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Feels thread?
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Feels thread?
>grew up upper-lower or lower-middle class
>both parents teachers, so shit pay
>mom was pretty cool, but dad was abusive
>always hit me for everything I did
>left bruises on me
>wasnt even a drunkard, just an asshole
>hated him all my life
>fast foward to August last year
>be 17
>dad lost a lot of weight despite still being a fat slob
>dropped down from ~300lbs to ~160
>goes to doctor
>stage IV pancreatic cancer
>family is upset, but not me
>still bitter about childhood
>dad slowly deteriorates over the next months
>still tries to do things he did before, like seeing my musicals and plays
>eventually couldn't move
>put in hospital shortly after his birthday in january
>died around 3:00
>he was 57
>i didnt see him 2 weeks before his death
>i refused to see him
>was still angry at him being an abusive asshole
>he had a military burial
>flashfoward to now
>haven't thought about dad much, never really comes up
>browsing r/4chan
>read greentext with pic related
>cry

Anons, despite what you my think, your parents love you. Fucking tell them you love them back before you aren't able to. I'm sorry, Dad, I wasn't the best son, and I know you never directly told me, but you were so proud of everything I did and were always supportive of me. I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you got sick.
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bump
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knew two girls who I loved like sisters but then life changed and I haven't seen them in years, miss them every single day wondering what they're doing now.

had a gf but she died in a car accident a few years ago and I miss her a lot.

I wish I could of told them how much they meant to me but I guess it's too late now.
>>
>>682727348
Aside from girlfriend dying your situation sounds just like the film 5 centimeters per second. I'd highly recommended it if your in the mood for the feels train. Also it's only a little over an hour
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>>682728762
thanks, differently will watch.
>>
shit sucks anon, hope your feeling alright think losing my parents would destroy me. suppose i better share

>be in 6th year (Scottishfag)
>genuinely have aspergers, not anything major wouldn't know there was anything untoward about me unless you were around me much
>abuse drugs to be more outgoing
>loads of ecstasy = depression
>never had a gf, never even a date
> feel like shit
>end up in french class with girl i'd always liked, genuine 9/10, very funny too
>end up talking
>pluck up courage and ask for number, she gives me it
>to much of a fag to ask her on date
>gets to last french class
>ask her out face to face
>she says yes, happiest i've ever been
>comes to day of date, she tells me she can't make it cause she's sick
>ok, organise another time
>same again
>no contact for 3 months, no replies think ill never see her again
>eventually get to see her after 3 months, confront her like an asshole, automatically assume she's making a fool of me
>tells me thats she has depression, mum is bipolar and abusing her, would not let her out of house to see me
>wtf
>she moves out, we end up going out
>never been so happy
>feel insecure, she is well above my level
>generally act like an asshole
>take her for granted, become possessive and and she ends up hating me
>feel paranoid
> break up after 8 months or so
>still love her after 2 years and can't stop thinking about her
>never been on date since

no this isn't really sympathetic to me but I can't believe I still have feelings for someone this long don't think ill get over her anytime soon
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>>682729120
hate to say it but this is so true.
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>>682729120
I fucking hate you
Every fucking time I see this picture, I want to fucking cry and then I hold my dog for an hour.
>>
my life used to be perfect
and i, being an immature asshole, ruined it

i feel nothing but happiness withdrawals tbh, i keep my mind on the past and can't get it off
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>>682726041
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>I miss my Dog
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>>682729025
I hear you, same situation about a year back
>me, hs
>last year, finals week
>writing essay due tomorow, it's like 10:30, family in bed
>get call from close freind
>crying
>says she can't take the stress
>find her at Park
>mascara streaming down cheeks
>she starts crying on my shoulder and I am at a loss for words, as she was always the one in the past who was solid, always the "whatever" Edgy chick
>after like an hour of me being a retard we head back to my house
>I'm trying to comfort her autisticly, as she is obviously going to hurt herself
>daddy issues
>on basement couch
>i some how get it out that me and everyone that we hang out with would truely miss her, and that she is loved
> we make out
> weirdest feeling, as it's sobbing and fucked up
> we keep seeing each other
> like a.month passes of us meeting up and making out and going home
> take her to hs sportsball
> gets more and more distant, as we start getting more intamate.
> stop hearing from her.
> /B/, am I the ass hole that I feel like?
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I've lost 3 dogs in my life, hurts man
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> Deal with depression on/off for 7 years
> Go through many girlfriends
> They all temporarily filling what I need to fix
> On/Off medications
> Find one special person that has rid me of anxiety and depression nearly completely
> Blows me away how it's even possible
> She's married
> Had the courage to tell her to freely leave me and rebuild her marriage
> Knowing soon she will possibly leave me
> I am happy that she will be happy.
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>>682726041
Your daddy was an abusive asshole, and he deserves to be dead.
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>>682731697
Not op, but holy shit thank you for this.
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OP here
I asked for a feels thread, and you guys delivered
Fucking cried my eyes out on all the ones with dogs, plus basically all othe rest.
I love you /b/
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my best friend overdosed and I haven't been the same without her, don't really care about anything or have emotions anymore.
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>>682726041
Guy's I'm giving up. The one chance I had at getting out of this situation and I fucked up royalty.
>be me
>in community college because parents thought it would be cheaper
>the college is run by a bunch of shills who purposely fucked you over so you cant graduate in 2 years
>tell me not to take chem 1st semester because it would be too difficult with my 15 other credits
>find over half way through the semester that I need that course to get into micro bio
>can't move on with all the friends I made the first semester
To graduate on time I find I need to pass Chem second semester, take micro over the summer and then I'll be all good
>first test, get 91. Think this shits easy
>start slacking off in chem to focus on other classes
>get 56 on second test, couldn't fucking believe it
Decide I'll study harder for next test. Only need a 73 to get C average
>today, third test get a fucking 50. Don't understand, I thought I did decent
>now impossible to fix grades
>can't take micro this summer
>was going to look at 4 years schools over the summer
>want transcripts
>know no college will accept me if I have a D
>had a 3.2 GPA 1st semester. This will destroy it.
>don't know how to tell parents
>they were so proud with all my other grades
I can't take an extra year at this shit hole college. I don't know what to do anymore. This makes me just want to give up.
>>
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>>682734132
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>>682733921
just retake the class dummy, your grades will gt overwritten.
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Speaking of greentexts, does anybody remember a story about a guy playing video games with his girlfriend and friend? They end up flirting, and when the boyfriend objects to it, they tell him to leave the room and fuck.

