I have the power to teleport to anywhere I want.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I have the power to teleport to anywhere I want.
But you're naked every time you arrive somewhere after teleporting.
For me, it would have to be to freeze time and unfreeze time whenever I feel like it
>>675244930
But you can only do it it every other hour
My power is that i can shoot death lazers out of my finger when i flip people off
>>675245312
You can only flip off people who are on fire.
My power: I am immune to restrictions of any kind.
I have 100% luck
>>675245312
But you can't point said death laser at anyone. Mine would be to switch genders at will.
>>675245479
It's the wrong kind of luck.
>>675245559
If you switch genders more than one a year, you go nuclear.
>>675245468
you are no longer held by the force of gravity. have fun in space
The power to conjure cheese to existence at will.
You can increase or decrease your own strength, weight and size at your own will. You can also fly
>>675245668
I explode? Become Radioactive?
>>675246781
But only dick cheese.
>>675246936
A ton of dick cheese suddenly falls on top a pedestrians in times Square, killing them all. I love this power.
>>675247026
You are the smegman.
>>675243506
The ability to manifest imagination, to augment physical reality
>>675247081
Goo goo gachoo
>>675247151
kek
I get the power of edible bark which grows on my neck when it is daprk outside
>>675245468
You are immune to the restriction of death. Have fun!
I can reverse gravity at will.
Eg Earth's accel. due to gravity becomes -9.8m/s^2
>>675247150
You have eternal writers block.
I have the power to control peoples minds
>>675247229
The edible bark releases pheromones which makes you small like a dirty asshole.
>>675247354
>small like a dirty asshole
>>675247239
The moment you do, earth's orbit around the sun gets released, resulting in mass apocolpyse. YAY!
>>675247453
>>675247453
Big hand tiny phone. Sorry dad.
>>675247327
You can only control 19 year old Asian men.
>>675247524
>Big hand
Get your fat fingers to bed, faggot.
>>675243506
But your dick doesn't come with you.
Next question.
>>675246797
but it increases/decreases on your left side
>>675245633
subtle, nice anon
I am eternally recognized as the most influential scientist in history.
I create something that proliferates the human race to beyond the heat death of the universe, and create immortality.
And also everybody likes me.
>>675248043
People only like you because they expect you to do more for them and want nothing to do with you socially or personally and they will never have sex with you.
>>675248144
I've had two girls dump me because they said I was too good at sex.
Neither of them knew each other to my knowledge.
I am okay with this.
>>675248228
Clicked the wrong post, or do you have a tenuous grasp on how replying works?
>>675248043
But you have a small penis.
>>675248326
It's just a poorly worded reply.
>>675248416
You were a poorly performed abortion so it evens out.
I get to control all elections in the world
>>675248534
My mom is mormon
>>675243506
Full manipulation of biomass, all the way down to DNA strands.
The ability to stop and re-start time at my will (no physical items required) without any aging problems.
>so stopping time, would stop my aging process as well.
>I've thought about this too much
>>675248639
Congratulations.
>>675248628
The elections are rimited to Japanese men but onry 5 at a time.
>>675248228
You probably have death grip. "too good at" means you lasted too long and they got bored.
>>675248628
But all the viable candidates are fuckheads.
>oh wait
>>675248713
But you forget all biology when you sleep
>>675243506
I can directly influence probability, ensuring that the outcome of every action I take or are aware of goes however I want it to.
>>675248716
You can't have an erection during stopped time
>>675249111
You can only influence up to a 0.04% difference.
>>675249111
you can only do it by making things you don't want to happen less probable.
Omnipotence
>>675249396
Impotence
>>675243506
>every time I get dubs, I gain the ability to rewrite reality on a personal (5 meter radius) scale
>every time I get trips, I gain the ability to rewrite reality on a local (10 mile radius) scale
>if I get quads, I gain the power of dubs once per day
>if I get quints, I gain the power of trips once per week
>>675243506
The ability to always one up someone else's joke with a better punch line
>>675249349
>Things he doesn't want to
>less probable
>less
>he doesn't want them at all
>>675249457
You remain a newfag forever, clinging to hope that you'll get dubs in spite of it only being a 1/10 chance and as such is nothing special.
