So b did I fuck up? I'll greentext the situation if you
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
So b did I fuck up? I'll greentext the situation if you guys show any interest.
>shameless self bump
Nice dubs ask her if you can finger her pooper
Greentext I am interested
Keep it going because this greenie is a long one.
>>682694411
Do it. We wanna know
> Start job as a bouncer at a bar
> DJ at the club is a meathead and obviously has low self esteem so I love fucking with his head
> see him at the gym and make fun of his firm or something
Anyways
>one day he brings this qt 3.14 in and is following her around like a puppy dog
>qt 3.14 is about an 8/10
Cont.
>walk up after they take a seat at the bar
>ole meathead has a BCAA energy drink in a can
>I take a look because I'm genuinely interested
>start talking mad shit about how that shit is poison for his body and how he should take BCAAS without fillers
He should
> she gets in on it with me and we get relentless
>qt is a badass
>turns out they're weight lifting partners and she needed a job
>as a bartender
>cash.jpg
Cont.
Curious bump
>first night on the job I use age old pancake line
> "The best way to get to know a person is 2 AM pancakes, want to get some after we close?"
>shit works like it always does
>we eat pancakes with my brother who is a cop and the both of us have her laughing her ass off for the next 45 minutes
>we finish and she asks me to take her back to her car which is at the bar still
Cont.
Sorry about how short these are my laptop is dead and I wanted to bang these out real quick on mobile
>>682696171
>>682696291
Post selfie w/ timestamp w/ or w/o face
>Must see bouncer body for confirmation
Otherwise bump for interest
>We get to the car
>I open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>take her back to the bar
>I kind of give her the "well we're here" look
> "wait anon, this is one of my favorite songs!"
> guns n roses, not bad
> but she starts talking to me instead of listening to the song
> we talk about random getting to know each other crap over the next two hours
>I start busting her balls about working out
> "anon, you can't talk crap until you've felt my muscles good ahead feel my leg"
>fuckyes.gif
>I place a hand on her thigh and she gives me that fucking do it look
> I explore that leg like lewis and fucking clarke dog
>inside the thigh, outside the thigh, real close to her pussy, down to ankle
>shit was cash, best set of legs I've come across
Cont
I'm not a big guy, but I was in the military and know some basic shit that would hold me over in a bar fight for a few min
>>682697496
I could take you. Faggot.
>>682697496
What is this, a bouncer for ants?
>>682697777
witnessed.
>>682697496
holy shit they even banned body building in brit bong land due to human weapons
>>682697777
post ur face and bod with stamp
>>682698109
bitch
you dont tell quads what to do.
srsly, how did you become a bouncer when you're so tiny?
>>682698109
are we here for a pose-off?
>>682698109
on with the story
>don't realize she's trying to get me to fool around
>ask me to feel her up in various ways and I don't spaghetti too much
>I keep thinking about the fact she has a hubby that was brought up in the get to know each other convo
Now look I know what you guys are gonna say about bitches cheating on their wives and etc etc, this chick is 18 and married for some stupid ass reason. I know the reason but I won't divulge it to you douches because it messes up the advice part. This chick is different just trust me please.
>figure she's being friendly and compliment her physique because that's part of the perks of hitting the gym
> 6 AM rolls around and we're still together but not for much longer
> we split ways
This is the more important part of the dtory the rest of the together were pretty average hanging out at the bar and the such, let me tell you the nigger riot story after I finish this one
>Eventually get her number and text pretty innocent stuff
>after about a month hubby makes her quit job because he's a small minded controlling cocksucker, but who can blame him
Cont
Prior military and I work along side a cop, between the two of us we could handle this. Not to mention I also work at a jail, so fuck you for doubting you cocksucker
>>682698602
>lrn2quote nigger
>>682698413
No, don't cont. This is either bullshit or you're an insufferable cunt, perhaps both. Sage this thang.
>>682697777
Trips don't lie.
>>682698413
>this chick is 18 and married for some stupid ass reason. I know the reason but I won't divulge it to you douches because it messes up the advice part. This chick is different just trust me please.
comes to /b/ for advice, but won't include all relevant details?
don't be a faggot OP
>>682698761
That's quads, you cum bubble
>>682698413
wow your a douchebag
WTF is this faggot thread?
