Rate my sexting skills with the ladies /b/
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Rate my sexting skills with the ladies /b/
>I want you to be my first
Well you see, there's your problem.
>>674365181
ethan bradberry/10
> "I want you to be my first"
Who says that
>>674365324
Kek
>keep calm I'm pregnant
Jesus fucking christ....
>>674365376
LOL
>>674365181
Show the nudes of the chubs you're texting and we might give you an actual rating.
Hahahaha "I Want You To Be My First"
>>674365181
I want to see these panties that you want in your mouth.
>>674365181
More of a lame dirty talk. No sexting tbph
OP here. I'm quite the wordsmith.
All i see is you yapping. They are just giving you 1 word or emoji with some repetitive sayings as reply. Horrible.
Just because youre a bunch of basement dwellers
>>674366290
Some might even say you are a cunning linguist.
But not me.
OP here.
>>674366805
Post da pick nigga
nice pasta nigger i saw this a few nights ago, wasn't fooling anyone then and it's not here either
>>674366805
1. We all know the lady's name is Alyssa, so no need to hide it
2. Show us the damn pic faggot
>>674367170
Truth
>>674367170
>. We all know the lady's name is Alyssa, so no need to hide i
ha
You have a battery problem there roodypoo
This is flirting for me and her.
>>674368398
This is true love.
>>674368398
>Pipi Sucker
kek
>>674368398
wife material.
>>674366805
POST IT OP
>>674370260
ROLLING
>>674370260
,
ROLLING
>>674370260
....
ROLLING
>>674370260
.......
ROLLING
>>674370260
........
ROLLING
>>674370260
...........
ROLLING
>>674370477
WINRAR
>>674370477
.
WINRAR
>>674370477
WINRAR.
>>674365181
If you sext yourself its hot as fuck. Knowning there is a very high chance it will result in sex. Reading it from others is just down right cringeworthy.
>>674365181
I want you to be my first. 10/10 haven't laughed that hard in a solid month.
>>674365181
>>674370653
virgin OP lmao
>>674371082
Story?
>>674366447
That's because the guy he's talking to is jacking off.
>>674366805
>unironically using emojis
>cringe
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>674371368
Just a girl called Simone. Pretty bland story
Anyone else love seeing other people's sexts? Post screenshots to help a nigger out
>>674365181
>>674366290
>>674366805
>I want you to be my first
>"Babe?" "Yeah?" "I want to fuck your pussy with my tongue"
>emojis all the way
>hiding her picture
>hiding her name after exposing it
please don't reproduce with this bitch
>>674371613
Are these guys English lit majors or what?
>>674365181
except I saw this exact thread like two days ago. Nice try.
>>674371793
Bitches love a bit of romance
>>674371613
I wanna see you kiss a woman's chest and belly while she is straddling you and wrapping her legs around you
>mfw when snek neck
That's what's wrong with you, you never make this shit believable and you only say what you want to say, you don't react to your partner.
>I'm hugging you tight and kissing your neck
>my legs are strangling you from behind
>>674366208
Mmm sexy ear lobes, 9.5/10 would probs lick
>>674368398
Top banter
>>674371974
You're right, I should care more about what a girl who I'm posting sexts with on the internet has to say.
Rate. Apart from the love you shit, she was going to bed
>>674371930
"murmurs" of kisses though lol
>>674371974
also that
>>674365368
IMETHANBRADBERRY
>>674372214
Better ?
>>674372317
you wanna grab her heir?
>>674372317
Please ignore the spellings mistakes- here, hair, we were both drunk as fuck
>>674372364
Yep, reach into her cunt, rip open her womb and drag out her firstborn. She took it well, I feel
This is the most hilariously faggy thread I've seen for a while
>look at my skills
>"want you to be my first"
>>674365181
sexting's for kids go fuck her already
>>674372183
She was awake for an hour sucking on bbc
>>674372670
Weird, considering there are no niggers where we live.
>>674372739
They drive many miles just for them sweet vanilla sugarwalls. They fuck her in the mouth and then you kiss her.
>>674372986
Kek'd
This thread is pure cringe.
> talking : yes
> doing something : nope
>>674373225
ur mum
>>674371449
What The Fuck
>>674373225
>I live across the country from my gf because work
>we sext because we are horny and can't fuck
>>674366290
You want your fingers in your mouth?
>>674374471
kek
>>674365181
>I want you to be my first
And that's why you suck op. You already had you first dick anyway
>>674371613
I have some, she's doing most of the typing though. Pics included, hold on a moment, it's on my pc
>>674365181
When virgin teens "sext"
Shot is boring and corny, have fun though
>>674372364
And take him out of the will. DO IT
op is really talking to a man
>>674365376
>want you to be my first
>Who says that
Yeah, he should have made it more romantic. "I want you to come to my bedchamber and deflower me - take my maidenhead and make me feel like a real woman!"
>>674372183
0/10 you stand no chance
>>674365799
ROFL
>>674372367
Drunk or just stupid?
>>674376429
Getting the order all wrong
>>674376551
Does that really turn you on? Disgusting.
>>674376429
>Zolpidem
Oh, you mischievous white kids and your prescription drug abuse!