Anyone have a screenshot of that?
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>>682735802
these two stories always break my heart..
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>>682733758
One step left:
>Kill yourself faggot
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>>682736653
>>
ok imma post mine for once
> be 16
> work at theatre
> new girl starts today
> lets call her J
> she instantly catches my eye
> we seem to kick it off pretty well and i am falling for her
>fast forward a month and i am sprung, she is just perfect
> at this point we are really close, whenever we work together we stand really close to each other and flirt but only indirectly
> we both know we like each other but i am too beta to make a move
> after a week of planning i decide i'll ask her out next shift
> next shift she doesn't show up or call in
> this goes on for a week until i ask a manager about her and find out she quit after i last saw her
> i am crushed and for the next week work just feels sad
> all i can think of is her and its killing me
> after a week i decide to break into the manager's computer to get her full name
> i track her down on facebook but she is private so i find her on ig instead and the stalking begins
> every night i look her up just look at her pics till i fall asleep
> never actually work up courage to contact her because i don't want to seem creepy
> ff a year i just got over her and almost never think about her
> get off train downtown and there she is standing right in front of me smiling the best smile i have ever seen
> as i go to say something she walks right by me without even recognising me
> i am crushed but i follow her and sit infront of her hoping she'll recognise me
> i watch her from behind my sunglasses the whole way
> i want to just sit there forever but her stop comes and she gets off
> i ride the train to the last stop and back then go to work an hour late
> worst shift of my life, all my feelings for her are hitting me again at full power
> go home and look at a pic of her till i pass out
> after a month i realize i'll never see her again and i try to put her behind me
> ff 3 yearsand i am now a pot head
> i haven't seen her since or stalked her
> never loved anyone as much as i loved her
> don't think i ever will
>>
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>>682737516
yeah...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoOUZxWlFlc

song related
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>>682732724
Its amazing how such a small act of kindness can have so big of an impact on someone else's life.
>>
Fuck all you pedophile cis neckbeards. I was just going to pop in for a fun raid. Then I see nothing but some loli child porn, gore, and the worst shit in my life. How do you people live with yourselves. You are all sum bag pedophiles and serial killers in the making. All of you should seriously kill yourselves. Not even joking. Just fucking do it. You are the scum of the entire internet. We will flood this place with good things to get areal the bad out. Fedora wearing fucks
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>shit soaked life anon

I still love you /b/ros, no matter where you are. The copy pasta idiots are not included.
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>>682731697
I haven't cried in so long and this just did it for me, fuck I miss my dog
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>>682733921
Hang in there anon. I am in a similar situation in engineering school. Just keep pressing onward no matter what and never give up. I should have graduated this spring if I had not procrastinated and let earlier failures get to me. Keep going and you'll make it. Good luck
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Long but worth the read
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>>682739022
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-XHh8fRvvo

>tfw knowing you will never be worthy of being truly loved by another person. It's not even feeling sad at this point, just apathy and recognition that you are a failure, both genetically and societally.
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>>682733758
This
All the ones with dogs always get me. I hate yall
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>shit soaked life anon

>>682739708
Damn, that one hits home.

>>682739587
Pic related
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>be me moments ago
>have good fap then look back on feels thread
>remembers how lonely i am
>wipes tear from eye
>gets cum in my eye
>mfw
>>
my life...

I really hope I die in my sleep tonight or might die in a car crash on my way to work...
>>
>>682740386
>I really hope I die in my sleep tonight or might die in a car crash on my way to work...
This hit way too close to home. What is it that makes you wish so much for death?
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>>682740612
I think it reaches the point where we hit a rut where we are stuck in apathy, desiring death but not wanting to die, because we are cowards or whatever other excuse is adequate.
>>
>Be me
>15
>Living with my drunk/unemployed father and bitchy step mother who is barely 5 years older than me out in the middle of Buttfuckingnowhere
>actual mother moved to another state with some jackass
>Very little money at home
>dad would sometimes not be drunk but instead be cool emotionally supportive father figure
>sometimes
>eat only everyother day
>Can't even eat at school because too socially fuck ed up to mention food shortage to school officials
>Everyday I come home to my father lazing on the couch either drunk or passed out
>pray for sleeping dad every damn day
>come home one day to empty couch
>WTF.jpeg
>search for the drunkard
>step mother nowhere to be found
>find him in his bed
>"Lazy fuck didn't even get up"
>leave house to roam randomly for a few hours
>after dark
>fuck it I'm too tired
>go home
>father still in bed
>"He better be fucking dead"
>check for breathing
>nothing
>call 911
>paramedics arrive and check him
>he was dead before I got home earlier
(Cont?)
>>
>>682741048
i'm reading mate
>>
>be me throughout childhood.
>my mother refused to let me have my fathers last name
>growing up between a torn family with my sister
>age 3-5 molested by my aunt, I knew no better, this went on for years.
>around age 5 my dad was sent to prison for trying to kidnap us
>sentence didn't stick and was shortly appealed, he got out clean.
>around age 7 lose contact with father
>grew up hating every man my mother dated, always something about them
>drunks, druggies, abusers, cheaters, liars, slobs, moochers, all of the types.
>I grew up pissed of and begging for attention
>never had good clothes, food was a joke.
>Age 16 sister is due to have her first child.
>drive to hospital to see her, another family is here
>my mother shows up shortly after, she instantly gets pissed off.

