ITT: Autistic thing you do when nobody's watching I'll
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Autistic thing you do when nobody's watching
I'll start:
> browse /b/
Doin' you're mum lol
>>681973948
Cosplay to compensate for my denial when faced with the fact we're all tiny, half-living specs on a rock floating through a forever-expanding abyss.
>scratch my ass hole vigorously
>sniff my socks when i take them off
>eat my own boogers
>run up the stairs like a dog, using my legs and arms
>>681974536
I do all of those.
Especially the asshole thing
Sometimes I'll go get moisturiser and have a slippy scratch
>>681974536
Using all limbs to run up the stairs is literally the best way to do it
I do it all the time, not only when I'm alone
>>681973948
I scream as loud as I can and hold myself hard.
>>681974328
shit nigga thats deeeeeeeep
>>681974536
amen to running up the stairs on all fours
Whenever I remember something embarrassing I did I spaz out and say something out loud like
I hate you
Fuck
Just give it time and they'll forget
Something like that
having seasures when i think of bullshit i did one day
Talk to my self.
Like full on conversation
Sometimes interview style
... I do accents too
Fucked up
>>681975391
sometimes i cant hide or i forget where i am . And then there are people who look at me n shit
>>681975698
I know the feel man
I'm exactly the same
>>681975185
Me too
I make faces in the mirror to myself.
I have thoughts of myself being a godlike being, and I draw the shit I see, mainly because one day I intend to hire a blacksmith/learn to smith metal and build armor that I see in my daydreams
I also have pretend conversations with myself pretending that I am talking to someone who I care about and just vent because I am too awkward to bother people with my problems
Still kinda in that gothic phase even though I am 20, wearing my colorful work uniform makes me feel wrong
I deep down would be ok with a purge just so I can know what is like to take life but would not act on it
Whenever my skin gets really itchy, I like to pour water onto the indentations in my carpet.
>>681973948
>rip out my pubes/leg hair/armpit hair in chunks when I'm stressed then eat the follicle at the end of the hair
>eat snot/boogers/eye crust/
>scratch asshole/balls/taint then smell fingers
>piss/cum in empty bottles and hide them
>peel the skin off my big toe which is calloused over
>>681975866
Sometimes i fear having some sort of autism. Or manifest of Swag?
>>681976548
Swag?
>>681973948
>I listen to this song while I dance along
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGJrWqeWlo8
I'm a guy so it's doubly embarrassing. I lock the door and close all the windows first.
>>681976297
Good luck with the armor smithing dude. You seem cool
I hate furries, bronies, special snowflakes but I would jack off to any porn involving them if it was in front of me
Sometimes I'll pretend I'm super rich and have all sorts of crazy gadgets like James Bond. I do it a lot when I'm taking a shit. I'll act like people are after me and I'll have a fake shootout.
Also sometimes I act like I'm some sort of master monk fighter. I'll use a piece of pvc pipe like it's a wooden stick and I'll fight other master-fighters. I'll have waves of them come at me, starting from easy enemies and slowly progressing, harder and harder. I do that a lot when I'm watching television
I play with toy guns and swords I have under my bed and get properly into talking to myself like I'm in a film.
I'm 19
>>681973948
masturbate repeatedly
>>681977875
Don't worry man.
I'm this guy
>>681977713
I do the same shit. I'm 22
>>681973948
Whenever I put my headphones on to listen to music, I make weird grunting noises, completely involuntary.
>have stopped wearing them since I was told
>have been going around like I'm the local fucking weirdo
Hi sort of still newfag here . Just catched myself smiling when i entered /b/. When can i actually say im not a newfag anymore?
>>681978088
newfag is a mentality, it doesnt exactly mean how new u are
if u act like you are new, u are newfag
>>681978340
Newfag detected
I rock in my chair violently when listening to music and get caught up in my imagination
also pick nose and eat boogers
I stick my finger in my belly button, in a way that fits snuggly and causes a bit of suction. I then smell the underneath of my fingernails. I also like to get a straw and put it inside my foreskin, blowing through it and watching it inflate.
