>Have buttsex >Never poop properly again
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>Have buttsex
>Never poop properly again
>>678326089
Totally worth it.
>>678326089
I remember when I was a bitch
you already don't poop properly
>>678326089
>poop during buttsex
>>678325077
List please
comic dumping
Those days... The proof that never forget
>>678326227
>no lube
>die before climax
>>678326315
ew
>>678326089
>>678326227
srsly tho. what to do with anal fissure? is doc the only possibility?
>>678326505
>ew
>>678326405
I eat oatmeal, I do not shitbrix.
>>678326412
Did para do that to you?
>>678326609
uh...
>>678326655
that's not what i meant
>>678326435
I love cuddling, I prefer bathtubss to showers, I play multiple musical instruments and sing, I drink a lot of water and also I look like a sub from behing and like a dom from the front.
That is all I came up with for now.
>>678326723
What DID you mean?
>>678326655
no, I always sit for 2 hours under shower and clean myself excessively with a triple check before anything like that
>>678326744
would you wanna be cuddles in the bath tub?
>>678326770
Nice comic lad
>>678326904
I'm not your lad bro
>>678326723
Little known fact, Nibi expels waste from his body through the pores of his skin.
>>678326821
too late now
>>678327001
that's pretty gross
>>678326883
Yes, very much. Geting clean and dirty at the same time.
>>678326936
I am not your bro, man
>>678326852
You just gave away who topped
>>678326852
I hear its a good idea to prepare the day beforehand.
>>678327049
No, tell me.
>>678327087
yeah you have a pretty good starter list :3
okcupid is a good site, it has more flexibility for your profile. like how you posted there
>>678327082
>>678327237
because it wasnt mentioned by you to ANYONE before at all
>>678327294
it is if you dont eat anything from the day before until sex on the next day
>>678327355
>>678327326
I might give it a try someday when I become brave enough for that.
>>678327423
Yeah, that.
>>678326744
>Baths over showers
Gross.
>>678327049
Now you know why noone wants him.
>>678327294
i dunno
>>678327423
Not in the threads at least, I think
Yeah, not even snarf would want me.
>>678327096
no more comic? :(
>>678327587
yeah well the problem with my and my partner was we werent sure who was gonna top so we both needed to be prepared
>>678327677
too bad, i dont care, bite me bitch
>>678327659
Tch
>>678327636
That is how I roll.
I like to relax and showers are too fast and evigorating to have before sleep.
>>678327813
69 if not sure.
>>678327813
Just say where
>>678327480
be brave then. just make a profile. its not like you have to reply to anyone if you dont wanna
>>678328010
did that too but we wanted to do butt stuff obviously
>>678328034
left wrist
>>678328235
I don't wanna bite off the bracelet though
>>678328362
bite off my hand and slap my butt with it
because you'd break your own before you slap me hard enough to make me yelp
>>678327931
You're just sitting in your own filth.
>>678328861
I just need the element of surprise. I'll slap your butt so hard when you don't expect it.
>>678328235
Fantastic job I guess.
>>678328044
That would be the first step.
>>678329025
I am comfortable with it. And besides, I don't get all that dirty anyway.
>>678329742
I couldn't find the clip from Dilbert that I wanted to post.
>>678330649
What a shame. What was it about?
hi
>>678330931
Dilbert is taking a bath because it helps him think, Dogbert mocks him for it, Dilbert day-dreams about being interviewed in the bath because that's where he had a million dollar idea, the media interviewing him mock him for taking a bath.
>>678331057
Hey Groden.
>>678331314
heyo snarf, how're things?
tfw your username is taken
>>678331211
So basically the point is that only dumb people mock someone fro taking a bath?
>>678331057
hey
>>678331453
The point is that Dilbert can't win, even in his own fantasies.
>>678332148
yoooo
>>678332318
sup
>>678332269
Poor Dilbert.
>>678332418
nm, just ordered this shirt
>>678331360
Hurt right now, the Sudafed wore off.
>>678332555
very cute
>>678332555 (checked)
Looks good.
>>678333604
go to bed
>>678326089
I feel bad for the guys I fuck then....I'll make sure to call back then
>>678326089
I feel bad for the guys I fuck then....I'll make sure to call back...at least I still can shit normal lol
>>678334951
>>678335083
I thought I aborted the post...my internet must be lagging
>>678332632
that sucks, what hurts?
>>678332636
thank you
>>678332822
double thank you
>>678335197
You failed at aborting the post as bad as hard as your mother failed at aborting you.
>>678335323
Double you're welcome.
>>678335397
> Inevitable response
lol
>>678335397
What's sad about this is my mom did try, not really an insult, thank you for knowing something about me
>>678326089
well yeah it makes it easier
>>678336257
no worries anon i am just here to look out for you and let you know you're love
>>678336414
Thank you bro, not sure if serious or sarcastic, the knowledge that a mother could do such a thing is why I went full top fag
>>678336584
Btw these pics are straight boner fuel...thanks guys
>>678326089
>>678337201
that is not cool, and you know it.
