Feels
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels
>>674186826
Currently dying inside right now
>>674187295
>>674187848
for anyone: you really can't sit around waiting for "her" or "someone" to come into your life... you really gotta get off your ass and be proactive. The alternative is living in your head.
>>674188641
Got it! They won't come to you. You have to go out and get them. Take them to the warehouse. Make them love you.
>>674189488
thats the spirit
My life
This is the gayest thread ever.
>The love of my life was raped by my "best friend".
>He convinced her I am a horrible monster.
>She was the only one who still loved me after each schizophrenic episode.
>I can't get her out of my mind.
I want to kill him. I want to find her and just hold her until I'm better.
I want to commit suicide.
I just want to feel happy again.
>>674186635
>tfw 21, no student debt, self-employed, living independently, working a few hours a day, making more than most google employees, got good friends, doing what you love erryday, halfway to retirement, smart as fuck, and overall have everything to look forward to in life.
>tfw that's me and not you
Not that it's all sun and roses, my sex life has been rather absent lately since I hole up in my room programming and playing video games all day.
Such is life
>>674186826
Feels so good to have moved past that phase in my life
>tfw gf
>>674188340
You'll make it bro
Alright /b/, this happened last night for me.
>Have a fun day of getting high, and drinking.
>Wasn't fucked up, but was loose.
>We all went back to a friend's house.
>Played truth or dare for a couple hours.
>Got dared to confess my attraction to a femanon.
>It turns out she knew way beforehand.
>My friend told her friend that I liked her.
>And her friend told her.
>Can't trust people to have secrets in this shitty town.
There's more but it's all fuzzy.
This isn't the first time one of my friends has done this to me.
Top that all of with a meth doing mom who's tearing the family apart and you get a shitty existence.
>>674190302
what do you do anon?
>>674186635
Tfw ex moves out this week end ...
Feels good man
>>674190302
Time for pussy when you can fuck em on a pile of cash 10 ft high.
Mah Negev
This one goes out to all the newfriends joining us tonight
>>674186635
you cry you lose
>>674191399
What are you? 14? That isn't that big of a deal dude
>>674190292
Help
>>674193854
You're honestly not wrong. Shit could be worse for me, eh?
>>674194212
Hey dude do you want to talk about it? My ex gf was raped as well, I might be able to help you get past this. Give me your kik man and we'll talk
>>674193598
Shit nigga......
>>674194212
Help is all I've ever wanted..
>>674187711
>>674192921
Relating to these all too well right now.
are you ready to feel???
>>674194400
You're damn right. I can't get an hour of the day that isn't 100× worse than that. Maybe you've been sheltered your whole life. People betray you. This was basically nothing. Get over it
>>674194476
I don't use kik..
I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I know I shouldn't kill him. But I worry if I will always know that or not.
>>674194676
Do you have any other means to talk! I don't know how much I can help but I want to help you so badly. Let me help you, or at least let you let off some steam
>>674191399
If your Mom was doing Math, it would be way fucking worse. Math, not even once dude.
feels pic dump ?
>>674186635
who is that dumbass that constantly in almost every thread spells
>color (correct)
as
> colour(retarded)
fucking idiot
Here's some real feels for you edgy 9gag faggots
>>674195212
Sigh...
>>674195320
>>674195320
It bothers me that the girl is always the one suffering in animations like this when in reality it's always the guy. Girls get over it faster than they change clothes
>>674194879
I honestly just like company. I haven't had physical compassion in a month, from anyone at all. So any compassion or empathy in any form is appreciated. I want to talk, but don't know where to start.
>>674187206
This one always gets me. Even as a kid I knew that's how I would grow up.
>>674195464
Let's start with the episode you mentioned? Are you okay? What happened? What triggered it?
>>674195414
>>674195464
Seems like we walk the same road, Anon.
>>674195104
Thought this was feels, not a ylyl thread, fuckin lost
>>674195438
for me man its the way she just collapse it a ball
>>674195620
both of u niggas need to hang out and friend up
>>674195120
Just jealous were better than you faggt
I got laid last night.
You'd think this would be a nice feeling.
It's not.
I'd rather be in a relationship with someone.
>>674195438
Thats just a false statement
>>674195212
This one makes me feel things
>>674195917
Says the femanon who demands to be pitied
>>674195993
Fuck you, dude. I'm not even the one you've been replying to but YOU need to stop throwing a pity party because the feemales don't like you.
>>674195976
Good.
I have a girlfriend who loves me with all of my heart and who I would give anything for.
I have a family who is (relatively) happy and functional, and of which no one is batshit insane.
I have a mother who has taken care of me since day one since my dad had work every day.
I have a father who has worked his ass off to be where he is today and to make enough money to allow us to live comfortably.
I have brothers who love me to death and though I don't see them, I always enjoy their presence.
I have friends from my old town who I keep in touch with regularly and even see.
I have friends that I always enjoy my time with, be it just hanging out or anything.
I have my life handed to me on a silver platter.
I have everything so easy, I can ask for whatever I really want. I can buy whatever I want.
I have a nice house, a nice car, nice computer, nice phone, nice life, nice family, nice girlfriend.
I have the beginnings of a good degree.
So why, why the fuck am I not happy?
Why can't I get out of bed in the morning to go to class? To convince myself that I need to try?
Why can't I tell myself that I should take advantage of my life and work hard?
Why can't I be happy?
Why?
>>674186635
Too all you sad fucks out there here is how you break the cycle
Start lifting. Research human behaviour/communication and apply it to your life. The first four months will be FUCKING hard but trust me. That happy life youve seen the people around you enjoy for so long can be yours. Coming from a guy who almost pulled the trigger. From shut-in to having friends/gf. It can be done guise.
>>674194621
jesus, that hurt so bad to read...
>>674195438
>>674195917
>>674196139
May be false as women hurt, but it IS fucking way easier for a woman to get into a relationship or to fuck somebody
finding somebody quality and to have GOOD relationship is something different
>long dist gf had some fag who liked her for ages give her a ring to be his GF, so deparate, she turned him down obviously
>>674196139
Have had several girlfriends whom I've been intimate with. A lot of my friends are female.
