Let's play a little game /b/.
First, someone makes up a superpower, for example:
"I can change traffic lights at my will";
then, another person replies with a side effect, that would make that superpower useless:
"It only changes to you, no one else notices the difference. Btw nice trips faggot, go kill yourself"
Fuck, you know how this shit is played, i dont have to explain it like you are five.
Fucking start, i go first:
I can get dubs any time i want.
>>673556963
everyone else gets trips
I can materialize a joint in my mouth by the power of my mind.
>>673557441
but you don't have a lighter
I have the power to get laid anytime I want anywhere I want with anyone I want
>>673558350
but they always will be dudes
The amount of money on my bank account stays at a constant ten million, no matter how much I spend, it always regenerates.
>>673558531
nuh uh mane, read again, "Anyone I want"
Try again bro
>>673558711
but you are forced to live homeless
I have the power to turn people gay
>>673558242
Fucking kek
>>673558711
nice dubz btw
>>673558719
You will get beaten up to death by them right after
>>673558789
they are not attracted to you
fucking beta fag
>>673558899
I'm straight and would do it for the lulz.
I have the power to outsmart anyone
Everytime you think about money you get tree fiddy
>>673558350
Each time you are the passive partner.
>>673559018
Can only do it regarding pointless topics.
>>673559018
But only in theory
>>673559018
You live in a society where intelligence is scorned, and idiocy is celebrated.
>>673559018
You can only outsmart people in faggoty things like checkers or backgammon.
I have the power to make even the most nutritious foods taste delicious.
I can safely overclock any pc to run supercomputer tasks easily.
>>673559339
But you cannot swallow
>>673559339
You lose all your taste buds and cant taste it yourself.
>>673559424
But you have no idea how to use a supercomputer
>>673559424
But it can't do anything else i.e. gaming
>>673559339
They are not nutritious to you afterwards.
Also, nutritious food can be good, what are you underage?
I have the power to be happy
>>673559581
But you hate being happy
>>673559018
You also have asperger syndrome
I have the superpower to kill myself
I have the ability to perfectly manipulate the size and shape of my dick.
Hard mode: Don't use the obvious "No one will have sex with you."
Easy mode: ignore hard mode
>>673559700
but you dont want to anymore
I can make anyone like things that i like.
>>673559700
But you live a happy life with a 10/10 trap
>>673559717
You will never be able to cum.
>>673559838
But you don't like them anymore
>>673559717
The size and shape are grotesque looking, in other words, no one will have sex with you.
>>673559717
but you dont know how to use your dick
>>673559838
but you have shitty tastes
>>673559717
You have no balls
>>673559717
But everybody WANTS sex with you
>>673559717
but you can't manipulate the material, so it turns to ice and then melts away.
>>673559057
It only goes to gansta shit, aka drugs, bitches, and drug addicted bitches
>>673559717
It will permanently get covered in fur.
I have the power to transfer any assets and powers I've acquired in video games into my real life.
I have the power to gas all jews, furries etc.
>>673560025
but you cant play video games anymore
>>673559977
Triple dubs
>>673560059
but you'll be called hitler and you will have to commit sudoku
I have the power to jump in to pictures like blues clues
>>673560077
That doesn't make it useless.
What about the video games he's played in the past?
>>673560059
But you fight a war on two fronts
I have the power of imagination, anything I WANT becomes real. Only things i want. I have full control of the things i make real
My feet never get too cold or too hot and never sweat nor smell.
>>673560136
but he cant remember games then?
>>673559502
I have the power to toggle invisibility at my will.
>>673560179
But you are retard autist
>>673560025
But all the bosses you've fought with respect to the same games manifest in reality and attempt to kill you
>>673560025
Every antagonist transfers into your life as well.
>>673560202
but the rest of your body does
>>673560263
But everyone else will turn invisible too
>>673560025
But it only lasts a couple of seconds before they disappear.
>>673560350
that'd be fucking hilarious to be honest
I have the power to literally make Adolf Hitler get off his dick-throne in the midst of the flames of hell, walk into the bathroom, and sob quietly in the corner of a shower, holding a bottle of cheap whiskey in his shaking hand, no longer secure in his position as the world’s least likeable human being.
i can suck my own dick
>>673560291
>>673560326
I'm surprisingly okay with this.