The ric flair strut
Wwwoooooooooooo
>>681978428
Newfag detected
I try to suck my own dick sometimes and settle for cumming on my face and chest when I can't reach. Then I feel guilty about it after.
>>681978428
Orignial newfag here.
'newfag detected'
>>681978502
Can you really do that with your foreskin??? Cut or uncut
>>681978563
>>681978611
Team of new fags detected
>>681978012
I'll just be sat at my desk on skype and suddenly feel the urge to get up and pace around my room with a sword like I'm so next level assassin or some shit.
I always smell the gunk under the corners of my toenails after picking it out. Don't know why.
>>681973948
Chew plastic.
>>681978616
Uncut. You need to hold the foreskin to the straw, though. Looks really funny, feels kind of good as well.
I masturbate
I feel the need to pick my scabs off until the point that I tear the skin farther than the original scab so it gets bigger
>>681974536
I eat boogers too
Also I take creepshot pics at the mall.
>>681978723
Newfag detected
>>681978911
You got a fungal infection in your big toe Anon fyi, get one of those anti fungal pens from a pharmacy, toes should not be yellow/green
>>681976297
>godlike creature and you wanna make the shit you see
>feels weird wearing bright colors
>wants a purge just out of curiosity
This sounds just like me lol.. except I would never go for a purge for the fear of losing my wife and daughter
>>681973948
I have a powerful fan on the floor of my room, when my roommate goes out sometimes I stand over it to feel the wind on my ass
>>681976340
why
pretend I'm a werewolf and roar and howl at my cats
>>681978610
i do this too. also stick things up my ass. feels good - until you cum..... then the shame!!
>>681979112
Nah, hold your foreskin and pee so it fills up like a balloon
>>681979397
That ain't my toe fam. But thanks for worrying <3
>>681977533
Nailed it
Sometimes I have this overwhelming urge to rhythmically spell out the letters of large words in multiples of either 3 or 4.
I count them out in a set pattern to determine which one it belongs to and then count with the set number of fingers
for example: "rhythmically" in a multiple of 3 would be would be r-h-y/ t-h-m/ i-c-a/ l-l-y. the pattern on my fingers would be" "pinky-ring-middle/ pinky-ring-middle/" and (here's the tricky part) when I got to six, the pattern would reverse to: "middle-ring-pinky/ middle-ring-pinky
OR in a multiple of four it would be r-h-y-t/ h-m-i-c/ a-l-l-y and the pattern on my fingers would be : "pinky-ring-middle-index/ pinky-ring-middle-index" and when I got to eight the pattern would reverse to: "index-middle-ring-pinky/ index-middle-ring-pinky
and if the word was a multiple of neither? then the remaining letters would be counted out on my left in a different pattern. Complicated...but once you get the pattern and rhythm down it becomes second nature.
I used it as a kid to learn how to spell large or complicated words....I used it too much and now it's imprinted into my brain.
>>681977023
I like how genuinely happy she looks.
In contrast to our repulsive western girls who try to be as intimidating and dominating as possible in their dance. Seriously, dance as an art has been completely run into the ground in the west.
>>681978428
>>681978340
>>681978563
>>681978611
Newfags call other newfags "newfag". Lets be honest /b/ is 70% newfag since joining 4chan after 2009 classifies you as one, 2010 newfag here
>>681976548
You definitely have autism
>>681979789
Fucking newfag
>>681979467
>>681976297
Kill yourselves
>>681979713
>I like how genuinely happy she looks.
In contrast to our repulsive western girls who try to be as intimidating and dominating as possible in their dance. Seriously, dance as an art has been completely run into the ground in the west.
Being this much of a fucking weeaboo
>>681974536
I love running up the stairs on all fours lmao i legit am diagnosed with aspergers too so everyone else who does this is a pathetic faggot.
>>681974536
I doo all of those.
