>tfw no loving gf to cook for you
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>tfw no loving gf to cook for you
>>677618248
Does that really count as cooking?
>tfw no clever gf who puts canned spaghetti on top of regular pasta
>>677618248
>pan seared hotdogs
>mac and cheese
>>677618248
Seeing this disgusting shit, I'm pretty happy I can cook for myself.
My old lady really only cooks chicken and spaghetti. It's not all its cracked up to be anon
>>677618691
It looks like she shit on his food. What the fuck
>>677618664
>tfw no gf who can boil water
I don't need a fucking bitch to cook me dinner.
Should have pan seared THESE hot dogs
>>677618248
>mfw i can make a steak dinner with sides
>mfw you pan sear fucking sausages
I'D RATHER EAT THAT FUCKING DESSERT RAMEN OVER THAT SHIT
>>677619132
Translation: "Finally some breakfast"
Frozen pitas, frozen wok. I guess some people only need a microwave to "cook"
>>677619014
>She should have lip smeared his fucking hot dog after to make up for the atrocity on that plate
I cook for gf and myself. I am quite skilled, have impressed pretty much everyone I cook for, because I understand basic principles.
Gf's mom is great cook, same deal.
Gf's dad is a great grill operator and "outdoors" style cook.
Gf's sister goes out every day.
Gf is too much of an experimenter, never makes anything that is just right, unless she copies exactly what I did the day before, even then something is just a little out of whack.
Regardless, learn to cook based anon. You will impress yourself, all the single ladies, all the other ladies, other men (to show your superior woman wooing skills) and you won't eat a shitty alone meal again.
>You might eat a shitty gf meal though
>>677618248
Wifee cooked me roast chicken and veggies last night, shit was cash. But i like cooking too esp. grilling, so we split it up 50/50 for the most part
My gf knows how to keep her man happy ;)
I dare you to post any of this shit in /ck/.
Many kids to be had
>>677618859
checked, seems like you cook as good as my gf
>>677620935
>>677618987
is that deer shit or prunes in that hot dog bun?
I just get a burrito like every day. The girl at the burrito place has a huge crush on me anyways and the food is good, so I don't really feel that feel.
>>677618859
lost
>>677619224
i can see why they are single...
>>677619224
where in this picture is the steak? it can't be that black thing to the side, right?
All the food posted looks pretty shit but at least these women are trying. I ve met women who wear their inability to cook for themselves as a badge that they are proud of.
>>677618248
if that atrocity is what you call cooking then i'd rather be by myself.
i mean, imagine having to stomach that every other day because you don't have the heart to tell her she can't cook for shit
>>677618248
that dish looks like shit
>>677621334
I'm more concerned with the potato...I think it might have been a plastic toy
>>677619652
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
>itt: struggle plates
>>677621397
i wouldn't doubt feminazis out there consider being unable to cook "fighting the patriarchy" since they're going against their "designated roles/functions".
it's also no wonder plenty of them are small planets.
this makes me sick, no one should ever be served that terribly-plated pile of filth. Looking at this makes my skin itch.
>>677621397
That's actually a feminist value.
>>677618248
Seared? Good food poisoning.
>>677619224
is that black shit on the side the fucking steak??
These girls are doing this as a joke, right? RIGHT!?
>>677621638
oh shit you're right i hadn't noticed there were supposed to be potatoes in there.
i don't think he knows what baked means.
>>677621881
hotdogs are already boiled to fuck there is no way to get food poisoning even if you eat them out of the package uncooked
>>677621915
looks like a piece of beef jerky
>>677621736
>no wonder plenty of them are small planets.
kek.
>>677618248
>pan seared
Holy shit my sides
>yfw your gf makes partially raw noodles
>yfw she burns everything
>yfw you have grown use to the taste of char over the past decade
>yfw you grew up eating home cooked meals made from scratch only to get married and eat microwave shit and half raw half burnt cooked meals every day
>yfw you now expect raw dough in the center whenever she makes cinnamon rolls
>yfw you now have extremely painful acid reflux and heart burn problems that you never used to have
is it just me are are women getting shittier
and shittier at cooking
but tell themselves they are amazing at it to keep up with the standard of great cooking housewives that can keep their man with just their meals...
>>677622007
Ah hotdogs not sausages, the new working class
>>677618248
>>677618525
>>677618664
>>677618691
>>677618987
>>677619014
>>677619224
Okok, what the fuck is going on here?
Is that an American thing or something?
How would you even be able to unrionically cook something that shitty? Or is this some social media trend where you brag while holding the most disgusting food imagineable?
>>677622100
Nah, you just aren't telling her when she fucks up so she has no reason to improve. If someone told you that you were the greatest lover in history, would you go all out trying to be even better? Fuck no, you're already awesome, why waste the time?
