Best racist joke wins
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Best racist joke wins
What do white people and toilets have in common? They're both white, they both have big mouths, and they're both full of shit.
>>674845593
What's the worst part about being a black Jew during the Holocaust?
You had to sit in the back of the oven.
>>674846021
Hey look, it's Leslie Jones.
>>674845593
How do you keep niglets from jumping I the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
How do you kill 100 flies at once?
Slap a Somalian child in the face.
What do you call a niggress that had 100 abortions?
A crime fighter.
BLM
>>674845593
Why is there cotton in pill bottles?
To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.
>>674847281
/thread
>>674845768
kek
>>674847289
Kek
What do you call a black priest?
Holy shit.
>>674845593
saw a nigger walking down the street with a tv under his arm the other day and i thought to myself that looks like mine.....then i remembered mine was at home polishing my shoes
I always feel guilty for laughing at this kind of humour. I'm not racist, I mean, I used to have a black friend before my father sold him.
>>674845768
unexpected kek
i actually came to hear some Indonesian jokes
Whys it so hard to break up with a Japanese chick?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message
>>674845768
My toilet is full of water, not shit.
>>674850206
Spotted the Aryan!
>>674845768
If your toilet is filled with shit then you're probably a nigger.
>>674850392
I guess white people are the only people with wnough sense to flush then.
>>674845768
Good joke, muh nigga.
>>674850206
>>674850470
Found the cucks who take jokes literally and lack a sense of humor. Stay mad.
i was walking down the street the other night and i saw this nigger with a stolen tv and i thought "that looks like mine" but then i remembered that he's at home shining my shoes
>>674845593
OC:
Why did white people spend so much money on Apollo 11?
They wanted to be the first to walk on the moon crickets.
>>674850906
No its just that if a joke makes no sense then it isn't funny.
>>674848198
Wonderful.
>what's a word starting with N that you don't want to call a black man?
Neighbor
>why are there no Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?
Because there's a target in every corner
>why are aspirines white?
Because they work
>>674851176
>OC
Is that why it's shit?
>Ben Carson complaining he wasn't getting enough speaking time at the Republican debate
"Hey I know you guys are strict constitutionalists, but I didn't know you'd limit me to 3/5 my alloted time."
>>674850616
lighten up and tell some nigger jokes, nigga.
>>674845593
A nigger walks into a store and buys something.
hahahahahaha
What do you call a barn full of black people?
Antique farm equipment.
>How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his food stamps underneath his work boots.
>>674851553
Yup.
White people have super hero crime fighters. In the hood they have Black man and Robbin'.
>>674851719
kek.
A successful black shoplifter... as if!
why to niggers only need 2 pallbearers?
because a trash can only had 2 handles
what does a nigger do after sex?
15 years
>>674851553
How come no answer in the other thread? You did get your GED didn't you?
what's black on top and white at the bottom?
rape
What's a nigger's favorite type of grape?
>gangrape
How do start a rave in Ethiopia?
>stick food to the ceiling
What's the proper category for a story about a nigger in college?
>fantasy
How do you perform a pregnancy test on a nigress?
>stick a fried chicken leg in her pussy and leave it in there for 15 minutes
>if any of the meat on the chicken leg is missing, there's gonna be another gang member
>>674851267
a bicycle and a walrus jump off of canada. who hits the ground first????? THE ONE CARRYING THE TV
>>674852754
you got good stuff
>>674852551
What does a nigger do after sex?
Shakes hands with the white woman's husband.
>>674846667
So close to quads
>>674851100
THIS WILL KILL YOU DO NOT DO IT. if you dont believe me, look it up for yourself.
A white woman and a black man are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.
When the couple arrives at the woman’s apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undressing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant sex with each other.
However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, “before you take them off….is it true what they say about black guys?”
With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said “baby, of course.” He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.
>>674853000
I GOT TREEEEEEPS CHEck eM
How do you pick up a jewish girl? Broom and a dust pan.
How do you get a jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve.
What do you call a jew in a tornado? A duststorm.
A black jew asked his mom "am I more black or jewish?" she said, "black, why?"
"kid at school is selling his bike for $50, I wanted to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it."
Whats worse than the holocaust? 6 million jews.
Why are all black people fast? Slow ones are in jail.
I heard a white guy who worked at subway just got put in prison. Ironic, he used to sell the foot longs.
Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? Pizza can feed a family.
