Any of you fags been in prison? What crime? How long for? What was your farthole treated to?
bump
i did federal time for unauthorized shitposting back in '08
I stole and I robbed and I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.
>asks about prison
>posts county jail pic
>>677606496
Faggot
from prev thread
>>677606474
Made my morning.
>>677605890
On a scale of 1 how potato do you have to be to end up in prison?
>>677606665
And I never got caught neither...
>>677605890
9 years, false rape accusation
>>677607072
Details man, details.
>>677607072
>>677607144
dubs demands it!
>>677605890
3 months. Having drugs
>>677607072
ROFL, everyone is innocent.
18 months for Violent Disorder, served 10, (UK system of half, but delayed for investigation shite) a few years back
One time I got locked in the bathroom at a restaurant for like 10-15 mins, the first minute was hell and I thought I would die in there, but I got used to it and to be honest I found it weird when I got out, like it took some time to readjust
>>677607299
How did you get caught?
>>677607593
Whatd you do?
Bomb threat. Mistook for a gang members, guards beat the fuck out of me. Got those niggers fired and shut the place down to youth. My bootyhole wasn't touched. That really surprisingly never happens.
Walnut Grove Correctional Facility in Mississippi.
>>677607961
How long did you serve?
>>677607961
were they any walnuts there?
>>677608111
11 months on a 6 month sentence. Judge forgot I was in there.
I was imprisoned in 2000 for being part of the elite backer group known as anomalous. Luckily they had a computer in the library so I hacked into the prison mainframe and sceduled myself for release.
>>677608192
Whats day to day life like?
When I was 15 I went to a youth prison for 6 months
>>677608275
Dickhead
>>677608347
>>677608347
What for?
10yrs
I brushed my teeth with aronal in the evening
>>677608373
Backtracing your IP now kiddo.
2 Years in jail for a drug charge, its not as bad in prison as everyone thinks, its like going to your friends house. dont be arrogant and act like a geust, dont try to come over hard cause there are people who will always be harder than you, respect everyone and everyone will respect you
>>677608308
Pretty boring unless you have a decent cell mate. Food is shit, but you can get some overpriced snacks on canteen. Education is the most fun. Definitely do that and get some books to read back in the cell.
>>677605890
Not prison, but I went to jail for 30 days due to 2 DUIs, and I was at a federal ICE facilty for about 2 weeks because I was brought here illegally as a child. I'm getting another 30 days later today for driving with a revoked license, so I'll see you faggots later maybe, I might have to go build that wall this time.
>>677608540
Tell me my address, I'll meet you outside
How have I never been? 3x separate felonies and 4x arrestee. Fucked a Tennessee cop, aka bird nose in the ass...resisting arrest, tampering with evidence and marijuana possession. 4-12 years but a judge as a attorney will get you one year probation.
4 months and 8 months probation for possessing cp.
Jail was the best time of my life (Netherlands)
>>677605890
2days for amateur facial surgery
bailed myself out, case closed after victim's statement
not guilty
>>677608591
So is it just some like minded criminals hanging out? Nothing like OZ?
6 years armed robbery
>>677608607
So they let you go from immigration and customs?
>>677608839
Sick bastard. Did they fuck you?
>>677605890
OP
5 years for faggotery
>>677608954
What did you rob ?
>>677608953
It's nothing like fucking anything on tv. I viewed it like summer camp as a kid.
>>677608347
>When I was 15 I went to a youth prison for 6 months
I was in for 60 days when I was 15. Something to do with "unauthorized use of a motor vehicle" or something
>>677608977
I got out on a $5,000 bond, but they're probably going to take it away if ICE gets me later today. I don't have felonies and the US is actually pretty lax on wetbacks like myself, I've been here pretty much all of my life so I doubt that I will get deported.
Don't judge me, I already hate myself enough.
>>677608426
Car theft, breaking in houses, robbed 5 people, close to 1k euro's worth of shoplifting, using and selling soft and hard drugs. Basically how it went down was that I ran away from home and stole the car together with 5 other people and all we did for a few months was just stealing and selling drugs to survive, while also consumin shittons of drugs at the same time
>>677609183
You have to go back
>>677609189
Sounds good actually
>>677608639
bird nose in the ass? Wat
>>677609037
No, they just liked me, gave me free stuff and cooked for me. All I had to do was be nice and don't tell a fucking thing you did
>>677605890
4 years for burglary, i was in minimum, so I basically read and worked 4 years away. It was chill, but boring af. Plus i never got to play skyrim as a result.
>>677608275
>>677609468
What did you say when they asked what you did?
>>677607619
That's heavy man
>>677609294
Yeah yeah. My deep dislike of Muslims came from the time I was at the ICE facility. The whole place was half spics and half muslims/africans
Statutory rape and cp possession. 23 years
>>677609584
White collar computer fraud... they didn't understand shit about computers
>>677609531
Did you learn your lesson or would commit again?
>>677609683
How old was the kid you raped?
