Lets get a high school stories thread up. Share all the crazy ass stories you had when you were in high school. Ill Start:
Might as well get the ball rolling here then.
>be me, senior in highschool
>gym class
>locker room is pretty tight spaced, not very large.
>a lot of fucking fags
>dicks hanging out
>one dude, known to be a druggie is staring blankly at a wall
>walk over to him
>"Yo, you alright?"
>Dude looks me in the fucking eyes and the back at the wall
>Suddenly startled, it seems, he fucking jumps up onto his feet
>he starts screaming "ITS ALL ON FIRE", running out of the goddamn locker room
>All of us in class run out to see where the fuck he is going
>He is running in the hallway towards the door of the school
>about fifteen minutes later the cops arrive, arresting him in near the park like half a mile away
Fuckin druggies man, im tellin ya
>Be me, in high school
>Taking a shit
>Hear some guy blow another guy in another stall
>Last time I heard of him he was making shitty threads on /b/
>be me
>grade 10 science
>some kids i know are bothering me from the row behind
>bullied kid for 10/12 school years
>turn around, tell them to knock it off
>put hand on table
>get stabbed by this fat fucking autist
>go to office, get bandaids
>say my pencil slipped, dont wanna admit i got it from a tard
>>675045734
that story was shit
but bump for potential
Bullied anon again
>be me
>grade 9
>kay everyone lets introduce eachother
>anon russian last name ends in vich
>get called bitch for grade 9
>in woodshop
>bullies make me too afraid to do classwork or go near machines
>these asspies are drilling into wood with the drill press
>removing the drillbit and burning peoples necks
>worst class of my life, passed with 80
>did no work.
>>675046379
Kek
I'm not gonna green text because I'm on mobile and I'm lazy but here's my story. I was at a friends house for a Christmas break party. This friend of mine is like famously rich and his house is massive, like absurdly big in a good location. I'm just relaxing by the kitchen counter when this girl I've been talking to walks into the room. Let's call her Megan. Megan is tall (5'10), pretty, thick, with jet black hair. Her tits are huge and her ass is perfectly round. Needless to say I really want this girl
> Above average girl in my classroom is caught sucking the dick of a guy a couple of grades above us
> I was like 14 at the time
> Fap furiously when I get home just for hearing the story
> She was expelled the next day
> Never hear from her again
That's pretty much it.
>be me, 5th grade
>autistic little kid
>working with autistic paper
>ripping out stapple like autist
>staple finds itself into my thumb and out the thumbnail
>cry like autistic little bitch
>go to nurses office like autist
>escorted like autist
>go home like autist
>Now i have a scar to prove it, an autistic keepsake
>>675046806
More from the HS life of a bullied kid
>grade 9
>made friends despite being a loner
>they just came and sat with me
>got the cartman, hockeyfag, italian midget, and edgelord.
>cartman is an angry fatass,
>hockeyfag was ambiguously gay and loved hockey.
>italian midget was an italian shota
>and edgelord was an emo fag who always woar a sweater and had beard stubble
>we would always hangout out in the library
>one day we got kicked out of the library for being too loud
>they blamed it on me, edgelord said he always hated me for no given reason
>the day i learned not to trust other human beings
>>675047832
>continuing,
>grade 10
>banned from library during lunch hours
>just kinda sit in a corner with my lunch
>tfw no friends
>tfw nowhere to hangout and make friends
>cafeteria got cliquey in a hurry
>two faggots from my grade 9 science class come to harass me
>push me around and purple nurple
>hold back tears, only fags cry
>some jock from footbal team sees me
>tfw everyone thinks im cute but i cant get a nice bf
>faganon
>they find the assholes and beat them up
>>675047676
A grade 7 girl sucked off a grade 8 guy at my elementary school. She went to the same HS as me 'allegedly'. Had a new boyfriend every 3 days
>>675048427
>made new friends,
>my stories are not happy ending
>grade 9 kid, total dork, in band club.
>grade 10 kid same as me, emo
>grade 11 guy, coolguy mcbadass
>hangout at lunch talk about games and shit, share lunch
>tell me not to rip out my finger skin as much, it looks bad
Was a habit of self harm without being an attention whore
>they go sit at nother table eventually, emo guy likes some girl over there and music dork is fawning over this frizzy haired douchebag cuz hes "cool"
>at some point i started going back to the library, person who banned me was fired or w/e
>play kingdom hearts chain of memories on gameboy SP
>around this time as well i try to get everyone i meet to use my nickname and not my real name
>everyone would remember the nickname and forget me
>no one would bother me again after grad
>and no one did, 'remember that anon guy? Who was he again, i only knew his nickname'
i dropped a cardboard box above the stairs and it grazed the face of an asian girl not hitting her, just like a piece of paper away from her skin and she screamed like she was getting murdered
>>675045734
>be in chemistry
>be doing experiments with dry ice
>put some in a pop bottle
>fill up sink in back of room with warm water
>throw bottle in
>loud bang
>whole classes loses their shit
>half the teachers in that wing run to see whats going on
>teacher just says we were doing experiments with expansion
> get "A" for the day
not highschool but in elementary school me and a friend would steal a bunch of chairs and just have a hideout in a patch of woods between some soccer fields and some houses eventually the supervisors got suspicious so we decided to rat us out and said we think someone might have put some chairs in the woods
This thread us quite dead but i guess im happy for that.
I can reflect on the things that were horrible in HS without really bothering anyone
Bullied anon,
>things get a lil better in grade 11
>people that left me, people that bullied me, act like my friends
>everyone is friends with nickname, everyone knows nickname is a nice guy
>nickname doesnt mind lending a hand, giving up a seat or computer
>you should date nickname
>whis anon, does nickname know him?
>oh your nickname, well why didnt you say so.
>i began to fade, at the time I loved it, to be someone everyone and no one knew
>the fake me, everyone knew,
>the outcast me, hung out with other outcasts and played multiplayer games in the labs
>the real me just wanted high school to be done
>the experience is similar to a redpill i guess
>you meet so many types of people and see how awful they are
>in my heart I hoped, i would one day meet people i could tryst, i could laugh and joke with
>i did, eventually or atleast I thought I did
People drift away /b/, i thought myself strong enough that I didnt kill myself.
>pic relate is grade 10 emo in grade 12
>9th grade
>get a class project with a girl named katie
>want to fuck Katie really bad
>all class she drinks a vitamin water
>throws it in an outdoor trashcan
>come back to school 3 hours after its over
>find the trash can
>retrieve bottle
>proceed to drink remainder
>lick mouth piece of the bottle
>take bottle home and try to fuck bottle
>Dick doesn't fit in mouth piece.
>throw the bottle away
>23 years old now
>first time telling anyone that story
>>675047676
not much of a feminist here, but stories like this sadden me
expelled for sucking cock? i don't care if it was shitty head given in the boys' locker room, maybe give a suspension at most, but expulsion seems more than a little ridiculous
>>675048427
did you get banned for playing coolmathgames?
>>675051971
>not fugly
>actually pretty good looking by today's standards
Damn, why anon? I would understand if you looked like fucking roadkill, but you could have been so much better.
The saddest part of your stories is the wasted potential.
>be me
>~grade 10
>eat at local pizza ranch buffet with friends
>walking near local school district building
>the quaking of my stomach is of the Richter scale
>throw up so many chunks Campbell's wanted to name their next soup after that day
>all over district sign
>say fuck it I hate my super intendent(my friends and I vowed that if any of us got cancer that person would have to kill him)
>proceed to piss all over sign
>shit sign was orange for weeks
>later repeated but also puked in huge ford because how small was his dick for driving a huge ford
>>675052672
Yeah, the boy should have been expelled for mouthraping her.
Have a highschool faggotry story instead
>be me grade 9
>mom at work, cant pick me up from exams
>have to wait for bus
>grade 10 guy asks if I play dnd cuz i look like a dork
>only played it a few times
>has some of the books on him, asks if i wanna roll a character
>go to one of the empty computer labs
>character sheets and books and shit
>talk, just guy stuff
>tell him about the time a friend in elementary school gave me a handjob
>one thing leads to another and hes sucking my dick
>first and only blowjob
>bell rings, gtg have to catch bus. Uppity driver
>next year grade 9/10 and 11/12 have split lunches
>dont see dnd kid again
>>675052672
I think it's fair. School is for fucking learning, not learning fucking.
She could of t least waited until til school was over and blew him in the parking lot or somewhere else. Damn.
>>675045734
> Be 14
> Be autist
> tard wranglers are assholes
> can't handle their bullshit any more
> make quip about wanting to columbine the place
> they do nothing
And that was the day I went from angry to depressed. So fucking useless that they knew I wouldn't do it.
