ITT: shit you've done at house parties
>Piss all over the bathroom, under the sink, on the toilet paper, all over the floor
>turned the water off to the toilet so nobody could flush
>I once put a can of soup in the microwave for 10 minutes
> it ended up tripping a breaker and the music stopped
>ordered pizzas to the house and made the host pay for it
>Stole money, booze, weed, condoms and a usb key
>Killed a beta fish by pouring vodka in the bowl
>Smoked inside and put cigarette burns in the couch
>replaced whiskey with rice wine vinegar then poured a bunch of shots for strangers and ran away
>Threw single shoes on the roof
>Broke a spotlight on their back deck and didn't tell anybody
>Reported underage drinking and cocaine use shortly after leaving the party
>poured nail polish remover all over a bunch of coats piled on a bed
>unplugged appliances and misplace things in the kitchen
I'll think of other shit I've done. In college I partied a lot
>>675287094
You, sir, are an asshole
You sound like a blast.
>>675287094
>being this much of an antisocial faggot
>>675287094
fuck you man
>>675287094
Yeah, you sound like a complete and utter asshole.
Like literally, Dennis Leary's song 'Asshole' could have been written about you.
>>675287094
OP sounds like a very swell guy.
Wouldhangoutwith/10
>>675287563
I am Dennis Leary
>>675287094
>stole weed
> took a shot in hosts little sisters bedroom
>pissed in the kettle
Cont?
>>675287094
Dude cool story
>>675287681
*shit not shot
>>675287094
Nothing bothered me except the poor fish.
Also, you should have shit in the toilet cistern or as I call it, the Elisa Lam
>>675287617
Bullshit, pics with a timestamp or you're just another sad sack of shit on this miserable little board.
>>675287094
>being this autistic
>being this unhappy
>>675287094
No OP, that isn't partying, that's being a fucking nuisance. I had a house, at umass amherst, one of the best party colleges on the east coast, threw ragers, Have had parties with 1000 plus people. You are the epitome of what a scum bag is. You're that stupid nigger that tried to steal AA batteries from our house one time and got caught aren't you?
>>675287094
>>675287094
and you wonder why no one invites you to parties anymore
>>675287778
Webm is kind of related
That's from Saturday At a bar
>>675287094
so what the heck did these people do to deserve that?
Sounds like you were bullied in high school
>>675287939
>Invited
Lad, I just show up
>>675287094
ITT: OP has more edge than a fucking square
>>675287094
That's not partying you're describing, that's being a nigger.
>>675287094
Made a patty out of my own shit and then left in toaster. Cut the wires to electronics using wire cutters I found
>Caught hosts fish with a net and ate them, while playing drunken Survivor.
>Pierced muslim girls lip, so her cousin got pissed.
>Pissed in hosts ultra christian dads shampoo.
>Fell off a dog house while playing spiderman in yard.
>Ate ashes out of an ashtray for 1 gram of weed.
>Dude puked on himself. Drunk so couldn't deal right now. Bro and I carried chair with him outside, forgot about him, so he slept outside during winther, almost died.
>Stuck dick in vacuum cleaner
>Burned forehead on lamp.
>Broke guitar on friends head.
No regerts
>>675288153
>Burned forehead on lamp
I'm impressed
>>675288096
Exactly what I said anon! This guy is the reason I hated having parties in college. Stupid niggers like him can't come and just have fun. Gotta steal your shit and ruin your house or it isn't fun to them. Fucking cock goblet.
>>675287094
I've stolen so much shit. Tons of weed and scripts. I stole some guys seizure medication thinking I'd get a buzz off it but instead it gave me a rash
>Be me in high school
>Drink soda and eat caffine pills
>Play WoW all night long
I had some great parties but this 1 was by far the best.
fallen asleep on the kitchen floor laying on the last slice of pizza..
>stole stockings from host room
>>675288269
Seemed fun at the time
> fucked a hot but crazy girl when i was 17 and she was 22, great sex.
Thats all i got.
>>675287094
That edge, be careful, you might cut yourself
>>675288371
ITT: drug addicts and what they were able to steal from parties thinking they were partying.
>>675287094
> was pissed off with friend who's party it was
> call cops using landline and make threats
>friend is actually cool to me
> we make up and we're cool
>get fucked up
>Swat raid the party
>felony drug possession charge for host
>>675287094
At some point I always end up not pissing in the toilet
>>675287094
getting back at society bc you are defective...
real men of genius, *cues music
you, the robin hood of retards, righting the wrongs and wronging the rights.
when someone invites you into their house, to share their drinks, food, fun and friends, you send them to hell.
dont have any friends? make some. then punish them.
and then get angry that you dont have any friends. so find some. to punish.