>I also smell my hand after scratching my balls
>>681975615
You're not alone /b/ro I do this to, no so much interview style but full conversations
>>681973948
fap
>>681979529
ive done that and it always ends up exploding after some seconds. kind of disgusting tbh.
>>681975615
I do that. The accents too. Sometimes I pretend to be German or Russian all day. I hold full debates in my head, like with a moderator and everything.
It's fun to debate your own morality.
>>681980147
not the dude you responded too but i do this shit too. especially when its all sweaty
>>681973948
Pull out my ass hairs.
>>681975185
If I remember any of my particularly autistic moments I'll either mutter "fuck" to myself and kinda briefly shudder, or if I'm around others I'll just tense all the muscles in my hands/grip whatever I'm holding quite tightly for a few seconds
>>681980427
Thats why you do it in the bath/shower, what do you think I am, some kind of animal :^)
>>681980463
>Dude, it's like the best way to gauge your need for a shower.
>>681980562
kek
>punch myself in the head ( knocked myself out once )
>>681979112
>>681979529
>tfw cut and can't do any of this
>>681974837
Thanks for telling me the name, now I can't help butt laugh when I do it noa
bump, this thread is gold!
>talk to self in head
>often in english (german fag)
>when ever I learn something and I need to understand something, I will explain it to someone in my head
>eat boogers
>act out facial impressions for thought I have too much
But that is pretty much it for now and that's not too bad I'd say...
Incest porn
>>681980099
I'm not even a weeaboo. I've never even watch an episode of anime. This video just kind of sparked the realization in me. Clearly their culture still has a femininity that the western female has lost.
>>681975185
My neck and eyes usually fuck about uncontrollably when I think about that type of shit before I go to sleep or when I'm alone drunk.
>>681981027
Its ok anon, they are working on stem-cell methods of reclaiming foreskin. (You will cover your cock in dead babies)
For the meantime you can but an extra small condom/huge balloon on the end of your cock with a hole in the end of it
>>681980109
That's not an excuse. You should be fucking pissed that your mental syndrome has become a slur word, or more importantly a meme.
But of course, you can't get pissed because you're autistic. Faggot. Have fun being an outcast of society for your whole life with no real relationships (your family only tolerated you because of your syndrome).
>>681981130
>>talk to self in head
I think that's called thinking, anon.
>>681981267
So you're saying that japanese culture is superior to western culture....weeb?
use /b/ slang/terminology when speaking to actual people "whats up faggot. aw don't be such a beta it's a term of endearment" or I say nigger out of the blue. at random times too. Even if, I'm by myself I'll i'll say for no particular reason just for the sake of saying nigger.
>>681981130
the one about explaining things mentally is really good, it lets you sort of check if you understand something properly
>>681981267
women are worthless in most far-eastern societies. Also:
You dance along to a J-pop video and you think the far eastern culture is much better. You, my friend, are a weeaboo.
>>681975185
I close my eyes and just keep repeating fuck fuck fuck fuck but not loud enough so people can hear me
I feel like they aren't bad enough to be panic attacks but as my life continues and I make more mistakes they become more frequent. Maybe they are panic attacks?
>>681981448
Dude...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oEfhUJvn5rM watching this shit video
>>681981448
yeah my life is pretty much a gigantic mistake, we're on the same page there /b/ro.
All i do is pop 4mg of klonopin and smoke weed all day anyways.
>>681981665
yes sir! It's usually a close friend of mine, gf if I have one. Really threw me of when my ex ditched me and I had to learn for my exams...
>>681981858
literally this is all that i do as a human is benzos / Z-drugs and weed
>>681981641
>criticize one small aspect of western culture
>I must think that western culture is inferior in general
Learn to distinguish between the general and the specific, logically inept pleb.
Also
>implying that the downward trend in female behavior is historically western and not the result of alien influences
It's like you don't even SUBVERSION.
>>681981707
I don't dance along to gay jap ship.
I was the one replying to guy who does that.
I was simply happy that she was happy. Far eastern culture is most definitely not superior.
>>681981858
Why klonopin, why not just acid?