>>675053374
Because I hated people since my first year. I hated the people I knew would leave me cuz I was too shy and loserlike to stay for. I hated the shallow bitches that were on the way to being apple product sheeple. I hated the new grade kids that acted like hot shit.
You see wasted potential because you didnt live in my shoes.
If i knew then what I knew now It wouldnt be wasted. My sad stories wouldnt be sad. It would be bisexual anon the high school slut or some shit.
>>675053511
>in grade 10
>been talking to this girl for a few weeks
>says her boyfriend is sick and is gone
>she says she wants to fuck
>we meet up during core and go in girl bathroom in stadium
>starts fucking in stall
>hears footsteps
>she peaks under stall and coincidentally it's her friend
>whispers if shes down to join
>fucked both in stall
Got away with it, the 3 of us still meet up still to this day
>>675054225
Damn, you sound like you were the type of person I would have absolutely despised, but at least you say you've learned.
Hell, I was ready to type up a whole hate-paragraph before I read the end of your post.
>>675054560
>>675054560
I would contribute some stories, but mine are pretty bland and shit.
>>675054040
location wasn't stated, but point taken
all the same, kids often blow off learning at least a few times in their life, so learning blowing still seems to me to be more of a venial sin
>be me
>grade 9
>at lunch at a shitty ghetto school; white kid
>go to food line and get my shit
>sit down, talk with friend, feels good mon
>but_wait_there's_more.gif
>near the end, these two kids get butthurt or something and are ready to fight
>everyone backs away from their chairs while i still sit there at the table unfazed
>these redneck fucks go at it for like two minutes
>just sit there and watch while slowly eating baby carrots
>the carrots weren't actually half bad
>>675054124
did you transcend autism and anger and become a model citizen?
>>675054878
Wow a whole hate paragraph? That like 1%of a complete hate essay. Im glad you didnt bother if you're note gonna put A+effort into it.
Life aint easy, there are plenty of people like me who are just guarded like me. And plenty of people like you who dont quite get it and hate us instead.
Its whatever, i was an easy target for a lot of people. I am who i am today because if all those things.
You can stull write your hateograph. When the thread 404's it will be like we never existed.
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>>675055635
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>>675055635
You did me a real frighten, sir.
>>675055345
Damn, turned my own word fuckery against me.
I still think that what you're taught in High School is important enough that you said wait until after school, after school is out, or college before you "blow' your brains out.
And if you need an example of important education, I'll list some shit kids at my school couldn't be "bothered" to learn:
>How court works
>How the government works
>Basic science
>How to structure a sentence
>How to not sound like a tard when writing an essay
>Grammar
>Punctuation
>How to figure the amount of interest you get on a savings account
>How to file taxes
>How to personally finance
>How to not get STDs
>How to work "da internet"
>>675055494
For a beautiful 4 years for last 2 years of hs (did grade 12 + a stat-padding year) + 2 years of uni I did, then bipolar kicked my ass and I am on the verge of failing out if I don't drop out first.
>>675055612
God dammit anon, you got me laughing, and then you just got me.
I know how "guarded" people are. I was like that for Middle School and Freshman year. Then I saw how that was not the right way to live life. Now all I feel is hate and disgust for people who go on feeling and thinking that way because their too caught up in themselves to see anything else.
And I always hate the idea of a thread 404.
>>675056519
I, too, hate 404s
>>675056519
Its not easy to break out of man, not for me. Though I go for an abstract kind of guarded. Im afraid of people blackmailing me, i casually tell my secrets, they cant be used against me if theyre public knowledge. But I dont show my feelings very well :/
For thread 404s i wrote this up for a suicidal anon a while ago
>>675057022
Are you me? Anyway, I like you anon
Sup. Meet Javiela, my fucking bitch of an ex. She fucks some nigger while her friends watched and I figured it all out. She liked to get in the ass and she has a really nice pussy. It's payback time. Here's some fuck videos we have https://mega.nz/#!GdgiRLAI!pcmfB60MhqSIiFLfcWGfY1p5Deort3Stu2h-Z82olvQ enjoy /b/ 25
>>675057022
Damn, so many good references. Makes me want to shed a tear.
>>675056979
You too? Damn, this is becoming a feels thread. Also, this is pretty autistic, but I really, really, really like this picture.
>>675057391
The end of my post that started this though. I made good friends in college but lately we dont talk as much, drifting away. I just feel more depressed. I need to make friends where im living atm.
Im mort likely not you, i made that post after watching zootopia and reading about absurdism
>>675057601
What could she have possibly done to deserve her private shit posted on 4chan? Or are you just scum like most of the other users here, without a moral compass?
>>675057945
Spam m8,
it's damn b8.
Call me /D/re
>>675053511
Another story of 0 fucks given
>senior year
>at lunch
>fire alarm goes off
>fuck this it's spaghetti day
>girlfriend irks me to leave cause that's what women do
>whatever
>grab a milk crate of little milk boxes and tray
>chill on curb outside eating with crowd of people laughing
>typical "I'm important" tardy assistant teacher rages
>principle walks up quenching the autism that is assistant teaching
>"Mr., anon took a crate of milk"
>principle says he'll take care of it
>"hey anon wanna hand me one"
He was a pretty chill guy, he cried during a tornado situation once but still chill. Quit after my class graduated because everybody knew the next classes went downhill from there
>>675057712
thanks lori
>>675058212
We have a bi-anon here, so no judge.
Also, since this is a pretty lowkey thread, no one would care anyway.
Lastly, are you fucking spam? 'Cause you sound like spam
Is the thread dying?
>>675058955
yes
>>675058955
No, some people pop in and share their stories
>>675051971
How do you look now I want those lips wrapped around my dick
>be me 10 year of hs
>in english class with friends
>new trashy whit kid comes in
>decide to be friends
>he brings dab pen to school
>says he'll let me hit it
>whythefucknot.jpg
>take 3 big hits from pen
>blow it all over the classroom
>teacher looks over at new kid throw the pen at him
>officers come down and try to arrest him
>he runs out of the classroom
>whole class runs out to follow
>im high as fuck
>cops tackle him and cuff him
>bell rings and all kids pur out off rooms and surround him and the cops
>they pick him up and take him to car hes screaming and point at the crowd towards me but to many kids to point out which one
>go to next class watch history movie high as fuck
>it was a good day
>cause i didnt have to use my ak
>>675059023
I've been here the entire time, but it stopped for like 5 minutes, so I thought it might have finally ded.
Bi-anon/bullied anon here.
Tbh what i hated most about myself back then was how vulnerable iwas despite my self thought 'guard'
I dont think youd call this a wasted opportunity. The cute emo pic related from before, i crushed on, asked out, got rejected. Stayed angry for a long time.
But after the rejection a 47 year old male tried to hit me up for pedo buttsex(cuz i was 17)
Met on mmo, lived in nearby city. Got out of it before i did something stupid
>>675059346
OP here,, ill share another
>be my brother
>on the same bus as i
>we are in middle school
>first picked up on dirt road at about 6:30
>brother mentions needing to go to restroom
>well nigga, gotta hold it now, we on bus
>Bus ride is about an hour long
>half an hour in
>brother screams
>Diahrrea has run down his leg
>streaming down the bus on a hill we are on
>bus smells fucking horrid
>chick in seat behind us throws up as result of smell
>get to school
>motherfuckers gonna be sick
>get off bus as quick as we can
>brother sent home
>trail of shit to the office
Fucking hilarous if you ask me
mfw shit was running down the aisles
>>675059061
Thats not me, thats a kid i crushed on.
The kid in picture though has bad jeans.
Same age as me, 22 but im still cute and he had abrief punk guitar phase and now appears to be balding. Sucks to be him.
>9th Grade
>Learned my parents will believe any lie a teacher tells them
>Learned evidence means nothing
>10th Grade
>Learned that projects and homework get "lost"
>Learned that hard work and obedience are meaningless
>11th Grade
>Talking to teachers doesn't help
>Teachers start lying that I'm making threats
>Parents believe them
>Carry tape recorder
>Use recordings to prove them wrong
>"Well, you need to be more aware and friendlier."
>12th Grade
>Think about suicide everyday
>Hate school
>Can't bother with shit
>Barely graduate
>Parents realize there was bullshit afoot
>Takes a long, long time to forgive them
It wasn't worth it. It just wasn't worth the damage it did to my mind.