>>677609315
It was pretty fun while it lasted, being there wasnt even bad, shit was jokes, laughed my ass off every single day I was there with people I befriended. When I got out I decided to get on the right path because it gets pretty fucking boring if youre there constantly. The last thing I did was stealing someones phone at school which somehow ended up in it being confiscated by the police after I got arrested because I was running around covered in blood with no shoes on in the middle of the night asking people where I was lol
>>677605890
>4 years
>16 counts of felony burglary, and trafficking stolen items
>Was a heroin addict, and got my fix by breaking into cars. I eventually got caught because I would pawn the GPS's, and pawn shops are the worst way to get rid of stolen goods for obvious reasons.
Rape isn't nearly as prevalent as you would be lead to believe.
It's racially segregated as fuck.
Don't call anyone a bitch, a snitch, a punk, or a liar. You will be forced to fight that person even if neither of you want to fight. If you refuse to fight them you will be forced to move to another pod. The term they use is "show up, or roll up" As in show up to the fight, or roll up your cot, and gtfo.
If you are disrespectful, steal, or do pretty much anything bad you will either be subject to a "chin check" (you getting hit in the chin really hard typically resulting in being knocked out), or a "stomp" (multiple people beating the shit out of you) If you piss off multiple races it's called a "rainbow stomp" because all the different colors get a piece of you.
Oh you HAVE to shower every single day (at least that was a rule for us "woods" or white people) If you get caught not showering every day, usually by smelling bad you will receive a chin check.
I can't think of anything else atm. Ask me question if you want.
Did 95 years for killing a bunch of people
>>677609933
You raped a 13 year old?
>>677609792
Well i quit smoking meth, got married, a steady job, and i am finishing parole early.
>>677610235
yes i did
>>677610319
Nice!
>>677609933
Continue
>>677609933
Female or male??? Why??
>>677607644
They came to my house. I was kinda expecting it but yea shit was kinda tough
5 years for rape. I told the girl she was attractive and she called the cops
>>677610097
How about those docos where you get ordered to attack the other race thru little rolled up orders and if you dont attack you get killed etc, all bullshit?
In the military I got 90 days of confinement follows by 60 days hard labor with no pay. Similar to being a prisoner I'd say so.
>>677610319
Good job.
>>677610319
Someone you know? Would you rape again?
I killed like 80 kids for being liberal cunts and got 25 years. Norwegian prison system is a joke. I have a 3 room cell to myself, computer access and PlayStation 4. Ama
>>677610454
female of course. and because i had the irresistible sexual urge to do something illegal
>>677610526
That's gang stuff
You don't have to join a gang if you don't want to.
The gang of your race WILL try to enlist you though. They will be incredibly nice to you, and make you think they are your friends. Do you all kinds of favors until you "owe" them. Just kindly decline that kind of stuff. If you tell people you just want to keep your head down, and serve your time they will typically respect that.
>>677610640
i didn't really know her. if i would rape again? if she was hot enough of course
>>677608607
We'll be waiting for you to return, Anon.
>>677610319
actual rape or just statutory
did she struggle?
>>677606474
Kek
Spent 10 years in state prison.
Attempted murder.
My farthole wasn't bothered because I'm not scared and I'm not white.
>>677611014
actual rape. of course she struggled but me being a fully grown man meant her struggles were futile
>>677610796
She was a random kid?
>>677611134
i had seen her a few times but otherwise yes i did not know her
>>677608434
Nooooo
>>677611103
Muh nigga!
As an Serial rapist. How much respect would I get /?
>inb4 pedi
>victims are between 17-50
>>677611118
you're a terrible person. tell me more
did you make her cum?
>>677611214
if i'd know you i'd fuck you up the way you can see at the end of the latest walking dead episode
>>677611103
I'm this guy and you
>>677611311
would get sodomized with a broom and have to spend most of your time in solitary.
>>677610724
Is this you??
>>677611406
Yes of course.
>>677611366
no i didn't keep in mind she was 13
>>677610796
>time to go to school now, jimbob
>>677611311
They don't like rapists, and woman beaters in there.
If anyone finds out what you did you will receive at the very least a stomp, and the guards won't do shit about it. Well they will put the pod on lockdown after your head explodes on the floor.
13 years for aggravated manslaughter. Was a bouncer - drunk guy hit me in the face - I gave him a pretty tame 1-2 and he fell over, hit his head on the pavement and couldn't be resuscitated. Lost my profession, now living off the government cheques because I find it hard to get a job. No licensed establishments want me as a bouncer because I've essentially been blacklisted...and I don't want to work the hardcore gang-owned bars that have offered me work. Lifes pretty shit at the moment, but I will soldier on ey.
>>677611554
When I was in max the guards would tell us and help arrange for jumpings and beat downs if someone did something to a woman or child.
They have kids and moms too lol.
>>677611865
>yuropoor detected.
>>677605890
5 years so far.
I didn't even do anything.
>>677611867
Exactly. That's why I said they will put your pod on lockdown AFTER the damage has already been done.
Nobody wants to think about if their loved ones got raped, or about some one who beats the shit out of their girl. So they systematically exterminate those kinds of people.