This isn't some neckbeard bait begging to be noticed, screaming for pity and calling every girl that doesn't bang me for holding the door open a whore. I've seen this up close and personal. I've been there, and I've seen both sides, and girls take a day or two of water works and they're fine but it affects guys for much longer. So fuck off
>>674195524
Well, over a year ago I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. The episodes had been going on long before the diagnosis, but never really too bad. After the diagnosis, the episodes became more noticeable, though they rarely happened. (1 or 2 every couple of months.) Then I met the love of my life. Ironically the episodes became worse. It would completely debilitate me whenever I would go into an episode. Usually it went like this; I would feel odd, and then black out in my mind. I would still be conscious, but I couldn't respond. I had no control over my memory, I had to be told what happened, every time I came back to reality. Until I started to remember bits and pieces.. and the voices always screamed the loudest during those times. But any time I would have an episode, she was there, holding me. Trying to coax me back to reality. (Even if she got scared shitless every time.) I was always scared for her. For some reason, I almost never got violent during an episode when she was around. But it scared me nonetheless. She tried to protect me. I hurt her once. I tensed up during the episode, and squeezed her arms as hard as I could. I haven't forgiven myself since. I tore myself apart that night for hurting her.
>>674195620
It would appear so my friend.
>>674190292
Kill him.
>>674192917
I would never do that to a child.
I can't even.
I'll never have a child though, so moot point.
I've never done a greentext before so please bare with me
>Grow up in Costa Mesa, Southern California
>I wasn't the prettiest little shit around but I don't think I was too bad other than my crooked teeth and bug ears
>Live close enough to Newport Beach, only 30 minute walk
>Live in a small house, single parent and 2 siblings
>We don't have much
>siblings have problems controlling their emotions so mom puts them on mood-altering medication from early on
>Mom spends a lot of time at school, not looking for work
>Either home or at school
>Grandmother pays for our food and clothes
>Child support from dad
>Mom spends it on her schooling
Continue?
>>674196488
I can't. Not when I'm conscious.
>>674196191
because it's pointless
>>674196685
Fuck it, here I go anyway.
>Be me
>2nd grade
>Have a few friends. Not many, but I didn't care.
>Eventually distance apart and meet new people.
>Met new friend. Let's call him Kei.
>Kei likes video games and cartoons
>I like video games and cartoons
>we become good friends
>the type to sit around the playground and have pokemon battles and stuff
>Everything is great
>Feel like I made a lifelong friend
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>enter 3rd grade
>we have more friends now
>our own little circle
>Introducing Jack and Aidan
>Life is normal for us
>We'd all play ninjas and talk about out favorite books and movies and TV shows
>Go to school, hang out with friends, come home, sleep (we didn't have a lot of food so I didn't eat much)
>>674187171
ive said something like this before. the only time im happy is when im masturbating or sleeping
>>674194621
The paw thing got me. Almost as if it's a fist bump for see you tomorrow... but tomorrow won't be a good day.
>>674196429
That's really something man. Are you seeking treatment? It's not you that hurt her, it's you that isn't hurting her. Your conscience has been trying so hard and the result is that you're not violent around her during an episode. It's not your fault, and it's obvious she's willing to take that risk for you. You shouldn't be afraid to just go for her. Tell her the truth, because if she can put herself in harm's way like that, she definitely has feelings for you!
>>674195438
you are a fuckin moron.
You've clearly been hurt by woman but don't let that make you dehumanize them.
Everyone hurts. Everyone feels pain. And just because you think having a vagina makes their life easy doesn't mean you understand their experience.
Get some empathy for them as a fellow person, and stop focusing on whats between their legs.
Then someone might actually like you.
>>674196815
>One day, I go to meet up with my friends on the playground
>They don't want anything to do with me
>what is going on
>Ignore it, try to play with them again
>again, they ditch me
>think that this is all a joke
>whatever.webm
>it wasn't a big issue to me at the time. I thought my friendship was unbreakable
>The next day was the same
>it was completely out of the blue and caught me by surprise
>wondered what I did wrong to upset them
>every time I went to confront them they would run away.
>started spending time alone at school thinking about how I could solve this
>Then came the lonely days.
>>674196191
genetics determine 50+% of your happiness
>>674195524
Also, I never knew what triggered them. Especially when I was with her. They came and went as they pleased. Almost as if to remind me of their presence. I know it will eventually lead me to take my own life. But I'd sure like to spend my last few years with her..
>>674196815
go on, anon.
>Went out to a concert with a girl i was in love for years and years but as "friends"
>10/10 girl not joking
>Finally gonna make my move heck yeah
>Both drunk
>Saw her kissing with some random dude(happened to be some random shit a joke)
>My hopes and dreems crushed.Dead inside.
>Went out to calm down drink a beer and she followed me
>Told her i wasnt feeling good "heart problems" so i had to dip out
>She sit next to me looks me right into eyes
>We look each others eyes fixed she smiles
>Ask me if she can lye down on me as we were sitting so i was supposed to lye down on ground you get the point
>Uhh um its dirty i dont want to fuck up my shirt and pants brb i am gonna go pee
>While i was pissing it finally came to my mind what the fuck i did
>It was no longer just a simple peeing it was my dick crying because his owner is retard
>Ended up drinking and doing drugs for years and years and i still do it today
>Complete mental mess because of that moment my dreams crushed by some random dude and then crushed by my own autism
>She is happily married now and i am still in love with her after all these years to a point that i reject all other womens.
>I cry till i fell a sleep every night or pass out from alcohol.
>>674196894
>Ditching went on for weeks.
>Didn't tell anyone about it
>At lunch instead of playing with friends I'd just walk around and maybe throw some rocks at a wall or something
>I was kind of upset but it could be worse.