Same shit. Let her believe she's perfect and she'll act like it.
>>677622100
You have to pick up the mantle son. You have to become the family cook
>>677618248
this is like a thread about woman that can't cook for shit.
>>677622100
Have you ever tried cooking for yourself, you faggot?
>>677622100
I was going to insult you, but this is making me feel really bad. I made a lasagna with homemade noodles, mozzarella, and ricotta for dinner last night. You're welcome for dinner anytime.
>>677622100
How about you stop being a bitch and cook yourself then?
>>677622100
damn that shit hit me pretty deep man. my girlfriend burns everything and ive developed GERD in the last year after living with her for the last 3.
>>677618248
Absolutely horrid and pathetic. Why take credit for such a thing?
>>677618392
Yeah that's shit. My ex used to cook me food like diced marinaded lamb on a skillet with a bit of side salad. That was a late night snack and was fucking lovely.
Jesus Christ, I am so glad my gf can cook. Here's some eggplant and sausage risotto with garlic asparagus she made recently.
Can't tell if the hotdog/macaron pic is bait... but I guess I just fell for it.
Cooking has always helped me get the ladies. Never been with a woman who can cook and avoid those who can. Cooking is one of my few appealing traits.
>>677619014
this doesn't look bad. Just classic sausage soup. It's popular in Poland with green peas
>>677622512
That looks good! So you mix the sausage in?
>>677622231
yeah hotdogs are 90% pork dicks, anuses and rats that fall into the machine they have to make sure they boil the meat before they grind it into a meat slushy
>>677618888
All my keks xD
>>677618248
Women who can't cook ITT
>>677622596
That's not soup.
I think he's making fried eggs with cheap hot dogs.
>>677618392
For young women now, yeah.
Be glad she took 10 minutes to stop listening to Megan Trainor telling her to be fat and have you do all the work in the relationship to make you your pig gut sticks and starch tubes covered in """"""cheese""""".
>>677618664
Keep him on the toilet
>>677622247
>implying i haven't told her on a few occasions that half her food is indigestible
whatever you say anonymous person who comes to conclusions of peoples lives from a brief joke/summary
>>677622256
yeah i probably should
>>677619224
>burnt steak on a fucking styrofoam plate
>>677622463
>>677622100
Are you faggots retarded?
I moved in with a housemate recently, she can't cook for shit, I can. So I cook and she cleans every night, we get to eat good food and I don't do all the work, it's a win win. Not fucking difficult.
>>677622100
My flatmate was also a awful cook, though he seemed aware of it she didn't looked like she cared. I think people don't have time to cook anymore. That's fucking sad, because food is life.
>>677622596
You do understand that this isnt soup and That isnt sausage
>>677622704
o-oh... well, eggs with sausages are good too I guess...
>>677622618
Fuck me.. im glad i live in the countryside. It's hard to find sausages less than at least 60-70% pork
>>677622615
Yeah, it's fantastic. Lookup 'Lemon and Eggplant Risotto' by Yotam Ottolenghi - that's the recipe she uses. She's obsessed with his cooking (we own all of his cookbooks). I'm not complaining :)
>>677622704
Trying to make an omelet or scramble yeah
>>677618248
>tfw always been a good cook
>tfw women too independent and stronk for learning how to cook
>tfw I now have to impress women by cooking for them
>tfw housewives dont exist anymore
>>677622596
looks like an omelette with cheap shitty hot dogs
>>677622618
>stats pulled out of your ass
>>677622782
It's fucking hot dogs, not sausages.
I'm German and I know you guys in Poland enjoy sausages as much as we do here, but trust me, you wouldn't want to eat hot dogs.
>>677622512
oh man please tell me more about how she cut the sausage into pieces and put it in the pan. almost as impressive as the seared hotdog
putting asparagus in a pan is super intense next level cooking too, definitely picture worthy.
How the fuck do these people breathe. Cooking anything by anyone is one google search away, i even made perfect creme brule on my first attempt.
fuck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkxzgB_tqlw
>>677622778
then what is it if not sausage
>>677622782
It's not sausages, they are hot dogs, they are different.
>>677622807
kek
>>677622830
That sounds awesome! I'll try the recipe. I make this mushroom risotto with a mix of whatever mushrooms look good. Usually portobellos are in there. It looks like shit, but tastes amazing.
>>677622865
Nigger gonna choke on a bone
>>677622512
Thanks man ! This pic actually relieved me after seeing so many shitty meals.
This thread is almost worse than a gore thread.
>>677622979
Holy shit that one made me gag more than anything else in this thread.
>>677619224
>a slice of plastic fucking cheese on the potato.
>>677618248
>tfw gf uses dumb tags in a shitpost
>>677618888
Fucking this.