>>675287094
>make out with fat chick in bathroom, break toliet
>use a knife to cut halfway the table, push drunk bro, he breaks through table
>eat all the pop tarts
>put bubble bath in the hot tub
>fuck skanky girls on bros bed
>put random shit in the freezer
>duct tape fridge shut
>bang on the radiator while bro was sleeping
>cock block constantly
>dig holes in the back yard
>>675287094
You're a fucking asshole
>>675287319
>>675287415
>>675287472
>>675287563
>>675287815
>>675287890
>>675288010
>>675288055
>>675288096
There's a bigger lesson here.
I threw a party once for Halloween where we allowed friends to bring their friends that we didn't know. I learned that lesson damn quick.
Now it's ONLY friends, and only 1 or 2 may bring a friend, and they explicitly agree to be personally and financially responsible for their guest.
If you throw a party with strangers, your are inviting OP. Every stranger is OP, and that's your lesson to learn and your fault if you don't. I know it doesn't sound fair, but lessons in common sense rarely are. Don't open your doors to strangers.
>didn't flush after I took a piss
>ate last slice of pizza
>hit the joint 3 times cuz the next guy wasn't paying attention
>got really drunk and fell asleep on the couch downstairs
>didn't pay attention to the movie everyone was watching
still feel bad about these.
>>675287094
I took all the shoes and crapped and pissed in them and then put on fridge and freezer
>>675287094
go into master bedroom. smash several beer bottles between the mattress and box spring. replace mattress and bedding carefully for mom to find when they get home from vacation.
hide in bath/shower behind shower curtain, wait for girls to be wiping before you come out.
If rich people with pool, dump everything in the backyard that's not nailed down into the pool.
>>675288153
>playing spiderman
>m'lady
>was respectful and had fun
>friend gets wasted
>decide to do a hot water trick with him on the party host
>group of people stand around watching
>put his hand in water
>he pisses and shits his pants
>mfw
>>675288755
>put random shit in the freezer
I've put beer in the freezer at some house before and it broke and made a mess
>>675288848
Well no shit. Not a lesson that needed to be learned the hard way, if you're not a complete dumbass
>Got super drunk till i lost my memory
>Drank one more 0.5l vodka bottle
>Took a piss from balcony
That's hilarious stuff. Please tell me it was the parent's house?
>>675288914
Bruh it's called a shoopsicle
>>675287094
Ok all of that is funny other than calling the cops, you asshole.
Never call the cops, no one likes a tattle tale.
>>675288951
>2016
>Has never played Spiderman
What are you?
>>675287094
kewl sturey, brah
>>675289004
I think that was more of a sign of alcohol poisoning than a water trick
I'm usually a decent guest at parties.
One time I fucked my gf at her friends house party in her bedroom and I came in a pair of her panties.
>>675289060
This was like clocks, remotes, shoes, socks, pop tarts, blankets, video game controllers.
Also
>stack up lawn furniture in the front yard
>highest stack we ever made was 20 foot tall
>>675287094
>unplugged appliances and misplace things in the kitchen
Fucking badass over here
>>675289218
normal
>>675287094
>ate 3 whole onions to win a 120€ bet
>lit 5 any-strike-matches with my foot, ended up stubbing my little to so hard it broke and was turned in a 90° angle
and thats all i did ....
>>675287890
umass has nothing on UT Knoxville when it comes to east coast party schools.
>>675289218
a loser that doesnt get invited to parties
>go to friends' party
>friend and I get totally drunk
>I have to shit
>find the nearest large receptacle
>large fern in a vase
>k
>shit in the vase
>I'm smart, I bury it under the potting soil
>family comes home the next day, they say they smell shit in the house
>had a hangover so I didn't remember what happened
>walk by the vase
>remember what happened
>mfw family never found the shit smell
>>675288848
>Hosted and co-hosted lots of parties
>Allow everyone to invite a friend or two as long as I had numbers
>Most didnt bc most going were friends anyway
>Nothing was broken or stolen bc my friends respect me and aren't defective faggots
>>675289218
Older than ten
Broke down a door 2 days ago at my buddy's party
>>675289237
Eh regardless I was happy he shit himself. He was kind of a chad thundercunt and that experience brought him down a lot
>>675289337
Who would you invite to your party?