>Decide that I could just make new friends
>in class
>people began giving me strange looks
>make attempts to approach people and make friends
>they would always back away and get mad that I was around them
>Tiny little child brain didn't understand what was going on
>People started namecalling
>just a few months before, I was just like everyone else, maybe just a little bit nerdy
>now I couldn't step into school without hearing things about how weird I was and how bucked my teeth were
>girls started telling me I was ugly and a nerd
>feelsbadman
>this continues for months
>End of 3rd grade
>Stopped talking to people
>spent my time on the playground alone
>get strangled by my older brother whenever I got home (the medicine made him more aggressive)
>have a sister
>also on medicine
>hates my guts (both of my siblings had started becoming mentally unstable at this point. Mom wasn't around to parent us much)
>I started eating less
>Skinny little kid
At this point I had no friends, began losing weight (I was skinny as a rail already, but this made it worse), I had stopped talking to people because I was ashamed of my mouth, and I was alone. Dad wasn't around much.
>>674192917
Did she.... Did she fuck the bunny?
>>674190292
You should rationally come to an understanding
(Kill him)
Then go to your ex and tell her how you feel
(Kidnap her)
>>674197009
>4th grade
>Back at school
>Things continue like usual but gradually worsen
>When kids were assigned to sit next to me they would move their desks away or ask to be seated somewhere else
>Kei, Jack, and Aidan made more friends and their circle grew
>I was alone
>After school I would go to the Boy's and Girls club (mom wasn't home after school to watch us)
>Nobody wanted to be around me
>Close enough in proximity to Kei and friends that I finally confronted them
>Told me I was weird and that I wasn't worth anything
>Made fun of the fact that I had no friends
>I told them I didn't do anything to warrant this kind of treatment and asked them why they did it
>no helpful response
>started trying to get away from me
>I didn't follow them
>The following months
>Be alone at school
>Be beat up by brother at home
>Rarely see dad
>Barely eating
>Mom raises medicine dosage for brother and sister
>In direct response they get more and more volatile
>This is only the beginning
>>674197044
Father had some fun playtime with the girl.
>>674196868
I'm not saying that women don't feel pain at all, and I'm not dehumanizing. My simplification of the process probably made it sound that way, but trust me, I know what it's really like. Yes they're in pain, and it's absolutely deep, but for some reason, the pain just never lasts very long, no matter how strong their connection was. It may take a week or a month but it always seems like it's over fat too soon. I don't hate women, I just don't understand how they can forget so easily. Even the compassionate ones
>>674197141
>Enter 5th grade
>Still alone, like usual
>At this point I begin feeling tired and was no longer motivated to work
>lay around on the field during recess often and think up scenarios about how I would be if my friends didn't treat me the way they did
>afraid to talk to people
>afraid to open my mouth
>one day like any other I was laying around on the playground minding my own business
>for the first time in years, my old friends approach me, but this time there are more of them
>get up
>ask them what is going on
>they surround me and start throwing punches
>Start pushing me around
>tell them to please stop, but they wouldn't
>Kei and Jack laugh about it as Aidan's turn was up to take a hit
>clock him in the jaw and knock him down
>get sent to the principal's office
>everyone gets in trouble
>I felt absolutely terrible
Life went on like this for another year or so.
>>674187171
ow
that hit home tonight
>>674197235
>Enter 7th grade
>No friends
>Stopped taking care of myself
>Socially isolated
>Thin and weak (not motivated to work or work out)
>Socially awkward (forgot how to talk to people and make friends)
Put all it all together and what do you get?
>Discover internet
>Turn to chinese cartoons and autistic reddit-tier living and jokes
>Wore meme shirts
>I didn't care. I fit in on the internet, right?
>Never learned how to talk to girls
>Spent my time alone at home drawing and thinking about why people didn't like me
>came to the conclusion that it was because people were shallow and only saw what you let them see
>It hurt but I knew it was true
>>674197310
>8th grade
>I knew what I had to do.
>Mom spent too much of money for us on her school
>Didn't own any of my own clothes at this point, just hand-me-downs that were too big or too small
>for some reason, only striped t shirts
>Decided it was time to look nice. People like nice looking people
>get my hands on some dress shirts and slacks
>learn how to tie a tie
>avoid fedoras at all costs (I was pretty autistic but I knew better)
>Start combing hair and showering more
>looked presentable
>People began to notice
>People started talking to me
>Became well known around school for being nicely dressed
>I was right all along
>But it was hurt so much
>Get best dressed in yearbook
>Kei and friends have long since stopped wasting their time on me
>occasionally hear mean things about me but not as often
>I felt like I had made progress
>>674197189
Ahhh. Hot
>>674196856
It always makes me cry like a child when I see or hear those words; "it's not you" or "it's not the real you doing it" I feel like a monster when I'm told that. No, I am not seeking treatment. I figure, fate, God or whatever gave me this for a reason, I don't tamper with it because it is the only thing that's a constant in my life anymore. At least the voices love me. She left, 4 months ago. Everything spiraled out of control for me. She's into drugs again, and i can't fucking find her. She's going to die if I can't save her. And my so called best friend caused all of this.. The voices say horrible things about him. But I try not to listen.
/b may i please have a hug?
that one with the dogs is a killer.
>>674197401
>Freshman year
>People talking to me again motivated me to do more
>Wanted to get in shape
>Joined the HS football team
>I was absolutely trash at it but I fell in love with it anyway
>Start working out with team every day
>gain 10 pounds (130 pounds at this point, still skinny)
>become friends with the whole team
>they teach me how to be social again
>build a character
>I befriend more teammates and coaches, my influence spreading like a cancer
>Have friends
>Have back muscles
>Being on a team and being friends with everyone began making me popular at school
But why stop there?
>Started getting into classic literature
>Not in the autistic way, i just wanted to be able to think like a human being and not an autist
>Make more friends
>Start going to the beach more often
>Discover that I was really into girls at this point
I had missed out on so much
>could never talk to them
>still ashamed of myself
>not just my teeth, but my whole face and my skinny build
>I began wondering if people actually liked me
>All of those internalized feels start to show up
>Have a breakdown after a game for no reason
>Eyes tear up in class for no reason
>Start expressing myself in my art (I drew nonstop since I could remember)
>Angry and sad all of the time
>Haven't smiled since 3rd grade
>I looked nice on the outside, had lots of friends, but I still felt like I was missing something.