>sophomore in hs
>firends and I are all massive dirty disgusting stoners
>hanging out in front of an in and out burger
>suddenly some senior kids pull up in their lifted truck
>all of them are super popular chads, all on the football team, and known by literally everybody
>they park in a handicap spot and roll their tires up on the sidewalk
>as they walk by we call them faggots
>One of them comes up to us
>takes off his shirt
>starts calling us pussies
>he gets right in my fucking face
>I can smell his god damn breath
>he's telling me hes basically going to kill me
>suddenly my friend punches him square in the fucking nose
>blood blast out of his nose at maximum velocity
>I dump my entire large dr pepper all over his head
>we sprint back to my car to get away
>they hop in their truck and try to chase us down
>Im going 75 on a main fucking street
>Scentless Apprentice on full blast in my car
>they literally follow us for half an hour winding through the suburbs
>finally they give up and we drive back to friends place
I nearly cried
I guess I'll finally contriboot. Be prepared for stories of autismic-levels.
>Be me
>Sophomore year (10th)
>In Theatre, paint sets all day for spring play
>One day, teacher went off to do whatever
>School schedule was messed up by testing
>Have theatre for 7 hours
>Played soccer in the gym with my 2 friends
>Walked around the entire school
>Hung out in the art class
>Had a bretty good day
>>675059815
How cute are you let me see
Bi-anon, wishing you all a goid night, may we cross paths in the future.
My tablet is at 5%
>>675060664
I do not take good pictures. I also do not personally believe im cute, thats the opinion of almost everyone else i have met or known.
>>675061212
Come on homo let me cum in you plz
>>675055345
Learning sucks, doesn't mean you learn to suck.
>be me right now
>school tomorrow
>anxiety and paranoia
>3:16am
> School at 7
>Drinking cause i want the noise to go away
>what do /b/
>>675049805
More of ur weird crazy russian/Ukrainian storys.
Also post a pic of yourself, people with storys like yours are smoking hot
>>675060586
Goin' to call myself /D/re from now on.
>Middle School
>All of the cool jocks jump over the rail between the stands and basketball court
>Biig class meeting one day
>As it's letting out, decide to do it
>Jump
>Feel like I hit something on way over
>Assume it was a person
>As I land I hear shouts
>Think I hit on of the pop girls and they're all angry
>Sprint for the exit
>Get to door, turn around, wave like a dumbass
>Go out door, sprint down halls to jr. high hallway
>Get to the class I'm supposed to have
>Wait
>After a few minutes, people slowly walk in
>They all give me looks and whisper to each other
>Can't figure out what they're saying
>Principal comes in
>Ohshit.thisgotreal.com
>Tells me to do wall sits
>Yells at me for a solid 5 minutes
>I didn't hit anyone, tard wrangler had seen me
>Her shit had flipped
>People thought I flipped her off at door
>Nearly cried when the Principal chewed me out
>Worth It
>>675062026
I do not have any good picture of self.
Im canadian not russian
Also afraid of people reverse image searching me :<
>be me
>grade 10
>plan on skipping one period with a friend, we do all the time and never get caught
>walk out side door towards this short cut away from the school
>everythings fine, everythings normal
>get across the street and close to the short cut
>three idiot girls run out the door screaming and laughing
>teacher sees them
Cont?
>>675062219
You have more than enough soace, why cant you write the whole fucking story
In sped (add and autists and ragers) gym class me and my buddy Ron were going through our daily tortures of old Justin the scraggly ass shit smelling mullet rocking retard when we finally broke him one day.
Breaking into a frantic run to the bathrooms on the opposite side of the gym, screaming at us all the while, Justin stops dead in his tracks 3/4 of the way down as we inform him that he had dropped something.
The silence was awe inspiring for the type of school we were in, it must have been ten seconds before Justin turns around.
Ten kids, an aide I smoked weed with, my favorite Jew math teacher, Ron and me were present at this point waiting to see if Justin was going to break another window or something.
Suddenly the most awful wail pierced the entire school... LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.
A part of me realized what had happened but I couldn't begin to imagine I was right.
Justin takes off at a full run to the bathroom, emerging ten seconds later with paper towels he runs to the middle of the gym and picks the object up with the paper towels.
At this point me and Ron were on the floor almost crying hysterically.
Justin runs back to the bathroom and we confirm with each other between our echoes of laughter that the hilarity had only just begun.
Whoooooosh Justin flushes the toilet.
The beauty of this moment would last a lifetime: We literally made this kid so mad that he popped a turd out that rolled down his pant leg and landed center court in front of 14 people.
The rest of the year was filled with laughs as we yelled LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO over and over. Everyone, teachers included, were in on the joke.
One of my proudest moments.
No more stories from this guy, can't type anyore out on a droid keyboard. Enjoy.
>>675062071
/D/re here
>Middle School again, I was boring in HS
>Sitting in boring ass Comm Arts class
>Reading some shitty book
>We're in groups of 5, and we had a tard, so I was a few pages ahead
>Friend was in group with me thankfully
>The table we were at housed a wooden duck in the middle
>bestideaever.tiff
>flip the duck
>FLIP THE MOTHER FUCKING DUCK
>Pick it up, flip it over, and place it on it's head
>Me and friend giggle like maniacs
>Teacher comes over
>Absolutely flips shit over duck
>Acts as if it was her most prized possession
>Asks who did it
>I panic so hard core
>Blame friend
>He of course says it's me
>No one else saw anything
>We get sent to the office
>Apologize to my friend the entire time going there
>As soon as we get in there "I didn't do nuffin'!"
>Both of us got ISD for the next few days
>Lost him as a firend forever
>He moved away next year
Pretty not worth it honestly
>>675062433
Didnt want to waste my time if no one cared, but, I'll take that as a yes.
>teacher starts yelling, saying he got pictures of us
>turns out that teacher was my chem teacher
>tells APs my name
>they call my dad
>dad starts texting and calling nonstop
>ignore because i dont want to get yelled at yet
>on my friends porch
>see him drive past
>tfw hes looking for me
>dont go back to school because i know im gonna get fukt by APs and my dad so i plan to wait until i go home to deal with everything
>enjoying my time while i can
>friend and i decide to head over to another friends house right down the street to smoke some pot
>get half way down the street and my dads friend sees me
>she calls him
>she drives me home
>awkward
>proceed to get rekt when i get home
>suspended for 3 days
I sucked off both the principal and vice principal multiple times to keep the school from sending me to court for truancy. They were both arrested on multiple charges of statutory rape and child pornography two years after I graduated
>>675063179
Stories thread anon. These are usually well read.
>>675063334
Have you told your parents that you're a fag?
>Be a 16 Russian Fuck
>Moved to the United States
>People Convince me to go to party
>Guys come up to me and ask if I want to smoke some weed
>Sure why not
>It's spice
>Thought it was just american weed
>Seven hits later
>Having Seizures
>People freaking the fuck out
>one of the guys tell everyone that he will take me to the hospital
>Drives me to the middle of nowhere fucks my ass and throws me in the ditch
>Sees him at school a week later with his girlfriend
>He knows I remember EVERYTHING
>>675064335
I'm just bi. Since I don't date guys no because it's never come up or been relevant
/D/re
>Junior year
>Jacked off several times during different classes
>Chemistry, Art, French, ACT Prep, on the bus
>Sames goes for Senior year
>Never get caught
I have stories about times I masturbated/got fingered in school. They were some fucking good times, I tells ya.
You guys want 'em?
>>675057601
Fuck you get your shit posts out of every thread on /b/
>>675065204
>got fingered
Sure
>Have three friends
>Have a gf
>One friend dies in car wreck by a drunk driver
>Another commits suicide after parents disown
him for being bi.
>Girlfriend gets hit by a drunk driver while walking
>Last friend gets shot in a robbery
>One teacher makes jokes that I cause deaths around me
>Keeps it up until end of senior year
>shunned
>Randomly tells lies about me, like I'm on drugs or into furry porn
>Says it was all a joke and I need to lighten up
>Ask him at the end why he kept doing all that shit
>He says because it was funny since I was having such a bad year
>Storm out of his room while he laughs
>He tells principal I made death threats
>Don't graduate due to legal horseshit
>Take him to court, get witnesses from rumor spreading
>Principal finds out it was a hoax
>Get my diploma in the fucking mail
>Doucheteacher asks us to drop suit
>Says he would have eventually fessed up, just wanted one last joke
>Sue him for about 600k
>He an heroes.
>Send his widow a vibrator and a handmade card that said "Good riddance".
>She an heroes.
>Become dead inside.
>>675055822
Kevin spacey is that you?