Spiderman who falls off shit, or the "normal" guy who just stands around and rolls his eyes at immature losers?
>>675289439
Sounds like a shitty time.
>be me
>live in country
>high school spring and summer time
>huge field parties
>100+ peopke
>go car to car chug beers and put empties back in cooler
>get drunk for free
>go up to group of people
>make ass out of myself
>good times
>>675287094
I convinced some drunk friends to put their cock inside the full Nutella jar of the party owner. Later that night we see the opened Nutella jar sitting on the table, opened and not so full anymore.
>>675288639
Same here. It's usually off the front or back porch. Once into an in ground pool.
>>675289645
I'd invite someone who's fun but isn't a complete autist
>>675289645
Probably the normal guy considering someone jumping off a ton of shit like a retard with a personality disorder can potentially get injured and sue, or break a ton of my shit.
>>675289645
Spiderman for sure
>>675289787
>Sue
>Being this american
>>675289786
>>675289787
Lame. We always invited the autists. They were fun as shit, not so much now but back then so much fun.
>>675289004
You killed him
>>675287094
>be me, 2 years ago
>show up to party in apartment with friends
>know nobody
>"take off your fucking shoes"
>lol no
>2 hours later, go to leave, shoes still on
>pass shoe pile
>COVERED in vomit
>shoes literally filled with vomit
>laugh all the way to the elevator before tripping over some drunk girl and falling on my face
>>675287354
top fucking kek
>>675289930
>sue
>being this cognizant of what could potentially happen
If I'm hosting a party I don't want autistic spidermen crawling around
>>675289690
I always forget how massive American high schools are, and how big the parties are as a result
>Be irish
>Less people my age
>Far less half decent/funny people my age
>>675289989
That's because they were your only friends you bogan
there are zero drug,weed,stoner threads up, i need some advice and i feel like this is the best place to ask, I took 140mg of vyvanse last night around 8:00pm, it's now 11:40am and i think im coming down. It was a hell of a trip, my body felt all weird and shit and i was super focused. But here's the problem, im coming down hard. the last time i took vyvanse i took 90mg and it kept me up for 2 days with crippling anxiety. But now some weird shit is going on like i'm getting angry for no reason ( really angry), i cant sleep and i feel sick and my body feels weird, almost heavy. Did i take too much? is this normal? Is there anyway i can make myself feel better? i tried 3mg of xanax but that didn't do shit. and im out of weed so that's not an option.
>>675288755
>>eat all the pop tarts
that's taking things a bit far, don't you think?
>steal beer and weed
>smoke indoors
>poo and piss all over bathroom
>take panties from female friend's rooms, rub erect cock on things, ejaculate in their beds
>leave anonymous tips about party when it's time to leave
Did I mention I go to a college full of normie cunts who I don't feel bad about doing all this too?
>>675290167
Your parties must be a ton of fun.
>>675290209
This was usually a combination of schools. My school was smaller than average for america
>>675290222
Watch ASMR and drink some luke warm tea
>>675288153
>Dude puked on himself. Drunk so couldn't deal right now. Bro and I carried chair with him outside, forgot about him, so he slept outside during winther, almost died.
>>675290222
tl;dr
get the fuck out of this thread, or make your own fucker
btw nice trips
>>675290360
How many students?
>>675288863
>hit the joint 3 times cuz the next guy wasn't paying attention
You're a disgrace to weed smokers.
>>675290354
>ton
Oh boy
>made a hamburger out of a 100 year old bible and two penises
>connected two friends nipples with jumper cables
>stole a pedal car from random kids garden
>returned it
>chopped down some trees
>placed some on the road, made a bonfire with some
>jumper cable to the dick
>vodka tampon in anus
Used to go to parties and beat the shit out of faggots who thought it was hilarious to fuck peoples' house and or property up. Parties are about getting fucked up, having a good time and getting pussy- not being a dork.
There were exceptions though. If it was someone, male or female, who we hated, not just because, but someone who had done some backstabbing shit or tried to fuck your girl or some shit like that- all bets were off.
But just randomly going to someone's house or parent's and fucking shit up just to do it is a high autistic move.
