ITT: We all work for Compukek
To apply, reply with your name and desired position and request an office by number.
Jim
Office Manager
#1
OP is a fag
>>673622596
Stop telling me things I already know dickweed.
Frank
Lead Product Marketing Distributor
#8
Kressida
Server Administrator
#24
Keith
Janitor
#basement
>>673623448
>>673623661
Welcome aboard! Grab your personalized coffee mugs and try not to fuck anything up.
>>673622365
hi this is bob from the old office. i was in reception there. id like room 28 as i am now generally in charge of lots of things. thanks.
>>673624227
Yeah, I remember those days. We still never got a new explosives specialist.
Isaac
#11 (Check 'em)
Head Game Dev.
Tavish DeGroot
Demolitions Expert/Pyrotechnition
#40
Some fucker keeps Prank calling my office phone.
#24
Tyrone
Janitor
#36
>>673624613
yeah abdul...he um got fired.
Ay Yo, its Ya Boi Tyrone
I Be Teh Bossman
Com Holla at me at Office 36
>>673625070
Speaking of, where's HR?
Logan
Accounted
38
>>673622365
Hello Jim,
My name is Bobby Eatsalot
I'm interested in working for your company.
My favorite number is 13
Lisa
the office administration skank that sucks dick to advance in the workplace
Mike
I'll take 37
>>673625410
fuck that i got the shittiest fucking office wtf im sucking dick and this si the best i get ?
>>673625410
Hey Lisa... There's some buttons I need you to come press in the server room.
>>673625223
I'm kind of filling that in for now.
>>673625223
put hr in 26 and 27 and also the conf room beside my office. i will head up the HR dept since im generally in charge of a lot of things. interested candidates for hr dept can see me in room 28
>>673625502
Also, I'm the advertising manager
Kek the janitor gets a closet.
Come on man
Andrew.
Assistant manager.
Request 36
Jeb!
Guacamole salesman
#2
ANNOUNCEMENT
Please sign your messages from now on, we've had way too much identity theft already.
Jim
Office Manager
>>673622365
Jim's a cuck that thinks the break room is his office.
Gary
President
office #8
>>673625811
how the fuck did tyrone get in room 36 see HR for neww assgmnt
>>673625811
Andrew again. Missed that 36 was taken.
Shit nvmd request 10. Am stoned man.
>>673625857
This is too complicated.
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
>>673625857
Sign by name or office number, sir?
24
Hey guys, we gonna need to cut wages
Logan,
Accountant at 38
Dangle
Head of Stealing Food from the Breakroom Fridge
Last two of post decide my office
>>673622365
Penis
Professional Slacker
#6 please
>>673625968
wtf I have to sign my messages? I'm not even hired yet, am I...?
Road virus
>>673626092
Fuck. Rerolling
>>673625578
Henry
#10
dress code enforcement
Jesus (pronounced hey-zeus)
the mexican intern who just immigrated here. Gets coffee and photo copies paper for you lazy americunts.
>>673626140
Sir, we can't keep buying all the rerolls
Logan.
Accountant at 38
Jebbediah
Coffee Machine Operator
Office #17
Jesse
The middle cubicle of the ladies bathroom (because that's hilarious)
HR Assistant
>>673626252
Logan fuck off with your numbers. The hedge fund guys will bail us out.
>>673622365
Big Ounce
Professional street nigga
#420
>>673626252
Don't worry I put it on the company card
-Dangle
>>673625811
Welcome aboard ass man.
>>673625993
Do the one that's not stone cold retarded.
>>673625880
The break room is that huge ass thing in the middle with the tables and coffee makers, sir.
>>673626140
Hah!
Took it before ye!
~Tavish
>>673626280
jesus already does this ass hole
Jesus
Recently Mexican Immigrated Intern
Lisa, i need you in my office.
Tyrone the Janitor
Hi guys, I'm the new guy in 13.
Speaking of 13, did you know that's my favorite number. Reminds me of a bakers dozen. Boy I love doughnuts. Anyway I'm happy to be and grateful for being here in such a nice office so close to the break room. My Doctor said I should walk more,... fuck that! I said yeah right lets see you weigh 375 Lbs and walk around. God I love my Hover-round.
