a little but does not fall off
>i plunge backwards, headfirst to the ground
>hands above my head hit branches, causing my body to rotate
>hit ground back-first after 3, maybe 4 meter fall
>cuts all along my hands and wrists, still visible

That's about every injury.
I've done a lot of things that caused major muscle soreness.
This one time i couldn't normally walk stairs for three days.
I'm a bit of an outdoor medium-extreme sports and not in a bad shape, it could've been a lot worse.
>>
>>682758898
http://www.strawpoll.me/10134397
>>
I once broke my wrist, anally fisting my sister
>>
>playing basketball friends
>ONLY time i decided to wear low tops while playing
>ONLY time i decide to actually play and not fuck about
>friend shoots the ball, misses, i catch the rebound
>mind you i jumped incredibly high for a white guy
>come down on my right ankle completely sideways
>take your ankle, ankle, and move it all the way to thhe right
>all 165 pounds landed on the sideways ankle
>hear a popping sound followed my immediate 11/10 ten pain
>never broke a bone before so i think i just sprained it
>get home 30 minutes later, top of my right foot swelled up the size of a baseball
>turns out i broke my pinky toe, but the actual bone connecting to my pinky toe was broken
>doctor basically told me "because of the spot it was broken in, you WILL break it again in the near future
>have to be careful walking on un-even ground for the rest of my life now
>happened 2 months ago, foot still hurts sometimes in certain positions, and after work

i guess moral of the story is wear high tops while playing basketball.
>>
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>>682760958
Your doctor is fucking retarded. He cut into you without anaesthesia? SUE THE FUCKER!
>>
>>682766219
I once had a schizophrenic friend who thought she was a pig at times. One night she had a bout of psychosis and wandered off into the night. It had been raining all day, and I found her by the local pond, rolling in the mud, and I tried to talk her into coming home. She just stopped rolling, looked up, and started oinking at me; I had no idea what she was trying to say. However, I think back to that night now, and I realize that her oinks made more sense than your comment does.
>>
dislocated my shoulder playing rugby

but the funny part was at the time we had john blain #68 offense working at our school so when i got tackled and it popped out he came over to help

blain is huge so he shoves it back in but he does it wrong and it pinches a nerve and i do some sort of breakdancing move (spinning in a circle on the ground in writhe mode) of pain till i pass out then they redislocated it and then popped it back in proper
>>
>>682777293
pussy
>>
Got slammed by a Hummer at an intersection who ran a red light. Surprisingly I walked always with bumps and bruises.
>>
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>>682764376
kek
>>
>>682777777
>>
>>682776928
I've also dealt with ingrown toenail infections all my life until I had surgery on them at 15-16. Now 20 and one of the nails still grows crooked because the doctor did a shit job burning the root.

Fractured my wrist when I was ~9. Was on a wobbly bridge on the school playground and a much bigger kid jumped on the other end. Wheee, splat.

When I was ~3 (so I don't remember this one much, just being on the bed then falling), my sister and I were jumping on her bed and I fell off. Smacked head on corner of slightly open drawer. Had a cut, and since it was my head, could see bone. Don't remember much else.

So many stories of other kids tripping me at school (I was unpopular) and falling off my bike. The worst one would've been when someone tripped me on gravel and I had a graze about 5x7cm across. Kept it wrapped in a bandage for a while. Kept peeling it every few hours for shits and giggles, watching how the scab grew into the bandage. (At the time, my reasoning was that if I stopped it from healing into the bandage, it would be less hassle later. Realistically, just made it scar and take longer to heal.)

Got a scar on my thumb (it shows really well on fingerprints) from when I was in primary school and opened a tin of pineapple pieces. Sliced my thumb on the tin lid. Wasn't particularly bad, but pineapple juice in the cut made it sting like a motherfucker.

