Post your religion, get roasted
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Post your religion, get roasted
taoism (daoism)
fuckin fight me
Presbyterian
Satanism
>>679125204
/k/ubism
>>679125462
Who chooses whose reborn into what caste?
>>679125204
pedobearsect aka abrahams religions up from jews ,chrstian up to date moslem
give it a try
>>679125797
Wannabe individualist Christfag
>>679126007
Edgelord
>>679126158
*tips fedora
>>679125462
Taofag here too. Zhaungzhi more than Laozi.
>>679126457
Why are you not in prison?
Odinist, do your worst
Catholic
>>679126415
is the same system like windows update it says it will be better after update what u get is a bluescreen ...
>>679126637
Most people wouldn't know the difference mostly because either way the societies your kind have created have exceeded no more than mud huts over thousands of years of learning
>>679126799
What you just said would have been better had it remained a thought.
>>679126832
Uh... Taoism is Chinese.
Zionist fag here. Fuck all you animal christians and kebabs
>>679126699
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your religion, Odin is a respectable God, he can be rough but way more chill than that jackass YHWH
>>679125204
Autism
Hinduism....
I live in Peru and I'm not even indian. Japanese/Mexican.
>>679125204
Hellenist pagan
I don't take it very seriously though. Like most people with their religions.
pastafarian and proud
>>679126911
My point being while China's Buddhism and Catholicism sects sparked up you taoists are now in the ranks of minorities like Muslims Jews and Hindus, your religion has never evolved past worshipping dirt
>>679125462
>>679126637
Hows it feel being a mockery to chinese people who worship people like zheng daoling and thinking you're a daoist because you read the dao of pooh and the te of piglet in highschool and like to feel different?
>>679126699
See, here's what I don't get.
One god? Fine.
Good god and evil god? Fine.
No god but reincarnation? Fine.
But this thing? It's like worshipping the Greek gods, literally no way to prove existence. Jesus was real, Buddha was real, but how do you explain some mortal tie to something like that?
>>679126699
red neck racist hiding behind religion. Actual norse pagans practice astru. Not your little nazi cult
>>679127234
oh, okay, I'll take that burn..
>>679127141
You must either
1. Smoke shit tons of pot and like to draw
2. Gamer who likes to draw and has imagination
3. Just another liberal nobody who thrives on being hip to date
>>679127187
edgelord
>>679127079
Aren't you special?
>>679127279
Ooh, ouch, guess I'll turn in my priesthood haha
>>679127079
I'm guessing your God is sheeva and you like to fuck sheepa
Raised a Christian, I don't really know what kind though. Presbytarian (?)
Not too serious about it, not guilty about lying and such, but if I fuck up a nice person's day or just turn into an edgelord I feel like there's gonna be some sort of consequence after death, or at least in life
>>679125204
That picture is missing more religions than it includes
>>679125204
Swiftianity
Aren't there more major religions than this? I live under a rock so I'm not positive.
>>679127321
Have you ever taken a mythology class? Greeks Scandis Druids, they all had stories of divine intervention with hundreds of prophets, not saying it's true but what makes Jesus the exception?
>>679127504
hilarious and original
Silhouettes
>>679127542
>>679127525
My dad was already here (alot of asians around these parts, really look it up) and my mom moved here from Mexico in the 90's instead of America. As for the Hinduism, I guess I hold some of their beliefs, but I wouldn't shit in a street or worship a cow. My dad had a Hindu neighbor and my mom didn't really care either way so I guess they went Hindu-convert
Emperor Protect! Why are you not praying for your Immortal Soul Heretic?
>>679127479
First one, but I was kinda raised on hesiod and homer. Hellenist paganism is more philosophical then literal. Like the greeks had been to the top of olympus and knew gods didn't live there. They were just symbolic of kinda divine attributes. War, Procreation, etc.
Either way, even if there is no god, I would still be pagan because it is a better way to think, feel, and understand the world. Concepts of loyalty, honor, respect, passion, indulgence are kinda embedded in it.