>>675287094
>>675290222
More Xanax, it'll help if you take enough. 3mg should be more than enough with low/no tolerance, but you can safely take more
>>675290354
Well I'd invite you to see for yourself, but you're a fucking retard
I don't get how everyone is like "I stole weed" fucking hell Ur at a party smoke it like a normal person, share it round and stop acting like an edgy cunt
>get invited to a new years eve party by my friend
>party was shit, mostly consisted of his family
>know some other people who were invited
>me and my mate end up getting hammered on jager bombs and absinthe
>me and him go out the front of his house for a piss since the toilet had a line
>piss in some half built house extention next door
>decide to wreck shit, kick down wooden frames and rip off wood boards
>we realise its connected to their house and we pretty much just broke in
>leg it back to the party and a few minutes later host goes around asking people where they were
>other mate covers for us
>hosts father ends up giving him a beating in the middle of the house
>>675290479
Sorry forgot you were american.
A gallon? an ounce? I dunno...
Your parties must be a fahrenheit of fun
>>675290455
I'd rather not make an entire new thread, i mean people who go to parties take drugs so i assumed someone here would have experience with this.
Mostly just steal shit like blenders, ipods,phones blu-ray player, 42 inch TV, sometimes copper wiring if everyone is passed out.
>>675290402
What's ASMR?
>>675290221
Nonsense. But id rather have fun doing drunken crazy shit, than standing around being bored.
>one party
>getting drunk as shit
>still daylight
>just came back from a firework run
>have giant firecracker war in an open field
>about 1 hr worth of lauching bottle rockets, roman candles, etc at each other
>come back and play cannon fuse roulette
>keep getting drunk
>try to get chicks to come over
>one does
>lame
>decide to get high and lan party halo 3 until 6 am
That was a fun day
I flipped off my buddies fish
that was 4 years ago and I still regret it every day.
>see some young dudes probably still in high school
>offer them shots until they pass out drunk as fuck
>they have a low tolerance
>grab one after he passes put and lay him on the lawn next to a tree
>spray paint a massive cock on the lawn that points at his butt
>take picture from up in the tree
>guy who owns the house was fully supportive of this
>guy shows up with an eye dropper full of acid and sugar cubes
>trip balls for 12 hours
Damn what a good night.
>party
>get so hammered i cant walk, talk or anything
>pass out
>someone calls ambulance
>party was shut down
>random item stealing (several times)
>passed out girl fucking x4
>pissing in wardrobe x3
>shitting in attic x2
So
>be at friend's house warming rager
>keg stands all night
>bitch dude who tried to set me up with the police shows up
> go to friend, "I can't abide his presence bruh"
> host buddy tells me to even the odds
>walk up to guy who sees me and tries to run
> he turns just in time to see host buddy lock door (one of those affairs that need a key both inside and out)
>I literally spend the next hour beating the shit out of this guy and torturing him infront of a house full of people as they cheer it on
> not talking babbys first torture, this was burning him, sitting him in a chair with no bottom and wailing his nuts, burning the bottom of his feet with cigarettes
> untie him and tell him I'll kill him if he ever does it again
> party proceedes as normal after that, oddly enough even torture bitch sticks around to party (though he somehow pisses off someone else later that night and gets knocked out cold, put in a lawn chair and locked in the garage for the duration)
>becomes a bit of an urban legend in the area
> have had strangers talk to me about it not realizing I was the person who perpetuated it
>mfw bitch moved away four states
>mfw I have no face
Only one other person ever tried to set me up and I pistol whipped them so hard the bullets came out (revolver) and when I went to shoot them there were no bullets in the cylinder.
>>675290463
300 including grades 7-12
>>675290627
>>675290479 is not the guy you're arguing with, but you do realize Americans use "ton" as well, right?
Sorry forgot you were autistic.
>>675290740
dam dude
>>675287094
Die motherfucker
>>675290708
youtube "ASMR sleep" or some shit. Relaxing as fuck
>>675290502
Do you know how I know you're 15?
>>675290221
Stop being Australian.
>>675287094
>put light bulbs i pulled out from other rooms under the couch cushons
>stole a beta fish from a vase that was in the bathroom
>that beta fish lived another 4 years in a huge tank with a couple other friends
>smashed the window out of the front door because the host locked us inside.
>shot into the air with a shotgun and everybody freaked out
>had sex in some guys parents room and left the condom under the sheets after we made the bed again
>>675290627
>american
A ton refers to 2000 pounds, and is an american measurement.
I assumed you were a retarded American, because outside of the US we use a metric 'tonne'.
Absolute retard.
>>675290708
Hot girls whispering into a microphone to trigger a calming, but spine tingling response, you can find an ASMR on almost any subject you're interested in
It's all over youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQE2tXLHcio
>>675290835
babby is so tough on the interwebs.
Wasnt at a houseparty but wahteva!