Hallå
>>678337201
>>678326594
I haven't read anyhard blush in ages, ty for the nostalgia
up
+1 image count.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gORu-68SHpE&t=460
>>678342994
10/10 would smash
>take XL chance in the butt
>still poop properly
>>678345242
Post pics
not of poop
>>678345242
yup, 2.6inch knot on a bruiser here. Small compared to an XL chance, but yep, still poop properly.
Just a matter of not damaging anything. Take it slow, stretch, give stuff time to recover, warm up sufficiently and enjoy yourself.
I can't enjoy butt stuff
>>678345712
all butt stuff? whys that?
i'd say that i poop better
>>678345896
>i'd say that i poop better
Stronger muscles can certainly improve things.
>>678345484
>
>>678345500
also LOTS OF LUBE
I use at least 1/4 of a bottle each time
>>678345896
I poop at a 5th grade level
>Enjoying anal sex
>>678344983
hooray for sylus!
>>678345888
It doesn't feel good
only messaging my anus
anything else feels like reverse pooping or it hurts
>>678346113
well yes, never skimp on lube.
Though you don't need huge amounts, if you're relaxed enough then you won't need tons, but still a fair bit.
>>678346179
what are you sticking up there?
did you use enough lube?
>>678346179
Thats how it feels for me too. Just like reverse pooping
>>678346363
I use lots because I like having it gloop out when I pull the toy out
>>678346367
me fingers & vitamin E oil
>>678346540
maybe people really enjoy their poops
>>678346177
sylus is god tier
>>678326089
Yay! I'm not alone.
>>678346676
I like me some powfoo too
>>678346661
try using coconut oil or water based lube. you may need to message your pelvic floor muscles to relax them before insertion.
>>678346656
Understandable, that does feel nice.
Personally I enjoy walking around while knotted, it's such a great full feeling.
>>678347230
knots are a wonderful thing
>>678347360
Especially that feeling when a big knot pops in for the first time... Such a rush.
>>678347768
yessss, that 'thunk' when it pops in is the best
>>678326740
FUCKING LIFT YOUR LEGS, KEVIN!
>>678347847
Usually I zone out for a few minutes when that happens. Pleasure overload.
>>678348383
I am incapacitated for a few minutes because I lose control of my legs when I orgasm. Even if I wanted to get up I couldn't since i'd just fall down.
>>678348632
I don't think I've experienced a full anal orgasm yet, I've come close, my legs are usually rather shaky after a session, but nothing as strong as that.
>>678349097
feelsgoodman
>>678349363
Heard a lot of good things, hope I'll experience it at some point. Don't have too much time to toy, what with work and all that.
>>678349956
Good luck.
I live with family so I almost never get a chance to fool around.
>>678350260
Same, but I'm quiet enough, and they're away often enough as is.
>>678350915
I generally have to do it late at night on the weekends. Someday I'll live alone (or with a special someone)
>>678351418
You'll find someone Anon, just like I will, eventually.
And otherwise, I'll just be a crazy dildo dude (rather than a crazy cat lady).
>>678351851
The problem is I'm tied down with loans and paying them off, I dont have the drive to go out and find other people
>>678346656
Hot.
Also
>use medium chance
>can't get around that sharp bend
>>678352070
Know that feel man, though for different reasons.
Just work on getting back on your feet, and you'll eventually get back into things man, stability often does that. But just go at your own pace.
Hehe little Billy let me fuck your asshole, cup my penis in fondle zone 10. My nigger penis is covered in sparkles come here little boy sexy boy let papa michacle lick farts out of you fist me fist me now you sexy boy let me cum in your anus Hehe C'moan lets go to my pleasure park, come to the ferris whele ill letyou eat my poopoo
>>678352350
warm-up, warm-up, warm-up. That secondary sphincter isn't an easy thing to pass. I can take ~15 inches or so, but getting past that point always takes a fair bit of time. :)
Don't force it, or you might hurt yourself.
>>678326504
dix!
>>678352595
Oh, it's not the secondary sphincter at all! It's the large bend past that in my large colon. It hits it and is like 'NOPE'. I'm so close to taking the medium chance.. So close..
>>678352878
Not sure if I reached that then, I assume I have, but not really noticed issues.
>ruining your anus with giant fake penises
>being nefel
>>678353172
Nothing is ruined if you take care of yourself Anon, that is quite a myth.
wait fuck
>being married
>goodmorning sunshines
>>678353172
Not my fault, I only have fake ones...
>>678353435
lol
>>678353065
Oh, I reach it with the medium chance just like.. an inch before the balls. There's a really sharp curve in your large intestine. It's the only out of my three toys that reach it. Kind of wish my large gryphon went that far, at least.. perhaps prodded at it.. oh dear.
>not starshine
treat yourself a little
>>678353428
Except for you will no longer feel satisfied with meager human dik
> being demos
>>678353500
hes offering his as tribute
Sup?
>>>being CHET
>>678353753
Yum.