>>679127593
Sorry, I wasn't looking out for your edgelord pagan pantheons specific gods and symbols. can't you autists draw your own pictures?
seriously a discordian
>>679126638
In our word are some arabic stats where u can have wife with ... even a catholic church law say that 14+ is a a merriagble age if it dont have a restriction by the law of country u gona merriage.
There are view others funny thing in thous comunities check tham up
>>679125204
im a firm believer of all-silhouettes.com
debate me
>>679127746
there's a few more
>>679125204
Non-religious, non-identifying.
Not atheist (the belief there is no god), nor agnostic (a skeptic who does believe in but does not rule out god, and is searching for an evidence-based answer).
Honestly I don't know if there's a god, and I really don't care. God hasn't given me believable reason to think that he exists, so if I don't worship him, that's his bad not mine. Whatever happens after I die, happens. I suppose my beliefs are close to agnosticism, but the main difference is that I am not searching for an answer. I really don't give a shit.
something with qts plz
Plebs.
>>679127871
Was actually a documented human. Yeshua, carpenter, son of Jospeh and Mary, had like three younger siblings, descendant of king David of the Davidic Judah Tribe. Died 33 ACE.
>>679128075
You're avoiding life decisions becaue you are afraid of being judged by anonymous people on the internet and real life.
No one know if you are good or bad at baseball if you never hit the ball right?
>>679127321
Valid points. The proveing existence thing is kinda moot though. Yeah Jesus was a real dude, but was he Devine? That's about belief, and that's what all religions boil down to. And for the mortal tie, I don't need my gods to once be human. I mean, technically my gods are motal, the can and will die.
>>679127379
There's a legitimate difference in the religions (or denominations). And if some small dicked skinhead wants to say he worships my gods, fuck him. I don't appreciate them giving a bad name to me, my fellow Odinists, or my gods.
You all need the spicy flavour of the Chaos gods...
I'm down with Kharnath.
>>679128014
Hey don't downplay all the rape, murder and cruel and unusual deaths, it's not all about good tithes, the pantheons of yesterday are the religions of today, the same stories but with different prophets and names, they worked well for societies because each could worship their own way without breaking the overall code of worship, except today they all follow one God but despise each other for worshipping him differently, so it doesn't work as well
>>679125204
born and raised an atheist. Became a pantheist with Christian and Buddhist inclinations, but I think there's an element of truth if all (most) religions.
>>679127871
Oh, didn't really read up on that, but I read a bible at my cousins house since I was bored, I can see where some of this stuff comes from, with the prophecies and such. But the only time I read about greek god/human interaction was about Horny Zeus or stuff like troy. You climb Olympus, and surprise no gods their. You get eye witness accounts (one of the old Roman libraries has a report on what happened during the crucifixion) from non believers. I guess I just haven't found an account of a non beleiver having an interaction with zeus is all
>>679128279
No. I was baptized Catholic as a child and went to Sunday school. Later, in high school, a friend convinced me to join a baptist church with him. Years after that, I regularly attended a Methodist church with my girlfriend. Yet after all this, the only thing I can really affirm is that I do not believe in Christianity. Did a God create the universe? Maybe. But is all that Christian shit true? No. It's all bullshit, made up by someone. All religions are. There's no way we'll ever really know until we get there, and I'm okay with that. I am content with not knowing. I see no reason to establish religion as part of your identity.
Self decided, I guess you could call me an agnostic monotheistic omnist. Or really just an agnostic, but I hate that label given who most agnostics are nowadays. They're all just people either too scared or too stupid to pursue knowledge, or are just closet atheists. I went on my own journey and I know what I believe. There is a god; the terms for salvation and morality are correct in most religions, but what happens in that afterlife and the face of that god have not been captured by any religion as of yet.
I'm Wiccan and a dude so what
>>679128566
you're agnostic. Stop making your religious beliefs sound like your hipster gender on a spectrum.
>>679127000
Keked and checked
>>679128315
Then call yourself Astru like everyone else hipster faggot
Agnostic partial to Daoism
Real talk though, suppose Aliens come to earth, but they're like us, human shaped, and just recently figured out a way to travel to earth, so they've never actually been here before, until now. They come to earth and tell you that Allah is the true god, and have something close to an exact copy of the Quran, and their language is similar to Arabic. What do? Believe them? Coincidence? Or just another Hebrew trick?
