Suicide/Feels thread.
I'm here to help anyone /b/. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.
Bumping because I know some of you want to speak your mind.
>>674866773
I OD'd on Benadryl because I was trying to trip balls, I did but I took way too much and was 911'd to the hospital. I may not have been depressed before, but going through all the trouble of talking to family about it and friends certainally lit the torch.
>>674867088
I'll dump my feels greentexts to help keep it alive
>>674867217
is it depression or embarrassment?
>>674867217
Hell bro I was trying to get high on some DXM (Stupid as fuck) Im gonna be honest I'm not against recreational drugs such as ACID, SHROOMS, MARIJUANA. But fuck the OTC drugs, most of the people looking for a "high" has some kind of problem going on.
>>674867217
How many pill/MG's did you take (usually 1 pill = 25mg) I used to benadryl a lot to trip
>>674866773
Almost every day I consider killing myself, I am a worthless piece of shit, I wish I didnt feel this way about myself, one day I will follow through.
Every 18 minutes somebody dies from a suicide.
Every 43 seconds somebody attempts one
If you or anybody you know is suicidal call 1 800784 2433
Do it, fuck the whole "4chan I have to fit in"
>>674867585
30 pills and full bottle of syrup.
>Fall in love online
>spend a year wanting to be with her
>be told she wants the same thing
>she flirts with others but we're not together and i care for her more so i can't leave her
>realize i'm just a fucking beta and just disappear on her for 2 months
>tells me she wants to meet and what not
>changes her mind once i get the money
>she flirts around still
>she's broken my heart more times than anyone else has in my life
>3 months ago told me she wants me back
>cried to me on skype
>goes back to the old habits
>now i'm still heart broken and i still can't get over it
>although it gets easier everyday
>i'll always regret not having met her
>regretexe
>regret...
and that /b/ros was my last year 1/2.
>>674867582
Dxm is different then benadryl active ingredient in benadryl that gets you high is called dph and I enjoy it
>>674867557
High doses of both and remorse, regret, anger, helplessness, and sorrow.
Im too drunk to read all these pictures. Fuck this.
>>674866773
Heu /b/ro. Anything for me? Just general worthless feelings. I don't really talk to anyone in real life about it because I dont want them to have to worry. No need to push my bullshit on someone else. Earlier today was in a a group text with 2 friends. One's a guy, others a girl. We randomly talk shit on each other like friends do. We got were having real talk and talking about relationships and stuff. She has lost her virginity but neither my friend nor I have. We were talking about random things. I was playing a game at the time and talking a little bit about it while we were talking abiut relationships as well. She said "i was gonna make a joke but its really mean". I normally never take this shit to heart so i had her say it. For some reason it really hit me hard. "I bet Anon can't even get laid in a game." Like i know she said it without any mean intentions and all but. I dunno.
Pic very related.
>>674867622
What makes you think you're worthless?
im anorexic, depressed, paranoid, addicted to amphetamines. in the last 3 months i have experienced serotonin syndrome three times, the latest was this past wednesday/thursday, which im still recovering from. i think ive given myself brain damage.
due to the eating disorder, which preceded my drug abuse, i dropped out of university. my bf and bff have grown increasing due to drugs, and my other friends dont understand me.
as a history student and emotional nutcase i am hyper sensitive to the human reality, i have no hope for the world, and beyond drugs and sex nothing brings me joy in life.
i mostly recovered from anorexia but am intending to starve myself to death in the next 30 days, so i dont have to deal with my upcoming birthday.
>>674868219
bf and bff have grown increasingly distant**
I'm still in love with my ex, its been 2 and a half years and it doesnt seem like its going away...
>>674868134
I'm sorry . I made this shit when I was sober and now Im drunk out of my mind and to fucked to read that all, Just know I love you bro and someone in this world will be happy to marry you oneday . Godspeed.
>>674868348
Have you actually tried to kick your habit? Or do you even want to?
>>674868219
Hey remember one think starvation is a balsy suicide atleast you're not a pussy and shooting yourself
>>674868503
Not gonna lie anon. That's the most stereotypical "you'll find someone" reply ever.
I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else
>>674868814
Godspeed love.
>>674868814
Bro he said he's drunk give him a break I'm high right now and also responding so chill bro
>>674867834
>tfw you have crippling anxiety when talking to people on the phone
whelp
>>674868158
does anyone whatever happened to this?
Story?details?
>>674868527
i dont want to. i lived most of my life without hard drugs, and i never felt alive. being high is the only time since i was a child that i feel fulfilled.
btw when i was a kid, i had histiocytosis, and went through chemo. thats about when i started to lose my zest for life.
>>674869215
theres another greentext that has his obituary on it dont have it though
>>674869090
Bruh Ill give my number out. I dont have a fuck.. Here (931) 771 - 3937
>>674869090
>tfw you have crippling anxiety when talking to people
>>674869090
Feel free to text me or call me.
hey fags just kys already
>>674869792
Ah I don't think that effects many. Try harder.
>>674866773
I'm pathetic. My last time getting emotionally close to a girl was a year ago. While the people around me move forward and become better I'm sitting still like a piece of shit just hoping that someone will feel bad enough for me to text me so that I can finally have a meaningful conversation with another person
>be me on birthday
>drink so much alcohol
>become hysterical
>laughter one second followed by crying immediately after
>bro realizes that something is wrong
become hospitalized in psych ward following two days later for admitting i have suicidal thoughts.
>>674867599
Holy shit, I wasnt ready for that.
Please be fake.
>>674869928
have that meaningful conversation with us
>>674870068
I can relate. My first Girlfriend ever came over .
>Wanted to suck my dick
>too small so I denied
>started crying
>she left
>slit my wrists and thighs
>went to hospital for a month
>out patient for another month
Over a small dick.
>>674869928
The trick is not to look for her
But seduse her, or have her come to you
Let go of the fear of loss, you never lose, you only learn, only in death is where we truly lose all.
attempted suicide twice in my life. proves i cant even complete death. still suicidal.
I cant be the only one who bounces from feel thread to feel thread just so i can feel something in my otherwise emotionless life
I sometimes feel like letting go when my father hits me. Like not fighting back. Like just giving up. The pain just stops after a while, the same place every time. My left arm... my left thigh... my left ribs...
>>674870876
Feels thread i started 404ed
You're not the only one /b/ro
>>674870125
I guess it's that emotional deprivation combined with how I see things. No matter what I do that day, after the celebration I think to myself that it's doesn't matter, when I go home that night and go to sleep, I'll still be sad and no one will care, and whatever accomplishments I get won't matter to anyone but me
>>674870876
When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.
>>674871467
This is truth of all suicide .
>>674871349
If you feel suicidal here is what you should do. Devote yourself to a higher cause. Science, math, computer science, etc. Do something that will make a shit ton of money or add a huge contribution to the world, or both. If your life is worthless then work your ass off like a slave and at least use it.
Think of it like this. If you are suicidal and you go to the front lines of a war at least you have died for something. Go to the front lines of education and fall on the biggest grenade you can.
I can't even drink anymore without it leading to an anxiety attack
My biggest problem is that I over worry and it tends to get the best me. Does anyone have any tips to worry less about mundane things in life?
>>674871604
thanks for the catch anon will get rid of it
>>674871674
fuck off
I believe if you want to kill yourself do it. Im sure there is a better life beyond "life". Death would be a wonderful thing.
>>674872054
No more pain, no more heartbreak, no more anything just death, Its beautiful.
>>674866773
Tried to just OD on a bunch of cough syrups, don't even remember all the kinds I grabbed.
Ended up being forced to regurgitate them. Wouldn't speak to my roommates for a month because of it.
>>674872001
that's some legit advice. Do something productive with your time. If your life is shit devote it to something amazing. Don't be selfish and check out.
>>674872001
Why ? Because he has a point ?
Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
I hate myself and really just feel worthless, like the world is a giant piece of shit and we are all going nowhere. Just endless scrambled existential thoughts.