Thanks,
Bobby Eatsalot
>>673626363
Thank god
>>673626337
THE HEDGE GUY IS A FUCKING TRAITOR
Djinous
Diplomat from the KKK
9
>>673626375
Mike
Advertising Manager
37
Andrew, Village Rapist, somewhere in or around the women's restroom.
Requesting #39 Mr Jim sir.
-Dangle
>>673626375
OP you stupid cunt I had office 10 like 10 minutes before you assigned it to someone else jesus do your fucking job
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
>>673626117
k obviousely I'm not getting assistant manager soooo.....
> Andrew
> Office nosebreather creep; the guy that stands way too close to girls and hugs too much. Also, I gave Lisa crabs, so fuck all y'all niggas.
> Requesting office #10
Dougan.
I claim both bathroom stalls.
Uh, hey, Gary, can you deal with these illegal immigrants in our office?
-Isaac
Justin here,
Lead Engineer,
Request 23
>>673626375
Person above me is a fag
Operational Manager
37
>>673626567
Fuck you dicknozzle, that's my name, already spoken for, take another name.>>673625811
>>673625968
>>673626732
Faggot.
-Isaac
Hey Jim
I'm getting a ton of unwarranted viruses from Bobby eatsalots office.
Kressida
>>673626375
Person below me is a fag
Process Tech
27
>>673626578
You never asked for an office at all you dumb slut.
>>673626375
Chef boyRd
offical house chef
#9
>>673622365
Sam
Assistant to the regional manager
Room #9 and the little bit to the side of it, We'll call it 9.5
Hi, accountant Logan here. I'm a secret Muslim so IF THIS POST GETS SINGLES THE BOMBS I PLACED BOMBS EVERYWHERE WILL GO OFF THAT'S WHY WE WERE NEAR BANKRUPT, I SPENT ALL OF THE MONEY BOMBS. THE BOMBS WONT GO OFF IF I GET A DUBS, TRIPS, OR QUADS.
>>673626763
Fine. I'll change my name to "True Andrew", Village Rapist, in or around the women's restroom.
Fuck that was disgusting I was just in the shiter and fell asleep in the handicap stall when I heard moaning peeped out and seen Justin blowing Issac.
Bobby
>>673626965
or #32
Sal. Rooftop pigeon Management.
Snoop
Office Blunt Roller
#25
>>673626954
wtf I thought they were being assigned according to our last post numbers??? thats what would have made more sense...we roll randomly for our office.
Lisa, I have some of that cream left over, if you need it.
btw, I've got the syph now too, so better go get checked.
Andrew
>>673626954
Spell my name right, please.
Djinous
Diplomat from the KKK
>>673622365
Tyrone Jackson
Director of FIRE Mix-Tapes
#4
>>673626965
Hey bud, this is the assistant to the regional manager and I believe you chefs work in the basement with that janitor guy.
Stop requesting offices that are already taken. You may claim an occupied office only if you defeat the occupant in physical combat.
Jim
Office Manager
>>673627045
oh shit. check em' for diffuse
>>673626954
Vagina
Psychologist
5
>>673627066
Don't accuse other people of their sexuality when you can't even decide your own, Bobby!
-Isaac
>>673627145
physical challenge
>>673627062
thx fam, that's all I wanted.
btw, I just found out I have aids...... yeah that time at the office party when you drugged me and raped me..... I was still awake....
better get checked, True Andrew.
>>673622365
Habeeb
Discombobulator support
#12
Nick
#29
IT specialist
Chad
#3
I want the very top curved part, it looks like an outside court yard. If that doesnt work I want office 36 and tyrone can gtfo and if you dont give it to me i sue for sexism and sexual harassment for millions and you all lose your job.
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
>>673626954
Anus
Proctolosyxcal
7
Logan, I can see your correspondence with ISIS... They rejected you. Give up.
Kressida
Server Administrator.
>>673627066
wtf why wasn't I invited?
> Andrew, the guy that hugs too much
Mike
Advertising manager
37
>>673627086
Reread the OP you illiterate bimbo.
>>673627257
I like doughnuts and doughnut holes, but at least I don't call people faggots and pay the the gay guy in Engineering to perform fellatio on me.
