I'm probably going to have to fight this guy tomorrow, I
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I'm probably going to have to fight this guy tomorrow, I keyed his car (long story). He's like 6'2 and one of those undercover security guards that arrests shoplifters. I'm 5'10 and slim build. Advice?
im not fighting anyone. better for you soul to let it go
gun
Pocket Sand
>>681770181
gun
Is pic related you or chad?
>>681770363
I like the way you think
>>681770387
Chad. Chad Thundercock.
>>681770181
If he hasn't had any training than his size means nothing, but in assuming from the post you don't either.
>>681770181
Bring a gun
>everyone's a pussy once you shoot them in the kneecap
>bring knife
>pop an alkacetlzer or however you spell it
>foam out of mouth and charge at him with knife
>?????
>fuck his bitch and piss on his face
>>681770181
Just grow some balls. When your fight or flight kicks in, don't let the flight take over. You were obviously upset enough to key his shit up, better find that fire again and throw some hands.
Bring a fork, stab his eye out, then skull fuck him. GG
>>681770538
What kind of training do you think would help?
is this b8? or are you a 12 year old who actually keys cars?
>>681770658
agreed. If you key my car I'm coming with something to key your fucking face.
>knives rule dude!
>>681770687
By this time tomorrow? Your best bet is to YouTube self defense lol. Other than that make sure you rage and don't get scared as mentioned above.
well op did say he probably is going to have fight him. but avoid fighting if you can op. better for everyone involved
>>681770771
I keyed fag into a gay guys car. What now?
>>681770874
if its on ill kick his ass.
Take your pants off and start rubbing oil on yup legs. Nobody want to fight a guy with no pants and oily legs!
>>681770874
Are you literally a giant pussy?
>pic related is you
Why are you "going to have to fight him?" What the fuck kind of retarded statement is that? The only time you HAVE to fight someone is when they're actually going to take a swing at you. Even then you don't fight them, you just get in, incapacitate and get out.
>>681770920
i'D MOST LIKELY KILL YOU. whats there to live for , at least in prison you only fend for yourself and not feed the system.
Easy. Be sure to tape him beating your ass. Sue him into oblivion. You get to key his car and take all of his income for the next 15 years.
>>681771123
little bitch detected
>>681770874
I don't agree with this. Fighting is therapeutic in a since. A few guys I've scuffled have actually become my friends. As long as you aren't trying to kill each other like the dipshits mention above, it's a release on both sides. Beat the other's ass and it's a really alpha, and extreme high, self esteem skyrockets. Get your ass beat and you can take it two ways, be a salty ass kid about it, or be a man, accept it happened and better yourself. It also de-escalates that primary anger that you both may have. This one kid dodged me for so long (fucked my girl after being warned it was a bad idea), i saw him getting smokes one day and just ambushed his ass. Too many pussies with this view that don't understand that combat is a human instinct, and win or lose you ultimately become a better person for it. Granted the combat is warranted with proper means.
>>681771047
im not saying dont punch the cunt im saying avoid fighting if possible. If ops lucky then the other guy will pussy out of a confrontation
>>681770181
grab his face, ears and start biting like a rabid monkey
the human jaw has a bite force of 270 lbs. Pound for pound we're 50% more efficient than the rest of the apes. It is one of the last remnants of our bestial ancestry. Human bite wound pathogens consist of both aerobic and anaerobic bacteria, including streptococci, Staphylococcus aureus, Eikenella, Fusobacterium, Peptostreptococcus....untreated the wound ---will-- get infected.
if you cant fight, in a absolute self defense scenario, start chomping
>>681770181
Kick him in the shins than punch em and shit don't be afraid to hit his balls. Let's be honest, you're fucked if you don't fight dirty.
>>681770181
Kick him in the nuts repeatedly while yelling krav maga.
Fight as dirty as you can. Throat and groin strikes are most effective. Use your environment to your advantage. Bring a hidden weapon if you can, but no guns. If you do bring a gun though, use it to intimidate him, dont actually shoot the bastard. The best move to use is a stomp to the knee. If you can land a solid one he'll be on the ground and you're in control of the fight. Anything goes in a street fight.
Go for the balls OP.
>>681771453
This. People highly underestimate how much it fuckin hurts to have a guy literally rip a chunk out of you
if trips lick his dick
>>681770181
OP you've got this, you keyed a car, now just key him. Seriously there's tons of things you can do if you're desperate enough. Don't hold yourself above kicking him in the dick or punching him in the throat, when you punch make sure you're trying to drive your fist through the back of his skull. You'll be good OP, and don't forget you can use those keys as self defense as well. YOU'RE DEFENDING YOUR LIFE. Literally let yourself go, unleash every little bit of pent up aggression you have, think of the things that send you into a blackout fit of anger and don't stop. There will probably be people who will stop you if you get too out of hand so who cares, he's trying to fucking hurt you...he doesn't want to be your friend, he doesn't care about your family. He thinks he's better than you...prove to him he's not. Fighting is the one time you can be animalistic.