>>674871674
>do something productive
i'm lucky to motivate myself to eat or shower most days
>>674867217
Are you the dude from the other night who threw up and 911 himself
Someone please argue with me. You can't argue against this point, please do it
Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
>>674870122
i hope its a fake copypasta : (
>>674872577
You would be amazed what my advice could do to your life. Once you hit the point of "fuck it" you will accomplish anything. Starting a business, learning computer programming, starting at the bottom of mathematics and working your way up. Decide today that your life will be devoted to (x) and go for it. Then your life has purpose and you are fearless.
>>674872777
The act of taking my own life is not something I am doing without a lot of thought. I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm.
I asked a co-worker out in December, at 1st she said she'd love to but after a few days she said she didn't want to at the time because she had just gotten out of a relationship, but she told me when she was ready she wanted to go out with me. FF to a couple weeks later I find out that she was back with her ex briefly but broke up again and started fucking around with another co-worker, pretty sure they fucked, but she told a friend we know that she still liked me. We had a long talk a week later about what she wanted, she said she was fucking around with the coworker because her ex was abuseful, overly attached, and jealous and it was a way to cope. And when I asked about me and her she said she was never used a guy liking her. She says she wants to go out but wait until she's done with school which is in June. Between then and now I'm pretty sure her and the other coworker had either dated/fucked again and when I confronted her and told her I felt like i was getting played she told me nothing was going on. I want to trust her but I don't know if I can because she's lied before, and it's not like we're not close, we hold each other when either she or I feel a bit down, or just do it just because. I've never been in a relationship before because I was never seeking it but fucking hell when I take a step back and look at this situation I want to blow my fucking brains out because of how stupid I feel. I have no clue what to do anymore.
>>674873140
Just argue, tell me your point. Death is beautiful, peaceful.
>>674866773
Go here, feel better
http://frtyb.com/go/gQ0i_bAaEj/Cheesepizza
>>674873165
Have you told her that you love her?
>>674873140
No one can argue against this.
I tried making a thread about this cause I really don't know what else to do
Ever since I moved back into my parents house a few months ago, they've been having these weekly fights, I usually just ignored it for a while, but tonight what happened was my dad had appearantly fell on his head to which he got a big gash from, he then started crying in pain and when I ran in the room he was bleeding a little from a cut on his eyebrow, my mom then started crying saying she didn't know what happened. Eventually we cleaned up the little gash and my parents told me both sides of the story, I then started talking to my parents about how accidents happen and that the little scar will just remind him how they are able to stick together no matter what happens and comparing that to how when a baby you love shits all over and that just because the baby shits itself, that doesn't mean you disown the baby, eventually they both forgave each other and went to sleep, what scares me the most is that they might separate and eventually one of them will probably kill themselves, so what does /b/ think about what I did, and whether or not what I did was good
>TL:DR Greentext
>parents are drunk
>dad falls and hits head
>dad blames mom in blind pain
>I run in thinking abuse
>turns out both were drunk
>I explain accidents happens
>compare explanation with babies you love shitting themselves
>they both forgive each other
>im worried about possible future
the last greentext i have
>>674873682
Yeah why?
I'm a NEET who even lacks the motivation to wake up in the morning. I'm on Prozac, but I always forget to take it. I've been looking for inspiration, for motivation, for almost two years now. What should I do?
>>674866773
My gf of 5 years left me last month.
I learnt the hard way that despite the fact you love someone immensly and are incredibly faithful to them, you have a well paying job in a respectable field, travel together, that her family likes and respects you, fulfills her needs sexually and are social together, you just cant please a woman, no matter how hard you try to.
>>674874212
Like I said
The act of taking my own life is not something I am doing without a lot of thought. I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm.
I want to be back with my child more than anything, but I'm sorry, I just can't do it this way.
Maybe you can deal with being single and maybe that makes you happy, but not me. I need companionship, and if you can't provide that, this won't work. It's hard enough dating as a single father, so few women are willing to overlook that. If I'm living with my ex too there's no chance for me. What woman in her right mind would believe there's nothing going on between us? You certainly wouldn't. It'll be constant suspicion and paranoia. What you can live without, I can't.
Yes I'm moody. I just had my heart rebroken today. I'm proud of myself for not flipping out.
I made it very clear going in to this that I was still in love with you. Your response of "baby steps" gave me hope that we'd be trying to get back together. You've taken that away today. You can say it's my fault for reading into it too much and maybe that's true, but your responses were ambiguous enough to allow me to come to that conclusion.
I'm not going to be able to go into this while you have 0 feelings for me. I'm not paying for you to be a housewife while you go out and do whatever it is you want and not be coming home to me. I don't want that. I'm happy to see you go out and get drunk with your friends. I'm happy to stay home with bubs while you do that every weekend if you want to. I'm a homebody. I hate going out. I'm not happy to be cucked.
I was and am willing to take it slow, separate rooms, no touching etc. Until we get those bonds back, but I am Not willing to be your cuck roommate.
So, you've given me your conditions, here's mine. I want to try to get back together. We can be a proper family. If you want a partner, then I work for us, what's mine is yours. If you want a roommate you need to make me a better offer.
Everyday I keep walking reluctantly.
Each day I hope something horrible happens to me.
I miss her.
Sometimes the depression hits me so hard, I'm disconnected from the real world.
I can't feel.
Depraved of feeling.
I feel empty.
Life is a nightmare.
Its shit.
I never complain tho.
I take drugs to numb the pain.
Sometimes you want to tell someone but you don't want to bother them.
I'm so emotionally destroyed that living has become a chore.
I'm just a shell of what I once was.
>>674873948
Quit being a faggot ass bitch
>>674874212
hey i went through that almost a year ago.
don't worry man! it just gets worse!
YOU FAGGOTS. DOES THIS NOT RING A BELL?????????????
The act of taking my own life is not something I am doing without a lot of thought. I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm.
holy shit that's gay OP. you should fucking end yourself
>>674873858
If she knows how you feel about her but continues to fuck around with another coworker. Shes either scared to commit to being with you because she doesnt want to be hurt again, or just playing you/saving you as a back up plan. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone you cant trust?
I came to this city to be an actor. I came because all my life I had a dream. The first year was constant isolation. I was always alone. Then I briefly joined a cult (long story). Then I decided to stop working as a busboy and go full time as an extra. My finances went to shit. I spent a year living in squalor, clinging to my apartment... until I couldn't keep up anymore. I became homeless. While homeless I found myself in all kinds of situations. Dangerous neighborhoods at 3 in the morning. I spent a large portion of time sleeping on the floor of an apartment with 5 other homeless people. It was owned by a rich 30 year old kids who's parents paid for everything. He let us live in the living room of his one bedroom apartment, but he was constantly abusing us. He'd scream. He'd kick us out when he had a girl over. He'd kick us out if he found out we were spending time with a girl. It was awful. I fell in love, had my heart broken. I was manipulated over and over and over again. There were times where I thought about killing myself, not because I was sad, but because it seemed like the only way out of all the money problems and the people who walked all over me.
But I got on my feet. I moved into an apartment with a good roommate. I have a good job that's flexible enough to go out on auditions... but I don't. I wake up. I drink my coffee. I spend hours online. I play with my cat. I smoke about a pack a day. I go to work. I come home. I smoke weed until 4 or 5 in the morning. And then I go to bed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Occasionally, I get lunch with a friend. I don't do anything. I don't make any effort for the acting thing. I struggled for so long and now that I'm stable, I'm bored. Yet I feel like I've forsaken my dream and I don't know why.
I came out here to be an actor, but instead I became nothing.