Bowl with some friends. Little drunk. Thought the bill was to high. Made amends by spraypissing the toilet. My friend needed to piss. He cursed and turned 360 when the stank hit him when opening door to toilet.
>>675290835
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most
>>675291029
Sorry you were caught in the crossfire of this argument with this fucking degenerate retard.
>>675290675
>stealing copper wiring
You sound like a fucking crackhead.
>>675290835
3edgy5me
>>675291298
Fuck you. I love copper
>>675290675
>stealing copper wiring
Fuck off you pikey
>>675290791
Lol
>>675289218
I picture you as overweight, wearing a fedora, and a graphic tee trying to negotiate a dog kennel whilst playing spiderman, and the weight of your fat ass brought the kennel down to one demolished heap.
...am I far off?
>>675291390
How's it going in the UK?
>>675290740
fucking madman
>>675291501
Pretty good, I only got molested by an immigrant twice today
this
>>675287094
I used to do this in a church bathroom as a kid. Be riding bikes and knew the church was open. piss all over everything, fill up the floor, soak the TP.... I'll probably go to hell for it but shit was cash.
>>675291607
Ive done that before, chicks were about the same caliber
>>675291607
Jesus Christ, America.
I frequently turn up at the large high school parties in my area uninvited at around 1-3AM. Usually specialise in the passed out girls, I will either finger them or if there is a quiet room or closet that I can drag them to. I've never used a condom but occasionally poor bleach in once in done. Also steal stuff like phones from the drunk girls. I make $300-700 a month alone from lifting at parties.
I was at a party and I didn't smash dat mf like
>>675291061
Babby tough irl too
>>675291607
Those three fellas seems to enjoy imagining having their dick sucked by male athletes...
>>675291780
That's fucked mate
I once talked to this guy and his son after being specifically asked to not do so ever again.
>>675290835
Ya, this didn't happen.
>>675290222
Yes, stop taking more drugs to fix your drug related problem.
Manage your fucking life or you'll end up in a psych ward one day.
>>675291984
Chiraq bruh. Things get real in the 100s
Find girls purses, empty said purses, shit into purses, replace with items and put in original location and be the last one to leave and witness glory..
>>675291937
I hosted a "meme night" party, telling them there would be alcohol, etc. but then once about a dozen people came over, I just showed them memes I like on my personal computer.
>>675291298
>>675291357 not me
I can't really afford my community college so I steal occasionally to make by.
>>675291032
>>675290932
I hope this works, nothing like this has every happened to me before. 'i'm so fucking angry for no reason and it hurts. I can barely post right now i feel so off i dont even want to look at my computer screen or tv or anything it's freaking me out.
>>675292123
>can't afford
>community college
>not going to a state school or great school
Fool.
I got with this at a party
>>675287094
>mfw when I did this in a club when I was goog'd and drunk of my mind and then lost my footing on my own piss and cut my head open on the wall
>>67529062
ok fahrenheit of fun made me laugh
>>675287094
OP is a fucking piece of shit. I hope somebody does all this shit to you when you have a house party someday.
>>675292324
>mfw I was looking down at my phone and walked into the edge of a door full force and split my head open last week
>sober
Don't feel bad, we all do dumb things
>>675290627
You're retarded
>>675288429
Nice
>>675292302
Related.
>>675287094
Have you ever smashed the toilet?
>>675292404
>I hope somebody does all this shit to you when you have a house party someday.
This. OP is the lowest form of filth.
>>675292730
no but I've smashed dat like fam
>brought sound system, lasers and spun rave music on vinyl
>also brought game systems for the less-social to enjoy the night
>mixed drinks for friends that wanted something nice to drink
>helped pick up trash morning after
>>675292827
you should be ashamed of yourself. despicable.
>>675291987
I have a job i manage myself just fine i just dont have enough experience with prescription drugs to know the possible side effects. Idk man maybe the xanax was a mistake but to be honest it really didn't do jack shit, didn't feel it or anything.
>>675292404
>implyng a guy like this has enough friends or acquaintances to have a party
pic related
>>675292885
Also passed on the weed that was going around because it's just not for me.
Aside from just throwing up on someone's floor, nothing really. I'm not an ass hole like you OP. Imagine if you threw one and a bunch of random people showed up and someone pulled that shit in your house.
The worst thing I've ever done was I found a vacant house that was unlocked back when I was in high school and literally destroyed every wall and piece of glass in the house drunk as hell with some friends. It was bank owned so I don't feel that bad.
