I think I fucked up /b/ >Be me, 25 non-autist male >Live
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I think I fucked up /b/
>Be me, 25 non-autist male
>Live with qt-3.14 and things are pretty good
>Cue to yesterday
>got home from work, feeling a bit blue balled (GF on red days)
>Decide to pull up some r34 porn of monster girls
>Boner achieved
>Centaur girls be super fine
>Start seeing threads about horse pussy and all that shit
>Happen to live next to ranch, ranchers are gone for the week and I let their mare graze on my property.
>Iwonder.jpg
>See mare going behind old chicken coop behind office window, decide to give it a shot.
continue?
Bumping for interest
Yes. Continue.
Go
sure why not? but be quick I got to got beddy byes soon.
>>674295570
please continue
Boop
DONT STOP
Alright OP, we'll just go fuck ourselves
>>674295570
OP here
>Walk outside and pet the mare, really enjoy the feeling of her mane and such
>Yep full blown autist horse fucker soon to be achieved.
>End up going behind her as she grazes and see her flip her tail around
>Horse pussy right in my face
>The thing is huge, I've been told I got a sizable dingalingadingdong but this is ridiculous
>Being the retard I am I figure I'll just grab the stool from the shed and give her a go.
>Gran stool, set it up, give the ol' gal an apple and start pulling my pants down
>herewegoagain.png
>>674296044
Believing.
>>674296202
hold on to that feeling
>>674296195
Please tell me it's gonna give birth to your Centard babies.
Keep going op don't be a fag
>>674295570
non-autist male... yet you fap to cartoon centaur girls and want to fuck horse pussy??
yeahhhhhhhhhhh alright then m9
>>674295570
I like where this is going
And then....
>>674296379
KEK
Need more
>Take the tip of my dick and start putting it in
>feels ok but might be good
>Start slowly pushing myself in, barely notice the horse is now stamping her back hooves repeatedly.
>Within about a minute I'm full blown fucking a horse like some kind of Mississippi inbred fuckwit
>Feels good, hell feels really good. Not tight like my GF but good.
>About to blow my load when the horse backs the fuck up with me holding onto her rear for dear life.
>Just gotta let go and I'm home free.
>"Anon what the hell are you doing?"
>>674296682
Jesus fuck
Just waiting for the fucking dinosaur.
>>674296682
Let me guess, it bucks you off, and your own the floor, and then everybody dance the dinosaur?
>>674296682
nigger you what
>>674296682
Kek continue op
>>674296934
lel
>>674296682
>>674296934
You're on*
if there is no dinosaur or bel air ima be shattered
>>674296682
>says he's not autistic
>decides to fuck a horse
>>674296682
>>674296909
No dinosaur
>I look behind me and there's GF looking horrified as shit, she wasnt supposed to be off work for two hours, usually calls me to tell me she's heading back
>Realize I left my cell inside while I decided to fuck a goddamn horse
>Panic mode ensues as I hopp off the horse, kicking it as I jump down
>big fucking mistake
>Horse takes left leg back and kicks me in the kneecap
>blood fucking everywhere
>looks like a murder scene
>>674297167
kek
>>674297167
Kek
>>674296934
Are you fucking retarded? He obviously got caught by his gf. Go autism somewhere else.
>>674297167
kek
>>674297195
pics or it didn't happen
Keep it up OP
>>674295570
>>Live with qt-3.14 and things are pretty good>Decide to pull up some r34 porn of monster girls>Centaur girls be super fine
I found your problem. You think and act like a fucking child.
>>674297264
Kek op is Muslim
>OP
> then I go to the doctor find out I have HIV
> I have no idea that was possible
>>674297195
>GF is screaming, horse runs off, I'm laying on fucking dirt and mud with a busted knee and a half chub covered in horse pussy juice
>This is bad
>GF screams that she's going to call the ambulance I tell her to fucking calm down
>I manage to stand up and know it didnt break my leg, just took a shit ton of skin off of my knee and shin
>She goes from worried to pissed faster than a goddamned mexican that knows trump is gonna be president
>Screaming ensues, words being thrown around, a whole lot of shit
>"Is this some kind of revenge for last week?"
>Bitch say what?
>>674297654
cancer
>>674296379
>centard
>>674297735
U should have typed this before hand /b/ro, i cant stand waiting
She cheated on him. Calling it.
>>674297735
Ohfuck
>>674297735
and then???
>>674297735
This is going in all the wrong directions....
>>674297944
dubs o truth
>>674297944
probably
Well you said it HIV you should kill yourself now OP
>>674297735
Come onnnnnnn
>>674297944
With a horse. His wife is Catherine of Russia.
op's gf fucked a dog?