>>677618248
I woke up today and cooked my self an egg white omelet stuffed with goat cheese and sauted kale/onions. I also had a side of turkey bacon steel cut oats mixed with almonds and some green tea. The last gf that put a meal together for me served me a well done steak covered in burnt Montreal seasoning, took all I had not to beat her for wasting a decent rib eye.
![[Phoenixing Intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/6KI7aLN.gif "[Phoenixing Intensifies].gif")
>>677622256
He's probably already the ATM, unpaid bodyguard, dildo, etc. He can't be a god damn chef too.
>>677622914
Why don't you make a risotto you fucking idiot
>hurr durr lets make fun of women for not being able to cook like 5 star chefs
meanwhile MEN are making dishes like this and you all aren't complaining
>>677622918
Let the lazy fucks of the world eat shit if they want to.
>>677623021
Beans on toast = britfag chow
>>677621736
>>677621811
Funnily enough all of them who have told me this have the i dont need no man. Im independendant and in same breath lol I don't cook im a feminist. Since when is relying on other people to cook for you a independent attribute. Most men who dont cook either dont try to bring it up, are embarrassed, or answer sheepishly. I have never seen a man take pride in not being able to cook.
>>677622979
What kind of shrimp are those? It's like she picked out the dried shrimp from a case of Cup Noodles
>>677623118
I recognize this. There was a thread on some forum where people posted their nachos
>>677622934
Hot dog
Ok technically a sausage, but i hate calling them that because they are like how canned cheese is technically cheese. But it isnt
>>677623118
>on 4chan
>concerned about sexism
you may choose 1
>>677623150
not with random fucking cucumbers tho nigger
>>677622914
Guess your plebeian mind doesn't know what a risotto is and the degree of skill used to make it.
>>677621736
>i wouldn't doubt feminazis out there consider being unable to cook "fighting the patriarchy" since they're going against their "designated roles/functions".
Women in general believe this, feminazi or not.
>>677623196
The kind of shrimp you find in a can no doubt, American can fucking everything.
>flemish girlfriend
>made macadamia-nut encrusted mahi tuna for sunday dinner
Fuck me. I'm spoiled.
>>677623118
>implying nachos are not in a category of their own
>>677623118
Thats because we work all day, we dont have time to cook
Also even then I'm still a superior cook to most women
This is the most upsetting thread I've ever seen, all this food is fucking TERRIBLE. Glad I'm single (I can cool) but it holds no hope for the mass majority as women forgot how to woman.
>>677618248
Good.
Most girls I dated around my age dont know jack fucking shit about cooking.
>>677623339
>mahi
>>677622914
Look mommy, no pans!!!
I think we need to change it to "get out of the kitchen"
>>677623118
We are making fun of the men too, it's equally pathetic, cooking isn't a gender specific skill, everyone should know how to feed themselves.
>>677623118
Comparing nachos to an actual meal. That's snack food faggot.
Every adult human should be able to cook themselves a decent meal. There's no excuse for not being able to cook - you can look up a recipe and follow the instructions and make great food.
>>677623237
Britbong here
Confirmed
>>677623435
>implying
>>677619014
>No big deal
Then why make a big deal out of it on fucking facebook?
>>677623273
>risotto is hard meme
Next youll be saying how hard it was to sear those asparagus
>>677622870
>2016
>wanting to impress women
get on my level
>>677623021
This has to be a fucking joke
>>677619629
what even is that lol
>>677623118
I recall a german TV show, where a professional TV Chef would get students from the street and have them cook something like Lasagna, with the ingredients they provided.
Basically they made a 30 min Bolognese stacked it with cheese and pasta and called Lasagna
Perfectly fine for meal for a student with no discernible interest in cooking.
Then the chef would prepare his meal and critique every thing the students did differently.
Starting off that they didn't wash the vegetables and ending in not letting the bolognese simmer for a couple hours.
The conclusion? German students aren't capable of feeding themselves.
>>677623273
>turning on a rice cooker is hard
>>677622865
I don"t know what's worse between the compression rate of the pic and the " " "soup" " " he cooks
i must have a different definition of what cooking is, these women today microwave some precooked trash and then praise themselves for being 'cooks'
>>677622722
Seeing as your post explicitly implies you still eat the food, it's a perfectly reasonable conclusion. If you don't mean to be so literal, fucking do it cunt.
>>677622870
> tfw you can be a houseman
> tfw you don't get why women bitch about housework all the time
>>677622948
the fuck these niggers can't buy some plates. would be cheaper to buy some plates than keep buying disposables.
>>677623632
Do you make your risotto in the rice cooker? I didn't even think that was a thing. I do it by stirring.
>>677623614
It's wet noodles topped with "cheese" you spray from a can.