>>674872325
>>674872384
plenty of people who devote their time to something productive commit suicide. clearly it doesn't help at all. your response to "i don't feel like being alive" is to lecture them? that's just going to be more reason to kill yourself.
they don't find satisfaction in doing productive things so when you tell them that's the answer, they're just going to think "oh well i guess if that's the only reason i should live and it's not doin it for me then i should just kill myself."
somebody i knew recently committed suicide and they had a 4.0 in a computer-related major and got an internship with amazon. another friend of mine just attempted it and i had to fucking call the cops on him and he's an engineering major who just got done with a co op with GE. fuck off with the lecturing bullshit if you don't know what you're talking about.
you guys are a bunch of pussies
if you REALLY wanted to kys you would be fucking dead by now.
jesus fucking christ people like you make me sick, appreciate your life on this planet.
>>674874912
wow you really showed them didn't you
>>674874867
its not the answer. It will in no way make you less suicidal. I'm suggesting that you should at least do something with your life. Don't just waste it.
>>674874474
How? If I knew how to, I would've. I'm not sad or anything, I just lack energy and overall enthusiasm.
>>674875113
do you think im wrong faggot?
>>674875238
I love you and your meme. Such an awesome show
>>674874912
Appreciate our life on this planet? We have destroyed this planet.
>>674867986
checked : (
>>674875474
YES SO WE SHOULD ATLEAST APPRECIATE IT FROM NOW ON RIGHT?
>>674866773
I don't want to struggle anymore. I am tired.
>>674875172
there's absolutely no reason anybody would listen to that advice. "if you want to kill yourself, then don't do it and instead work for the system that you don't even want to be a part of"
why should they?
aight,aight i'll do a dump and will give progress to where i am at the moment if people are interested, look out for TheCrimsonFcker
>>674875595
No, we should commit suicide and move on to the afterlife
>>674875277
no but that's not the point. they don't care at all about what you just said. you're just bitching for no reason
>>674875803
follow this please, please
The act of taking my own life is not something I am doing without a lot of thought. I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm.
TheCrimsonFcker
So guys I am starting it's gonna be a long one. And btw pls respond so it doesn't 404
Just before I start I would like to tell you
I am 23, soon to be 24
No, I am not black. I am as white as you can get them.
I do come from an Eastern European country.
>be me
>me mom marries young
>abusive father, abusive family from his side
>we live with his parents
>his brother also, he has cerebral palsy
>one day he locked my mother outside for 24 hours when it was -30C
>gran, grandpa and father are alcoholics
>be me age 4
>see grandma put a knife through grandpa's arm and the table
>play a lot with uncle
>though he is a kid as well
>grandma and grandpa always nice to me
>father is not
>will beat me a lot
>be age of 5
>mom walks on him strangling me
>she leaves soon for her parents with me in a different place
>grandma(the one with the knife) dies from cancer
>never seen her grave
>never heard from grandpa after he was forbid to call me from my father
>haven't seen or heard dad since then
>from relatives I know I have 2 brothers - one is 16 the other 14
>never seen them as well
This is the story from that part of the family
Continue to next
>>674875828
there isnt life after death. death is the end
>>674874728
I know, but I'm scared of the truth, I know the moment that anything I had going with her is gone I'm gonna shutdown and give up, I don't know how to live for myself. I've never had a reason to do anything but once I met her I felt like I had a reason to live. I've got shit self esteem and I feel like I'll never know anyone like this again, I don't want to let go I guess.
>>674875923
Is this tumblr attempting to convince 4chan to kill themselves?
>>674875966
TheCrimsonFcker
I will post a song with each of my replies. Will make sense further down the line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2jxjv0HkwM
>be 5 at other grandparents
>that grandpa who I would refer as I. from now on had a brother
>that brother was actually head of the mob in our town
>had a lot of enemies
>his enemies go for relatives
>which is us
>grandpa I. is out of town
>around 2 PM during the day 2 people bust in our house
>one has a big knife like that skin a fuckin lion
>the other one a gun
>because they break In while mother was opening the door she is flung
>from the hit her forehead starts to bleed
>aunt (she is 14 at this point) is hiding under bed
>the guy grabs me and puts the gun to my head
>mother can't react she is unresponsive
>thankscience grandma was able to go the the balcony and scream for help
>they panic and run away
>leaving me behind
>luckyasfuck.com
>don't know what happened with the guys
>two weeks later someone robes my mother in the elevator
>ever since then she is scared shitless for me
>ever since then I have no fear of death
>it kinda bugged me
>Grandpa I. decided we will move to a new apartment.
will continue
im in love with this girl all i can think about his her.
i have told her i like her but she doesnt like me the same way.
she is the only one who has been kind to me. we hug alot and the other day she asked to hold me hand for a bit jokingly we did for a bit.
she just sends mixed signals all the time,
i dono.
>>674876066
TheCrimsonFcker
Sorry, yeah I meant rapes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koX_N8u27qw [Embed]
>be me at age of 15
>grandpa's business is going really well
>have lots of money
>still ugly as fuck though
>decide I will start being a cool kid
>start going out a lot
>drinking, smoking (cigs) partying hard
>girls start to take interest in my money
>dump my GF so I can fuck whores
>whynot.jpeg
>she didn't spoke to me for an year
>she ended up with my best friend
>don't care if he is ok with it
>we start to feel the global crisis
>we have to sell almost everything
>grandpa decides it will be ok if he invest his last money in a new project
>his partners run away with all his money
>we have to take a mortgage
>start feeling like I am not interested in whores any more
>just too stupid for me
>don't wanna brag, I've just always was good in school
>they did an IQ test for the whole school (back home we have these specialised schools for economics in which I was enrolled against my will, hate money and shit like that)
>turns out I am 141
>so, stop sports and chicks
>continue drinking though
>start writing short stories in my free time
>one day I met her
>her name is K.
>it was love at first sight
>never felt like this before
>insta-crush
>she is smart and cute
>rejected.com
>brush it off and just never see her again
>by this time I am almost 17
>being single, 172cm and 51KG
>people can hardly say I am a boy
will continue
>>674875984
How can there just be an end, all black? There is more to that.
>>674876174
TheCrimsonFcker
>still have friends though
>we are an awkward bunch
>pretty much nerds
>we are playing a lot of GAIMZ and going out a lot
>one day we meet K. best friend and she tells me that we need to talk
>K. wants to talk with me
>long story but there was a lot of teenage drama
>finally we are together
>neverbeensohappy
>we are the perfect match
>interest, hobbies, music, plans for the future
>we date for 2 years
>on her birthday I propose to her
>she says yes
>best day ever
>she leaves to study abroad
>plan is I go there next year, hence I will need to work so I can save up money
>really hard working, 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. The summer before she comes home she breaks the engagement
>by this time i've already been admitted to university
>she breaks up with me so she can sleep with the guy she rejected me first for
>i forgot to mention I was her first
>feel horrible
>think best course of action is if I an hero
>get in my car go 150km/h
>I know that there are some turns near my town where people die on a regular basis
>pedaltothemetalbaby
>idk why, 1 km before that I hit the breaks
>turn back
>tell my friends
>all of them say I am crazy and take her side
>people i've known for years
>people for whom i would kill
>no fiancee, no friends, only my future in my uni ahead of me
>fresh start, why not ?
>>674875923
https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Suicide/The_Right_to_Die
is that what you wanted us to see
>>674876264
TheCrimsonFcker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_raY-Xzogs
>I forgot to mention something
>remember the mob uncle?