Cont?.?
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>>682726041
>pic related
Currently why I'm fucked up right now.
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>>682741048
please do
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>>682731697
I've lost 2. Last one was less than 2 years ago. Next one in less than a year. She's got cancer and she's a smaller-than-average chihuahua.
>>
>shit soaked life anon

>>682741048
Always.
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>tfw still in love with her even though she forgot about me two years ago
>>
>>682736932
its the regret that makes you feel bad
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>>682738603
kys fag
>>
>>682730269
This genuinely had me tearing up.
>>
>>682738603
Welcome I see you already have the character to fit right in.
>>
>>682740612
this >>>682727348
also I have severe depression and anxiety which makes it hard to have friends or connect to people so I usually spend my time alone on 4chan or playing games, I don't know why but I can't enjoy stuff without the people I love but they are so far removed from my life they probably wouldn't even remember me... and ones dead, so I spend my time and money trying to make other people happy, I might not be happy again but at least I can put a smile on someone elses face, right?

everyday I think about the past and how each day takes me further away from the one people I've ever felt that loved me and cared for me(other then my parents) and it breaks my heart and breaks me down more and more each day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4lvCG2jFLM&list=PLQZirZPMm33U1OraOOp0kTeUVd3ilgYv8&index=5 I love you Abigail, I hope you're in a better place now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHoZTMhdqx0 I love you Meaghan and Sami, I hope we can meet again someday.

>songs related

since I shared mine, mind sharing your story?
>>
ok here is my story
>always been through life with dogs
>when i lefy for college i had three dogs
>a 15 yr old lab, 7 yr old zisla, and 1 yr old pitbull
>living on my own facing bad depression
>find out my mom has skin cancer
>get a job to afford shit in college
>every day i eorry about my mom while working
>eventually she gets surgery to remove cancer
>on day my car breaks down before work
>i get to work slightly late but highly stressed
> manager tells me to leave early because i wasnt 'focused'
>30 minutes later my mom calls me
> her cancer is gone
>my 2 year old dog has lung cancer
>no choice but to put him down
now it is 4 months later. my mom is fine but she feels guilty for getting through her cancer when my dog had to be put down. i failed out of college this semester, my parents dont know about that yet and now my old lab is dying and will probably be put down soon. i feel so alone
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>>682741048
(On mobile so bare with me)

>Hear medical men mention a stroke
>father had a stroke the year before so this wasn't surprising
>father did a lot of drugs in his day that fucked with his brain
>left spots in his Grey matter or something like that
>someone contacted my grandma and she came to pick me up a few hours later
>whole two hour ride to her house was completely silent
>she's never this quiet
>finally arrive there
>don't quite remember what happened that night. Just sobbing from the other room
>next day
>everyone she knew was over there by the time I woke up
>condolences from people I've never met
>didn't really care though
>the same thought stayed in my mind
>"He's finally gone."

(Cont?)
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>>682742528
Yes
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>>682742528
Of course, nigger!
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>>682742515
I'm sorry about you dog anon, its awesome that your mom is doing well though, I know things are hard right now but you will get through it, retake your college class and graduate then get a amazing job, I like to think of all the hard times in life as stepping stones to a brighter future, good luck 4chan knows you can do it. faggot
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>>682731053
Not an asshole, but personally, I wouldn't have made out with her
>>
>too tall to hang myself anywhere in this house
>don't know the combination to the gun safe
>no lethal meds
>>
Worst part about my dog dying is that it's happening slowly, out of my control, looming over my head. I'm going to be a fucking mess for probably a full year. Months before and after she passes on or we decide to put her down.
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>>682741694
I understand your pain, my dog has cancer and they said she won't survive the surgery to remove her tumors, I don't know how long she has to live but she's like 11 or 12 now so she lived a pretty good life. but even so it still hurts to lose a pet.
>>
>>682744116
I'm especially worried about my parents. My dad told me that in the 32 years he's known my mom, he's seen her go through the deaths of all her grandparents, her parents' divorce, cousins' deaths, etc. and he's never seen anything hit her this hard.
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>>682742528
(So be it)

>Stay with grand mother for a bit
>still thinking the same thing
>become happier person
>food in my belly and communication with the outside world
>all is good
>after about a month or so, I am moved into my cousins house
>probably happiest time of my life
>cousin was my best friend, he had all of the newest game systems and to top it all off
>Internet
>all of this helps me forget about what happened
>but a feeling of dread kept coming over me
>didn't really understand it so I just moved on
>feeling kept surfacing and it was depressing the hell out of me
>kept trying to push it away with happy colorful shit
>became a ponyfag for awhile
(I hate myself)
>depression kept reering it's ugly fucking face
>cousin signs myle up to see a counselor
(Cont?)
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>>682738603
this /b/ newfag,get used to it
>>
>>682744116
>>682744398
And she's not even an old dog. She's only 4. Bad genes, maybe, probably an inbred.
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>>682735636
Holy shit I think I do? It's really long, right?
Is pic related it?
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>>682744473
You're typing a story, of course cont.
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>shit soaked life anon
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>>682744473
bump
>>
>>682744398
I'm sorry, In my opinion whenever you lose a family member/friend or pet it makes you think of all the other people/animals you've lost, I hope she's be okay after this, my heart is out to you guys.
>>
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>>682744829
>>
I've never been one to expunge myself of all guilt for how events in my life has turned out, for better or worse, but I always felt like my stumped social life was a consequence of my upbringing.

To start, I never had a dad growing up. He was alive and well, but he lived across the globe. My mom divorced him for being abusive, and he indulged himself on alcohol, cigarettes, and all the underage prostitutes the third world could offer him. I was never bothered by the fact he valued that lifestyle more than he did me until I first met him. I was seven when we flew down to Thailand to meet him for the first time I would remember. He had a girl not ten years older than me around his waist all the time, and showed quite distinctively his contentedness with how his life had played out. He lived in a big house with a pretty girl, and managed to weasel his way out of child support for me and my little brother, so why wouldn't he be? Coming back home, I had trouble getting over this idea that he fled the country in order to avoid me and my brother. The fact that my own father had left me, and felt no regret about it upon meeting me tore a hole through my self confidence at the time. I thought I was worthless because of it, and withdrew myself from school. As a result of this, I started failing classes by third grade, and my Mom reacted by throwing me into a private school that specialized in helping students who struggled with the curriculum. This put me back on track academically, but being in a new school with new faces and not a trace of self esteem set me up for failure socially. I made some school buddies, sure, but all through my elementary years, through middle school and into high school, these people remained just school buddies. I think in the eight years I went to that school, I was invited to after school events by those buddies twice.
>>
>>682745647
Living across the city from the school didn't help either, as all social interaction I had after school became dependant on my mom's ability to drive me wherever. She was a single Mom working a sales job ten hours a day, so sports, band or anything that could get me closer to a group of people was not possible. I was stuck in the basement of my house with no friends and the internet for ten years. Of course I fell into gaming, 4chan, and other shit around 13-14, and the whole culture around those types of communities only made my insecurities worse. By grade eleven, I had developed an /r9k/ view of everyone around me, thinking they were all shitheads for wasting their time dating, partying, etc. By grade twelve, some serious depression hit and I pretty quickly realized I needed to be more social to power out of this rut. I tried being more involved in social circles, but I came off as out of touch and strange since I had been living in my own shell for the past decade. I couldn't make friends, get invites to parties, or a girlfriend, and fell back into my insecurities about my own worth as a person.

