So I just came across my housemate's vibrator.. Pic very
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
So I just came across my housemate's vibrator.. Pic very related.
What do?
>>678281920
Cum on it and put back
< 9 > https://docs.google.com/uc?authuser=0&id=0B9Wo6HTdxilZQW80aDJpSGN2RWs&export=download
>>678281920
Vibrate against your sweaty anus
>>678281920
Put in in your ass. Make sure you dont clean your asshole before you insert, that way the germs will stay on it and she'll get all kinds of infections when she puts it inside her
Put some tabasco on it
use it.
>>678282182
So much this.
>>678282179
>vibrator
>inside her
Are you a virgin?
Put it back it's not yours
>>678282098
Virus
>terminate kernal32.dll
Wrap up in random paper. Hide in bottom of purse. Hope she finds mysterious present with a few people around
>>678282179
>>678282182
Ouch. I don't really want to hurt her. Also might be pretty obvious..
>>678282190
How?
>>678282360
>How?
For mashing potatoes. Vibracooking.
>>678281920
put a post-it note on it saying 'kilroy was here' and draw the kilroy face
>>678282347
Hahaha
>>678282300
This is tempting. You are truly chivalrous.
>>678282295
Are you?
>>678281920
Look for lube
Pour it out
Replace it with icy hot
Wait
>>678282515
No. Iam not. I stick my pee pee in girls pee holes all the time. Also, iam totally not 14. You edgy faggot newfag.
>>678282463
OK I'm gonna do some cooking! :D "hey housemate! I found this cool potato masher :), not sure why it was in your room though? :s"
>>678281920
>turn on
>place on taint
>jerk off
>cum buckets.
>>678282360
Don't be a pussy. Spread pepper on it. Laugh when she uses it next and screams her head off. Did it to one of my buddies condoms and his girlfriend screamed so fucking loud we thought he was trying to kill her. She ran out of the room to the bathroom which was across the house completely nude cupping her vagina. It was fucking hilarious.
>>678282660
Thats the spirit. Post pictures.
Cleen it afterwards and offer roommate this delicious meal when you are done.
>>678282295
Your girlfriend probably uses a vibrator all the time because you can't even make her cum with your dick. That's why you're such an expert on dildos and vibrators. I've never seen my gf with toys so I guess my dick is enough for her
>>678282750
how did you manage to put pepper on his condom? they're sealed?
>>678281920
They make a cordless one? She must burn through a lot of batteries.
>>678282721
>>678282515
It's a wand you fucking retard, it doesn't go inside her. That's what he mean't by asking if you're a virgin. Do you really think they'd put the buttons there if it were meant to be 9 inches up your rectum? You probably do because you're so fucking loose none of them would be pushed you silly fucking faggot.
>>678282750
How do you open a condom without your friend knowing
>>678282877
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>678282295
Yeap that's what wands are for
>>678282877
Before first use. Why not wash´n´dry for another time.
>>678281920
Shove it up your ass u sissy cunt
>>678282877
Syringe with pepper spray in it. I knew it wouldn't matter if it had a hole in it or not cause they would stop once it started burning.
>>678281920
Timestamp or fuck off.
>>678282877
He was cucked
>>678282930
Who knows how she uses it?
put cum on it so she gets pregnant, but not yours, so no child support.
>>678282721
Hmmm thanks for suggestion :)
She also has masses of condoms apparently
>>678282936
Refer here
>>678283030
>>678283004
My nigger detector is off the charts.
>>678281920
Is she hot?
>>678282930
lots of girls stuff the entire hitachi thing in themselves so this one shouldnt be any different
If you got the time…hide it somewhere away from your apartment, and leave a note where it normally is inviting her to partake in an exciting scavenger hunt. Leave clues that will have her running all around town chasing the next note until it's location is finally revealed to her. Make sure it takes her at least one full day, like from early morning to sunset-ish, to accomplish this.
>>678283204
Ohh lawd. Gotta get a syringe and use it to put hot sauce in them motherfuckers.
>>678283274
Could you provide evidence?
>>678282964
ITT: permavirgs
a vibrator like the one pictured does not go inside you holy shit. to then correct people as if theyre idiots for correcting you.. lmao
>>678283030
Genius
>>678282182
hot idea
>>678283144
people who aren't virgins like yourself.
>>678283204
Why u no fuck her yet?
>>678283243
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1GJO5n7wxM
>brainwashed britbong detected
Hide it then start walking around in boxers with your dick hanging out so she gets tempted and boom you got a fuck buddy
>>678283357
I'm not a search engine that starts with a g and ends with an e
>>678282846
She probably just hides it.
>>678283554
You are also terrible at supporting an argument.
>>678283409
Sarcasm a struggle for you big fella?