>I felt like I had always been on the outside looking in
>Stop putting effort in at school
>Start losing interest in things I used to like
>Sleep a lot
>Don't eat enough
>Thought about my mortality more and more often
>Think about what it would be like to live with my dad for the first time
Again, I barely saw my dad except for on vacations sometimes
>Started listening to music constantly
>Freshman year ends
>My brother has developed asperger's because of the medicine
>Sister has developed asperger's too but it is more serious (she was more violent)
>>674196907
I can't really stop you from that. I had a pretty similar thing happen to me a couple of years back and along with clinical depression, I started to show schizophrenic behavior and I was basically developing it. It disappeared after a few months but I have an idea of how horrifying it is. Just try to hold back? I know it's just plain painful but there's so much amazing in the world, especially with having a special someone by your side. You can't just waste that. At least not yet
>>674197543
>Took some time to think about the conditions I was living in
>Even though mom didn't parent us much I still loved her because she was my mom
>Brother dropped out and lived with grandma
>Convince her to let me move to my dad's house
>Pack up my things
>Say goodbye to people I knew I wouldn't see again
>Contemplated suicide the entire drive to Phoenix
>Sophomore year
>picked up clean habits again
>started working again
>joined cross country team
>got in trouble for having C's (which surprised me since I almost failed freshman year)
>grounded half the year
>felt completely soulless and drained
>Verbally abusive stepsiblings
>manipulative stepmom
>weak-willed dad
>Tell him "if you don't start standing up for your son then I will do what I have always done and look out for myself."
>Things don't change
>hard time making friends at new school
>completely alien to everyone
>everyone seemed more hostile out here
>Began degrading mentally
>Lost focus in the middle of sentences
>Stopped looking people in the eye
>Felt sad or angry all of the time
>Contemplated suicide constantly
>Made plans to kill myself
>Convinced nobody actually liked me at all, it was all a lie
>I deserved everything bad that had ever happened to me
>Went home one day
>Straight into the garage
>Grab hold of a long power cable
>tie it tight around my neck and around the handles of the fridge in the garage
>start tightening it more
>take a moment to think about my entire life to that point
>stepmother walks in
>>674196931
I'm sorry, but that's pretty goddamn pathetic, meeting someone else have that much power over your own life. Sure that's not just an excuse to be a no life degenerate?
>>674196139
Ayy get a load of this slag. Men love unconditionally. Woman love is dependant on criteria that needs to be upheld. Always on the lookout for something better
>>674197067
Heh. It isn't that easy.
I don't have it in my heart to rationally kill someone.
But there are always those voices. They could very well dictate my life at any point. I don't want to kill anyone. Killing myself is something I do every day, no need to kill others.
>>674197067
NO
do NOT do that
>>674197629
>Junior year
>18 (my mom had me held back at a young age)
>post in a feels thread on /b/
I haven't gotten much better since then. I've only gotten better at hiding it.
I'm sorry if my story seems strangely put together. I have a hard time speaking in understandable sentences these days. I can't seem to put the right words in the right places anymore. I wish things could have been different, /b/
Why is the world have to be such a bad place?
I don't want to die alone
You might not love me, /b/, but that's ok.
>>674197495
Believe me. I know what this is. I know how you feel. I know what it's like. There is a monster living inside of you, controlling you. Believe me though, he is not you. Someone special told me that sometimes people are cursed with having evil live inside them. When I asked them why, they said it's because the person themself is too good. Just like you. Don't hate yourself. You are all you have. You may hurt yourself, and loathe yourself, curse your own existence but you have always been there for you, so don't give up
>>674197880
Would you please kill me if you are in Australia?
>just started uni
>no friends
>in a house with strangers
>classes suck
>degree is shit
>would move out into another feild but I already spent money
>can't be fucked living like this
What do I do /b/ I am just angry or sad that's it. I am so sick of this
>>674196694
Man you had something special with a girl that accepted you for you. Do you know how fucking insanely scarce that is? And that got taken away from you by an evil dude. You need to kill him.
>>674197880
>>674197886
Not getting the Deadpool reference. K.
>>674197067
Rolling for this
>>674197917
Thank you for telling us your story. It will be remembered. /b/ does love you, in its own little fucked up way.
...Honestly, getting a pet, such as a dog or cat might be an amazing addition to your life. It might give you some hope for the shitty hand that you were dealt.
>>674197602
I'm still holding on, even though it's physically and mentally devastating. I just grow weary at times more so than before being that she is no longer a constant in my existence
>>674196868
Please dont fall for this guise. You will fucking get burned badly if you buy into the woman are princesses meme. Speaking from experience.
>>674198173
I had a cat but it died of kidney failure in the hospital.
I also have a bird but his time is limted. Have a pic
>>674198229
Exactly. That guy is a fucking idiot who has been told his whole like that women are the pinnacle of humanity and he just worships them
>>674198295
Aww, shit man. That's terrible, I'm sorry.
Your bird looks cute, what breed?
>>674197495
Describe your experience with 'the voices'
You realize it's all in your mind. Right?
>>674198218
Please try and get help for it. You can live in peace. It can be okay, if you just let it. People want to help you, so let them.
>>674197952
I'd give the world to be with her. To hear her voice. I'll give up my dream to be a part of her world. To choose between ridding my life of schizophrenia or seeing her happy, I would choose her in a heartbeat. She has so much more life than I have, I want to show her the last of me. The man I was, and the man I have within me.
>>674198562
Budgie. Had him since I was in 4th grade. He's getting old and had lots of fights with diseases.
>>674198006
So, grim humor aside:
I'm not going to try to pretend I understand what you're going through. The levels of betrayal you must feel are beyond my experience, and the anxiety and darkness schizophrenia brings with it is building up the Perfect Emotional Shitstorm. I've tried helping depressive schizophrenic friends, people who have helped me and I care about. I've personally reached levels of depression where I couldn't eat for days on end (I'd throw up if i tried) and my already skinny figure hit skeleton levels. So while I may not know the exact hole you find yourself in, I'm gonna try and offer some advice, anon.
