Let's play a game. Rules: If singles, you are a guard in
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Let's play a game.
Rules:
If singles, you are a guard in a large warehouse.
If dubs, you are a thief sneaking into the building, trying to steal artifacts.
If trips, you are on of the valuable artifacts in said building, and you can commentate the goings on.
If quads, an alarm is tripped and singles/guards go weapons hot and the thieves have to roll dubs to escape.
When you roll, give yourself a call sign. Your call sign should be short, and one word. All guards start in the building, all thieves start outside.
Also, if anyone rolls quints, the building explodes and you all die.
Let's play, /b/.
Rolling
Callsign Captain Dick.
Rolling
Call me Cook
Two guards so far, still a lightly guarded building, if I roll dubs o might be able to clean up the joint
Check em!
Call me Bates cause of them dubs!
>>675247894
Welcome to the squad, Bates. You malnourished pretty boy psychopath, you.
>>675247978
^me
Forgot my codename. Alyssa
>>675246429
Rolling, call sign Bluntzilla
Thief GET
I'm Batman
I'm up for this. Aslong as I get to steal shit.
Code name Swiper
>>675249233
SWIPER IS THEIF #1.
SWIPER IS THEIF LEADER.
SWIPER IS UP AGAINST 6 GUARDS.
[OP]
I'm in
Callsign: Lazy Bones
Thief get
>Nigger
>>675249711
Welcome, Nigger.
(Swiper)
im in
call me robocop
>>675246429
[OP]
Now that we have a THEIF, Codename: Swiper, I will detail the building for all players. Refer to this post of needed.
The building is a two story warehouse. The items in question, any Trips rolled, are of immense value and are locked in various safes on the third floor.
The guards are divided evenly among floors. As of this post we have 6 guards.
Three guards per floor and so on. The next guard rolled after this post will be top floor, and alternates with each new guard HIRED.
The guards can only HEAR the thieves if the THIEF post is above or below their post.
ALL POSTERS must henceforth end their post with their call sign, like a text signature. This tracks who is who. Guards can commune with fellow guards, and thieves can move based on their rolls.
1-3 is enter the building.
4-6 is move through current floor.
7-8 is ascend stairs/approach safe if on second floor.
If you roll a 9, you make a noise that raises SUSPICION.
Rolling a 0 is instant CAUGHT.
[OP]
>>675249820
Is We gon steal dem artifacts or what?
rolling
pussyfuck
Code Name : Meme
>>675246429
Role for calcum
call sine; MR Skeltal
John
>>675250063
[OP]
NIGGER IS A THEIF, IT HAD TO HAPPEN.
[OP]
Also, think of me as a guy on loudspeaker or some shit. I dunno. Caps will be used, though. Expect me.
>>675249994
I is enter da House
>nigg
rolling
keemstar
>>675249994
>Building is a two story warehouse
>Various safes on the third floor
MR Skeltal role for enter building.
Pls spooky bones don't alert guards.
[OP]
GUARDS, GET YOUR
>GUARD
UP, MORE THEIFS HAVE SURROUNDED THE BUILDING.
YOU ARE ARMED WITH FLASHLIGHTS.
BOTTOM FLOOR GUARDS HAVE TASERS.
TOP FLOOR HAVE NINES.
>>675250258
i guess im the new guy whos late to work huh?
>>675250590
oh no bones get cot :(
>>675250590
[OP]
NEVER QUESTION GOOD ARCHITECTURE.
THIS CONSTRUCTION ANOMALY IS WHY ITS SO HARD TO BURGLE.
[OP]
>bullshit ass savery awaaaayyy
>>675250177
>>675250255
Welcome, pussyfuck and MR Skeltal.
As you can see
>>675250063
>>675250305
Nigger is in the warehouse and moving down the first floor.
I guess I'll move in
ok im a guard
keemstar
>>675250590
>sees thief enter building
>tackles his nigga ass
>>675250785
Forgot to say
(Swiper)
except something on each corner roooll
robocop
>>675250650
[OP]
NO, HES FINE. THAT WAS HIS FIRST ROLL.