>>673560179
You only want some sour cream.
I have the power to turn people into inanimate objects
>>673560136
He was a faggot and played The Sims his whole life.
>>673560179
But soon after the part of your brain responsible for imagination gets destroyed
>>673560130
I don't even know what to say
So I'll go with the obvious choice
>Kill yourself
>>673560431
But you can never cum. Only I'm close to climax.
>>673560330
that's still pretty fucking good m8
>>673560431
You can never finish
>>673560423
But all the Jews still live
>>673560544
>>673560541
jokes on you i just like the taste (no im not a fag)
>>673560423
You have to hug and console him.
I have the power to win this game
>>673560431
but it is covered in razor blades
I have the power to make anyone a cuck
>>673560423
Because you have taken that title from him.
>>673560179
but you become enlightened and no longer have earthly desires
>>673560664
But you can only win the game by having sex with a black man
>>673560130
Once you jump into a picture all memories of you outside of the picture become destroyed
>>673560664
The game never ends.
>>673560753
Picture? What? I'm lost
>>673560664
Only you think that, no one else does. Btw 2 off go kill yourself
I can materialize a cup of perfect tea any time.
>>673557441
But you're completely immune to the thc
I have the power to bring back Moot and Snacks
I have the power of a Chad, every woman wants me.
>>673560680
You can't spell properly so you accidentally turn anyone into a cock instead
>>673560973
It never actually comes in a cup. So it just falls on the floor.
>>673561008
Wat
I have the power to make earth a beautiful, friendly and happy place.
>>673560994
They will still be faggots.
>>673561008
My sides
>>673561007
Any sexual interaction turns you back into a basement dwelling neckbeard
>>673560680
By implanting in their brain the false memory that you are their lover, and then getting ass fucked in front of them.
>>673561113
Hitler is reborn
>>673560893
i just picked something out of my "funny" folder because pics up your chance to get a (You)
Guess I gotta delete that one because it's dumb.
Tastes change a lot in five years.
>>673561007
But you have no desire for women
>>673561113
But everyone gets cancer at 12
>>673561113
but the sun's size will increase 1.5x every time you change something.
>>673561113
But you cant live in this paradise
>>673561218
your point being?
>>673561230
Ahhh nice. Got cha
>>673561218
way to be redundant
>>673561007
Every woman over 102
Enjoy faggot
>>673558350
The first time you get laid you get AIDS
>>673561113
But someone reads a book, makes a book club, and all the people who join the book club worship all the protagonists
I have the power to change any law and taboo, and make people think it was always that way.
My mum never catches me using her credit card to buy csgo skins.
I have the power to make every thread on /b/ now read in the sound of my voice.
>>673556963
I can fly
>>673561535
You can only buy MLP skins.
>>673561007
Every chad has the same power over you.
I can do anything multiple times avoiding the consequences.
>>673561534
You'll no longer desire to commit that taboo or break that law.
Fucking pedo.
>>673559018
While using this ability you are paralyzed
>>673561607
You turn into a 6 year old irl whenever this power is active.
>>673561635
But only when you have anchors attached to your ankles.
>>673561635
Only inside your home.
>>673561607
But the only person that populates /b/ is the hacker 4chan
>>673561534
You have no desire to change anything.
>>673561635
You have intense vertigo
>>673561687
Every time you go for a repeat, you get transfered back in time to the original point of you doing something.
>>673559814
Kek
>>673561421
Nice! Just how I like them. Old and stinky
>>673561353
He did...nothing wrong?
>>673561258
No desire for women, but they are 102?
You can magically pet cats in a 2 mile radius.
>>673561795
My fucking sides
>>673561534
Every time you want to change a law you must lick man ass on national television and a few am radio stations
>>673559717
But your dick has no sensitivity/ feeling meaning you can never get enjoyment from sex
>>673561920
You have a 50% chance to pet some hobo's ass instead of a cat.
I can stump the Trump.
I can git gud at any video game I want
>>673562171
BLM protesters rob your valuables every day saying it's stolen from them anyway.