>>681981641
>>681981707
Can't you fucking idiots see the korean writing in the title of the video?
It isn't even Japanese in the first place you autists. Guess it makes sense you're posting in this thread.
>>681981448
>You should be fucking pissed that your mental syndrome has become a slur word
>can't get pissed because you're autistic
>Faggot
>Have fun being an outcast of society for your whole life with no real relationships
>your family only tolerated you because of your syndrome
Look who hasn't got his porblems sorted out...
I smell my fingers
I talk to myself in a vlogging style, in english. Im from Iceland so english isnt my native language so I sound pretty fucking cringy
>>681982251
Like any of us care about the difference,you weeaboo.
>>681982323
Oh look, baby's first greentext! He's growing up so fast!
Fuck off back to 9gag, child.
>>681982251
well, maybe it's k-pop then, doesn't change anything about the argument.
Man, you are getting worked up over being called a weeaboo...
>>681982323
Nice greentext kek
>>681982537
raging 13yo confirmed
Damn, lot's of you people out today!
>>681974328
OP: Browse /b/
>>681974328
You: posts on /b/
>>681975015
is legit autistic
>>681982212
Oh i have some LSD sitting around, some kava, kanna, MDA, i dont like using LSD much because it makes my grip on reality really slippery for like a month
>>681982773
I'm 99% sure you think I'm a 13 year old because you're used to the way they speak to you when you groom them, pedo.
>damn, lot's of people out today!
Maybe you should also come out of the closet, fag.
ok none of you are actually acoustic wtf
>>681975185
Mein neger
>>681974536
boogers eater here too, also
>scratch my penis' head and eat the smegma
>massaging my balls while i browse the net
>eat my feet nails
>>681982501
Did you even pass 4th grade? You know what a map is, right?
It makes me so sad when people don't have an ounce of knowledge about other countries in the world.
>>681982537
>>681982974
>damagecontrol.jpg
>>681982875
LSD makes you lose it for a month? Is that due to your condition? Fuck man I feel sorry for you
>>681983121
You are fucking gross dude. Also dont you wash your cock? I never get smegma
>>681982611
Yeah fair enough I can agree with that although I don't know what the argument's about in the first place. I'm just a passerby.
sneak into my sisters room, go though her hamper, find dirty panties, sniff, then fap into panties.
>>681983415
>>681982974
>>681982974
When English isn't your first language or fluent, the example.
>>681979696
I do the exact same thing, I used it to keep track of math problems in my head and I'd do big calculations in highschool. It impressed everyone, but like you it's still imprinted in my brain and I can't stop.
>>681983237
oh ono i feel amazing for a month tbh. its just that i get affected by other peoples emotions, things start to feel like extensions of my body randomly, i cant even drive anymnore out of fear ill snap and do something stupid.
LSD itself is easily the single most powerful, overwhelming, all-unifying drug i have ever ingested and that list is long not worth going over tbh
>>681983744
>When English isn't your first language or fluent
You do realise that made no sense?
I presume English isn't your first language, or you were just educated by your redneck father, also known as your husband.
Squeeze closed over ear pearcing holes and sniff the cheesy White goo
>>681983907
How are you around mollies, or ecstacy?
>>681973948
loving this pic too much
>>681981267
>I'm not even a weeaboo.
K
>>681984041
The fact you go to "coming out of the closet" as when someone says,"lot's of you people out today," just shows how fucking gay and in the closet you are.
Homo
>>681984507
The fact that you have to outright say "Homo" after your argument just shows how hollow it is.
Homo.
>>681984324
that angular spectrum definition is beyond retarded
ecstasy -> admiration -> terror -> amazement -> grief
>>681984598
Why, you must be in a huge closet. All that their denial you homo.
Faggot.
>>681983203
You totaly don't get the point. Everyone knows that Japan and Korea are not the same.
Nobody gives a fuck though, they look the same, do the same things and if you like one of them then you also like the other.
Thus, liking K-Pop qualifies you for beeing calles a weeaboo.