I can read people's minds
>>675249526
But no one understands it besides you.
>>675249526
45 minutes after it's too late.
>>675249457
Everytime you post your ALS develops more
>>675249660
You can only do it while in the shower
>>675249660
But they know exactly what you're reading.
i can manipulate atoms to my will
>>675249660
But only people who are related to you while they have sex. you cant turn it off.
>>675249840
One at a time.
I am 100% in control of all of matter, at all times unconditionally.
>>675249840
Only in a static frame of reference
the ability to spin webs
>>675249049
>because that's how powers work
Guess I'm never passing biology, but at least I can optimize bitches, myself, and reset the ages of whoever I feel like. When I'm not shapeshifting into an eldritch abomination and flying to Mars to separate tissue samples from my body and transform them into a race of demigods before shedding more tissue and covering Mars in alien flora.
>>675250034
of deceit.
I'm able to shapeshift.
>>675250001
But, though meditation, you have achieved a transcendent state and you do not experience corporeal life.
>>675250081
witty
>>675249139
Fine by me, I don't have a dick.
>>675250110
into poorly drawn 2d shapes
>>675250221
You never will with that attitude.
>>675250221
Curses, I've been foiled
>>675243506
I have the power to ejaculate Dittos.
>>675243506
I can manitpulate probablity
>>675250266
100% okay with that. Pretty happy with my vagina.
>>675250001
however you're still a faggot
>>675250373
They come out in pokemon egg form and the first rips your dick to pieces on its way out.
>>675250132
fuckin'5starpostnigga.jpg
>>675250110
Only into things on the front page of /d/
To be the Pied Piper
>>675250552
Your lips fall off.
>>675250552
You are only attracted to girls that are at least half your age plus 2.
The power to suck unlimited amounts of cock
>>675250635
You always kinda want a Yoo Hoo but you don't feel like walking to the store for one.
>>675246616
Topkek
>>675243506
Make my dick invisible to fap in public
cum goes invisible too
>>675250635
You'll always feel picky and unsatisfied with the cocks you suck
>>675250737
You can't help but moan loudly while fapping
>>675250635
You get kind of ugly after 30 and men won't commit to you.
>>675250737
Everyone can smell your semen, it puts out a really fucking bad odor
>>675246781
You become lactose intolerant
Ability to turn into a Danny Phantom style ghost at will
>>675250915
But you actually just turn to danny phamtoms boice actor
>>675250915
Your show gets cancelled and you never come back.
>>675250915
You can only do this when within 15 Meters of someone named will
Mine is absolute authority over anyone at any time
I am able to be the best at whatever I do.
>>675250714
hahahaha
>>675250915
Danny phantom has a new art director. Changes him to look exactly like you look right now.
>>675251088
>Mine is absolute authority over anyone at any time
They ignore your authority because you're a dick about it.
>>675251103
You can't do anything except for be in a Coma, but you look fabulous while doing it
>>675251103
You spend all of your time shitposting on 4chan.
>>675251103
But you only like cleaning floors with your tongue
>the power to make green text invisible
>>675243506
I can convert my bodily fluids into any substance I want as they're leaving my body.
>bleed gold dust
>spit cocaine
>piss gasoline
>sneeze diamonds
>jizz...semen, I guess
Be interesting to piss world-class booze or a protein shake. Surprised I never thought of this power before.
>>675251273
>all other text becomes invisible
>except the carat
>
>
>
>>675251200
Dammit that's all I've ever dreamed of.
The power to cure any sickness but i have to transfer that sickness to myself
>>675251343
You get captured by Donald trump and are forced to shit oreos and piss champagne for all his friends
>>675251403
And it triggers once, taking all diseases and ailments into your body on Earth simultaneously.
The power to stop being an extreme faggot at will
>>675251545
Will doesn't care of people are faggots to him
>>675250484
>come out
So, what, my semen coalesces into an egg midshaft?
>>675250997
>Turn into David Kaufman
>I'm sort of ok with this
>>675251088
>Kidnap Will Smith
>Good times will be had
>>675251545
You choose not to.
>>675251545
But you cant ever acces the web again
>>675251511
well i don't know if that would be bad.
>>675251403
All forms of sickness that you can absorb are cured 2.3 seconds after you acquire powers. You become useless and die alone.