I've had a pretty shit time with injuries, really. That's probably not all of the major ones, just the ones off the top of my head.
>>
>>682777843
Oh, I also broke a finger at work last year by hitting it on a box some dumbass left leaning on a handrail. Thought it was sprained for two weeks, went to the doctor because I was sick, doctor said it was sprained.
>>
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>>682775339
top kek
>>
>>682777293
>'mericunt detected
Americans giving birth always get anaestethics by default.
In europe women are asked if they want that, and they often decline or give birth at home (i was born at home because why the hell not).
Dentists never put you under full anaestethics, only locally, you're always awake.
My dentist even asks me if i want it, i always decline, but when i'm in a lot of pain i ask them to do it anyway, he gives me a shot near the place he's working on, and a few minutes later i can't feel 1/4 of my mouth.
>>
>>682778006
*broken
>>
>>682758898
>be me
>retarded 9 yo
>at summer camp
>made a new friend
>never had that many friends
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
>notice roundabout is shut down
>"too unsafe for kids"
>lawful good fag kids we were go on the see-saw
>don't wanna be on it anymore
>make like I'm getting off
>he thinks I want to go way up
>get pushed up as I was getting off
>fall and broke my arm in 2 places
>iirc they took away the see-saw too cause they don't understand kids are retarded
(or can't convince others parents kids are retarded)
>>
>>682771522
Jesus, dude, I just would have had the fucking thing amputated.
>>
>>682758898
>be 10 yo me
>running around with brother playing hero vs monster
>jumping around on slippery floor
>do hero landing
>bad landing
>my left knee decides to take a trip
>cannot fix my dislocated knee
>cry
>brother freaks out
>cry
>wait for 3 hours with my fucked up knee till my parent got home
my knee got dislocated pretty often after that day.
Shit inglish, but that was my worst injury.
>>
>>682760932
Kekkkkles
>>
>>682772776
Proud of you for working on losing weight homie.
>>
>>682758898
Accidently grabbed a piece of steel that was really hot. Seared the palmnof my hand but I became an honaray Russian afterward. So its kind of worth it.
>>
>>682759339
Big bitch pussy like tony romo
>>
>>682777319
You couldn't understand her and yet you're the only one who couldn't understand my comment.

Seeing the pattern there Fuckhead?
>it's you
>>
>>682778288
Thats just retarded, why would you opt to feel the pain?
>>
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This wasnt worst but its funny
>be me
>7 years old
>have a sweet ass 50$ walmart bike
>decide it needs to be put into maximum overdrive
>have huge ass hill on my street that ends in a culdesac
>"hey it would be cool to get a stick and pretend I'm a paperboy"
>get big stick and begin down the hill
>still holding both handles while holding stick
>75% down the hill when I decide to throw the stick/newspaper like a good paperboy
>never even thought about if I could ride a bike with one hand let alone going at extreme speeds
>violently fall off and get road rash across my entire calf
>mfw when its that blacky extremely rocky and not smooth asphalt
>mfw my friends mom put sticky gauze on it and I had to forcefully peel it off
>>
>>682775769
Wish I was on them
>>
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Upper Mandible completely detached and then screwed back to my face. Almost died of blood loss.
>>
>>682780594
Too expensive?

I would avoid them if I could.
>>
both of my ear piercings got infected, like usper infected

took 3 years just to get the swelling down... but even now it still has lumps
>>
>>682781388
Probably not "fucked up" enough
Only 16, but I get manic depressive bouts, sometimes melancholic depressive bouts, more commonly go into rages and hit walls, even more commonly I self harm, also suicidal thoughts, disinterest in value of my life etc etc

I mean, I've got multiple mates that reckon I should beg for them, to stop myself from offing myself in a rage for some reason before life gets better.

I'm only 16 and can't handle life, and stress. What the fuck do i do when I'm 30 with double the worries?
>>
>>682781805
Tsk tsk... gotta keep that shit clean silly
>>
>>682781857
> 16

Underage b&

You fool
>>
>>682782288
IP changes every time I cycle connection on mobile data
>you fool

See? A normal person would care
I don't care about stuff I should care about.
Why the fuck am I like this.
>>
>be me
>do smack, go sleep
>wake up and friend is on floor and purple
>he is cold
>his work buddies knock on door
>i am confused and incoherent
>police question me about dead body and i am so fucked they call ambulance
>mri shows had stroke
>leave hospital after 3 nights, have to sign a release form as they wanted me to stay
>never do drugs again
>brain is still sore, cant really drink much anymore.
>friend is still dead
>>
Fell out of electric wheelchair, broke both femurs. Have Duchennes MD btw, and surgery on 6 spots from waist down on my legs, now have extreme nerve damage :/
>>
>>682758898
>be 17
>installing a skylight in my bedroom
>up on the roof
>slip
>fall two stories
>shatter my right shoulder
>break 4 ribs
>puncture lung blood spews out my nose can't breath
>pass out
>wake up in ICU with tube down nose
>pain for months
>>
>>682760282
Jesus christ fellow ausfag

i did all my crashes on my full licence

Thats gnarly
>>
>>682782486
\(;-;)/

I surrender. Your autism levels are too much for me.

You win. For now....
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