>>681983384
mate, no worries, dance as much to whatever you like as you like!
>>681984598
Shut the fuck up faggot.
>>681984838
You think you can tell I'm in the closet because you know what it's like. Don't worry if you don't know what it means to be straight like me.
Queer.
>>681985084
>>681984838
Samefag
>going to photoshop a screenshot to prove his point
Don't bother.
jerking it to gay furry porn
>>681984041
>>681982974
>>681982537
>>681984838
it's saturday, and you have nothing better to do then be on 4chan and an asshole?
Sometimes I talk to myself
>>681984898
Mate, I never said I like K-Pop.
Also your logic makes no sense - "if you like one of them then you also like the other"
Definitely explains why Japan and Korea have always been the best of buds, right? :^)
I make get threads on /b/
checke'm
>>681985370
>browsing 4chan
>complaining of people being assholes
Do you also go to the hospital and complain about all the sick people too? You fucking autist.
>>681985339
Whats wrong with getting knotted by an anthro dog man? :^)
>Clean the lint out of the top of my ass crack
>hold my dick for no reason other than its comfortable
>Look at my self in the mirror and self evaluate
>wipe all my boogers on the undersides of furniture
>Usually dont care much about picking my nose in public
Hey guys, OP here.
You know, when I started this thread I didn't expect it to be as cancerous as it is now.
So I have to congratulate you all on working together to do that.
We've learned a lot about each other - but mostly that people tend to act like weird spies/monkwarriors/generalautists when they're alone.
Stay autistic guys.
Love ya
>>681981027
Lmao. Very much this>>681981094
>>681985127
Straight like me
>Did you see the sports channel yesterday, when that guy caught that ball. I was all like, OMG he caught that ball.
>So the other day when I was having vaginal sex with my girlfriend...
All things you say on a regular basis.
>>681985370
This is so sweet and innocent :)
Bash your own jaw in with a socket wrench you fucking cuck
>>681985647
The last four I do, but what the fuck there's lint in your ass crack? How fucking obese are you?
>>681985421
not saying they like eache other or that you have to like the other. But honestly, look at the muslims for an example. To a western person, their believes are the same. Still they seem to not get tired of killing each other..
>>681983304
Ive uncut penis so my foreskin always covers my tip. and if i basically scartch it with my fingers i just get those little white thingies on them and they actually taste good.
>>681985574
Everything
>>681985715
Sure, I might say that, but at least I don't randomly give fashion tips to men I don't even know
>hey honey, nice ass, I bet it would go lovely with some pink shorts, especially a man as big and strong as you
>you can borrow mine if you want
You're so gay I'm afraid you'll start giving me tips on how to look good naked next. Fuck, the thought of it scares me.
>>681984255
I honestly get a bit of anxiety on MDA at times, i simply wouldnt waste my time on MDMA though its a worthless drug for me, too weak in the psychedelia department.
I mean if i wanted euphoria id be buying some roxi's or make some mega dose edibles
>>681977875
I talk to myself when I'm alone, I'm 21
>>681985715
This shit has me in fucking tears. MUH FUKKIN SIDES
>>681985815
Im uncut too, but unlike you I wash my cock so I dont get smeg
>>681986076
I havent tried MDMA but from everything i have heard it is identical to MDMA with significantly less psychedelia and more stimulation, not my thing. if that's the case
>>681986071
stfu gaybait.
>>681986211
MDA**
>>681986151
Actually I do it intentionally since I like to eat it.
>>681985753
I'm pretty skinny actually, I just dont change my underwear for 2-3 days at a time. Never saw the point.
>>681986236
>gaybait
Is that what your favourite category of child porn is? Gay jailbait? You fucking pedo faggot.
>>681985691
kek
>>681986372
>I just dont change my underwear for 2-3 days at a time
>2-3 days at a time
There's a reason people might not want to hang around with you for a long time anon.
>>681986439
>You know that gaybait is a category of child porn... what kind of shit are you into anon. You need to speak to someone qualified
>>681986723
>you need to speak to someone qualified
Anon, you didn't take a HIV test to get a qualification. You got it to see if you had a sexual disease after all of that gay sex you've had over the past month.