>he had a son
>junkie
>proper h junkie
>when I was 7 I walked on him shooting up
>his hand was bleeding cuz no veinz
>so be me 20
>freshman at uni
>feels good man
>lots of bitches
>stupid as fuck
>think that I will forget K. if I sleep with random drunk girls
>by this time my empathy has really evolved
>I can act as someone as I was him
>even i would change my body language to match his
>a started hating drinking
>K. came back into my life
>the other bastard cheated on her
>so we kinda started hearing each other
>we are both studying abroad but we live 250 km away
>not that far though
>I know I am a beta, but she has this effect on me
>she says it's not like before so we stop talking
>she has a new guy
>I get uber pissed and try to manipulate her to leave him
>i still don't know how that worked but she left him
>on the 14th of february
>so at this point I learn that my best female friend has cancer
>I fuckin go in depression again
>can't comfort her hence being 3000 km away
>being poor as fuck can't go home
>couldn't pay my rent so had to live on the streets for a month while attending uni
>get a job(finally) and I find a place
>my parents are too poor to help me
>things with K. are awkward
>we fight and make up
>this happens every fuckin week
>we would block each other from everywhere
and remove it couple of days later
>qt 3.14
will continue
>>674876045
Nah I used to love Tumblr then I met 4chan. Tumblr is a bunch of Fat feminist dikes ,
>>674876361
TheCrimsonFcker
>new grill seems to be pretty nice, smart, kinda cheeky, good sex, smoke a lot of pot with her
>bought a guitar hence I always wanted to learn an play it
>gave up cuz weed is more importanter
>K. come back in my, she want me to break up with my new girl
>why not I cheated on her with K. already
>we start to get really close
>seems like things are like before
>even better hence we are older now and we can enjoy our love
>fuck no
>I can't pay my tuition and partly because of my smoking habit
>vape 2-3g's a day by now
>have to leave uni because mother gets cancer and have to work to pay her bills
>fuckmylife.com
>K. doesn't support me
>I go bonkers, yell at her for every single time she made me look like a retard and I kept my mouth shut
>be really abusive
>never heard from her again
>not even to this very moment
>mother gets surgery
>she starts feeling better
>my friends comfort me with weed
>get really depressed
>go see doctor
>turns out I have BPD
>shit son
>quit job
>quit uni
>all i do is smoke pot and procrastinate
>friends suggest taking acid and dmt
>why the heck not
>trip major balls
>find out that i should start doing things for myself and try to get on my feet
>be me at the age of 23
>start playing the guitar I bought
Continue
>>674876206
there isn't.
do you fear it?
>>674875913
lol
weak souls smh
maybe you guys should kys instead of posting this cancer, you're just desperate for attention.
oh yeah Im suicidal but I dont want to kill myself because of friends and family or I want to get healthy again meowmeowmeow Im a vegetarian but you know I eat fish blahblahblah
this life gave you everything and yet you don't appreciate it.
>>674876448
TheCrimsonFcker
>now all I do is play guitar and smoke pot
>kinda start to feel better
>i suck at the begining but hence what I do all day is just playing it tend to get better quite fast
>at this point I hate women, all of them have dissapointed me or I have hurt them.
>watch a lot of animu as well
>I don't know why but my grand turns out she has cancer
>stage 4
>found out 4 months ago
>she is the nicest person you know
>even get more depressed
>at this point I haven't heard from K. for the past year
>start thinking I should meet her and say I am sorry
>I really need her as a friend
>my best friend and flatmate leaves so he can live with his girlfriend
>he lives 30 min by foot
>have barely heard or seen him
>start to think that the cycle will repeat
>nothing seems right
>think best thing is to an hero
>I prepare a rope
>just before that I look at my guitar
>it's like music saved me
>started playing - hurt by johny cash
>feelsbadandgoodman.com
>crylikeabitch.jpeg
will continue
>>674876557
TheCrimsonFcker
>on May 10 this year it will be 7 years hence I mate K.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGNbZUX3zEY
>this was our song
>we always joked that we will reach this seven years
>back to story
>a friend from another city said he needs help for his album
>and he needs a second guitarist
>whythefuckot?
>living alone, have a lot of overdue rent, 1200 £ and 1300£ unpaid electricity
>better bail
>I think it should be for the best
>pack up my things and leave
>we started the album
>I have a birthday on the 19th of may and on that day we have a gig where K. is
>her last words to me were - I dreamed you being on stage and I was there to comfort you because you were anxious
>those were before i picked up my guitar skills
>however /b/ros I think this will not happen
>she is probably engaged at the moment or in a serious relationship.
>me being beta and always fuckin drunk girls or girls who wanted my money have major issues with this
>only 3 girls were interested in me of because who I was
>will continue
>>674876450
I don't fear the afterlife. There is more to death. We don't just die and see all black forever . I don't even believe in god but I still think there is more to all than "black"
>>674875998
I felt the same way at one point about a girl but realized after 3 years of being in "love" with her, that i wasnt in love with her I was in love with the attention that she showed me because she was the first to do that. I dont know if your in the same boat as me but i understand where youre coming from.
>>674876658
TheCrimsonFcker
Jump to now, ever hence I am in this new place I have met this grill. Life is better, granny is getting treatment, I feel happy, I am doing what I wanted all my life - playing music but what I really want is for someone to notice me for who I really am. I think only K. saw that part of me. Have met this girl - pic related (grill)
I happen to make her laugh a lot and we have a lot incommon. And the feelings I get for her are the same as when I met K. for the first time. I think I am falling in love again. Here is where I need your help /b/ros - should I try and go for her. I am scared. And I don;t know how to this. They were always drunk or interested in my money and the girls who weren't - it wasn't mutual. I've tried chatting her on facebook, but It always happen to be late in the evening like 2-3 AM and she has to go to bed. However I feel like I am not wanted, although she seems to find me amusing. How to get her attention b? I really want to be with this girl, but my options are bad. And I've lost my social skills because of the depression.
>>674876554
"you guys"
i'm not even suicidal faggot i just came here for the sad stories
fuck off to the rekt thread you edgy faggot
>>674876768
there isn't
i know it's hard to wrap your head around but
there really isn't
>>674876847
I HATE rekt threads
>>674876968
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.
>>674876768
i dont even believe theres black i believe theres nothing. everything just ends when the bullet hits
I never really post on chan as I just lurk but , honestly I'm on the edge of ending it all, the only thing I wonder right now is why I let myself live through life this long w/o killing myself , to keep breathing and moving on with the same result of just pain and expecting something to finally change. The definition of insanity.
>>674877808
How can you be so blind? We don't just "Die" there is more to us than death. We don't just mean nothiing after we die.
>>674877569
dont know if youre the same anon that said he didnt believe in god, but if you believe everything some old fiction book tells you
>>674877988
Accept the void.
Become emotionless. You don't have to feel just block it out. Trust me anon
>>674876801
Yeah I guess I am, so what do I do from this point, what do I tell her, how do I bounce back after this?
>>674878039
there wasnt more to us before we were sperm what makes you think there will be more to us after it ends
>>674878176
Not feeling is not living , I'd rather just be dead.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I feel like i'm running out of time all the time. My friends don't talk to me anymore. No gf. I'm not attractive. Life at home took a huge toll on me and I didn't graduate. Got my ged but I still cant get a job. I've never even had a real job. I go to community college but I'm only going because idk what else to do. My family ignores me and doesn't give a shit about me. I'm socially awkward. Depressed all the time. I think about killing myself every day. My hobbies and talents have no real world applications. I have no skills. Every time I try to make my life better I just fail. I've always been a failure/loser/fuckboy idk. People only talk to me because they feel sorry for me. I'm so fucking lonely all the time. I cant relate to anyone. I feel like an outsider in my group of friends even though i've known them for years. I'm sorry for the spelling.
>>674878349
Good point actually.
The fact that those stupid squinty eyed Japs gets to play Dark Souls 3 18 days before me really frustrates me. My life if fucking shit because of it, you guys wouldnt understand.
>>674878791
Patience, my son. You'll be able to play meme souls before you know it.
It's 3am here.
Im sitting outside in the cold smoking my second to last cigarette.
Staring at the street lights.
I lost my job in November. Budget cuts, my position was terminated.
Im down to $25 in my bank account and roughly $15 worth of change and spare bills.
Its March 20th.
My student loans are 3 months overdue.
My electicity will be shut off in 11 days.
My water sometime next month.
My rent is also due in 11 days.
Every job Ive applied for wont take me.
Not even McDonalds.
I sold my car to make ends meet.
My girlfriend left me.