>>673627654
Sorry I missed you the first time.
>>673627677
You still haven't spelled my name right. Do I need to talk to the klan about your disrespect?
Djinous
Diplomat to the KKK
>>673627677
Ya im saying it would have made more sense if we randomly rolled for offices. THAT would have been more fun. then you don't know what youre getting. And I want either the court yard at the top or tyrones in 36
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
Nolan
IT Specialist
Office #30
Yo, somebody with a window in their office, wanna burn one?
Andrew
Chef boyRd and the other chefs have joined forces for room 32 and the head of the assitant manager. which will be sprial cut and lathered in kidney broth and simmered for 45 mins in a hot well, served with whole uncooked potatoes and a small side salad
>>673627859
It's all good Jim.
Glad I can be a part of this team. Also, maybe we can use Lisa as part of our newest ad campaign. And then fire her for substance abuse.
>>673628084
Me!
>>673627860
I ain't got time for that shit.
>>673627907
That would've taken way too long and been absolutely pointless.
>>673627956
Get ready to see some wet keyboards my friend
Kressida
Server administrator
>>673627085
Snoop,
If you could meet me in my office, that'd be great.
Justin,
>Lead Engineer
>Compukek
Office 23
>>673627076
As you all can see our pigeon dept. is doing very well this qtr. Reminder: no rice on the roof picnic areas.
--Sal, CRPO
>>673628084
Andrew,
I could use the "inspiration". Come by my office/
Mike
>>673627859
May I please change offices from 10 to 4? I wanna smoke weed in my office, but I realized mine doesn't have a window. Don't worry, I'll stuff a towel under the door and turn on a fan.
> Andrew
>>673628149
Where is True Andrew?
Kool Kat Karl
The KKK's HR manager
Share office 9 with Djinous
>>673628149
GIVE ME THE FUCKING COURT YARD ON TOP
LISA
OFFICE ADMINISTRATIONAL SKANK
>>673628149
it wouldnt have been pointless it actually might have made it more fun
Thanks for giving me a spot to blaze, bro, swing by for a drink sometime.
> Fuck, I hope Mike doesn't tell anybody my secret.....
>>673628381
Lisa,
This is Mike. You're under advertising now. And you're fired for not doing shit.
Mike
Advertising Manager
>>673628381
Lisa, as a woman, I'm not sure your feeble mind can understand this, but, your opinion doesn't matter.
>>673622365
Skeeter
Supervising Janitor
Basement
>>673628149
Xavier
Operations and Techinical Specialist
#41
>>673628477
No prob brah. That Lisa bitch can fuck right off right?
>>673628117
Fire her? Hell no, we all get high as balls.
>>673628280
It's alright, just get one of those febreeze plugins.
>>673628350
I gave him a better name.
>>673628149
I want the conference room above Tyrone the Janitor.
I'm Feely McFeelerson, and I am the Head of the Feelings Dept.
Anyone need help with theyre computers? ~ nick, IT specialist
>>673628673
How are you feeling right now?
Kressida
Server Administrator
>>673628521
Mike,
This is Lisa. Suck my asshole/clit.
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
>>673628647
I'm just saying. I like my office skanks to not smell like the ocean.
Mike
Advertising Manager
>>673628149
Jim,
Dougan refuses to move his filing cabinet from in front of the urinal so I can use it. I've asked numerous times and he still has not done anything.
-Dangle
>>673628647
Handy Andy. Nice.
>>673628751
>They're Computers
Horrible application
Greetings Jim
Alfie D. Sucker
Mail sorter
Eleven
>>673628634
Fuckn eh, bro. She can fuck off and take the crabs, syph, and aids with her, he he
>>673628810
I feel fine. How do you feel?
Feely
>>673622365
Bill, the middle management guy everyone avoids.
>>673628850
Dangle,
This is Mike. Just piss on it.
-Mike
>>673626328
Jim there's a bit of an issue. I showed up to work today and my office was simply a ladies bathroom cubicle, as if it hadn't been set aside for me at all. Please rectify this ASAP.
Regards,
Jesse
Human Resources Assistant
Karisma
#IT assistant to nolan
In same office (#30)
Adolf Hitler
Human Resources
#31
>>673628850
Not my problem.
