Im sitting here at my computer wondering how my life got to this point...
>3 months ago I start watching anime
>Saw a few series while I was at college last year and thought about rewatching Tokyo Ghoul
>I have two friends (let's call them Sam and Ash)
> I try to get them into the show as well. Ash is cool with it, Sam is not.
>The 3 of us are sleeping over so we decide to put on an episode.
>90% of the time all Sam does is bitch and moan about how much he hates anime
>He's never seen a single series before
>"All anime is the fucking same and I hate Japanese people."
>"Well thats cool man, we can put something else on after this."
>"Well I'm not watching any of this fucking japanese ching chong shit."
>TG ends so we put on Boardwalk Empire to shut his ass up. But little did I know this would be the start of a carefully crafted plan.
>About a month goes by and I've picked up a few new shows.
>When Sam comes back into town, the three of us meet up for lunch. I mention to Ash that I found some new shows to watch and Sam goes off.
>"You're turning into one of those Japanese loving faggots"
>Great idea pops into my head and when he leaves to go to the bathroom, I tell Ash my master plan.
>I'll make him THINK I'm becoming "one of those people"
-While he's away at school I start my weaboo transformation
-I have access to large scale printers and a fair bit of money saved up from working my ass off over the summer
-Print off posters of my "waifu", set my computer wallpapers to loli cats, and build a shelf so I can start "collecting my figures"
>Ash's boyfriend has a few figures so he let's me borrow two of them
>I order my own figurine off ebay for 10 bucks and now I wait to spring the trap
>I plan the delivery so it will arrive while he's over at my house
>He starts walking into my room when he sees the one poster I've put up
>"What the fuck is that?"
>"Oh, I just wanted to change up my room a little bit" I replied
>>675738125
Go on
>He calms down a little and then he looks over at shelf I built for my desk
>Two figurines are displayed proudly and backlit with LEDS
>Turn on my computer and a loli pops up on one screen
>Before he can say anything the doorbell rings
>It's the mailman and he's right on time.
>I scamper down the stairs to grab my package and run back up to my room
>"What's in the box anon?" He asks
>Oh, just a thing I ordered off ebay a while ago
>I open the box and proceed to pull out a figurine and bring it over to my shelf
>Look over at Sam
>Can tell he's starting to freak the fuck out
I don't want to overplay my hand so I decide to shift the focus
>"Hey, how bout you me and my brother go get wings?"
>"Let's do it, it'll probably be good for you to get out of the house"
Cont.
>>675738125
Continue
The 3 of us head to a wing joint about 45 minutes from my house and have a normal dinner. My brother is in on this plan as well
>Everyone is, except for Sam
Sam leaves to go back to school the next afternoon so I begin the next phase
I have my bedroom closet stockpiled with weeb supplies I've gathered from friends (literally a knee high pile)
Bumping to keep this alive
>>675739339
Bump
>>675739339
You've acquired my interest. Proceed.
Bump please don't 404
>>675739339
Keep going
Bamp
Don't you 404 on me!
I decide it's time to up the ante.
>Find some guy on Craigslist that's selling a bunch of Mangas he doesn't want because he's moving
>Drive home and start to replace the books I already have on my bookshelf
Literally got like 40 random shit-tier Mangas for like 20 bucks
>Sam doesn't know what these are, all he knows is they're japanese
>and he hates everything japanese
>>675738125
Just tell Sam to fuck off, you beta faggot. Typical anime nerd.
>>675740352
when u take it too far
This is a pretty shit thread so far. OP has sleepovers.
I killed someone once. Top that
>>675741019
Come on OP im tired of bumping
>start digging through the pile in my closet so I can carefully select the next pair of figures I'll introduce to my "collection"
>I started off with the cute cartoony nendoroids
>now I start standing up the slightly more realistic figures
>Also buy one of those anime boob mouse pads because fuck it, I might as well make my wrist comfortable while I lurk
This should have been the first sign to myself that I was starting to get a little too deep.
But little did I know I would fall further down this slippery slope...
>>675741033
I ate a bowl of nails for breakfast... without any milk.
>>675741033
Was it your mum? Was it in the line of duty? Was it cold blooded murder? Was it some strange coincidence and a klutzy accident?
Come on man, you've piqued my curiosity.
>>675741033
I killed someone twice
>>675741254
Did you watch Boku no Pico with him yet? Ash might dig that shit.
>>675741254
This thread smells
>OP is actually an anim lover
>the end
>>675738513
Scheduling a mailman to arrive at a certain time. Ok
>>675741676
>>OP is actually an anim lover
No shit, Shylock.
>>675741438
I killed someone thrice.
