Post your religion, get roasted
Greek Mythology.
Norse. Now fuck off
Hindufag
>>677732057
Agnostic isnt a religion
I'm an Ancient Alien Theorist, all religion spawns from ancient peoples' misunderstanding of extraterrestrial technology as sorcery
>>677732057
Christian. Surprise me, /b/.
>>677732262
DESIGNATED
>>677732592
What about the religion of the flying Spaghetti Monster?
Besides, if all religion is from extraterrestrial tech misunderstandings, then how do you explain druids? That's nature and shit, not aliens
No religion here
Wiccan
Come at me, bitches
none - Nihilism
>>677733919
*witches
>>677733919
How's highschool treating you
>>677733337
FSM is a hoax religion, and the spirituality of druidism comes from hallucinogens, so neither of those count
>>677733948
Same here /b/ro.
Zoroastrianism
>>677734155
So what would be a religion that would stem from Aliens?
>>677732057
None
JK commieism eat the rich
>>677732057
Taoist here.
>>677733919
Are you this guy? Or are you having sex with this guy? It's one or the other.
Zen buddhist but also jokingly a pastafarian to worship the great noodle.
Roman catholic. All y'all religions are shitty. Cease was with us! All hail the knights of the round table!!!!
Scientologist
>>677734518
Can you do a haduken?????
>>677734155
There is perfectly logical psychological reasons for religion to exist. (fear tactics by leaders, myth being misinterpreted as truth, hallucinogens, etc.)
There is absolutly no reason to invoke aliens.
Pastafaria skrubs
>>677732057
I don't worship Thoth, but he's a cool dude.
>>677732262
Can you do a yoga flame???
>>677734615
Fellow Catholic here. Can say the Eucharist by memory at this point.
>>677734155
All religions are hoaxes faggot
>>677734699
Hadouken, but I can't hit anyone with it cus its mean, and disturbes my flow.
>>677734769
Yo man when the great noodle comes and crushes u all u gonna regret praying to it
>>677732592
Or their understanding of regular physics as sorcery...
>>677734964
*Not* praying to it*
>>677733948
Yup, believing in anything spiritual is fucking retarded
Odinist. Bring it on /b/.
>>677735155
Exactly
>>677735155
Says the fucking retard who posted in a religion thread and didn't even post a religion.
Atheist, fukboi
>>677735416
>post your religion
>atheist
>>677732592
I read Däniken's Chariots of the Gods in high school. Ironically, it was a Catholic high school.
>>677735155
So, you praise the Donald, then?
Catholic get at me.
>Inb4 pedo priests
>inb4 eating jesus
>inb4 cuck pope
>inb4 muh bible
>>677735290
Makeup is expensive, you queer. If it's not for war, it's gay.
Gutteral is lame: a diesel engine makes more sense musically.
Banshee is lame: squealing brakes make more sense musically.
>>677735377
I'm a nihilist as well dumb dick
>>677733919
edgy.
>>677732057
religion is stupid.. but to think that you and I and everything are exactly composed of the same things living and dead.. is just as stupid, while the thing that lives has all the same parts, simply moving the heart and jolting it with electricity will not keep it alive, the fire within that keeps things alive will leave that body and it will become cold and dead.. to think that we are nothing, that is also foolish.
>>677735290
you worship varg vikernes and live with your parents
>>677732057
Atheist. Believe whatever you want, but there IMO religion is a way of people coping with not knowing the meaning of life.
>protip; there is no meaning of life
>>677732196
bet you fucking don't faggot
>>677735780
>tries to be smart
>has never read a biology textbook
No, actually life works perfectly fine without "inner fire"
>>677735646
only if hillary gets the nomination
>>677735646
Donald is the only true God.
>>677736046
No actually biology doesnt explain the difference you nignog fuckwit, simply because a heart beats does not stop it from decaying, when you plug dead flesh into a living being it can be revived, without that it will die, where do you plug the soul in faggot?
Muslim
>>677732057
Nordic asatru, mixed with krigism, the religion of gore, a cult thing I started a couple years ago
>>677736413
autism
>>677736269
Ever heard of cells? Life isn't macroscopic. The only reason you can't revive a brain dead animal is because the brain cells are dead and can't be brought back with the technology we currently have. We actually can restart the circulatory system, the respiratory system, etc.