>>677622242
No. Fat broke ass americans actually think this shit is good food.
Many are afraid to eat anything else either.
>>677623614
boiled (probably microwaved) easy mac elbow pasta with canned squeeze cheese
>>677623830
Damn that would even be sad of a lonely /b/tard
>>677623273
>degree of skill used to make it.
Level 1 cooking that 15 year olds do in my country. Basic shit.
>>677623848
yeah, fuck americans
Now that's a breakfast
I hate women. I am constantly stressed out between work and attending school at night. My Mom is constantly calling me crying about how she's so stressed out having to clean the house and make meals for my Dad. Bitch, you have a free house, free food, free everything, and you're sitting on your ass 22 hours out of 24.
>>677619652
There was a thread yesterday where anon ate his brother's months old cum. This is on par with that.
My girlfriend cooks amazing food.
Steak, mashed potatoes, side salad, bean sprouts...
Chinese soup, dumplings, rice, shrimp, lobster, everything...
You name it, she makes it.
She's a fucking pain in the ass sometimes, but damn is she ever a good cook.
>>677623273
>cook vegetables
>add rice + water
>cover for 15-20 min
>smear that shit in cheese
>Tadaaaaaa you got your fucken' MLG top tier risotto !!
You fucking nigger.
>>677623933
>>677623936
No wonder Americans lead the Earth in obesity
>>677619224
That poor steak. Why do people post these? And why are so many black?
>>677623936
Ah, english breakfast, my hangover food.
>>677623857
>boiled (probably microwaved) easy mac
What the hell? You get noodles you can microwave instead of cooking them in boiling water?
That sounds really disgusting. Not that the fucking canned cheese will make it any better. Fuck and I though I'd eat lowlife food but this takes the cake
>>677624058
It boggles the mind. I mean if you do something well, you'd want people to know. But that shit? Do they honestly think that cooking pasta is an achievement?
>>677624001
That's an english breakfast (but I don't see any bubble and squeak) you mong.
Damn. Too busy choking on sand-nigger dicks in [insert country that isn't america/russia/china/] to experience foreign tastes?
>>677622948
i'm convinced there's literal shit on his plate, i just don't know which part of it.
>>677624116
homemade noodles master race
>>677622242
The point of these pics is most of them are horrible. Like most things here.
>>677623118
He's black
>>677624001
That's a full english faggot
>>677623960
Pic related.
>>677624001
Weak bait is weak
>>677623933
I am fat myself, but that guy's just a fucking shithead. Denial and all
>>677624190
But the original uploader won't have put them online so that we can cringe over them, they must have considered it news worthy, how sad.
>>677623118
i see no man in that picture.
>>677624116
Dude you can microwave any noodles
>>677623936
>fried toast
>fried english muffin
>multiple fried sausages
>fried bacon? in there
>fried TOMATO
>FRIED EGG
>FRIED MUSHROOMS
>baked beans in sugar sauce
Found the amerikkklapifatistan
>>677622100
al bundy is dat you?
>>677623074
Are your almonds activated ?
>>677623971
Well, your risotto is probably the consistency of paste, but if that's what you like to eat, that's your nigger tastebuds.
>>677624224
That looks like some boring ass plain shit. Oh wow she can boil vegetables and put steak in a pan? Amazing.
>>677624116
It's specifically Easy Mac that does it. They give you small elbows, a bowl, and tell you to fill it up with water to the line. Microwave 'til soft, dump in the powder cheese
but yeah you can microwave water to a boil and cook pasta that way if you're weird. I like to boil mine traditionally
>>677623933
Here in America, we use dollars. Not pounds you uncultured fuck.
>>677623273
maybe, but there's also no way for us to know that's a properly made risotto.
>>677623604
>being this much of a sperg
I ain't even jelly mang
>>677624301
But not when you buy them. Here you can buy either totally dry noodles you cook in water, or "homemade" ones which are really fucking expensive and wet, but you'll need to cook them for a minute either way.
Microwaving would not work. So I don't really get that, must be a murican thing
>>677624362
True...
She's a shit cook.
>>677624308
that's a fucking english breakfast. please go kill yourself
>>677624440
This is fair
>>677623207
Canned cheese?
You're joking right? Right??
>>677624173
Fuck yeah you know it!
>>677624362
Exactly
Boil water
Put in veggies
Pan cook steak
Butter onions
Mix taters
>>677624468
Holy shit she can cut up vegetables and put them in the oven too? Must be a genius.
>>677624468
tfw no amazing chef gf
>>677622512
Who came on the asparagus?
>>677623105
That pre-made "risotto" was straight out of the bag into the microwave.
>>677622979
that portion size. she must be bulking.
>>677623981
>>677624001
Britdicks can't be far behind.
