Does /b/ know any good science jokes?
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders half a beer, the second orders a quarter of a beer, the third orders an eighth of a beer... The bartender interrupts them, points at a sign that reads "Patrons: please know your limits", then pours them exactly one beer.
>>682427645
You don't know math, that should be 2 beers for limit. Fag.
>>682427645
why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9.
That one really cracks everybody up at the mensa meetings i go to
>>682427947
Learn to sum, idiot.
A cop pulls over a subatomic particle and says "sir, are you aware that you were going twice the speed limit?" "Great," says the particle, "now I'm lost."
>>682427645
an allosaurus and a t-rex walk into a bar
the bartender tells them one has to leave
he's from the wrong epoc
>>682428257
Okay that made me laugh
>>682427645
>>682427645
3 logicians walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "would you all like a beer then?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second logician says "I don't know."
The third logician says "yes we would."
>>682427645
Along with "Antimatter," and "Dark Matter," we've recently discovered the existence of "Doesn't Matter," which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever.
>>682428257
I don't get it. What's the play on the term "epoc" I'm missing? I get that it's a period of time and both dinosaurs existed in different ones, but the punch line is still beyond me.
>>682428731
Kek
>>682428257
Is the joke really just the exist in different times or is something funny going on here
>>682427645
Larry was a shitty chemist, and Larry is no more. Because what Larry thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Wanna hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Wanna hear a joke about Potassium?
K.
>>682429083
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first says "I'll have some H2O", the second one says "I'll have some H2O, too". The second one died.
>>682427645
"Global warming"
>>682427645
You're a unit of measurement Harry
A Watt?
>>682427947
Be 2 if the first guy asked for a full but it was started at a half so 0.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
>>682429372
It's just 1, dude. No need for all the 9s. The series converges to 1.
The irony of a science inspired joke thread filled with jokes featuring puns is not lost on me. Low brow humor at its finest.
>>682429448
All these jokes are fucking shit. Putting aside that they're puns, they're the ones that fucking everyone tells. And they were never any good to begin with.
>>682429448
Where's your high-brow joke then, shitstain?
I love it when people criticize threads while literally contributing nothing at all.
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
>>682429660
Not contributing doesn't mean you can't call out a shit thread for being shit, you raging tumor.
>>682427645
a comet and the sun walk into a bar
the bartender didn't need to ask whos paying twice
>>682429781
Opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one, and nobody wants to hear about anyone else's.
Contribute or fuck off.
>>682429439
I get that.. I was just stating that if you half a half infinitely you just keep adding 9's to the end of 0.9 infinitely, it never actually gets to 1.0 until it's rounded off
>>682429920
Not contributing at all is better than contributing fucking garbage, anon.
>>682429781
It does though. Be the change you want to see, faggot. If you have nothing better to contribute than anyone else, you literally have no ground to stand on, you autist.
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?
OCT 31 = DEC 25
>>682429992
>autist
You don't know what that word means, anon. See>>682429963
>>682429955
you get 1. it has nothing to do with "rounding off", also you don't "add 9s".
your math is bad, go read up on some basics.
>>682430052
Still not seeing you contributing fuck-all to this thread but a worthless opinion.
>HURRRRRR I HAVE THE BEST SENSE OF HUMOR OF EVERYONE YOU ARE ALL PLEBS
Literally kill yourself.
>>682429955
This has nothing to do with rounding, anon. And you're not adding 9s. But I see what you're trying to say.
>>682429996
as an Informatics student I fucking love this
also fuck captcha
>>682429996
kek
<---- With one of these, witches are powerless over you
>>682430152
>putting words in my mouth
I said not contributing at all is better than contributing hot garbage, you teenager. That's all. Don't be a retard.
>>682430227
you must be german
>>682430152
Since you like puns so much why not go back to your reddit safespace you enlightened cum stain?
>>682429915
That's alot of lions
>>682430264
being this new on 4chan
>>682430264
How about you just move on with your life instead of shitting up threads you don't even like with your opinion that nobody cares about?