The power to cum potatoes
>>675251699
Because you can't die from any of them and you're stuck living like that forever.
>>675251722
i'm actually being useless and i will die alone.
The ability to manipulate reality as I see fit
get to have cute human adult lady madly fall in love with me and we have sex all day not kinky
The power of having a the dick of my father in my ass everytime.
>>675251763
Restriction: the potatoes stay the same size while leaving your dick
Enjoy having a split dick
Ill have the power to infuriate women during their periods
Thunderpants level fart power.
>>675251763
Each potato is actually one of your nuts
>>675251888
Dick is fatter then potatoes so what now?
>>675251915
Are you sure you don't already have this one?
>>675251931
But you have no anus
>>675251763
You can never stop ejaculating potatoes. They fall out of your pants wherever you go. You are shunned from society because nobody wants your dick potatoes.
>>675251931
No drawback, I don't even care.
>>675251403
sickness are also transferred to the people you love or hold in even the faintest positive regard.
>>675251874
you only have 3/20 vision
>>675251978
Probably go see a doctor.
>>675251999
But then id cure world hunger
>>675251877
She doesn't shower for days at a time
I have the power to play video games all day with no consequences.
>>675251981
Yes. We men are superheroes
>>675252140
But nobody wants your dick potatoes
>>675252140
The Irish would be so fucking done with potatoes again
>>675252059
aaaaaaand suddenly everything now exists on a scale making 3/20 vision the standard of perfect sight
>>675252206
But only offline
The ability of being a cute girl.
>>675252206
Don't you already do this?
>no income
>no friends
>no life
>>675252206
>but you're a fat asshole with no life
>>675252358
cute but unattractive to all guys
>>675252358
With a dick
>>675252206
There's a risk of a sudden power outage ruining your playtime for an hour
>>675249660
All of them, all of the time
>>675252358
Cute from the face up. The rest of your body is mutilated because you were a man before your sex change.
>>675252358
But every other girl is somehow cuter
>>675252358
Every time you use this power you become a feminist
>>675252206
the only video game is kinetic adventures
I wish for a Stand.
>>675252520
Kek
The ability to not being a fucking useless piece of shit in my worthless life.
i can shape shift into anything animate or inanimate
>>675243506
The ability to create flavours, e.g. colour, music genres, etc.
>>675252590
Your stand is The Lock
>>675252621
But only on opposite day.
>>675252621
But you die
>>675243506
My power is to be able to make whatever i want to happen, happen no questions asked.
Eg. Dam that girl is fine, wish shed fuck me - BAM, she fucks me. Nobody questions it not even my gf.
Eg2. Wish i was a billionaire - BAM instant billions in bank account nobody questions where it came from
Eg3.wish i could fly - BAM im flying like superman and nobody questions how.
Check mate fags
>>675252621
You are used by everyone around you. So basically no penalty, just normal.
The ability to respawn upon death and retain all knowledge of past lifetimes. I can also spectate other people's lives so I don't miss important shit in case on of you was gonna suggest long respawn times.
>>675252621
You become a terrorist sympathiser and join ISIS because allah brings meaning to your pathetic self.
>>675252715
You have to wait 10 years for it to happen, and this can never be sped up or removed.
The abilitty to fuck this bunny
the ability to shapeshift into anything
>>675251877
Its a 400lb transgender. Have fun
Ok my ability is that I can see the face of a playing card by looking at the back
>>675252638
But only parody versions of them
I am the prettiest femboy in the world
tbh would strangle another human for this
>>675252865
While you have the ability to fuck the bunny, you never feel as though it's the correct time and you never do.
>>675252715
But every wish you make gives you a lightning power shock to your genitals
>>675252715
1 time charge. You get put into a vegitabolic state after your first request, therefore having no brain activity.
>>675252804
You respawn as four-legged animals
Different animal each respawn
>>675252804
everytime you respawn, you end up in a country/ home worse than the last
>>675252901
You be banned from every gambling facility on Earth.
10 years later, wish i could reverse time 10 years but still keep my powers. BAM.
Not only am i basically god but i also have 10 years worth of life knowledge. Ill know what to avoid and what to change to make my life better. Not that it matters with my power anyway
>>675252929
Everyone else realizes that traps are a stupid meme and nobody is interested in you.