HIS SECOND ROLL, IF CONTAINING 0, WILL GET HIM CAUGHT.
AFTER YOUR FIRST ROLL, DUBS, TRIPS, QUADS, QUINTS, SEXTS :D, AND WHATEVER OTHER NUMERICAL ACROBATICS ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL.
[OP]
MR Skeltal got caught cus role 0. Wot happen to him? Did he died?
>>675250804
(john)
im new to these games
>>675250600
Gotta steal dem artifacts
>nigg
Niggerman
How do I win?
>Dookie Shoes, over
op can i search around?
>john
(Niggerman)
Niggerman has a bad feeling about these artifacts
>>675251129
Thank mr skeltal.
Role again for enter building safe n sound. Codename Nigger needin support frum outside building?
>>675251005
Very dead nigg. Sorry Skeltal.
I'm still trying to find my way in the building
(Swiper)
>>675251005
[OP]
ANYONE CAUGHT BY GUARDS ON THE FIRST FLOOR ARE SUBDUED AND QUESTIONED. ALL GUARDS THEN CAN BASICALLY JUST THROW SHIT THAY THEIVES WAY. SLAP HIM WITH YOIR DICK. THIS IS A PRIVATE DEFENSE GROUP, NO REAL RULES.
ANYONE CAUGHT ON SECOND FLOOR IS EXECUTED. NO EXCEPTIONS.
[OP]
gigantic faggot here
pic related
(Niggerman)
{Niggerman is from somalia, fluent in Somalian can also smell other niggers, fear, water, and faggots}
>>675251264
Where in the Fuck is this door
(Swiper)
Niggerman rolls to stand by the door for a fresh faggot catch [because he can smell a few]
>>675251264
>>675251321
No MR Skeltal still in action ready to rob fuccbois of treasure. Just hav low calcum so hard 2 spook in quiet. Role for enter building
Niggerman
I heard a faggot, listening closely to subdue
>>675251178
[OP]
ANY THEIF WHO RETRIEVES AN ARTIFACT IS INSTANT WIN AND ABLE TO WALTZ OUT THIS BITCH, NOW A RICH MAN/WOMAN/DUCK
>>675251231
YOU MAY, JUST ROLL AND REFER TO THIS:
1-5 HEAR NOTHING
6-0: HEAR NOISE, INVESTIGATE
IF YOU HEAR NOISE, THE SECOND TO LAST DIGIT OF THAT POST DETERMINES THE FOLLOWING (000000X0)
1-3: YOU SEE A THIEF, THE NEXT THEIF TO ROLL IS SEEN
4-6: TRIP AND FALL CUZ MUH BUMBLIN GUARDA
7-9: YOU DECIDE ITS NOTHING
0: ALL THEIVES [[[MUST]]] ROLL IMMEDIATELY, IF 8,9,0 THAT THEIF IS CAUGHT
[OP]
>>675251513
I went through the window, now to find the stairs
(Swiper)
Moovin to da second floo
>nigg
>>675251513
[OP]
YOU ROLLED 3 SO YOU ENTER
1-3 IS ENTER. CHECK ABOVE POST.
[OP]
i roll to find niggers
>>675251992
i found no niggers
>john
Must find faggots
Niggerman
Keep moving
>nigg
i will try once more before giving up on my hunt for hoodrats
>john
>>675251884
Nice Swiper. Still try to fine window for myself to enter building.
>>675251872 be careful of this gard tryna brake our bons
-MR Skeltal
>>675251884
Fuck yesss, I hope these stairs aren't too slippery.
>>675252229
Oh shit nigga da fuck's dat noise?
>nigg
>>675252274
[OP]
GUARDS, JOHN IS DOWN. HE HAS FALLEN. LAUGH AMONGST YOURSELF BUT MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T SEE YOU DOING SO.