Now I'm wrapping up grade school at 18, and planning to go into an engineering program at a university in the same city. I'm scared that my social ineptness will make life a living hell, but at the same time this is my last chance to have any good memories of my youth. I've applied to residence so that hiding in my Mom's basement is not an option for me this time, and I can only hope I wont strike out on making friends and getting a grill. Pray for me /b/, I don't want to be a wizard.
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>>682745541
>>
>>682745717
Going to university should really help you make friends. Don't think there is any place more diverse than a university, if you make a bit of effort i.e get shitfaced with some people in your halls or dorms, you'll be making friends in no time.
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>>682745717
good luck anon
>>
>>682744473
(More it is then)
>never really believed in this kind of shit
>don't really say much in the sessions
>eventually the dude asked me about my father
>"What you your father like Anon?"
>question threw me off as the discussion had been about something else though what it was will remain a mystery as I have no Earthly clue
>tell the mind magician about the most prominent things about him
>drunkard
>junkie
>asshole
>slightly abusive
>general asshat
>"And he was like this all of the time?"
>told him about cool dad
>always being the best dad he could when sober
>realized at that moment what was fucking me up
>I left the guys office and called my cousin
>asked him if he could do me a favor
>"Sure man. What's up?"
>asked him to take me to my father's grave.
>"No problem Anon"

(Cont?)
>>
>>682745907
their are writers like him in /b/ but rarely
>>
Whenever I lose a pet, it's due to some illness or event that seems to be a statistical anomaly.
>first dog i lost to death was hit by a car in a well-lit, very unused road
>cat was put down after multiple kidney failures, unusual for how healthy she lived, and her brother is still alive and well living in another home, so it probably wasn't genetic
>got the only labrador of the litter to get cancer, put him down around his 10th birthday
>now my chihuahua is dying of stomach/intestinal cancer that is linked to belgian shepherd bloodlines and has no known cause

My life isn't as bad as some other people here, but what the fuck. I think I'm justified in telling myself I shouldn't get another pet.
>>
>>682733921
R u me?
>>
>>682746295
Please, please continue.
>>
>>682745907
It's real. It took me a half hour to write.

>>682746086
That's what I'm hoping for. Thanks for the encouragement

>>682746132
Fluttershy a shit. A SHIT
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>>682746295
continue anon
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>>682746552
>Fluttershy a shit. A SHIT
Thems fighting words anon. Talking shit about best pony. I didn't come to a feels thread for this.
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>>682746552
how about me?? anon
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>>682746811
>>682746821
Feels thread, not waifu wars. Don't derail.
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>>682747079
feels thread you say?

this is how I'm feeling right about now...

I hope the rest of you are doing alright,
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>>682747079
>Feels thread, not waifu wars. Don't derail.
Still kind of a feel really.
>tfw you'll never find a person with a personality as nice as your waifu's.
>>
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>>682746295
(Final)
>I'm sitting in front of his headstone with a six pack of some shitty beer my cousin bought for me
>remembered dad talking about want to have a beer together when I got older
>figured this was our best chance
>I see his name spelled out across the stone
>I feel for his death for the first time
>I remember sitting there for hours just letting the waves of sadness wash over me
>yeah, he could be a dick
>yeah, he could be an asshole
>yeah, he was those things and more
>but he was also my fucking dad
>and now I miss him everyday
>I remember him as the happy supportive dad that would joke around with me
>the dad that stressed himself out to feed me and care for me

>I remember the Dad that he really was

(Pic related: Him, me and some of my cousins)
>>
>>682747526
are really that ugly??? anon
>>
>>682747392
I think we're all hurting. Just like >>682745541 said, we all want someone. No one wants us though, so we settle on having each other. We'll manage; we always do.
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>>682747603
thanks for the feels anon
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>>682747392
painfully accurate
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>>682748100
Note to self,
Never bring up the word "pony" around these faggot again.
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>>682748365
the cancerous /mlp/ will be and always be here
>>
>>682747806
Probably. I'm prosopagnostic so I have no idea what I really look like. I may be hot I may be ugly. Niot like I'd ever know really. I'd imagine probably since I'm shitposting in a /b/ thread about pony waifus. Seems like something a person with no other options would be doing.
>>
>>682747603
fuck anon, thanks for sharing
>>
>>682748653
Feels good to share. Thanks for listening.
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>>682747392
this is too fucking true...
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>>682748548
why not ask your close guy friend for you looks???anon
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>>682748997
yep
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>>682749092
Nigga that's gay. I've had a lot of girld hit on me before so I can;t imagine I'm too bad, but eh. Looks aren;t everything in this world so go figure.
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>>682735636
>t's really long, right?
I don't think so. What I picture in my head is pretty short. One post. Just a few lines about how this guy got cucked by his friend basically.

>Is pic related it?
No.

I don't know why I remembered it. I assumed that it was a pretty well-known/popular greentext but maybe it was jut some random one.
>>
>>682750633
Oops, meant to reply to >>682744693
>>
>>682741017

It is just a constant mood of not caring. At least that is the way I experience it. I am constantly in the mood not to care about anything. Lose my job? Don't care. Get sick? Don't care. Refugees? Don't care. I can't even care for myself, how do you expect me to care for someone I don't know?