>>681771123
This
>>681771457
You really think I'm fucked? Pic related it's me
dildos... lots and lots of dildos
>>681771777
Holy shit
WITNESSED
If you're actually going to fight this guy just go for the balls. It's a fight. Or if not... Don't swing wide like a nigger. Go for straight punches to the jaw and solar plexus. Hurdur retard watchu say, look it up. Dont lean back, move side to side, not straight back. Doesn't matter how big they are, one good shot to the chin will wake them up. If he tries to tackle you like a bitch catch him and step back with a leg, then elbow him on the bank or knee him, like bring your knee up as if you're trying to touch your chin. Or, avoid the fight, simple.
>>681770181
Kick him in the balls!
>>681771777
Trips of godly truth. No more advice is needed
>>681771830
Yeah fam. Kick the shins, punch the throat and if you have to go for the jewels.
Alternitavely the guy might not know how to fight and just do your best. Just because he is bigger than you doesn't mean he knows how to fight.
Also you look like a cool dude, would hang out/10.
>>681771830
yeah.. you're going to need a bat, don't forget to jab when in close kids.
>>681772076
I know he can fight, ive seen him arrest shoplifters before
Lol, alright man. Basically what you do is face him without any fear. Don't let fear or rage take you over during the fight. Be calm. If you get your ass kicked, oh well. Just accept it.
>>681772222
These quads are telling me that you're dead, kiddo
>>681772222
Well then just do your best.
Also checked
>>681772404
Quads... Don't like
>>681772222
So ?
Shoplifters don't defend themselves like they would in a steet fight
He looks like a flat out pussy
>>681770181
apologize and admit what you did was a dick move and then pay for the repair. Long story or not that was a straight up bitch move. Like shit women do. You should just get your ass kicked on principle so you don't act like a bitter ex girlfriend again. Maybe he can beat some balls into your empty sack.
>>681771830
Use your shorten height to your advantage bob and weaving will be effective as fuck for you just make sure he doesn't slam you because he will try go right for jabbing him in the fucking eye too
>>681770181
Don't under any circumstances get into a fight you can't win.
Shame on him anyway - do you think a boxing match between the two of you would be allowed? You're in entirely different weight classes.
Just fucking do whatever it takes. Win or lose who cares, sometimes you get your ass kicked. Best advice for a street fight is take the initiative, don't fucking dance around or talk shit or push or any other stupid pussy shit people do. Hit him as hard and fast as you can and keep hitting him. I don't think I can fight for shit but when I used to fight I would usually win because I hit the other person immediately. You see people pushing and yelling and all this other stupid shit. If you just hit them in the fucking face 90% of guys don't know what to do.
Keep your elbows pointed down and close to body. Keep your chin tucked in. NEVER lock your knees, Keep them bent at all times. Try to breathe and keep a cool head. Keep a roll of nickels in each fist (fights aint fair). Good luck.
just watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mosX7L25HV8
>>681773093
did you google this you fat virgin?
you're not gonna talk yourself out of this Boomhauer
>>681770920
how brave picking a homo to fuck with.
Can we please get on topic?
OP keyed this dudes car. OP deserves the round trip ticket to pound town he has coming.
Even worse OP won't give us the reason he was a giant rat and keyed somebody else's property.
I hope he punches OP hard enough to take away his ability to read and then gives it back.
>>681773093
Probably the most genuine fighting advice. The nickel rolls for sure. It's a street fight. You're "honour" isn't going to matter for shit to you when he cracks you one. Just breathe and keep cool.
>>681773229
no, I watch Billy Blanks Tae Bo
>>681770181
Only a fool fights a battle he knows he cannot win
Ever heard of stun guns?
>>681773482
OP poked the proverbial dragon and is about to get toasted.
>>681773551
He probably has a bitch grip and would drop it before making contact.
Tabasco your hands up and chili slap that fat bitch Op
>>681773632
I haven't heard the phrase chili slap in years.
>>681771830
completely fucked. 1-dont show up to shit 2-if you do show up dont ever let him get up in your face to talk shit cause he is just goin for the sucker punch 3-do not attempt throat punch like some fag said. even people who dont know shit about boxing usually keep chin tucked so its bullshit 4-your best bet in this shitstorm is if you have better wind then him just go all out and try to overwhelm the fag with punches and dont let up, you may get lucky 5-this is to me the most important...even if you see the dude about to punch you directly in your eyeball do not look away or put your head down because when that happens you will get knocked the fuck out. protip: next time you have an issue with a dude dont be a bitch and key his car, its lose lose.
>>681772644
in his defense look at the fucker. i dont even think he realizes how gay he is.
>>681770387
You're fighting 4 eyes and you're afraid... Hahahaahahaaaaaaa
>>681773671
It's fool proof. Unless the chubby guy in op's pic shows up with goggles on.
>>681773435
yeah except these concepts are foreign to the dude and he will concentrate too hard on doing em leading to him getting ko'd .the knees bent and elbows in is sound advice for a sanctioned match but is shit advice for a street fight.
If you're a man and you key another mans car you deserve an ass beating for being a bitch. That dude doesn't even look threatening at all which proves again you're a bitch. Just kill yourself.