>>675252929
but you have 24/7 herpes outbreaks and can only fuck other hsv positive fags
>>675252901
You never want to play cards again.
>>675252804
You respawn with down syndrome
>>675253057
In 10 years, will you be any better at using 4chan?
>>675252638
Become completely retarded after doing so.
>>675252977
Wish i was immune to electric shock
the power to enjoy the little things of life
>>675252715
Each time you use your power your brain also releases 2g of LSD
>try harder kunt
>>675253080
I dont give a shit m8
>>675253094
Well fuck Ill try and persuade some fuckboi scientists to make a cure with my charm
>>675253057
>my power is the best I'm better than all of you
Grow up kid.
>>675251488
>held captive in Trump Tower
>after amusing himself by feeding his friends my shit and piss, Trump has me piss the elixir of life
>Trump regains youthful vitality, gains immortality
>Trump 2016
>I go against orders and shit out a turd-sized clone of myself
>clone sets me free, I shit him a hot qt3.14 a few hours later
>still trapped in Trump Tower, but at least I can scratch my balls now
>>675253057
You can rewind time, but not your ageing process.
>>675253259
Like your dick.
>>675243506
The ability to make anyone stop posting on the internet, anytime I want. No more newfags. No more faggot OPs.
>>675253008
Wish i had the cure to every illness/sickness/disease that causes vegetablism written down in my notepad and the right doctors equipment to fix it
>>675252715
After acquiring this power all you can think about and what to do is suck cock.
I wish to be able to intervene in fate in subtle ways. Perhaps placing something somewhere gets me the girl, maybe I can influence coin tosses for desireable results, etc.
>>675253164
Haah i knew someone would notice that. Probably not anon
>>675253259
You do already. There just isnt enough of them.
>>675249877
that is cruel, you are mean
The ability to spawn anything asked of me to give people.
I.e. asked for a light for a cigarette, spawn a lighter for them. Asked for money off a bum, spawn money for them
>>675253371
str8 up this is one of the most autistic posts i have ever read
>>675253371
This costs you a random memory every time you do it
>>675246616
This was pretty clever, anon.
But I suppose you already know that.
I'm just confirming your suspicions.
Hue huehue
>>675252715
Your boyfriend leaves you and you accidentally wish you were dead.
BAM!
Faggot.
>>675253352
>>675252715
Also looks like you are the fag now.
And check mate.
>>675253563
People only ask you to spawn dildos, and only for the purpose of slapping you with them.
The ability to fix, heal or repair any object, creature or item, living or dead, in the entire known and unknown universe, at the same time. This means i can be immortal, make things immortal, prevent diseases, heal tards, land whales or nigs, fix every terrorist issue by simply healing or repairing the injured people and buildings, i can make me people, animals, plants and things come back to life or anything. I'll be riding a Tyrannosaurus that I healed from fossiled bone to Trump's swearing in cermony /b/, try and stop me.
>>675253589
>implying 4chan isnt autitic already
Faggot
>>675253563
You must spawn it, show it to them, and not give it to them.
>yeeep, that was a preeetty dick move I'll admit.
The power to have any power I want at any time
>>675253649
Thats all i think about anyway
>>675253731
It takes 50 years to process your fix/heal/repair request with a 5 year cooldown.
>>675253371
You cant use it for yourself. You can make others happy though.
Stop being a selfish faggot and be a brooding faggot whos always where theres love and luck
>>675253731
For everything you heal or fix, something equivalent elsewhere is afflicted or broken with that which you fixed.
>>675253797
You are now a 4D being and have 4D being problems. So really you are just average on a higher plane.
>>675253797
But every time you want a new power you have to jerk off the nearest bulldog to get it
>>675253797
the only power you ever want is the power of shapeshifting into a flimsy bench near any and all obese people that always attracts them to you.
I wish to train in a monastery as a monk.
The ability to turn invisible for as long as I want at any time I want
>>675254339
They reject you
>>675253862
Well then you are in luck
>>675254380
You forget you have the power and never use it.
>>675254380
only while you hold your breath and close your eyes assuming they restrict vision.