>>682430339
>Still using the reddit meme
>Go back to 9gag
>>682429955
.9 repeating is literally equal to 1. Like, it's actually 1. 13.9 repeating is literally 14. It just is. It's some weird magic voodoo bullshit, but there's no rounding.
>>682430376
>newfag calling others newfags
Yeah, sure, alright buddy. Just make sure to go to bed early enough to get up for school in the morning.
>>682430299
how'd you know?
>>682428044
Because seven was a registered six offender.
>>682430549
Found the newfag
>>682430559
Informatik
>>682429920
>>682429992
>>682430152
b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016b2016
>>682427645
Oxygen Titanium and Manganese walk into a bar
the bartender looks at Oxygen and tells him to leave, you have to be over 21 to drink here
>>682430230
fucking hex inverter
my sides are now in orbit
>>682430549
never said newfag
only newfags use newfag
>u a newfag, newfag
>>682430610
Repeat it all you want buddy. Doesn't make it true though.
>>682428164
That's chemistry/physics
A mathimatician and a physicist come into a room with a naked girl. They are both 2 meters away from the girl. The girl says they are allowed to can halfe the distance between them as often es they like.
The mathimatician storms out of the room yelling "i will never get to the girl then, fuck this shit"
The physicist stays and just say "Yeah, but i will come close enough for every physical applikation. "
>>682428723
nice
>>682428044
Fuckin lost. Op use this the next time you want to impress Jessica
>>682430677
>literally said new
ok, kid
>>682430641
>Pretending /b/ was ever anything but a hot garbage dump
>This meme will never fucking die
>>682430104
How about you read up on basics. If you start at half and you half that half to a quarter you get 0.75 if you add half a quarter its 0.875 and it keeps getting bigger but it never actually hits 1.0 at any time even if you keep halving a googolplex of times. By infinity you never get 1.0 you just get infinitely closer.
>>682427645
baby i wanna..... expecto proton that azz
>>682430801
I think you're the one who needs to brush up on the basics, anon. We solved that conundrum as a species about 400 years ago with the invention of calculus. Like literally, that's what calculus was invented to solve. Infinite series like that. Taking the limit of that series gives you 1. That's what you get when you at 1/2^n an infinite amount of times.
>>682428044
dont you gotta pay for that shit
>>682430623
i see
>>682428749
It's not a pun you dimwit. If the dinosaurs both walk into the bar at the same time then one of them must have come from another epoc. Either that or we've got a record to update
>>682430773
>>682430801
Oh for fuck's sake guys.
The sum a + ar + ar^2 + ar^3 + ... (infinitely many terms) = a / (1 - r).
In my joke (yes, OP here, inb4 kill yourself), a = 0.5 and r = 0.5 so the sum is 0.5 / 0.5 = 1. No fucking rounding.
You're thinking of the sum a + ar + ar^2 + ... + ar^n (finite number of terms), for n arbitrarily large. It approaches the limit of the infinite sum but never reaches it.
Now can we have nice things, please?
>>682430801
>>682430919
take it to the mensa meetings nords
>>682430494
>>682430201
>>682430104
Non math fag here, can someone please explain this to me ?
>>682429996
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't
>>682430801
Ok now think about this
Write down the result of one minus point nine repeating, like
1 - 0.9 = 0.1
1 - 0.99 = 0.01
1 - 0.999 = 0.000001
1 - 0.999...999 = 0.000...001
right? right.
now take it to the infinity:
1 - 0.999... = 0.000...1?
yea but there should be an infinite number of zeros there, if you can write a 1 you should be writing zero instead,
so the one at the end cannot exist because if it did, it would've been a zero
so 1 - 0.999... = 0.000... = 0
so 1 = 0.999...
>>682430801
>>682430919
Who is fucking right now??
>>682431086
you need an explanation on limits or periodic decimals?