>>675065913
part 1 and 2 don't take place at school, so i'll skip 'em
>>675064739
Five months I had unexplainable seizures before realizing that my own blood was smoking fake fucking weed on the bottom floor while I was living on the top floor no windows.
Fuck that shit.
I threw my entire family out and stated 15 to 20 times to get them the fuck out of my life. I have permanent convulsions, hypertension, resurgent asthma from my youth, I can't go out in sunlight, my skin fucking busts open at random, I can't use soap of any kind, beauty products, scented deodorant and I'm homeless half the fucking time since they did me like that.
FUCK THAT SHIT
Do not smoke it near ANYONE unless you have a fishbowl over your head.
I also lost a 50 thousand dollar home, lost contact with every relative I ever had and I lost the freedom to appear to be a normal person.
Imagine shaking violently for the rest of your life. I constantly throw shit like glass cups from my hands involuntarily.
Here's the kicker: I didn't take a single fucking hit of spice for this to happen to me.
Fuck you fucking spice niggers you'll get yours.
>>675066402
Is this worth posting more of? Was supposed to be going to bed.
>>675066395
Yeah it was a real pain in the ass.
>>675066779
Yes
>>675067747
Re-reading these for the first time in a while. I am wistful. I miss this guy a lot.
>>675067747
God damn it, sounds like a dream.
>>675066851
I smiled, stay away from it anon.
Quarter of a century behind me and I feel every second like I'm speeding or dazed, dizzy, hot flashing, confused, babbling unless typing.
I also gained a heartbeat after this shit. Two beats, two more then three rapid beats.
My resting heart rate is 120. It immediately hits 160 at the slightest hint of noise, touch, movement, vibration, smell (anything) or surprise.
It will not go below 110 at all any more.
25 Years old and my own brother pretty much killed me.
/b/ is my family since I was 15. You random ass niggers mean a lot to me for barely being able to do anything but internet the past year or two.
>>675066028
gg well done OP you are a real hero :)
>>675067955
Oh, you wanted to hear more? If you like it I can stay up even more. I'll make coffee.
I did stupid assed shit!
>Go into restroom stall
>Draw upside down pentagram on wall in ketchup
>Use lighter fluid and paper to start fires in toilets
>Do several times
>Suggest Satan is using our toilets
>Several teachers start wearing crucifixes
>Take several bottles of red food coloring in
>Dump in urinals and toilets
>Get on school network
>Upload clown porn and emulators
>Enlist the help of some fellow lunatics
>Get several blow up dolls and inflatable clowns
>Pose them sexually in restrooms with flaming bloody toilets
>Get Mormon tracts
>Find out where principal lives
>Dress clowns with Bowties and name tags.
>Pose in front of door and ring bell at 4 am
>Stopped when they started having cops patrol hallways
We got the principal to ask "What the fuck is wrong with you people?" over the intercom.
Good times.
>>675055635
spooked
>>675047363
how is this even a highschool story it doesn't even have a good ending
>pic related
made me reply to your fucking autism
>>675068204
Coffee confirmed, en route. Pipe stuffed, thread alive, hour or two til the 4chan kids get up for school.
We have a thread.
>middleschool
>school is 1 of 3 in the USA that allows underage students to leave campus at lunch & go to restaurants
>smoke weed everyday at lunch, gym & band 5th & final period
>have buddy I smoked weed with under bridge
>he has a twin sister that's hot, we all party together
>her uncles trying to teach her to drive and she wrecked, killing herself
>spent time with her brother getting stoned a lot
>exactly 1 year later on the same day she had died, he was the only fatality of a tornado
>there mom commited suicide exactly one year later on the same day
>>675068472
I take that back; another boy died from the same tornado but he was in a different county
Be me
>visual arts year 7
>nearing end of the lesson
>need to take a mad dump all of a sudden
>teacher isn't in the class
>o shit.mp3
>some random teacher walks in to get equipment
>ask her to sign my diary so I can go toilet.
>bitch says no and tells me to wait for my teacher.
>sitting there with my friends trying not to shit myself.
>about 10 minutes left of class last period so I won't be able to take a shit for another hour
>random teacher comes back
>must feel bad signs my diary
>bolt out of the class.
>slip on the tiles outside of the class
>some random guy just stares at me.
>give him the thumbs up
>run to the toilet
>drop my fat shit
>didn't even flush and walk out in pride.
>>675062015
Haha faggot I got the day off tomorrow.
Check your schedule tho
At this point dont sleep, drink shit ton of coffee, get thermos or jug and fill with coffee to bring with you
heres a good one
>be me
>freshman year
>math class
>sit in front of tard, his name is kurt
>kurt is one of those tards that annoys people for funzies
>chose the wrong day to tard around
>first, i drop my pencil, and pick it up just in time to see tards finger go from his nose, straight to his hair, and sort of slick his hair back with his boogers
>fuckingwhat.gif
>leave it alone, dont say anything because i try to be really nice to everyone
>go back to work
>feel a poke on my back
>"kurt, can you please stop?"
>ya
>"Thanks"
>go back to working
>this happens up to 5 more times
>finally yell "FUCKING STOP DUDE"
>teacher yells at me
>say im sorry
>kurts laughing, says its okay, wont bother me again
>10 minutes go by
>Get hot, take off my seatshirt
>dafauqisthatshit.jpg
>take a close look at back of hoodie
>this fucking tard wiped all his fucking boogers on my sweatshirt
>ohhfuckno.jpg
>fucking leap up from my chair
>do a classic table flip meme and kick this tard in the fucking head one good time
>hes crying
>teacher sends me to principal's office
>worthit.gif
>obvious suspension
>dad asks what happend
>tell him what happend
>"...wellp, thats that i guess."
>grounded for the month
>spend 3 days playing video games while suspended and dad at work
>prettycoolman.jpg
And thats the second time i got suspended
>>675068456
Dude, I never went to bed.
>>675069024
Good times...good times.
School sucked but it had its good moments.
This one was pretty kek, ok.
>be me
>sitting in Society and Environment (Australian fag here)
>Minding my own business
>nek minut
>teacher walks in asking about "stolen calculators"
>remember some nigger handing out expensive calculators near our gym
>say to teacher "i saw Mc-nigger giving out calculators near the gym and throw the bag into the dumpster out the back of Woodwork class"
>3 hours pass
>sitting at bench with my goon squad
>nigger comes up to me
>"you snitch on me cunt"
>"no lel" *insert troll face*
>walk away
>tiny asain jumps me as i put my bag on
>hit me good but didn't hurt much bit dazes as was not expect
>my goons roll up and beat the chinky cunt
>niggers comes over to try and fight me
>beastmodeactivate.trojan
>coon swing the cunt and he hits the floor out cold
>his goons start fighting my goons
>stand on table looking for someone to beat the shit out of
>HOLY SHIT SPECIAL ED KID GOING BEASTMODE X 10
>literally throwing cunts left and right
>remember i helped him with some work one day cause i'm a nice guy plus he's pretty funny
>3 minutes later teachers swam him
>takes 5 to stop hims rampage (1 woman and 4 pretty big men)
cont.?
>>675069082
Smoking and waiting for the rise.
>>675066028
jesus christ..
>>675069122
I didn't actually make a coffee, but I am eating an orange.
What holds your interest about this story, guys? Telling a story's nothing without feedback.
Not gonna greentext, mobile is a bitch.
Be me, junior year, britbong kid who moved to Murica, recently moved from Texas to New York (Fucking glory moment tbh.)
Hang out with stoner nig because I was a wannabe stonerfag.
Anyway, stonernig and his dudebros are fucking around in a library, I tagged along to see what do.
Faglords decided to use fucking book pages to roll joints.
Watch from a distance because I'm a massive betafag.
Ghetto ass school didn't really have smoke detectors, they were just there for looks I guess.
Stoner kid drops Zippo on ground, lighting some open books on fire.
Stonernig and friends panic and book it.
Uppity librarian cunt is pissed because burning books and weed.
I'm mostly hiding and looking for the emergency exit.
See asthmatic nerd chick collapse because smoke.
Pick her up and start carrying her out, finally found emergency exit.
Damn she's kinda cute.
Feel really fucking alpha.
Kick open door, run outside.
She wakes up coughing.
Still feel alpha, lay her on ground "You're safe now." I say in my thick Liverpool accent. (Not really Scouse but similar.)
She coughs and smiles at me "Thank you."
We started hanging out after that. Abandonded stonernig because he was a massive idiot.
Two years ago I got married to her.
Remeber anniversary because every year we light a big ass bonfire and laugh about stonernig and the pot book burning.