>>679128503
Zeus is the equivalent to God, Hercules who actually had stories written about him and accounts kept about his life is like Jesus, some say the story of Jesus even came from the stories of Hercules, being they both virgin births from God impregnating a mortal woman
>>679125204
the one with the swastika
>>679128566
Edgelord of the year
>>679128685
You're a pussy and you knock yourself over constantly trying to be nice to people
>>679128822
People who are Asatru worship all the gods equally. Odinists worship them all too but we hold Odin above the others, as he should be because he's the chief of the Gods and the head of the pantheon.
>>679128461
What rape, murder, cruel and unusual deaths?
Pagans did do that but the religion doesn't condone it.
>>679128904
HEIL HITLER
>>679128503
couze today there are not so many real books about traditons and sect specifics about greeks etc there
the "BIBLE" itself is a translation of a translation where the censors give there best the oldest bibel that i know about is from 600 after christ...
>>679128239
None of those records are valued academically. Yeshua was a common name, and many records relating to this figure are doctored and/or have been exposed as referring to multiple different people with the same name, etc.
There are no reliable contemporary records of Jesus' existence. In academic circles, the prevailing view is that Jesus was a conglomerate of multiple traveling, miracle performing teachers since none of Jesus' message was original or unique. All the most popular legends ended up being attributed to one man, even though they didn't start out that way.
>>679126783
Cath-o-lic my balls
Jk I'm Catholic to, go Mary
>>679128722
Normally when asked I just say "not religious." I figured since people were being specific here, I would too. Still, I prefer not to call myself agnostic.
>>679128685
your religion want invented by a cult leader in the 1950's who just copied everything from magick without tears by crowley and even was an active member of the OTO
Technically wouldn't joshua and jesus have the same name?
Yeah, religion is pretty stupid. And I don't just mean "organized religion", that "I'm spiritual, not religious" bullshit just shows how poorly you understand what you're talking about.
>>679129071
Lol yea
>>679129113
The fact that the Gods raped humans when they felt like it or came down as animals or people fucking animals and making half animal human hybrid beings or the gods creating crazy monsters, the Greek pantheon was wayyy worse than
>>679125204
Agnostic.
Think about it. Does a God have to be nice? Say you were god. You were disgusted at same gays, and you liked seeing people do nice things. Is it better to believe God doesn't exist than feel guilty for taking it up the ass? Most would say yes. If you were a god, why not mess with the haters and send them to a lava hole, and let your real friends chill with you up in the clouds?
Better look: there's 2 people in your school. You're secretly rich but dress like a poorfag.person 1 is your friend no matter what person 2 wants proof that youre rich, and then he'll be your friend. But if he's only your friend of you're rich, is really your friend at all?
Sorry I wish I had a better way of putting this into words
>>679129369
Christianity, didn't finish my post
>>679129460
If you told your friends that they must believe you were rich based on your word alone, without giving any evidence, and if you didn't believe you would torture them forever, then I would rather be friends with the guy who didn't believe it because he isn't a gullible moron.
Shinto fag here. I'm not sure that i believe a lot of it but i observe a lot of the traditions/purity stuff
>>679126007
Same
>>679125204
i'm muslim
Satanist as well.
>>679129619
But friend 1 belived you...
And you were right
>>679129276
The universe is made of energy and light made out of energy that came out of a blast of nothingness and you say that humans cant call they energy what they'd like? even at bear minimum have you thought of having hope in chance? a chance that the energy all around you collects into a rhythm that you can step along to on your way to victory, who are you to say that someone isn't controlling that energy
>>679128840
if they were legitimately aliens, believe them. theres no way two unconnected societies could have developed the exact same religion without outside inteference (gods will). maybe its an evolutionary advantage to have such beliefs so we cant completely rule out convergent evolution.
probably wont be though, just some raghead pranking the UN
I'm a fundamental church of englandist. I go into busy public places and give out tea and biscuits.
Also my captcha was cups of tea a sign I'm doing gods work.