Have you seen the insight?
https://youtu.be/PIBx_BIkYsk
>>677623848
You've never been to the US, have you?
Poor fat people's diets are pretty much the same in all 1st world countries, with minor variances due to the region. Turns out poor fat people are often lazy and undisciplined world round. And when yo combine a compleat lack of any want to cook, money to buy quality food, and no discipline to stay away from the most unhealthy shit out there, you get meals that are unhealthy af. This thread is an example of the worst of the worst.
>>677624224
you seriously make 2 plates and pour 2 drinks to intentionally take a picture and fool people into thinking you are not alone?
Jesus Christ, are women just not learning how to cook? I can cook a high end meal with no recipe or measuring. Just eyeballing and throwing whatever I think would be good in. I have never made a bad meal. Yet women throw burnt hotdogs in mac and cheese with scrambled eggs and think they can cook. That's the type of shit they make in porno, where they just throw shit in a pan and pretend to stir it.
>>677624362
Did you not see the Laptop and the iPhone?!
I have no idea why they are in the picture, but it definitely makes them better people.
>>677624380
Kek that sounds so bad, I mean making traditional Mac & Cheese isn't hard at all. Why opt for such a shitty thing..
>but yeah you can microwave water to a boil and cook pasta that way if you're weird. I like to boil mine traditionally
Guess you could, but the outcome won't be good. Noodles need like a lot of water and high temperatures to get good.
>>677624467
Dude you fill a bowl with water
Put your dry noodles in
Microwave
Cooked noodles
It isnt an american thing, you just dont understand that any noodle can be boiled in a microwave
>>677623118
Nigger at least I cook something edible for lunch.
>>677624284
I very much doubt that. But then again satire is easily lost in text.
>>677622979
Are those sea monkies?
>>677623471
Underrated post.
>>677624308
That's an English breakfast you sandnigger
>>677622948
is that a pretzel covered in shit and beans?
>>677623615
Hold the phone, children couldn't do what isn't even expected of most adults? Outrageous!
>>677618664
Cheese and corn can actually be pretty good.
my gf made me lunch
>>677624704
I think Kraft mac and cheese, to be fair, has its place. It's like eating cheese puff flavored pasta, not real mac and cheese. Comparing it to a baked or stovetop based on a bechamel is sacrilege, though.
>tfw cook all my own meals
>tfw 0 fucks given
>>677624707
>sausage, taters and a small salad
Now that's a lunch. I wonder if I got any Polska left in the freezer...
>>677624707
>mein neger
>>677623074
>kale
>turkey bacon
>egg whites
>green tea
would rather have the burnt steak than eat like faggot
spoiler: it might be "healthy" food but you still ate fucking 900+ calories for breakfast you fat fuck
>>677624665
I think less and less people are learning to cook.
It's one of those things you just do as an adult, but rarely teach your kids about, since it's so habitual.
>>677624224
This is the most sad picture of all. That food is not that hard to cook.
The worst part is that you and your "partner" feel the need to watch tv on a laptop?
Have a fucking conversation.
>>677623118
I am actually impressed with that plate of nachos. It actually looks delicious.
>>677618691
I can't tell what that is. It may be some delicious curry, or it may be sickly dog shit. I reserve judgment for now.
>>677622914
Yeah, the sausage isn't hard. And yes, the asparagus is only baked on a pan with seasoning and Parmesan cheese.
But the risotto takes some serious time and effort. More than a hot dog and Mac n cheese.
But if you're offering to cook for me instead - Chef Anon - please do go on.
>tfw gf plays vidya
>come home one day
>see this
>we stay up all night with snacks and vidya
>>677624468
The only thing i would say would make her a good cook is if the sauce is from scratch. Otherwise she has the cooking skill of a caveman.
>chicken and veggies in the oven
Nigger i do that then go do yard work, it isnt complex
>>677624766
Well, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were being sarcastic
No need to expect the worst on the Internet.
>>677624857
Asian doesn't count. If your asian gf couldn't cook she would have been killed.
I like my bacon extra crispy
>>677619629
pasta shells and string cheese...
tryna make mac n cheese anon?
>>677624857
that looks like something you'd see either in a hospital or a school canteen
>>677624857
Found the vegan
>>677623615
This chef is a fucking dumbfuck, the producer who paid for this show is even worse.
>>677622984
Definitely worth a shot. And look the chef up - my gf is a great cook, but his recipes are a whole new level.
>>677624947
Wtf? I do this all the time, my girlfriend has nothing interesting to say... She's a woman. So we watch tv while we eat.