Satanist.
>>677732057
Pokeism
Jewish
>>677732057
Atheistic Satanism
(not a religion)
>>677736413
>>677736696
happy passover
>>677736544
What? We like killing shit, and we get together and play mine craft, listen to our bvb and talk about, share and discuss our precious gore images and we sometimes kill a dog....how is that autistic faggot?
>>677732057
Taoist. Go for it.
>>677735541
You realize religion does not have to worship a deity or multiple of them right?
Methodist Christian. Lets cook with gas, shall we?
>>677732057
atheist with christian values.
>>677736841
taoism is not a religion, it is a way.
>>677736840
try harder faggot
>>677736844
It has to worship something or fucking do something. Atheism does not. Atheism is literally the lack of religion.
>>677736971
Actually there are two separate forms of daoism. One is a philosophy, and the other an actual religion.
>>677736971
*the way.
But yes you're right, more a philosophy which I enjoy living my life by and feels true to me like no other.
But for all intents and purposes and the spirit of this thread I'd say Taoist.
>>677736840
It's called classical signs of social depression. Acting out against the norm to feel like you belong/have a purpose.
Not trying to be a dick but one day you will look back on this and cringe so hard your face will implode.
I'm a Christian that can't get rid of his early sins.
>>677736841
Either hipster-fag or really in touch with their inner selves.
>>677736877
Not much to talk about. You're the quiet middle brother.
>>677736995
We even have a book, after our parents go to sleep we read that shit deep...
>>677737284
Oh. Cool. Guess im alright, then
>>677737239
the actual religion is obviously a misunderstanding of the god hierarchy within taoism.. those many gods were put in there to represent the ten thousand things, which basically says, if you can make up all these gods, who is to say that you cannot also make up all the things that you are experiencing.
>>677737318
underage b&
>>677737159
At this point it's a cult that worships computer monitors and anime
>>677732057
Celtic paganism
Stone and stream
>>677737239
The more than two. But yeah I'm a philosophical Taoist rather than a religious. Although there is something spiritual about the interconnectedness of all existence which I feel gives me some religious vibes.
Heretics will report themselves to the Ministry of Truth or be removed from Aurbis
>>677737318
>after our parents go to sleep
Stop indulging him lads.
As an atheist, what makes you religious folk believe that your religion is the correct one? (no judgement just genuinely curious).
>>677737523
ffs
>>677737471
I'm 15 I'm not underage, nigger
>>677735780
>>677737480
i like this idea.. also cats.. very egyptian.
>>677737507
You're the creepy kind of devil worshiper.
>>677737672
actually.. no it isn't
>Born and raised Baptist/Methodist.
>Considering switching to Catholicism, since my parents can't decide on either Baptist or Methodist.
>Also Protestant faiths just seem to autistic.
Someone want to convince me on why should be Catholic, or Eastern Orthodox?
>>677737480
Don't forget the Donald.
>>677737672
YOU THINK THOSE ARE YOUR EYES YOU SEE WITH WHEN YOU SLEEP ANON!? *puts on sunglasses and jumps across rooftops*
Apatheism. If a deity wanted or cared for my worship, it would make itself known. In any case, it has nothing to do with my life.
I am a devoted follower of the TES pantheon.
>My patron Daedra is Lord Hircine
>>677737842
None. Christianity is fucking stupid, be an atheist.
>>677737284
Nah no hipster. I actually struggled for years trying to find an answer to it all and eventually all that searching lead me to Taoism which from my first introduction made sense to me like no other system.
I think hipsters these days are more atheist and Buddhist then Taoist though, but they welcome to "join" universe is big enough for all ideas and treating it like an exclusive club would be against Taoism itself.
>>677737842
Better food, no more shitty potlucks. That should be reason enough
>>677735780
Take your pseudo scientific bullshit somewhere else
>>677737986
Sorry bruh but the way I see it. Everything around us is too complex to not be the work of a divine creator.
>>677735780
You could just say atheist. No need to be edgy about it.
>>677732057
/b/ring on the hate, I'm a Mormon
>>677733948
pretty much
THERE IS ONLY THE EMPEROR
DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN
>>677736710
Hey, me too. It is a religion though, it just doesn't worship a deity. Which is not required to be a religion.