>>674197917
what kind of school does/did your mother attend, so that she wasted the money that was actually for you and your siblings?
anon, it seems like you have a lack of confidence. probably because you grew without a father. and you thought that moving to your fathers place would help to gain the missing confidence. however, your father doesnt seem to be someone who recognizes his sons feelings. if you want to imrove your life, you shouldn't wait for your familys life. i think they are already lost in a similar situation like you. they are living without any goal in their life.
when you started to do sports in HS, attending the literature club and socializing you had the best conditions to start a new life chapter. but you started to think to much of other people. you shouldnt pay attention what others think about you, you just should do what makes you feel good. i am not from the USA, neither do I know how the education and school system is there. but you should leave your fathers house, try to start your own life. study at a university, if possible, start to do what makes you feel good (draw pictures, make art, do sports, go to concerts of your favorite bands, go to clubs, take some drugs (seriouly, but not those which fuck up your life like heroin, take some mdma, lsd, weed), if you find it difficult to get to know girls, just install a dating app. more tips bro?
>>674198001
>I am so sick of this
"this" is life: mainly, interacting with people.
If you work long enough, or hard enough (or are lucky enough) you will have the money, one day, to hide yourself away from those people with every chance you get.
Or you could kill yourself.
Kind of a final solution, so cons on both ends.
>>674197997
It's funny, you know? We humans have a harder time killing ourselves rather than another human. I suppose it takes less strength to point the barrel of a pistol at someone who doesn't mean a thing to you. Suicide "victims" are incredibly strong in my opinion..
>>674198788
I hear you /b/ro
I was expressing how I felt through my artwork at the time. It's always beensort of a hobby of mine.
Thank you for the advice, I take it all to heart
>>674189666
trips of truth
>>674198002
If I kill him, the emptiness and destruction I felt will only be passed on to his mother. Then she's lost a husband and her Son. I can't do that.. No matter how much he destroyed my being..
>>674198708
Good luck in life anon, you can always find someone to talk to and interact with here on /b/. Goodnight.
>>674198659
I know exactly what you mean. Tell me about your friend. Do you know why he turned on you? Was he always that way , or was it a sudden or slow change? Do you know what could have caused it?
>>674189666
>>674194666
satan thread
>>674198006
My apologies. I haven't seen it yet.
>>674199023
Have some more if it helps visualize how I felt
>>674199023
keep doing the artwork, anon. it is the best way for the artist to deal with his feelings. i see you like to do a lot of pencil drawins. looks good, bro. start to try new stuff, for example drawing with colors a canvas picture (i hope it is the right word in english, not native speaker here). it might give you more joy to do something new and thereby you are more motivated. try new stuff, dude.
is it possible for you to study at a university? if yes, study arts if it is really what you like. and try to get a students job or something similar. if you have your own money, you start to be independent and you can decide your own life path thereby. it seems like your family doesnt support you, so it is crucial to be independent. i dont mean that you should avoid your family, but you shouldnt expect them to help you that much.
>>674199135
Yes that feeling may pass on to his family but how many others are you going to save from his evil? Do you think that was the only time hes ever going to royally screw someone over? You can save a lot of people from a lot of pain. Kill him anon.
>>674186635
>met girl
>have good time
>got to first base
>get the feels
>figure out she has bf
>i end contact
>one year later
>she starts messaging me
>soon we chat every day and night
>hearts and kisses and shit
>get the feels again
>couple of days ago she gets cold
>barely answers my shit
well she fucked my up twice, and i am still way into her
also she invated me to her place (other country) for some days
that as before she turned in to Elsa
what the fuck i am supposed to do
>>674195773
> more inbred than you faggt
jesus fuck you britshits cant even spell right
>>674198630
I'm fully aware that they aren't "real". They are a product of my mind. But that doesn't make it any less terrifying. The voices never have anything good to say. It's all derogatory and degrading. I self-deprocate quite often. They feed off of that. I will spare some of the details, but I will say that they always start as a whisper, and eventually start screaming. It sounds as unholy as I can imagine. Almost like its the sound of my grandmother being tortured far beyond the physical existence she once had on earth. It drains life from me when they come around.
>>674195196
shitcrop.jpg
>>674194670
third time reading this and it still gets to me.
>>674199274
>>674199621
furthermre, start to read some books about arts and about the artists life, picasso, van gogh, da vinci. you might see similarities in your life with theirs. and you also expand your horizon regarding arts. and start to read philosophical books. start with thomas nagel, then go on with kant. it helps you to understand the meaning of life
>>674198633
Unfortunately no one can truly help. She helped keep me sane, but I knew deep within I couldn't stay alive forever (Metaphorically speaking). I will ride this wave, and once it takes hold, I will be eternally grateful for my time of rest, and everyone I met along my journey. She's probably never coming back to me.
>>674199621
I've been looking for work where I can and I want to go to university to get a business degree so I can maybe be some executive somewhere. I just don't want to be hungry anymore, you feel? Eventually I'll save up and move to greener pastures. I really appreciate your advice, /b/ro
>>674198774
>What helped me the most:
Shia LeBouf your day. So what if things don't matter? List out some things, menial shit, and just do them. Go through motions, build routines.
>Why:
Two things are gonna keep you in that hole: trying to outrun problems, and wallowing. We carry our scars with us. We feel each betrayal, we remember each person who hurt us. We keep walking. Sometimes, you'll stop and sigh and remember. Then you'll go back to folding shirts, or pouring coffee, or whatever.
Suicide is not the cure-all. Death is emptiness. And, personal core belief, people who commit suicide are the weakest, most selfish people of all. Each day of life is another chance for healing, for things to get better, to figure yourself out. Are you going to let your demons drag you down? The voices may speak honey, but remind yourself that those thoughts are poison. You're stronger than that. Just the fact that you would rather seek help here than suffer and wallow is evidence.
So cook the fuck out of breakfast. Keep breathing, and some day you'll find it in yourself to be whole again.
>>674198774
I appreciate that. Truly, I do.
>>674198525
Its sad how media forces it down our throats. And the hurt some of us have to go through to see the big picture. Fucking sickening.
>>674187385
just reading that made me get tired of you.
faggot
>>674187509
Maybe he should bait the hook next time.