>>677618248
https://youtu.be/dZu7_z7SDEQ
>>677625038
You're a faggot
>>677625038
cripsy without being burnt
>>677624997
enjoy it because soon enough all you're gonna be able to do is stay home with snacks and vidya
>>677624997
NGL that looks amazing but you also don't have a girlfriend and you ate it all yourself
>>677622256
This. There is a reason the best chefs in the world are men.
>>677623418
>Work 7a.m. - 4:30 p.m. M-F.
>Cook breakfast for 5, full breakfast
>Create 3 unique lunches so kids don't get bored af eating same shit every day. Never do sandwiches.
>Have meal for 5 ready and on the table by 5 p.m.
>Complete meal: Protein, Carb, Veg and/or
seasonal fruit
>Tonight: Medium-Rare Steaks, caramelized onions and garlic, Broccoli, Butter and Parm Rigatoni for kids, Italian Wedding soup and Cheese Cake for desert.
I always have one soup in the fridge, at least 2 forms of easily accessible protein, and a well stocked staple pantry. Learning to cook makes life so much more enjoyable.
>>677624707
Let me guess. You live in Germany?
>>677624997
>console peasant
>not kale-salad-eating PC master race
Fat couch console fucks.
>>677625003
My gf always considered anything that needs to more than an hour to be prepared unnecessary and a hassle.
Then she keeps wondering why I'm not in the kitchen, while the food slowly simmers or is in the oven. It's not like it's going to run away or touch the stove.
>>677625089
Find a better girlfriend. Your wasting your time with her then. Why would you date a girl who would be boring to spend the rest of your life with?
>>677622979
Looks like someone threw up their cereal on some noodles
>>677624608
But... it wasn't. We can argue all day about the skill involved, but I can confirm she actually made it from scratch.
>>677624705
But that would take 15-20 minutes no? I cook noodles for at least 10 minutes in ragingly boiling water. That wouldn't really work with a microwave no?
It's not like instant noodles, I'm talking about real ones
Cooked some off some chicken, made some yellow rice and topped It with a mango corn salsa. Alone, it's whatever, but presentation is everything.
>>677625062
Yeah, I don't know his name but he's that short/chubby guy with the blond frosted tips?
I think I've only ever seen that episode.
GF tried to make pizza the other day
crust was a bit overdone and a bit to much cheese
sauce was a bit off
>>677624868
Fair enough
>>677624857
you spelled mom wrong
>>677624308
that's english and english people eat the most in the morning and evening, they drink tea in the noon.
>>677625216
Exactly. Low and slow. It aint gonna get a taxi and skip town.
>>677625201
I don't want to be a dick, but are you fat?
>>677625320
Looks weird, but edible at least
>>677625320
It looks pretty good to me dude. Pat her on the back.
>>677625284
>presentation is everything
No it's not, you're not trying to sell it, you're trying to eat it, unless you're in a restaurant, presentation aint shit, it's all about taste.
>>677622764
I don't like that much cheese on my eggs, but compared to the rest of this thread that looks delicious.
>>677625219
We have great sex, she doesn't bitch when I play vidya for 8 hours a day, she likes the music I like and the shows that I like. I have a girlfriend for sex and carrying on my family name. If I could I'd play video games and beat off all day.
>>677624881
Taters? That's a Kartoffelsalat nigga
>>677625207
Yes indeed
>>677624997
>gf
>>677624173
I can never roll them thin enough, they always turn out like linguine. I need to get a reliable past press.
>>677624896
Are you stupid. That's like a 300 calorie breakfast
>turkey bacon 100cal
>Kale 30cal
>eggwhites 100cal
>Green tea 5cal
>>677625282
I know what you are talking about. If my stove top is too full, i will microwave my noodles. Works really well when making lasagna. Frees up space and you can make sure the noodles get boiled to al dente instead of boiling them into a mush.
>>677625529
>kartoffelsalat
>not drenched in vinegar
>>677622865
I guess that's technically chicken noodle soup. WTF is wrong with black people?
>>677625497
Sorry for your life
>>677623797
Stirring confirmed.
>>677623797
>putting al dente rice in sauce is fine dining
>>677625579
Do you have a mixer? Like for cakes and stuff? I think for some of them there's a pasta maker attachment that's cheaper than buying the whole press outright. I've even used it to make super thin wonton wrappers and it works fine.
>>677625579
What would be the main reason for homemade pasta?
Is the extra taste worth the effort?
>>677625637
Isn't that usually mayonnaise? Or is vinegar the original recipe?
>>677625621
>turkey bacon
>egg whites
Making sure your butthole stays nice and tight for your boyfriend, you limp wristed faggot?
>>677625627
Guess then I need to try that one day, I didn't know that it even works with real pasta.
>>677625668
>WTF is wrong with black people?
Have you seen Stockton/Memphis/Ferguson/Houston/Baltimore/Queens?
Go visit any of those places and see if you need to ask that question again.