>>677738168
What specifically?
>>677732057
Asatru
I worship the v8! Witness me!!
Talos is the one true god
>>677738200
Hey I like me some weird nice people and their space Jesus.
>>677738200
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46PXaJxzuDE
>>677738200
And yet you're on /b/....
>>677738200
How are the special underwear?
>>677738126
because real science has proven the difference between a living thing and a dead thing is simply that it is dead or alive and either has cells replicating or not or activity within the brain or not with no actual cause.. you are right anon, I think you are on to something, we are also unable to have thoughts, those are all just random chemical reactions as proven by large pharma.
I'm not religious, but does feminism count?
>>677737795
it is though and i'll prove it.
>while the thing that lives has all the same parts
Yea it's called a human body.
>simply moving the heart and jolting it with electricity will not keep it alive.
It will though. read any basic anatomy text book ever.
either this is bait or you're REALLY gullible.
>>677738200
Mormon is a cult. Not a religion.
>>677732057
Touhouism
>>677733948
>I'm not an atheist because I'm an intellectual
>>677738454
I love this stereotype, all hail space jesus
>>677734316
Scientology.
>>677738371
No just stop dude. I'm not going into this argument. I entered this thread to consider the conversion to Catholicism, not debate creation.
Otherkin
>>677738013
How do people get into that stuff? Been thinking off going to the east. Maybe China to find myself.
>>677738748
Then stop replying to him you pleb.
>>677738524
it doesn't though, you can jolt something to make the muscles react, thats it.. it doesn't stop decay, it is not actually alive.. you are literally proving me right.
>>677738718
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uoo2AydLwE
>>677738523
Feminism does indeed count as a religion. A religion of hating men and donating money to Sharkeesien may vagina's blessing be upon her.
>>677738757
1. Not a religion.
2. Kys
>>677738513
only select people in the church wear them, like missionaries.
>>677738524
because all basic anatomy books tell you that Frankenstein is real, thats what my teacher told us anyway.
I sexually identify as nazi, but I'm Jewish...what do I do?
>>677738579
It was a dark day in 2006 Texas repealed it's okay to murder Mormon's law.
>>677738579
you are thinking about the FLDR who are fuckin insane, no not the LDS.
>>677738817
Fucking hell. He was replying to me.
>>677738969
Fart on yourself obviously
>>677738842
>decay
No, just no. Do you even know why decay happens?
>>677738757
non-denominational christian. hit me.
I'm an atheist so, the only thing left is roasting others, I guess.
>>677737284
Whoa way too soon, man.
>>677738503
oh trust me its funny as hell to tell people about 4chan after church.
Discordianism, baby.
>>677738842
So you're telling me if i find a man 30 seconds after having a heart attack and use paddles to shock him back to life, he's now a zombie? Well damn, skippy we better get our shotguns!
>>677739077
>>677738961
done with you son.
Islam, read quran and you'll understand
>>677738495
top kek, this is now my ringtone
>>677739108
Pick one you non committal fag.
I personally am wiccan, And it's the greatest thing
>>677732057
Pretty much everyone on /b/ is atheistic, agnostic, or the weak-sauce brand of Christianity where none of the Christian doctrines really apply because it's "just about believing in the core message bruh" AKA "I'm too much of a pussy to let go of what I was indoctrinated in to."
>>677732057
My religion is none of your fucking business fuck face.
>>677739244
That is not how that works.. lmao.. how about we just stop here I am laughing too much
>>677739198
>chaos worship
lol
>>677739263
I watch anime for my brainwashing more sexy girls less burka and gay circle jerks in the mountains.
>>677737764
>Celtic religions
>Having anything to do with Christianity
Looks like someone was educated in 'Murrica
>>677739359
*tips fedora*
>>677732057
Catholic. I don't need to get roasted, I'm not baptized so I get to suffer the flames of hell regardless.
>>677732057
I worship        the eternal.
(sorry lengthy post)
>>677739288
>not realizing jesus' church of the first 12 apostles wasnt a denomination
>not realizing that the church jesus wanted wasnt split into various groups
>>677739468
Well Christianity did wipe out the religion several times and co-oped it's holidays.
>>677739401
Damn right.
We can't control shit, so why bother?
Might as well try to enjoy it.