>>682698602
you sound like a grade a douche
>CO
>Bouncer
>Ex-Military
Why not fluff the system more twat?
>>682698864
It's double-dubs, you double-nigger.
>>682698109
The fuck you trying to fight quads you fag? You lost already bitch
>>682694411
pic of her body?
>>682698413
>>don't realize she's trying to get me to fool around
How's virginity treating you?
>>682699083
Still no excuse for mistaking it for trips, cock jockey
>>682699216
Nah, he was in the military.
I'm sure he's at least raped somebody
Hurry up op i wanna go to bed
>>682699339
Yeah, his mom
> I talk to her and make sure she's doing okay just about everyday because hubby wants a trophy wife and treats her as such
> I like her and I've grown to care about her
> she's real closed up though and doesn't exactly like getting into feels type shit but we get in that territory every once in a while
> sometimes she'll ignore me for a day or two and say she was pissed about something and didn't want to talk with me
>don't know if it was because it wasn't taking the bait or not but whatevs
> I try to get her to see me in person and hang out and she avoids doing this for three weeks
> then one day she just shows up in front of the bar out of the blue and hugs me and squeezes real tight
> my jaw drops I never expected it, this was after not talking for two days
> we bullshit and she just hangs out with me outside for about 2 hours before we started getting busy
>as soon as we do she goes to dip
>"so, pancakes?"
>"of course anon!"
This is leading up to the original post
>>682699501
continue...
>>682699247
I'll give you that one, jive turkey
>>682699117
No pic of her body sorry
>>682699339
Never raped anybody
>>682699096
Not a virgin
And fuck the rest of you, the reason they got married was because her hubby is military and they got married young for the extra $1500 a month that comes in for being married, the wrong reaon jn my opinion but fuck it, it's done.
>start messing around with her
>she rubs my arms saying how im a big boy
>i get an aekward boner knocks off my fanny pack
>speghetti flys everywhere
>hubby comes in is mad
>suck his cock to calm him down
>is still mad wantsmy ass
>let him
Trump 2016
>>682700069
Don't respond to ass clowns, co tinue with story
Lol >hubby
Does she call him that?
>>682700294
>hubby
<3
>>682700294
Kek'd
>>682694752
>her
At first I thought that was Grindr, actually.
>we meet at her place
>takes me 20 to 30 minutes to get there
>she keeps bitching she needs to change
> I show up and she's still in gym shorts
>"well I'm gonna change"
>"and you're not gonna kick me out of your room?"
>"I don't give a fuck if you stare, that's the nice part of going to the gym"
>so stare I fucking did
>watching those tight shorts slip off and yoga pants slip on was a hwll of a show
>"too bad your manly arms aren't proprtionate to your sweet ass"
>some typical comment follows
> we leave hit Dennys and just start talking like we did that one night
Cont
>>682696568
Kek
>>682700857
Type faster faggot.
>check'd
>>682701125
Dub fail
>>682697777
Witnessed
>>682697496
Post beard
What the niggers
Yes you fucked up.
>She sits there and talks about how all the guys she chills with pick up these sluts
> shows me these videos she takes of these guys glorifying trashy women being grade a sluts
>nothing wrong with that
>but she doesn't want to have to act like a slut to get somebody to get that same sort of attention
>guess that's where I come in
>and the spaghetti comes out
>we finish our snack and I drive her back out to my place
I've got two vehicles, a nice ass jeep and a nice ass subaru, adding to the douchebag level more
> "we should take the jeep out and check out the river"
>Shit ton of rain here so I wanted to see if it was high
>asuh dude
>we check it out its high
> I act like an ass and try to get stuck
>can't because of my sick ass jeep bitches
>so we get done with that
>ask her how she likes it
>"wooow anon I've gone mudding before come the fuck on"
>chillbitch.mov
Cont.
This story isn't even interesting. Why did I read the whole thing
>>682702252
Literally this.
>>682701929
Mudding with a hot bitch next to you. That's any rednecks dream
Get that pussy anon getit
>>682702252
I thought I was the only one
>>682701929
bored af now
get to the point pal
>>682701929
OP heres how to solve your problems. if you ever get this girl alone, just pull it out
>>682702422
Extremely blunt and surprisingly effective
Thread will 404 while OP is telling the part of what he had for dinner
>trying to keep her entertained
>"Well you wanna go do some hoodrat shit at walmart?"