>>677612057
>dindu nuffin
>>677610097
You call attention to something people frequently overlook. The common myth is that prison is full of bad asses. The reality is that prison is full of gigantic fuck-ups. Imagine your worse friend, someone who borrows shit and never returns it, steals from you, lies to your face, gossips, puts your business in the street.
Prison is full of those people and they need to be chin checked to keep their stupid impulses in line.
>>677605890
my whole life is a prison
>>677612169
Gotta love the double standards, considering its a zoo for human scum in the first place.
I was in Westville Correctional Facility in Westville Indiana.
I was a construction worker, 22 years old, thinking i knew everything and acting like the world was mine.
We were building a Menards, well, you know those barns they have out back for surplus materials and shit? We were finishing up the rack system, only my crew was back there, 4 people in this giant warehouse.
We needed to lift beams for up for another row of shelves, big heavy beams. As my coworker stood on the ledge, i lifted up beams on the forklift, he couldnt reach them and told me to pull forward, but i told him to step on the forks and "get them your damn self". He stepped on my forks about 40 feet in the air to grab a 90lb aluminum beam, as i thought he was finished, i put it in reverse, i didnt know he was still on the forks.
He fell down 40 feet and had a 90 pound bar of metal crash ontop of him. He was nearly dead, a fountain of blood, i dont have all the details but i know he is still alive.
My crew started screaming at me, berating me, throwing tools at me, and i snapped. I climbed into the forklift and charged at them, and on my way out of the area, i forked the port-a-potty and caused another injury.
Before i could even get home, i was pulled over and arrested. Served 9 years.
You wake up at 6am, or go to solitary, which is hell beyond hell.
After role call in the morning at 6am, you sit around in your small cell with absolutely nothing to do until 9am, and you get a small apple juice, slice of toast, and oatmeal. Do nothing all day until 4pm, they bring you a sack lunch that is barely enough to fill you.
at 7pm they bring you dinner, so disgusting, that my retarded cousin Rupert could teach them a few things. After that, you sleep, and repeat.
Prison and jail is not like people say it is. I was not once threatened with rape, or physical harm. They welcomed me and made me feel less scared, while still being rude inmates of course.
The real scare is the fact that you are caged.
>>677612279
>>677612169
Dude when I was in Solitary, the doors malfunctioned and we all started beating the shit out of the guy who was there for molesting his niece. Best part is the guards one by one took us off him, allowing the rest of us to beat the shit out of him for a good 60 more seconds than they should have let us.
Jokes on us we all got more solitary time.
The only time guards are nice to those sick fucks is if they have a lot of money and can bribe the fuck out of everyone.
>>677612279
s a d b o y
>>677612180
Yeah, I'm the guard
>>677611373
shut up you cuck you wouldn't do shit
Guys, what's the hierarchy in prison? Which criminals get it the worst and which ones the best?
I mean in the pen, not minimum security
>>677612389
Chris Rock said prison is the only place where an ax murderer looks at a rapist and says "YOURE SICK!"
>>677612396
i can give full details about my stay if you guys request. 9 years of experiences, i have some tales.
But yea, the inmates like another anon said, are just fuck ups, not street thug criminals, and i was in a ROUGH part of Indiana.
>>677612489
I can tell you one thing: skates and rays are basically at the bottom of the food chain in prison.
>>677612396
Bullshit. Unless you are leaving out some major detail you didndo 9 years for a construction accident. You just didn't.
>>677612169
Mfw beat down
I should be deemed a hero.
After all I did acts those cowards only dream of.
And besides,if opportunity presents it self. I'd rape in prison. Inmate gaurd. Dont matter,im an equal opportunity kind of guy.
IM sure id be beat to death after the gaurd,but the rush would be worth it.
Kidnapped a 9 years old girl off the street, took her to my home. The plan was to play with her for a week or so, slowly torturing her to death while fucking her several times, and then shooting myself in the head (I was sure I couldn't get away with it). When we arrived home I started panicking and chickened out. I took her to the police station and turned myself in.
Luckily I never told them what I was planning to do, because then I heard the girl's name for the first time. Turned out she was the daughter of a good colleague of mine, we often played pranks on each other. I managed to play the whole thing off as a joke to scare my coworker. Still got 2 years probation and got fired, but could have been 10+ years if I don't get so lucky.
>>677612781
>My crew started screaming at me, berating me, throwing tools at me, and i snapped. I climbed into the forklift and charged at them, and on my way out of the area, i forked the port-a-potty and caused another injury.
>>677612489
Its not like that.
Any hierarchy is loose at best. Basically this
You'll be fine
>you are black or Hispanic
> are in a gang
>have money
>have common sense
> respect others
>and have the balls to slap someone in the mouth if someone tries you in front of a lot of people.
>and mind your own fucking business
You will not be if
>you are a white pussy. Not white, but a white pussy.
>did something to a woman and child
>lack common sense
>borrow from others
>gamble
>do drugs
>get into debt
>and are scared to fight once in a blue.