>>675254380
Someone always manages to run you over
>>675254380
But every time you uncloak from invisibility you are naked and have a banana up your ass.
>>675243506
I have the power to instantly kill all who oppose me.
Fuck your restrictions, you're ALL dead. Except Abbi. Bulldogs fucking suck.
>>675254510
>I have the power to instantly kill all who oppose me.
You feel conflicted once about anything and you die instantly.
>>675254510
But when they die they are reborn as 8 foot tall niggers that spawn behind you.
>>675254510
Nobody opposes you and you become useless
>>675254510
You can only kill people who's full name you've read or heard
>>675243506
The power of absolute static (no change).
>inb4 my power applies to using my power.
>>675254587
i was going to say that before he can kill a person he has to kill himself first.
>>675254624
>nobody opposes you
That means he gets everything he wants
>>675254510
I have the power to become anyone, so fuck you I'm Abbi, you can kill them but each time you kill one of them 5 of them come back from the dead
The power to remove poop from my ass without having to go through the annoying and time wasting process of taking a shit
I have the power to control all hive/colony insects at will.
>>675254754
You are a bitch of the highest order, pooping is one of the most satisfying things you can do.
>>675254754
You can only bypass your asshole, meaning all the shit appears in your pants or in the toilet if you are sitting on one.
I have the power that grants me a genie with 3 wishes.
1) No restrictions to my wishes and or powers.
2) Infinite Wishes
3) Immune to all diseases.
F you all I win.
>>675254684
Hm. I was going off of the assumption that all he wanted was to not have any restrictions on his powers.. So I'll switch my answer up. You have to consciously try to kill them, so any ambush and you're fucked.
I have the power to make any human do my biding.
>>675254831
You have to serve the queen of the hive/colony you wanted to control, so you cant control the queen, it controls you.
>>675254912
none will be fullfilled however, as you did not specify this
>>675254912
The genie is a bitch and only gives you an old shoe
>>675254912
>3 wishes
>Infinite wishes
Why even bother?
Also, monkey's paw. You gotta be specific about the wish or it turns out not how you planned
>>675254912
I find a genie and wish that you never found your genie.
Play the fucking game proper, fam.
My shitty life never changes.
HAH I WIN
A
H
I
W
I
N
>>675254912
The genie has power beyond reality and may very well judge that you no longer deserve his grace.
>not even close faggit.
I have the power to think of any face or name and, at my will, turn them into a tard
>>675254997
I wish that they would be fulfilled, infinite number of wishes bro
the power of taking my half lifetime and transfering it to my dog
>>675254964
but you have to show them how to do it first, for example to make someone suck your dick, you have to suck your own dick first so they see how its done.
I can carry on going outside at night and killing more homeless people without getting caught, all evidence from past killings is erased.
>>675255177
its converted into dog years.
>>675255177
Your dog wanders out into the road and gets hit and killed the next day
>>675255177
You would have died tomorrow so your dog has half a day to live. You spend the next 24 hours knowing you killed your dog with your wish.
>>675255148
well I wish for a tasty birthday cake and the ISIS wishes for more carbombs, but that doesnt mean its gonna happen senpai
>>675255100
Since you never acquired an ability, you didn't even play the fuckin game. Disqualified.
The ability to enter cyberspace and edit everything (ex. I can rewrite peoples emails, change bank accounts) without leaving a trace
>>675255224
The homeless people are ninjas
I have the power to forget the fact that i have a power to forget that i have a power of forgetting my power of forgetting my power.
Cant wait to see a downside to this.
I now have the power to change my physical attributes, height, weight, body type, gender, voice, skin color, etc. Anything really, at will, and always knowing exactly how I look without needing a mirror.
>>675255177
Except you age at 10 times the rate after the transfer, so your dog has to watch you die
>>675255465
amazing
>>675255487
You remember
>>675255496
you can only make everything worse, as in you can never make your self taller, only shorter.
i would like to have the ability to not get mad.
>>675255465
the purge 3 weeaboo white knight moralfag revolution
My powee? Anons on /b/ cannot change my powers.
>>675255419
You might not leave a trace, but people notice that messages have been fucked up and bank accounts have been hacked. While it can't be traced back to you, people will lose trust and use other methods of getting shit done. You become useless.