>>673628647
B-but Jim I wanna have a window. Maybe glance at the sunset one last time before I blow my head off one of these days.
Andrew
>>673628952
Dude, this shit is fire. Who your man?
Hector
#33
Web Designer
>>673628956
Fuck, there's Bill.
Justin
>>673629053
The top court yard please
Lisa
Office Administration Skank
>>673628885
Hey bro, can you take a look at this and tell me if I should see a doctor?
niggerfaggot CEO #9999999999
Joseph Stalin
Human Resources
Office #32
>>673629204
If you gotta ask brah, you should see one maaan
>>673628237
As you can see from this info graphic or satellite pigeon stations across the city are doing well and growing in number every day. Thank you for all you do, fellow employees. Or mission is unclear, but or goals are not.
--Sal, CPRO
>>673628955
Pretty good, considering I can smell Lisa's rotting gash from here, but only just enough for me to convince myself its just Chef's tuna salad casserole again.
Kressida
Server admin
>>673628829
Lisa,
That cake you left in the fridge was excellent. Especially the white icing on top. Though it was a bit salty. If you could send another piece to my office by 5, that'd be great.
-Dangle
>>673628850
Dougan here, My office is in the stall.
My bet is Handy Andy moved his shit in here.
Jim, can I get a raise? I maxed out my credit card at Chilli's and I need a new office chair, they don't seem to meet ADA standards and as you know with my weight I have mobility issues.
-Bobby Eatsalot
>Sr. Project Coordinator
>Compukek
Office 13
>>673629204
No, just rape a virgin and it will go away.
>>673629335
Dangle,
I'll give you whatever you want if I get my court yard office on top.
Lisa
>>673629047
Hey buddy wanna go drop some LSD?
~Nolan
>>673629310
Come on maaan, be a good sport, take one for the team, or imma tell everyone you stuck in in my butt at the christmas party. I mean for real dude, did you even wear a condom b/c I didn't hear you open the package.
Jimmy rustle
Anger management dept.
35
>>673629407
It's not up to me but sure whatever.
>>673622365
Admiral Snackbar
Head of Food Services and Waste Disposal
Elevator #6
>>673629532
Dont forget me
~ nick
>>673629172
Hey Justin! Keep up the good work.
>>673628149
Jim, I just saw Justin in the hall, I think he's avoiding me
-Bill.
>>673629316
Hallo Freunde!
I am Adolf, and I am in charge of human resources now! Emphasis on human (no Jews)
>>673629053
Requesting to be moved to 36 since Tyrone was moved to the janitors closet.
-Dangle
>>673629316
Thanks Jim, will enjoy lookng at the sunset. I'll be working late lots to make up for being stoned.
And the building is kinda shaped like one of those trade federation spaceships, so I can pretend I'm on the bridge.
>>673629554
Everyone knows dipshit. I made sure EVERYONE would see. That way they know who the real boss was. And no I didn't. Remember? Lisa licked the creampie from your asshole.
-Mike
>>673629056
Jim,
Give him a window. If we're lucky, maybe he'll jump.
-Dangle
DJ Khaled
CEO We the Best
Office number 10
The printer is broken, could someone go to #33 and fix it for me?
-Hector
>>673629739
That's the other Tyrone you're thinking of, the one in 36 is the CEO.
>>673629415
Good idea bro, does anybody have a little sister?
Hey Jim,
Mind if I take out this wall here for direct access to the elevator?
Thanks,
Dougan
>>673628149
Hey Jim, Bill again. Are my e-mails getting through? Maybe I need to call Nick over in IT.
-Bill
>>673628236
How many you need?
Snoop,
> Office Blunt Roller
Office 25
>>673630181
Don't worry omw
-Nolan
Papa Hacker
Team Leader
Requesting 26/27, planning on just tearing the wall down for a bigger office
>>673630346
Fuck you he asked for me
>>673630140
I'd like to say yes but that's a storage closet.
>>673630181
Yes, but I really don't give a shit about your problems. Take it to HR.
>>673629928
W-What? Man, call me Marcellus Wallace because I ain't your bitch. Hang on a sec, let me call up Butch.
>>673629972
Thanks man. I really hope to be a good asset to the team. Remember y'all, breath deeply and count to 3!