Also, not really wanting to die, but also not wanting to be saved if something ever happens. If I get hit by a truck tommorow, don't bother calling 911, just let me be and let me go. I am not happy with life, just content. It is a constant "meh".

And despite all of this I still have some happy moments, still have friends and family whom I love and care for. I would give and do anything for them. They mean more to me than I mean to myself.
>>
>>682751258
For me, that is what gets me the most down. The fact that I have brought my life to a point where mediocrity is what defines it is crushing. A life's worth of work has not brought me greater fulfilment, but instead just a place holder to deter me from ending it. It hurts to think everything I've ever done is meh.
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Might as well, it's nearly 2 AM anyway
>be me, hs fag
>had best friend for 3 years turned girlfriend, literally brought so much happiness into my world like I never even knew was possible
>break up, moves on quickly. She loved me though I know it. Can't explain without having long story
>takes me 1 1/2 month to get over her because she moved on so fast and I had to do the same
>birthday on the 6th (Civil War hell ye)
>still friends after break up although not as close and everytime we try to rebuild what we had prior to relationship isn't really the same
>Valentine's Day she made me a cd with all the songs she thought about "us"
>break up 12 days later
>still have cd to this day. She also wrote 2 pages on what she loved about me and us
>fuckfeelings.gif
>today
>birthday coming up, she asks what I want. Idk, A card would be nice
>she remembers about the cd she gave me when we went out, asks if I still had it
>of course I still have it. I would never throw it away
>she cries, but gets over it quickly. (That's just how she is, she gets over things insanely fast.)
>tfw one of my most intimate relationships is gone along with a friendship that's not as close
>tfw we thought we would last until college and move in together, it was that genuine

I had a short long distance relationship that ended just recently, I'm just going to give up on relationships. I have bad luck and breakups aren't even my fault most of the time and breakups for me always occur after a month and a couple weeks. It always ends the same way.

Just done. Done with relationships until college.
>>
>>682751656

Yup. Life is boring and mediocre. All those people saying life is great and it is God's gift bla bla bla. Yeah if I got paid $300 to post a picture of a cocktail on instagram my life would be great too, but I don't get that and my life isn't great. I just live a mediocre life working in a warehouse driving around a forklift while living in a country where more than 4 weeks of actual sunshine would be a new record. Not that there is anything to do anyways since there is nothing to fucking do here. No mountains, no valleys, no hiking, no climbing. Even if I wanted to do something, all I could do is ride a fucking bike or some shit and take a walk in the park.
>>
I wish life was an Elder Scrolls game so I could load up an old save and try things differently.
>>
>>682751685
How does it feel to have someone? Everywhere you see that line, "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Is that true?
>>
>>682752219
Absolutely. That relationship was so pure hearted and genuine. Being in something like that was like being your absolute self when no one is around but there is someone and they completely love you for everything that you do and stand for. So if you see something that could definitely be, go for it anon.
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>>682752172
I feel for you. Nature is very therapeutic for me, and I couldn't imagine what I'd do without it. Every summer I hike high up into the mountains to a high altitude lake and camp the weekend with just a fishing rod, fire starter and sleeping bag. The whole thing really helps wash away anxiety about school, work, friends, relationships(or a lack thereof), and so on.
>>
Fat. Virgin. No talent (anymore, and when I did have talent, it was useless). No job. Can't work with people. Not competent enough to work with my hands. Live with parents at 22 years old. Can't drive. Haven't spoken to anyone I'm not related to in about 2 years. My friends are all doing something - college, working, maybe they have kids, etc. I graduated a year late from a school with an extraordinarily high dropout rate for the district.

What the fuck can I possibly amount to?
>>
>>682726041
might've posted this the other day
am still confused about her

short summary

>meet girl online
>text for a month back n forth
>decide to meet up
>very pretty girl
>same kind of humor
>spends 3 days at my house
>we have a lot of fun, go to the movies, friends party, sex
>continue to meet up for the next 5 months
>just before christmas tells me she cant do it anymore
>gets back together with her ex
>3 months pass without any form of contact
>slowly start texting again
>i get "i've missed you in my life" messages
>last week
>some more of those kind of texts
>ask her if she'*s happy
>she says overall yes

i asked her why she's still so unsure about how she decided
she told me she "isn't unsure" and buts two texts with "it was beautiful with you" after that

what is up with this girl, besides obviously trying to either get me to tell her i want her back or keeping me on the back burner?

been 3 days since i asked her a bunch of questions, i caved in though
>>
>>682734724
>>682734724
I know this is some of that horoscope "so me" bullshit, but that is pretty much me at this point in my life.
>>
I have an interview and I can't sleep because of all my problems in life rn.

Fuck I really need this job but I can't sleep and my girlfriend is asleep and I don't like being alone with my thoughts.

I love all of you and everyone of you matter in my hearts. <3
>>
>>682729025
Autismo's on drugs are the worst... you really don't have normal social interaction skills even with exstacy, I don't mind being friends with or talking to people with autism cause I know how to deal with that and can understand them pretty well. But autismo's on drugs is like a fucking waterfall made of spaghetti.. it just doesn't stop.
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>>682753174
ecstasy*
>>
>>682753090
Get some sleep. Find a job so you can keep that girlfriends of yours. She's more important than shitposting with strangers. It's not like we're going anywhere any ways.
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>>682753003
I think she's okay with her relationship and wants to be with the guy for whatever reasons. However she misses the way you would go out of your way to make her happy and be awesome to be with for her. When you're in a relationship you tend to get comfortable with eachother and those 'special moments' and special things you do for eachother just happen less and less. She misses that, she wants you to make her feel special while still being in the comfort of the relationship she currently has.
Don't fall for her bait, I'm sure she was fun to spend time with but what she's doing now is manipulative and selfish.
>>
>>682752710