How does hitler celebrate his birthday? Bakes a kike.
Why was the jewish kid sitting on a chimney? He was waiting for his parents.
What does a gay guy call an upside down table? Seating for 4.
Whats the difference between a rock and a dead baby? I cant fuck a rock.
What does a baby look like in the microwave? I don't know, i close my eyes when I jack off.
I know these weren't all racist but who gives a shit
>>674852894
Fucking way above my head, /b/ro.
>>674845593
how much does the holo cost
>>674853212
U JUST DINT HAVE A SNCE OF HUMER OK GET OUT OF MY /BB/ and fuck OFF MY THREAD MY FRIEND *TIPS TIP"***
4 quarters and a nigger don't add up to a dollar
What's the difference between an 8 year old girl and a washing machine?
The washing machine doesn't bleed and cry for 3 hours after I put a load in it.
>>674852754
What's a jew's biggest dilemma?
>free pork
What's big, black, and hangs from a tree in Alabama?
>a nigger
How did the Asian family's cat die?
>ever heard of what's in Asian food?
What’s so good about an Ethiopian blow job? You just KNOW she’ll swallow
What's the worst part about fucking a dead baby?
Washing the blood stains out of the clown costume.
Why do Mexicans walk around school like they own the place?
Because their dads built it and their moms clean it.
What's the difference between a Pontiac and 100 dead babies?
I don't like to take a ride in a Pontiac.
whats black and doesnt work? Decaf
>>674853670
NFL has 80% white quarterbacks. There's gotta be a joke in there somewhere.
Give a nignog a full football scholarship and he won't even give you a quarter back.
>>674854124
what does Pontiac stand for?
>Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac
>>674845593
i dare you to watch this 6 minut video thru
without stopping because u think u know anything. watch it all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPjzfGChGlE
>>674853873
zozzle
>>674852754
>Gangrape
>>674850906
Wha....? Cuck isn't a general insult. It actually refers to a specific thing. Lurk more and learn the lingo, newfriend.
>>674849847
underrated, fucking keked.
>>674853736
What do you call a smart nigger?
>nonexistent
What's a compliment in the West, but an argument in the Middle East?
>you're the bomb
Why does a gorilla always have a frown on its face?
>in a million years, it's gonna be a nigger
What do bricks and fat white women have in common?
They both get laid by Mexicans.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his EBT card under his work boots.
>>674854294
fml, now i'll get confused with lehyphena and leminusa
>>674852059
>>674854973
I wonder if repost or two anons using the exact same joke
>>674854828
Why do niggers have pink palms and feet?
Because they were on all fours when god spray-painted 'em.
There's an apartment bulding, in the building there is a black family, a Mexican family, and a white family. one day at noon a plane crashes into the building, who survives?
The white family because Mom and Dad were at work, and the kids were at school.
>>674845593
Knock knock.
> who's there?
Allah
> allh who?
allahu ackbar, ALLAHU ACKBAAAAAARRRR
>>674854473
this guy seems cool
>>674854473
I actually found that very informative, I'm already voting.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
>>674845593
i'm all for protective-racism if you live in a high-nigger-volume area, but cereally, you faggots don't even know who Patrick Ewing is.
>>674855494
>>674855483
cant say anything but ... fucking great man. cheers!
most people dont even know 1 bite of what is really going on
Two niggers, Dyrone and Darnell, are arguing about who is heavier. So they jump of a skyscraper in a bet to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?
>society
How can you tell when a nigger is fully baptized?
When the bubbles stop coming up.
>>674855570
hehe, race mixing joke
>>674854876
Why do jews have big noses?
>because air is free
What's the best way to trap a jew?
>leave a trail of nickels that leads to an oven
I can nazi how holocaust jokes are funny, they aren't in Mein Kampfort zone, Anne Frankly, six million jews died
>>674855416
nice
>>674848194
kek'd to this one
Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving?
>because KFC doesn't open on public holidays
How long does it take a white woman to shit?
>about 9 months
>>674845593
>>674846021
>>674846408
>>674846667
>>674848220
>>674849847
>>674851719
>>674851689
>>674852754
>>674852895
>>674853159
>>674854294
>>674854618
>>674854732
>>674854828
>>674854926
>>674855146
>>674855115
>>674855964
>>674856051
Fuck off racist scum
You're not funny. The only thing funny here is that you think these are jokes
You're nothing but trash. Go back to you're mom's basements and stop clogging up /b/ with your shit
>>674856818
>>674856818
but you liked my jokes yeah?
