/nzg/ - The New Zealand General!
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
/nzg/ - The New Zealand General!
South Auckland reporting
>>674697593
dunedin in, yo
>>674698062
flat bush here
Dunners reporting.
>>674698111
Aye yo, sick digits on entry
>Christchurch
Lonely saturday
What Ya drinking fullas?
>>674698176
Manurewa
hamilton reporting in
wassup my niggas
My car got stolen in South mall today. Fuck south auckland
>>674698359
Camera so good you can make out the fingerprints.
>>674698522
Hahaha. Wasn't me bro, I'm white. What kinda car?
>>674698359
>>674698528
Doxxed
Who wants to come on a walk with me?
Welly reporting
How come heaps of people have weirdly proportioned NZ flags? Its supposed to be 1:2 height:width but i swear I've seen so many 2:3 ratio flags with union jacks even shorter than they should be at that proportion.
Or maybe I'm just going mental.
>>674698522
was piece of shit was it?
where was it parked?
what time was it parked?
what kind of security do you have?
>>674698886
>20:40:20
>>674698887
>20:40:20
It is time.
>>674698886
>20:40:20
>>674698887
>20:40:20
Screencap this.
>>674698254
>Aye yo, sick digits on entry
because im fly af, you should know this by now.
>>674699025
Here you go
Much happen in these threads recently?
>it's Saturday and I'm the live sound for the third weekend in a row
I can't tell what's better, money or being able to drink.
How's your Saturday NZ
>>674699207
Got recruited to Isis once
>>674699163
You did a terrible job. Is this trolling?
>>674699273
Fucking missed you bro, lol.
"Come again!" hahaha you're crack up as bro.
>>674699303
Phone app. You get what you get
>>674699207
He posted it again.
>>674699421
Try it on a different machine.
>>674699408
Aye? What?
>>674699552
Take your own screenshot you lazy cunt
>>674699571
Lol funny, gee.
>>674699658
Can you just try, please.
>>674699677
Go to bed phetu
>>674698647
>>674698949
Fucking Mazda Demio. Silver. The cops were chasing it but lost it in Otara. Fucking islanders tbh I saw the security footage. I hope they get the shit kicked out of them
>>674698359
Why's your thumb so long?
What did you have for tea?
What did you want?
>>674697593
>>674699890
To accessorise with my cock
welly reportin in
>>674699932
>Burgers
>Didn't care.
>>674699968
please, not again. for the millionth time
>>674700036
Where in welly fam
>>674699932
>Some shit Indian food provided by vegan party host
>an omelette, digging those lately
>>674699887
It'll be in the bush burnt up by now. Hope you had insurance
>>674699968
nice push up bra. at least over half that shit is foam padding ahahahaaa
>>674700099
newtown/berhampore fam wby
>>674699932
>What did you have for tea?
Satay Chicken Stir-fry
>What did you want?
Pussy
>>674700125
It was a shit box anyways. I was just using it to get around until I could save for something nicer. Makes me hate islanders more. Cunts should be deported
This right here fucked me off so much today. "Need to speak an Asian language" .... The cunt is basically saying, "You have to be Asian.".... cause if the language was at all vital, they would've specified which. There is at least a few dozen Asian languages, what if I happened to speak the least popular one that isn't used by any chinks in NZ. I'm triggered.
>>674699887
what kind of security did you have on it?
was it even locked?
>>674699932
chicken nuggets
cock
>>674700405
No shit it was locked. I didn't have any alarm or anything. I didn't intend on keeping it.
>>674700250
how can be newtown and berhampoe at the same time?
I'm heading of to Canada for the rest of the year in a month... I don't think I'll miss South Auckland, especially being shot at in a train station
>>674700501
your own damn fault then criminal scum.
>police chased it into otara and lost it.
doubtful.
>>674700618
how do you know you were shot at?
probably just a car back fire you pussy nigga.
>>674700350
I know the feel bro. There was a group of cocos on the train this morning yelling songs at the top of their lungs. Everyone was pissed off train conductors did nothing. Then as they got off they were still yelling blocking the whole platform shuffling at a snails pace.