>>674297735
>Apparently she got piss drunk and let one of her dogs fuck her the week before.
>Didnt fucking remember because I drink like a fucking irish shit head
>She didnt say anything because I didnt say anything
>Whattodonow
>We got a horse fucker, a dog fucker, and I got a busted up leg
>End up going in the house and just not talking to each other rest of the day because we both are pissed and she's horrified that she told me and I didnt know
Don't let die.
>>674297735
keked at the trump part
OP is typing as fast he can, hold your horses!
>>674298173
haaaaa
>>674298072
allmywut.jpg
>>674298173
nice pun
>>674298173
Ayyy
>>674298072
wow what a fantastic story
I would have preferred dinosaurs
>>674298072
Should have said you took the day off and got drunk. All would have been forgiven, you fucked a horse and she fucked a dog.
>>674298072
this it?
ok ending/10
What are you fucking gay?
>>674298072
Use this to your advantage, anon. Make her do dog porn and post it here.
>>674298072
>you're both into bestiality
>she can't say shit, she fucked a dog
You've found a common kink, OP. Now have a four-way between the dog, the horse, and your GF.
>>674298054
I guessed right...
>>674298072
sooo what now?
>>674298054
a wizard
how long did you protect your virginity to get that much power?
>>674298072
kek worth my time
>>674295570
>Claims to be "non-autistic
>says "qt 3.14
Autist.
>>674298072
>Woke up this morning to her and the dog gone
>She does this sometimes, leaves for a few hours to a day, comes back crying, yada yada drama
>get a knock on my door, it's my neighbor
>"Hey anon heard some screaming and stuff at your yard yesterday everything alright?"
>tell him I'm fine, go back to watching TV. GF is gone, still kind of horny, decide if I cant fuck a horse maybe I can get it to suck/lick my dick
>I'm not very bright
someone post the legendary thread reaction pic real quick
>mfw my friend tells me about seeing this on reddit in 3 weeks time
>>674298335
>>674298332
most confused kek ever
>>674298366
checked
>>674298437
>What is chan culture?
>>674298251
Pony?
>>674298335
Topkek
>>674298522
checked
>>674298476
>C H O M P
>>674298072
I used to be a horse fucker like you, then i took a horse kick to my knee
>>674298476
im done
Wow OP Story sounds like such a night-mare...
>>674298476
>herewegoagain
>>674297247
It bucked him anyway, did it not? Horses buck, and I had legitimate reason to suspect dinosaur.
>>674298670
You fucking fag you can't end it like that
>>674298689
ayyyyyyy
>>674298628
HAHAHHAHAH! COMEDY GOLD! SOMEONE SCREEN CAP THIS!
>>674298689
pun
>>674297167
geg
>>674295570
>>674298772
Im not op i just meant im done with this post
lel
>>674298689
That's a real knee-kicker right there!
>unzips trousers
>>674298780
I got you, this is going onto a private imgur upload, then my Godtier Greentext folder.
>>674298476
>get horse back into yard, pet her, no wasting time I need to bust a nut
>horse licks dick, feelsgoodman
>horse is licking and it feels so damn good.
>bust a nut real fucking hard and end up falling back off of stool.
>grab closest thing to me, it's the horse
>horse bucks backwards and I fall on the ground, as it comes back down it hits my thigh with its fucking hoof
>Hurts worse than when it kicked me, so close to balls oh god
>crawl back to house, can barely breathe, barely walk.
>>674298072
awwwww he got cucked by Scruffy :3
>>674298072
You're clearly both meant for each other. At least you know how to find a compatible mate OP.
>>674298886
So close.
>>674298689
quality joke
>>674298476
oh lord
dis gon be gewd
>>674298959
Retarded OP is retarded.
>>674298689
kekmeister
>>674297195
gtfo knee cap lets see pic
about as bright as a horse too
>>674298335
Three animals at the same time are too many
>>674298959
you gotta give the horse a happy ending too, faggot
>>674298476
>not autistic
sure buddy.
>>674297167
this
>>674299198
thats insulting to horses everywhere...
>>674298959
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
this is getting to far fetched, peace out autismo role playing horse fucker
>>674299216
kek'd so hard
>>674296195
>dingalingadingdong
My fucking sides
>>674297264
gold
New fags, newfags everywhere.
>>674299216
Lmao
>>674298689
It's fucking horsifying
>>674296338
Streetlight
>GF comes back later that night, like I knew she would.