>Be me, 6th grade
>be fat autist with anger issues
>get made fun of by everyone, including the highschool kids
>get REALLY fucking angry one day
>Brother said I should kill myself
>Cousin said I should kill myself
>Quarterback from our local team says I should kill myself
>punch brother
>punch cousin
>tackle QB into a wall knocking him unconscious
>get kicked out of school for excessive violence
>HS girl thinks I'm cool/cute
>decides she likes me, even though only 6th grader
>takes me out to her car (she was about 16)
>gets me high as fuck
>"anon, have you ever had a blowjob?"
>"no... um... why?"
>"I want to give you one"
>get blowjob from HS girl
>start getting some respect from others
>??????
>profit!
>year 11
>break leg real bad
>like wheel chair bad
>at the start teachers were sympathetic
>that soon changed
>my dad was a mechanic
>we fucking attached a lawnmower engine on wheel chair
>rock up to school at 20kmh
>no exhaust loud af
>literally drifting in the school carpark
>teachers pissed
>teacher hits me with car
>break other leg
>tfw not suspended
>tfw become school hero
>>675069122
At this rate, I'm going to fucking pass out
>>675069341
The view out my window is boring. Will post if anyone is interested.
>>675069787
>At this rate, I'm going to fucking pass out
Sounds like you should go to bed mate
>>675069785
Lel
>>675069254
cont plz
>>675047363
Nice man
>>675069956
Insomniacz 6 lyfe
>>675070586
You want more then?
>>675068096
woooooaahhh duuuude, you type really fuckin russian like and shit
This one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy
>>675070711
9001% yes
>>675070869
Did you play "Hot Cross Buns"?
>>675070711
pliss moarr mooar though i hvnt read all of the above yet
i m loving these
>>675070290
continuing
>13+ kids aged between 15 and 18 all moaning in pain after his rampage
>biggest smile on my face that these niggers and chinks are all bloodied and battered
>yell at the top of my lungs "That's what you get for calling me a snitch cunts!!
>also get man handled by teacher
>i struggle and break free
>he goes to grab me but ends up palming me in the face (accidentally)
>crocodile tears activate
>teacher said was accident
>his son was one of the victims (not apart of my squad but the niggers)
>say "He assaulted me because his son is a weakling"
>he actually hits me pretty hard in the shoulder
>principal literally walks out and sees this
>fired on the stop
>get told if i was ok (crocodile tears still activated)
>say yeah but i wanna press charges
>enter our year leaders office
>her last name was summerville (blond dike bitch)
>tells me off for fighting and says i am susspended from school for a month
>hip-hip-hooray bideogames and late night for a month
>talk to special ed kid
>he asks what happened (multiple personality syndrome)
>say he helped me out so gave him my lunch money for the day as payment for his services
>he laughs and takes it with a "ok....." look on his face
>10 minutes later mother shows up
>smacks me on the side of my head
>tells me to fight my own fights
>explain story
>she kek'd out of 10
>pic related her reaction (minus the text i can't find a similar picture)
Cont.
>Second year of highschool
>Is one of maybe 4 white kids
>Bored
>Noticed I had a hole in my jacket pocket that leads inside jacket
>Started using it to bring alcohol to school
>Start drinking premix vodkas
>Teacher notices me acting weird and checks bag and pockets
>Got away with it
>Started bringing realistic looking BB gun to school
>Shooting kids, holding it to their head
>Principal pulls me out of class and frisks me with security
>Finds BB Gun
>Calls grandparents
>Gets BB Gun confiscated for about a week
>Continues taking it to school
>Brings live .303 rounds to school
>Kid narcs
>Principal frisks me again and find bullets and BB gun
>Get suspended til end of year
>Year 3 starts
>Goes to school maybe 5 days over 6 months
>Letter arrives at home
>"Anon does not appear to want to attend school"
>Is allowed to drop out of school, no questions asked
>>675071354
You're a bit of a fucking idiot mate
>>675071381
For much the same reason as happened back when I first posted this, I should really take a shower now, but I'm a lot more disgusting than I used to be, so I'll just clean up with tissues.
I'll post more when I'm done guys
>>675070711
I'm trying to recall shit.
I ran underneath a counselor's arm who trapped me in a room. She tries to stop my spasmatic claustrophobic escape, accidentally knock her down.
I walk to time out room, she comes and shows me dime sized bruise under one knee, I apologize and explain that you can't put me in a small room with ten loud mouth breathing niggers in the middle of summer in a 105 degree room. She understands, kiss and make up.
3 days later 2 cops come, I get cuffed. Oops.
Just turned 18. School policy says any injury to a teacher = cops. She does not want charges, 4 witness statements backing me up.
Cops take incentive.
Aggravated assault 1 felony
Harassment 1 misd
Assault 1 misd
Disorderly conduct 1 miss
I am not guilty, cops literally force me to plead to assault 1 and drop the other shit. Either plead assault 1 or take 1-5 years in county.
Fucking faggots, I went back to school to thank the principal (sexy fucking bitch too) and fat bitch for nearly ruining my life.
Tell them I won't be back, never go back even though two months til I would finish 12th grade.
Fucking salary hunting retards honestly.
>>675071619
Damn anon, this is so good I'm liable to call bullshit.
>>675054560
> Alex I'll take shit that never happens for $500
>>675071327
>getting ready to leave
>over hear nigger and chink talking about GTA (not the game the actual crime)
>say they're going to steal principals car
>hear draws and keys rattle around
>decide fuck it let them do it and i can watch
>they kick the door down run out the front
>nigger gets in driver and chink sits in passenger
>car speeds onto the sidewalk of the school
>driving near cafeteria (its outdoors cause "muh fresh air" bs education department meme garbage)
>drive onto the school oval
>doing burn outs and shit
>laughing my arse off
>hello niggers older brother arrives with 3-4 bigger niggers
>they steal the car and rob some store
>nigger and chink get arrested and expelled and have to pay fines and a new car (bmw looked to me like about $100,000 AUD car)
>2 days later 3-4 niggers walking around the school
>with a petrol can and a flare
>they call out the principal
>they leg it back to the oval
>my class rushes out because we hear the commotion
>see car in the middle of the field
>the start poring petrol all over it
>light the car and run to the other car they had parked near the main road
>After about 3-4 minutes of burning the car explodes
>not big enough to throw shrapnel at us as we where about 150M away
>they all get arrested car gets put out principal gets a new better car
>take nigger and chink and teacher to court
>win
>25K in the bank
>Best day of my life.
>>675071793
The principal started crying out of guilt when I told her this.
I felt a little for her because she was 10/10 tall skinny white girl, super pretty, dark hair.
Sucks I couldn't stand to be in that place any longer, she was the sweetest woman I knew until she bent me over and fucked me.
>>675071619
all done
>>675071969
Thanks. I have no way of proving anything (this all happened way long ago) so if you can't believe me then that's your choice, but does it matter? just sit back and enjoy the (i assume) fap
>>675072589
We're here because we already fapped 3x this waking period anon.
>at school
>meet 6/10
>lets call her kat
>kat likes my older brother
>be me
>be autist fag
>have barely any freinds
>extreemly quiet
>big brother extremely popular
>barely even looks at me
>live in his shadow
>kat becomes a good freind
>thought she was genuinie
>only put up with me to get close to my brother
>never did
>bitch deserved it
>stopped talking to me
>talked shit about me
>never again
>>675072589
No fap for me, already done it a few times today, so it's getting boring and sore. Plus, I never really liked jacking it at 4 a.m.
>>675072626
Last and best part, and the reason I sometimes just go on bus journeys in a short(ish) skirt alone.
I am a lonely and pathetic person
>Be me senior year of high school
>Sitting in cafeteria with retarded friends
>Fire alarm goes off
>other friend bashes through door yelling "ANARCHY!"
>kicks over garbage can
>marches over and picks me up over his head
>my face when he carries me outside chanting anarchy to the school!
>>675072589
of course theres fap
so much fap
>>675072863
>>675073011
I'm........actually kinda disappointed. The thought of actually making a difference in someone's day always cheered me up a little. And turned me on a little.
Still, if you enjoyed it, I'm still happy to share.
>>675073122
to much fap
>>675071576
Sociopath, never cared, still don't.
Find it hilarious how much special treatment I got.
>>675073122
Hooray!
>>675051971
You're fucking lame lol
>>675073167
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yURRmWtbTbo
>>675052840
Lol
>>675073288
keep it on am about to cum
>>675073473
last post is this one
>>675073029
there is no more until I find someone to be my new tentanon
>>675073651
raises hand as volunteer for new tentanon
>>675073651
I volunteer as tribute!