>>674856818
Learn your place, plebeian.
>>674856818
Get back in line
>>674856818
>>674856818
>racist
Why is a racist like a drunk? Because whatever they say ends in a slur
>>674857893
don't forget this one
>>674857893
why did you choose a hottie for the white chick? all the black ones are ugly... is someone being racist?
>>674857462
I AM a white man, fuck nugget
You're just a piece of trash lying on the sidewalk
> Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims.. 60 stories in 6 seconds
Why is a gorilla always sad? Because in a million years it will be a nigger.
>>674857624
Lol I'm not a cultural marxist, I'm a legit Marxist
ALL POWER TO THE WORKERS
SMASH RACISM
SMASH THE CAPITALIST STATE
>>674856818
Is that bait so tasty? Does it taste so good?
>>674858347
Yes, clearly that's the point, you idiot.
>>674855834
Yeah I'm a pretty open minded guy
why is it easier for a black man to come out of the closet? he doesnt have to tell his dad he is gay.
>>674857462
Apparently they just haven't worked out drawing yet.
>>674858691
no need for name calling, this is a racist thread, friend
>>674856818
this is bait but will respond
>comes to racist joke thread
>gets butt hurt over racist jokes
>>674851573
>"Hey I know you guys are strict constitutionalists, but I didn't know you'd limit me to 3/5 my allotted time."
OK, now this is actually funny.
>>674858936
Jimmies are maximum rustle
>>674858380
You're white? Stop being a Race Traitor. Seriously.
>>674859118
>>674859118
Yep, white as snow
How bout you stop being a racist douchecanoe?
>>674859367
>>674857292
>>674845593
What do you do about the nigger hanging from my tree?
You mind your own damn business, how I treat my nigger is my business.
>>674846667
That clever. OC?
>>674859509
Mfw you really got us good with your slick monochromatic maymays
>>674859575
rice dicked gook detected
>>674849837
What did one Indonesian say to the other?
>>674859367
Racism isn't the point here... It's the facts. The facts are, they aren't like us. By pretending they are, you betray your heritage, your race, your culture. Better yourself, Anon. Realize your potential as a member of the Greater Race.
Also, who says douchecanoe? Who do you think you are? Some sort of John Stewart knockoff, but with a remarkably lower IQ?
What do you call an asian ginger? a mandarin
>>674859571
>>674851719
kek
>>674859898
You must be a fucking idiot if you still think IQ measures anything. Read a book, the tests have always been rigged. It's based on nothing more than cultural knowledge.
Open your fucking eyes and see that the real divisions are by class and racism is and always has been created by capitalists to divide and conquer the proletariat.
You're having the wool pulled over your eyes by your capitalist overlords and you can't even see it, lol
>Why was 6 afraid of 7?
because he was black
>Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
because he's black
>>674848220
Kek
>>674845593
I really honestly don't see the similarities between black people and monkeys
>>674860524
You're really tellin' 'em, aren't you, champ? I'm really impressed with how much you've learned about politics during your sophomore year of college. I'll call up my good friend, greatest American President Barab Obabo and see if you can get you a position this year as a Professional Mess-Fixer in charge of deciding just how much money the big bad rich people are going to give away to underprivileged communities that would otherwise be forced to fight in the annual hunger games staged by Donald Trump and Yeb Boosh.
>>674860524
I smell a sanders supporter, lmao. And it's not IQ tests. The intelligence test does not exist, that shows Niggers testing at even an equal level as Whites.
Also, take your anonymous occupy wall street coal burning subversive drivel somewhere else. Your anti-capitalistic foolishness isn't amusing.
>What does a jewish pedophile say?
Hey kid, wanna buy some candy
>>674853736
First one kekkable, second two just embarrassing.
>>674861285
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
>cut the rope
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
>take your foot off his head
>>674861173
Lol, Obama and Hillary are capitalist scum too
>>674853208
>A black jew asked his mom "am I more black or jewish?" she said, "black, why?"
"kid at school is selling his bike for $50, I wanted to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it."
Drake's dilemma.
>>674861715
Yeah, fuck 'em. Follow ur dream, bcuz burni thnsk u shud.
>>674853711
Fucking 8 year old girls are the race I hate most.
>>674861275
You think you're so cool and edgy because you sit on /b/ all day telling shit jokes about black people.