>>677612781
with the witnesses i had, and the altercation because the coworker and i, it was seen as attempted manslaughter. Ontop of forking a portapotty and breaking the ribs of another worker, i was given 14 years do 9 with good behavoir, 4 years of probation, and 200 hours of anger management classes.
>>677612396
Kek that's hilarious.
Even better you posted a forklift pic.
>>677605890
attempted murder.
I was a juvenile but trust me, it was prison.
I never got raeped, but there was this white kid named Jeff that was a cumdumpster for every nigger in there.
I actually got used to it. The food was great - mostly wings and honey smacks and tasty garbage like that. Very fucking boring.
Some kids didn't have it so easy. I played up the psycho image to the hilt. Other kids got beaten pretty bad.
>>677608639
sounds like your a snitch to me.
>>677612478
why dont you give me your adress and find out? :)
>>677612961
>attempted manslaughter
top kek m8
You attempted to accidentally kill someone? By definition manslaughter is committed without malice or intent.
>>677613202
30a kirkdale road Queensland Australia
>>677612435
>Jokes on us we all got more solitary time
Ya that's typically the way she goes.
Guards will typically let you do stuff knowing damn good, and well they are going to punish you for doing it later.
>>677607374
Not on 4chan tho, here we dont lie about bs like that. If he said he was a rapist i would doubt him more.
>>677613313
Do you want some pizzas anon?
>>677613313
i also need a picture of you pointing the middlefinger at camera so i wont assaulting the guy you still own money to
23.5 months; Centre County CF in Bellefonte, PA. Was in processing same time as Jerry Sandusky. Not many blacks or Hispanics; 70-80% white at all times, on all cell blocks. Got some tattoos, beat up some scrawny pedophiles, and harassed Penn State weed & dui holdovers. Good times.
>>677613313
id love a cheese pizza anon
>>677608584
This
>7.5 yrs for child molestation
>>677605890
I've been falsely put in custody for 24 hours more times than I can count.
Never real jail though.
>>677605890
what's the difference between prison and jail ?
>>677612916
>Get into debt
Not always. I typically had 00's on my books at least once a month (come from a privileged white family, and mom would put money on my books)
The chicanos didn't mind me getting into debt with them because they knew I was going to pay them back sooner, or later. It's when you go into debt with no way to pay them off is when you're fucked.
>>677613567
Jail is fun; prison is not.
>>677613567
In the US jail is for those awaiting trial or those serving less than a year..
Prison is for those convicted of a crime for which the punishment is more than 365 days. My first stint was 366 days in state prison.
>>677612396
Here's some of my stories.
There was this guy named Turbo, scrawny 40 somthing year old in there for taking heroin from Chigago to Gary. We all hated him, but he wasnt worth the time in solitary.
One day Turbo was doing the usual, screaming about how he was innocent, and openly reading his letters from his attorney like they were the commandments, pacing back and forth, yelling the words, ect.
One of the friends i made, Skaggs, decided to rip the letter out of Tubos hands, and we found out how he got his nickname.
Turbo is about 120 pounds, 5 foot 6, and looks very frail, but when you piss him off, he moves faster than Bruce Lee, no real idea how to fight, but damn he was fast. He began swinging his arms as he was spinning in circles, and caught Skaggs on his temple, knocking him out.
At this point Turbo is screaming a dominate yell, talking shit to people and acting like a badass.
Turbo got drug to the showers and was beaten within an inch of his life and had a V05 shampoo bottle lodged in his ass for calling one of the black guys a bitch.
>>677613803
>you never go turbo
>>677612396
we had a guy named Boomer who used to talk about how he was a star child, born from the star of Sirius, and how he was the real Jesus. Believe it or not, for the year we spent with him, we did nothing but fortify his belief.
My first day in prison, walking to my cell, about 6 inmates are at their cell doors chanting the tune to that one Eminiem song. NAH NAH NAH NAHNAH, NAH NAH NAH NAAAAH, one of his older ones that was vulgar and shit.
What i expected to be horrifying, was one of the funner days of my life, hearing people ages 18-30 chanting a rap songs beat as i walk in.
>>677614193
kek
>>677613411
Absolutely
>>677613803
FREE TURBO
>>677611406
Are you literally retarded?
He was clearly referencing a particular, famous mass shooting, and the bit about the Norwegian prison system should have been a big hint which one he meant.
>>677611865
Your fault.
>>677613684
Disagree, jail sucked. Prison was far better.
>>677613803
Turbo is a fucking beast. You are just faggots for ganging up on him.
60 months originally caught a felony home invasion. Took a deal and had it reduced to burglary. I cant complain the home invasion had a mandatory 10 year stretch on it. Got out 3 years later.
currently doing my time of 40 months.
i'm in for 14 months now.
blackmaling
>>677614599
Checked. Also story pls.
>>677613498
>harassed Penn State weed & dui holdovers.
You sound like a real gem.
>>677614520
yep!
In jail you got the people in for small drug related offenses, mostly drug dealer, manufactueres, people who get into fights, shit that they wont be serving alot of time for. Jail fucking SUCKED! and it was so cold, they kept that shit at like 58 degrees.