>>678281920
You do realize he's shoved that up his ass right?
>>678282883
It has a chord. Just hand was in the way. And someone asked for a timestamp.
>>678283692
Sooo it sings?
>>678283591
I don't really need to provide proof or a source for something that is common knowledge.
>>678283692
Show photo of your roommate.
>>678283692
Cool. Those are pretty power hungry.
I still think you should try it yourself, vibes on the taint are the second best way to cum.
>>678283692
Any pics of housemate?
Mine is sexy too, sadly no toys though! Just got a bra with me instead...
>>678283692
That was me, gg fam.
>>678283769
You still need evidence for an argument, even if it's citations. I know the dimensions of these wands, and it is too large to comfortably fit in the average vagina.
>>678283960
>average vagina
you seem to be dating 12 year olds
>>678282058
This
>>678283538
But i love my 80' one, and i bought it on craiglist. The feel of the new ones is not even close to that vintage bad boy.
>>678283769
Do you still think girls piss out of their asses, faggot?
>>678283692
That's yours you gay faggot
>>678283960
To add, bear in mind that the stock head will not fit, but there exist several different types of attachments to the head, many of which are designed for comfortable penetration.
https://www.healthyandactive.com/hitachi-magic-wand-2-free-accessories/?gclid=CJ6_3OTp_ssCFYNsfgod934GbQ
>>678284058
So your GF has a 3 inch wide vagin? I bet you wonder why Tyrone visits so often.
>>678283960
~60mm across with the sleeve on, I reckon there probably are some chicks that would tackle it but a snatch clamping down on it would nerf the vibration for sure as shit.
>>678281920
Draw on it with permanent marker.
ITT: male virgins discussing the female anatomy
Not one girl in the whole thread. Just a bunch of dudes arguing about how they think chicks use vibrators.
>>678284163
>logical argument
>solid evidence
Look how fucking hard that is.
>>678284277
she loves to get fucked hard by big toys so whatever enjoy your waifu pillow with a hole cut in it
>>678284500
i will ty
>>678284500
>getting cucked by silicone cocks
>>678284500
Looks like someone is trying too hard.
>>678284642
nah mostly just bottles and my fist
>>678283692
>get laid
tell her you found it and ask if she needs help or if she can show you how it works?
>>678283692
That's a microphone.
>>678283273
I think so. This stuff is kind of unexpected by me though. Pic attatched though I don't have many and it's a little old
>>678283275
Best plan so far :)
>>678283542
Also excellent
Sorry I had to go for a bit. Back now
>>678284734
in no universe out of every possible universe would that work
>>678282846
>>678284748
>mic
>only power cord
Try harder.
>>678284803
these ideas are retarded and will very quickly make you "that fucking wierd dude who i might call the cops on because he might think its appropriate to just straight up fuck me while im asleep because he misinterpreted my nervous laughter after he confronted me about my vibrator that he found while LOOKING THROUGH MY SHIT"
seriously op put it back.
>>678282295
I kept scrolling to make sure someone called his dumbass out first.
Faggot has no idea.
>>678284803
>>678284979
and the only, i repeat ONLY way i would ever say these ideas might work to get you laid is if she put them somewhere that she obviously meant for you to find them. i find that incredibly unlikely.
>>678281920
Sings some karaoke with that cool futuristic microphone
>>678284979
That's what he'll do anyway. You can tell by his answers that he's not retarded.
>>678283274
Please share
this girl and a toy like that....holy shit!
With its own power cord!!
>>678283824
What's the first best way!?
>>678283909
I posted one now. Though she doesn't have alot online, and I don't have any. And nice!
>>678284748
Ohhhhhhhk I see. My bad. Haha
Also sorry I'm slow. On my phone.
>>678282846
She probably just hides them well and whips em out when shes bored shitless of your arrogance.
You're the kind of guy that thinks cause she moans shes cumming or some shit, when in fact its all acting and shes just thinking what shes gonna have for dinner tonight.
>>678281920
put in ass
>>678285293
A hard dick pounding your prostate.
>Have a female roomate
>Not fucked her yet
How gay are you exactly? If you're under 25 how does the chemistry for fuck buddies not come along at least?
>>678281920
how much more posts will be made before anyone points out that's not a vibrator per se, but a massager?
wouldn't putting this in the ass be rather sad experience?
>>678285506
I'll put you in my ass.
>>678285499
it might actually blow your mind to hear that some men consider women to be people instead of potential fuckholes.
some of them can be wicked bros too.
but you will never find that out for yourself because they are all made uneasy by your constant harassment.
>>678285666
>the trips have spoken
>>678285506
It's a Massager in the same way that onaholes are Novelty Items. It vibrates really hard, how are you not going to put that on your pussy and cum as much as you like?
>>678285666
Ok mr virgin, I see how you think.