>>675073683
Fuck of m8
>>675073683
Heh, you're cute.
>>675073774
A challenger approachers!
>>675073716
It's cool, I get it. Yes, I'm British. And I loved what tentanon did. What would you have rather do?
Feel free to go into detail...
>>675045734
>in the cafeteria
>awesome sam cooke somg playing
>big fat class clown is pwning the food line
>grabbing food shoving it in his mouth and pockets. crazy mad
>slurps bowl of jello inone gulp
>does the same with bowl of cottage cheese but spits that shit EVERYWHERE all over lunch line
>he yells FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!
>starts throwing food
>everyone starts throwing food
>crazy shit
I've got a million more stories like this. I swear I should write a book. it would be a best seller
>>675073849
i'm bold too lol.
my ex was a in public kinda person too.
we'd get along.
>>675046379
nicely dome
>>675073849
Well, I would have fucking known what I was doing for starters. For seconds, if a girl basically told me to finger her, not only would I do it, I sure as hell wouldn't be shy towards her.
Also, I love British accents.
>>675047676
now you can get her to blow you for only $40. or crack.
>protip: it only takes $10 worth of crack
profit
>>675073774
why should we fight tho... she wants more than 1 at once. we can work together for her sake m8.
>>675047797
so its a love story
>>675073142
I changed my mind and wrapped up round 4 after reading, thanks anon.
>>675074285
God dammit. My mind says no, but my dick is saying yes.
>>675074338
Different anon but I have thousands of hand scars from being autistic and unable to stop thumb scraping and fiddling with shit.
>>675074557
Dick knows best
>>675074557
preliminary no homo...
i mean we're /b/tards, could be much weirder.
>>675073912
Perhaps we would. Come visit.
>>675074153
A little inexperience can be kinda cute.
>>675074285
>>675074557
Two at once?
....But guys I just put the tissues away, this isn't fair...
>>675074384
missionaccomplished.jpeg
You are very welcome.
>be me
>boring woodshop class
>convince special needs kid to use saw on water bottle
> he does it
> saw breaks
> teacher confronts special ed angrily
> can't hold in the laughter
> turns out saw is worth 4k
> mfw I take no blame
>>675074721
as long as i can do whatever i want before we're even out of the airport, i'm good.
and dont worry, i'll give >>675074153
plenty of pointers before he shows up too
>>675073892
epic
>>675074663
Pic related this one is brutal.
Don't get any ideas now guys.
Just leave that dead skin hanging there.
Don't scrape it off.
>>675074763
kek
>>675074763
destroying public property causing taxes to go up
>good times
>>675074856
Depends what you're planning.
>>675074996
>this one is brutal
help me out here, i dont see shit
>>675075693
who ever said you got any say? your lack of control is the best part.
(...with prior consent of course lmao)
>>675068181
dont you mean "an hero"
>>675074719
>>675074669
Sadly, my dick may be fighting a losing battle, I'm nearly dozing off. I'll try, but no promises.
>>675075754
I have more though.
Hand vagina. Splitting maul blister broke and caused 5 days agony holy shit.
>>675075802
oho. Then I can't say no.
>>675076094
Go to bed, my bedicked wonder, you fought a hard battle and it is time for rest
>>675076160
whats your biggest/most area covering though
>>675071354
so edgy i cut myself
>>675076094
no worries bro i'll handle it for you. your shift in morning.
>>675076237
see, we're already on the same page. remember to wear a skirt.
>>675076282
Hand cut in half, right hand, 6 years old.
Tough to see, this is my right thumb on the right side.
>>675076237
>>675076476
Fine, I'm out.
I'll leave the thread open to catch up in the morn and to screencap anything great.
>>675076476
>>675053511
>>675055412
>>675076574
Hand through glass shard, took entire knuckle off, 16.
>>675076374
hnnng. The shortest one I own, I assume...
>>675056109
>stealing cameras
>this one's stuck good
>hanging on it from the ceiling
>teacher walks by, doesn't care
>camera acquired
>all the students are walking around for some reason
>follow them
>they stop by an auditorium briefly
>steal the microphones when they leave
>it's about lunch time
>climb to the roof
>start smoking weed
>OH SHIT the ENTIRE student body is outside
>duck down and hide
>I forgot we were graduating today
>>675076747
absolutely, and after your stories i'd be a bit disappointed if i found panties underneath..
>>675076936
I hadn't even considered wearing them.
K I think I will actually keep the tissues out for tonight.
>>675064757
This guy man
>>675077151
mm smart girl.
oh lord, you guys have tubes to ride around too. i think you and i could have a damn good time on a crowded train.
and acccceeenttttt uuuugggh
>>675076743
Whatever the fuck this is.
Only break was lower left thumb, nothing more to see really that will show up well on this camera. I pretty much get one nasty cut every day along with smashes, doors, dropped glass (serious tremors here) and many others. Yes this is autism and my awkward approach to objects gets me hurt every hour.
>>675077151
A girl in a skirt... on the bus. I'll keep my eye out.
>>675077360
Tube's usually pretty crowded compared to a bus...Just an observation...
That said, the British law of "no eye contact while on public transoprt" may come in damn useful here.
I don't live anywhere near a tube system (that I'm aware of) but there is a Metrolink nearby that I may have to look into the cost of.
>>675077457
Yes, I...I'm sure I'm the only one.
>>675066028
this isn't real
but the illusion of reality made my day.
thanks
>>675066164
swing and a miss there newfriend
>>675077215
Man, all of my posts are getting replied to.
But yeah, it was fun. I was one of three guys in the Chemistry class. I did it in French cause I've been left alone twice (online class). I did it in ACT Prep cause there was a hot girl in class, we were watching a movie, and she layed on the table next to me, and
>dat ass
For Art, it was a combo of hot girls and just doing it in public. For the bus, it was just because no one could see and I could get away with it.
I almost got caught twice, but it was nothing but fun besides that.
>>675077593
hmm good point. we'll sit front and center to test the effectiveness of that british phenomenon.
and no worries, we could take a taxi and see how long we can keep up a conversation before he figures out what i'm doing to you.
might be more fun to just leave the puddle for him though.
>>675077593
Naturally, but I'll know.
God damn it, let me live my fantasy. I like to day dream when I'm on the bus.
>>675077427
Left clavicle simple break, no mend.
Outwards facing v shape, hardcore nerve pinch, six years until I could use it normally, almost 2 years until my arm could lift past shoulder.
Bike crash 30mph into 15 inch high curb, 40 feet flight to land on shoulder.
Jeep pushed me off the road trying to kill me for no good reason, I was speed limit though. Retard.
>>675077913
Me too, man. Me too.
>>675077897
sigh. Your fantasies makes me feel less lonely and yet also reinforces my loneliness. But they make me squirm so it's worth it.
The train is better than a taxi. Taxi is just one guy. Again, just an observation.
>>675061212
>I also do not personally believe im cute, thats the opinion of almost everyone else i have met or known.
Fuck off, you're as arrogant as they come. "Guarded" my ass, you're just another edgelord.
>>675078004
That thumb, I gotta smoke i'm done entertaining.
>be 15
>she was 14 worked part at local chip shop
>she used to flirt with me A LOT
>be play fighting one time
>kept on rolling on top of each other, I'd pin her down, then she'd pin me down
>oh no boner
>lose my cool "haha that was fun"
>one week later heard she fucked a 40 year old
>2 weeks later find out my dads friend fucked a 14 year old from the local chip shop
Fuck autism
>>675078145
distance is a bitch, isnt it? you've got me all riled up with no real way to release it besides pretending you're here..
anyway, you're right.. train sounds much more fun.
we'd need a fairly populated destination though..
>>675078170
Also feel free to call me the claw. All this damage caused my left arm to extend 4 more inches past my right fingertips. I can't really take a picture of this, but left clavicle break was benificial to reach and strength so it's fine with me.
>>675078145
Wish I'd gotten here earlier, I'd have helped you slick one out. Bed time it is. Here's to the morning wood inspired by your stories.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNoG8JEpnUE
REEEE
>>675078627
I'll raise a glass in salute of your morning salute.
>>675078589
No kidding it is. I live pretty close to one of the top three most populated cities in England, so those trains tend to be rammed at the right times of day.
(Do Americans use the word "rammed" to be "packed full"?)
I've been on them to commute myself, on occasion. Standing up for the whole of a 20-minute journey, close enough to other people that movement isn't realistically possible. Barely anything I could do to anyone stood next to me; no escape...