>>677737672
Can I get a shop of this into " moshi moshi
bait desu."?
>>677739390
Living things don't decay because they have natural defenses against it. No magic required.
>>677739571
that what the Mormon church "fixed"
>>677739564
Nah just purgatory. And most allow after death baptisms which many do for everyone every few years.
>>677739564
if you werent christened as a baby you technically arent catholic. that would mean you're out of the records.
>>677739623
I saved that pic so I can look at that later, shit seems hella fun
>>677732057
Cult of Cthulhu
>>677739263
How many goats did you fuck today ?
>>677732057
Atheism
>>677738781
You lost yourself in China?! Good luck bro your self is probably being snorted out of a hookers ass in the basement of a gambling den
>>>677732192
Greek Pantheon* nice try edgelord
Jewish
>Takes cover
>>677739653
Give me 5 minutes and i got you, fam.
Deism
>>677739591
>Well Christianity did wipe out the religion several times and co-oped it's holidays.
Tried to wipe out the religion several times and after faceplanting decided to compromise
>>677739591
>Worshiping rocks, and trees>an actual martyr who died on a cross, and was resurrected.
>ISHTGYDBT
the machine cult of course
>>677739787
Not a religion, shitlord.
>>677739773
He has religious services every week. Just have to watch his blessed children in anime tentacle porn.
>>677739827
Stormfag here....kill yourself I'm out of chlorine
>>677739806
Figured someone might correct me. Good to know.
>>677739702
mormonism, catholicism, eastern orthodoxy, jehovah's witnesses, etc., are all straight-up wrong, in the sense that none of them properly follow the bible, being the foundation of their faith. technically, the same could be said about southern baptist, pentecostal, and presbyterian churches.
I believe in Yog-Sothoth
>>677739752
I enjoy it. Plus it fits my viewpoint of "nothing matters so lighten the fuck up and relax."
>>677732057
Jew
>>677732057
Mainline Protestantism.
>Bring it
>>677739934
what is his religion actualy called?
>>677739910
>Worshiping rocks, and trees
Acknowledging the sovereignty of all things
>an actual martyr who died on a cross, and was resurrected.
Worshiping a genocidal red pill tier woman hating god that threatens to burn you forever if you don't suck him off
>>677739015
No he's thinking of Mormons in general, it's a cult schism off of Christianity same as Christianity is a schism off of Judaism.
>>677735780
Extraordinary person of value detected
Nevermind those of ignorance on this board brother
We who think akin to your beliefs exist we usually just keep quiet
>>677740071
...and there's nothing wrong with that.
>>677738781
To start try reading the tao te ching and some articles online so you get a better understanding. Meditate however u see fit and see if you can actually feel the connections. Also there are plenty of Taoist temples in almost every major city. No need to go China quite yet.
>>677739717
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHynUWpycew
>>677733041
Nah nothing here
candomble
He has many sects I enjoy the one on http://hentaigasm.com/
>>677736269
define a soul first
i worship the all might Raptor jesus may many lols be with you
>>677740061
Will learn about it then
>>677739877
Dubs and no criticism :^)
>>677739921
Glad to know, don't want to go to atheist limbo/hell
I'm Rastafarian
>>677740035
the Mormon church took all of the faiths that the christian churches follow IE: Catholicism, Protestantism Juedo-Christianity and many others and reunited them under one church.
>>677740207
>keep quiet
And thus continue to not understand basic biological prosesses forever.
>>677740286
Hentaism...the religion of friction burned dicks
I follow the one true religion of America. I worship money and greed. Pretty much any Religion in USA is a sub sect but the Mammon worshipers in Baptist Church are the best followers of it.
The word of clown is law. You can't keep the clown down.
>>677739390
Then how does it work. Cause the way your phrasing it, once you die ( even if you're revived) you aren't truly alive.
>>677740434
You worship pot, there's literally nothing wrong with that
>>677740434
What all does that entail? Is it really just smoking dank herb?
>>677740489
Is your prophet the lvl.10 omega beta virgin lord?
>>677739263
I have read it. Back to front. I was born and raised Muslim.
It's just repackaged Christianity which is repackaged Judaism to better suit the age and climate it was written.