If I wasn't such a pussy I'd have punched one of them.
>>674700602
it's right on the line of both
>>674700618
I call bs. I've been threatened with knives in south Auckland but never shot at and I've lived here most of my life
>>674700728
>>674700905
http://www.stuff.co.nz/auckland/local-news/papakura-courier/77896152/man-stable-after-papakura-train-station-shooting
>>674700669
How am I the criminal scum if my car got stolen you autist. And it did get chased into Otara. The cop who came to see my already had the rego and asked if it was my car lmfao
>>674701029
I know you are criminal scum.
>>674701020
Asians. They don't count.
>>674701177
What are you? An Indian? Lol
>>674700898
you just got doxxed g.
>>674700086
it's a meme you dip
>>674701307
*shrug* ok cool. whatdu get?
>>674701244
I mean it as in I was at the train station when someone drove up with a sawn off shotgun and fired
>>674701420
Was he Asian?
>>674701419
what do you mean what'd I get?
>>674701020
you said you were shot at, not shot.
>>674701534
what info did you get?
>>674701337
Its not a meme you faggot.
>>674701618
I didn't mean to imply I was shot, I was just showing the shooting that I had the fortune to witness
>>674701682
I'm comin' for that boypussy.
prepare yourself.
>>674701337
>>674701760
It kind if is a meme by now but really it's the calling card of that poster.
>>674701895
taking credit for other people being shot.
pfft get out of my country you pussy.
>>674701921
its not a meme.
>>674701967
;_; plz
>>674701906
oh it's ready for you. all you did was google the line of berhampore and newtown XD
>>674702010
just embrace it. it's easier that way
>Christchurch
Signing in
>>674702404
I have a location.
all I need to do is walk around that area yelling out dank memes and someone will respond.
>>674702595
tbh it's quite a bigger area than that.
but i tip my fedora to you sir.
Currently on first play through of FF7.
38hrs 48mins in.
Just finished fucking around in the crater now about to assault Midgar and fuck me up some faggot named Hojo.
hawkes bay
i bought new nail polish
>>674702895
Dat chocobo racing/breeding though. I spent 300 hours in that shit
>>674702804
I'm coming.
>>674703003
ffs trap.
>>674703003
what collloouuurrrr
>>674703003
I bought new fingerpaint
>>674703121
>trap
>>674703128
petal soft by OPI!! I didnt intend to buy it but as soon as I saw it it was a must have
>>674703130
what colours brah
>>674703074
I haven't done any racing or breeding other than the required race for the story.
Just parachuted into Midgar like a mother fucking b0ss nigga.
>>674703265
Blue, green, red, yellow
>>674703121
>>674702562
Ey another one
>>674703265
>petal soft by OP
just googled it. soooo pretty
>>674703265
You going show or just tell?
>>674703320
>>674703300
solid combo to match those numbers
>>674703502
Dunners reporting bruh
On that drank man
>>674703468
Yeah i was thinking about getting Lets Be friends or Small + cute = <3 both by OPI to act as an undercoat
>>674703480
excuse shitty finger nails
>>674703795
whatcha drinkin man?
>>674703680
>>674703899
On the Smirnoff at the minute
>>674703899
I vomited in my mouth just then.
>>674704008
what are you? a bish?
Quiz time. No cheating with Google, faggots
>>674704142
sailing.
don't tell me what to do.
>>674704142
Speed wanking
>>674704142
where da dunedin nudes at?
any fags play csgo here?
>>674704008
just straight? I like that peach vodka you can get, shits dope.
>>674704108
>I vomited in my mouth just then.
ya big baby
>>674703899
legit really perdy. may have to get some
Otaki reporting
>>674704470
don't lie you fucking criminal scum.
its criminal scum like you that say things look pretty just to not offend someone and then they go out looking like a fool and everyone thinks they look like a noob because you weren't honest.
>>674703795
Hey mate! You sippin' on that drank, what's the occasion?