>"I guess anon"
>we pull up and she gives me this pained look
>"yeah you're not down for this are you?"
>"no but my house is down the street"
>fuck it lets go
>we get to her house and she starts getting ready for bed
>normal shit that says you're fucking too, like the whole "I hope you like it coldb and prepping your side of the bed and shit
>"so you're not gonna kick me out?"
>"nope, lets lay down"
> I mean fuck it, nothing harmful in that, right?
> we lay there for about 5 min
>"anon can you give me a massage?"
>fuck yeah
>I straddle her back/ass and make sure my dick is pressing down hard and start massaging her shoulders
>I give her the you need your clothes off to make this work and I start stripping her down
> slowly but surely I'm rubbing her down and then figure this is as plain as it gets and I lean down and kiss her back
Cont.
>>682701929
Why dont you just impale the bitches pussyon yourgiant jeeps exhaust pipe and go muddin?
Green text is supposed to be a summary OP. I don't want to read a fucking novel
Well fuck if you guys have better shit to do then I'll leave out all the good shit you cocksuckers, anybody want to redeem these motherfuckers or nah?
>>682703024
I know what happened she saw anons tiny dick thats why shes upset
>>682703359
PLZ ANON CONTINUE
>>682703482
>>682703359
Confirmed
>>682703359
Fuck off you deluded faggot...
Kill yourself
>>682703359
Continue and plz tell me the mudding part again it gets my redneck dick hard
Read this over OP. Look at all the good shit you've blessed us with
>>682703359
Finish!
made this for you, OP, and my reCAPTCHA was pasta, believe it or not
>>682703314
stfu green text is for stories
>>682703359
>implying there is any "good shit" in this terrible fucking story.
Be a faggot
Go muddin
Never get laid
Just another day in the life of redneck OP
>>682703885
Yeah just talk about mudding and your jeep
>>682703359
Small dick bouncin mud faggot
>>682703986
cropping was sloppy, here's a better one
>>682704010
I get it out da mud
This a story about you not fucking a married girl, because she's married
Op wutt ta fuck dude
She be with her
>hubby
Why couldn't you just keep it a friendship dude?
Don't stick your dick in her, she'll hate herself
>>682704202
Why didnt she just sodomize herself with a tire iron for your pleasure right then and there
>>682704010
I second this. What kind of rims does it have? Did you motor swap? Tell me you got a killer stereo system in that
>>682703359
how about gtfo your story is shit
>>682703024
>
PLZ FINISH
>>682704443
Can't even quads you faggot.
>>682704443
I bet he got tge highrise kit going on fuckin 4x4 fuckin whippin shittys
>>682704355
I know we talk about girls cheating on their husbands, but she's different, just trust him.
Jesus Christ, OP. You the advanced definition of beta.
>>682703024
>after I kiss her back she goes into a musclefreak roid rage attack and beats my scrawny ass down.
>tfw I get all my spaghetti in her mud.
>she asks "do you even lift?"
>we both ROFL the dinosaur
>hey at least I still gots muh sick ass Jeep wrangler superdoody 4x4
>bout to go muddin again
>just thought you should know \b\
Captcha: choose the pictures of sick ass jeeps
>>682698413
Wait is this girl's name crystaL sounds like my ex
>she's into and pushes her back toward me
> I move up to her neck and get the right response
>as I stop she opens up her gorgeous green eyes and smiles so fucking big
>itsonmotherfucker
>I flip her over and start sucking on her nice little tits and she covers up her face and gives me the "oh my god can't believe I'm doing this"
>wellfuck
>she cuts me off and starts getting dressed but doesn't kick me out
>"we need to talk about this either you want it or you don't"
Reference first pic
>we get back in bed and face each
>no fuck that I want you to spoon me
> pass out
> wake up to her grinding her ass into my dick, completely on purpose
> I grind back and play with her puss through her yoga pants
>she's knows what she's doing and I'm hard as fuck
> go to take off her pants to eat her pussy
>Get them around her thighs and decide to stick a finger in to see what I was getting in to
>tight ass pussy apparently and the wettest pussy I've had the privelege to play with
>right before I go down on her she grabs my shirt
>anon we can't do this
>get dressed same as before cuddle and pass out until about 7 when she wakes up and kicks my ass out
>no doubt no fucking around just a "you need to leave now"
> she was so pissed
>now she broke contact with me and won't talk like she's pissed off again
And this is me trying not to be beta as fuck to get her to talk to me because I'm a little worried about her
One more pic incoming hold on
K
>>682704821
wow op you still are a douche
>>682704567
Oh hell yeah son were talkin fuckin 36s hell yeah and he's got the fucking under glow the
>u
>n
>d
>e
>r
>g
>l
>o
>w
Dude and I bet that's shits lifted another 10 inches fuck ye boi were talking
>pussygitter
>mudslayer
Fuck ye boi
Well shit this feels like a fail of a thread
>>682704971
>"Pls respond"
Stop worrying about her. She's fucking 18, married, and clearly a nutter butter
Just 404 already.