I left when I was 17 because of how stupid and constricting it was. Because of the state of the world and the idea that some God was actually up there either helping terrorists or not doing anything about them killing in his name.
It's quite possibly the worst of the three books and closes minds and makes believers into zealots.
It is a monstrous creation and I am saddened that my family still live by it and that it is tearing my nation apart.
Islam is a typical religion situated in a shitty part of the world and it b a matters worse for that region rather then better.
>>677740605
I seem to recall it's the worship of some regional king as the avatar of god.
The Church of The Milkman
Join the Calcium Crusades my brothers in curds.
I'm a Jedi, our religion is strong with this one....desu
>>677740605
No one knows they all have forgotten why they smoke the holy herb. They only remember they need to smoke it and have plenty of munchies around.
>>677740763
Pity your messiah is in a galaxy far far away
>>677740531
Nice bait liberal cuck. Go eat shit while you worship an old Jew and practice your faggy 'new age' religion
>>677740177
Ok sorry.
>Worshiping worldly idols.
>Worshiping worldly values that mean nothing in heaven.
>Not acknowledging man as the head of a household.
>Thinking any form of Christianity is sexist.
I bet you wonder why society is degrading at the rate it is.
>>677740709
tl;dr
Machinist, we worship the iron, the steel, the moving gears of weapons, tanks, cars, and other God sends
>>677740915
I'm not really making this is up...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_theology
>>677732592
>>677732592
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9w-i5oZqaQ
>>677740531
Let me guess, you vote for Bernie ?
>>677740986
He read it, it's the same bs as all religion, his family still believe it, pity on them
>>677740986
Tldr. Was Muslim. Left. It's shit and contradictory and a great brainwashing tool.
As a socialist I only serve to my people
>>677740709
Just admit that you're white and probably going to vote for Trump
>>677741101
Trump, why would I want to give away my God given wealth?
>>677740445
I understand basic biology retard faggot
Your qualia-akin mindset is degeneracy at its finest though
No ones arguing about the biological processes stupid shit
What were arguing about (unnecessarily so, people like you are descendent from lizardkin and should be burned alive for blaming the Jews who were the first to preach love for God (the universe as a whole) and fellow man) is what drives a man to do unexplanable things
Nothing in the brain accounts for morals, values etc
Were all ttrnsmitters bro
Once our bodies are broken we no longer pick up the frequency that is our spirit and its no longer trapped in this bodu
Thats not to say kill yourself either rhough
You should act in a way while you have the gift of life to benefit the world as a whole and leave it a better plqce than you found it and continue the cyclicle nature of things
But one like you would nevwr understand as youre nothinf more than a construct of universal evil, and a catalyst for chaos with your willful ignorance of the spiritual flame within all of us
You will not return to the cosmos
Your negative energy need be cleansed before you ever elevate from this life
Nigga
>>677739855
I praise thanks opoun your kind and talented heart
>>677732262
POO IN LOO
>>677741186
Turkish and live in Australia now. Never been to America. I think trump is an idiot but I also firmly believe anyone but Hillary, and with that in mind go trump.
>>677741064
You're still missing the point, post YOUR religion, not let's bring out every stupid religion we can think of and mock it. Libtard
>>677732057
whats it called when you think there's a higher being but not one that people have ever come in contact with
>>677741424
besides autistic
>>677741339
>>677741257
>>677741173
Please continue explaining your religion. Not sure I'll convert but I do like the visual aids.
my religion clearly states that OP is a MAJOR faggot
>>677741384
That was my religion dumbass. I love money above all else. It buys everything including the afterlife why would anyone pick any other religion?
>>677741424
If you don't think it's possible for humans to understand the true nature of the supreme being, that would be theistic agnosticism. If you think the supreme being doesn't want to be contacted, that's deism.
>>677741552
Kek. Thanks anon-san
>>677741258
>nothing in the brain accounts for morals, values, etc.
That is blatantly incorrect. Ever heard of APSD? Do they just not have souls? We don't agree on the facts, so this argument is pointless.
>>677735657
You've covered pretty much everything. Can't say the same for those altar boys.
>>677732057
Not religious. Never have been.
>>677741424
Retardedly imaginative, we may never know but you'll be the first one to die because you think space invaders are here to breed with us and show us God when they're probably all heathens who want to kill us and take our planet. We need a space wall.