>>675078964
Try Japanese schoolgirls in rush hour nigger
Kaboooom
>>675078964
oh dear, that sounds perfect then. its like i could just come right up on you and do whatever i'd like without anybody realizing whats going on. or maybe they would, like that'd matter though..
(and in context it makes sense but crammed would sound more american. we'd use "rammed" in relation to... another subject.)
>>675079193
>we'd use "rammed" in relation to... another subject
I know. There's a reason I used that word.
Being rammed on a train...eh heh heh...
You'd probably just be able to stroke me in some fairly innocuous plces and...well...the only evidence would be dripping down my legs.
>Highschool grade 11
>School is having a home football game
>I go since a lot of my friends are in the band
>I walk the grounds while the game is going on, there is a sheds near a nature walk behind the field.
>Find a group of fuck ups smoking pot and drinking moonshine.
>They invite me in since I guess they where scared I'd report them if I left.
>3 girls 2 guys, two where the guys girlfriends the other was a there fat friend I guess.
> The guys had a game going, taking shots every time we scored a touchdown. At the time we only had 2 so I took two shots to catch up.
>Smoke weed, we all get along really well. Game runs about 15 min. Team gets score, then intercepts and scores again. 2shots.
> More scores more shots more weed.
>Gets crazy smart idea, I know I can drink these two pot heads under the table so I bait them into taking 2 shots for every score.
>They laugh and take the bait. Girls didn't - just as planned.
>3 more goals, the shine is gone and one of the guys is now passed out near the wall. The other follows about 2 mins later.
>I'm left with 3 drunk girls who are drunk as piss and high as hell.
>I start asking them about there boyfriends and what they did with them.
> The girls start to compete trying to out do one another to be the most slutty. Just as planned.
> Fat girl catches on what I was doing, she joins me likely cause she's a virgin and is going to get some out of this too.
>With there friends help she tells me about some of the shit they did together and I realize the only one who ever had oral before was the fat chick.
> We continue going on and get the girls to show us there pussies.
>Me and the fat chick dining out together in the shed on these bitches.
> Kept going, and ended up having sex with all three in front of there boyfriends as the game dragged on. Band fanfair in the background.
> Leave the girls passed out half naked on there boyfriends, me and the fatchick clean up and kiss. Still fuck buddies to thisday
>>675079743
>fuckbuddies to this day
you must be an awful person if you couldn't manage to find a gf in all those years.
Unless you're still half a kid
>>675079193
mmkay...I'm gonna have to go to bed, I think. Thanks for making me fidget for an hour or so. Come join me on the train some time. You will always be most welcome.
Sup. Meet Javiela, my fucking bitch of an ex. She fucks some nigger while her friends watched and I figured it all out. She liked to get in the ass and she has a really nice pussy. It's payback time. Here's some fuck videos we have http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php?file_id=55968452456882190753 enjoy /b/ 32
>>675079502
>>675080339
aaaah fuck... well anyway i'm glad we could get some enjoyment. i'll make sure to keep an eye out on an especially busy day. just make sure you call me sir.
until next time..
>>675079999
I fuck around. You're an idiot to keep one for too long less you plan to marry the bitch.
Nice quads tho.
>>675073029
Hey, that's pretty good
>>675080640
Would have stayed, but hey,
>>675080640
14 minutes between posts!
>>675080922
no no, you're right. i kinda blew it didnt i?
>>675080951
Depends how much you can stick around, sir...And how much more you have to say.
>>675081142
how could i leave...
but anywho, who says i'd just stroke you... i'd prefer to be at least knuckle deep so i'd have something to taste.. i like to clean my fingers off, no evidence right?
>>675081394
mmmhmm.
I don't know if you'd be able to take me all the way while standing up in a crowded train, though. I'd most likely just end up going completely stiff trying not to give away what was happening, and nearly falling over from it all when we have to disembark.
Somewhere a little more physically comfortable would be more suited to finishing the job...however long it takes us to get there.
>>675081675
i do like family restrooms but thats a bit too private to be REALLY fun..
how are the shopping malls around there? have you try on some skimpier clothes and handle some things in the fitting room.
>>675081875
Pretty good. I don't go often, but yeah, we have the kind of places with those resources. A fitting room would be...significantly more comfortable.
But there's less ambient noise, so keeping quiet would be even harder. Partitions between cubicles are paper-thin...
That's assuming anything happens in there. The skirts I own aren't that short, so I'd have to try on some shorter ones....See if I couldn't tempt you to join me.
>>675082133
This person is pretty cool.
>>675082133
its more of a guarantee that something would happen in there. after the train ride i don't think you'd be able to keep me out. especially after a few "yes sir" remarks from you.
and sounds not an issue, i'll just hold my hand over your mouth. as long as you're obedient it'll go great.
>>675082426
hnng
hnng
mmmkay
brb
>>675082495
dont keep me waiting too long or punishment would be in order.
not like you wouldn't want the punishment anyway, but its not like i wouldnt give it to you anyway.
>>675054560
then you woke up
>>675082650
now that was worth the mess.
And now I really do need to go to bed; i'm two hours overdue.
I feel like very few details passed between us, and yet you helped me quite a bit. So, thank you, sir. If you hang around /b/, there's every chance you'll see me again some time.
>grade 9 biology
> be learning circulatory system
>passed the fuck out during lecture
>teacher wakes me up and starts asking questions
>answer them like a boss
>get told i can go back to sleep
>>675083209
mm, that it was.
have yourself sweet dreams, i'm sure they'll involve me in some fashion at this point...
and half of the fun is catching you off guard isnt it.. just remind you who you're serving when i want. ha, anyway, i'm always lurking, and i know your post style. we'll speak again, dont worry.
maybe we'll have some experiences to create fresh greentext..
>be me, year 9 in high school
>some fag harassing my friend
>tell him to shut the fuck up
>he doesn't
>Grab nearest thing, a pencil
>Stab that fucker in his face, so close to his eye
>Be carried out of class to head teacher
>Tell her truth
>Lets me go
>Fuckyeah.jpg feels good.
>be me
>play bass in orchestra
>orchestra teacher used to play some big time shit
>thinks he is the shit
>expects us to be fire orchestra players
niggaimherecauseihavetobe.png
fuckthis.exe
>qt bass player next to me
>we start talking as he lectures about bullshit
>every fucking day around 8:12AM he would interrupt his own bullshit to yell at me
>would always just give him a grin and keep repeating "what?" and "I can't hear you" until he would give up or send me to the office
>god, did I love the office
>be another normal day
>bro is in orchestra playing the motherfuckin 4 string that is in between the bass and the viola or whatever the fuck
>you sit in a chair to play it
>you get the point
>I stealth behind him and twist his tuning knob
>he laughs and I do too, top keks
>bastard teacher notices we are actually having fun
>office immediately
>tells me to read so orchestra dictionary
"maybe you will actually learn something"
"what?"
>tells me if I don't have 20 definitions written down by the end of class when he comes back he is reporting me
>"what"
>storms out
>I fuck off and talk to seniors about smoking weed
>he comes back
"where are your definitions Anon?"
>"what? I couldn't hear you"
>reports me to the cunt of a principle we had
>since I was ADHD and in the public school system I had an IEP so they couldn't ass fuck me like the normies
>hella funny cause I never should of been in special ed
>they arrange for orchestra fag, sped teacher, counselor, principle, and parents to meet to talk about "the problems Anon has been exhibiting in class"
>panic
>get idea
>open PowerPoint
>begin to write down a mixture of lies and facts to make orchestra fag look really bad
>really bad
>abusive
>mean
>"uses tactics of public humiliation as primary teaching style" ect
>ff to the meeting
>cont
>>675045734
Ive got a goodie but its a middle school story
>Like every school, there are a couple of potato tards
>Mine was no exception
>Pancake was our friendly neighborhood tard
>Loved pancakes. Loved to eat them. Loved to draw them. Loved everything about them
>One day after a big lunch of trashy school food, Pancake found himself with a full colon
>Pancake, being retarded, decided that it was a good idea to releve himself right there in the hallway
>Low and behold, Pancake drops his sweatpants and dropped a big stink coil right smack dab in the middle of the hallway
>After, he just pulled up his pants and kept on trucking
>Very shortly after a teacher whos name I cant remember, we will say Mr.Guy, rounds the corner
>And doesnt he just slip in the fresh pile of Special Olympian manure
And ill never forget what he said after he slipped
>"Is this brownie?"
>>675083615
>they talk about my disrespectful behavior to professor faggot for like 25 mins straight
>they ask my sped teacher who hates the guy what she has to say
I think it's up to Anon and prof. fag to sort this out
>parents hate prof. fag cause I am a manipulative bitch and redpilled them
Do you have anything to say anon?