This guy is going to grind you into the ground and then fuck your Tennessee whiskey smooth ass.
How did he get into the force if he needs glasses?
>>681774006
Which is why I focused on the roll of nickels and breathing. You can guarantee the fight will end up in some grappling mess or some shit, but if he can land the first few punches properly and with the added advantages, that may be all he needs to win the fight. When in doubt, just bring a fucking weapon. That will stop the fight before it even happens. A knife will suffice.
>>681771777
>>681771488
>>681771844
>>681772222
>>681772644
>>681773622
>>681771830
You're about to get your fucking ass beat by a guy that looks like he gets cucked daily and you probably deserve it for being a bitch. Don't listen to everyone telling you to fight dirty/use weapons etc. This guy is going to beat your fucking face in, the last thing you want is to give him a reason to kill you, or to press charges for assault with a weapon.
Just fight him straight up mano a mano. This guy looks a lot bigger and stronger than you so don't try to wrestle with him, just try to knock him out as best you can. Get as many punches in as you can before he beats your face into the ground and try to take this as a lesson to not be a little fucking faggot in the future.
>>681773685
Why would you get knocked out of you shifted your head to help take an immediately incoming hit? I'd imagine dipping your head slightly would help, foreheads are much stronger than eye sockets
>>681774164
Asset Protection arent cops.
Pocket sand proceeded by vigorous crotch shots.
You'll look like a faggot but it'll get the job done.
>>681774371
I thought they were called loss prevention.
Bring a knife and kill the bastard.
>>681774410
That too.
>>681774275
Can somebody please tell me what "cucked daily" means?
>>681774472
He bangs your mom
>>681774467
Actually im wrong they are called loss prevention asset protection is different.
>>681774511
I don't get it? He looks like he fucks my mom daily?
That guy said "he looks like he gets cucked daily"
>>681774693
Bow to your sensei
>>681770181
My advice OP. When he comes at you kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. Then if hes on his knees knee him in the face. Or kick him in the face. Fuck that guy even if you did key his car. Dont let him fuck you up.
>>681774341
you'll get knocked out if you get scared, lock up, and start looking away. my post said dont take your eyes off of him the head position wasnt the point it was dont get scared and cover up because now you are just a target who doesnt see whats coming at him. i stressed that because it is the hardest thing to do in a fight.
>>681774472
He looks like the kind of guy like the one dude plucking a bitch's pussy with tweezers so she can get fucked by better looking guys. I'm saying OP is about to get his ass beat by that guy because he's an even bigger bitch.
>>681774229
i agree but i think op should just hide and try to rethink how he acts in the future. its safe to say he is going to lose this one lol.
>>681770181
good luck with the ass beating
Is this fucking highschool? Does he have proof it was you who keyed his care? ie. proof that would hold up in a court of law?
If not, let him swing at you. Then sue him for everything he's got.
>>681774814
First rate instructions on how to be an honor less little bitch.
Op, win or loose, just do your best and stand your ground, sort it out like men, and if he gets the best of you, chalk it up to experience and keep your dignity and manhood intact.
Coat yourself in cooking spray, maybe olive oil?
Before the fight get completely naked and lube up.
Resist the urge to masturbate, sexual tension makes you better fighter.
While fighting smear your oily nuts all over other party.
Once nuts touch face you are a winner regardless of actual outcome.
If you keyed his car, just take the ass kicking like a man. You fucking deserve it, keying cars is what bitches do...
Pic somewhat related, ya pussy.
You shouldn't have drawn aggro by keying his car, you're way too under leveled for this OP.
>>681770363
Glasses?
>>681775062
It's a street fight, there is no honor code.
>>681770181
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Dont forget these.
>>681770181
All these niggles speak heresy
Go for the eyes. Seriously take a fucking hammer to his face.
>>681775175
YOU THINK ANYBODY WANTS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE WHILE IM WEARING THESE BADBOYS? FORGET ABOUT IT
>>681775062
wtf is honor. shit thinking like that is for pro matches. this is a street fight not mr miyagis fuck shop. people pull guns and knives nowadays on unarmed people in fights fuck all that honor shit id rather stay alive.
>>681775156
He'll still get rekt unless he's seriously good at it.
>>681775152
No it isn't. They have a history and have both agreed upon a time and place to sort it out like MEN.
Hey, if two niggers jump you in an alley, by all means kick them in the off button and do anything you can to protect yourself, that that's not what this is.
Have a little self respect and dignity, and fight it out like men.
Altho like >>681775101 suggested, he probably has a hiding coming anyway.
Basically what happened was I was taking DVD's from our store, not the good ones, just like the ones in the bargian bin home to watch, and one night when we were closing he was doing bag checks, and i refused to show him the inside of my bag. he seemed totally okay with it, but then I got in shit from my manager and almost lost my job so I know the fucker ratted me out. So I keyed his car, he saw it on the security cameras I guess
>>681775062
Wtf? Did mom buy you a new corner store katana what kind of shit advice is that?