Love,
Jimmy Rustle from Anger Managements
Jim
I demand sacrifice or i will burn it down to the ground and laugh upon ur ashes
>>673629972
-Memo to all employees-
In order to cut costs and improve our bottom line, we will no longer be offering complimentary squid kababs in the break rooms. Please direct all inquiries to the nearest garbage bin.
-ADM. Snackbar-
>>673629930
Just for that, I'm leaving a surprise in your coffee cup one of these days, Dangle.
Is it pee? Is it cum? Is it blood? Who knows, that's the fun.
Andrew
>>673630243
Just 2 for now. I actually need to be somewhat productive today.
-Justin
>>673630545
SHIT THERES A GUY WITH A GUN IN HERE
-Dangle
>>673630476
That's what you might think. But I sure do remember you asking for more at the time.
Moonman
#27
Minority Relations Specialist
Bobby
Maintenance
Basement and air shafts
Daren
Quality Assurance
34/35 please.
You smort you very smort we the best
-DJ Khaled
Someone have seen my gameboy
-Hector
Okay all, it's my time to clock out. Stay faggy. Goodnight.
Kressida
Server admin.
>>673630722
God dammit Dangle. I'll take care of him. I've got a gun too.
-Mike
>>673630545
Bitch, get an empty office or kill someone and take theirs.
>>673630008
A reminder that pedophilia is prohibited except in designated areas.
I was just at the bar and I managed to get myself a new job in politics. I quit - too many subhuman scum in this company
-Adolf
When do we all get paid?
*cums in coffee pot* ~ nick, IT specialist
>>673630651
Andrew,
I will only drink coffee if it has been left in the fridge.
-Dangle
>>673630967
when yoh start workin
>>673630967
Fuck you. That's when.
>>673630930
We can settle this peacefully, guys. Stay calm.
-Jimmy Rustle
>>673630967
Never. Compukek is the only corporation in the country that's specifically exempt from all antislavery laws.
Jim
Office Manager
>>673630944
>>673630751
#26 then, whatever don't care about office just want to kill jews.
Just picked up a 40 of Appleton's, who wants to swing by and shoot the shit for a while? I even got ice cubes and dem fancy ass honky drink glasses.
Andrew
Hey guys, this is Papa Hacker in room 27, just want to say your all doing a great job and to keep up the good work! Sales have really been high over the last few days!
>>673630967
Go buy yo mother a house
Go buy buy yo family houses
-DJ Khaled
Groucho #15
>>673630868
Hector,
Found your gameboy by the fridge. Come see me in my office to retrive it.
-Dangle
>>673630742
Well, I kept asking for more because I only felt 3 inches.
btw, welcome to the world of aids, you shrimp-dicked asshole.
Now come to my office and lets have a godamn toast, and you can fuck my asshole again.
Andrew
Someone took a shit on the bathroom sink
Hey guys Papa Hacker here, just wanted to say if anyone is feeling down, I'm here to talk to!
Papa Hacker
Team Leader
guess whoes office im coming for jim?
-Chef boyRd
>>673630714
Here you go.
>>673630545
Someguy McLacky
Corporate Goon
#26
>>673631030
*puts coffee pot in fridge
>>673631028
Andrew
>To: @Jim
>Cc: @Andrew.36
>Att: Prototype-V.4
Here is the blueprint of our new prototype,
Justin
>Lead Engineer
>Compukek
Jim, here's the new
>>673631672
*you go back to your office and find that someone took a shit on your desk*
~nick
Jim,
Tyrone has suggested that we begin providing a 40oz/day of malt liquor to all employees, as a method of improving morale. I'd like to set up a meeting to discuss this with department heads on Nevuary 32nd, in the South East conference room.
-ADM. Snackbar
>>673631512
Good luck faggot.
Chef boyRd to the gullag you must go
-Joseph Stalin H.R
>>673630944
OK, will keep pedophilia to designated areas, kek.
> kill someone and take theirs
So would I be allowed to kill Handy Andy and Dangle? They insulted me and I've been losing productivity, too busy sharpening my machete.
Andrew
>>673631842
Lol someone shat on Andrews desk!
*returns to office*
Awww man.... He wasn't talking to Andrew....