>>674199673
bro, forget that girl. she started to chat with you, because her bf probably left her and she still knew that you had a crush on her. weeks passed, her bf probably came back to her or she convinced him for a second chance. now she gives again zero fucks about you.
i guess you think to much about her, because she is one of the few girls you know and you think she fits best to your desire. however, you should start to get to know more girls. do stuff where you get to know them. for example a french language course, there you will meet a lot of cute girls. talk to them, get to know them, go out with them and try you luck.
>>674199199
Jealousy I suppose. He couldn't accept the fact that I had everything he did not. He figured, a good way to exact revenge was to rip apart my soul. I don't have much to say about him, without starting to get angry.
>>674187711
This got me
>>674199661
You sound like the voice that spoke to me at 2:35am yesterday morning. It frightens me slightly.
>>674200364
That's pretty painful. How long were you friends? All I can really recommend on that front is telling the police what happened and trying to find the girl before it's too late, because it seems your time is running thin
>>674197044
>>674194621
I can't fuckin' read that in public places
>>674200465
Schizophrenic here. The voices are not wrong. They never are. Choose when to listen to them, and make your own decisions, and they'll never fail you
>I met a girl 6 years ago and eventually got married.
>She was the best person in earth, smart, pretty, fuck she was even open to 3/4somes.
>We traveled places, had fun together
>She passed away from breast cancer, after being tested, she told me she hid her symptoms to avoid worrying me
>doc gave her 4 months, passed away in 2
>Still haven't killed myself because I am a pussy fag
You are all faggots and your problems are worth shit.
>>674200148
Your compassion for human life speaks to me. I can tell you that much
>>674200643
go ahead kill yourself.
you wont be happy ever again anyway
>>674200071
is having a business degree what makes you happy in the future? or is it what the society expects from you? look, i started to study mechanical engineering, because everyone told me it would fit to my abbilities and i would have a good future thereby. i have almost finished, i am writing the thesis right now. but seriously, i aint that happy with the choice. looking back, i should have studied architectures because it was always my desire since i was a child. but i will be working as an engineer in the future, probably have a lot of money and doing a good job with my skills, but it will always be only a job to me and not my desire. if you know what i mean. what i wan to say is that you should have this in mind. but i also understand when you want to do career and get big money. you came from a poor family. thats normal. my parents arent also rich and i totally understand that.
and regarding a job, try your best to find something. go to a company or a market and ask the bosses there if they need someone to do some stuff. by saving money, you will be able to fulfill your dreams. studying is expensive, going out with friends in order to socialiaze is also expensive.
>>674200465
You may have a lot of voices in your head anon but that one is the voice of reason. You have a real chance of making the world a better place. Take it.
>start talking to girl in class
>get closer and hangout more
>go for drives and shit
>obvs start to like her
>admit I like her, she says she likes me back but isn't ready for a relationship
>I say i'll wait for her
>waited weeks
>go on facebook one day
>blahblah in relationship with blahblah
>bruh.jpg
>heart shatters
>worst part she is in a relationship with another chick, didn't know she swung both ways
>eventually got over her but every time I see her I get butterflies
>>674200466
I can't find her or I risk losing her. Either way I have my hands tied. Any move I make could lose her forever. I have to sit like a duck and pray she makes it out alive so I may save her from her terrible place she is currently in (life wise)
>>674200748
I am too much of a pussy to do it without guns.
If I had one, I wouldn't be lurking in here like a fag.
>>674186635
Can anyone give me some reasons to live because I'm fresh out of them lol
Btw I have no friends and I grow more distant from my tiny family each day aaanndd I'm an ugly faggot
>>674200912
I'm sorry anon. I need to go, but I really want to get some form of communication with you. Is there any other messaging platform you have that I can contact you on?
>>674200643
do you really think that the girl wanted you to commit suicide? i dont think so faggot. stop acting like a little child, keep the girl in your heart forever and live life for her, you egocentric faggot. start to date other girls, because she definitely wouldnt want you to stay alone forever. i know it is hard, but the girl would be sad when she would know that you started to live life like an useless piece of shit.
>>674200952
Helium exit bag. None of the pain and all of the fun. High pitch giggling to death. Best way to go IMO
>>674200561
I wish the voices spoke to me in different contexts. It's always a result of self-deprocation and hatred. I don't get to have "good" voices. I don't want to listen to them.
>>674191399
how fucking old are you? 12?
sorry about your mom btw
>>674200830
Yeah. Life is rough and it's also expensive. I'm going to sleep now. Good night anon and I hope things go well gor you and you make loads of money
>>674201054
I have a throwaway email.. meetme5466 @ gmail
>>674190292
Listen to the voices in your head, schizophrenia is not a sickness, it is a gift, a gift that people in power and pharmaceutical companies drill into the minds of youth as a bad thing. they outcast all the "schizos" and the "psychos" but in reality they are superior human beings. if the voices are telling you to kill yourself, it is foresight into the future and is probably the best posible outcome that you have subconsciously calculated.
>be 19
>have girlfriend of two years, really in love
>happy families
>just moved into our own apartment for her start at the uni
>I work in the navy so gone 3 weeks off 3 weeks on
>whilst at sea I suddently get this thought that i'd be better off alone in that apartment and that im tired of being with her
>break up with her while at sea, having her move out when i got home
>4 months later i have never been as sad and lonely as i am today, wanting to get in contact with her again but she wont cuz she hates me
>dont know anybody in this fucking city
>just sit at home every fucking day, not doing shit, inable to get in contact with new people because im not a student anymore
what do i do b, please help im so sad
>>674201068
Tried it, fell asleep and woke up with a fucking headache worth 20 bitches.
Tried peturbarbital or whatever its called, slept for almost 2 days with twice the lethal dose
>>674201462
Ayy dude what are you doing
>>674201396
alright bro. have a good night. and dont fall in a life hole. just work on it to have a better life. you are able to do better!
>>674200952
yeah, all i can think of is a bullet through my head,
or an bigass explosion, spreading all my molecules in to the Atmhosphere. Its not that i am just scared, i feel also somewhat sorry for myself....
>>674201462
Could you elaborate? This interests me. I don't quite understand the point of view.
>>674201539
You don't have it. You can't know it's wrong. Only we know that it is good.
