>23 finished uni last may
>unemployed for 4 months now
>had a part time retail job in November-December but company didn't have the money to take me on full time
>parents and gf think I'm having trouble finding interviews and jobs
>they think it ridiculous that i've never been able to get an interview despite joining agencies and applying to loads
>truth is that part time retail job is the only job i've ever applied to in my life and i've spend the past several months lying to my parents and gf about applying to jobs
>even now i don't even know why I'm not applying to them, I've not even finished a cover letter yet
pretty sure i'm becoming depressed and this is damaging my relationship with my amazing gf who really doesn't deserve my worthless ass
Whats really gonna fuck you up is when you start applying in your field and find that it will likely be a long wait until you find something.
Don't listen to what anyone says, everyone is dealing with this. The job market is fucked for the time being. Becoming aware of what you're doing is a good first step, now you need to move forward and try to be whatever it is you wanted to be.
You are right. Girls want men, who has their shit together. I tried the same once. Played Playstation all the time. Eventually gf left me. But then I got my shit together and with new and better gf. Lesson learned.
My manly advice
Keep your facade and make it real. If you want to get your shit together. If you reveal the truth. The gf will go. It's instincts.
Your story resonates with me enough that I'm going to reply even though I'm on mobile.
>be 21yo college deopout
>quit decent job a few months ago
>didn't even mean to
>just too depressed to get out of bed for a few weeks
>moved back in with parents
>tell them I got laid off
>It's been over 2 months since I've seen a paycheck
>completely out of money now
>-$600 in my bank account
>almost 3k in credit card debt
>10k student loan debt
>10k auto loan debt
>havent payed towards any of that in a while
>probably gonna get repo'd/killed idk
>parents don't know how fucked up my financial situation is
>cut communication with all friends
>literally no joy left in life
>living here makes me feel 14 again
>shame and guilt are my new primary emotions
>spend all day laffing at memes to avoid thinking about problems
>probably only a few days left before collectors rape my ass
>considering suicide, but hopefully I'm better than that
>spend all day laffing at memes to avoid thinking about problems
that's literally me, i don't even game anymore cause i spend the whole time i'm doing it hating myself, just spend my time on here and /pol/, and yet even though it fucking up literally my entire life i can't tell you why i'm doing it
>be me, 19
>depressed as fuck with social anxiety
>i get out, meet this 29 years old handsome man
>i become his boyfriend, everything is so nice in my life
>he's my only reason to live(it's sad i know but aren't we all?)
>fast forward i thank god I met him.
>he's becoming cold, distant, would tell me to find someone else, suspicious, would ignore me, wouldn't car if we break up
>starts hitting me at his house, car, public, everywhere
>he wants to break up for no reason at all
>i am left heartbroken, he friendzones me
>fall into depression again
>meds stop working
>i tell him I'll kill myself because the damage he did to me
>i fake my own death
>find out later he suicide too because he couldn't stand the fact that I killed myself because of him
>i cry everyday and plan my own death
>doctor appointment,cry there and tell him nothing bad happened to me just depression
>he prescribes me 5 kind of different medication
It's not even directly an avoidance technique, either. It's just what happens. I end up browsing the internet for hours at a time because that's what i'd rather do. I can't offer much help, because I'm in the same boat, /b/ro.
> i don't even game anymore cause i spend the whole time i'm doing it hating myself
It's pretty bad when video games seem like a chore. I don't play much anymore either.
>I end up browsing the internet for hours at a time because that's what i'd rather do
yep i'm on 4chan for probably hundreds of hours a week, i've tried everything to stop but i can't and shits killing me, at this point in time i've basically lost all respect for myself for being so pathetic
holy fuck lady, look shits bad and you'll never be able to drop the baggage from that mess, but remember the bastard, whether you loved him or not starting hitting you and fucking with you emotionally, you shouldn't have faked your own death to get back at him, but you aren't the only one to blame, that and tbh if a guy offs himself like that there were probably underlying issues, particularly if he was abuse and shit which wasn't your fault, he was probably a powder keg
Jesus, that's pretty fucked if real.