>>new fag can't greentext
>>675291778
Sick fuck, I hope you get raped and murdered one day
>>675287094
You sound like an awesome friend to have around
> brother's birthday but he's at a wedding for someone I don't really know
> invited to after party
> this is so fucking hick
> drink the fifth of vodka I brought
> make out with new bride because didn't know
> everyone lets it go
>later guy gets in my face, give him a little knock for invading my space
> bitch that was a little head butt
> nose is split and broken, he's bleeding like a stuck pig
>fucking crickets
> party yells OHHHHHHHH
>I call them pussys and leave
>>675290835
sure
>>675287094
>In college I partied a lot
>college I partied a lot
>I partied a lot
>partied a lot
>partied
yeah fuck those guys, huh?
>>675287094
>op thinks he's hot shit
>>675287094
What a fucking loser.
>>675289430
hahaha that's fucking hilaroius
>>675287094
>Pasta this old
>nobody recognizing it
/b/ is kill.
No
>>675292827
>be me
>go to a house party
>owner has set up n64 for people to play
>I'm talking golden eye, mario kart,wwf. The whole fucking shabang
>towards the end of the party, I have no socks and I'm fucking wasted
>decide to play mario kart with some cuck
>Smash guy three times in a row while shit talking the whole time
>guy cracks it and breaks a n64 controller across my head
>chunks of plastic gets in my drink and in my skin
You're a piece of shit anon. Don't be that guy who enables drunk people to do stuff
>>675293403
time to take your autism scripts fag
>>675288096
true dat
>be 16 year old beta at house party
>everyone hooking up and me and a few people are smoking and drinking out back
>get bored so go exploring around house with random chav I found at party
>walk in bedroom and see host loosing her v to random party goer
>go into bathroom and find flowers in there
>who the fuck puts flowers in a bathroom
>real flowers as well
>small pots with soil
>pull plant out of pot and throw it against bathroom wall
>soil explodes covers half the wall
>do the same to remaining plants
>continues to explore and finds bedroom we are told not to enter
>enter anyway because bad ass
>find loads of Christmas presents in bags and a big bottle of PVA glue
>cover room and presents with glue like a porn. >Gallons of cum/glue everywhere
>go down stairs and continue to drink and smoke
>here commotion upstairs
>goes to lurk and see chav I was with in a fight with a friend
>chav tumbles down the stairs into a heap on the floor
>chav got caught in room and blamed for everything
>no one ever knew it was me.
>don't even see those people anymore so no one will ever know
>>675290502
>>made a hamburger out of a 100 year old bible and two penises
gay as fuck
>>675287094
>Worked as a roadie with a band.
>Band and crew staying at local bands house.
>Need to drop a deuce.
>Wandering through house to find toilet.
>Wander into room upstairs.
>Find Kodak Funsaver disposable camera
>idea forms
>find toilet
>drop massive deuce
>photograph massive deuce with Funsaver
>12 photos from varying angles taken
>put camera back in room
>smile/laugh everytime I think about it
>over 15 years ago
>>675293961
find any rupees?
>>675290740
no fucking chill
>>675290222
Always eat food coming down from vyvanse. You're not gonna want to, but force yourself to and you'll spare yourself the stomach ache
>Took a Shit In the parents bed
>Shaved My Pubes before a party, put them in a baggy and looked for potential knocked out victim and slathered some super glue on face and proceeded to make a masterpiece
>>675291607
Poor guy
>shit on their parent's closet
it was lit fam
>>675291822
I picture you as one of those autistic shits that fill up the cringe threads, like "I am the joker **HaaAhaHahaha**, I'm so crazy I sleep with 5 blades every night " like anyone gives a shit about you. Going around telling people how "I'm actually a diagnosed sociopath" Or some retarded crap you looked up on webmd. You are literally the reason cuck porn fucking exists. I pray every night that niggers such as you live long lives only so that any search for happiness or hope is destroyed at every turn and that every source of joy in your life is extinguished violently before your eyes.
Fuck you.
I hope you have children and get rich so that they can accuse you of rape to steal your money, and when they haul you off for your "crimes" your children are hit by a bus.
>>675288848
>Hosting parties at your place
If you're a teenager you're just asking for trouble if you host big parties with strangers at your house. I remember one time a friend had a party where one of his friends brought a bunch of other people and they ended up stealing a lot of wiskey and wine bottles as well as cellphones and they even stole my friend's xbox.
Back in College my stupid ass roomate got his laptop, cellphone and a harddrive with naked pictures of his girl stolen when he decided to have a party in our apartment and decided to invite random people.