You're just sad.
Finish your bag of Cheetos, turn your computer off, and get a life.
>>674854124
LOL DEAD BABIES! XDDD
SO RACIST OMG
Whenever someone calls me racist I say "I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for niggers"
>>674852754
>there's gonna be another gang member
That's good shit anon.
>>674854732
That is seriously incredible talent though.
>>674862283
Wow you really read me for filth, now I feel really bad. You saw right through my facade, my Mountain Dew will never taste as sweet. You really showed me that making generalized assumptions about someone based on certain characteristics is inherently wrong.
Unless of course we are generalizing Niggers for their disproportionate rate of violent crime, just one of a whole host of degenerate activities rightfully associated with the simians.
>>674855115
sleep tight, egger
Whats yellow and black and makes you laugh?
A bus full of niggers driving off a cliff.
What do you call a retarded jew? Auschwistic.
>>674855187
>N*****
>>674859221
>kek
>>674863031
Look, your stats are complete bullshit, this is based on convictions, and the racist capitalist state always arrests more black people (because pigs are racist bastards), rigs juries full of white racists, and lets off rich white people. Your stats prove fucking nothing except that the state is just as racist as you are.
So just fuck off /b/, because we don't want your racist ass here.
What does Niggers and apples have in common?
They both look good hanging at trees
>>674856384
I'm pretty sure it does.
White boys get circumcised when born
Nigger boys get their tails cut off
Poland invented the toilet
Germany improved it by putting a hole in the middle
>>674863821
Dude, you are trying so hard, it's fabulous.
>>674863821
Why the hell did you throw capitalist in there? It's not a bad thing you yknow
>>674863821
>We
Everyone else seems to be having a good time.
Also, I don't think you can attribute less than 14% of a nation's population committing nearly 50% of all violent crime to a rigged justice system.
Also those "pigs" are the only reason niggers haven't slit your throat with a rusted out piece of barbed-wire. So enjoy being alive. You have a hard-working, diligent Police Officer to thank.
Difference between an nigger and a picnic table?
Picnic table can support a family of 4
>>674857893
This one is just lame.
>>674859221
Hey nice, I made that like 2 hours ago.
>>674859118
>theriuthly guyth I'm thuper therial
>>674864396
Cops are lying, murderous thugs who only exist to protect the profits and property of capitalists
>>674859072
Thanks anon. You have to know something to get it.
>>674859571
Did yuh just make that one up, Travis?
Cause we're all proud ub yuh. You're gettin better every decade.
>>674864953
Wuuuhuhuhuhhwowowowweeewow, we've got an Anonymous (TM) edgelord, over here. He fights for justice, equality, and digital rights +/- $15/hr minimum wage! Take THAT, Islamic State! YOU'RE NEXT, DONALD DRUMPF (Teehee, "Drumpf" xD rawr)
>>674864953
>>674863821
oooooh tasty mait m8, ya had me up until you said fuck off /b/, we dont want your racist ass here, good one homie
>>674859708
...or are me?
>>674864136
Thanks, I am pretty fabulous
What would you call the Flinstones if they were black?
Niggers.
>>674845593
>>674853421
>>674856818
g8 b8 m8
>>674864953
If by that you mean they protect the shining, beautiful civilization that Capitalism built, then yes. They protect the society that has produced every single good thing in this nation...
The society created by white men. You say capitalism, I say civilization. Without it, we have utter poverty, and the complete lack of progress and culture.
Go to bed, friendo. You'll need your rest so you can bother strangers tomorrow when you work your shift for the Bernie Sanders phone bank.
>>674858554
>>all power to the workers
so what you're saying is, you want to disenfranchise blacks.
>>674865450
english motherfucker do you speak it?
>>674862525
What a hoot & a holler.
>>674864127
Scotland invented the condom by wrapping sheep intestine around their dicks.
England soon improved the condom by removing the intestine from the sheep first.
how many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?
two in the front, two in the back, and six million in the ashtray.
>>674864396
That picture s-s-scaares me!
>>674865675
Its funny because the profits of your labour are going to billionaires to buy their third yacht and you don't even realise it
I work every day, and every weekend I'm standing up against the cops at protests for my rights
I don't work no fucking phone banks
>>674865862
Yes I am speakable English motherfucker very quite well yes.