>>679129717
You know, you guys would be cute if it weren't for 9-11
>>679129001
Not trying to be edgy, friend. Though I see how you could take it that way if you are religious. I don't believe in your religion, but if you follow it properly I respect you. One thing I'm noticing more and more about America is that everyone is calling themselves non-denominational Christians nowadays. Honestly, those are the only people I don't respect. Coming from a Catholic background and hanging around many Baptists as well, I respect the bible thumpers way more. They actually follow the rules of their religion, even if those rules may be uncomfortable, unfair, or require sacrifice, because that is what their God wants. For non-denominationals the rules just kinda become, like, whatever you feel like man. "I think gays are okay, so therefore God must think they are too!" is the most recent example I'm seeing nowadays.
Basically I respect you as long as you respect your religion.
>>679129736
stop listening to deepak chopra
Christian, sorta.
What I dislike though, is all the fedora faggots with the fb posts and the sheeple shit. Gays? Athiests? I don't mind, really. But when fedora man knocks on my door to try to spread athiesm and says "let's see how you like it", even though the only people I know who do that are Mormons or JW's, it kinda pisses me off.
>>679128840
Obviously Jews, into the oven
>>679129734
You'd have to be a petty, manipulative sociopath to decide your friends that way.
Actually that sounds like a pretty accurate description of God.
>>679129734
so you'd rather befriend someone who blindly believes in strangers.
what happens when someone ELSE comes along saying they're RICHER than you?
>>679130021
Are those betas really getting man enough to go door to door now?
>>679129736
theres energy, yes.
that energy can be harnessed by thinking really hard, no.
I was raised by a voodoo priest if that counts
>>679129369
Hesiod and Homer are considered the standards. A lot of extra stuff like that is non cannon.
Like Medusa being raped by Poseidon isn't Homer or Hesiod. That was the roman poet Ovid.
Even the rape of Persephone wasn't a rape. Hades took Persephone away, and tried to seduce her and she ate a pomegranate seed so she had to stay in hell once a season but they got married and shit.
>>679129944
funny how a few idiots can condemn a spiritual belief forever.
>>679130237
Who is to say what the possibilities of evolution have done to planets farther out to the edge of the universe that are thousands of years older, at any point do you not think that there's a gene that holds some sort of kinetic ability that we can't possibly fathom?
>>679129944
Bush did 9/11 stop blaming Islam
>>679129732
Watch the documentary of Anton LaVey that he personally stars in. He was a huge joke. His high priestess was some idiot who he met at an occult book shop looking for love spells and he used to dress up in a cheesy 1050's red devil Halloween outfit during ceremonies.
>>679130366
>Medusa being raped
>not Homer
Homer was the rape fantasy father, what are you talking about?
>>679130154
Fair point. yet friend 1 WON'T leave me since he's a true friend. If it was friend 2 then he would leave me for richer guy, implying he was richer than me. But this is from a god point of view. Then this wouldn't be monotheistic. There would be 2 real gods, since I would be one and richer guy would be one. So? Now there's 2 gods to worship, maybe 3, then 4, then you have a pantheon. I'm talking about one god, bro.
>>679128048
edgy band logo. this is literally an I wrestled a bear album cover. tell me more faggot...
>>679128075
Are you me?
nihilism hue hue
>>679130165
My cousins (more religious than me) told me about it at a birthday party. They said he kinda stumbled on his words, but he claimed he had good reason as to why he was harassing them based on their beleifs
>>679130375
its a possibility, yes. but practically what use is this to us right now? we havent got this ability, we never will. if this gene does exist it would be incompatible with our biology, so it'd boil down to "believe you can control the universe by thinking until you meet a lifeform that can and have your guts explode because you're inferior"
Flying Spaghetti Monster
>>679128113
same.
All hail the dreamer of Ryleh.
>>679130375
its a possibility, yes. but practically what use is this to us right now? we havent got this ability, we never will. if this gene does exist it would be incompatible with our biology, so it'd boil down to "believe you can control the universe by thinking until you meet a lifeform that can and have your guts explode because you're defencelessness "
>>679129162
I mean, I guess you're right.
If you don't count Tacitus as an academically valued source.