My parents hate me and live halfway across the country.
I dont have friends.
The only friend I did have died in a car accident with a drunk driver last October.
I keep looking at the streetlight.
I havnt slept a full nights rest in months.
I was denied unemployment and food stamps.
Im so fucking hungry.
I type this from my phone, connected to my neighbors wifi.
I think when the lights go out, Ill end it all.
>Select all the images with flowers.
Lord knows there wont be any on my grave.
>>674878176
If you really want her you could wait out the 3 months until the deadline she gave you, or you could tell her that you dont want to wait and that you want her more than anything that youve wanted in your life and maybe ruining it because to come on too strong. you could always just end it and see if she comes after you. It took me a year and a half to realize that it was her i really wanted.
>>674879347
this was meant to go to you >>674878263
>>674879347
This post didn't even have anything to do with what I just typed and he replied too but it is almost exactly what I'm plagued with at the moment. Funny how the universe is.
I wanna be a girl but I know that I'll never be a qt. I know I have a mental illness but I just wanna be a happy faggot. I know most people have it way worse then me but I just wanna kill myself.
>>674879295
Post a picture of you with a sharpie in your dick hole and Ill paypal you 250$
>>674879295
so thats what a college degree gets you these days
>>674879295
You're just getting a fantastic opportunity to now travel across the country. You can go anywhere and make it your home and explore your continent while getting fit and learning how to survive off the land, if you do go for that I suggest asking >>/out/ for advice. Good luck anon
>>674879954
Recovering my paypal account hold up.
I know this isn't a major life bending story but it's one that's beeb on my mind, for its the one year anniversary of my shitty prom. Who wants to hear it? Got it pretyped.
>>674871674
I guess you don't understand the physical lethargy that accompanies depression and anxiety
>>674880782
*been
maybe all of you can help me. I've been wondering what really hurts more, having been in love but heart broken by the one you've wanted to spend the rest of your life with or not knowing what love is at all. I'm only on the side of knowing what love is and never having it ever again, 6 years and i still dream of her. It's been a hard long 6 years.
>>674880782
go ahead thats what these are for
>>674880782
lets hear it
>>674880782
lay it on me, boss
>>674880782
>be me, senior in HS
>football season is done and dusted, chilling during winter break
>relaxing with my brother and my friends, playing some FIFA
>after wrecking shit with Bayern Leverkusen, I decide to message some people I met recently
>message one girl I started talking to recently, Lexi
>theatre chick with a unique taste of music and a somewhat die hard fan of the Bears
>we hit it off from the get go, with her teasing me about being a Packers fan
>mfw Cutler
>She gives me her number to text her more reliably
>we text all through out the winter, with a mutual interest developing slowly but surely
>spring fast approaches,with the smell of blooming flowers and the buzz of prom in the air
>everybody scrambling like mad to find dates
>never really cared too much about the hubbub, skipped it junior year to chill with my bros but decided to go this year
>pinpoint my top 3 targets
>Grace, a junior dancer that was very relaxed around me, and the one girl my bros urged me to ask. 9/10
>Amanda, a fellow senior that I've known since middle school, good friends (she did have amazingly large tits, not gonna lie) 7/10
>Lexi, the "prospect" that I've been getting familiar with, but only saw her as backup 7/10
I'm sure there are lurkers here who really wish to open up, but the thought of getting screencapped scares them from posting...
>Me, 16. White, decent looking, but socially awkward.Skinnyish but good genetics, do mostly bodyweight shit and light weights cause enlisting in Maureen Korr. From Texas
>Best female friend, 7/10 face 10/10 body, absolutely perfect personality
>be tighter than 2 nuts in a sack with her, but I'm also beta as fuck, can't take the leap and ask her out.
>Get hyped by one of my 2 friends, decide to go for it. The morning of, I get her a coffee from our favorite kolache shop. If you know, you know.
>she responds with gratitude, but I can tell somethings uspetting her. Ask whats up
>"Some bitch was getting a little handsy with my bf"
>Crushed, man. This dude was a fucking weird fuck. Never showered, etc fat fuck with greasy ass long hair, asshole, hideous etc only reason she went for it was cause he actually showed the nuts to ask her, and she had low self esteem.
>ffwd about 4 months, her (admittedly hotter, but shallow as fuck) best friend asks her to gauge my interest.
>why not? Start dating. 1st GF
>going good for about 4 months, bff and she graduate HS, gf is also going to join the MC
>Cheats on me with her ex, wtfe we break up
>feeling like shit, start talking to old best friend, things are going "great" with her man but she not so casually drops warning signs like
>drinks too much, plays vidya all day, doesn't do shit to help her, puts her down, etc
>w/e. FFwd 2 months, start senior year.
>go to quince with another fem friend who looks like a dog
>see Exgfs little bro and his gf
>Instant attraction between me and his gf
>They're on again and off again. End up talking to her a lot, develop feels
>experience to this day, the best night of my life. Take her to watch a lunar eclipse at the park near my house, just lay between 2 blankets on the ground for 7 hours, nonstop talking.
>she's going back and forth between wants it, and not sure
>end up dating
>for a month then she leaves me, says it's not for him. They're together a week later.
>>674866773
literally about 5 seconds before seeing this thread i thought about flipping a coin to see if I should kill myself, gonna read till the end and see if I still feel the same.
>>674881031
>go for Grace, with plans readied (cookie cake and tulips)
>a road block in my plans appeared when one of her fellow dancers told me that she's been talking to of the more "popular" football players in her grade
>me, in my typically peaceful manner, decide to go for the backups, much to my bros cries about how I would squash the manlet with little to no effort (6'1 220 lbs of mostly muscle then, 230 now)
>find out that Amanda's group were going to have drugs
>fuckthatshit.jpg
>Lexi was in my sights
>text her one night, and decide to do a bit of recon
>ask her what her plans were for prom
>tells me that she is probably gonna be a loner but will party it out
>bingo
>text her that I have plans to ask a certain girl to prom but don't reveal who
>she exclaims that she wants to help and take pictures
>she will get those pictures, trust me
>after one failed attempt all thanks to her shitty theatre co-workers, I go for the main assault
>bros escort me to my 2004 Tacoma to retrieve the supplies, and we head to the theatre building to commence the operation
>run into her in the hallway, and she immediately notices the items, especially the cake with her name on it
>a warm, delightful smile appears on her face, and immediately says yes
>we take her much requested picture to much praise from many on both sides
>social media blew up in both of our faces, many claiming we looked "too cute"
>felt like the king of the world, nothing could topple me
I have a story posted in a different feels thread, that I CopyPasta'd, cause the guy didn't get to finish it. Should I post it to see if he finishes or just leave it be?
>>674881313
>days pass by, and the mutual interest increases. I even visit her during rehearsals after track, which she loved
>the future looked bright, until I notice she starts becoming more distant with both appearances and texts
>try to hang out with her during spring break but she piles on excuses on excuses while telling me she would love to, telling me that her parents aren't home
>one of her scrawny theater friends was there while she texted me
>then it came to plans
>as a nice gesture to her, I sacrificed hanging with my main bros to be with her theatre group but told her I wanted to pick her up and at her house
>she gets pouty and tells me that she wanted to go with her girlfriends, and then subtweets about me behind my back (caught it too before she deleted it)
>my thought process for this was that of a traditional prom, where the guy shows up at the gal's house, meet the parents, comment how gorgeous the date looks in her dress, awkwardly pin corsages on each other, then take off
>not going to plan
>my mom, dumbfounded by her decisions and thought process, tells me just to roll with it
>I keep the faith and pray that all will go well
>the fateful day soon approached, and my hopelessly romantic self thought it would be a good idea to create a mixtape due to her love of music
>a collision of our taste of music
>The Beatles and Twenty One Pilots collided with the Rolling Stones and Pearl Jam
>recently discovered unplugged versions of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, etc and put them in
>whynot.gif
>>674879954
[email protected]
Cant fit it in.