[OP]
>>675252314
I slip and fall on my face
>am i the only fucking guard here?
>fuck it
I check once more.
>john
I keep forgetting (Swiper)
>>675252537
I made it up the stairs
(Swiper)
Browneye reporting in
>>675252633
it would appear im very fuckibg bad at my job.
>>675252303
Fuccbois bewhere Im comin 4 treasures. In da building, role for move through floor/walk stares.
-MR Skeltal
>>675252389
Quiet Nigger your jordans are squeaky
>>675252766
roll to find skeltal
>john
>>675252537
[OP]
THEIVES DONT SLIP CUZ MUH TRAINING.
THIEF ROLL RULES:
1-3 is enter the building.
4-6 is move through current floor.
7-8 is ascend stairs/approach safe if on second floor.
If you roll a 9, you make a noise that raises SUSPICION.
Rolling a 0 is instant CAUGHT.
GUARD ROLL RULES:
1-5 HEAR NOTHING
6-0: HEAR NOISE, INVESTIGATE
IF YOU HEAR NOISE, THE SECOND TO LAST DIGIT OF THAT POST DETERMINES THE FOLLOWING (000000X0)
1-3: YOU SEE A THIEF, THE NEXT THEIF TO ROLL IS SEEN
4-6: TRIP AND FALL CUZ MUH BUMBLIN GUARDA
7-9: YOU DECIDE ITS NOTHING
0: ALL THEIVES [[[MUST]]] ROLL IMMEDIATELY, IF 8,9,0 THAT THEIF IS CAUGHT
[OP]
>i shall give into my bumbling guard ways and search once more.
>john
>>675252693
>>675252693
I shall slowly approach this safe.
(Swiper)
>>675252835
Ha ha too slow becos of no flesh can hide many spots. Role for stairs. No 0 pls thank
>>675252633
[OP]
NO THEY JUST DONT SEEM TO BE ROLLING.
JOHN PROMOTED TO SENIOR GUARD.
JOHN GIVEN SPAS-12 NO MATTER WHAT FLOOR.
IF JOHN GETS KILL, ALL THEIVES ARE "PANICKED" AND [[[MUST]]] ROLL, IF 0 YOU ARE CAUGHT.
PLAY OR DIE.
Browneye here
SORRY IM LATE FOR MY SHIFT! HEY WHERE IS EVERYBOD-
roll to catch that sneaky fox
>john
Am artifact plox?
>>675253221
Welp, sounds like nothing. Nothing at all.
>>675253221
you must be the new guard. help me look out for sone fuccheads
(Swiper)
>>675253047
*whisper* IVE REACHED THE SAFE NOW WHAT
(Swiper)
roll to find swiper again.
>>675253047
[OP]
SWIPER APPROACHES A SAFE.
SWIPER, TO LOCKPICK, YOU MUST ROLL WITH THIS FORMAT:
"LOCKPICK GET"
YOU MUST ROLL A FIVE TO UNLOCK THE SAFE.
>>675253177
Pls stares7-8 no 0 no spas brake bones.
-MR Skeltal
>john
i just wonder the building in search of criminals.
(Swiper)
>>675253458
Okay. *snifff* here we go faggots.
LOCKPICK GET
(Swiper)
>>675253462
78 no spas
-MR Skeltal
>thank mr skeltal for bringn me 7 or 8 get and also for many calcum n gud bones.
>>675253577
whatever. mustbe nothing. juat one sweep of the security cams before i pack it in.
>>675253365
Okay lets gettem
And THANKS AGAIN FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!
I just knew after i lost my gun id never get another guars job.
Thank you anon-guard senpai!
>>675253729
>wait browneye, did you hear that shit?
>i smell
>ghetto trash.
john
>>675253641
[OP]
LOCKPICK BREAK, BEWARE OF GUARDS WHO FREQUENT YOUR SPOT
[OP]
>>675253641
Dicks. LOCKPICK GET
(Swiper)
browneye kohai, ill check the vaultoom. you check the first floor. okay?