You just don't do it. Not to mention the damage they'll cause even if they're not there to cause trouble.
>>675291607
/b/ in the back
>>675290708
>>675291032
I first video i found was just locks unlocking, that's so fucking annoying how is that suppose to calm me down seriously fuck you guys fuck this website fuck video games and fuck life i think it's time to slit my wrists this is unbearable.
Any pictures of random drunk chicks you've fucked at parties?
>>675294770
This..
We always knew someone out in the middle of nowhere with dirt roads and no neighbors. Lock the house down, use extension cords and water hoses. Lawn chairs and card tables.
Guys from the wrestling team were mostly straightedge, and would play bouncer for help with homework.
>>675295132
>>675292091
Underrated post
>>675287563
Dennis leary is a piece of shit. HE stole that song from Adam Sandler - Steve Polycornoplous
>>675294770
>>675295326
Also, ALWAYS BYOB
>>675290146
dodged the bullet
>>675289759
underrated
>>675287094
You're a fucking piece of shit. I'm sure you already know that though.
>>675295539
holy shit this
>Be 19
>Not really used to parties, but did go to some when I was in high school
>Go to a friends party because she was begging me to go
>Didn't want to go alone, so I took a buddy
>He was a complete shut in, but he was the only one available
>Get to party
>Its pretty lame
>We're standing in a corne
>We didn't bring anything to drink
>there was a 12 pack lying on the floor next to us
>Tell my buddy to get a couple of beers
>As he's doing it, I see someone looking at what my friend is doing
>I get a bad feeling
>Buddy pulls out two beers
>I tell I don't want it
>12 pack owner comes and confronts him
>friend is embarrassed
>We leave
I learned my lesson
My friend learned his lesson the hard way
>>675295502
Actually Leary stole the idea from Louis CK
Let's see I stole a traffic cone, four TV remotes(2 TVs total, remote for the TV itself and one for cable) two lighters, a handle of Burnetts, a tube of toothpaste, an iPhone charger(plug and cable), and an Orioles hat. Pic related it's most of the remotes
fucked a chick on the owner of the house's bed, almost got my ass kicked by him and his friends because of this. Like the old saying goes "oh well".
>>675287094
I stole 6 full packs of Crest White Strips from my friend's house. The like $80 ones. He brought it up so many times because his mom was fuckin pissed. Hard to not smile and show him my shiney fucking white teeth.
>17
>house party
>fuckyesihavebeer.jpeg
>forgot to poop before I arrived at party
>oh shit it's here
>go to bathroom
>idea!
>stretch condom over my asshole
>fill it
>tie the end up and put it in hosts freezer at the back
>leaving party
>17 year old drunk
>get frozen poopsicle
>throw it at girls head
Good times
pic-related, it's OP. well done.
>>675296210
beta af
I got one,
>Go to party freshman year, friends parents out of town, just him, his younger bro and senior sis
>Fucked up on codeine
>Almost nobody brought booze, and the druggies were keeping in groups
>me and the little bro end up chugging a 100$ bottle of exotic alcoholic coffee creamer
>Cops show up
>Two stoners lock themselves in closet upstairs
>Cops are dissing on two 17-18 yr old guys and a 14 year old girl in front of everyone, because the cops walked into the bedroom as they were starting a threeway
>Im tripping balls and drunk making jokes as the cops have everyone corralled in the living room area
>One cop gets pissed and whacks the back of my chair with his baton
>didnt react for like 3 seconds
>Still babbling and not taking police seriously(wasnt in possession of anything)
>Cops start sending folks with cars home, taking home underage people or folks with no transportation
>mfw the cops took,everyone else and made me walk across town
>got stopped halfway home by a cop seeing why kid was out past midnight
>Radios it in, and another cop tells him to let me keep walking
I hated the police in my town.
>be me
>house party at my classmates house
>time to sleep
>sleep in bed me an my gf got assigned to
>try to sleep, bed is wet as fuck
>smell my gf's hair
>smells like piss
>my friends cat has pissed on the bed
>get angry at the cat
>go to his blanket
>he just sits there
>start to unload my piss on him
>does not care
>piss soaked cat walks around the house all night
>>675287094
>having fun with my friends.
>drink alcohol
>cook food
>>675291032
is there a name for this but with deep and a little rough voiced guys?