Nut shot then gouge his fucking eyes out
While you at it make sure the little prick can't have any kids and bust his balls.
>>681770181
Punch him square in the jaw OP. If he can't take a punch, he's done.
He can't fight you It's illegal.
In what world are you guys living
>>681770920
Concord nh?
>>681775410
Actually he can, it's called 'Mutual Combat' and so long as it's done in the right environment, like private property, and it doesn't violate any other civil codes, you're all clear.
This may not protect you from a civil suit if the other guy turns full bitch mode after you ko he's ass.
>>681770181
Rat poison in protein powder
>>681775326
>They have a history and have both agreed upon a time and place to sort it out like MEN
where did he say that? even if that was said you should be urging him not to show up. all your honor, MEN, code of fighting bullshit is gonna get you hurt someday. the world is full of sleazeballs honor doesn't exist. ease up on the van damme movies there short round.
>>681775062
>Honor
This isn't a single combat to the death like the Romans or Vikings would do, this is a fucking fist fight, who cares. Unless you're fighting in a competition, always treat every fight as if the person you're fighting is trying to fatally harm you, and you'll have a high chance of winning, which means winning by any means.
>>681770181
This..
>>681775387
lol you stole, lied, and now are mad because the dude did his job. i take back all my advice you need your ass kicked.
>>681770181
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
When he starts just start stripping
>>681775326
>favorite movie is Gladiator confirmed
6'2" vs 5'10" ?!?!?!
Headbutt his groin, midget.
>>681773093
How is money going to help?
>>681770181
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you ?
>>681775554
only a few states allow that.
Go down after his first punch goes in. Pretend to be KOed and save yourself a proper beating from a prolonged fight. Then when you wake up grow up and stop being a little faggot that fucks with other people's property then comes here to cry that you're going to get your ass kicked.
If you do have to fight though, aim at his jaw and chin. I assume you have no punching strength, but you can try a hammer fist.
Or just pull your cock out and start doing the windmill. He'll either react with disgust and fuck off out of there, take pity on you for being a retard and decide not to beat you up because of it, or fuck you up even worse.
>>681775387
So you're a thief too? What does it matter that the DVDs weren't the good ones? They're not yours. You were busy being a thief, he did his job in reporting it (and gave you the chance to put them back by the sounds of it, rather than strong arming you into showing your bag) and then you damaged his shit. Take this one up the ass and let it be a lesson to you
This is the guy ur fighting? I have literally coughed up harder looking things! And a quazzi ginger? Wow u sure are a pussy! Go ape and smash that little bitch!
>>681770181
You guy's both don't have any training, so it really doesn't matter. Nothing on here is going to help you win the fight. Any advice or tips you receive will be immediately forgotten once you start fighting. It takes at least six months to a year of training for anything to "stick". Training that involves sparring.
With that being said, head down, hands up.
>>681775387
So basically, you were stealing from your employer, got busted by the guy they pay to bust faggots like you, and you keyed his car for doing his job?
Yep, I hope he pounds your fucking face in.
>>681775694
a roll of nickles keeps your fingers and knuckles firm.
find you a tree branch, around a foot to a foot and a half long, around 8 to 12 inches in diameter, wrap it with duct tape, smack him in his dumb fuckin jewy face with it. I did that to my gf's ex / baby daddy when he kept texting her sexual shit.
>invited him over to smoke a joint
>had a friend inside the back door
>lit joint, and smoked it with gfs/ex
>shared a few laughs acting buddy buddy
>tapped on the back door 3 times
>back porch light goes off
>grab tree branch
>CRACKADOOM.webm
>fractured eye socket and broken jaw
>was 2 years ago
>never another text sent
>regularly pays his child support now
>?????
>PROFIT
>>681775387
THIS IS WHAT THIS ABOUT?! Holy shit OP, yeah you deserve the ass kicking.
>>681775764
In Canada, im pretty sure the security guards that can handcuff people get use of force training by the government, thats what im worried about.
When the LPO's at our store arrest people they call a code over the radios that asks the staff to come out and act as witnesses. One time when I was working it happened and i watched him like take a guy down like a cop would, so im scared that even if I can punch him hes going to get me on the ground. How do i fight on the ground?
>>681770181
>advice
Paint some fences and wax some cars, trust me, it'll help
>>681775665
I see what you did there.
kill him
>>681771223
Smart little bitch...
>>681775929
thats some pussy shit, how long have you been a scared little girl?
>>681770181
A gun
>>681775152
>>681775279
>>681775393
>>681775608
First off, if he's running around keying cars, he is a little bitch that probably deserves his ass kicked.
Secondly ya'll nig's to fucking scared to take some lumps and throw a punch.
The guy is a daytime rent a cop, not some 300lb street thug, grow a pair and quit thinking like 12yo girls.
Fucking what's the world become where it's acceptable for a grown ass dude to kick another guy in the junk, and it being acceptable? - This should guy you a first class ticked to the hospital for being sucking a cowardly pussy bitch.