Waiting for OP to deliver
>>675741661
>I like dress and penis
OP is caught for anime cp
Two weeks later Sam comes back for his sister's birthday and he's in for a big surprise
>Sees the boob mouse pad
>looks over at the slightly more sexual figurines
>wallpaper is now nearly naked loli orgy
"Anon, have you talked to Ash at all since I was here last?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"I think you two should try and hang out more often when I'm out of town."
>>675741804
>He try to make his friend believe that he's one
>he's actually one
>...
>where's the story
>>675740959
but it has potential
bumpin
>>675741812
I fourthed someone
Interested to see where this goes
>>675742097
Because he wants to make his friend thinks he's a more obsessed fan than he already is.
drop everything you're doing and post the story you flamming faggot
>>675742097
I'm waiting for a Dinosaur, truth be told.
>>675742122
That's why I'm still here, it could be glorious. Maybe.
>>675741937
If that's the end, I'm gonna kill you five times
bump
>>675741728
can be done, depends on who is carrying your package
when do you get fucked in the asshole by Sam
prediction
> gets caught anally masturbating to tentacle henait loli cp
>Sam is his fuck puppet
>gargles semen
pic related
>>675742905
>>675743014
>when the people bumping your thread start getting bored
>>675743190
>>675743271
Typing this as fast as i can right now so stay with me.
It's now a little over two months into my plan and I've kept it pretty low key from both of my parents (my siblings know however)
>put different posters over my anime posters while I'm not home, put stuff in front of the figurine shelf, hide the mousepad, etc.
Come back from school one afternoon and my mom is sitting at her desk
> "anon, you're not watching that japanese porn are you?"
>wat.
"I was looking in your closet for a roll of toilet paper and I found a bunch of cartoon girl action figures. You're not watching that weird porn are you?"
I know she'll totally spoil the plan if I tell her what I'm actually doing
>No mom, I'm just trying to find a hobby that I like
>"Okay, just be careful. I worry about you sometimes"
>>675743271
I am a total fucking weeb, I have lots of bump material.
im leaving
>>675743365
im not sure why this picture is called final_solution.jpg
>>675743190
>>675743190
>picrelated
WHere's the iamge retard??
Anyways the only loli-tentacle I know is consensual
>>675743528
forgot to add
attatched to my comment
>>675743449
My mother used to organize my porn collection, the fucking snoopy bitch. Most disconcerting.
>>675743449
i only have one more fuck left op
>>675743527
>>675743887
Did she do a good job organizing?
fuckin' finish this anon
>>675743527
>>675744009
i love /d/
bump
if this ending isn't better than the last page of dairy of Anne Frank im killing myself
>>675743925
same
>>675744315
Don't kill yourself, anon. Fap to loli instead.
>>675744036
Magazines by cover date, everything else more or less alphabetical... so yeah, she did do a pretty good job. She wasn't cataloging by content, though.
Bumpero
>>675744438
i clicked to enlarge as soon as someone walked in
fukn A
>>675744530
Hmm. I wish my mother did that for me.
>>675744656
You should download the whole thing. There's like 5 parts to this, all TL'd.
>>675744854
not downloading just clicking on image
>>675744989
That *is* downloading it, but you really should consider downloading the whole thing.
Cmon op
Well here I am after almost 3 months of my plan and I actually enjoy being surrounded by all this stuff. I have to return it to everyone eventually.
But in the past week I ordered 3 more figures for myself, almost every night I cry in bed while I watch the same anime rom coms, I basically have a waifu that I dream about every night, and now I've gotten into oppai.
What started off as a joke to make my friend think I was turning into a weeb basically ended up with me turning myself into a weeb.
Mfw I'm look in the mirror now and know I'm a cancer
>>675745263
I don't even care if you're not OP.
Shitty story with a shitty ending. It's /b/ material alright.
>>675745263
I fail to see how being a weeb on what used to be fucking anime image board is cancer.
>>675738125
Fucking kill yourself, autistic faggot. Don't fucking joke about 9/11, you edgy autistic shit. Fucking die.
>>675745616
same
>>675745869
salt where is pepper?
>>675745869
fuck off newfag
>>675745408
At least it was no dinosaur, and some peripheral amusement in the thread.
>>675745869
So you are fishing for 9/11 jokes, right?
>>675745906
preach
>>675745263
>Mfw I'm look in the mirror now and know I'm a cancer
>know im a cancer
>im a cancer
>>675743528
More
>>675743449
Why is your closet such a normal place for your family to find toilet paper
>>675746438
Ever try to fit 48 rolls in the tiny bathroom of a small apartment? I keep most of my tp in a closet. Not my bedroom closet, mind you, but in a closet none-the-less.