>>679130746
It will come in the form of a SmartBrain App
>>679125204
faithful Roman Catholic here
>>679129717
let me be the first to sample your b8 m8
>>679130597
dafuq you on about
>>679130746
Religion does stuff for people like fantasy novels, drugs or gay buttsex does for people, why don't you get a hobby other than tipping your fedora at people with your edgy anti God propaganda
>>679126007
Hail.
>>679130579
Homer had Humans raping humans. Not gods raping humans.
Ovid wrote that Medusa was raped by Poseidon.
Besides, the gods not really first tier gods. It goes:
Protogenoi > Titans > Olympians
>>679125204
I sacrificed my parents to the dark lord Kramdar, in the shed at the middle bottom.
>>679130118
Be real man, we go on 4chan and argue over religion and post lolli shit. Think about what >>679129460 is saying. If you were God, what would you do first with the empty space around you? Make a giant fedora? Watch as people you create turn against you? Make jew/nigger combinations and do wierd stuff to them? Think about it. This god does what he wants. If you were god do what you want.
>>679125204
Islam
>>679131085
>DOB
>1977
Yeah, right.
>>679131004
does it take like salty cock? i used a chicken based marinade
>>679131167
M'Lord... Of the Edge
>>679131184
And of the hundred more pages written about Zeus raping mortal women?
>>679130506
bush hire out some muslims
Very basic Christian here
>>679131127
not anti god, anti spirit science BS. nothing happens if you think really hard, but if you think really hard and lets say slay a few infidels, then yes things really do happen
>>679125204
Arian Christian.
Council of Nicaea can suck my dick.
Agnostic because I love the feeling of splinters in my asshole.
>>679131577
didnt know agnostics originated from the mediterranean
>>679130755
gayest fucking shit since People's Temple. "I believe in a flying spaghetti monster, I wear colanders on my head in divers licence photos because it's my right, you bigot!" People like you should just fucking kill themselves. Rid us of your fucking stupid, retard, presence.
>>679131420
Have you even tried feng shui? The smallest things have a big impact in your life, coordinating colors has helped my life a bunch, I used to wear all black and was depressed all the time, then I started experimenting with my emotions and each one coordinated with what spiritualism said it would, and to confirm from bullshit I didn't check the feelings until after it had already happened, that's why I believe in spirit science
>>679131085
blatant misuse of Freedom of Religion. The Mentally Ill should never be given credence.
Reformed protestant christian.
Don't believe in the bible though so yeah, dunno what I'm doing there.
>>679128075
Atheist literally means "lack of belief in a god or gods". We were all born atheists.
>>679131641
This should be the same for all religionfags "durr hurr stupid hat is muh right" seriously kill yourselves
>>679125204
Agnostizism faggots. Try me.
>>679130506
>>679131734
It's no worse than Jews and Muslims and their stupid ass hats
>>679131641
they see the same in other, more acceptable religions.
why can a muslim DEMAND there be no pork in his burger?
why can religious organisations be exempt from tax?
its bullshit applied against other bullshit. but its still bullshit so yeah, they are cancer.
>>679125204
No religion.
Not atheist.
>>679131420
>nothing happens if you think really hard
Except it does. Like not even religiously, it does anyway. The placebo effect is a very real thing. The human mind can cause real, physical change in a person, simply by believing that change should happen. It makes no sense, but it happens anyway.
>>679125204
The religion with a human torture device as the symbol.
That's the one that'll save us.
>>679130374
>spiritual belief
>fuck goats
>treat women worse than goat mistress
>>679127321
The jesus myth was plagiarised from the horus myth.
The horus myth pre-dates the jesus myth by centuries.
jesus, like the christian god, is a fiction.
>>679131291
Non Canon.
Like, in greek mythology you have Hesiod. Hesiod is considered the most religious and official poet who was passing down actual information about the gods.
Then you have Homer. He really only wrote of Hero's. Significant but less directly religious.
Then you have a TON of random poets who basically wrote fan fiction. None of it was taken as serious spiritual wisdom just twists on usually modern politics via the gods. This is where you start seeing the gods act more "humanish" and raping people and goofy shit. Its just for fun. Like no christian thinks jesus christ vampire hunter is a religious movie even though Jesus is the main character
>>679131914
mah nigga.