What did the particle say to the quantum physicist?
Now you see me. Now you dont.
Knock knock
Who's there?
A wave.
A wave what?
A particle.
A wave particle what?
Nugga im a photon.
Wow no puns holy shit that was so fucking hard
>>682431097
nah, that makes 2, there are some who don't understand ternary, that makes 10
>>682431086
It's hard to explain in non-mathy terms. In a sense, you're getting closer and closer and closer to a value, until the value you get is "close enough" to the actual value of the term, when you go by the definition of a limit. It just happens to work out, through math voodoo, that "close enough" ends up being the actual value you're looking for.
>>682431131
1/9 = 0,1111111
2/9 = 0,22222
3/9= 0,33333
4/9=0,4444444
5/9=0,5555555
6/9=0,6666666
7/9=0,777777
8/9=0,8888888
9/9=0,99999999=1
Much simpler
>>682430955
How is this a joke. I don't get it.
>>682430367
More than enough to overpower/devour all hoo manz and assimilate and improve upon our technology at an unprecedented rate. They'll need more resources, so to avoid extinction they'll have cured cancer, global warming and the food crisis by next Christmas. So with that technology The lions will probably have enslaved the sun within 2 years. Lions win.
>>682431199
bazinga
>>682431199
but also pretty shitty
>>682431142
They're different ways of looking at the same problem. In a classic sense, the first anon is right. You can't add something an infinite number of times. Because you can always add an extra term on the end of things. Anon #2 is more correct though, because calculus, through some math witchcraft which I won't go into here, lets you solve classically "unsolvable" problems like "what's the result of adding an infinite number of fractions together?"
>>682427645
Numberphine on yt
They have a video about math jokes explained
Why 6 fears 7? Because 7 ate 9
>>682430702
You see Ivan, every time physicist get girl
>>682427645
A proton and a neutron walk into a bar. The proton orders a drink, and hands the bartender the money. Then the neutron orders, and when he goes to pay for it, the bartender says, "For you, it's no charge."
>>682431142
>>682430919 is right
the other idiot doesn't know what limits do. he thinks he's right because he is lacking knowledge. or he is simply retarded
>>682431249
Man, thanks for trying to explain, and this is obviously over my head, but the math voodoo seems kind of ... Inconceivable? I don't get how close enough becomes exactly the value.
>>682431433
Nice one, anon
>>682427645
what do you do with a dead chemist? you barium.
why don't you use google?
>>682431433
Later two atoms leave that bar. One say's "I think I left an electron behind" The second asks "are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive"
>>682431710
As an example try making components like this. Steel block with a 50.000000mm hole. Steel peg 49.99999999 MM OD. In practical terms it's the same thing, they will jam.
What do the userbase of tumblr and the solar system have in common?
High mass dense bodies
>>682427645
>A FUCKING SUPERTASK JOKE
You got me OP.
>>682431292
entire at the same time
same time
same time
one has to leave cause you are not from the same time
>>682431922
Use more lubricant (answer to most of life's problems)
>>682431807
Hurr. Rectum? Damn near killed em. Hurr
ITT: The Big Baginza Theory tier jokes that make middler schoolers feel clever.
>>682431710
It's not that it's over your head, it's just that it takes a fundamental shift in your viewpoint. Remember, it took a few incredibly smart people to even think of calculus, even though we've been doing math for a few thousand years.
A part of it is that the system is set up in such a way that that's just what happens. It sounds like a copout answer, but that's kind of how it just works. Remember, math is just an abstraction that describes how the world works.
Another way you could think about it, I suppose, is to think about what infinity actually means. It isn't a number, like a lot of people might consider it. It's a concept. You can have some infinities that are bigger than others. Some infinities that contain things that others do not, and so on. So when you think about it that way, what's the difference between any arbitrary value, let's say 1, and any value that's infinitely close to 1? It's not like there's a discernible between the two values- they're infinitely close to one another. If there was a visible difference between the two values, then they wouldn't, by definition, be infinitely close to one-another.