>Dogs not with her
>She looks pissed when she see's my thigh
>"Anon you're fucking sick. At least I was wasted when kibbles fucked me"
>don't even bother arguing
>more silence finally I confront her about woffy poofy and she gets pissed
>10/10 argument
>"I'm gonna tell the neighbor you fucked his horse"
>fuck oh hell no
>She storms off and drives away, havent heard from her or anything in hours
>what do /b/?
>>674298523
Chan culture is autism, then. Makes sense, this thread is about a tard fucking a horse. And all the other threads are people rating each others cocks. Fags and autists. That's 4chan. For once, I'm really glad I don't fit in. /b is trash. I'm done.
im just waiting for dinosaur at this point
>>674299448
>kibbles
not sure if real or 8/10 troll
>>674299448
Get your gun. And tell her to get off your property
>>674299426
Ah m8 it was a good try
>>674299448
i think we are going to need to see some pics of your gf, the dog, and most importantly the horse in question. that way we can help you
>>674299448
its finally over
>>674299448
time to go eat out the horse?
>>674299448
where's the dog?
>>674299448
Invite her to join you next time.
>>674299448
Horsefucker
>>674299448
She won't tell the neighbor that. Just imagine how that conversation will go. She will as she's going to the house and realize that she has no evidence and will sound retarded. Then she'll fuck the dog again.
kill yourself horse fucker
>>674299448
why don't you just get on the floor and walk Kibbles the dinosaur?
proof timestamp ffs
>>674299448
kill yourself
Time to go full Mr Hands?
>>674299448
>Seriously considering an heroing
>Freaking out cuz she texted "hope you like jail food"
>Waiting for cops now, don't know what else to do
>busted a nut though, which I guess I got going for me
>>674299877
Stream it if you do
Pics timestamp horses ass now
Great bread, you have made me kek
>>674299877
checked and you're a fucking idiot
>>674299449
See you tomorrow anon <3
Love this thread, but still, you both fucked animals, you both should be killed
>>674299877
Again, what evidence is there that you fucked a horse? She's texting this to you to scare you into doing what she wants. As long as you don't admit to the police that you fucked the horse then saying that you didn't do anything means you're untouchable. Stop worrying and plead innocence.
>>674299877
do it quick, do it fast
use a gun and go with a blast
>>674299448
"I'm gonna tell your friends, family, ex lovers, bosses, coworkers and the press know you fucked a dog if you say one fucking word, bitch."
You're welcome, OP, you autistic horse-fucker.
Someone screencap this shit
>>674299877
Make a horse costume and become a super villain. The infamous Horse Fucker, the police's newest and greatest adversary.
>>674300122
9gag? GET THE FUCK OUT!
>>674300139
Please.
>>674300174
kek
>>674300139
Already in it niga I'll merge screencaps once I'm done at class
>>674300174
Kek
>>674300215
>he will tell you he has saved it from here, just wait for it
>inb4 greentext is not stealthy
>>674300122
That would be good evidence against him that he fucked a horse.
>>674300174
>>674298072
>>674300215
Hey fuckass, nobody cares. I got this pic off some other shitskins on b, not 9fag.
>>674300174
>>674300359
put me in it
isn't this bread for /mlp/ ?
bet there you'll get better advice since they have more experience with that kind of problem
>>674299448
Play it off as she was mad, you didnt actually fuck the horse.
>OP here
Thanks for listening /b/ before I go or get arrested or killed I'll tell you all straight
Horsepussy aint that great its alright but the tongue is where it's at. I've had cows lick my dick but horses are better
Well If I go to jail at least I'll be out in a few months, horse fucking aint a huge crime anyway
>>674298476
here we go
>>674297167
Zozzle
>>674300482
so true
>>674300433
oh dear.....
>>674300387
thanks anon
>the last 5 captchas have all been fucking steak... fml
>>674299877
>tells the cops you fucked a horse
>say she's lying because you found out she fucked a dog
>>674299877
where are you from OP? surprisingly this sort of thing isn't illegal in a lot of places
Show me leg with timestump.
> Im a doctor
>>674300482
At least this guy had the balls to actually fuck a horse instead of fantasizing about it like those ponyfags.
Sir, decide what the fuck your doing with your life and then tell that bitch. Maybe y'all just fuck animals together and qui t fighting?
>>674300663
10/10 filename
>>674300663
The dog is gone while the horse is still there.
>>674300515
you should live stream faggot
>>674300700
>OP here
>I'm a canada fag. Not a big deal up here everyones too worried american retards are going to migrate here when trump wins
>>674300775
Get rid of the horse
>>674300700
It was his neighbor's horse, so it is illegal for trespassing if nothing else. All OP has to do to get away with it is just not incriminate himself either way...