Prison, you got the people who fucked up bad and regret it most of the time. Identity theft, robbery, grand theft auto, shit like that. id say in the prison i was at, 70% were non violent, but just pissed off people that you shouldnt agitate.
>TDC for 3 years
>transporting H
>my ass hole was never touched
I would have more then likley been a punk in there considering im 6'0 and 125lbs. Thankfully the pecker woods had my back
>>677614599
>learn how to spell the crime for which you are supposedly serving time.
Do you mean extortion?
>>677614692
don't think so, sorry
>>677614784
Which unit? I did 2 at Coffield followed by a dime at Eastham.
>>677613222
>By definition manslaughter is committed without malice or intent.
No, though killing without malice will generally be manslaughter the term is broader than that.
>>677612692
Y3s, details please
>>677614875
Blackmail is an act, often a crime, involving unjustified threats to make a gain (commonly money or property) or cause loss to another unless a demand is met.[1][2] Essentially, it is coercion involving threats to reveal substantially true or false information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates, or threats of physical harm or criminal prosecution.
>>677613803
>Turbo got drug to the showers and was beaten within an inch of his life
Dragged
>>677612836
>You kidnapped my daughter?
>It's just a prank bro, just a prank.
>>677614583
He did annoying shit all day.
One day Turbo decided to join me on my walk, in the block you have an open area to eat, watch TV, shower, ect, and its about 50 feet on all 4 sides.
Well, it was common to walk from wall to wall to get a little excersize, and to count each lap as a means of passing time, sometimes with a tennis ball.
Anywho, Turbo started walking with me, talking about his case and asking what he should say to the judge when he writes him, i gave him some advice, and he thanked me by later giving me his lunch.
This caused some trouble.
Turbo was then called my bitch, i laughed and he turned to me and said "you help me just to hurt me?" which fucking killed me inside, i died laughing and he flipped out on the guy who called my bitch, going into detail about how a bitch is the wrong venaculaur when refering to a man who returns a favor.
Needless to say, Turbo went Turbo again when he started getting lippy and was mocked. He began running towards another inmate, a guard passing by ran in, tackled him down, as more gaurds rushed behind.
All Turbo wanted to do was explain what happened so he wouldnt go to solitary, so we tried struggling away from them.
He was tazered for about 2 full minutes, and when the gaurds got off of him to lift him up, he ran to his cell, slammed the door shut, and hid under his blanket. He was tazed again, and eventually taken to the Nurse and Solitary for 2 weeks.
>>677615242
Considering why he was in jail that sentence could be correct
Tip if dont want to be raped in prision. Get aids before you get in there
>>677615405
>Turbo went Turbo again
Kek
Somehow I feel sympathy for the guy even though he's nuts
>>677615630
Also don't wipe
Pretty much just smoked, ate, read books and watched TV for 6 months. Got high on suboxone a few times. Weed a few times. Had an extra thick bed, never ran out of smokes, ate a ton of ramen and junk food. Drank a ton of coffee. Bullshitted with other people and meet a ton of crazy mother fuckers. That's at lower security though where you are only locked down 9 hours per day.
>>677605890
yeah for a day and a half in solitary confinement over a DUI they couldnt prove. I cried my eyes out. Other inmates werent bad but the COs are the fucking worst.
>>677612477
Kek. got me
>>677609468
Why are you online? Wouldn't they block you from using the Internet after what you did?
>>677616014
RIGHT!?
They treat you less than human dude, its fucked up. The inmates are honestly friendly for the most part, because theyre just as alone and upset about losing freedom. The CO's see you as taxdollar waste and treat you like garbage.
OP here . Good thread, thanks all for sharing
>>677616014
good for you that nobody saw you crying
>>677615837
like they care about shit when they fuck you in the ass
>>677616279
And if they had?
>>677616205
yeah fuck em. and I was in there over a holiday, heard them talking how they were getting tripple time, yet were doing jack shit. TBH it kinda opened my eyes on how fucked up the Jail and Prison system is. Also I was assulted by a CO over a piece of paper and couldnt do anything about it.
>>677616279
Everyone saw me cry. I heard people were making fun of e because of it.
Got good at chess and spades in there
>>677616279
you forget that inmates are humans too.
we had people cry, grown ass men cry, and nobody did anything. Everyone wants out, nobody wants to be there, people are angry in prison/jail because theyre sad. Theyre not just mean angry people who deserve to be cagged. at least not a majority.
>>677616465
dont show weakness in prision
>>677616504
Assurlted why?
>>677616029
Internet access here almost holy. Can't touch someones internet. Also because everything here is digital.
I killed someone trips gets details (no faggot shit)
>>677616901
Do they monitor what you btowse?
>>677616933
Trips
How do Asians survive in american prisons?
>>677616933
check'em
>>677616933
111 here
>>677616670
you've been watching too much TV.