>>682431922
I totally get it in a practical application, just not a theoretical one. I thought maths were supposed to be exact? In the situation you are talking about, it jams in near perfect, but there's still a (insert really small measurement here) gap in the diameter, right?
>>682431710
the logic behind this is the following:
in "real life" you can not perform an infinite number of additions. with so called limits (math voodoo) you help yourself and say you CAN. The infinite number of additions you want to perform approach the value 1. you then put a limit on that shit, bam it IS 1.
A guy walks into a bar
Ouch
>>682432131
Yep, this.
Kinda sad that it validates Suggsverse though.
>>682432095
A woman walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre.
The barman gave it to her.
>>682432242
This is funny.
>>682432131
Your explanation at the end is making sense to me. Thanks for taking the time to explain.
>>682432324
Hah!
>>682432107
poor you, should i explain some jokes for you?
>>682432324
What's the difference between a microwave and a woman?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
>>682429781
>>682429920
Arguing on the internet is like the special Olympics even if you win you're still retarded
What does time and hillbillies have in common? They both relative to all observers.
>>682432345
No problem. It's worth looking up some videos online that will explain it better than I can. Try patrickjmt.com if that's still around. Typing out math explanations is difficult without a typesetting language like LaTeX.
>>682432596
Don't you love how people get pretentious about fucking jokes? Like, who gives a fuck if you've already heard them they're jokes dumbass that's how they work. You tell them, people hear them, then they tell them. And who cares what YOU think is funny, humor is nowhere near universal.
Not to mention all the people bitching in this thread all have contributed nothing.
>>682432675
no, you're retarded
And for my last scientific joke sans puns i will steal the words from a wise anon. Pic related
>>682429310
Triggered
If you lower your standards and consider psychiatry a science..
A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but cling-wrap shorts.
The psychiatrist says "well I can clearly see your nuts"
>>682427645
here you go
http://link.dabebook.com/3
>>682432752
just like you
>>682432752
I fucking bitched and contributed. Get the fuck back to your pun upvoting containment zone
>>682431710
> I don't get how close enough becomes exactly the value
Infinitely close.
0.999... is only equal to 1 if there are an infinite number of 9s.
>>682427645
>>682432822
Allegedly true story:
Some years back the American Psychiatric Association held its annual meeting in LA. Apparently a billboard was put up outside the conference venue saying "10,000 psychiatrists are coming to Los Angeles. How do you feel about that?"
>>682433086
Finally a joke worth getting, even if it's a repost of something an anon said awhile ago.
one atom against another
i lost an electron
whereupon the other answered are you positive
>>682433086
as long as it is 0.999...... you can add a 9 on the end so infinity should be 1 because you can no longer add more to it
>>682432345
Also, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYSI-AHUqRM
>>682433436
And don't forget:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HYiaYyfp8Q
>>682433086
OK, my moment to be dumb, how is this not a non-converging arithmetic series?
parallel lines have so much in common too bad they will never meet
>>682433653
kek, nice one
>>682433609
I thought the same thing
>>682433584
>kek'd
Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D-QD_HIfjA
Einstein developed a theory about space
and that was about time too
>>682433846
the universe was cool before it mattered
>>682433609
>>682433713
It's a result you get by doing a Ramanujan sum of that series. It's not a sum in the traditional sense because yes, that's a divergent series, but the answer it spits out in this case, -1/12, is a mathematically useful answer. Think of it this way: a Ramanujan sum is to a "normal" sum, as a normal sum is to classical mathematics. It's a way to describe something which it doesn't seem should be describable. And yes, it's some wizardry bullshit.
>>682427645
>Does /b/ know any good science jokes?
Global warming
>>682433609
there is some retarded fake proof that it converges to -1/12 i tried to watch a video on it once but about 10 seconds in it started spouting bullshit so i gave up
>>682429168
Johnny was a Christ's son, but Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4.