>>674300700
animal cruelty is illegal in pretty much every non shit country
>>674299448
Kill her and stuff her in the horse vag.
>>674300515
Is it even a crime anywhere?
>>674295570
fuck the horse again
kill the horse leave no evidence
>>674300515
bye
>>674298042
underrated post
>>674299877
your only chance is to argue that you were just trying to ride it and deny everything else hard. Deny hard.
>>674300914
But bestiality is legal in 43 states. So he has a 43/50 chance he's good.
>>674300862
Most of us dont fuck horses so it might be an improvement for you horsefucking faggots
>>674300754
>implying this is something good
>>674300914
Some people are paid in zoos to make animals have sex and OP gave it for free. He should be fucking honored for that...
>>674300914
yeah, OP was pretty cruel not letting that horse get off
>>674299877
don't text her anything that can be used against you
>>674300862
gotcha, not sure about Canada's laws
you should still live stream while you await arrest by the good ole Canadian police
>>674300913
ditto
>>674300775
>Officer she fucked a dog, i was making a joke to get back at her
>I don't see any dog
>Welp, i got all this dog related equipment and a girlfriend who took the dog for a "walk" this morning.
>>674301186
yeah with their kind,not some horny retard
>>674301420
Kek
>>674296402
JRHNBR
OP the owner probably fucks the horse so don't even worry bout it. He'll probably be a bro and help you out. Call you and be like "yo you want me to kill her?" or some shit like that. The owner knew you'd fuck it they aren't dumb.
>>674300862
>Call police
>File a report for animal abuse since you don't know what happened to your dog when your girlfriend went off screaming while dragging it with her.
>>674295570
>>674296195
>>674296682
>>674297195
>>674297735
>>674298072
>>674298476
>>674298959
>>674299448
>>674298072
Sounds like you're the perfect couple. she got curious about a dog. You about a horse. Why not amateur zoo movies? Postj here. we all get to cum over it. Fun times
>>674300862
>>674300904
confirmed. all best horse fucks in my country always kill the horse
>>674295570
>>674295570
Hey OP, you're fine. Just don't admit to anything st all. Honestly you'll be fine as long as you deny.
1. Its not her property or mare.
2. It's her word against yours.
She can tell the cops and the neighbour and just say you guys have been going through a rough patch and she's just freaking out.
Also depending on your location it might even be legal save for the trespassing.
You'll be fine if you deny. Hell if you worked it out you guys could have a great relationship with your secrets.
Only way you can really be charged is if you took pictures, admitted it, or got caught by the owner and they pressed charges.
Trust me, I know these laws..
>>674299448
Move to Canada. Cut all connections from that city. Never speak of it again
>>674302155
He already lives in Canada.
>>674302155
hes already in canada you dolt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-glHAzXi_M
>>674302153
This, she has 0 proof. That being said, you shouldn't immediately go posting the criminal shit you do on the internet.
>>674302155
>>674302272
lol nigger what?
>>674302153
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3_lVSrPB6w
>OP here for probably last post
>GF told me she sent her dog to the pound a city over, says she's moving out and taking all her shit.
>I took your advice and told her its my word against hers she says she took a picture with her phone before saying anything
>fuck fuck fuck
>No proof she took kibbles dick either
>even if she didnt tell the sherrif she could easily blackmail me for my money
op is a fag for not sharing pics
>>674300488
this guy has the right idea
>>674299448
So it's yet again another story of a femanon being hypocritical about sexual behaviour, smh
op you have to get your gf to butt-chug vodka. Use maximum force without leaving marks. Then wash vodka bottle and throw out
>>674302153
This. Just imagine the discussion "he fucked a horse!" nobody will believer her.
If you counter "she fucked a dog!" you sound equally silly. Let her make a fool of herself if she decides to. Let her feel though you are not as ashamed as her and wont hesitate to "tell everyone" so she'll comply to you instead of the other way around.
She is more likely ashamed as angry. And afraid she will be known as the dogfucker. Which is a more credible story - depending on her reaction (blushing, crying, anger, desperately trying to deny it, obvious lieing) people might actually believe that.
You just fucked a horse and got 100% control over your gf. But seeing you both are into fucking animals you might just let her off the hook and enjoy your curiosity together and be closer.
>>674302673
Fuck that bitch anon, go get kibbles back!
>#freekibbles
>>674302673
Kibbles and horse clits
>>674295570
nice try
#freekibbles
Timestamp with leg/knee. Im calling bullshit on this
>>674303000
check'd and kek'd
>>674297735
>horse pussy juice
>>674303000
Trips checked!