>>674704242
Fag
>>674703899
Looks like cum sprinkles. I like it.
>>674703917
>>674704108
Man you're rough
>>674704390
Nah just rtds, go down easy as
>>674704604
Saturday night mate hahah
>>674703899
looks like you have a yeast infection and have peen poking yourself.
>>674704603
google it, it does actually look quite cool
So is NZ really going to change their flag or not?
>>674704719
where the weed at in welly my bros, im fa fa fiending
Ayyyyyy what's up Far North!
>>674704936
ask the trannys on home street.
>>674704936
Try the beehive. Tons of off it cunts there
>>674704641
Hide the answer next time. Make it a challenge
>>674704726
Haha, fair cop! Anything going on in town or you just chillin' at home?
>>674704470
Buy it online, its $20 in store.
>>674704726
>Nah just rtds, go down easy as
with enough sugar anything is
>>674704762
that aint what a yeast infection looks like. if they looked like that women wouldnt care as much when they got them
>>674704726
>Nah just rtds, go down easy as
bitch.
>>674705429
>that aint what a yeast infection looks like
show me what yours looks like then.
>>674705301
Yeah hit town up, student vibe should be good
>>674705429
Not wrong!
ginga reporting in fgts
>>674704906
>>674705506
This is pretty yeasty
>>674705535
You've gone or you're going?
>>674705535
>Yeah hit town up, student vibe should be good
take me with you im bored AF
>>674705429
>that aint what a yeast infection looks like
>>674705869
>>674705535
Cuba Duba.
>>674705813
Going, too early at the minute
Drive alright last night?
>>674705869
We're catching a ride in probs around 11
>>674705969
>Cuba Duba.
whats that even mean.
>>674705999
>We're
>other people
scary
>>674706151
>>Cuba Duba.
tomorrow.
event thing at Cuba street and shit.
>>674706151
>meeting people from online
>not scary
>>674705999
Checked.
Cool, man. Have a good one!
Yeah, fuckin' oath, it was! Thanks again.
I'll return the favour next time it rains.
>>674705869
wait wait we all going to town now?
also welly fag
>>674706245
In all reality what is the likelihood that one of us is a rapist or a murderer instead of just slightly autistic? Safe as anything.
WELLY FAGS
HOW MANY ARE US?
AGE APPROX?
SEX? (please, jokes not jokes though.)
>>674706474
Say gender then
>>674706557
Don't fucking come at me with this gender bullshit.
sex:male/female.
there is nothing else.
>>674706474
me here 25
>>674706693
Intercourse
>>674706246
Cheers mayn!
Glad you enjoyed it, not everyday the opportunity pops up
Look forward to it man!
>>674706405
Yeah you're right, awkward at first though!
>>674707146
I was thinking, probably the only chance I'll ever get to steer one! Was amazing. Had time to consider it now as well. I'll just save it for later though, otherwise I'd be typing out a novel
anyone in dunners fucking around tonight
where did the all the hype go wellyfags?
Omg, Old School is on SM Greats. Love this movie.
"I need you more tonight, I fuckin' need you more than ever!"
>>674707776
>want to meet people from online.
>only want to meet females.
>>674707895
lol i am a female.
>>674707895
Kek
>>674707807
You're my boy blue!
>>674707531
Not many people have them!
I appreciate every good thing that's said about it to be fair
I miss Aucks :( Dunners is fucking trash
>>674708299
Don't come back. Auckland is just as much of a shit hole
>>674708299
you shut your whore mouth
>>674708058
nice try.
>>674708220
Well, to summarise, it's what all Skyline's should be like.
But nah, I'll save my thoughts for the next late-night yarn
>>674708553
I really like this gif
>>674705581
faggot
>>674708389
Come shut it for me fuckboy
>>674708599
Dubs
They're the pinnacle of Skylines i guess
Save it for when I'm sober haha
>>674708849
ill put one of my titties in if you promise not to bite
>>674708599
the skyline fanboying is quite cringe to be honest.
it's pretty much what ever 16-22 year old creams about.