>>681771223
Paying for a lawsuit hurts more than words fam
777777's are coming
>>681775929
CRACKADOOM
>>681770181
bring a knife
>>681770181
Are you kidding me OP this guy looks like a fucking pussy. Push kick his stomach then take him down and keep beating him.
>>681775826
a roll of nickels is a fucking stupid idea.
if you don't believe me i suggest you grab some and smash a punchbag as hard as you can. guarantee your fingers will come out worst
>>681776200
2016: CRACKADOOM
>>681776108
your asshole is pussy shit, to many many many grown men. STFU FAGGOT
>>681776147
When the objective is to win in a fight you go for the balls. You aren't in a fight because of honor. If you are in a fair fight you need to rethink your strategy.
OP deserves the bitch beating he has coming. I hope you cry like a house wife OP.
>>681776147
take your ideology somewhere like chicago and see how far your honorable living takes you. plenty of people die "honorable" and are quicky forgotten. shut the fuck up and go back to bowing to your greaseball sensai.
Check em
>>681770181
Bring a gun
>>681776147
>whats the world become where its acceptable for a grown ass dude to kick another in the junk
People have been kicking other people in the junk for fucking thousands of years, this isnt a new trend. Even in a fight it was acceptable, if you actually believe in full scale battles back in the day, that two men who met in the middle of that battle actually made sure one another were following a set code of rules for fighting then you're fucking retarded.
>>681775062
win or lose fuckhead. Also OP, keep your chin tucked and your left hand up by your cheek/chin. if hes right handed your be able to block (probably not well, no exp in fights) or absorb the punches.
>>681771830
Op if you're still in this thread listen up
When I was younger I was very short comparred to the rest of my grade/school. I was a prime target for people to give shit to. I had enougth of it got into a fight with a kid that was about 40cm taller then me.
What I did was just duck for the first punch so that way if anyone is recording you didn't start the fight he did. Then go straight for the dick or the throat if you can hit someone hard enougth there then they are basicly DONE if not and your getting your ass handed to you start fucking CHOMPING anything you can ears arms legs you land a bit you hold on and never let go it will fucking kill like a bitch and if you're a total pussy bring sand in your pocket to temp blind him or a car key/pocket knife.
>>681776171
fyi some fights end in death, not even jg wentworth will be getting you the money then.
>>681775986
If he didn't wrestle in highschool/college or hasn't trained in BJJ it doesn't really matter. You guys will be rolling around on the ground like a couple of noobs, and since he is bigger, he will probably be able to dominate you. Technique will beat size/strength most of the time, unfortunately you haven't developed any techique. Worst case scenario you get knocked out. Not a big deal. sorry if this made no sense I'm super drunk.
>>681776463
Don't give him advice he is a prepubescent rat.
>>681776468
Some
like probably 1 in a million fist fights actually end in death.
>>681776322
lol dude you hatched a plan involving other people just to beat a guy up and you had to use a stick.....yeah im sure your gf/wife really appreciates your bravery. thats pussy shit.
Or use traditional jew jitsu
>let him beat you up
>have some witnesses
>sue him through all instances
> you get money (most likely have to pay his car but w/e)
>he will go to jail
>you are rich
> his life is ruined
>>681773093
Shin chan, I loved it as a kid
>>681770181
The highest level of aggression wins the day
Unless both people know what they're doing and have a lot of experience, fights are usually resolved by whoever gets the biggest adrenaline rush and goes the most berserk. Smaller guys take out bigger guys all the time (although they are indeed at a significant disadvantage)
The key is rage. You have to be a fucking monster. You have to get your face red, your eyes bloodshot. You have to pound away with so much aggression it's popping out your veins.
That doesn't mean be stupid. But strike hard and strike fast. Remember whoever gets the first hit (particularly the first hit to the head) usually wins a street fight
>>681776613
mother fucker the art of war is to immobilize and subdue your opponent as quickly as possible, not dance around and lose a tooth or get knocked out yourself. deal with it. fuckin jew nigger loving fag
>>681776613
it wasn't about fighting or being tough. it was about making a GODDAMN POINT. and obviously I did that. take your dumb shit on
>>681770181
film it
>>681776400
>>681776440
>>681776446
In my country you would be branded a coward for life, you would be looked upon as a dog, and have you 'man card' revoked, you would be stripped of all dignity and self respect. You would loose all backup from friends in any future fights, and they would not intervene if you got bashed for it afterwards.
If kicking another man in the dick, after accepting him calling you out for a straight 1v1 is acceptable to you, you are a bitch, and nothing you can say here will change that fact.
This however, and obviously only applies to having been called out, and choosing to fight it out. If you're getting jumped by some cunt in a back alley, for all means, do what you have to.
At this point I'm just hoping this shit gets put on WorldStar or something, so we can see if /b/ can successfully teach a man to fight overnight.
