ITT : Tard Stories Please contribute >be me >12 >at
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT : Tard Stories
Please contribute
>be me
>12
>at school library to get book
>looking at one shelf
>in my school there is only one bookshelf that is actually decent
>looking around for a good story
>kid comes by
>blonde hair, i can tell by his face he has downies
>find a book on video games
>alright
Note : I was a good tard spotter back in my day, because they didn't separate any of us
>decide to make small talk
>see he has minecraft book
>"Oh, cool. You like video games too?"
>"ye wats ur buk"
>"Oh, this?" show him book
>"can i hab buk"
>"Nah, sorry, I'm taking it out"
>"gib buk"
>explain to him calmly im getting this book
>"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
ohshitnigger.jpg
>he charges full force
>i raise my hands
>i hit him in the face
>he stumbles back
>"GIB ME BUUK"
>they called the tard wranglers
>"JEFFEREY CALM DOWN" the librarian says
>he starts dry humping me
>i kick him in crotch
>"EEEEEEEE"
>he drops his pants
>his uncircumcised dick is, i shit you not, at least 10" flacid
>humps me
>i beat him in the head with my book
>tardwranglers take him
>am suspended for 2 months for "violent actions"
>damn
First of my encounters with Jefferey. Tell me if you want more, ive got shitloads
Prettu funny so far
Continue OP.
>>675133665
They had minecraft books when you were 12?
>>675134649
it was phrase. i don't remember what it was but it was something video games, i was using it as an example
>>675134240
at your request
this takes place about 1 week after i get back
>be me
>walking down hall with friends
>we're skipping class because alpha as fuck
>jefferey is striding down the hallway
>like sliding his feet so he's almost doing a split
>walks past us
>lets out a post taco bell fart
>"HUE"
>i shit you not that was what he said
>his laugh was just the word 'hue'
>"Yo bro what the fuck man" my friend says, age 12
>"wut"
>"You just fucking shat"
>i didnt notice this until this point
>there was brown liquid pummeling down his pant leg
>"su wut"
>"It's fucking disgusting you fat bastard"
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>I duck because i know his wrath
>"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>the hallway is echoing
>my ears hurt literally
>he drops his pants
>my friend is frozen
>he charges
>mounts my friend ass bare
>humping him
>"EW WHAT THE FUCK BRO"
>Jefferey shits
>it's all on his shirt
>my friend donkey kicks his penis
>his dick has been kicked for the 2nd time
>he falls
>he grabs his pants
>he starts crying
>teachers come
>it looks like the kid was raped
>shit
We were able to testify against Tardo but he stayed because tardiness. once again, reply for more
>>675135726
moarr
>>675135726
come on op
shirley op will delivar
mooore
>>675136669
>>675136058
>>675136736
i was doing something. will continue now.
moar plz
>>675137376
Come on op come thruu
Keep em comin, it's been far too long since I've seen a tard thread. I'll post one in a minute.
>>675133665
>>675135726
As much compassion as I try to have IRL, I love stories where humans turn into monsters, no matter what's wrong with them.
So please, more.
>>675133665
>12
>minecraft
>came out less than 5 years ago
underaged b&
>>675134859
Underageb&
>>675133665
Deliver already
>>675138199
>>675138239
The fuck, he said it was just some book. He chose Minecraft at random. Shut up and enjoy the the tard rage OC.
OP, please don't let these fags discourage you! Please bring the moar!
>>675135726
one month after previous incident
>school party
>classical themed
>i'm betafag and know Mozart and Bach and Beethoven
>im going
>not many people are there
>maybe 25
>they prepared for this event, so all snacks are 70% off
>sweet
>get a metric ton of Mars Bars
>pop too
>sit in corner listening to music
>Jefferey has arrived 30 minutes late
>oh shit nigger
>DJ is faggot
>"Ayyy what song you want?"
>"mikal jaksun"
>"Classical?"
>"mikal gud"
>DJ doesnt want do be dickwad to potatodickwad
>plays micheal jackson
>Jefferey goes onto the dj stand and starts dancing
>wat
>he does a ballerina twirl (some dance move i dont remember)
>falls onto speakers
>they fall
>he falls on top
>grabs crotch
>shaking it furiously
>runs toward me
>"HEI ANON"
>"How do you know my name..?"
>"DUNNO"
>shoves crotch in face
>runs out into hall
>wat
>he is stealing food from the vendors
>shoves it down his pants after eating some
>it falls out leg hole
>skittle trail
>he turns around
>sees skittles
>keeps eating off floor
>this goes on for a few minutes before it runs out
>tardwranglers shut him down
Still got the moar.
Moar
>>675135726
That Kid is dangerous, holy fuck. He might rape some Children.
>be me, junior year
>some gathering of the whole school
>muslim tard escapes wrangler
>not sure how, she wore this belt with handles on it for easy restraint
>war cry of the tards
>YEUUUUEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH
>she's running
>she's running like the fucked up lovechild of the flash and sonic the hedgehog
>the whole school is witnessing this magical moment of a retard flailing around the gymnasium and her wrangler tiptoe-running to catch her
>stops on a fucking dime in front of my english teacher
>i see the fear in his eyes from the other side of the gym
>she grabs his dick
>over 1000 students sharing a giggle
I hate retards. Why are they allowed to be born still? The romans put them to sleep, why can't we?
>>675139140
I hope so because I genuinely enjoy hearing stuff like that on the news
>>675139204
>fucked up lovechild of flash and sonic
Kek
Anyone have the lance stories someone posted a while ago?
They are almost exactly the same as OP's stories. I'm calling bullshit, if a special Ed student sexually assaulted another student, they wouldn't be back.
>>675139508
Low quality Bait.
>>675139462
Hitler did too.