I wish we had some nature here. The closest thing to my home are some dunes(?) with some forest around it. You aren't allowed to be there after 21:00 I thought, because of the wildlife and during the day it is overun with people who go there to "relax". Yeah well good luck trying to relax with 30 screaming children near you. It would be so fantastic to just take a tent, hike (halfway) up a mountain, deplore your tent and just relax and take in all the nature. If only I could.
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>>682753090
'I can't sleep'
Sure posting on 4 chan on a bright screen in the middle of the night will make you fall asleep sooner... You're just as dumb as my gf who complains she can't fall asleep but watches series on her phone in bed.. like really
>>
>>682753610
so... all she wants is me to be her "fun guy"?
why isn't she resorting to her not-ex?
i mean c'mon, she breaks upwith that guy, fucks someone else for 2 weeks, tries to get back with her ex, fails, starts stuff with me for nearly half a year and then goes back again to her ex?

the hell
>>
Gonna bump for yall
>>
>>682753617
Is moving in the cards?
>>
>>682753702
I was off for an hour but I completely agree

>>682753523
Yea I know. I remember a year ago when I was near suicide some people in feels thread helped me out. I like dropping by when I am just laying here. All the people on here really have the potential to be great and a couple of anons helped me realize that.
>>
And another bump for yall
Could need some bumping help here, lads
>>
Story of my first gf
>me about 15
>usual retard kid, hyper active and socially awkward
>not bad around 7/10
>when walking past girls in public would deliberately avert eyes to not seem creepy
>probs why i was single
>friend i chill with knows i'm lonely and has a girl who fits my criteria
>Medium height, brunette, olive skin and green eyes
>fuckin 11/10 to me, even told our mutual that she liked me. probs a 7/10 for anyone else but i was desperate
>we'd been chatting for a bit and find we have common interests ie. bands and tv shows, at this stage i was super desperate and didn't want to seem like a tard
>friend says that she's gonna meet up with a few friends on the weekend (saturday), including 11/10
>get fuckin hyped for weekend
>start getting nervous as fuck friday night, consider ditching, end up going because i wasn't gonna do anything else
>saturday. meet everyone and she's last to arrive, i'm shitting bricks as i walk over to her "h-hi, how was your week?" as if we hadn't been talking all week
>everyone decides to go for a walk, i'm not fussed bc i'm pretty sporty
>conversation with her fizzles out, end up taking to other people
>literally didn't talk to her at all the rest of the day, had to get her number off mutual (we'd been talking on facebook)
>>
>>682736932
I'm glad I tried with the girl I work with. I got rejected but at least I tried...I guess theres that and hey we're still friends so...
>tfw even when you try it's the same result.
>>
Bumpan
>>
>>682753882
Well she's probably in love with him for whatever reason, it might seem totally illogical but from what you told me that's what I feel like is happening.
You know it's not easy to get something 'spontaneous' from your partner once you're in a relationship and the person just isn't like that by themselves. It would take a lot of convincing, a lot of unpleasent talks and a lot of setbacks to get someone to work on themselves and change for the better. It's much easier for her to text you and say she misses you and wait for you to start doing what she wants all by yourself.
Obviously I don't know the whole story but I've seen a similar situation with a close friend of me.. he actually took the bait and is still doing special stuff for her while she is in a solid relationship with her bf.. It's pretty sad and I told him not to do it but he's totally hooked.
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>recently fell out of contact with best friend of 5 years
>he replaced me with some other cunt
>can't get over the bitter feelings, drinking to numb myself
>can't even enjoy anything anymore
>fuck
>>
>>682726041
Loved you enough to slap you around like a bitch.
>only tried to be better when he was dying
POS only trying to save his soul
>never really gave a shit. But if it makes you feel better think that anon...
>have fun in your fake as reality.
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>>682752946
you'd be surprised. the person i'm in love with is a fat virgin 26 year old who doesn't love me back, and never will.
>>
>>682754166
it sure is illogical.
she broke up with him, because she started working out while he didn't even acknowledge it and stayed lazy.

then all of a sudden, she finds out he's working out and resorts to going back to him because quote on quote "he's the guy i want to be for my whole life", with 20.

i know that, but, if she's longing for that "special" feeling, why even start things with me? why not just talk with her guy?

she told me, that she one other reason she broke up with him in the first place was, because she wanted to know, what was behind our daily conversations.

yeah nah, i'm definitely not doing anything special for her anymore, bought her some roses randomly while we were still dating, but now, i really couldn't care less what or if she'd answer me.

yes i like texting with her, but she chose her ex over me, she should live with her choice and not pester me with all those bullshit "i miss you" texts.
>>
Bumping for yall souls
>>
Anyone care to help me bump the thread?
>>
>>682754237
>group of friends has shut me out
>haven't involved me in anything in real life for years now
>they act as though nothing is different when talking online
I'm upset, but trying hard to get past it. Don't let there be a chip on your shoulder.
>>
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More green text!
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>>682754757
Bump this shit yo
>>
Bump this thread guys
>>
>>682753995
cont.
 Fast forward a couple weeks and we go on our first date
 End up having an amazing time, walking around the city chatting until our legs almost gave out
 Talk every moment we’re awake
 End up fucking up my sleep cycle because I’m going to bed so late talking to her and waking up super early for school
 Everything is perfect except one thing; never touch her. I mean we sat next to each other and brushed shoulders but that was the most intimacy we got
 Me being a horny 15 year old wanted more, seeing my mates in relationships getting shitloads of action from their ladies
 6 fucking months in
 We’re walking to her school (we go to different schools and she lived about 1.5hr across town) she fucking grabs my hand
 Closetonutting.jpg
 But that’s it for 2 months
 Just holding hands and cuddling, nothing more. Since I was so beta I never tried making first moves bc I thought she’d think I was raping her so I never tried to kiss or anything. I’d always say that I loved her and she’d reply with empty responses “you too” “I know” shit hurt a little but I brushed it off bc I was head over heels
 She was super shy and even though my close friends liked her she didn’t like them and I think she hated them
 Around 9 months in on Halloween we’re at a party, she sneaks off with me to the bathroom and we make out for what seems like an eternity
>>
>>682754558
Exactly.. she needs to understand that too.. she can't eat from 2 plates. If you just text as friends obviously that's cool.. but she should cut out with the 'i miss you' texts cause it's just toying with your feelings. Good that you seem to be over her because it'd be messed up more if you have a lot of feelings for her still. Maybe you should just be upfront and ask her what she means by that and why she's sending these kind of texts to you at all.. and just be clear to her about being friends would be okay (if you want that at all) but no need to send semi flirty stuff like that anymore. Either way, good luck bro
>>
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>>682754728
I gave up on real life years ago. I have a few close friends but I have a lot of trouble connecting with people IRL. I've always been the clown, the funny girl.