>>674302673
The sheriff would have a bit of trouble catching the infamous Horse Fucker.
>>674302673
chances are the cops won't even give a shit either. You really think cops are fucking worried bout a guy fucking a horse when they could be catching a real criminal? Just ignore it and you'll be fine op.
>>674295570
Yes, I'll take shit that never happened for 500
>>674302673
And now you're lying. God man come up with something better. She's emotional and confused form seeing you fuck a horse, she didn't have the presence of mind to pull out her phone and take a picture of you too, not in the context that you portrayed the situation. Oh well, it was a fun thread while it lasted.
OP in the future
>>674303362
This tbh fam
>>674302673
Good bullshit, but come on, that's an obvious tactic to get you to confess.
>>674299877
Well if you live in Florida, you should be fine.
>>674296682
i drew this situation the best i could
>>674303580
Like in game of thrones with that nekkid lady in the street
>rape and murder on news
>deaths of celebritys
>hackers
>what is going on with hillary and trump
Yea I don't think we will be seeing
>guy fucks horse and is put into prison
on the news.
>>674303743
LOL!
>>674303152
>t-t-t-T-A-S-T-Y!!!!!
it's m-mmm better!
>>674298476
>I'm not autistic I swear
>>674303352
>You really think cops are fucking worried bout a guy fucking a horse when they could be catching a real criminal
>when they could be catching a real criminal
>real criminal
You do realize country cops are the most stuck up shits one could imagine, right?
When I was in highschool they had two days each month where they arrived at our school at 9am to look through the pupils bicycles and marking each one with a broken/missing light, not working breaks etc. When class was over they waited for them to collect 10€ from them or in case they couldn't pay take their personal info to collect it from their parents later.
I have so fucking many disgusting police stories that I can hardly think of the police as being there to catch actual criminals. It's really just utilizing just that tiny amount of power you got handed.
>>674303743
top kek
>>674304121
Were the looking for people fucking horses?
I don't think so.
Also that was back then, nowadays they don't even bother with that shit. They're more worried bout muslims bombing malls, or when the next nigger is gonna try to rob a convenience store.
>>674304121
OP lives in canada
>inb4 404
its something
horse pussy
>>674303743
You left out the beautiful lush mane you savage.
>>674304494
its really not. delete that retarded shit.
>>674303362
>>674304494
could be better
>notbad
>>674303743
forgot the stool
uhh... beastiality freak here... all horses have to be sedated for sexual acts or else they'll attack the human. there might be extremely rare exceptions with them being in heat but ive never heard of it happening after a decade of it being my number 1 fetish. and ive spent countless years reading beastforum and ive known 3 girls into it - one of them actually lost their virginity to their dog
>trump is gonna be president
get politics off this place. its tiring and a mental illness to be a proud corporate slave. also, fuck them all, but hillary is murdering him. he has no chance
/thread
>Mfw OP tried to fool us when he said he's non-autist
>Mfw we were okay with an /mlp/ horsefucker
>Mfw I haven't necked myself after reading this post
>>674304494
Pretty good. Add
>>674298332
>>674303743
>>674298335
>>674304790
wtf you sedate and then fuck them?
has to look funny when the horse lies flat on the ground
>>674304371
>Were the looking for people fucking horses
You win this time, punk.
OP's grill killed the dog and threw it into a ditch to hide all evidence. Now she's gonna come by and take all the dog related accessories and there will be no proof.
>>674298476
> and the dog is gone
OP I don't think she stopped fucking the dog any time recently
Did anyone get a good screenshot of them posts?
Good thread, OP. I think I'll go to sleep and call it a day. I hate my life I wanna kill myself.
>>674304525
>>674295570
ALL HORSES HAVE TO BE DRUGGED FOR SEX, FUCK OFF
>>674302673
yea this is a little too far but i wouldnt put it past a female. fucks a dog, makes excuses, and leaves you when you do something similar. manipulative piece of shit. you sound like a bitch for putting up with it
>>674305429
Yeah. Got 'em all.
>>674295570
I like the part where you said you weren't autistic.
>>674303743
kekkest of keks
>>674305491
Beautiful.
You really captured emotion in the horse's expression.
>>674295570
The plot twist is the first line is a lie.
Spoiler alert.
>ops whole thread was prime cut example of pure autism
>>674305649
>>674305613
>>674305562
>>674305519
faggosaurus rex faggington faggot from faggot-town fag faggy faglord
>>674295570
An hero, OP. Do it