-Dangle
I've been working on the new company logo, that's the final product, tell me what you people find.
-Hector, web designer
>>673630751
this
Voting for the slickest nigger killer
>>673631875
It's not up to me but I like the idea.
>>673632012
Well, there's no rule against that, but you have to clean up the blood if there's any.
Jim
Office Manager
>>673631842
*eats the shit while sensuously jerking off*
Thanks, bro. Why didn't you stay and watch?
>>673631556
Thanks man,
Send the PO down to Logan in accounting. Room 38
>>673631454
I gave you the aids. And three was all you could handle. Not my fault you look at a 12 incher and complain.
>>673631447
Twilight Vampire
#3
Professional blood milkshake trashing
>>673631912
Someguy McLacky
Corporate Goon
#22
Here to do fuck all!
>>673631490
I'm with you bro
-Jimmy Rustle
Handy Andy, I'm coming to kill you in 20 minutes, K?
>>673632228
B-but you'll supply the cleaning supplies, right?
they told me not to play with fire cause u might get burned jim. Jim tell me, have u ever been burned?
>>673632505
Ask Tyrone, he's the one with those.
Moonman here
I am officially declaring the hall containing offices 24 through 28 as a minority free zone. Any minorities will be killed on sight.
That being said, since Snoop is a filthy nigger he's about to experience my trigger finger
Thanks
>>673632553
Settle down! Talk it out!
-Jimmy Rustle
>>673632553
I thought I sent you to gullag
- Joseph Stalin
AHHHHHHH I SPILT COFFEE ON THE MAINFRAME SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN
>>673632627
Someguy here, don't come into my office I'm currently busy jerking off and playing ping pong.
>>673632888
Trips Confirm, Shut It Down
>>673632012
Roger that ~nick
wow, uh, um, guys this is so strange, I have no clue how it got here, but there is a dead female body spread all over my office. I need the janitor to come clean it up.
Papa Hacker
Team Leader
>>673622365
José
Window Cleaner
The window
Department Heads, meeting to discuss free 40's for everyone begins in 30 seconds! Make your cases for or against!
-ADM. Snackbar
>>673632710
Very well.
>>673632331
*12 incher*
Dooon't lie, fam, everybody saw your 3 incher, it's ok. I still came on the floor anyway.
Why do you think Lisa made you watch me fuck her senseless with my 9 incher?
>>673633130
I think he's busy stealing office supplies for crack money.
-Someguy McLacky
>>673632734
its too late for that its time for a regime change, sometimes its best to attack when they
Alright guys, we'll see ya Monday week.
I'm heading out for my vacation at Bobby's mum's house
Justin
least expect it
>>673632710
No! He does the only thing niggers are good for. We have to keep him at least! We can move him to another office. If need be he could come share my office and some of my weed until things quiet down.
-Dangle
>>673633232
Might spill it on computerz, im not cleaning that shit up
G-guys.... I just stabbed Handy Andy but I couldn't finish the job. I think he's still alive....
Somebody should go in the bathroom and check on him....
Andrew
Gulag is very innefective, stalin.
>>673633484
GUYS WE NEED BACKUP! JIM IS IN DANGER!!
-Jimmy Rustle
>>673633484
lol no
>>673633685
*pisses on your desk while you are away* - nick
>>673633685
Why not? Gotta go piss anyway.
-Someguy
#16
Cow_Guy
Animal Relations
>>673633685
You'll never kill me. All of my blood is in my penis.
-Handy Andy
>>673633249
Allahu Snackbar
head linguist
shiet mane if snoop finna die lemme get his office
>>673633485
Either he goes or he glows, if you get my meaning.
-Moonman
>>673633848
Tyzareyak the Black Jew
#10
>>673633857
*licks the piss off my desk while jerking off on the floor*
Andrew
I forget overalls at home, I wear poncho to work for cleaning? SÃ?
José
>>673634076
Moonman dousing these sand niggers harder than sadam with his nerve gas or the firetrucks after we hit Baghdad. So let isis choke on this crescent dick, waxing harder than the moon after the fifth. I'll set fire to your oil fields with my rhymes just like we did in Iraq, so they'll have something in common with the blacks. And don't sit there looking all comfy Israel, you jews. When I'm done skull fucking assad I'm coming for you all too.