>>678285666
Bullshit.
>>678284358
But we have seen so many fake ass photos that people weren't supposed to share. Semi-Pro on vaginias now
>>678284803
more pictures pls
Go fuck yourself. Then tell them about it.
>>678285666
>some men consider women to be people instead of potential fuckholes
Then those men have a serious testosterone deficiency, seeing as males are wired to seek out potential mates wherever they look, IE any woman over a 4.5 is bangable.
You fucking faggot.
Would bet my right arm that the first thing that pops into 99% of straight mens minds when they see ANY woman, is would I fuck it?
>>678283769
> putting entire massager head into you're and is common knowledge.
I have to let my gf know, seems we have no common sense...
>>678286020
>all men at all times want to fuck every woman they see
Nah
You're right we judge appearances first but 'would I fuck it' isn't true for everyone
>>678282347
Do eeeeit
>>678284979
Don't worry I will. But thanks. Mostly just interesting / hot to have discovered. And amusing to consider alternatives.
>>678285107
Yeah it wasn't out for me or anything, just in against the side of her bed. I was looking for my phone charger she borrowed. But then seeing that made me want to explore some more
>>678285116
Am doing now! ;)
>>678285285
I know right. That is basically my response. I've never even heard her (just one wall between us). I thought of her as a bit shy of something before.. Hah. Gonna be looking at her somewhat differently now.
>>678285499
Ummm mostly straight. I don't know there are 6 of us in the house. She's relatively new. I think she has some kind of long distance relationship but not boyfriend. She's a bit younger so maybe that's part of it? I'm 24, she's 20.. If it should be inevitable somehow let me know!?
>>678285666
Trips of truth
>>678286269
>Shes kinda new so Im gonna go snoop around her room for used panties
Yep, you're a fucking /b/tard alright.
Cover it in bengay or chilli
>>678281920
are you biologically both male ?
>>678286361
My whole point there was actually that wasnt my plan. But fair.
>>678285885
This one is super old. Will find a newer
>>678286675
>>678285885
This is more recent. She cut her hair. Will try and find a more body one.
>>678282846
>>678282750
>>678283191
>>678283274
>>678283275
>>678283542
>>678284058
>>678284135
>>678284104
>>678284277
>>678284500
fuck, did I come to /saltyvirgin/? where is/b/
>>678286828
not great but a nice fuck in a raining day
she is a retarded liberal? she looks like one
>>678285666
>number of satan
>post about faggotry
checks out
>>678286828
Get a bottle of spirit she likes put nextflix on when you're both alone in the house and hang out on the couch, then when shes looking snuggly, cuddle up and then go from there.
Is it that hard?
>>678281920
Jack off with it. An experience I would recommend
Hide it somewhere, then wait, if she's gonna asking you about whether you've seen it. Then put it back, when she's not looking.
>>678286883
>implying that /b/ hasnt been dead for years
>implying that it hasnt always been filled with salty virgins
>>678283692
dude, that's a microphone, not a vibrator.
you need new glasses.
>>678285587
*blush* ok.
>>678285789
Well, I wouldn't know tbh. never even saw this thing IRL. always thought these fall into recreation/erotica gray area
>>678286977
>>678286977
Trump Supporter Detected
>>678283478
Because he is clearly a beta faggot. Evidenced by the fact he is going through his roommates drawers looking for things to jerk off to while she is away.
>>678287348
>>678286020
There's a difference between fucking them and thinking about it. This fallacy m8 i r8 8/8.
And before you make the same argument about guys who only thinks about fucking women and doesn't just do it must have a testosterone deficiency, may I 'counter' you right away by saying that men who cannot control their silly Darwinian instincts and desires should've learned to control them over the last five centuries and must have a brain cell deficiency.
You fucking autistic faggot.
Another really old small photo, but more of her body at least.
>>678286977
I look forward to said rainy day. And Hah we are all liberal in my house.. Or progressives/ hippies I guess? Not entirely sure what liberal means in this context..
>>678287025
Will have to actually try this. Updates to follow eventually :p
>>678287243
Apparently I actually do need glasses. Fml.
>>678287666
>>678283204
Write your name on all of them wait for profit
>>678282846
holy shit virgin lord chill out and do some research before you post again
>>678283030
Damn. You probably should have just stopped your lie at the first post.
draw a face on it.
>>678288022
>>678283204
>>678282721
Describe smell of vibrator now
>>678288239
Last photo then imma go do sensible things. Thanks for sharing in my discovery and all of the excellent suggestions.. :p
>>678288024
GENIUS.
>>678287458
I haven't actually opened any of her drawers. Though it is tempting.