>>674865768
The racist capitalist state disenfranchises black people
Communism provides to each according to their need
>>674856818
give me more of them sweet, precious black tears
>>674845593
What would you call The Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers
>>674858554
>>674867050
I'm white, asshole
Read the fucking thread
>>674866882
what you call me ? i will fuckin rek your sideways celestial ass
>>674860524
>>674845593
How do you put a black guy on a diet?
You hide his food stamps under his work boots.
>>674866724
Yep, you've enlightened me. I was a sheep before, just mindlessly handing my money over to the 1% so they can buy all the things they don't deserve and didn't work hard to earn.
>>674867462
Bernie's the only one not going to AIPAC to suck jew dick next week fwiw.
die racists scum. curse you.
>>674866724
What does a Mexican duck say?
>Guac guac
>>674855964
dude on the right is actual legit though
he's this national hero in Iraq, because he literally has killed that many ISIS fighters
I don't understand how he does it, but he's feared among ISIS. they're apparently not even allowed to say his name because it will rustle jimmies
>not even joking
>>674868185
Holy shit man you just made my night!!!!! I did not know that!
>>674867184
That is the perfect white to oppose.
>>674867278
..sorry am meant none offended towards your body person personal and did not try insulting against yours.
>>674867848
Why the fuck would trans people stand with Israel? Israel is an imperialist, colonialist, oppressive state
Why would rape of anyone be funny?
The Democrats are capitalist fucks too
Why would I be against Christianity? Religious freedom is important
I'm not against white people, I'm against capitalism
If you're going to try and make fun of me at least make some fucking sense anon
>>674861285
>winrar for best racist joke
>>674848807
5/7
>>674854294
leunderscorea
>>674845593
whats the best part about having sex with a baby?
either way you go its deepthroat
>>674868395
>>674868185
Ayyub Faleh al-Rubaie, known by his nom de guerre Abu Azrael (Arabic: ابو عزرائيل, literally "Father of Azrael"), also known as the "Angel of Death", is a commander[1] of the Kataib al-Imam Ali, an Iraqi Shi'a militia group of the Popular Mobilization Forces that is fighting ISIL/ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant) in Iraq.[2] He has become a public icon of resisting ISIL in Iraq among Shia Iraqis with a large following on social media.[3] His motto and catchphrase is "illa tahin" (إلا طحين), meaning "Grind you to dust", that is, he would pulverize ISIL militants until nothing remains of them but powder.
He was a former militia member in Muqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army[4] which fought against the United States during the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.[5]
He is also known for his war crimes, ruthless acts of revenge he has carried out against the alleged ISIL fighters and their supporters.[6][7][8] He published a gruesome video where he carves flesh off the charred body of a suspected ISIL fighter he burnt to death.[6] According to Amnesty International and other human rights organizations, his militia group has been accused of dozens of war crimes, including executions of Sunni civilians, kidnappings and torture murders.
How do you starve a Blackman?
Hide food stamps under work boots
>>674867821
>newfag
>>674856786
makes literally no sense, kill yourself
>>674869673
That's beautiful. My life is better for this knowledge.
>>674869979
She's obviously constipated. It's a second year med school joke, you philistine.
>>674859775
What?
>why are all mexicunts fast
cause the slow ones are behind the border
>>674869586
I AWARD THIS BEST RACIST JOKE
>>674868185
>>674868395
Yeah but he died. His compound was attacked and they killed him and his team, however he took about half of them out before he died. Read it on a military Facebook thing, don't know source or if it's true but remember the source being creditable
Why didn't Hitler drink tequila?
>because it made him mean.
>>674870190
Who cares? Nobody knows their gay language.
>>674869675
Kek
>>674871589
i remember when i was 12
>>674866724
At this point I really can't tell if this is a bad troll or just someone who is this dumb. In this day and age, either is possible.
>>674845593
Trump
>>674871808
>>674848220
Good one
>>674855146
I heard the same joke, but the punchline was "because there's a little good in everyone!"
>>674846484
>>674849847
best one yet
>>674845768
Anon doesn't flush his hole in the ground
>>674849847
>mfw when half japanese half american
>>674858347
because all niggers are ugly
They held a look-a-like competition in China.
Everybody won
if a mexican and a nigger are sitting in a tree, and one falls off. Who hits the ground first?
The mexican...
the rope stopped the nigger half way down.
>>674853711
you heard her crying for 3 hours after? you must not have buried her deep enough
>>674873714
>>674860524