>>681770658
best and most accurate fighting related comment i've ever seen on /b/, tonight wasn't a complete waste of my life
Get a gum shield, not only does it help to save your jaw from being broken/dislocated. It's harder to know you out. When he throws a punch at you, try to angle you head down so he hits the top corners, this will hurt his hands more than your head. Don't be afraid to get dirty. Also if you want to kill him for the lols, hit him with the palm of your hand in the nose pushing up and in. Have fun, I recommend shaking hands afterwards or settling with them afterwards, you can make good friends through fighting
>>681770181
Bobby hill him ass
>>681777148
OP never said they agreed to 1v1 fight, he said he MIGHT have to fight him, so if OP doesnt accept a single combat fight and the dude throws a surprise swing at him then there are no fucking honor code rules.
>>681771698
got into a street fight outside of some party, after pun ching this kid like 3 times i go to pick him up and just throw him away, he locks his mouth onto my head and took a chunk out, shit hurts bad... but unfortunately for him i was wearing my "not fuck round" shoes and had a .40 in the car lmao
>>681777247
dude is that MUGEN? i need that Bobby character
>>681777148
What third world troglodyte country do you live in where being honorable it a virtue? Get back in your time machine and go back to feudal Japan round eye sissy britches.
>>681770181
>I'm probably going to have to fight this guy tomorrow
Protip: Don't be white trash. If someone wants to fight you, call the police.
>>681776938
yeah you made your point, you were too pussy to square up and instead needed alot of help. i see it and im sure your gf sees it as well. thats some grimey nigger shit but call it what you want.
>>681777186
>palm of your hand in the nose pushing up and in.
I get my fighting tips from movies and the internet.
This is a long time standing myth, brought into light by that Nick cage movie.
The cartilage in the nose doesn't work like that, not to mention the slab of bone between it and the brain.
>>681771830
kick his balls
do not use a weapon
it's self defense, taller stronger than you, no care for his balls
if you know any bjj use it. dont fist fight the guy- hes a fucking silverback.
>>681777148
im sure in your country you fucked goats in the bologna flower too but that doesnt make it a great country there borat. fuck off.
>>681777496
So your advice is to roll around on the ground with a silverback?
>>681770181
Keep a key in your knuckles so he doesn't see it and key his face to go with the car kek.
>>681770181
>>681777395
>yes, police? I keyed some dude's care and now he wants to kick my ass...what's that? I could be arrested for vandalism?
No dude, don't call the pope, if you actually fight this guy kick him in the balls hard and then stomp on his face repeatedly. It's literally the only chance you could possibly stand.
>>681770181
It's easy. You dropped the ball and bitched out by keying his car. To stop you having your ass punched out your dick just weird the guy out. Fill your pockets with breadcrumbs and throw them at him. Invest in buying a lot of small value gift cards and throw them at him. Bark like a dog when you're mid-sentence, then make whimpering noises whenever he talks. Bounce from your left foot to your right foot, arms straight down at your sides, opening and closing your palms in time with bouncing on your feet.
Tank-san
new queen of /b/
check em
Im going to waste this get
offer him a blowjob, and bite his dick off if he accepts. if he involves the police. claim rape and sexual abuse because he posed as a cop! thatll teach him
chek em
>>681777444
Nice double trips broe, Ye, the other stuff still stands though
>>681777721
kek nice try anon >>681777777
YO OP, most of these responses are dumb as fuck. Get a roll of nickles or two, pack your fist and make sure you swing first. DO NOT LET HIM SWING FIRST. <<< this is very important. Typically the person who HITS first wins, so pack that shit and chin check him. Make sure you practice packing it in your hand so there is no room for movement or you may shatter your bones. I have been in quite a few fights in many situations and the times I won even against multiple people, I had a bic, a bike lock (use the loop like brass knuckles) or some shit like that. Do not carry an actual weapon though, you need to be carrying something to avoid any potential charges the police may bring you.
>>681777277
>MIGHT have to fight him
Sure, but he's not a stranger, he's not some random whack job, or some thug wanting what's in his pockets, He's just another normal guy.
>>681777373
Found the skinny kid, go eat some real food and harden the fuck up
>>681777537
No i'm not Merican', To many goat fucking Muslims.
>>681777996
>not merican cuz too many muslims
I sure hope you dont live in europe, africa or asia
>>681777148
In America, we have a gladiatorial culture. Many fights are to the death, even today, and legal provisions exist for gladiatorial resolution. Less than 35% of slayings are considered murder.
We're just different from you.
In fact, many American men, after impregnating several women, remove their own testicles to become less weak. The more you know!
>>681777671
Don't call the pope
http://cp91279.biography.com/BRAND_BIO_Bio-Shorts_Pope-Francis-Mini-Biography_0_172238_SF_HD_768x432-16x9.jpg
>>681771830
your only possibility is finger jab to the eyes
>>681777996
Brush I would beat you to death your your own arms then skin your face off and wear it as a mask where I would befriend your family and gain their trust only to kill them while they sleep.
>>681777980
Ok yeah OP fill your hands with crap yeah that'll totally not screw your hand up, fucking retard
>>681778159
This. Thumbs in the eyes. Every thumb you have in every eye he has.
>>681770181
>>681778166
>own arms
>wear it as a mask
>kill them while they sleep
Woot three pop culture movie references in one sentence, give this man a free netflix sub.
>>681775258
Heck!