>>682704821
kek
Nvm this shit is done
>>682704971
Assuming this isn't fake, bitches are crazy, forget about her. Go fuck a slut
OP is a raging homosexual.
Yup. You fucked up. Don't know why any of this sounded like a good idea other than just hanging out.
Pack it up, boys. Thread is over.
>>682704971
Are you finished or are you done? Inb4 her husband is birdman and busts in demanding OP put some respekk on his name.
>>682704971
you blew it. you went full "pls respond" mode. just ignore her and pretend like nothing happened. your indifference will only make you more attractive to her. because she will cheat on her husband again. because she's a whore. just be chill nad stop acting so needy. she will come back eventually. it just might take time. you sucked on her titties and stuck your finger up her pussy. if you got that far, the only thing stopping you from fucking her is waiting. just be patient. and next time, suck on that pussy asap. once you start flicking your tongue, it's GG. good luck, you fucking redneck faggot
>>682697496
You look weak af.
>>682704971
New update guys she said its because i have a small dick and cant mud good
Yeah shits done. Back to lurking
well im screen capping all of this and putting it on google docs. be on the look out for a link
>>682706073
Nah.
>>682698413
OP go fuck yourself you shithead
>>682706073
Noone responded to my mudding and underflow on op's Jeep please be sure to cap that for me because I thought it was funny
Wow all of that waiting for this? Op shut the fuck up and get over it. If it's pussy you're after, I'm sure it's not hard for you to get. I'd you're trying to get her to be your gf, then you're insane and clearly want a stressed life. Best advice for now, just don't talk to her and go about your life. She's a girl, her dumbass will probably message you later or get into contact with you either way. If she doesn't, oh well you avoided some heavy shit. If she does, tread carefully. If you want to fuck her, go ahead. Just know what you'll be getting yourself into. Pussy is a powerful weapon, powerful indeed.
>>682704971
She sounds fucking nuts
>>682705832
I got mudded once. But I got dat big country bo' dick so all the bitches fugged me.
Feels good bro, bout to go hit up some sweet mud in my dually Chevy s10 with the big ass semi exhaust pipes
Yeah you know I got them shits...
>>682703359
Fuck off nobody gives a shit
>being this autistic
>>682706386
alternatively, go shit yourself you fuckhead
This isn't worth saving, for any reason
>>682704971
give her an ultimatum if she doesn't fuck you tonight you'll kill her husband, works every time.
>>682705106
Do u even mud faggot?
Never seen a thread that left /b/ so disappointed.
>>682704971
So she's a typical 18 year old chick who's married too young and hasn't grown up yet. She's not nutso she's just really confused and doesn't have the maturity to handle the situation.
No doubt she wants to fuck you but even though it seems she went too far she still held back so she has a sense of right and wrong, although it's a bit fucked up.
If this girl gets divorced or separates then you'll be her number one choice for a new relationship. But if she stays married then she's going to get more conflicted until she does something stupid.
Didn't you say you hired this bitch? As her boss you need to tell this fucker that she will get on her knees and take a cum facial like a proper employee or you will fire her on the spot. Pull out the big guns you dildo.
>>682707754
An achievement i guess?
>>682706465
Being this beta