>>677624224
Nice frozen vegetables nigger.
>>677625711
Idk man
American Germans use vinegar
But I guarantee we're fucking it up
>>677625627
>cooking the pasta sheets in a lasagna
What? Don't you put it in raw and then let it cook in the oven while all layers? Cooks it perfectly ever time.
>>677624362
are we looking at the same thread? This shit is immaculate compared to some of these basic bitches, at least she can do the basics correctly.
>>677625711
Texture is much, much better. I don't know how to explain it exactly but it's just much better.
>>677623320
Shows what you know. We can very little. Most of it are bottled and frozen. Educate yourself faggot.
>>677625497
>carrying on my family name.
yeah we dont need anymore of you taking up space on earth
>>677624362
>boring
>bad
i'd eat the fuck out of those mashed potatos
>>677624224
shit tier mashed potatoes. literally did nothing to the veggies and the steak looks dry as fuck
>>677618248
wow so delicious xD
>>677623021
That combination of flavors....
>>677625870
Just because it's better than shit doesn't make it good.
fucking man up and learn to cook
I can do over 60 recipes from memory myself.
>>677618248
Joke's on you, I'm a vegetarian
>>677625675
It's cool, continue feigning interest in your significant other's menial day to day tasks.
>oh wow hunny, Carol is such a bitch, you're right
>today while cleaning up you found 32 cents?! Guess we should start a savings account! Haha
>>677623779
but then they'd actually have to, you know, do work and wash them
>>677625753
Yep. The microwave is a very useful tool in the kitchen, but most people think it is just for reheating and premade meals. And most wouldnt touch it with a 10 foot pole. It has many purposes, and it is a very vital part of the kitchen.
>>677623767
that's how it is for me. gf goes to work & i stay home, cook & clean etc.. women make it sound so hard
>>677625837
>What? Don't you put it in raw and then let it cook in the oven while all layers? Cooks it perfectly ever time.
That's how I cook my lasagna as well
>>677623118
It's more that fact that they are proud of what they made. And that example pic you have is pretty decent compared to everything else here.
>>677625637
It kinda is drenched in some special mixture combined with vinegar and beef broth. I guess you can't really see it from the picture though.
>>677625711
No. Never mix Kartoffelsalat with mayo.
>>677625906
Oh wow haha great point!
>>677625837
I rarely have the time to use anything other than dry noodles
>>677618888
Nice quads feggit
Here's a meal my girlfriend made me.
It's a pounded out steak rolled around prosciutto and cheese.
>>677626030
Yeah I actually do have one, but use it maybe once a week to reheat something. The noodle thing sounds really weird to me, but I'll try it nonetheless
>>677625711
Even among Germans it's unclear whether Mayonaise or Vinegar is the right fluid to make Kartoffelsalat with.
It's a regional thing.
>>677623947
Heh. I both laughed and vomited in that thread
>>677622719
I laughed
>>677626030
It's not vital, it's a convenience, I've lived for 10 years without one, you don't need one.
>>677625700
I've seen that attachment, might have to pick it up.
>>677625401
Yep, pretty fucking fat right now. I'm the only one in the family that is though. I used to run marathons but stopped, but kept eating like I did. So very bad combo.
>>677626153
Only for dry noodles
>>677626103
That is with dry noodles, the hard sheets you get
>>677623755
The fuck is with those random capitals? Fuck both of those cunts.
>>677626103
That's what I mean, you put the dry noodles in with the layers of cheese sauce, meat mixture, whatever else you want and then it cooks in the oven, the hard sheets cook in the juices.
>>677624857
Looks fresh and tasty as fuck
>>677626199
Then you didnt have a properly stocked kitchen.
>>677623936
My arteries disagree.
>>677625465
I'm trying to sell it to the people I cook for, if I slopped the rice on the place, threw the chicken next to it and put a scoop of the salsa on the side it isn't pleasing to the eye.
You eat with your eyes first, the flavors aren't great, but my gf thinks it's amazing and usually always says wow when she sees the plate I've presented for her.
That's just what I found that works for me. I'm not saying it's for everyone
>>677626217
But we are talking about noodles like pic related right?
>>677625820
Don't worry, the store bought kind in Germany is overladen with mayo, can't be any worse than using vinegar.
>>677625901
I'll have to try it at some point. We used to make home made pasta on occasion, when I was a kid.
But I always had the feeling that it's going to be similar to the mashed potato powder. It's good enough to not warrant the extra work of preparing it yourself.
>>677626050
Right? I don't get why people are upset their wifes want to work.
>>677626091
As I said in the beginning, people seem to disagree with you. But they usually make it unbearable.
>>677626170
That's weird, I never noticed that, but good to know.
>>677624001
This is b8.