Let's eat.
>>678353648
As someone who has since regularly messed around with BD's large gryphon and medium chance, this is false and there is not a whole lot that can compare to someone actually railing you in the ass. Because holy shit it is still the best feeling in the world. Maybe I'll feel it again someday.
not much, just chillin and waiting for pathfinder session
It's pretty good.
i wish i was chet sometimes
Oh fun. What char are you playing nowadays?
Are you prepared to be stuck with your hands in a freezer for 2 hours?
>Being Demos
>2016
Suicide is always an option.
Todays session will be the illustrious Dragon Singer, a kobold diplomat-bard of questionable morals with ridiculous skill levels but no actual offensive combat capability. Pure support.
that's no way to regard tay's asshole chet
>>678354583
Is that the one who pitches basically dragon-mormonism to everyone?
I'll have you know he radiates warmth all over.
so does my heart
>>678354772
Yes. She has acquired a large stack of small dragon figurines which she has been handing out to everyone lately.
And?
>>678354987
There is a jeb bush joke here somewhere about turtles.
That's my favorite kind of character to play, combat is overrated.
but like honestly, sometimes i think about the poor souls that strain and herniate themselves on the pot, and i just don't have that problem because i understand my Ass Hole
that was the end of that statement
my heart is very warm but my blood is cold
>>678354987
Does she preach that all red Kobolds used to be white Kobolds, but the dragons cursed them for their sins and changed their skin color?
>STILL talking about shit
>>678355224
you should teach classes on becoming one with your asshole
not everyone is as professional a faggot as you dom
>>678355428
i could. i am an Ass Hole expert
I was just wondering if there was any reason you were telling me that.
That seems unlikely. Stop being emo.
>>678326971
more of this
>>678355405
anon, we got 70 more posts before this dies. learn it love it live it
it seems as though nobody could ever truly love me
i'm not worth anybody's time...
>>678355152
I know right? It is great.
I have a brawler in another session that is pure combat so it works out well
Dujek Shieldbreaker the orc and Dragon Singer the kobold
>>678355355
No. Like most kobolds, she is servant to a dragon
In her case she isn't only a servant, she is a diplomat - and a lunatic. She's basically turned worshipping dragons into a person religion and is trying to save money to build a temple inside the city the RP is centered in.
She has golden scales, which is one of the few reasons people tolerate her. Golden dragons are paragons of good. Kobolds are the same.
I'm positive I found everything in hyper light drifter but I did not get the achievement
Oh god. Stop.
>>678355837
I once played a halforc warrior who tried to charm their way through every situation despite having no charisma and always made my party get into a fight at any given situation.
Sometimes I wish I had the time to get into tabletop rpgs again, but then I remember that it involves interacting with people which is my weakness.
i wish my life could stop
god damn is this what being nibi feels like
>>678355794
Just become a frat's cumdumpster already.
>>678355837
You need to start injecting more Mormon craziness in there, little by little.
Eugh. I'm sure Tay loves you. You both like Japanese cartoons and girl music.
>actually trying to sympathize
>>678356389
She constantly harasses people by trying to convert them to dragon-worshipping.
It's tough on the poor GM since I have such ridiculous skill levels.
>>678356318
I do it online
>>678355567
sad sad souls
It hurt me to try and you mock me for it?
>>678356592
I'm aware, that's still too much interaction for me.
And I dont have a wench to get on voice to convince them I am a true grill
>>678356753
butthole injuries are no joke dom
they're no joke
>>678337702
This got my undies pretty tight.
You act so surprised
Jokes about butthole injuries on the other hand.......
I gave you the benefit of the doubt and tried to be nice. NEVER AGAIN.
>>678356880
i've only injured my butthole once, and it was a good learning experience.
Would you hatefuck me
GROSS
>>678357287
What injury and how did it happen
I beg your pardon?
You may not have any of my pardon, I don't like beggars.
>>678357367
a minor cut on the rim. slightly swollen for a day. learned my lesson.
Damn this thread is still going?
This is the thread that doesn't end
Yes, it goes on and on my friends
Some people started posting in it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue posting in it forever just because...
still talking about butt stuff
>>678358097
I'M GOING TO ASSAULT YOU
>>678358159
Will you assault my ass?
GROSS
ROSSG
OSSGR
SSGRO
SGROS
GROSS
ROSSG
OSSGR
SSGRO
SGROS
GROSS
ROSSG
OSSGR
SSGRO
SGROS
GROSS
ROSSG
OSSGR
SSGRO
SGROS
GROSS
>>678357877
yes but how did it get cut
eisen that's not nice don't talk about yourself like that
eisen shh
> a minor cut on the rim
Ow.
You beggar belief sometimes. Anyway, I have Tay so the answer is a big "no".
>>678358237
I will assault your ears with my music
needs more porn
>>678356880
>And I dont have a wench to get on voice to convince them I am a true grill
she doesn't even though
I just said "mic is broken" and type it all out.
>>678358411
This cacophony pleases Slaanesh.