>>677616738
I was asked to hand over a piece of paper and it accidently flew out my hand and hit him. He got up and started choking me while shoveing me into dirty laundry bin. He was yelling shit at me about how im worthless and shit. Then I was harrassed the whole time I was trying to get changed. This was after I was about to get bailed out but the person doing it decided not to last second. Was fucked up. When left I asked his name and no one would give it to me. They kept asking if I wanted a extra assult charge. It was a piece of paper for fucks sake. Fucking guy was getting triple time to play solitaire. Also heard he was talking shit about me to other prisoners the next day. Salty as fuck.
>>677617084
they dont
>>677617084
Amazing kung-fu skills
>>677616933
Why don't you stop being a faggot and just tell us
>>677616933
Trips plz
>>677616933
Check'em
>>677617009
They did before i got caught, but they tapped me for an other crime. They took my pc to investigate that crime and found my stash. Now they aren't allowed to monitor me. If they do they can't use it as evidence.
And also I don't watch it anymore... it disgust me now.
>>677616933
Just say it or fuck off you stupid faggot
Attention fags like you ruin the board
Not trips
>>677616933
3 same numbers in a row plox Rawrr xDDD
>>677605890
one night for having made a graff piece on a train
>tfw I lost my virginity in prison
>>677614360
I bet the Dumbass doesn't even know about columbine... in case it wasn't bait he's referencing Dylan from the combine shootings
The guy who tried to murder me when I was seven got tried as an adult, when he came up for parole they denied it and even ruled that he couldn't come up for parole ever again. He was only 17 I think when he committed the murder, but he was crazy and retarded.
I wish I could talk to him.
>>677609543
>expecto patronum
oh shit
>>677616933
eeeee trips.......... fuck off
>>677617407
You can't lose your viginity to the same sex
>>677617466
Murder you how? Do you remember it?
>>677616933
Check my trips
where's the bbc pics?
>>677617447
gr8 b8 m8>>677617466
Hey americucks, cant you just tell the judge that you're a transgenderfag and get send to women jail?
>>677617741
id assume youd need a doc to back you up there. if you got one on your side great otherwise youll need to convince one that you're a transgendered.
>>677617741
I saw multiple guys with tits come in
I did 1 day in Sydney
shit changed my life for eva
>yes
>online child sex offences
>2 years
>nothing, rape isnt a common thing in prisons here. I guess it'd be more common in countries which are more prone to sending you away for a long ass time
I used the time to get my head right and get fit. Going there was a good thing for my development, but it's fucking annoying when trying to get a decent job
>>677616933
Cancer post
Kill yourself
>>677617895
Silver? What for, being drunk?
>>677610731
Was it good?
>>677617951
Whats online child offence mean? Downloading CP?
>>677617741
I would much rather be housed with niggers than tranny niggers who have been raped by every one of their single-mom whore boyfriends since age 1. Tranny thugs are as bad as they come, plus they don't fight fair, they carry razors. Also, this isn't Eurostan, they don't house trannies with real women like on television.
>>677617951
I can only imagine. Does it come up in background checks? I dont have a felony but ive got a open case that made me lose my current job. now I cant get a job till my case is over, which will be a while because they want to get my on all 3 charges and arent willing to plea.
>>677617712
here, real prison life
>>677617971
>>677613222
Means he assaulted someone with intent to harm or injure, without being aware of the chosen method may very well kill someone.
>>677618113
Nah, getting underage girls to do stuff for me on cam
>>677608852
Amateur facial surgery???
Drug dealing
>>677618187
Yeah, but not all jobs ask for them and it's not available unless i agree to it. So i basically just applied for every job i could til i got my current one. No one there knows ive been to prison, and im well liked but there's no real chance for career progression.
Sounds alot like when I got an evaluation at a mental hospital
I wasn't strapped down or inhumane shit like in movies
Just sitting around, watching TV, reading books
We Werner allowed anything sharp, or metal
They didn't even allow us to use hard plastic utensils
Pretty relaxing, better than the outside world sometimes
>Implying a 4chan faggot will get out alive out of prison
>>677617588
Oh yeah, I remember every detail. With a knife, that's how. That's how he killed my classmate a year later. He was a friend of mine before, and he told me he'd found some stray kittens and they were in his room. Since we were neighbors and friends I didn't recognize how lame that sounded, and I went with him up to his room. There were no kittens and I started to get scared, he said they were in his closet and he'd go get them. I saw him rummaging around in the closet, saw enough to tell there were no fucking kittens, saw something glinting like metal by his hand.
I ran to the door (which he'd locked) and he intercepted me, picked me up by my neck and threw me back across the room against his bed. I started crying, and he stared at me, and then came over and hugged me, and he started crying too, promised he would never ever hurt me, unlocked the door and let me walk home.
>>677617985
That, drug possession, missing a juge appointment, disturbing public peace
got myself out with a 140$ fine and a night of boredom
>>677618512
You'd be surprised how many btards are in prison. I met 5.
>>677618480
yeah man I feel you. good luck m8.
>>677618483
*weren't
fucking phone autocorrect
>>677606665
may as well kill thineself
>>677610724
I'm believing you are or are pretending to be this guy
Never been to prison but I was arrested when I was 15.
While my state "seals" records for under age arrests, police who pull me over or any district attorney or government official can see it if they want. Which means anyone who knows someone can see it.