>>675294714
I don't call myself anything. When you put my freedom in jeopardy because you got caught then you put your life in jeopardy. Simple as that. I'm a pretty chill person, for the most part. I don't sleep with knives, I'm not some autismo, nor am I a neck beard. I just don't fuck around when it comes to snitching (I know the old adage, no honor among thieves but I don't snitch because I would expect someone to do the same to me). Also, I'm white.
>>675287094
Ancient copy pasta. Faggot.
>>675287094
Holy shut kill yourself
>>675287094
>I'll think of other shit I've done. In college I partied a lot
Are you a nigger? Because you behave like a nigger.
>>675298251
Another time
>Second year as a freshman, partying with some friends at the quarry
>Gets dull
>Friend says 'anon, lets go do some cough syrup. Ive got the good kind'
>Drink it, trip, garden gnomes peering out from everywhere
>Go back to house, pass out on recliner next to friends bed
>Wake up to choking sound, qnd he rolls over and sits up, spraying blood red cough syrupy vomit in an arc, trying to get to side of bed
>I sit up, get hit with puke
>He finishes puking as i sit up and fully comprehend what happened, puke on my face
>Cough syrup roars with an acidic fury not noticed before this moment
>Heave blood red liquid right on buddy's bed and chest/neck
>Both of us Pass the fuck out
>>675298667
You're nieve for expecting people to treat you the same way you treat others.
Most people don't have any honour and will do anything to squirm out of a situation. While you can have your honour and rules it's stupid to expect others to blindly live that way.
>>675299291
You mean naive?
>>675290835
was this before or after you were dropped on your head as a child?
>Smoking bud with my buds
>Bag is almost empty
>Decide to go party-hunting
>Went over to somewhere we heard there was a party
>At the door
>typical "Hey, who do you know here?" shit
>Dude is a fucking douche
>Tell him I just dropped some girls off and just needed to use the bathroom
>Get in
>Go upstairs
>Go into the bedroom
>Steal a copy of Uncharted, a pack of cigarettes and a kickass weedgrinder that I still utilize to this day
>Go to leave
>See a ceramic bong on his shelf
>Lol who the fuck owns a ceramic bong
>Piss into his wardrobe
>Then place the bong under my asshole and shit into it
>Put it back on the shelf
>Wipe my ass with one of his sweaters
>Leave
>Give the guy who stopped me at the door my weed baggie with one bud left
>Tell him thanks and leave
>Tell my friends about it
>We laugh and find another party
Next day
>Wake up to a thousand messages on facebook and missed phonecalls
>My friend is sending me links to a fb page
>Fb page of the guy who's bong I shit in last night
>Status Update
>"Hey, this is to the asshole who took a shit in my bedroom last night. The cops have been notified and we will run dna tests on it and you'll pay for the damages and go to jail for obstruction of property"
>This was 5 years ago
>Still free motherfuckers
Since they found out so fast I've always thought that they found out by trying to smoke the weed I gave them, and hopefully realized what was going on too late.
>>675299388
Yes I'm a retard like everyone else here
>>675287094
lol what a dipshit
>>675287094
You sound like a cocksucker that nobody likes
Once put a mixture of full and empty cans, butter and a kettle in the tumble drier and set it off spinning
>>675287094
Nice try nigger...
But we don't act in such ways.
>>675287094
Wow OP, I'm sure people really like you.
>>675287094
You're a cunt.
Making out with a fat slut, then fucking her in front of everyone.
Sneaked into my friend hot sisters room and looked trough her stuff.
>>675293204
and then dinosaurs walked?
everyone was trashing the house so I took pictures off wall and punched holes in sheetrock and put pictures back. figured years later they would find the holes and get mad a thier prick son for having a house party all over again
Set a cat on fire
>>675299492
>Smoking bud
Stopped reading
>be 16 beta fag
>first house party
>byob but 16 so no beer
>That's cool plan on just stealing cans from unattended boxes
>get lost in the way
>loose friend but find party
>Open the floor
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the Dinosaur
>>675287094
y did u do it?
>>675299444
Trips check'd abd kek'd
I was never dropped on my head as a baby.
>>675299291
You missed the point I was making, hence why I said the adage. I was stating that I would expect someone to inflict horrific bodily harm upon my person if I was to narc so I don't. The inverse is true as well, drop on me to the police and I'm going to fuck you up. This isn't edgelord autismo internet tough guy shit. Now I don't deal or bang anymore (not that I should have ever done that but money was money) and I haven't had to do anything like that in a long time.
>>675301800
It was a play on words Lori.
>>675301075
Nope, got in my car and left.
>>675287094
Yes, yes you did buddy.