>>677741729
*ASPD
>>677732326
No, it's what pussies believe when they want to hedge their bets.
>>677741594
I don't believe you, you sound like a condescending liberal, if not you're a fucking idiot for believing monetary value means dick.
>>677741424
Aspergers Syndrome
The religion of tar, of pestilence, the religion of the darkness that lingers under every breath of every new born child, every laughter of every soul, the inferno that sustains the blindness in which you feed yourself. The religion of molten metal, that creeps upon the valleys and the bottom of the ocean. The tar that awakens the flesh of new ages, and the tar manifests in the night. For a darkness, so covered the world, that it contaminates the soil, and now you see, life, in its nothingness, has new meaning
i have replaced everything religion does for people with philosophy, literature, and art
it works the same, with out all of the pointless rules
>>677732057
Agnosticism.
>>677742111
Edgy trips
>>677741939
Why it makes my life great, I walk into any church in the USA and I just take the money from the donation plate.
Most people don't say anything, those that do I laugh in their face and tell them I make more than they do and I deserve it.
If they get violent I just remind them they are in God's house and if God didn't want me to have it he would've done something about it.
>>677733948
Also nihilist
I support Scientology and Trump, former Muslim but now I know the Truth about how the world really is, the Jew based religions are ill and need cleansing, they think they know the Truth but it is unseen in their eyes. Xenu is coming
>>677742111
So much edge
>>677742223
God doesn't work that way and you sound even more like a Libtard posing as a republitard
Heaven's Gate
>>677738521
Aging is the process of cells being damaged over time and genetic timed factors, this is understood. Our bodies function until a certain point where they break down. Chemical reactions are not random, I don't know why you would think that.
I believe in the one true Yiff God, were if your good, you get to yiff in heaven for all eternity
Ex-muslim. Bring it faggots.
>>677742432
Why doesn't God work that way? He's omnipotent right? It would take an infinitesimal fraction of his power to stop it. Or would that be too convienient?
>>677734149
Been graduated for 5 years m8
>>677734434
No
>>677735747
Not really
>>677742307
so you went from retarded to super retarded
>nice
>>677742432
700 club begs to differ. God is smiting church goers left and right with tornado's for allowing the poor to get free money and the gays to breed.
>>677735290
It's not even called "Odinism" dumbass
>>677739056
> replying the guy who says stop replying
Fucking seriously
>>677742640
I like this religion for one reason only It means no furies in hell. Hail Satan!
>>677734369
enjoy your time in the hell of the one true god whos name i definitely know
>>677742957
It's Trump.
>>677732057
Non fedora wearing atheist. There is more to this universe than is dreamt of in your religion. It is infinite, complex, and wondrous beyond anything our ancestors could have ever imagined. The progression from the simplest forms of matter to the evolution of beings that are capable of grasping, even crudely, the magesty of the cosmos is an epic history that makes the creation myths of any religion seem but a crude limerick scrawled on the bathroom wall of infinity.
>>677742957
For the last time Autism boy . Carrot Top is not a God! He just told you that so you wouldn't tell everyone about him being a pedo.
im agnostic u cant roast me fool
>>677743020
*tips fedora*
>>677739263
And then go around murdering heathens? No thanks...
I truly believe that Bernie Sanders is the second coming and you are all ruining everything by not helping Jesus get elected president. God is pissed and fire will engulf America from the East, watery hurricanes from the South, terrible wind storms in the North, and Earth quakes in the West, only Bernie Christ can stop this with the help of your contributions at votebernie.gov
>>677743075
Kind of missed your way into heaven... Pretty sure comet isn't due back in your lifetime.
The religion of Jack Daniels and ever clear...
>>677741780
>space wall
kek
>>677743099
>I willingly choose to ignore probability so that no one yells at me
>>677738200
I read that as Moron first.
Not that it would make any difference
>>677732057
I'm not a religious guy and I don't give a shit about other people's religion as long as they don't try to impose their shitty beliefs on others.
>>677743195
If God supports him why does he need our help?
I mean I think an all knowing, powerful, seeing ect can take care of this one himself.
>>677743410
Trump is God 2.0
Ain't shit the faggot God can do.
>>677739773
>>677743380
But they all do. With their children, who aren't intelligent enough to realize it's bullshit.