ITT: /b/ is in prison
What're you in for?
>>681975243
Assault and battery.
That bitch was making fun of my kids, and had it coming.
realistically: ordering drugs off the internet
what i'd tell people i'm in for: armed bank robbery, or something of similar badassness
Too many dank memes
What aren't I in for...
>>681975243
I was caught masturbating in the floor tile section of Home Depot
>>681975243
dindu nuffin
Being slash, the tire cutter from Westland, Netherlands.
>>681975243
sex crimes
>>681975243
Drug trafficking & possession with intent to sell.
>>681975243
Nothing I'm innocent, they set me up.
Stealing cars, actually went to a correctional for that one.
I'm the guard.
Alright boys, someone's got drugs. Line up, we're gonna need to perform a cavity search.
>>681976335
Please sir, me first. Use a whole hand.
Illegal posession of firearms and ammo and fraud.
If I could choose something it would be some crazy shit like beating up vegans with a frozen turkey.
Being on 4chan
Assault, for sure. Like without a doubt. Murder maybe
>>681975243
All them murders wot I done.
It's a fair cop gov!
Clink-clink, slap on the bracelets.
AND I was at Auntie Vi's funeral!
>>681975428
Lol white guys
>>681976409
You're clean. Move along. We're looking for people smuggling dubs into the facility.
>>681976606
Oh shit
>>681975243
Arson, affray, grievous wounding with intent and actual bodily harm.
>>681976664
HE ALMOST FOUND YOUR QUADS ITS A GOOD THING YOU HID THEM
>>681976517
Wimpy faggot detected
>>681975243
Jaywalking, regicide
>>681976606
Are you sure? Try going deeper.
>>681976606
N- No dubs h- here sir
>>681975502
This guy knows the drill
Attempted dubs
>>681976851
kek
>>681975243
downloading cd on napster
>>681976930
THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE
88?
>>681975243
Raping my former son because he transitioned into a woman and I wanted to get some of that she-dick before he turned it into a vag.
>>681976522
>>681976744
>>681976833
>DUBS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED
>CALLING ALL GUARDS
Everything
for being absolute madman
>>681975243
Jaywalking, parking in the handicapped zone, lying on my census, all the dead prostitutes and their children in my basement, and staying at a peak after it closed.
Why? Dunno, I just have the biggest blackest dick.
My brother was wrongly accused of murder so I committed armed robbery in order to get into the same prison he's in, and break him out. His name's Lincoln, have you seen him?
DROP THE DUBS AND RETURN TO YOUR CELLS AND YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED
I had illegal dubs in my possession
explosives for spider bombing furfags
I reported a post instead of calling "MODS MODS MODS" when someone posted something illegal on 4chins
>>681977397
You do but it's in your ass you fucking nigger faggot.
Off-roading in a State Park.
>>681977741
You sure it's not your ass m9 :^)
>>681975243
>I assaulted a playground of autistic children wearing hello kitty boxer shorts and wielding 2 light harddrives chained together both containing a very monumental amount of kangaroo porn
>>681977536
Oh geez bro,that was so fucking side killing orbit styling BRO'S CHECK THIS SHIT HE HAD ILLEGAL DUBS YEAH ILLEGAL DUBS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAJAHAHAHA FUCK MY MINDS BLOWN.. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT... HE'S CARRYING ILLEGAL DUBS HAHAHAHAJAHA 4CHAN SO FUNNY OH DEAR
>>681975243
5tb of lolis
>>681977774
Whoa, you just watch yourself, buddy. Coulda sworn I saw some quints.
>>681977675
They got my pretty much the same way brother. He contacted FBI directly when somebody psoted something similar. And he went to the jail. He should've just yelled for MODS
>>681977866
Yep. I installed anti-nigger rape blades in my anus. When a nigger tries to put his dick in my ass I twirl like a god damned top and cut that shit off.
>>681978126
guards please check this nigga he seems drunk. just listen how he speaks.
>>681978058
Go rot in prison you.. .well calling you shit is an insult to shit.
Snuff yourself pedo
>>681978294
8 chins
>>681975243
Illegal possesion of dubs
Large amounts of dubs have been spotted on prison grounds, calling all guards! Get in here, we need backup!
I made some Potassium Chloride. They arrested me for a salt
n-n-no dubs h-here, officer...
I'm, uh, just here for loitering
>>681978600
Mfn chekd
>>681978287
Yep
>>681978600
Chek'd
>>681978671
reporting in sir
downloading a song