>>677618829
He's the guy that ruined the island summer camp right?
>>677618615
I found out later that he told his grandparents he was sick and needed counseling and they ignored him. They moved to a subdivision a mile away, and a year later he took a girl from my class who lived at the subdivision (same age I was when he planned to kill me) into the woods to play hide and seek. He stabbed her 40+ times in the chest and abdomen, with a knife. Probably not the same knife, but who knows. He just kept stabbing even after she bled out I think.
>>677618961
yeah, killed a total of 81 people on that day, 77 of them were teens on a summer camp
>>677607374
>ROFL, everyone is innocent.
There is no innocence, only degrees of guilt.
>>677618340
So one of them complained and they tracked your ip kinda shit?
>>677618673
Thanks bro
>>677619079
Thanks for the clarification
a week in Kane County IL, another in Cook IL for fleeing on a misdemeanor warrant.
Honestly, cook isn't that bad. if you got money on the books, you can get whatever you want.
Kane is a shit hole.
>>677612279
FeelsBadMan
>>677618483
Ended up in one of those bins for a few weeks. Mostly sat around watching Wonder Showzen and swapping stories with cum dumpsters. Crazy as all fuck but damn entertaining you know?
Withdrawls and 24/7 patrols were the worst really. It finally convinced me to clean my shit up. If being locked up is even remotely the same I'd rather be a boring ass faggot.
>>677619113
Yeah, pretty much. Pushed it too far with one of them, she told her parents, popo got involved and a search warrant was executed on my house 2 months after i last spoke to her.
Seized everything that couldve been used to store data, the court ordered my pc be destroyed after i was sentenced as well, just to really rub it in.
Prison was pretty easy. Bought a 360 and just played a lot of vidya in between working out and doing my prison job. Worst thing by far was the boredom.
>>677608852
lmfao, this is the best story I've seen. Please, tell more!
>>677613803
>and had a V05 shampoo bottle lodged in his ass for calling one of the black guys a bitch.
>>677608584
true but you also need to be ready to fight if someone gives you attitude.
fucking balancing act.
>several times juvenile, county and state. mostly for drugs.
12 counts of murder in the first degree
14 counts of armed theft of Federation property
22 counts of piracy in high space
18 counts of fraud
37 counts of rape ...
... and one moving violation
>>677619908
Moving violation? You sick piece of shit, you deserved to go to jail.
>>677619079
He killed 77 in total, 69 on Bastöya and 8 in Regjeringskvartalet.
My cousin was one of them.
>>677620176
Liar, nobody got shot on fucking Bastøy, as that is a prison.
>>677618629
wth, I always thought /b/tards are whit stupidass edgy teens
>>677620558
Naw I'm in the usa's AF I found out 4 out of 20 of my flight is confirmed b tards and I have my suspicions of 1 weird ass kid
>>677620558
Mostly that and druggies
>>677620096
>Moving violation? You sick piece of shit, you deserved to go to jail.
It's OK, Charlie... I've got an "angle".
I went to jail for "perjury" for saying that OP was a straight man.
somebody tried to rob me, had brass knuckles, beat him with them, 90 days.
>>677621806
The fuck? Are you a swede or something?
>>677621806
svennejävel
I killed my gf and wen to jail.
>Reason; I asked for direction and some white ass mf beat me with his brass knuckles. GOt pissed and killed gf
>be 14
>be with my cousin (he was 15)
>bored af and decide to go to a empty factory
>we climb over a gate
>going on the terrain and spot a door
>hear dogs and hear them come
>fuck this im out
>we run and climb over fence
>my cousin lost his phone and we try to go back
>police arrives and we get taken with us
>thrown in cell for 17 hours
>feel raped
>never again
>>677618982
Sorry for you fucked up experience, anon.
I hate stories of kids crying, I wonder how it's affected the person you are today
Went a year and a half for armed robbery, butthole remained untouched.
never, just jail cells. best mate has 156 criminal convictions though so has spent 15 years inside altogether. his stories about prison are enough that i ensure i never end up in one.
>>677608591
>Food is shit, but you can get some overpriced snacks on canteen
i really need to know this. been wondering it for ages: people in the uk, what are my chances of getting hold of fresh fruit, tins of tuna and maybe a few non-starchy vegetables? specifically i need these things, too complicated to explain why. what do i need in order to acquire these things every day from the first day i'm there?
I was put in jail for one night in Brisbane. I smashed a Telstra retail store sliding door with a giant rock at night. Ended up shitting myself and running away, only to be tackled by some ratty cunt and everyone calling the cops. I was pretty much held down by 3 people till some dude just came by and said they should just let me go, so they did. Cops found me later and showed a CCTV video of me smashing the store. Stayed in a cell overnight, you get two shitty cushions which is your bed, a blanket and two radio stations to listen to. Next morning woke up some mad scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages and corn flakes and juice. Then was put into a cell with some other dudes, talked a lot of shit and went on a trial where my lawyer got me out on bail. Later that day, I checked myself into hospital... Stayed there for a month in the mental ward to make mental illness help my case. Ended up having to pay for the damages which is $3000. Still currently paying it off. Reason why I smashed the store in the first place was because I used to work for Telstra and found out how much corporate scams they're actually doing.