>>675139204
Muslim tard girls are better because they will try and please any male by sexual approaches even groping the male.
>>675139790
Wait, are muslim tard girls a thing? Does anyone else have stories, or is OP's a special (ha ha) case?
>>675133665
>be me
>at local bookstore in art section
>looking for biography of Gustav Klimt
>lameArtStudent.jpg
>suddenly a smell
>a large man in shorts approaches
>fedora.png
>seriously_fingerlessGloves.tiff
>he: "IS THIS THE SECTION FOR YOUTUBERS?!"
>me: "No, these are art boo-"
>DoILookLikeImWearingAUniform.webm
>he: "I NEED TO FIND THE BOOK BY PEWDIEPIE."
>me: "Well, maybe if you go ask a-"
>he: "EEEEH, ADULT COLORING BOOKS!"
>literally twice my size
>literally shoves me out of the way
>literally armpit in my face
>cheetohOdor.wav
>picks up book
>MINECRAFT COLORING BOOK
>CriticalHit.gif
>My HP hits zero and I black out.
Until that moment I always wondered who actually bought those fucking adult coloring books. Now I wish I didn't.
>>675139685
Mfw he's right, someone post the caps
>>675138651
Hall of cost
>dafuq is dis nigga talkin about? The price of Jordans before they became popular?
>>675139752
Yeah and he did good till he decided to be a retard himself and take a two front war. What's your point?
the moars
>be me
>in chorus
>singing and shit
>Jefferey is in chorus
>did i mention he sounds like a disabled chihuahua
>some how he got a solo
>oh jesus
>it's a Micheal jackson song
>he sings
>the class laughs when he messes up ALL OF THE WORDS
>"WAT"
>only 3 people in chorus know his wrath
>we duck in sync
>"RETARD!" shouted from back
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>he springs
>dropping pants
>the chorus teacher a mean sunnofabitch
>he walks to him and grabs him
>pulls him off
>he is finally expelled
Sorry for low quality, i'm not William Shakespeare and that's the last of stories, sorry
>>675139685
I don't even remember those
You can contribute moar now, i'm out of stories
>>675140043
Pic related, it's the downfall of humanity conceptualized in coloring book form.
>>675140116
He is a Trv Roman.
>>675133665
R U CHIPPO MAN ?
>>675140043
Was this a tardo or was he artistic.
FUCKING GOD THREAD, OP.
The chronicles of Neal
This one's not really funny, just pissed me off while it was happening.
>me, in morning choir
>morning choir was the choir practice that anyone could attend during the first period of school for the day
>literally anyone in the school could attend
>inevitably, a retard joins
>he's not super retarded, just socially awkward, like he can speak just fine he just can't carry a conversation well
>oh, and he shits himself
>this is choir
>breathing is essential
>i breathe his mashed shit stank for an hour every morning for a solid month
>thankfully when he stopped showing it happened all at once, i think the instructor put in a complaint
>>675140456
I was in the chipo man thread, was glorious.
>>675140468
>artistic
Found the Carlos.
>>675139995
That was me, not OP. She's not the only one I've ever seen but definitely the most noteworthy.
>>675135726
Literally crying right now...
>>675140796
Get off the fucking bus, Carlos.
>>675140676
Classic, timeless. Maybe real, maybe not. Either way, that dude's a fucking hero.
>>675133665
> be me
> 7th grade
> special kid loves me
> bugs the shit outta me, but I am chill about it
> In gym locker room
> I am sitting on a bench changing
> special kid comes up behind me and puts arm around my neck while I am in my skivvys
> tard strength is hard to ignore
> he is choking the shit out of me from behind
> People are laughing
> enoughIsEnough.jpg
> Flip specialbro over my shoulder onto the tile.
> Put foot on his chest and tell him to calm the fuck down.
People gave me shit about it for about a year, but I waited until my vision started to go before I did it.
I did whip the shit out of that lil fucker tho.
>>675140676
the best tard story I've ever seen
>>675133665
>be me
>high school senior, class of 2007
>be in web development class
>backOfTheRoom.jpg
>see tardo at the front
>harryPotterLookalike.bmp
>glasses, black hair, lanky nerdiness
>see him open a tab
>some cheerleader video
>unzips pants
>starts masturbating
>teacher is powerlifting coach, ex marine
>literally slaps tardo in the head
>shockedAtTheSight.png
>probably thought tardo was masturbating to ex marine teacher
>teacher loses job
>tardo is back in class after two weeks
>later gets expelled for jerking it in calculus to hot math teacher
>>675140103
Holocaust, sweetheart.
>>675142004
Holy shit! Applause to that guy for clobbering pervertard! I'd shake that muscular, testosterone-dripping hand!
>>675140676
Larger version of file? Can't read on droid too small
mfw this thread is gold
>>675143288
Open in other page
>>675140456
Disappointed to have missed this magic.
>>675139995
Muslim girls in definition are supposedly raised to be more obedient and submissive to males and muslim girls that are literally special needs to the extent are more approachable towards males in terms of sexual play and gropings like literally if your sitting next to one she will rub her legs against your legs.
We had a tard girl on the school bus that was a muslim and I know it isn't much but I was a beta fag and I did enjoy sitting next to her because she would grope me and would just rub her legs against me and she always had this innocent smile.
I one time had to sit at the sit that was infront of her and had my arm on the other side which made me look like I was just relaxing in the seat and she took my hand and placed it between her legs.
I wish I got to know her more and got her number but knowing about muslim people and her parents and social media crap I was suppressed from making the next step with her.
This was during highschool and it's been almost three years since then
>>675139685
wasnt he the furfag who mounted another girl then killed himself
>>675144574
>seat
Sorry typing from phone
Moar pls
>>675144574
Are muslim tard girls actually like this???
>>675133665
>12
> minecraft book
MODS