>john
>>675253888
[OP]
MAGICAL LOCKPICK EIGHTS
PREPARE FOR MINIGAME
ROLL TO DECIDE
[OP]
>>675253645
Cum on. Still stuck on 1st flore
-MR Skeltal
>>675253888
Swiper be carful browneye hurd sumthin
i get up from my embarrasing fall and try again
>john
John-sama
Ive spotted a thief!
Waiting for them to get closer to confirm identity...
Browneye
>>675246429
Rolling
Call me Shamrock
>>675254144
[OP]
SWIPER IN DANGER
WILL ANY THEIVES TRY TO DISTRACT BROWNEYE? ROLL FOR NOISE. MUST DECLARE NOISE.
[OP]
(Swiper)
>>675254028
I've never not wanted trips so much.
But I like games so let's a roll
(Swiper)
>>675254100
Gards closing in! Role to tak cynide so no torture for ware abotus of other theef friens. 0=cyanide success
-MR Skeltal
>>675254367
i shoot at swiper.
>john
Rolling
Call me...Allah
>>675254367
John-sama, Im moving in
HEY YOU!
Stop right there!!!
*shine light and draw weapon if i have one*
I is shouting ayy man who dis nigga down in da first flo? I hope dis helps muh nigga swipper
>>675254425
[OP]
JOHN FIRES AT SWIPER WITH THE SPAS.
SWIPER, ROLL TO DODGE.
1-3: DODGE
4-6: MAIMED
7-9:DODGE
0: HHHEEEAAAADDSSSHHOOOTTTT
i take another shot at swiper.
>>675254698
>nigg
>>675254719
This is Shamrock, I'm hearing gunshots. Is everything okay on your end?
>Shamrock begins searching for intruders.
>>675254399
MR Skeltal reporting capture. Cyanide pill fail. Pls steal treasure from fuckboys while john brakes my bones with shotgun. Gud night, gud luck.
>MR Skeltal died doin what he lovd n noin in his hart that mr skeltal was the 1 true god of calcum n gud bones. But no bones can withstand spas 12.
>>675254797
[OP]
WAIT FOR SWIPER ROLL, PLEASE JOHN.
AS A SIDE NOTE, IS YOUR LAST NAME RAMBO? YOU TRIGGER HAPPY FUCK.
[OP]
(Swiper)
>>675254719
Don't hit the tail! DODGE ROLL!
(Swiper)
>>675254921
oh, right
>john
>>675254944
[OP]
SWIPER MAIMED!!!!
SWIPER CAPTURE!!!!
FIRST THEIF FIRSR CAPTURE!!!!
-VUVUZELAS-
[OP]
i slap swiper with my BIG MEATY COCK
Rolling, call sign: niggerz
(Swiper)
>>675255050
AGH FUCK SHIT, IM SORRY COMRADES.
AND ILL REMEMBER YOU MR SKELTAL. I HOPE YOU GO TO A BETTER PLACE YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD
>>675249233
SWIPER NO SWIPING
QUADS SAYS SO
>>675255050
Attention all guards, this is Sergeant Shamrock, do you copy? Do we have intruders? Over.
>Shamrock searches for intruders while waiting for a reply.
>>675255336
[OP]
HERE LIES SWIPER
HE WAS ALMOST A BAJILLIONAIRE.
A GOOD MAN HAS FALLEN
CARRY ON, REMAINING THEIVES, SOUND OFF IF YOU PLEASE.
[OP]
>>675255414
i caught one good buddy im interrogating as we speak
>john
>>675255414
suck my fat cock - niggerz
> bash Shamrock in the head and rape his wife
I is not remember Where i was but gotta steal some shit
> nigg
alright criminal. i got a proposition for you... ill help you, and your buddies out with ghis little heist. but, i keep sixty percent, i git a wife and two kids back home, and 12 fiddy an hour wont do jack shit for them.