>>674881443
>the day arrives, and my parents send me off in a newly rented black suit, with the mix tape safely tucked in my truck's glove apartment
>drive alone to the Grand Marriot in downtown SA, tip the valet driver and pay for parking
>then I wait
>and wait
>and wait
>did I mention waiting?
>ended up waiting on her for about an hour, and ended up running into her mom, who absolutely adored me.
>she finally shows up with her posse and we take pictures
>we head off for dinner, hoping that she would be open for conversation
>she hid in a shell while I got comfortable with everybody, and always tried to incorporate her into the convo
>become a little concerned, and we leave before we know it
>never paid for a $25 dinner, kek
>she lets me drive her to sunset station with free reign over my music
>plays twenty one pilots
>of course...
>we get there and she seems a bit more upbeat and open, a good sign
>when inside, she tells me she wants to keep her prom ticket, which had my cursive on it
>don't pay too much mind to it but I say yes and neatly tuck it away in my tux pocket as I throw mine away
>she tells me that she wants to go find her friends, and that I should go find mine
>for once, I openly agree and converse with my main bros for a little while
>ended up sending me on a goose chase to find her
>after more pictures, our group headed to the dance floor for the 1st time
>>674881550
Sorry its upside down.
I cant fucking do anything right.
>>674881615
>I learned some dance moves, like the Peter Crouch robot, Sturridge wave, and Carlton, but had no room to work with
>it was a moshpit of sweat, adolescence, and awkward dancing
>I awaited my chance for a good one on one dance with Lexi, and that chance soon came
>Ed Sheeran's overrated piece "Thinking Out Loud" began to play, and the leader in me takes over, swooping Lexi in my arms and beginning our dance
>as we swung around, I looked into her captivating brown eyes but she kept on looking away from mine, going back and forth as if a fly is buzzing about
>the song ends and she casually goes back to her friends
>ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.obiwan
>the night wears on and on, and noticed that Lexi didn't pay much mind to me
>decided to dance with a hot friend of hers, and actually enjoyed it
>the end approached, with only a few dedicated couples and outcasts remaining
>decide enough is enough, I will dance with her
>find her taking more of the same pictures with her friends, and tell her we should head to the dance floor
>we take off and her grillfriends follow us like buzzards
>with the extra room, I displayed my dancing prowess, with many of her friends having fun and liking it
>Lexi was not moved
>then another slow song came up, forgot what the name was but was more the same scenario as Thinking Out Loud
>however, the next song will forever be engraved in my mind
>>674881550
Keep goin smh. Ill keep going i guess. But i garuntee ill killmyself with in a decade.
>>674881707
>Save the Last Dance by Michael Buble, a song I put on the mixtape to compliment Sinatra (one of her favorites)
>she latches away from me from the get go, and begins dancing with one of her friends
>its tense, fun, and almost romantic
>they smile and twirl while I look onwards with Buble exclaiming "Don't give your heart to anyone (while we are apart)" and "to save the last dance for me."
>that dance was given away
>I felt defeated, my self esteem plummeting like a meteor. And she could see it.
>We meet eyes. A girl that felt like the queen of life, and a man who felt destroyed, defeated. She keeps on dancing, almost as if she couldn't spare her pity on the man who had the audacity to ask her to prom. I only prayed that the song ended soon.
>much to my relief, it does, with the stragglers scurrying out
>Worn out, I remember my gift. A potential redemption. The mixtape. After some more pictures, I calmly tell her that I have something to show her.
>she reluctantly agrees due to her heals (couldn't give less of a shit) and we head towards my truck, who waited patiently for us
>I hand her the case, and she gives an awkward yet warm smile, and thanks me
>thinking I could salvage this mess, I ask if I could drop her off
>she tells me she's gonna ride with her grillfriends, much to my lack of surprise
>>674881903
>we say goodbye, and I look inside my broken heart, the heart that was given to her and tossed aside as if it was a paper weight
>it wanted to sing, and let out what emotion it had left
>so I played Pearl Jam's Unplugged version of Black, and let my broken heart control my mouth and voice
>tears came and went, with me paying no mind to them as I drove
>I arrive home, and lie to my parents that all went well, but they could tell by my fake tone the the opposite is true
>they comfort me like any loving mom and dad would, and tell me that time will heal this wound, but it might sting a bit for a while
>as I ponder the past events, and almost fall asleep, I look into my tux pocket, and pull out a folded envelope
>a name was on it, "Lexi"
The months then pass by, with her briefly showing up at my college football signing to give me candy. Communication went dead. The ticket was returned to much curiosity from her friends. Graduation came and went, and thinking that she would care somewhat, I call her to take pictures. She says that her and her mom left but said it was nice hearing from me. She then blocked me on all social media, then unblocked me. Strange tactics, but my concern was gone. As time went by, her disdain and regret grew but my happiness grew with college, football, and my bros, old and new. As many of my bros told me, "these bitches ain't shit."
>>674867949
Its online you shouldnt give that much fucks
>>674872282
I envy the dead. They have it real easy.
>>674881206
>Forgive her cause beta, but things are slightly awk. Text every now and then, sit together with group of friends at lunch, but kind of uneasy
>He dumps her about 2 weeks later, ofc.
>we start talking more but neither of us is going for more than that
>one day she calls me while at work bawling
>Cut out early, rush to see her she's sitting outside her house
>said she was with him, and he did something but I absolutely can't get her to tell me.
>she knows I'll tear him apart. Dude's as scrawny as she is (shes a double 0) and I'm about 170, 6ft, mb 13%bf
>we start getting closer again, talk about feels and shit but she's "not ready"
>go to a park near her house one day. Recently decided that I love her. Honestly looking back on it, I was right. I had no reason to, but did anyway
>she tells me she'd been fucking her ex, but the night she called crying, she cut him out "for good"
>get this sick feeling, like I want to puke. Shit's terrible, guys.. Nothing like knowing both the girls you wanted to be with are taking loads from someone else.
>ffwd over the next 3 or 4 months, start getting closer, just friends but fooling aroung
>getting about that time to ship off for boot.
>she says she'll wait for me. Yeah sure
>2/3 of the way, get that dear John letter
>shouldn't have been so surprised, but I am. She's been "talking to a new guy" and he makes her feel good. K
>Focus on training, tell her its K and we can be friends, but don't send any more letters cause no point when I'm 3 weeks from graduation.
>FFwd to family day. Aunt uncle sister niece and mom standing in the crowd
>squad leader so I have good view. Guess who' right next to my mom?
>of course she'd come. Finish moto run, change, liberty formation
>Mostly talking to my mom and aunt and uncle, holding niece. She hangs back
>Mom tells me to go walk with her, she didn't know about the DJ letter
>fall back from fam, walking alonside her in silence. awk
>Hows the boyfriend
>>674881550
>>674879954
Taking requests I guess for paypal donations so i can keep the lights on this month.
>>674866773
why are you glad i'm still here you don't know me and if you did you wouldn't be glad i'm here because i'm a piece of shit garbage tier barely human organism
Meme farming is a difficult life, but it's the only one I know
I thank the Lord for it every day
>>674882245
Continue, /b/ro
>>674882365
>i'm a piece of shit garbage tier barely human organism
if by that you mean that you dont do much other than browse /b/ and beat your dick thats constantly emotionless. youre not any different than the rest of us piece of shit garbage tier barely human organisms.
>>674878176
>block out my emotions
>they leak out sometimes
>fullblown body shaking out loud crying with tears streaming non stop out of my face from watching this.
>cant breathe from how hard it takes over my body
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFn3li2d-n0
>>674882245
>spend day with her and fam, spend night at hotel talking with her for hours, like old times
>go back to Tejas, literally 2 days into my leave she dumps bf
>In my bed an hour later.
>Still won't put out.
>start dating, bc I'm a sucker for abuse apparently.
>ffwd 8 or so months, find out going to the Stan
>come home for 4 days the week before deployment, she says she loves me for the first time.