>>674201524
You have to get pure helium lmao
>>674201057
She is dead, so what does it matters?
I also have memmory issues, I rather die with her memories intact than just forget about her entirely in a few years.
>>674201539
Something that needs to be done, this man needs to be freed.
>>674186635
>date someone
>they claim to love me
>don't talk to me, don't ask me questions
>don't include me when talking about the future
>only reach out when they want to fuck/bored
>>674201497
next time dont throw somebody out because your hormones play up. Think before you act shitface
>>674197917
We love you /b/rother. Stay strong.
>>674195842
>I'd rather be in a relationship with someone.
>>674201625
>>674201041
oh bro. The world is cold for our kind....
i can relate to a lot of this but i have to say its heart warming to know that im not completely alone
>>674197917
/b/ loves you anon.
/b/ might judge you, and poke fun, but /b/ loves you.
>>674201726
What?
You get to fuck her anyways, what's wrong with that?
>>674201497
my friend. i live a sad long life. In the spare moments i think i found somebody who could like me, i am the happiest person on Earth. How the fuck could you do something so stupid?
>>674201041
Man I wish I could give you reasons but I cant. Its an ugly fucking world we live in.
>>674201041
read Lives of The Soul
>>674201896
it was a boy, and,
I don't give a fuck about sex.
I am just mad I was lied to. I don't really believe people in general, they can say whatever the fuck they want and it just goes right past me, but god fucking dammit.
>>674197917
not being able to complete sentences...
not wanting to die alone.
ayy the feels...
>>674187171
Nothing is fucking terrible I feel nothing all the time and it is not nice it just makes you think about suicide all the time and you have very few things that could make you think otherwise.
>>674197917
Das some strong shit anon
Might never get to actually know you but I'm rooting for you and I hope things get better
>>674201041
As long as you have something you like to do, you have a reason to live, because you wont have it once you die.
Who says you need pussy to live? If you like videogames, are looking to watch a movie you like, or like doing something like taking care of dogs or old people, thats a reason to live.
Else gtfo and kill yourself faggot.
>>674201041
patience, just wait.
>>674202108
Then stop being a fag and do something about it.
Make his life a missery, hook up with hotter fags to spite him.
Or actually try and get a decent relationship, faggot.
>>674201648
you are an egoistic faggot. i dont know what makes you feel like that. the fact that she died or the fact that you are alone right now.
>>674202341
what a small person you are
>>674202368
Probably both
And yeah, I am egoistic as fuck.
Like, I would rather pick up a penny than give it to a fucking old hobo.
I didn't cared about anything but her and myself, and now it's just me.
>>674202422
Nah, I just don't give a shit.
>>674202536
look bro, i dont care if you kill yourself. but i just dont think it would be good to do so. because i am quite sure that your girl wouldnt want it. if you girl had a dream, then fulfill it for her, you faggot. then you will always think about her and wont forget her.
>>674187848
i dont get this one.. is he obsessed with her in the last one?
>>674202216
thats why i have a hobby... but right now my hobby is standing still and i feel like utter shit.
I've always thought about killing myself and how little difference it would make if I never even existed, but I never go through with it. Something just always stops me. Despite how fucking shitty everything can be I never actually end my own life, even if noone would care.
Am I a coward? Or am I brave for holding on?
>>674203043
Well you are on the internet now right? That's doing something you fag.
If not, get one, find shit you like to do, or if you can't find anything to do at least put your money to good use and get yourself a shit ton of alcohol and hookers.
If you liked doing that, you now have a reason to live.
>>674203152
we re both i guess, cowards and heroes
>>674203152
You are a coward, not because you avoid killing yourself, but because you consider it in the first place.
Find something to do faggot, truth is, until you get married, no one will give a shit about you.
And trust me, it takes a shit ton of time to get married, but EVERYONE fucking does at some point. So stop being a faggot.
>>674202931
The original was just her silencing all the other stress and anxiety in his life. This version is supposed to be rejection, I think, how she was the only good thing in his life and then left.
>>674187711
This post made me think and realize I AM that friend to someone, and they're that friend for me.
Thanks anon, this thread actually made me really happy.
>>674196685
Orange County represent!!!!!!
>>674187295
There's no such thing as "waiting for someone to enter your life", you need to find something you like and then meet people who like the same thing and make new friends. I started playing larp alone and then I met my actual friends and I'm happy now, I also have a girlfriend who like the same activity. I'm a totally average guy so when you have a chance to make new friendships don't let the chance slip away.
>>674203333
quads confirm.
grow some balls.
or start sucking on them.
some kind of hobby...
>>674186635
>25 years old
>Father of a beautiful baby girl
>Everything is great, wife is a fuckin awesome person
>Baby girl has some health problems later on, spend all my days working my ass off to pay for her health care because obama fucked up my coverage
>Spend every last dime trying to save her, she's only 2 years old
>Passes away
>Wife is contemplating suicide
>I'm contemplating suicide.
Real close ladies and gentlemen, only thing stopping me is her.
>>674204583
If you are sure she is going to do it, speak about it with her. Try to talk her out of it, if it seems she doesn't gives a shit, propose her a mutual suicide.
You will regret it otherwise m8, you wont have a great time without her.
>>674204583
have another kid asshole plus you have eachother
>>674197917
I read your story, and feel affinity.
I was homeschooled, internet was my social upbringing.
Life is material... Hobbies are the thing I look towards in between shifts at my job. I live in my head, Defective.
>>674204709
i was online for this
tragic
>>674187509
this is why i hate fishing
>>674204583
european anon here. explain me please how obama fucked up your coverage?
and my advice: even tough you are in a bad situation and feel shitty, act like a strong man in front of your wife. do you best so that she feels better. show her that life goes on. seriously, do everything what is possible to make her feel good. show her that you are always there for her. because when she feels good, you feel good. my condolences, anon.
>>674204583
Murder/suicide pact
>>674203379
concise and exact
this phase of my life was extremely difficult. the worst part is how no one can tell you how to get over it... either it happens or it doesn't
>>674192291
Lying
>>674205330
It's often just time. Not words, not anything
>>674195120
Literally anyone that's not American?