>stand up and begin passing out printed power point presentation
>I do actually, if you would all reference the hand outs I am passing out we may start
>review each point in detail
>prof fag is red with anger
>he tries to interrupt me
WHAT? IM SORRY I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
>he storms out of the room
>i bust laughing
>parents laugh
>special ed teacher laughs
>principle and counselor get butt mad
>mfw he retires the next year
>mfw i never showed up to orchestra again
>mfw i dated the bass qt
>mfw never recieved further punishment for my tuning peg wrong doings
I have so many more.
>>675081738
>three fags bullied me, they were known for having raped a girl but she pressed no charges
>killed one of them and incriminated the other 2, planted plenty of cocaine and called the police
>thoose fags will be in jail for 20 years
Turns out it wasnt that hard, no one suspects me, no one at all hihihihi
>>675078964
Manchester fag
>>675069027
what about the first?
10th grade my GF for 3 years broke up with me so she could go with an older guy to PROM. We cried and screamed and promised but she wanted to go and wanted to see other people. Night of the schools Junior/senior prom is was with my Dad at the gulf trying to keep my mind of things. My mother called and told me I needed to be strong but my GF and her date had a car accident on way to dinner. He ran a convertible mustang under a tractor trailer in an intersection. He was banged up pretty good but she was almost decapitated. They were both intoxicated. Whole town freaked out. I cried like a baby but now that I look back.. I just say what goes around. For some reason her mother hates me now.
>be 14 in high school
>write for the school newspaper (yeah, you know where this is headed)
>cover freshman football
>write a story about how bad they suck because, well, they suck
>after school in locker room next to class room
>three football players catch me there
>pushed around
>three of them pick me up and hang me from a coat hook
>feet about three feet off the ground
>hang there for 15 minutes until my friends come looking for me.
>tell me to stop hanging around and go home
>be me. Year 10
>Math class with Mr Touch. (Real name is Kelf)
>substitute maths teacher
>me and my mates decide to fuck with him
>2 desks at front of class me and first friend sitting there
>another desk lined up at the very front of the room
>third friend walks into class
>30 mins late smells like weed
>grabs desk at front of class and starts to drag it back to where me and other friend are
>does this as loudly as possible
>"put dat desk back"
>looks him in the eye as he continues to pull desk back
>sits on desk
>"you boys are on shaky ground"
> me and first friend start shaking the fuck out of our desks making "oooh noooo" sounds
>basicly spend 50 minutes making this teacher look like a retard
>everyone hated us
For about 3 weeks, I skipped school after lunch every day in 10th grade.
Found out it was my science teacher who ratted me out. Got in trouble, had my car taken, yadda yadda yadda...
So begins the plan.
>sitting in her class after being gone for those 2 weeks
>she makes a big deal about me not being there
>lol don't care but I hate being singled out
>sit close to the sinks in class
>start making the dripping sound with my mouth so it sounds like a loud drip when she's not watching
>get her to go check all the faucets
>another guy picks up what I am doing and joins in
>makes her check faucets more often to the point she starts complaining about them
>keep this up for weeks to the point it is driving her crazy
>friend in her other classes start doing it too
>she complains enough plumber gets called to check everything out - ends up wasting time and school money for it
>she ends up leaving school at end of year for stress related reasons
I was an ass in school.
Can't greentext for shit.
>Be me, last year of HS
>Cute girl talks to me in cooking 7/10 nice tits
>she's surprised I remember her name, we've known eachother for 8 years
>acts cute/flirty
>not even realize
>month or so later, still acting flirty, I've caught on by now, decide to go along and also act flirty
>survival (not really survival) camp comes around
>hop in bus and make our way to the middle of nowhere
>everybody blindfolded
>girl next to me, says she's afraid of being blindfolded and if she can hold my hand through trip
>sure
>hour and a half later, we're still holding hands
Cont?
>>675045734
>be me
>senior highscool
>tried alot of drugs
>got some pills for a nigger one morning
>take them in lockerroom
>walls started talking
>alien starts talking in it's native tongue
>Satan turns everything into flames
>blackout
>wake up in cell
>now sex offender
>stalking alien now
>grade 9
>be me
>woodshop
>teacher's lecturing
>friend is cutting wood and listening to teacher.
>me and other friends look down
>he starts to cut into his thumb
>"hey bro pay attention"
>he has a minor panic attack
>teacher takes him to the office
>me and the girl I had a crush on at the time clean up the blood
> friend had to get 3 stitches
>>675086625
Cont.
>first day of survival part of camp
>setting up tents with shitty tarp and sticks
>cadet training finally comes in handy
>makes a kickass hootchie and campfire
>talks shit with friends
Sneaks to teachers tents, steals huge bag of mashmellows
>fuckyeah.jpg
>half a bag later, teacher comes over.
>is salty as fuck
>made to go to sleep before everybody else
>wtf we're 16, big bois
>meh, don't care, chills in hootchie eating mashmellows I pocketed
one hour later
>hear footsteps
>who the fuck?
>"hey anon"
>question answered
>"mind if I come in?
>sure
Cont?
>>675087193
here's another one from the same class and grade.
>be me
>beta as fuck
>tries to hit on this girl I had a crush on
>alpha friend sitting at the same table
>he sees this
>comes over and does the same
>friend wins her heart and they start dating
>depression
> they sit in class together and cuddle
>he breaks up her a couple weeks later
>mfw I realize it was a huge cockblock the whole time
>>675087424
Get nessie in here already
>>675087424
Cont.
>she squeezes up next to me, we whisper for about 10 minutes about shit
>she asks if I want too "fool around"
>fuckenyes.png
>we make out for 15 minutes
>grabs boob
>perfect handful
>bliss
>grinding eachother's legs for half of that makeout sesh
>fucking diamonds right now
>she pulls away, "this isn't going anywhere"
>puts hands into trunks, grabs cock
>this is great
>puts hand into panties, wet as fuck
>circles fuck hole with finger, continues to insert finger
>fucking loving it
>2 minutes later, she's on top of me
>unwrapped sex
no clue how long later
>we have both cum
>2nd time ever fucking
NEXT DAY
>hear whispers
>EVERYBODY KNOWS
>TEACHERS KNOW
>GUYS KNOW
>GIRLS KNOW
>SHE TOLD PEOPLE I HAVE A BIG DICK
>GETTING LOOKS FROM GIRLS FOR MOST THE HIKE BACK TO SCHOOL CABIN
>I AM NOT USED TO THIS, I AM A LONER OTHER THAN TWO FRIENDS
last night
>teacher meeting, I hear my name and her name several times
>favorite teacher talks to me about it, says whatever happens on survival camp stays on survival camp
>Congratulates me, says if I do it again, I will be in shit tho
>teachers thought it was fucking hilarious
1 in the morning
walk past boys bunk rooms (cabin is overfull, I'm sleeping in lounge with several others)
>hear them talking about whether or not they are cut
>I open the door fast ane angry as fuck like an agro teacher
>Fucking silence
> I say, "I'm not circumcised" close the door and go to bed.
>silence for 30 seconds, they all laugh, wondering who the fuck it was
was a good week overall. Would do it again.
Listen you niggers, let me tell you a tale, a tale of absolute stupidity that I call my shitty school life
>end of grade 6
>we are already flocking to the faculty room for our signing of clearance
>me and my bros outside
>theres 5 of us
>me, average guy
>monkey, he looks like a monkey and acts like one
>fat ass, hes just fat thats it
>egg head, he isnt smart his head is just shaped liked an egg
>and then theres the rock, he is really big and strong for his age but quite dumb
>we were waiting outside, all 4 of us are done except monkey
>teacher says that when we graduate, he isnt going to get his diploma but he is going to get a piece of paper saying he didnt finish his clearance
>monkey says fuck that
>we say that he should finish it but nahhh
>he says some shit like bad things always goes away
>a few months goes by and its graduation day
>first goes me, then fatass, then stone, then egg head and then monkey
>all of us got our diploma and hand shaked the principal
>we see monkey going up the stage
>the hand shake
>the bowing
>the diploma
>he comes to us and show us his diploma
>note that our diplomas are covered like a notebook but theres only one piece of paper inside
>shows it to us
>laughs at us and tell us that we didnt believe in him
>waves it to our faces
>opens it
>mfw
>hfw
>efw
>theres two pieces of paper
>one is his clearance and the other is a fucking paper noting "DID NOT FINISH HIS CLEARANCE, COME BACK ON MONDAY"
>we laugh at him all day long
dont worry guys if this is shitty theres more shitty things that happens after this