>>682434302
Really phone? Correct chemist to Christ? Fuck you.
>>682434219
Uh, it's not a retarded fake proof. At all. Not understanding something doesn't make it fake and dumb, anon.
>>682434160
>Ramanujan
>wizardry bullshit
Pic related
>>682429341
Nice
>>682434215
>>682430647
nice
>>682430367
You gotta be kitten me
>>682433846
>>682433951
Awesome
>>682434366
Jesus Chemist anon, checked
>>682434408
what i watched claimed that the series of (-1)^n converged to 1/2 which isn't true, that's where i stopped
>>682432614
Unless anal
>>682434694
That's because that's the result when you perform a Ramanujan sum on the divergent series which takes that form. You're confusing a traditional sum and a Ramanujan sum. They aren't the same things.
>>682434694
>Although the Ramanujan summation of a divergent series is not a sum in the traditional sense, it has properties which make it mathematically useful in the study of divergent infinite series, for which conventional summation is undefined.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramanujan_summation
So yeah, it's basically like the female orgasm. Doesn't truly exist but still a useful fiction.
A logistician's wife texts him : bring a litre of milk, and if there are eggs, bring back a dozen. So he comes home with twelve litres of milk and says to his wife : " there were eggs "
>>682430702
underrated
>>682427645
why don't mountain climbers get bit by mosquitos?
because scalers and vectors don't go together!
how many german scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
one, because they're smart, efficient and have no sense of humor
What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?
Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski
>>682435091
By a similar token: What does the b stand for in Benoit B Mandelbrot? Benoit B Mandelbrot.
>>682427645
How did an infinite amount of scientists never take calculus one.
>>>682428723
Pls explain. Probabilities?
>>682435250
I get this
>>682435324
First logician doesn't know if everyone wants a beer, so he must want a beer and be unsure about the alcoholic needs of his peers.
Same goes for the second.
The third can infer that 1 and 2 want beers, and since he wants one too he says "Yes, we all want beer"
>>682435324
The question was "would you all like a beer?"
The first logician to answer wants a beer, but he can't answer yes because he doesn't know of the other two logicians also want beers, since the question was "do you all want beers," and not "do you want a beer."
The second logician knows that the first one wanted a beer because if he hadn't he would have been free to say "no," because if the first logician hadn't wanted a beer then by definition, not all of them wanted a beer. By the same token though, even though the second logician also wants a beer, he can't say yes because he doesn't yet know if the third logician wants a beer.
The third logician also wants a beer, and can thus answer that "yes, they all want a beer," because he's logically deduced that the first two logicians also want beers, because if they hadn't then they would have just said so.
>>682435324
When the barman asks "would you all like a beer", he's asking all of them if they'd each like a beer.
The logicians (being logicians) interpret his question as asking "would all three of you like a beer" - the first two can't answer because they haven't heard everyone's opinion yet.
At least that's how I understood it.
>>682435324
First and second can't speak for *all* of them hence only the last one speaking can be sure.
You <insert insult concerning knowledge you don't have and I do by pure coincidence>.
>>682435552
>>682435587
>>682435641
>>682435655
Thanks /b/ros!
>>682435324
If it's probabilities you're after, I have two goats ad a sports car right here.
Not so much a joke as a puzzle: three logicians fall asleep under a tree, and a prankster comes along and draws on all their faces with magic marker. When they wake up the three logicians look at each other and burst out laughing.
Then one of them suddenly stops. Why?
>>682429992
I love the quote from Gandhi followed by "faggot." real nice touch there
>>682436063
He was perplexed because hes the only one that could have done it, and since he knows he didnt its likely his face was drawn on too?
>>682436210
Maybe that faggot just wants a world where faggots call eachother faggots, you faggot.
>>682434956
>>682434948
>>682434408
You can't just invent a new tricky way of summing things and pretend that the answer it spits out is admissible in the real world. Maybe this method is mathematically convenient for some circumstances but in this context it's useless unless you're a greasy pseudo-braniac trying and failing to impress someone. It's clearly a divergent sum and using different summation techniques voids the validity of your answer.
