>in toilet >can feel shit in my ass >doesnt want to
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>in toilet
>can feel shit in my ass
>doesnt want to move
>i push and nothing happens
>help /b/
How do I do that task?
>>678342779
fiber
Poke poo with finger
>>678342779
Post pics of bathroom to kill time
>>678342779
Squats and shots nigger!
Why do you take your pants completely off?
>>678342779
where's india when you need them
>>678342779
I had this once when I was a kid
Ended up in hospital
I'm a nurse and when patients take pain meds, we see this quite frequently. It's called impacting. You literally poke a finger in the ass to dig it out.
>>678342779
Use spoon to help
>>678343116
Allows you to easily change position so you don't get blood clots in your legs and die.
do it manually
>>678343116
I think he did it only today
Whenever i am in pain in the toilet, I take everything off because it helps
Maybe it's hot in his toilet
>>678342779
offer it a bribe OP
Use a drill, and drill a hole in poo, it will collapse in on itself and will come out with ease.
>>678342779
>taking pants off to shit
some niggers gonna reach under the stall and steal your shit stainned undies someday
>>678342779
glycerine suppositories. squeeze water bottle up ass.
>>678342779
Wiggle
>>678343417
Oh, and just wait. I went into hospital without any reason and took a shit in the hospital in front of the doctors. It wasn't in the toilet, it was on this bed where you sit on when he checks you
I had this problem because I ate glue. Just wait.
sneeze your nose in a tissue.
The Pressure you make is the right force to push your obama in the white house out.
> 2016
> Not using spoon to help you poop.
* Good handle for comfortable grip in hand
* Perfect shape for easy access into cavities
* Forms a cup to dig and pull out soft matter
A spoon is literally made for this job.
>>678342779
use WD-40. It will fly out like from a cannon.
Be like a constipated mathematician-work it out with a pencil.
Install a hose next to toilet and shoot directly up butthole. Should slide out no problem
Use KFC to lure it out
>no one mentioned enema
>>678343439
clearly not a nurse.
>Call GF
>Ask for rimjob
>Saliva loosens impacted stool
>Chocolate dessert
>>678342779
Tacobell combined with drinking bleach is the only cure.
>>678343116
>Why do you take your pants completely off?
Dude it's the best. Makes me feel so free.
I will reply you seriously... eat oranges, will help, trust me
>>678347437
shut the fuck up or I'll need to stab you xD
>>678344784
this time I'll see you first
>>678342779
mastusrbate and cum in your hand . then eat the cum. the sperms in your cum will travel through your bodu and rech your shit then they will start pussing the shit and it will come out
>>678342779
Shove hand in there dig it out then eat it show it who's master and it won't defy you ever again.
You should try to shit in the street... It's much more comfortable and you could spend time chatting with neighbors...
>>678344203
get out of here spoonfag everyone knows that forks are the best for the job
>>678342779
Move your knees higher to your chest liek your squatting. Also buy a squatty potty and shit like a king pleb
Smoking gives me the urge to shit, try picking up a bad habit?
Squatting on the toilet also helps
>>678350330
This
Or, stand on seat and squat over toilet. Don't do when drunk.
straighten up and push your back against the toilet lid
feel the butthole pucker
>>678350253
can't argue with that. I say do it. check that 53 too, oh OP you have to do this now
>>678342779
one thing that makes me envious of women is that they can apparently put their fingers up their cooch and push their shit out
>>678342779
BE LIKE ACCOUNTANT
WORK IT OUT WITH A PENCIL
JEJJJJJ
>>678342779
drink a few glasses of water, and take any valium or booze, or muscle relaxants you can find (these help your anus to open,) caffeine/ritalin also help oddly, (these speed up your the intestinal system and the peristalsis action of the contents)
>>678351189
might just as well get yours up your ass and pull it out
>>678350829
this is terrible advice. when you are sitting up straight you are closing off your shit passage and leads to complications common in western society like prostate cancer and constipation. He wants to lean forward as much as possible like squatting horizontally or for maximum efficiency he should just squat like a chinese rice nigger.
OP use a LAXATIVE dont try to force it you will damage your ass.
>>678342779
Omg dude you to? Dude i was in the bathroom trying to take shit for atleast 20 minutes my asshole is so tight from not being a faggot that i was having trouble getting my poop out. Finally this huge turd came out felt better than when i jack off now my toliet is backed up.
>>678351839
got pics of that majestic turd?
>>678352226
I thought about doing that but its got the toliet stopped up now
>>678352536
have fun scooping that shit out with your bare hands
What happens when i eat 2 boxes of granola bars
>>678352536
Jesus Mary and Joseph clean your fucking toilet you filthy nigger.
>>678344784
Underrated as fuck
>>678345518
Cleary no idea how to nurse
>>678351697
yeah but then you have to actually touch your shit bruh
>>678353388
so? nobody says you should suck on it...
What do you think plungers are actually for?
>>678352913
this is why you're fat
what's the best chemical I could dump into the toilet to make the shit go liquid
money aint a problem, I just want it gone
>>678342779
I'm doing same thing, same problem.
I usually use a finger or a spoon to scrape it out, then wash with towel
>>678354450
then buy yourself a spic that deals with it
>Open task manager
>Run new task, poop.exe
>wad up toilet paper around your index and middle fingers
>liberally lubricate it with the thickest spit you can muster
>slowly work in ass and drag shit out
>???
>profit