>>675255658
>john
>>675255658
[OP]
ATTENTION GUARDS
INTEL REVEALS A TRAITOR IN YOUR MIDST
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
[OP]
>>675255477
I'll never tell you where that Nigger is!
(Swiper)
>>675255792
like i said, im helping you
>roll for cracking safe
>john
*from last thread
Allah, John, move in!
I have visual on thief, callsign "swiper"!!
SEND BACKUP!!
Browneye
Crackin da safe while they suckin of eachother
> nigg
Oh hey youre in the interrogation room- i mean snack bar...
Whats up, John senpai?
Browneye
>>675255913
Oh well I'm okay with this. If you let me go I'll help you with that safe
(Swiper)
>>675256171
can do cunthead.
>john
>>675256222
Aw yes. Daddy needs a new tail
LOCKPICK GET
(Swiper)
>>675256171
.....Sen... Pai?..
*Rolling for reaction to treason
What do?*
>>675256376
just remember bitch , im taking sixty.
wait as a guard, shouldnt i know the combination?
>john
[OP]
THIS IS MY FIRST GAME ON /b/,
IM ENJOYING THIS, AND I HOPE YOU ALL ARE AS WELL.
I MUST GO TO SLEEP, RESPONSIBILITIES AND SUCH.
ALL THE RELEVANT RULES ARE IN THE THREAD.
KEEP ROLLING, THIEVES AND GUARDS. AND I SHALL RETURN AFTER MY SLEEP.
PLAY ON, /B/ROS!
[OP]
>>675256222
>>675256171
MR Skeltal speaks frum beyond da grave via spooky gost voice.
>Don't trust john Swiper, he just gonna use u to open safe then kil u for 100% profit. If he freeze u, kill him when u get a chants.
>>675246429
nigger beanz rollin for thief
>>675256579
re fucking roll
>>675256539
Thanks OP, I had fun. Needs some work, but all in all entertaining. Try again tomorrow I hope.
Gonna dump this here. Enjoy /b/ OP is not a fag :) https://www.dropbox.com/s/si4qgdyupftbuxt/22.3.16.rar?dl=1 12
>>675256532
[OP]
BEFORE I GO.
NO, THE GUARDS ARE HIRED HELP, NOT INTEGRAL TO THE BUILDING ITSELF.
[OP]
The amount of Street signs I've tapped in the past hour and a half. Fucks sake.
>>675256455
All. Alright then!
By the power of dubs and the honor of mall cops everywhere.
FREEZE DIRTBAGS!
*Gun aimed at John, flashlight pointed in Swipers eyes*
roll for trips
>john
>>675256759
i shoot at this mofo
>>675256683
>>675256759
Good job op.
Also, what do?
Real quick plez
>>675246429
Sounds fun
Codename Drunk
(Swiper)
>>675256683
Thanks OP, fun game all in all.
hope to play again another time.
I'll be leaving too but before I do I gotta try one more time. LOCKPICK GET.
imma go now too
>>675256873
>>675256859
>>675256759
John has to roll. 7-0=spas kills browneye. 1-6=browneye shoots john as he reaches for spas.
How could you, John senpai?!
You, thief! STEP AWAT FROM THE SAFE!
*cocks hammer back*
browneye
(Swiper)
>>675256948
Ah, fuck it. I was probably gonna get double-crossed anyways right Skeltal?
I'll steal another day.
>>675256873
[OP]
YOU LUCKY ANON
AND YOU MUST NOW ROLL AS IF YOU ARE THEIF
0 FOR CAUGHT/SHOT AT AND THEN
1-3: DODGE
4-6: MAIMED
7-9:DODGE
0: HHHEEEAAAADDSSSHHOOOTTTT
[OP]
>>675257053
[OP]
I ENDORSE THIS.
MY OLD RULES DONT COVER TWO GUN WIELDERS IN ENGAGEMENT.
[OP]
And so, the day is saved!
Thanks to the clutzy, airheaded, otaku guard...
Browneye!
>>675246429
No one has anything to say about OP's picture?