>>678286828
Rub pre cum soaked dick all over the head of vibrator, then proceed to rub your dick all over the inside crotch of every single one of her unworn underwear, all over her pillows, shove her toothbrush head inside your foreskin if not mutilated, smear balls and cock all over the insides of every bra she has, cum in her sluttiest pair of underwear then cram it between her matress and the bedframe as far in as you can reach so she doesnt find it for months by the time she does she will think it ended up there from some whore fueled night shw had months prior
>proceed to jerk off everyday knowing her cuntilingus is pressed against the underwear you rubbed your precum soaked dick all over
>>678288477
thankyou
>>678288473
>>678288448
My sense of smell is bad. But it doesn't really smell of anything sadly. I guess rubber?
>>678281920
Put deep heat cream on the end bit.
>>678288537
You just know this fucker does this to like everyone he meets
>>678288597
>>678288477
What does she do for living?
Also can we have some nudes please?
>>678288537
Done this to my sister monthly, would recommend
>>678288825
he's just her roommate, and he found out today she has a wand. what makes you think he would have her nudes, kid?
>>678284854
Wow funny how that actually has worked before though
Apparently I just can't stay away..
>>678288893
A little extreme for me but I have now rooted around and found some of her underwear... Which is scary. but also hot.
>>678288825
She's a student. And would do if I had any, sorry.
>>678288800
>>678288800
>>678282347
This is funny, I like it
>>678289049
Because he lives in her same flat, dad? And this place is full of people who place cameras in their bathroom to get creep pic, dad?
>>678288725
>tattoos
Fucking degenerate
>>678289227
Thanks man, c'mon give us a name at least
>>678288800
pls!!!
>>678289343
Yeah have no creep pics sorry. The most I've seen her is snatches of underwear, and then she goes running so sometimes skimpy running clothes.
>>678289239
>>678289448
>>678289602
>>678289602
Saved, thanks
>>678289691
>>678289517
She's called Elli C. Obvs not gonna give full name given that I live with her....
replace the end part with swords, so when she uses it next time she won't notice the swords and end up putting swords in her coochie.
>>678289691
love Vita
>>678289758
>>678289805
>>678289812
>>678289858
>>678289857
>>678289911
>>678289948
>>678290009
Story..?
Leave it on so the battery.p is dead before they use it.
>>678290086
Vita Zaverukh ukraine/nazi fighter
>>678290086
vk com vita_zaveruha
>>678290086
>>678290199
>>678290261
Thanks anon
>>678290375
wow nice picture.
>>678290375
>>678290436
>>678290581
>>678290665
>>678281920
Cover its head in something spicy and let it be.
Then just wait.
>>678290707
>>678290780
>>678290780
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG_dA32oH44&nohtml5=False
>if you escaped what i escaped you'd be in the andes getting fucked up too
>>678281920
Paint the fucker with hot sauce. When it dries, gently wioe with a dry cloth.
FIRECUNT!
>>678291205
So sad
>>678291568
its sad we didnt kill him. all ya'l posting this nazi shit are unfit/retarded/homo/slovak/pollock/romani anyway
>>678286020
>4.5
>fuckable
I know you're desperate, but some of us have standards.
black mail for key.
>>678291818
br nazi here, thank god we still follow the motherland culture, HH!
>>678282058
>Cum on it and put back
This. Used to do this all the time to my hot housemate. Was super exciting
>>678291818
nigger lover
https://docs.google.com/uc?authuser=0&id=0B9Wo6HTdxilZcUF1N0FJcHZsblE&export=download
>>678289227
Post pics of her underwears
>>678292300
nope russian jew
>>678292152
88!
>>678292476
communist kike, LOL
hope you burn in hell forever
>>678281920
YOU are the housemate attention whoring
>>678292915
underage american edgelord whose grandpa probaly killed multiple nazis detected
>>678293915
>>678288477
>>678284803
>>678286675
>>678286828
Please, tell her that some guy on the internet said she should never fucking ever do such stupid thing as cutting her hair, because it just retarded. Also, she's a smoking ten.
>>678283204
poke each and everyone of them with a needle
>>678281920
stick a note with:
If do you want somethime real knock on my door
>>678283204
Hmmm...if she's so horny as to have a vibrator and that many condoms the question is: why is it you're not bangin' her?
▲
▲ ▲
>>678287336
I need source on th webm
>>678282182
roll
>>678291958
That's dirty m8
>>678281920
Glue itching powder very finely along the tip in a thin line.
>>678282182 yes do this
>>678289781
can't argue with that
Virgins, virgins everywhere.
Female masturbates, shock horror.
400 virgins argue about how it happens.
OP is creepy loser faggot
It's going to back a loooooong summer this year.
Mfw green text is broken.
>>678297404
kek
>>678289227
You know deep down your dick wants to be on them so she can wear your cock by law of transfer
>>678288187
underrated post