>>682436063
I dont get the goats/sportscar
>>682431292
Moses and you walk into a bar at the same time wait jk he's like 2kbc one of you has to leave
>>682431333
Well, trips
>>682436457
You're in a game show and you're shown three doors. Behind two of them are goats, and behind the third is a sportscar. You win whatever is behind the one door that you choose to open.
But there's a twist. After you choose a door, the host opens another door revealing a goat. He gives you a choice: do you still want to open the door your picked first, or switch to the other unopened door?
So the question is, should you switch?
>>682436331
validity of the answer depends on the question.
many scientific breakthroughs happened by coincidence. if they wanna fool around with some wizard summation they just invent it and do it. you never know where someone might end up with this. It is obvious that youd be filthy rich if someone was to give you 0+n dollars every day for n days. No point in arguing that
>>682436331
No, it doesn't you faggot. And it's not "useless unless you're a greasy pseudo-braniac." There are pretty concrete theories that make use of Ramanujan sum results like this.
And as to your "you can't just invent a new tricky way of summing things" comment, just what the fuck do you think any of math has ever been? Fucking every tool we use today was, at one point a "new tricky way of doing things," that "isn't admissible in the real world." You think niggers just initially accepted that you could sum a convergent series like 1+1/2^n? No you nigger. Because none of that shit makes sense otherwise. Just because you don't see the usefulness of it does not mean that it's not valid math, you raging tumor. You're not the arbiter of the math world. You're a fucking anon posting on /b/.
>>682436676
You always switch. It's the monty hall problem.
>>682432062
>entire
>>682436805
Yeah, but >>682436457 apparently isn't familiar with it so I thought it might give him some statistical lulz.
>>682432107
If you're not as smart as the middle schoolers that means you'd be in... MODS MODS MODS
>>682436744
don't answer to retards
>>682434956
a ramanujan summation is not a classical sum, trying to get cute with words and then coming up with this is just bullshit, the series does not converge nor does it sum to -1/12, it's ramanujan summation might, but that's a different result altogether.
It's the slightly more complex equivalent of saying "one plus one equals zero because what i call plus is actually a subtraction"
>>682436910
Thanks that was fun ^_^
>>682436676
You never switch, goats >> cars.
>>682436211
On the right track (and dubs), but nope
>>682436831
>>682436923
That nigger needs to read a book, anon.
>>682436963
Ask anyone who's had exhaust pipe burns on their dick
>>682436910
Oh I see. I missed that you were responding to him.
>>682436964
>>682436964
FUCKING TELL ME
>>682436063
Did he write "I stole your car" on their faces and it was his car?
>>682428973
No. It's just shit.
>>682437277
Dubs can't be denied. Suppose the logicians are A, B and C, and A is the one who stops laughing. His thoughts go like this:
Suppose my face isn't drawn on. Then B and C are laughing at each other. But if my face is clear then B would realise that C can only be laughing at him, and B would stop laughing (same for C).
Since B and C haven't stopped laughing, my (A's) face must be drawn on as well. Which is not fucking funny because I have a hot date with an undergrad tonight.
>>682427645
*trigger warning for nonmetricfags*
Einstein, newton and pascal play hide and seek.
It's einsteins turn to count, he closes his eyes and starts to count degressive from 10 to 0.
Pascal runs away in a straight vector from einstein, with his fastest achievable velocity.
Newton stays next to einstein and draws in the dirt below his feet 4 straight lines, 1 meter each, forming a square of acceptable precision.
Einstein reaches zero, opens his eyes and says "Newton burnt!". Newton keks and says "Pascal is out, i'm newton on a squaremeter".
>>682436964
>>682437277
Wait I got this shit.
So since the other two are laughing, it means that they all must have marker on their faces-
If only one of the other two had marker on their faces then that one wouldnt be laughing at the other. Since all the logicians laughed they must all have marker on them?