I also gave up on my online friends. This particular close friend was online, but someone I cared about deeply.

I am just completely numb to everything. I have a drinking problem so I can feel /something, anything/.
>>
>>682755007
and i'm gonna tell her that, if she responds to my questions that is

>Maybe you should just be upfront and ask her what she means by that and why she's sending these kind of texts to you at all..
did that
asked her the whys and why she's texting me, if she told me she's overall happy

thanks for listening man, woman gonna woman, i guess.
have a wonderfull day my man
>>
>>682755185
Cheers, you too man.
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>>682753922

Then I would have to emigrate. My counrty is as flat as can be. Money wise not possible right now.
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>>682755185
Man you've gotta keep us up to date when she replies haha
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>>682755034
Giving up is a great way to make things worse. Pic related is giving up. Start trying again.
>>
>>682756126
sure thing, been 3 days since, but i'll try to poke a bit around and get some sort of reaction
>>
>>682756046
which cunt are you in right now?
>>
>>682754971
>Best fucking feeling, heart racing, pushing our bodies together, pretty much one step away from fucking
>She ends up getting a lot more confident around me, she was quite shut off and it connected us a bit more, she says she loves me back, all the cheesy shit
>For 2 months she just comes over to my house and we make out then watch movies and eat pizza, shit was the best. It was getting harder to see her however because she started doing a lot of sport (rowing, lacrosse, soccer etc.) I wasn’t too fussed because I played sport as well
>Treasured our time together, it was an oasis of pleasure for me. I was at my peak happiness at that point
>Start seeing her maybe once every 2 weeks
>Start getting distant, she comes to my house one day and we watch tv show after tv show in silence
>Not even a giggle
>One day, out with best friend since I can remember having a great time, texting her in the background
>Get a text from her saying “sorry I’m not free for the next 4 weeks, rowing and sport is bumping up because of finals”
>Heartbroken.png
>“that’s ok I’ll cop it, I love you anyway”
>Next day she texts me
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>>682756506
> “I think we should go on a hiatus until sport settles down, I just don’t have enough time free and I’ll be exhausted whenever I see you”
>Agree bc beta as fuck
>End up not seeing her in person for 4 months. 4 fucking months I stay loyal, multiple times she says that it’s ok for me to get hook ups (she was really chill and knew my heart was with her) and not once did I ever hook up with any other girl
>I go on a 2 week trip interstate, so many opportunities to hook, never once do it
>Come home, weekend after i finally see her. We go to a museum and just walk around like our first date about 14 months prior. Absolutely love it
>Go to hug her and she pulls back, think nothing of it.
>Say goodbye and go home with a massive grin
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>>682756171
I meant I give up on people. Not on things. I still have a job that I love (although I'm not close to anybody) and am buying my first home. I just...

I'm lonely.
>>
>>682756291

Netherlands.
>>
>tfw i've only really been in love once
>we haven't spoken in years
>wondering if i'd be less fucked up had we kept in touch
>i miss you so god damn much jenna, though neither of us are anything like the people we were when we still spoke, you were the only person i could ever talk to and now i have no one but these fucking faceless strangers
>>
>>682757259
same here man

tried to get back in contact with her but she doesnt want to know shit from me anmoyre
sucks
>>
>>682756657
>get home and text her some cheesy shit like “thanks for the awesome day, I love you”
>response is “you too” or some shit. Don’t think anything of it and carry the conversation a bit
>next day send a good morning text
>no reply until next day
>she seems off, i ask why and she says she’s tired
>she goes to bed early. I send her a good morning text in the morning and she replies 4 days later with no other contact
>same shit as 4 days prior
>we arrange a date to go to park and have a picnic or some shit on a Sunday
>sleep at friend’s house Sunday night, ironically it’s the same house as the Halloween make-out sesh
>starts raining so I text her saying it’s probably best to stay out of the rain and instead she should come to my house, pretty reasonable
>she goes off at me saying I never have time for her and that she’s carrying the relationship by herself
>she ends up breaking up with me over text. I’m not even that affected by it because I started to drift in that 4 months I didn’t see her
>only sad for a day, get a bunch of messages “anon I’m so sorry” “you’ll find someone new” “there’s other fish in the sea” etc.
>tensions are high between us the week after, she sends me messages calling me manipulative and evil
>saying she’ll never find someone as good as her
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>>682731053
Dude it's finals week. This happens to everyone, emotions are high, stress is high.
Don't worry about it, just go back to treating her like a mate when you all hang out together. Don't meet one on one unless she suggests it.

Problem solved.
>>
>>682757378
I really, deeply loved her, man. I was in love with her before I knew what she looked like. Long-distance, we were both weabs and we met on Gaia.

We seem to have switched places. Back in those days she struggled with depression and I was her light. I convinced her not to swallow a bottle of pills once, and I was really persistent in trying to get her to eat. Now she seems so happy and healthy and I'm... here.
>>
>>682726041
You're basically me except my family was barely scraping the rung above white trash, my dad was the chill one while mum was the abusive one. For her it was heart disease / diabetes. She lingered for years and the sicker she got the meaner she got. By the end she couldn't hit us anymore but her bitter, vicious tongue still ruled the house and spread misery from her bed. Until one night i went to check on her and realized she hadn't moved an inch or changed facial expression since I'd looked in an hour or two before, and her skin had gone a very strange shade of yellow. I understood then that she was dead and i laughed. Laughed in her stupid dead face. I was 16. I couldn't believe it, my dad actually mourned the cunt, after everything she'd done to him and had done to him. To the day i die (no doubt in a similarly nasty way to her, heredity being what it is,) I will never understand why that was. Stockholm syndrome or something like it? Who knows. For me that's the day my life truly began.
>>
>>682734206
and then? what happened then? how did the story end?
>>
>>682734206
special snowflake alert.