Tell me, did it come out positive or negative?
Sometimes i scratch my hairy butthole and sniff the finger i was scratching it with
When no ones around I go all out and literally shit myself. Then I either cry at what I've done or proceed to wash my clothes.
>>681986439
you're getting ruinrd just stop. He's baiting you
>>681973948
creating dank memes
>>681986987
>>681986723
Stop samefagging.
> look at myself in the mirror and self evaluate
> think about how to get my cousin to fall for me
> think about me being fucked up for loving her whilst already having a girlfriend and being an overall successful guy
Not all the time but, I once poured hot sauce into my sisters fleshlight when no one was home.
>>681973948
I browse /mlp/ most autist board
>>681987111
> think about how to get my cousin to fall for me
mein negger
>>681986945
I'm positive you're a bottom dwelling fag. Is your mom helping come up with these comebacks.
>>681987329
>is your mum helping come up with these comebacks
Are you forgetting how to speak English? Is your limited brain working so hard you're having a stroke? Just admit you have downs syndrome already so it can end.
>>681987847
>>681987329
You are both autistic and proving nothing
>>681986945
Either a fag or chick. No guy could be this unable to insult someone.
I'm starting to collect amiibos
>>681987847
You telling anyone to admit anything... Wow.
>>681987957
You can shut the fuck up too. No one gives a fuck
>>681977533
Start
>>681987847
I just want you to know, you're a fucking fag. Legitimately. You are so gay man, just admit it, then you can stick your electric tooth brush in your ass with no excuses.
>>681986561
I changed my underwear for the first time since Easter yesterday. It was a good feeling to be honest but now I have to break in a new pair.
when I get really angry or upset, I imagine that I have the same powers as Goku and think about doing a spirit bomb on what is bothering me
>>681984773
Not really.
Horror; Horrific
Terror; Terrific
Vsauce had a vid explaining shit like this.
Cba digging.
>>681987847
faggot
>>681975185
Thanks god, im not alone with this shit..
>>681988960
i prefer something with more girth
>>681989803
I bet you do faggot
>have conversations with myself
>pull out hair when stressed
>look at myself in mirror and wonder why no one likes me, i mean im cute
>look into the mirror again, why the fuck do you wonder why. youre ugly as heck
>when no one is around, turn up music and act like I was in their music video
>sleep with teddy bears
>suck my own nipples
>press out cum and/or stick finger in and suck it off.. ;_;
why
I'm 23 years old and I still flap my hands mutliple times a day when in private. I've done it my whole life. I seriously do believe I'm probably autistic just never got diagnosed.
>>681974328
when i close my eyes, i can visualize anything in perfect detail in a 3d space
i don't do it that much now that im older and everything i imagine is just boring as shit to me
>>681989006
Same I have the same pair on for 5+ months at a time
Pluck pubes from my ballsack with my fingers.
>>681990000
dem autistic quads
>Recreate video game animations in the shower
Sometimes when I'm at a bus stop I do idle animations from Tony Hawk Pro Skater because I'm bored. Just the looking around ones though.
I probably have autism.
> Be me
/thread
>>681973948
This was when people were around but I still think about it.
>just turned 21 a week ago
>decide to goto bar and try drinking
>sit down at bar and order a beer
>what kind of beer do you want?
>ummmm
>Bud light?
>get beer and start browsing /b/
>guy next to me is paying attention
>"are you on /b/ by chance man?"
>internal freakout
>respond and say, "I'm not supposed to talk about it"
>don't know what to do so I get up and leave.
>never drink that beer
I could have made a /b/ro that day maybe and I'll never know.
>>681979713
>>681981267
Her name is SinB. Welcome to the fandom mate. High five! Once you're in, there's no going back. Soon you'll find yourself dancing to their youtube videos every day like I do. Pic/webm related.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtSm0aDGfbY
>>681981663
Irl, i point out what people are >implying