>>682436063
since neither of the other's stopped laughing after a short while he figured out all three of them had something on their faces. If he didn't have anything on his own then the other two would have quickly realized they also had something and stopped much faster.
>>682430566
kek. I love kiwi jokes.
>>682432131
There are certain axioms in math (set theory?) that make this true
Whether they are true in the absolute sense in the world belong to philosophy
In mathematics they give consistent theory and that is all that counts
>>682436955
> It's the slightly more complex equivalent of saying "one plus one equals zero because what i call plus is actually a subtraction"
which is totally fine. You can do that. It is a different way and gives you different results. You just explained it to yourself
>>682432169
Theoretically; in real life you'd be down to surface roughness and thermal expansion.
>>682437798
That's sort of it, 6/10 would potentially bang
>>682437811
Yeah, pretty much - see >>682437564
>>682433653
This is now a feels thread
>Captcha is mountains
>I will never climb any of them
> feels
>>682435250
My head hurts now
>>682438019
I mean yeah, pretty much. Mathematics isn't an absolute. It's only absolute within the context of itself. It's only absolute insofar as everything must logically follow from what comes before it. But math is an abstraction. It describes the physical world around us. It can be defined any which way you want, as long as it's logically consistent with itself. We've just happened to define things in such a way that they're convenient for us because, really, why would you do things any other way.
>>682438276
Why not, nigger? Just fucking go and do it. There is nothing stopping you, really.
>>682427645
What's red and white and black all over?
A NEWSPAPER!
I think the ocean is salty because land doesn't wave back.
>>682428723
卍h†卐╠þ, brilliant. I'm gonna remember this one.
how did the necrophile get caught?
The rotten cunt split on him
>>682430691
Because physics and chemistry aren't math fields? Fucking retard.
>>682438087
you can do that sure, but it's stupid to give it the same name as something that already exists to only cause confusion/impress someone. "The ramanujan sum of the series is -1/12" is a perfectly acceptable statment and to me quite irrelevant, however saying that it converges to -1/12 is just being an attention seeking faggot. Redfining words gets you nowhere. if it's something different give it a different name, what makes it worse is that it actually has a different name and some people just decide to not use it for the shock value. As i said before it's just getting cute with words.
>>682437737
Ok, I feel like I'm missing the mother of all painful puns here. Can someone explain pls?
Also feels:
>Captcha is store fronts
>I will never shop at any of them
Why did the cow win a noble prize? Because it was out standing in its field
>>682438914
You're splitting hairs, anon. The Ramanujan sum of all the positive integers is -1/12. It's a traditionally divergent series, whose value is -1/12. And there are multiple ways of arriving at that answer.
>>682438946
In fairness shops are rather easier than mountains
If you disagree you can do the mountains for me, I'll do the shops for you. Does that work?
>>682438946
1 Pascal = 1 Newton / metre²
>>682439100
What if the shops are the only place to buy mountaineering gear?
>>682438946
Pascals and newtons are names for units in the SI system. A newton is a unit of force and a pascal is a unit of pressure. One pascal is defined as the pressure exerted by one newton of force over an area of one square meter.
>>682430702
Fucking underrated, bravo chap.
>>682428723
This one is pretty good. I just don't think my friends would get it tho
>>682438968
good one
>>682439213
>>682439244
Cheers /b/ros, all makes sense now.
Pic related, a token of my gratitude.
>>682430549
*insert southpark "retard alert" meme*
It's not 1 you cannot change placements without rounding
Infinitely close but not 1
Grade 12 math ftw
>>682439220
We could be screwed then
> feels e^3
>>682439481
What? Who are you responding to?
>>682439481
assuming youre not a troll
has it ever occured to you that grade 12 maths is way simplified?
>>682439868
Someone called anonymous
>>682427947
Can you even add? Just shut the fuck up.