When I was 19, I too met a 20-something guy.
We saw each other on and off for a few months.
>he's becoming cold, distant
Yup, except it was me doing that.
Pretty shitty feeling, knowing you guys are drifting apart, right?
Depression does that to relationships.
Just gotta find someone who understands and is willing to help you through it all.
Or at least, that's what they tell me.
YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE
BEING SO WORTHLESS IS ALRIGHT WITH ME
DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE ON 4CHAN YOU'RE FREE
WE ARE ALL WORTHLESS
Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to have a fap and then maybe reconsider my life's choices (for like 5 minutes and then I'll be on Twitter or something, idk)
After the honeymoon phase wore off, I realized that, while I enjoyed the companionship, I just couldn't put in the effort necessary to keep up a relationship. It felt like, with every passing week that calling/texting my SO, trying to maintain a healthy work/life balance, and actually going out with him felt more like a chore. To not fault of his tho, I was just burned out on everything in my life.
And of course, at the time I didn't have the communication skills to convey all of this to him. So I just kind of drifted away from him and eventually broke up with him. Really shitty things done on my part, but the shame of any potential negative action prevented me from moving at all.
in high school i would stand in my bedroom window and strip for my neighbor. sometimes we'd have phone sex while i got naked or i'd give him a little dance. he'd jack off to me and it would turn me on so much. i'd finger myself to him jacking off too. his dad would later start watching me thinking i was trying to get him off. sometimes they'd be jacking to me at the same time from their rooms and not even know that were doing it at the same time. i was such a slut senior year. now i'm really into public sex and lesbian porn. i love trying to pick up straight girls at bars and making out with them in front of their boyfriends. makes me so wet. pic is my body. would you jack off to me? make me cum.
Hey! A friend of mine killed herself. The guy couldn't put up with her drama anymore and they split. She killed herself later on. She was such a fuckin nice person I swear! Loving and caring for the world and people. IF I had the chance I would tell her to stop wasting her life on people without the love she deserved. The guy just wanted to pound some pussy. Which is okay. I would tell her. Go somewhere and work for food. Volunteer to help ppl in need. You can literally do anything! Just don't kill yourself. If you feel guilt for a person who killed himself. Pay back by saving another. 2+2=4. If you kill yourself, then you have killed two persons. (even though it wasn't completely your fault if u ask me). Be a.. What's it called..
Listen you are only one mind. One head. Find a group to join and talk about those things. Cmon now.
>Told new gf I have a job but I dont have one (and haven't had one for a year)
>Continue to tell gf I like her even though I don't and don't want to be in a relationship with her
>Told gf I used a condom. cummed in her instead (she's got the implant tho)
You must be new here.
We at /b/ constantly tell people to kill themselves
Why? I don't know.
Probably some projecting of their own life's failures.
But I'd like to thank you for this post anyway.
It's seems sincere.
I'm sure it will help someone out there.
I love Steven Universe and listen to all of its songs.
Nothing wrong with being a fan of something, no matter how much /b/ tells you otherwise. Despite the NO FUN ALLOWED rhetoric you see here, it's okay to like things.
No need to be embarrassed.
Worth it. You have chosen wisely.
Thanks for the ass. I'll add it to mein collection. ass4ass
>implying i don't already have that ass
you think i've been sitting her for months lying to everyone i love and being completely unproductive m8?
Used to be close friends with a lesbian.
Got tired of her bullshit, her friend's bullshit, her gf's bullshit and all the associated depressed drama that went with it.
Dropped all contact with her and all the people we'd hang out with.
Don't even care. I don't really have a lot of friends to begin with, but honestly, listening to her shit got to be a tiring chore.
She made me hate lesbians in general too, with all their drama.
My collection is quite unorganized and just starting