>>675746438
For some reason its been the designated toilet paper location since i was little
>>675746777
checked
>>675746777
Winrar
>>675746914
>>675746919
beat ya by 4 seconds
leaving hope somebody screenshots and puts it on ifunny or some shit tier app for me to see in the future
>>675747029
lol the pic i posted was actually related
>>675746914
>>675746919
That is the first time I have ever gotten trips. I'm overjoyed! I feel as if I've lost my virginity, somehow.
>>675747317
Hope you bit down on the pillow first, the first dry stroke is the deepest. In any case, congrats
This shit better be long
>>675747317
>>675747533
well chums, its been swell being one of three people following this thread
goodnight anons
>>675747782
i'm the loli-tentacle poster fourth. Good night.
Holy shit, I do have a loli cowgirl. I knew I had one or two somewhere.
>>675747913
I'm the lurking fifth
>>675747782
Good night, it's been fun!
>>675747986
Looks like shit, no offense.
Just realized that this is the first thread I have ever commented/posted on and both times were dubs
>>675748161
Yeah, but I'm a sucker for cowgirls and I compulsively save pictures and leave them unorganized. I'd post better ones if I had 'em.
>>675748528
Oh, I see. I like good art :^)
>>675748455
youre magic or sum shit
>>675747913
s-s-sorry i missed you anon-kun <3
>>675748455
And there you go again. I've been posting since 2009, and I got my first trips tonight. I've also never started a thread.
>>675748666
Trips.
Where can I get more?
>>675748666
Checked
>>675748769
It's okay. I'm used to being ignored.
>>675748818
How could you be that unlucky
Op is a slow faggot
>>675748936
When you've made under a thousand posts, it's not that unlucky.
Sup guys im tryin to be an artist any potential in lewds? Im fairly new at this btw
>>675749092
I thought you meant like actively posting since 2009
>>675748666
I love good art, but I save a lot of retarded stuff.
I am proud of my collection of pictures of squirrels eating pizza, though.
>>675745263
looks like sam is the winner here.
>>675749193
stick to drawing humans please
>>675749296
He lost two friends though
>>675749440
The benefit of not being suck down to weeb level though.
>>675749092
I don't know how many posts I've made, but it's probably under 3k. Far more on /m/, /jp/, and /tg/ than here on /b/.
<>twitter.com/Gawker/status/713235678113488896
>>675749272
pls dump those pics. The squirrel ones...
>>675749387
Im planning on doing that. What do you like and dislike about this btw
>>675749522
His friends were though I have lost friends that started watching anime and then stopped coming to school and when I would text them it would take hours to reply
>>675749597
I can't. It's far better to derail a shitty thread with them, to create some joy. This thread has already been better than it should have been.
Well.. fuck. Okay. I'll post a few, but here's some squirrel sex to get everyone ready.
>>675749535
I usually just stick to /b/ and /news/
>>675749535
I go on /jp/ to lurk the onahole thread. I now have a sick collection of onaholes. Who is the real winner here? That's right, me.
>>675749888
Trips
>>675749888
What the fuck? Twice in the same thread?
>>675749974
The nonweebs
>>675750038
Pretty that was like the third or fourth
>>675749974
/jp/ was soooooo good when we still could still sage.
>>675750208
I wouldn't know, like I said I only lurk the onahole thread.
Do you have any onaholes?
>>675749193
Yeah, I see a lot of potential
I think op fell asleep on his keyboard
>>675750144
My second trips, ever. Twice in the same thread, the two and only times so far in 6~ years.
>>675750440
Oh I thought you meant through everyone
>>675750440
You sound incredibly lonely. Are you in california? Do you want to hook up with me?
>>675746341
Yeah, he turned into a crab. What's the confusion.
>>675750334
I have none. I don't even have a mousepad (of any sort).
>>675750636
Pretty lonely, but I generally dislike any sort of contact with living humans.
>>675750996
Like, how do you even masturbate? BY HAND LOL???
>>675751120
Yep, entirely by hand, eheueh
Well, squirrels are boring me.
OP here,
Just got back from the shower
Waifu thread?
>>675749193
Got any more?
>>675751643
>>675751643
Well, what DO you like?
>>675751643
>>675751734
It depends on whether I'm having a good day or not. If it's a good day, well, it could be nearly anything. On a bad day, I hate just about everything (except tobacco, cannabis, green tea and good soy sauce).
>>675752309
Okay anon. This was a good threat. I think we're done here though. Have a nice night!
>>675752455
Have an excellent night, anon! It's been, fun and strange.