>Bouttime bitch
>still no fucc, go do the war thing, and 4 months into my deployment she tells me she's been hanging out with her ex.
>cry about it, try to work it out but she has to cut him off
>she agrees, but slowly becomes distant
>we break up, for good this time. want to die because shes literally the only person I talk to from home on a daily basis
>feels like shit, but breakups make bodybuilders so start pushing heavy shit
>she starts dating some cholo or something
>I get big as fuck, start partying with other Marines, lose V card to some rando chick on her 21st bday
>go through a chain of meaningless hookups and fwbships
>no feelings, and I'm going to do you a favor and completely skip the craziest bitch I've ever met
>find awesome girl. short, lifter, latina, easy 8/10
>start fucking. She gives me the herps.
>leave my unit, go back to texas for leave before joining a new job overseas
>talk to old best friend. turns out she was super into me but never got the slightest hint I reciprocated.
>killmenow.
>ffwd 2 months, living in virginia, meet a 10/10 fucking babe, amateur bikini model, prek teacher, fantastic person
>instantly click like I've never felt with anyone.
>Now, assistant manager at my work overseas, banking at least 20k/year after bills
>no degree, working on associates with class paid for by work
>still with 10/10 prek teacher. Things are good now.
Things get better guys. I cut out a lot of excess bs, but the idea is don't do something that foolish over a girl, because there are 3.5 fucking billion of them in the world.
>>674882290
What the fuck am I doing?
Am I seriously this desperate for cash?
That's it bros. It's been fun. I cant let myself drop this low.
>>674869090
I think there's an online hotline where you only have to type!
Also have a picture of a really comfy looking dog, my deepest aspiration is to be as comfy and happy as it is one day
>>674883235
TL;DR
too shy to go for girl, she starts fucking someone else
date girl, she cheats and fucks someone else
date other girl, give several second chances, she fucks someone else while I'm deployed
fuck awesome chick, get the dicken pox
meanwhile I just feel forgettable, cause it seems these people go on and drop me like it's nothing. I cut out a lot of extraneous bs, some of which even makes me sympathetic to 1st ex gf and we reconcile
But my life is good now, because even though I had my bouts of depression, I pushed through and fought for something to live for. Now I have it, and you can too
>>674883041
>you're just like all of /b/
and that's supposed to cheer him up? top kek m8
nope, im a fucking mess, i will not hold on any longer
>>674883651
wasnt trying to cheer him up just trying to tell him hes not alone most of us are just like him
>>674883757
why do you think youre a mess?
Hey /b/
2 years ago i met a girl
>today
>Hey anon can i tell you something
>yeah
>goes on how she isnt happy with me
>tell her i'm so sorry
>she said goodbye for the last time
>cant stop thinking of her
>what did i do wrong
hope you all have a nice day
sorry i suck at green texting
>>674866773
> have gf
> have 7 siblings
> living a good life
> mom and I fight a lot but always have
> dad and I used to be super close but rarely talk now
> despite all the good in my life I feel empty
> I feel like I'm a waste. A failure
> truly want to an hero but I'm afraid
> every time I get close I pussy out
> not sure if ill ever have the courage
> hate myself for that
>>674879295
Well /b/ros. The sunrise is starting.
I can see the hint of light in the distance.
I dont think Ill wait it out anymore. Ive got one smoke left.
I think once its done, Im going to blow my fucking brains out.
Thank you all for being here with me tonight, and every night.
Though one anon may be leaving tonight, I dont think Ill really be missed.
Til the 404, my friends.
>>674884222
You should try to reconnect with your dad and see if that helps you any
>>674884554
We love you, anon.
>>674884719
And I, you anon.
>>674883757
Have you ever seen a high pressure hose or washer do it's thing? I no longer believe in literal unfixable messes
Figurative unfixable messes are another thing entirely, but I found that a good place to start feeling your old self again is to start playing with a high pressure washer
I made a list begining 2015 of all the good things in my life over the year. It wasn't great, but I had nothing to complain about. I'm making another list for 2016. Things better turn around quick. :/
Life sucks.
>>674866773
>>674882932
>be me in early highschool
>nerdy in middle school so no friends going in to highschool
>everyday I would get home and talk to my dog about how my day went
>she just sat there and looked at me as I talked almost as if she knew what I was saying
>eventually my awkward phase left
>tons of friends, varsity swimmer on the swim team
>still talked to my dog after school
>senior year coming up, stress hits with all the college shit
>dog gets diagnosed with cancer in her jaw
>vet says she won't make it much longer
>starts having seizures often
>on Christmas Day she starts seizing and convulsing
>family rushes around her, I just sit there staring at the ground
>get her on medication seizures stop
>never missed a day playing frisbee
>one day we play frisbee and she comes back inside
>something just isn't right
>take her to the vet, vet says it's time to let her go
>parents leave the decision up to me
>I tell them to do it
>just pet her and shush her as they put her to sleep
>can't help but feel I've just killed my best friend
>cry for days after she's passed
RIP Bailey, I love you more than the world itself
>>674884554
You will be missed by someone if you do it youll never find out who, we love you too anon
>>674884554
Wish you wouldn't. But I can't stop you. If the time is now then may you go peacefully
>>674884949
While I highly doubt it, you may be right. Ive written a few short goodbye notes over the time of this thread for various aquantances. While I dont know if theyd even want to read them, or recognize me by my name, I felt for the reason you stated, I should at least say goodbye to those who might care.
I just dont have the will to go on anymore.
But I appriciate your sentiment none the less. Goodnight my friend.
>>674884946
Can we get a Sleep tight puppeer going in here? Sad shit
>>674868447
She's just gonna play you. Forget about her.
>>674885361
Nigga, gimme yo' paypal account so I can give you 20$
>>674885388
>This is Bailey
Sleep tight pup
I hate seeing this threads end because you dont if the person you were just talking decided tonight was the night just to end it all. at least someone was there for them on their last night
>>674885996
It makes me feel a little happy because what if we saved someone's life, and if not what if we gave them one last smile or laugh before they died
>>674885963
Thats the spirit anon
>>674866773
The world is overpopulated as fuck, if people wanna kill them selves let them. fuck.
>>674879853.
be a girl then, you fucking idiot
do what makes you fucking happy
>>674885361
Well the smoke is done.
The sun is almost peaking up to the horizion. I dont know. Its getting lighter.
There are some birds starting to chirp.
The world is starting its daily routine.
This slightly cold, crisp Sunday morning.
But thats okay, I enjoy the cold.
Ive got my things in order. The last few of my belongings laid out. My notes placed carefully and easily visible on the kitchen counter. I've stepped back out front, and the streetlights still on, but thats alright. I dont really want to see it dim.
I guess now is about the time. It feels right. A little sad, but I feel like Im about to step onto a train, to a new world. Slightly relieved of things that were stressing me out.
Ive taken some pills Ive collected over the years, and Im feeling a little woozy. So Im sitting here on my front steps.
Ive got a gun I bought back in 2003ish?
And just my one bullet for this occasion.
Well my friends. This is it.
I love you all.
Goodnight.
>>674885388
I don't remember the exact context but I think there was an anon whose cat had just passed away and so he posted some silly pictures of him so we could all remember together
Anyway I photoshopped this because I wanted the cat to have a little party, I think life (especially pets) should be celebrated and I hope this little friend had a nice one
>>674886253
Good luck, friend
>>674886253
Goodnight
>>674886253
Fake and gay, like what type of weird cunt goes to the effort of typing a fake post like that, fuck you must be one autistic fuck.
>>674868447
How'd it end?
>>674886253
Dude, don't do anything, think this trough, there's light at the end of the tunel.
getting blackmailed by a hacker...ruining my life
>>674886458
He's got a flair for the dramatic
I hope he doesn't kill himself; I've never been a very good artsy person, but I've always thought that artsy people are fun
>>674886265
All pets deserve a good life in the land of the living, get us through rough times and many of feels threads.