>>674199677
top kek. non native english speaker here. but you US americans have british origin and kept their language. started to write it different and blame the british folk that they write wrong? you US americans are really egocentric, thinking that USA is the center of the world.
>>674186921
How fucking gay is that.
>>674186967
Facebook tier bullshit
>>674187171
Seriously.. Go live in the 3rd world for a while and stfu.
Fucking teenagers..
>>674189774
and then I realised how fucking retarded I am to have an ego this fragile.
Failing is better than doing nothing, and you'll never succeed unless you actually try stuff. You can learn from failure. Unless you're a total retard.
Given that you wrote this you probable are, in which case rope is pretty cheap these days.
>>674198923
I agree... i keep trying and failing. I just want out
>>674205790
oh noo, some people have emotions
oh noo, some people have 'worse' issues, therefore your own concerns are invalidated
>using gay as an insult
>complaining about something being childish and immature
Only thing im looking forward to in life. Is the fact that one day ill snap n kill myself thts a fact. N it comforts me
>>674206051
Relatable. Do you get worrisome about being murdered?
I do, a lot depending on the setting. If someone is gping to have the pleasure of killing me it should at least be me.
>>674206051
>snap and kill myself.
The day my pencil lead spoke.
>>674206030
It's not emotions when it's this puerile. Faggot
>>674206030
>*slams bedroom door and turns Korn up really loud.
>>674190763
> Feels so good to have moved past that phase in my life
Just one step closer to suicide.
>>674186921
>>674186967
>>674187171
>>674187295
>>674187509
>>674187848
>>674189774
so fucking gay
>>674206589
>puerile
holy fucking shit, how hard can it be to stop love someone?
someone who doesnt love you?
i just want turn of my Brain, for ood
>>674206589
you don't get to decide which emotion is worthwhile and which isn't. or if how a person feels is 'appropriate', or mature or any other ridiculous adjective you can use to make it seem insignificant.
>>674206846
I don't need to slam anything, I moved out some time ago. And it was my parents slamming the door, not me.
>>674204098
Fuck man, that hurts me.
>>674195196
ela an this one are the best feels stories
>>674206589
Get your head out of your ass and hurry up and grow out of acting like an edgy 20 something. Your problems too will look petty as you age. Your ignorance of this fact makes you look just as foolish.
>>674196868
Youre a fuckin ignorant piece of shit
Women.... Women...that phrase about how hell hath no scorn doesnt even do them justice.... Women will be the death of me
Just as theyve brought me into this world,
Mothered and coddled me, washed and clothed me, nurtured me back to health when I was battlescarred by this world, in an instant they can set ablaxe everything that is yout heart, and salt the wound onve the flames become nothing but smoulderimg ash and smoke... I am dead anon.... Dead but walking and writhing in pain
Its not that there is no God, its that he and by extention no one else wants me, and I made em... I wandered to hell for a home, and at its gates I found no solice, for even satan sent me back, so I travelled to places and discovered fates worse than hell and death... Loneliness and solitude
Such is the bitterness of one
This is why God shattered himself into everything so that he may not feel the loneliness that is one...
So here I sit
Agent unto myself for eternity
Long after the last star dies and the universe implodes on itself
I will still be here
Its quiet
>>674186635
>when you're sad, hold the tears
>when you hurt, ignore the pain
>problems? Keep them to yourself
>no one else cares
>no one ever asks what's wrong
>everyone expects you to be strong
>finally decide to end your pain, and suddenly, everyone cares, everyone cries, everyone says "he will be missed. He was a great friend/son/lover"
>everyone pretends to care after you're gone
>tfw people care more when you are dead than when you are alive
>bernie lost every state last night
>>674195536
HAW HAW
>>674207974
How is that even sad?
Just wanted to stop by and let you anons that it gets better. Really. Just hang in there. Good things are on the way.
>>674194621
Fuck you man. I wasnt ready for this
>>674207612
huh whats your sad story bro?
>>674186635
How is he going to hang himself with a rope that is literally 4 feet of the ground?
<inb4 50th suicide attempt
for feels, sad screenshots taken out of context on facebook
An Idea, a Form, a Being
Which left the azure sky and fell
Into a leaden, miry Styx
That no eye in Heaven can pierce;
An Angel, imprudent voyager
Tempted by love of the deformed,
In the depths of a vast nightmare
Flailing his arms like a swimmer,
And struggling, mortal agony!
Against a gigantic whirlpool
That sings constantly like madmen
And pirouettes in the darkness;
An unfortunate, enchanted,
Outstretched hands groping futilely,
Looking for the light and the key,
To flee a place filled with reptiles;
A damned soul descending endless stairs
Without banisters, without light,
On the edge of a gulf of which
The odor reveals the humid depth,
Where slimy monsters are watching,
Whose eyes, wide and phosphorescent,
Make the darkness darker still
And make visible naught but themselves;
A ship caught in the polar sea
As though in a snare of crystal,
Seeking the fatal strait through which
It came into that prison;
— Patent symbols, perfect picture
Of an irremediable fate
Which makes one think that the Devil
Always does well whatever he does!
>>674191399
>im 12 yo and i have no idea of what im doin
>>674198923
Strong for the last time.
>>674196596
Stepfather/mom's new boyfriend kind of things for the most part.
>>674197917
Start working out again, maybe start wrestling/boxing/mma aswell, gives you purpose, confidence, aswell as working out making you happy, which i think is biological in some weird way
walk in peace anon
>>674196931
wow you went full spaghetti
but that's ok man, i too am a dumb shit when it comes to understand women
don't fail over this, move on and focus on getting things right next time
>>674201041
start working out like fucking crazy
find something you like, maybe there's someone in the world who wants to pay you for doing it
having nothing to lose is a powerful state to be in
much love
>>674199023
Nice. Draw some furries and get paid faggot.
>>674210316
That's the most faggotry but easiest way to get money.
Heck, you can even paywall the shit and fur fags wills till give you money for it.
>>674194670
>>674195320
Sad screenshots page on Facebook is in this thread sharing this shit.
Bitch.
>>674204583
>blaming Obama for your inferior genes
At least you're coping faggot.