>>682440056
Don't waste your time on him, I hear he's full of shit
>>682439481
>>682440056
Being "infinitely close" to something is the same thing as being that thing, as far as numbers go. If you're any number of decimal places off, then you aren't "infinitely close."
>>682440186
People into sadism, necrophilia and bestiality are just flogging a dead horse.
>>682440088
Checked for a left and right of dubs
Give me babies
The best part about UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them or not.
>>682437737
Just told my wife this, and she laughed out loud.
>>682440542
A TCP packet walks into a bar and says "I want a beer." The bartender says "You want a beer? The packet replies "Yes, a beer."
If you had an infinite nomber of lead blocks woukd it weigh more than an infinite number of aluminium blocks of the same size?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Pig
Pig who?
Pig in the oven.
>>682441079
That's not a classical example of two infinities of different sizes as I would describe them but sure, I'll bite. Depending on your point of view yes, they would. It would be a larger infinity than the aluminum blocks. (but also not really.)
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Martini sir?" Caesar replies, "Just one please"
>>682428044
This fucking guy
Dad joke of the day:
How does a mathematician deal with constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.
>>682441691
A guy tried to sell me a coffin, but I told him that's the last thing I need.
>>682429955
OH LOOK THIS BAIT AGAIN.
Guess it was to early to come back w8ing only 2 years for it to be gone.
>>682441991
It's not bait when there are plenty of people who sincerely don't understand this shit.
>>682442333
Finitely recurring trips of truth
>>682442444
Two trips in a row anon
>>682427645
i used to think that most women were redheads, till i realized that they only looked red because they were accelerating away from me
>>682442532
Exactly, that's the recurrence.
>>682442705
kek
rolling for my own purposes
>>682430677
>new fag
>new fag
>only newfags use newfags
>newfag
>>682432780
nice!!
>>682442333
No one here needs to understand why or argue about it because it is a scientic fact, just like the monty hall meme. I'd get it if it was some sort of paradox.
>>682443907
The argument isn't about whether it's fact or not. It's arguing with faggots who claim that it isn't true, and telling them all the reasons why they're a faggot for thinking what they do.
>>682428044
>>682428044
>NAMBLA meeting
Fixed that for you
>>682430919
You'd only be able to divide a beer up so much, as soon as you reach the planck length, physical division won't be possible. It's not infinite.
>>682444835
That's part of the joke. There are no infinities in the physical world. But there are in math.
>>682445118
Yeah, I somehow missed that part...
>>682445118
Similarly, some of the mathematicians would have to be arbitrarily small for them to all fit in the bar at once.
>>682445518
Yep.
>>682444835
>planck length
i'd say as soon as you reach molecular level you'd be fucked up since what you gave them past that point couldn't be considered beer.
Funny thread.
None of you will ever see a naked woman.
>>682446061
In Australia, that would be the half poured for the first mathematician.
>>682447722
>>682442705
>red heads love me .. They stick around . They hang out with me
They find me attractive
>Doppler redshift proved wrong ..haha thanks anon
>>682428044
5 fears 6 why?
6 7 8
>>682448599
Dat filename
Don't trust atom! They make up everything
>>682449608
kek
(Although you should trust people who like big butts: they cannot lie)
>>682438850
Because OP started a thread about math? Who's the fucking retard?
>>682430801
Calm down Zeno.
>>682446061
That's how they make budweiser
>>682450339
He's still bitter about that "sure bet" he placed on Achilles
>>682450231
No, he started a thread about good science jokes.
learn to read you illiterate fag
>>682431922
So a difference of 0.000000001 mm matters?
In other words, 0.001 nanometers, or about 1/100th of the width of a single atom?
You must have some precision milling equipment if you're able to get sub-atomic tolerances.
>>682450774
Bitches don't know bout my precision milling equipment
>>682430549
Newfagg
>>682441298
And on the way home he was assaulted by several hoodla.
>>682450719
that was the point, nigger
>>682451424
Classic