-Moonman
>>673633920
You fucking asshole. I needed that area. I'll take #15.
Ivan Ivanov
Head of international relations
Tyrone,
Unfortunately your suggestion to provide complimentary 40's has been rejected by a vote of 1-0. Please find attached an image that will help soften the blow of this devastating news.
-ADM. Snackbar
>>673633996
Wow, you can store 5 pints of blood in a 3 incher?
Andrew
This is nick, taking my lunch break. Be back in an hour.
>>673634076
No, he's still alive and he's gonna be for a while.
>>673634444
Also, check'd.
>>673634429
It's all about the girth.
Eric Harris
School Shooter
#420
oh dear god that went up fast! im outta here
>>673634347
Deal with it
>>673634115
Shit. I'll go out and buy a roller, fuck snoop.
-Dangle
like really fast
>>673634473
Alright guys, I'm going on a beer run! Who wants anything while I'm out?
"He only ever uses a bucket of dirty water, how is one meant to clean a window with dirty water?"
>>673634641
Maaaan, put that damn tuna-can looking pecker away an go see a damn doctor. I stabbed you in the chest, bro, you're bleeding everywhere.
>>673632627
And, no I'm not cleaning it up, Handy Andy is still alive, he can do it.
*hears a loud groan coming from office 27, coworkers run to see what caused the camotion. They are astonished to see Papa Hacker Hanging from the cieling. There is a note on his desk. It reads:
Dearest Coworkers,
I so dearly enjoyed my time working with all of you. You have all been so modest and caring. I just hope you all understand that this wasnt because of you. You have been an amazing group of individuals and I just want you all to know that I tried my best to be an outstanding Team Leader. I tried so hard. I hope you all attend my funeral and say some loving words about me. But dont fear for I know there is a place for me waiting in Valhala.
With Loving Care,
Papa Hacker
Team Leader
>>673634857
Anyone?
-Someguy
>>673634857
Pick me up some malt liquor
-Moonman
>>673634932
NOOOO PAPA HACKER NOOOOOO- nick
Jim,
And unfortunate banking error has left us without garbage pickup for the next 3 weeks. I'll need you to put together a taskforce of employees to manage removal of waste from offices for the building for the duration, while I work with accounting to solve this issue.
-ADM. Snackbar
>>673634857
Beer and condoms
-Cow_Guy
>>673634945
I'll take a fifth of appletons if you wouldn't mind. Join me in my office for a joint after you're back
Andrew
>>673634857
Get me some Smirnoff. And someone get Papa's stiff out of here before he starts to stink.
Jim
Office Manager
>>673635108
Let's just stick it in that nigger tyrone's office
-Moonman
Remove kebab here
Dibs on rightful clay of room 20, it is serbian soil now.
>>673635108
i got this
>>673635369
-Cow_Guy
>>673634861
u gonna need more then a bucket it seems to be spreading to the other offices
>>673635017
I gotcha man!
-Someguy
Jesus, guys I just caught Handy Andy raping Papa Hacker's corpse. We should reeeeallly think about calling 911.
>>673635176
Jim, I'm fucking baked right now, but I left a report on your desk about even gone as far even as decided to use even to go want look.
>>673634932
Rest in pepperoni Papa
I'm joining u in Valhalla. I tried to stop Chef BoyRd but I couldn't. I will never forgive myself. Allahu Ackbar.
-Jimmy Rustle
>>673635176
*as Papa Hackers body is taken down from the ceiling a clicking noise starts coming from the ceiling. No one notices at this time.
K, guys, this thread's about to 404 so imma go sit in my office and blow my head off.
Sorry about the mess.
Andrew
3 suicides. We're screwed
>>673635653
>>673635137
Here you go.
-Someguy
>>673635561
*suddenly the office of previous team leader Papa Hacker explodes causing the entire office to 404.
>>673635860
You rock man! Take this wolf with you
-Cow_Guy
>>673634473
what if i kill him myself m8?
gotta get an even burn for all unlocks and achievements
i will now listen to music to hide tyrones screams
>prodigy "firestarter"
>>673636021
Moonman approved, run him through
-Moonman