>>674376429
>>674376574
Stress banana
>do her doggy
>grab by hair hard as possible
>lean close to her ear
>"maria fuck me harder!"
>all hell breaks loose
>>674366290
>>674377008
Thanks for coming tonight Bill!
>>674376737
She's an MD so it's easy to get fam.
You guys want to see my sexts?
I'm asking because we're both into scat and farts and weird shit like that.
>>674377421
Show pic of girl first
>>674377164
fucking lol
>>674365181
>I want you to be my first
Well... That's one problem
>>674377083
An ex of mine was into her lil sis joining during sexts. Figuratively speaking.
>>674372739
You ever seen a dark figure in the corner of your eye but when you turn to look nobody's there? That's a nigger moving from shadow to shadow
>>674372416
Woah that's fucked up fam
>>674375707
Zolpidem is weak as fuck. She would have no problem waking up
>>674379130
She didn't. Even with wine too.
>>674379334
>>674379130
Didn't have a problem waking up, I mean. But she hardly remembered the following two hours. She bled. Was fucked up.
>>674374328
> she's cheating on you, long distance doesn't work
>>674380166
Fact.
using the word baby makes you disgusting.
>>674376651
what's disgusting?
>>674380166
>>674380226
>jokes on her, I'm already fucking someone else
>>674380707
But I thought you were saving yourself for marriage! What will your one true love say when she pegs you in the ass on your wedding night and you don't bleed? "I want you to be my first", fucking lol
>>674380707
You da man
>>674380916
I'm not the OP.
Rate her sexting skills with the boys /b/. Met this girl through tf2.
She's made me cum gallons so 10/10
>>674365324
/thread
>>674381134
'She's' either fat and/or autistic or a guy
>>674377008
Source?
>>674383206
My gf
ITT hardcore samefaggin and cringe worthy sexting
>>674383337
Fucking hot
read pic before reading post, thought it was a cringe thread not gonna lie
>>674383899
Save it and post it somewhere, sometime. Then I'll post more.
>>674365181
Right between pathetic and omega class.
>>674366290
Actually you're quite the fucking retard. Stringing sexual terms together the way you have makes you no lothario. It makes you a fucking pathetic try hard. I guarantee that girl and her friends are having a great laugh over your sexy prose. Faggot
>>674365181
>I want you to be my first
>>674385772
B-be gentle - I've never had a woman inside me before
>>674369804
Lol funny it sounds like me and my wife
>>674372217
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
IMETHANBRADBERRY
rate my sext from yesterday, she was talking about her getting a massage
>>674368398
Winner goes to green team!
>>674380916
Post of the day
>>674386092
Sext? Seems like a faggot convo with your sister
>>674386092
0/10 saving to post in cringe thread later
You fucked up beta fag
>>674386092
I am starting a cringe thread with this.
>>674386092
Nice have you had the real sex yet? Wherre she actually touches your peepee with her hand shit I'm hard now
>>674365181
Is that her?
>>674365181
Make a day event with her, preferably outdoors. Make sure you both are feeling comfortable and relaxed, whatever that feels like. Bring some fruit for your journey, at some point have lunch with her (pack some fruit that she enjoys along with yourself. Wash said fruit before its eaten. Wash the fruit again as you realise your hands were dirty when you originally washed it).
Put on some music as you both gouge, music you mutually enjoy.
Take out a joint you had pre rolled (vital part). Ask if she wants to partake, it's very likely she will.
At this point, if the moment is right. Tell her how you feel about her, keep it brief. Make sure you are a little high, just so you have a choice If exiting the thought process instead of being exiled with whatever you said to play on loop as you are high. "I enjoy spending time with you, your variant nature comforts me" or somebullshit
You write the story from there, anon. But what would I know, I'm just a faggot. I wish you all the best anon. If it doesn't work out, well, it isn't the right time in this life, and consider that it may never be the right time.
>>674386917
Tfw when you wrote that
>kill me
>>674386917
You forgot to hand her a bowl of eggs
>>674387190
*when i
>>674387190
It's ok. you make memes now. It's what you do
>>674386917
Also feed her grapes, she'll say stop perhaps even forcefully but that's just because she's not used to being pampered. Eventually she will yield and submit to her loving man and she will never leave you if you just feed her lots of grapes. Make sure you wash them first.
>>674387467
with great power comes great autism, i suppose
>>674386864
Captain Ahab confirmed.
>>674386917
*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material.. not skilled. memeing isn't all not not rainbows, kid. You're skilled skilled. .. that much I can tel But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks?
Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to.
Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...
>>674387704
With the amount of pesticides on grapes you would be a madman not to wash them
>>674366636
Too good,11/10
>>674387190
>tfw when
inbred
>>674365181
Your sexting skills are more cringeworthy than these fucking autists, I don't know who needs to kill themselves more, you or them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=JP&v=xN5FCtfRoJY&hl=ja
>>674387898
Thank you. I will try and benefit mankind, and not let the fame get to my head. I may have to destroy the industrial sized order of business cards that I purchased to show my friends and let my parents know that I made it
>>674387789
>>674387915
Exactly, you don't want to kill the poor girl
Unless that's your plan HAHA *winkface*
>>674365324
My sides