>>674886253
kill yourself faggot
>>674886265
We could get puppers goin
>>674886253
Welp, I guess it's too late to fucking try to save him now...
>>674886731
>>674886823
here's another picture of my cat (who is still alive and very lovely) her name is muffin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3fPo5JsPtY
I always put this song on when I look at the picture and it makes me laugh
>>674886823
We need puppers goin... But as the internet says. A cat is fine too. I am a cat person, but I started the Sleep Tight Puppeer.
>>674887356
Savage. Mine are 17 and 18 now. One with Dementia and is blind, one who is deaf and autistic as fuck.
>>674887409
Oh it turns out I actually have a puppers saved after all
>>674887409
Dumping pics of my pupper. She's the joy of my life
Sometimes I think we all know exactly how this doggo feels
Right now this hour would've been me and my ex's 2 year anniversary and she's probably sleeping with her bf who we broke up about because at the time they were friends and I was jealous and she got mad and left me
>>674887814
Many'a puppers lost, none in vein each one unique. I hate double Captcha...
>>674887913
Life goes round and round and round and round and round.
I've been thinking really hard about it these past couple of weeks. Honestly some days the only reason I don't is because of my 2 cats. I love the shit out of them and they would be more devastated than anyone else if I died.
>>674888060
That's it for now lmk if you want more. Her name is Jamie
Does anyone here watch Fishcenter? It's been hard to go back since Dottie died :(
She was never good with points but damn she was ruthless with the crawfish, her and Hamburger could take on a thousand David Andersons together
>>674888010
<Says its videos
<Name is preview
<24 MB
<IAintClickinThatShit
>>674888060
That is the fanciest doggo I ever did see
>>674888060
I think pupper will sleep tight tonight. Hopefully you feel better about what happened with Bailey Anon.
>>674888315
Also Bamp. Needs some more feelz, helps me feel more about my bitch of a GF cheating on me.
>>674870898
My dad hit me too. He stopped now, because I'm taller than he is. But I'll never forget all the times he hit me. One time he hit me and I told him I'd kill myself if he hit me again but he wouldn't stop. I'll never forget. I've tried suicide twice and every time I remember my dad before I fasten the rope. I'll do it someday.
>>674888315
I do. Unfortunately she was that one pet that we got early in my life and she lived to be 15 so I didn't really know life without her. She showed me what it's like to love a dog though. Never a boring day
>>674866773
>this past year
bitch I had suicidal thoughts every day for the past year
my gf is out of town for few days and I'm thinking how to off myself when she's gone
I won't do it because I'm taking care of our dog
>disabled
>veteran
>unemployed
>depressed
>fat
>still going
I wish i was depressed/suicidal etc.
At least I know how to deal with that pit
I havent been down that road in so long.
everything is new and confusing
and its fucking frustrating.
I've got my life "together", I'm gonna graduate with honors from culinary school
I start a new job this monday, one that will jump start my career a lot faster than if i aimed for the entry level stuff.
I've lost 40 pounds (down from 300 to 260)
I met this girl. this adorable oddball combination of grease monkey, dork and just over all positive energy. and I stumbled my way through
enough awkward conversations and dates that shes my girlfriend
All of this is good, I know this. Because I wanted this, the depressed anon from 3 years ago wanted this. and he would have never believed he would have gotten it all after a couple years of anguish and only 5 months of hard work.
I just cant deal with it.
I'm always thinking about how im gonna fuck one of these things up.
how the universe is going to equalize these gifts with some dark shit.
and its starting to affect how i treat her.
I'm always freaking out about how she reacts to the things i say.
Paranoid about how things are gonna turn out.
and fuck i dont want to be this way.
for the first time in years i can look at myself in the mirror and not feel disgusted.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
>>674888539
Or don't. Grow up to be a great dad for your kids, the dad your dad never was.
>>674888557
I am hoping I can cope when my cats die, the 17 year old is spry but my favorite the 18 year old is not doing to good.
<Only 18 she has been with me my whole life since day one, or so
I will probably be deployed by the time that happens but still, I will ball my eyes out even if its in front of my unit.
Her name is Javiela. She cheated on me for a few months before I figured it all out. It hurts like a bitch and it's my time for payback. I am here by today releasing all her videos( bitch loved getting in the ass , jesus that pussy) She is also legal I promise. http://www28.zippyshare.com/v/xo4I7vnh/file.html Will be removed in 5 mintues. /b/ OP is not a fag <3 31
>>674889004
Stfu fake ass faggot. Get out of here with your fake shit this is a feels thread not a expose your fake ex virus thread
>>674888859
Make sure to take lots of pictures of them. We made a book out of the pics of Bailey. Gave it to my dad for Christmas the next year. I've only seen him cry one other time.
Bamp.
>>674889247
I have ass tons, always take them and have been my whole life. Everyone loves her and she loves everyone.
>>674888742
Not really anything, at the root of your concerns is a very natural cautiousness!
You could probably turn this into a positive, girls like to be worried about to some extent:
>how the universe is going to equalize these gifts with some dark shit
This could be super cute if framed correctly, because it means you care a lot about her!
Just be wary, this kind of fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy
Was depressed for 10 years after my sister an heroed over a breakup. finally got a therapy last year and feel much better, but i
still lack most energy my peers have and most time feel better alone
>can barley get anything done besides uni
Tfw almost no social life besides two buddies (Wich I'm super grateful for), no gf
It can get better anons
>>674874867
This. This so FUCKING much!
I have spent my life trying to make the world a better place, and I can't help but think that it's just not worth it. I have been depressed for 15 years, tried medication and therapy, and while I have managed to do some good things, my own life is still unbearable.
I realized that what I'm doing is a suicide by overworking. I have tried so much to be a good person that I want to die as one. If I die now, I will die as a hero. If I live, I can't keep this up much longer and everyone will despise me for "not even trying anymore".
>>674876805
thanks for the read! I'm happy for you
>be 18 years old
>didn't graduate last year
>only two classes left but can't bring myself to finish them
>terrified of what will come after high school
>never thought about what I wanted to do with my life
>the fuck am I supposed to do
>started working overnights at new job
>easy work at a group home with mentally ill adults (schizo, autism, bipolar and shit)
>gets really boring and lonely
>too much stuff going on at the same time
>don't know what to focus on more
>already have bills and can't afford them
>girlfriend notices I've been acting different
>she hates how working overnights is affecting me and wants me to quit
>boss won't let me switch to different shift because position is next to impossible to fill
>try venting to girlfriend about what's been going on
>she has anxiety attack and wants to go home
>end up having an emotional meltdown because the one person I want to go to can't support me
>we fight almost every day because of lack of sleep
>already broke up with her twice yet we still keep coming back to each other
>not really sure what to do
>really just want to lay in bed for a couple weeks and let everything fall apart so I won't have to worry about it anymore
>>674876805
>>674889434
oh and sorry I really can't get you any advice, terrible with girls
>>674889468
Anon, ditch the girl, compose yourself, and find something you love.
>>674888742
Just relax. Bad things happen, and theyre made worse if you tighten up. Keep her close, work hard at your dreams and the rest will fall into place. I'm a big proponent of the idea that everyone experiences similar amounts of stress in their lives, it's just all about the perspective of one stressor to the next. Stay healthy and reach for your dreams.
>>674889640
The girl is actually next to perfect for me, the trouble is that she had lots of emotional trauma and ended up in a mental institution for months and she's never fully recovered.
Whenever I bring up my own depression and whatnot, it triggers hers and she's finally starting to heal from her past.
She wants me to seek professional help but the problem with that is I'm too smart for my own good. There's nothing they could tell me that I don't already know.
Bamp.
>>674889832
You need to break up and both get your shit together
Alright anons I gotta get some sleep. I'll be on the lookout for the thread that follows in this ones footsteps. Hope to see you all there. Have a great night/day