>>681778271
What if he has 11 eyes
>>681778212
Fist full of stuff is a classic way to increase the impact force of your hand. Fact, ask your dad or grandpa.
Just fucking don't you 12 year old retard.
>>681778212
You do realize a roll of nickels has been used for decades as a makeshift weapon?
>>681778311
id like to give a horse kick to the head of the dick
>>681778212
DON'T USE YOUR FISTS
Unless you happen to have a roll of quarters handy to wrap your fist around, closed-fist punching is a recipe for compound-fracture disaster. Instead, use the heel of your hand or your elbow.
First result I find when searching for fist pack. Clearly you have never even tried to punch something solid. fucking puss.
>>681778343
Get more thumbs.
>>681770181
being afraid before you fight, kek, he has already won,but you keyed his car so a beating is probably you getting off light
Kidney shots.
Your best chance will be to close the gap as he will outreach you, if you are small and stocky you will out-wrestle a tall person if you know how to use leverage in your favor.
Just get in close to him, or on the ground and wail away at his kidneys, the pain is too much to bear in a non life or death scenario, he will back down.
He will also be pissing blood for a few days so there's that.
>>681778376
It's also a classic way to break your hand you inbred mongoloid lmao kys. Shit next thing you're gonna tell me is that chewing through your hand is a classic way to get out of handcuffs
>>681778527
Actually it was used to help protect your hand from breaking while adding force.
Just keep slapping him across the chest OP.
punch him square on the nose before he gets angry, the pain will tell him its not worth it and win you the fight, let him get angry first and he probably wont feel it till later
>>681778141
While i see your point
>They didn’t always fight to the death.
>Hollywood movies and television shows often depict gladiatorial bouts as a bloody free-for-all, but most fights operated under fairly strict rules and regulations. Contests were typically single combat between two men of similar size and experience. Referees oversaw the action, and probably stopped the fight as soon as one of the participants was seriously wounded. A match could even end in a stalemate if the crowd became bored by a long and drawn out battle, and in rare cases, both warriors were allowed to leave the arena with honor if they had put on an exciting show for the crowd.
>Since gladiators were expensive to house, feed and train, their promoters were loath to see them needlessly killed. Trainers may have taught their fighters to wound, not kill, and the combatants may have taken it upon themselves to avoid seriously hurting their brothers-in-arms. Nevertheless, the life of a gladiator was usually brutal and short. Most only lived to their mid-20s, and historians have estimated that somewhere between one in five or one in 10 bouts left one of its participants dead.
This american trend of punching old people and running away, and 'fuck em, their not me' really seems to be only the last generation or two.
Just don't go to work, you dumb twat. You're getting fired, anyway. You think he's not going to tell the manager what you did? Just get a new fucking job. Holy shit, you're dull on so many levels.
Do you think managers are cops? There's no burden of proof. It's so fucking obvious what happened and who did it. They could just fire you for what they chewed you out for, but the fact is training costs money and it's risk vs profit.
You're fucked, just fuck off.
>>681778677
>punch him square in the nose before he gets angry
>let him get angry first
Beforefirst
some amphetamine and as much coke as you can get
go rage mode kid!
>>681778527
>>681773482
True !
>>681778694
>This american trend of punching old people and running away
thats a nigger game, not to be confused with morally sound, productive americans.
Make loud moaning autistic noises that get louder and louder until you're basically just screaming at him.
Then drop your pants to reveal your legs have single frankfurters sellotaped up and down them. Keep up with autist screams.
>>681778605
this is fucking bollocks. the impact should be through your knuckles, not fingers.
grabbing something in your hnd forces your fingers outwards, so that they're more likely to make contact, thus get damaged.
stop spouting this shit and actually try punching something with your method.
>>681770181
Let him punch you film it and sue him dumbfuck
>>681770181
The trick is too let him go down as fast as you can. Use his height as a weakness. Hit him in the cock/kneecaps/foot, as soon as his head goes down, hit the ears like you want to clap, then hit his throat, if he isn't down now target head or stomach(liver).
Or you just don't go into an fist fight. DON'T bring a knife. You won't use it or injure him very strong/yourself by using it. Better bring a baton/taser. Additionaly don't be reactive. You have to hit first and don't stop hitting until he lays on the floor. Good luck.
>>681770181
Hit the deck as soon as he swings at you and start punching/biting his ankles.
>>681770181
Kneecap, real hard
>>681779050
You are either baiting or unbelievably ignorant.
>>681779164
hammmmmmboning
Inject yourself full of synthol tonight and hope he gets intimidated
I'll fight him for you OP
>>681779234
i've had punchbags and speedballs set up for the last five years.
whilst adding more mass to your fist will obviously do more damage, trying to punch with stuff in your hand fucks it. i'm speaking from experience here.
wtf is your bait pic
>>681775666
And you start Trippin Mr Satan!
>>681772222
keying someone's car is a bitch / beta move unless they fucked with ur car first. you'll prob get stomped and you probably deserve it.. what did he do that made you decide to key his car?
Challenge him to a rap battle instead.
>>681779590
Anon asking the important questions here. Why did you key his car OP?