>>674709017
show boob.
>>674709017
>claims to be female
>doesn't want titties bitten
>>674709017
What the fuck else am I going to do then...
>>674709214
idk man, suckle
First post in a nz thread in almost a year now
>No IDbro
>No Cody Harrison
>No "Hello, boys".gif
>No tinychat link spammer
>No black version of nz flag
>No hamburger poster asking for weed in Dunedin
>>674708928
Yeah, stands to reason.
Haha, will do!
>>674709053
I didn't think it was fanboying, really.
What I meant by that comment was that I've got one, and it's all good and well, but I had a steer of his and it's similar to mine, familiar, but it's much better than mine.
I'm not harping on about sugoi GT-R is god machine or anything, I thought it was will within reason.
>>674709107
No. This is the first thread in ages without a single nudesfag
>>674709017
>not liking nibbles on the nipples.
gtfo impostor.
>>674709303
>I didn't think it was fanboying, really.
>>674709298
You forgot >no korean girls every second post.
>>674709554
He said no IDbro
>>674709298
Which poster are you?
>>674709554
>no idbro
>>674709390
nibbles are ok, but I had an ex chomp that shit and no ty
>>674709723
I used to post images of cricket players
>>674709926
Hmm not sure I remember that.
[shitposts generically]
>>674709999
nice
>>674709999
chekin it
>>674697593
fuckin who was in waiheke today
>>674709528
>try to provide understanding
>meme responses
It's what I deserve for asking 4chan, I suppose. Carry on.
>>674709899
go on.
>>674709999
those quads.
Ex is drunk as and texting me. She might be after some D tonight.
>>674697593
woop woop!
>>674710460
Tell her to fuck off.
Don't fall for this wenches tactics.
>>674710466
Sup anus.
>>674710466
"charges have been laid against the department of conservation following another incident where a group of school kids who were on a school field trip ended up accidentally inside a mans anus."
>>674710527
Nah man I've been trying to get her back
>>674710751
kill her, burn the body.
>>674710751
And this silly drunken bitch where her mind is even more full of fuck than usual....
you are going to fall for this bait?
it's just going to be more bait for more drama when she sobers up.
either way you are fucked.
You dealing with a crazy bish.
>>674710993
Yup but that pussy is top tier bro
>>674710662
Funking top kek
>>674711334
Stiff dick has no conscious.
Have at it.
>>674710369
Not much too it, he thought he was being sexy, bit down really hard expecting me to like it, I did and he apologized and we joked about it a lot.
>>674711757
>I did
Everyone does, even if they don't know it yet
>>674711757
he bit down hard expecting you to like it..
you did.......
what are you even on about?
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
Someone post something interesting -.-
>>674712169
like new dunedin nudes
Why is you-know-who even you-know-what?
>>674712169
post your tits.
>>674712169
You start faggot. Wanna bitch about the thread while contributing nothing mf
>>674712271
>you-know-who
why are you people so afraid of saying idbro??
>>674712243
I already told you, dunners is trash T_T
>>674712007
>>674712097
*didnt
>>674712487
dunners is a sweet precious child
>>674712554
You've not been nibbled right
>>674712554
I wanted to make a pedophilia joke but couldn't think of anything other than "it sucks?"
>>674712554
much funny story
>>674698359
In aussie land for 5 years now, holy fuck anon do I miss speights. Also good on ya mate
>>674712852
Get much Marmite over there?
Vegemite is a hateful yeast discharge that you smear on burnt bread.
>>674712949
Moots meat reporting in
Alright faggots, I have an ounce of some pretty average cab. What can I do with it?
>>674713909
Looks pretty uniform, don'tcha know girls like mushroom heads?
>>674713994
sell me some bruv
>>674713994
Flush it and huff flyspray?
>>674714001
judging a flaccid penis.
>>674713994
Where are you?
>>674714145
North Korea
>>674713994
cab.
kill yourself.