I always tell people I believe in god, but not in religion.
>>679131867
Jews hats don't noticeably cover their face and head. If I was a cop, pulled someone like this and they didn't have the colander I would give them the heaviest ticket possible
>>679131940
I can vouch for this I made my nose grow by thinking really hard about it
>>679131991
Das right.
>>679131967
>Fedora
>Plastic Katana
Pick one, and only one
>>679129268
Yes.
>>679132040
>blaming mind bullshit for the big nose
Schlomo pls.
Ha look at all the butthurt (literally) Gaythiests in this thread
>>679125204
wiccanese
>>679131968
Whose to say what's "Canon" and who was writing under an alias? It's all bullshit
You should kill yourself
>>679131897
Muslim burgers-only a retard makes a Hamburger made of pork. It's a cow. Herr der
Religious organizations should be tax free only until they become a corporation. ie Mormons Scientologists, Catholic church etc should pay taxes. Corner Church of any denomination that is just them can be tax free. People have the right to believe in something bigger than themselves, but we've gone WAY off base in the last 30 years.
>>679132075
More reading required.
Pastafarianism
Dudeism
>>679131338
Actually yes. Al-qaida has been created by the US and were working for them (still are). And america also secretly give money to ISIS.
>>679132361
Already been mentioned and ignored, kill yourself
>>679127141
sup pagan pals :)
>>679128685
not many of us here eh?
>>679132361
You are what's wrong with freedom of religion
>>679126007
How is middle school?
Also really late to the party. Neo-Germanic Pagan fuck me up
>>679131940
yeah, energy changes cause those thoughts so they do have an immediate change for the individual, but to say "i think i have a big dick so i should be sweet" and to actually expect one to grow the next day is stretching it. similarly, thinking "those infidels will burn in agony because im pissed off" wont actually cause them to burn. they might burn, but it wont be because some asshole thought something in his shower one evening
>>679132398
America does NOT give money to Isis...
They give money to Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia and they give money to Isis
>>679132206
Your anger should be directed at those who lied to you and planted fantasies in your young brain (your priest).
>>679131960
yea, got a problem?
>>679130531
If it were strictly a cult of personality, that might be relevant.
>>679125204
Reformed Fundamentalist Atheism
Why did we get an open Muslim Senator before an open Atheist Senator?
>>679132040
dirty jew, teach me your ways
-your humble studet
I just signed up for the first Methodist Atheist church on Wednesday
>>679125204
wrong swastikas there, faggot.
Dionysian
>>679125204
athiesm
>>679132665
Because Satan missed it by 1
>>679132759
*tips katana*
>>679132518
sources? are they american? are they written by the american government?
fact of the matter is not you nor anybody outside of intelligence knows.
>>679132266
>>679132266
No one really debates whats Canon. Hesiod and Homer were the first poets. Hesiod wrote about strictly religious and cultural things and homer rote about heros.
The later poets came WAY later (sometimes hundreds of years) no one wrote about them as serious religious texts, nor did the later poets claim to have real insights on culture, religion or the gods.
Thats what makes Homer and Hesiod Canon and the rest not.
>>679132460
kek
>>679131223
nice catch
>>679132392
>>679132759
You just fucked it up by calling atheism a religion.
>>679125204
agnostic
>>679133186
I'm in an atheist congregation
>>679133223
No one cares
>>679132843
oh /b/ i don't know if i'm getting manic or everything is hilarious today
>>679133237
I can feel the fedora.
When will you accept the only way for salvation is to die in battle by the hands of your enemies.
>>679133280
wtf!?
message error
>>679133237
In an atheist and that's dumb as shit. I don't know how much I could talk about how much I lack belief in God.
>>679125204
i am an atheist
nihilism
>>679125204
i am a firm believer of Poseidon the god of the sea..many people think i joke when i say this..but i actually feel like i have a connection to the sea..that can only be described as a religious experience.
>>679129717
lol a rapist pedo LOL LOL
>>679132577
yes, I fucked ur mom