>>677620176
One of the campers or one at the government building?
>>677621806
>>677622324
do I smell kek?
>>677623820
Mad as in good?
2 years for battery iii and terroristic threatening.
Pointed at my ex and accidentally hit her on the forehead with my finger while saying "I'm going to kick your ass"
>>677624090
Yeah it was awesome. I didn't eat the cornflakes because there was no bowl and I didn't understand wtf to do with them. So I had to give back my tray of food including the uneaten corn flakes and milk. The other people I was in the cell later with explained how to make the tiny cereal box into a bowl. It's still beyond me. There was some creepy dude in there with us too who was missing an eye, and he wouldn't speak to any of us. I had the impression he's in some sort of mafia.
>>677624407
Always loved that "terrorist threat" law
>>677619102
wise words
>>677619102
WE ARE ALL INNOCENT! WE ARE ALL INNOCENT!
>>677623091
Thanks man. I don't know - I'm crazy. I can't know if I still would have turned out crazy without that experience. I have DID (or MPD, whatever you want to call it) and I'm pretty sure it's from that. I developed it pretty soon after. I don't get upset talking about it because all those feelings go to "someone" else, I've totally dissociated from the event.
Survivor's guilt is hard, though, because that doesn't get compartmentalized. I feel like it should have been me instead of my classmate, if he'd killed me like he was supposed to this other little girl wouldn't have died. So I treat everything in my life as if I don't deserve it, subconsciously. Sometimes I catch it before I fuck things up, sometimes I don't, sometimes someone else has to point it out to me. I'll see my reflection, or drop something, or just say a sentence wrong, and there's this burst of hatred that this clumsy, sick, crazy useless bitch is STEALING someone else's life and fucking it up. I compare myself to the girl who died constantly. Whenever I feel like a failure. "Jessica wouldn't have done that." "Jessica would have been successful." etc., etc.
And I don't hate the guy. That's the fucked up part - I hate me, but him? I just have questions for him. Mainly, why did he let me go and not her, why did seeing me cry make him cry? Why did he fucking hug me like that?
>>677624407
>>677624479
yeah. my ex has like 1,000 emails from me threatening everything from setting fire to her house to burying her family alive. i was so pissed off at the time that i'd have fuckin' done it then snuffed myself, so the tone was extreme and in detail. she went to the police with them twice and because sometimes i'd used a proxy and disposable email, even though i used my own name, they couldn't prosecute, but talking to her ever again would be like walking a tightrope. one fuck up and the police will rek my shit.
fucking slut.
>>677606801
1 i guess?
>>677620176
Sorry, got my facts messed up. I was Utøya btw, not Bastøy
>>677618062
yes it was
Does anyone here who as actually been to prison feel like life on the outside ain't what it used to be? Has the world's gone crazy,
and it ain't safe on the streets? Is is a drag, you know? or is there only one place to go? oh yeah, are you comin' home?
>>677607619
I think we need a greentext, anon.
>>677624742
Story? What did she do?
>>677607961
You actually got C.O.s fired for beating you? how rich are your parents??
>>677625063
still love the dumb slut so it's too painful to talk about.
a remote chan just randomly started doxing her though. already pics of her starting to spread, cause she's a hottie blonde with huge tits.
fug. gtg. gonna get very drunk.
>>677605890
County jail uniforms
Ask about prison
Pick one faggot.
>>677605890
Rape but was just held for a few nights and grilled by the cops and then released due to lack of evidence
>>677608639
I barely understood a word of your post, but then, you are from Tennessee.
>>677625247
Story? Did you rape em or no?
>>677624742
Why is murder now out of the question?
They won't suspect you now, just drug her and give her the concrete shoes in the water thing when she finally comes to.
>>677605890
I kill everyone, my name's Frank Castle
>>677607015
they send u azkaban?
>>677625195
Post the pics
>>677608584
>jail
>prison
Pick one
>>677625560
>Post the pics
the day she's posted here is the day i leave 4chan forever. been fearing it since fkn 2012.
>>677625445
>Why is murder now out of the question?
no longer want her dead. legit love that retarded slut cunt, can't control love.
>>677618387
>being this stupid
>>677610724
haha
>>677616933
surely you'll deliver anon
Could have got 4 years in cuck-sweden. But the tolerant faggots never caught me! Grew and sold 1.5kg (dried)mushroom
>>677625708
Stockholm syndrome?
>>677626049
nah, she and i were on/off for 10 years. i love her. only girl i've ever really loved. i thought i'd loved before, but then she came along. ooft. yeah, i was sure at that point that i knew what love was like. would rather die protecting her than kill her. the slut.
>>677625708
At least tell us what she did. Cheat on you? Don't need to greentext, understand the pain of bein in love with a bitch.
>>677612836
What the fuck did i just read
>>677625708
Yes you can you can crush your feelings and destroy your memories of her is you work hard enough