>>681770920
Suck him off, it's where you're heading anyway.
>>681779450
I've had katanas set up for the last decade, that doesn't make me a samurai.
>>681779450
Speedbag. Not speedball. Just wow.
>>681770181
Get inside his striking range, get your head under his chin, keep it hard against his chest, work his body. Use hooks to strike his head.
Take the beating and never do it again.
>>681779637
OP said that he stole some DVD's from his workplace and that guy caught him and told his boss...I'm not even shitting you right now.
>>681771453
he looks just like my great uncle steve! I should go check on him...
>>681770181
Surrender immediately and offer full compensation and public excuses.
>>681778707
>>681779838
Thank you. That's such a bitch thing to do.
>>681770181
say its a prank bro
>>681779689
the point is, i've punched shit with stuff in my hands. it doesn't help
>>681780007
>>681780130
Bags don't feel pain. You have no idea what the relative increase in damage to them is to the damage to you, you only know you're a pussy who doesn't have proper form.
>>681779450
Having sth in the hand actually stabilizes the hand. Sailors in past always had coin rolls for fights in their pants. Another example is a kubotan or Brace Knuckles. Stop speaking bullshit
>>681779450
bro i have a shitload of college course books at my disposal here but guess what? im still a fucking idiot.
>>681780245
Ooooooooh
>>681770181
>2016
>still fighting as a means to establish you manhood
nigga just leave that shit alone... fighting is bad for yourself in the long run, but you already keyed this motherfuckers car, so maybe you deserve to get that ass beat. Thank you for your patience kind sir.
>>681780312
kubotans are for breaking fingers and jabbing with the points. not really anything to do with a punch.
>>681780316
FAGGOT
A
G
G
O
T
>>681780469
lol im honored, that fucking pic cut me up.
you key his car and than you are scared to fight him lol cancer faggot hope he recks you
>>681780245
>harming my opponent is worth damage to me
>>681780312
you grip brass knuckles in your hand and they project forward of your knuckles.
this other shit adds more mass to your hand, puts your fingers out to be damaged, and weakens the tightness of your fist.
i don't doubt that you can inflict more damage with something in your hand. is it worth your fingers to you?
>>681780467
http://m.mentalfloss.com/article.php?id=18921
It's more like the other way
Make a small compact taser out of a couple kilovolt caps.
Run some wire through your coat, and put a 9v battery connector as the taser contacts.
Get a few buttons and run them up your other arm for each cap.
Wear rubber gloves, rubber sleeves, and if you can get your hand on him before he touches you, you can give him enough of a shock to disorient him or make him pass out.
Once hes down, throw a few hooks at his face and break a couple ribs.
Congrats, you're now a badass.
If you keyed his car you deserve a hiding. Take it like a man and move on.
>>681781292
>Congrats, you're now a badass
you spelt autist wrong.
Grab him by the neck and push against the wall and say "back off!?"
>>681770181
Let him hit you, get it recorded, charge him with assault and there goes his job.
put em in a bawdy bag jonny!!!!!!
>>681770363
This. If he's wearing glasses, make breaking his glasses your top priority, so the shards cut into that steroid monster's eyes.
OP Ur going to see him at work the day after u fight. Stop being an idiot and offer an apology and pay for damages, fucker was doing his job and ur not gangster enough to make him shut up about it, and u probably never will be.
>>681770181
Steal his glasses.Problem solved
>>681776701
This
>>681770181
Kick his left shin at the bone and then push it backwards with your foot so it retracts into itself.
>>681782144
>pic
Alpha as fuck.
bring a gun and claim selfdefence
>>681770326
>>681770563
>bringing a gun to a fist fight
>bringing a gun when you carjacked him and he just wants revenge
'murica
OP, you probably deserve getting beaten up, faggot.
>>681770609
This
kick him in the nuts, kick in this kneecap hyper extending his knee, gut punch just under the ribs or punch him in the throat don't try to knock him out you probably won't be able to able to your best bet is to use those methods to try and get him too the ground then stomp the shit out of him. also you're a stupid cunt for keying someone's car.
>>681770181
just get a gun and if he tries to fight you shoot him, then its self defence, also in the future stop committing crimes and be an adult, this can all just be avoided by not being a dramatic faggot.
>>681770181
also is there any physical evidence you keyed his car, if not, just get a gun and shot the faggot if he tries to fight you.
>>681771245
This might have been insightful if you weren't such a neckbearded faggot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2VjP1Lrs-c
Watch this vid
>>681770181
also better ways to fuck with people's cars is to syphon out the fuel tank, then refill it with concrete, its much funnier.
call chuck norris..
>>681786518
*much more fun
>>681771488
GATTACA!
sock snooker balls gl hf yo
>>681779338
tuff lad, i could sort you out
>>681786719
no it is funnier.
>>681770181
You keyed his car... hope he slowly kills you
>>681771830
this person looks like a closet homo
>>681773797
OP knows hes always a faggot
>>681770363
i prefer pocket stones thank you
take ur pants off and go for grappling
chads hate that
or act like a tard