>>674714108
This. Shes got a decent looking cock
>>674713994
shove it up your ass and get high
>>674714108
Not judging, just an observation.
>>674714286
Its a guy.
don't call it a she.
faggot.
>>674714323
same thing.
observing a penis not even in its final form.
>>674714379
It's final form... isn't it's final form slumped in a corner, covered in its own vomit?
>>674713994
dice it up and snort it, you'll get high as
>>674713994
COOOOOKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>674713994
Pls tell me how
>>674714583
Just ignore. He'll get bored.
>>674714614
You're such a noob
>>674714263
Nate.
>>674714583
i dont get this?
>>674714686
just because you said this. every thread
>>674714861
Because fans keep feeding him
sup lads
anyone down to kill me? or take the knife out after i plunge it in and hide it so it looks like murder? hmu if so
>>674715033
Why does it have to look like murder? Man up
>>674715033
Don't be a pussy, stab yourself and hide it before you bleed out
New Zealand is a country which has legalised prostitution. This is a bad thing. It leads to moral corruption which affects our children for generations to come. It also has other negative side affects on society which are too great too comprehend. For instance, in a terrible turn of events, just last night, I left my phone at a whore house.
>>674715217
Kek
>>674715156
there'll be a blood trail mate not the most fool-proof of plans
>>674715145
don't wanna hurt my parents that little bit more / just stopped seeing a girl and don't want her thinking she was responsible
Oi cunts.
My lady's knock off magic wand vibrator thing just broke. Pretty sure it's just a loose wire, but I don't want to zap either of us if I fix it badly. What should I do?
>>674715334
Use your dick instead
>>674715379
The obvious solution
Kawerau reporting in.
>>674715334
Just take the cover off and shove it back in here, she'll be right.
>>674715379
10/10 response
>>674715334
Take it into Bunnings and ask them.
>>674715411
The final solution
>>674715379
I lied, it's my vibrator because I'm a massive raging faggot. Nothing like a nut massage at 4200 RPM boys.
>>674715444
Trips commands it
>>674715334
I thought magic wands were a massage tool that bitches just used for vibrators.
>>674715444
>>674715555
Fuckin' checked
>>674715555
Basically. If you ram yourself in her from behind and chuck the wand on the front, you can get some pretty amazing shit happening.
moar
>>674715555
FUCKIN QUADS LADS!
>>674715645
and...?
>>674715830
You out here tonight, mang
Anyone else prefer pissing outside instead of in the toilet? So freeing.
>>674716293
No, because I'm not a fucking animal
>>674716470
We're all animals bro
>>674716293
I used to when I lived with my grandfather, left this patch of dead grass right near the front door.
>>674716470
its new zealand and 4chan dont act like you're above us
>>674716640
Fair call.
I fucking hate Maoris!
>>674716619
Oshie?
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
wsrxdtfgvhnj
bumping for bewbs
dunners nudes
>>674718135
that is what the fuck i was refreshing for
<3
>>674718135
what does nudes even fucking mean you dumb cunt.
>>674718209
Duneden nudes, you dumb fucking cunt... and I'm fucking Australian and worked that out.
Race car spam to hit bump lmit, what the fuck ever
>>674715775
That girl on the right, her name is Brittany yeah?
>>674718365
NUDES!
WHAT THE FUCK IS NUDE!
pic related, nudes.
>>674718714
>>674718759
300 like idbro
>>674718209
>>674718814
Our work is done. G'night, kiwis.
>>674718814
Except IDbro always used to get the 300th post unlike you, Mr 301
>>674719011
I'm OP, and I got it. Fuckin' waste of four hours of my life.
>>674719128
>I'm OP
>/nzg/
>300th post
On second thoughts are YOU IDbro? It all adds up.
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
http://tinychat com/nzcam
>>674719306
Nah, it's Dunners. Mighty coincidence though.
Truth be told, I didn't even know he called it /nzg/
>>674719470
Ah no worries bro. It was my mistake.
>>674719678
Nah, it's cool. We all want to believe
>>674698176
northpark reporting in