>>675255645
They are ninjas
>>675255575
but then i use the power and forget it.
>>675255487
You walk around with tattoos on your body everywhere reminding you of your power
>>675255496
No matter what change into though, people always look at you in disgust and find you extremely unappealing, also you smell like a waste bin for 3 hours after each transformation
A have the power to fart gas that kills all Jews around me
>>675243506
I've always wanted to stop time like Guldo from DBZ
>>675255733
however before aquiring this power, jews decide to immigrate to mars
>>675255733
You live in Harlem
>>675255645
People then take advantage of you since you never get angry.
>>675255635
So I will ultimately become a stubby, fat, scratchy-voiced nigger tranny? Damn. That's harsh.
I have the power of no longer having crippling insomnia
>>675255723
>You walk around with tattoos on your body everywhere reminding you of your power
but being reminded of it would just make me forget it again, so i think i would eventually just get the tattoos removed as i didnt remember getting them or know what the hell they are telling me.
>>675255141
>tfw no one has restricted your power
>>675255701
The post never specified which board changed the powers whereas you did. Therefore, move to a different board, change your powers.
>>675243506
I have to the power of not being a faggot on /b/
The power to speak with mayonnaise
>>675255949
Eternally a newfag
>>675252886
>lady
>400lb transgender
The power to stop babies from crying in public.
>>675255733
the fart gas attracts niggers.
I have the power to live an ordinary life.
>>675253619
Haha ongy?
>>675255903
You get 3 other crippling diseases.
>>675255919
Thinking of anybody's face/name turns you into a tard before you can turn them into one
>>675256008
They become yours
>>675255912
doesnt that seem kind of like a downside though? being stuck in a loop where you constantly forget-remind-forget? youd go mental for sure man, and you have literally no distractions
ah fuck it.
You always have a big blue drop in your eye lense that changes shape and direction and oscures your vision, theres no way to remove it without you dying
>>675255993
It hates you
I can produce infinite semen all the time
>>675256049
That's not restricting that's negating
>>675255903
You now have ebola instead
>>675256129
You are female
Rape vision
>>675256093
Shouldnt the downside be somehow related to the power?
>youd go mental for sure
Not if i removed the tattoos.
>>675256231
Only works on sandniggers
>>675256134
Alright then, you can only turn someone into a tard temporarily, but you can only use your power 10 times before you become a full blown tard for life.
>>675256041
>>675256169
Those seem like steep stipulations for replacing the need for a sleeping pill
>>675256227
Shieet
To be able to control the elements and forces of nature.
Periodic table elements, not just avatar shit.
>>675243506
the power to give any girl the ass in that pic, and they love me for it
>>675256279
Fine by me, some of them are OK looking, plus they get stoned to death when they get raped.
>>675256251
doesnt say so in the OP, and obviously theyre unremoveable regrowing tats
Gonna dump this here. Enjoy /b/ OP is not a fag :) https://www.dropbox.com/s/si4qgdyupftbuxt/22.3.16.rar?dl=1 4
>>675256358
You have no idea what the elements are or what you're doing with them
>>675256361
They only think of you as a friend
>>675256358
You must carry the periodic table wherever you go, you'll never remember them, and you must balance them
>>675256410
The Dropbox is empty
I can rock and roll all night
>>675256645
You cannot party every day
>>675256645
You can't party everyday
I have supersonic hearing
>>675256393
still pretty much just a downside overall, i wouldnt want unremovable tats that tell a confusing story.
And the fact that they are regrowing would make me a millionare, nobody would be able to explain that shit.
>The Catch? Other anons get to decide a restriction for your superpower.
OP 2016
>>675256737
All you hear is people calling you a faggot
>>675256737
You can't turn it off and there always seems to be 5 people following you everywhere yodelling as loud as they can.
>>675256832
They are an ninjas
>>675256832
yodel me up inside
>>675256358
Like the avatar, you spent a thousand years in ice; However you woke up a vegetable, unable to control your own body. The god-like version of Stephen Hawking
I have the power to un /thread
>>675256979
You never want to use it
>>675256979
The thread fills with ninjas
I get a girlfriend whenever I want
>>675257158
She likes to party all the time party all the time party all the timeeee
>>675257158
She is an ninja