>>677626307
>>677626226
Hmm. Ill give it a try
>>677622870
>tfw housewives dont exist anymore
I googled Housewife and the site wasnt pretty. all 50s pictures and feminist slogans over 50s comercials. Housewifes stopped existing a long time ago.
>>677626381
Yes
>>677626318
Haha sure thing buddy. Name one thing a microwave can do that you can't do with other things.It's not about the gadgets you own it's about what you do with what you have.
>>677625621
and the oats? and the almonds? and the goat cheese? and the oil/butter you used to cook the onions/eggs? sugar in your tea?
1 cup of oats alone is 300 calories. the almonds a couple hundred more and the cheese and butter easily brings it to 800-900 calories for fucking breakfast before your other 2 massive meals and 3000 calorie day of "health food"
hope you are lifting bro
>>677626143
I bet that was amazing, it looks weird, but sounds so fucking delicious.
>>677626390
Which region in Germany do you live?
>>677626476
Ok.
>>677622100
All the great chefs are men.
>>677625951
Though it is edible, not really arguing quality but merely that she cooked a successful meal.
>>677624356
It's not as good as the version where you spend 20 fucking minutes in front of your pan stirring, but it can pass as risotto such as the one in anon's picture
>>677626359
Oh I thought you meant you were just cooking for yourself, yeah if it's for others, go all out with that shit. Still, I think taste trumps presentation. "The first bite is with the eyes" yeah but every other one is done with the mouth, no point in looking good if it tastes like shit, and people eating something thats a little uggo will still enjoy it if it tastes amazing.
>>677623430
Yeah you sure can cool.
My gf actually cooks
>>677626535
Can't name one then?
>>677618888
WITNESSED
>>677626671
Fucking disgusting. What a waste of salmon
>>677626143
Here's when she made me jalapeño stuffed chicken wrapped with bacon
>>677626517
Heh, I've spent a lot of time outside of Germany.
But the salad recipe probably comes from near Koblenz, maybe the Ruhrgebiet if I'm not mixing things up.
>>677626143
>>677626723
And here's her stuffed Bell peppers
>>677626577
Is that where we have come as a society? That just making an edible, semi good looking meal is now worthy of praise?
Hot Dogs!!!
>>677626723
looks like two dick tip with dickcheese leaking out.
>>677626720
Bitch that salmon was cooked perfectly
>>677624001
I'll use this b8 as a chance to educate.
http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/poorest-list/the-worlds-10-fattest-countries-in-2015/?view=all#
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_obesity
Fucking women.
>>677624707
Is that just a whole big ass chunk of lettuce with ranch on it?
>>677626695
I dont feel the need to argue with you about this.
>>677626030
>i cook noodles in the microwave
>its professional
i cooked in fine dining for 4 years and we never used a fucking microwave. it is totally useless.
>>677626671
Were you running away as you took this picture?
>>677626794
Ehm, yes? I thought that was pretty evident with the whole special snowflake movement.
>>677626619
Okay, but that's how you actually make risotto which is time consuming and takes time to master. I could get a microwaveable risotto, but that doesn't change how you actually make a proper risotto.
>>677624356
>equating consistency to tatse
And to think I was on your side.
>>677626772
Oh. I made mine the schwäbischer style
>>677626853
But I want to know what I'm missing out on with the oh so great microwave.
>>677626480
Really doubt someone who doesn't lift would waste their time eating that way
>>677626720
Not that anon but what's wrong with it? I mean it wouldn't get a michelin star but I'd eat it, looks delicious
Cook for your gf not the other way around faggots
ITT everyone tells everyone else they can't cook
>>677626252
This guys knows where its at, banana and ketchup
>>677626966
im just picturing some obese faggot that thinks that he can eat 3 breakfasts in the morning as long as he takes the yolks out of the eggs and puts kale in it
>>677626794
Not really but amongst this competition she shouldn't be shit on by someone who's projecting childhood resentment.
>>677626945
On the off chance you also happen to be a Schwab', thank you for Maultaschen!
>>677626954
Its main purpose is too free up space.
>>677625003
Seasoning is important. You have to know who you are cooking for, and what flavor combinations they like. That can be a real challenge.
>>677627094
...bananas?
>>677626935
Consistency and mouth feel have a shit load to do with how you perceive the taste of the food. I don't want retards on my side so it's cool.
>>677627120
How? What can you remove from your kitchen, after adding a microwave?
>>677627120
By taking up counter space?
>>677618248
ive always taken those posts as a joke
prove me it aint
>>677625038
SRIRACHA DETECTED
>>677627197
I meant it frees up space on your stove top. This way you dont waste burners on something that can be done in the microwave
>>677627197
Your oven.
Remove the oven, purchase a toaster oven and microwave and you're golden.