You know the guy likes his smokables. Poison the cunt, the doctors blame it on a bad cut, you get out scott-free and get your own back.
Fucking chavs today have no imagination.
>>
>>682757601
>tell her to find something better to do than send those kinds of messages
>don’t talk to her for like 2 months, stay in contact with one of her closest friends because her friend was really comforting when I got those late night life evaluation feelings going on.
>stop thinking about her
>one day friend calls me, she’s sobbing hard, says she was the first person I called
>”11/10 is in hospital” to my own surprise I was shocked.
>didn’t even ask why she was in hospital
>I just got the details of the place she was at and hightailed it there
>got to her bed. Her face and head were almost buried in bandages, her whole right arm was in a cast and she had tubes going in and out of almost every part of her body.
> her mum was asleep next to her, holding her hand. I cleared my throat and her mum woke up and told me everything. She’d been hit by a car and in the process had landed hard on the concrete gutter and was suffering severe head trauma
>>
>>682736615
Ouch

>>682738603
kek I see what you did there.
>>
>>682758423
>plus she’d broken her neck from initial impact and may have impaired movement to her arms and legs
>I sat down next to her and for the first time in 3 months I cried for her, it was so difficult seeing a girl who I still loved deep down in such a condition
>I left before she woke up, I asked her mum not to tell her I visited and left
>2 years later I’m writing this and it’s hard to keep the tears back even though I’m in a strong relationship with a new girl. I haven’t talked to her since and from time to time I think about her bandage wrapped body and how devastated I was. She was so wonderful /b/
>>
I'm glad this is a thing that will disappear in a few minutes.
Just wanted to let you fags and pervs know that it can get better. Not with apathy, that's a plaster.

You gotta let go. My parents were religious and growing up they taught me that if I ever felt bad, I can give those bad feelings to God, and then I wouldn't have them anymore. That God could take it.

I don't believe i God, but the idea works. You think about it, maybe that girl you want to love you again. - And you just let it go. You let it dissipate.
You feel it leave you.
>>
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>>682739659
Well shit, that one describes my situation perfectly.
>>
>>682733921
I'm gonna be pretty real here. I failed out of college. Literally because of chem (which I didn't take in highschool) and College Algebra. Pretty much fucking retarded when it comes to those subjects. Fast forward three years. Work a job that pays 40k, have healthcare, dental, eye, 401k. There are other jobs out there if you ACTUALLY fuck up. College sucks dick, but most people get jobs they can sit and do something they "love". And by that I mean something barely related to your degree and you make the best out of what you can.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRP6egIEABk
>>
>>682741848
this
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>>682759537
>>
>>682739345
a classic
>>
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>>682741048
>>682742528
>>682744473
>>682746295
>>682747603

I think this is something everyone that has grown up with a drunken parent has to deal with, one of my friends had the same experience only for him it took 10 years to realize he missed his dad.
>>
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>Am in a relationship with someone I am not attracted
>wanted some nudes that why I went in to the relationship
>she likes me I feel like such an asshole
>luckily we live in different states
>>
>>682760509
What should I do /b/ros rumors are circulating around her school that we fucked everyone thinks she is a slut. What have I done
>>
>>682756171
Well shit, this pretty much describes me, minus the alcoholism.
I turn 30 next year.
>>
>>682760643
hah buddy.
long distance is the shit! You can do whatever while you're in your state and fuck her when you're not.
>>
>>682760952
We've not fucked yet because I haven't visited her yet.
>>
>>682761412
I'll never understand how people manage that. Like come on, how did you even decide you want to be together if you haven't tried anything.

Unless you're like 16
>>
>Be me
>pretty bad alcoholic, smoke pot for fun every once in a while
>tell girlfriend of this
>she decides to tell the guidance counselor
>I still love the girl but fuck her i dont trust her
>dad is a homophobic fuck
>I like Chicks and Dicks
>some quotes from my dad are
>"If my son was gay i'd beat him"
>"Anon stop that you are sitting like a fruit"
>stopped drinking because my friendos didnt want to see me like that
>Don't know what to do with soberness
>>
>>682761504
We met online
>>
frickin bump
>>
>>682761988
checked, it's okay that your bi, at least you're not a faggot or something... wait, you're not 4chan you fucking faggot.

but seriously I think your girlfriend is probably just trying to look out for you, most would ignore problems like that or just leave, your dad sounds like a dick, a big hairy sweaty swinging dick.

but at least your sober which is something I can't say for myself, try to better yourself so you can get a amazing job and make the monies then brag to faggots on 4chan about how much better you are then them, I believe in your anon.
>>
>>682760492
Fuck man... Ive always loved my father to death. Probably the greatest person in my life. I like to think ive grown much as he was.

When i was around 10-11 years old his drinking was getting to a degree were he couldnt hide it for us. He was still making a lot of money but his problems were catching up. Anyway for the following years he would stay sober some time, then drink then get a relapse and so on. When i was around 15 it started going downhill. You couldnt be around him anymore, its so hard to see your greatest friend and mentor destroying himself infront of you. Doing horrible things you'd never imagine he had the power to let himself do. You could still see him through does blue eyes, behind a mask of disgusting liquor. Me, mum and my brother left to live somewhere else and give him and ultimatum, to stop and get your shit together or keep drinking and get out of our lives. It hurts me so bad thinking of when he called me through the nights, screaming and crying - begging me to come back and that he will kill himself if we leave him. Fastforward a couple of months of some pretty shitty stuff. Anyway its his birthday and he had begged me to come and celebrate it with him. I was actually a bit happy about it and it wouldve been nice to sit down with him one last time and just be father and son. Well the day came and i had changed my mind. I was a bit angry because i didnt think i deserved this shit, so i went to a party instead. Well he called me that night, crying. He told me that he loved me so much and he would stop drinking. I told him i loved him and i was so eager to meet him after the weekend with him sober. He died the day after. The hospital people told us that he had no alcohol in the blood and probably died of the alcohol abstinence.

God i love you dad. it hurts me that your face is slowly decaying from my memories.
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