>>673562171
be realistic
>>673562171
You are a literal tree stump.
>>673562171
5 years after he died naturally
>>673562247
Everybody else stop playing and even recognizing those games.
>>673562247
You lose all hand functionality for 3 hours after 5 minutes of playing
>>673562247
But you feel the pain of chilldbirth everytime you get near a pc or console
>>673561607
Fvcking workes anon
>>673562533
But never far enough to fix your typos.
>>673562533
You can't control how far you go back in time
>>673562533
But I can only use it to fuck with my own posts on b
>>673562533
And can only leave when you create a new civilization.
I can create a homunculus.
I can create any food I want with my mind, and it will always be edible.
I can turn anything into gold
>>673562742
It eats you.
>>673558711
The economy would be thrown into utter chaos making ten million useless
>>673562533
But the rapper TI has no interest in you.
>>673556963
>tfw you're oc is geposten
>>673562777
New metal is found thats better than gold in every possible way.
>>673562755
You have no mouth
>>673562742
They attack you viciously
>>673562755
Even one gram of this food makes you feel so full you can no longer eat
>>673562755
But it doesn't actually feed you and you die of hunger
>>673562777
But you turn to gold as well
>>673562777
Anyone can turn it back to what it was
>>673562892
Gold better than silver every way silver still pretty valuable
>>673560127
Seppuku*
>>673562777
Every time you turn something into gold your pet dies.
>>673563144
baitu
>>673562755
You can only create it in microscopic portions.
Once every 10 minutes.
>>673559018
You are horribly depressed.
I can make new meme become popular all over the world.
The power to make any animal bend to my will
>>673562777
The gold is immediately given to people who bullied you in school
>>673559717
It reeks of shit.
>>673563246
It won't be dank
>>673563246
The banana is the only thing you can see for the rest of your life
>>673563286
They literally bend, getting their bones broken, tissue fucked up and die.
>>673563286
No human wants to be near you
>>673563286
This only works on one animal for 5 minutes.
>>673560521
He would have bottomless pockets then...
I become the big rat, that makes all da rules
>>673559699
That's redundant. This is 4chan, he already has aspergers. Does he have SUPER ASPERGERS?
>>673563393
But bent to whatever shape i want?
I'll take it
>>673563555
Exterminators become giants.
Power to walk through walls no matter what material
>>673563528
>bottomless pockets
How much shit would you really want to carry in your pockets.
>>673560521
>The power to die in the pool whilst the ladder is out
>>673563713
You can't control when it turns off and on, meaning you can get stuck inside walls and die.
>>673563555
The Mayan treasure is never yours.
>>673563713
You cannot choose when to stop walking through everything. You fall through the Earth's crust and burn to death in the core.
>>673563713
But every time you do it you shit your pants
>>673559838
But they don't like you
>>673560688
lmao
>>673563713
You cant run, or travel by any means faster than walking speed.
Telekinesis
>>673562247
You get so gud at the games that everyone just quits playing, leaving you stranded in empty servers.
I can make my dick to grow up
>>673563919
Kill yourself
>>673563994
But in turn your Balls shrink
>>673563907
I like me, therefore...
>>673563970
whenever you try to move something the rest of the universe moves along with it
>>673563994
2 inches max
The power to take shits that don't stink
>>673564142
Takes forever to wipe them
>>673563994
Your dick ages at a horrific rate. It ages by three years every day.
>>673564142
The turd are so big it makes you feel as if you've been fucked by a train.
>>673563970
You can only move tigers
>>673563994
You are never satisfied with its size and end up with 13.7 billion miles schlong
>>673564142
But the shits can't be flushed, so you clog up every toilet you use, no matter the size of aformentioned toilet.
>>673564215
Fucking lmao.
>>673561113
All the suffering you prevent is instead inflicted on you.
>>673564132
That's still cool then
>>673563970
Kek
>>673564364
If shit didn't stink, would a clogged toilet be that bad?
>>673556963
>I can change traffic lights at my will
But you're being gangstalked and tracked by the Illuminati along with thwir dogs
Bernie Sanders becomes my bitch.
>>673563555
whatever you say, trips
>>673564514
You become a tumblrfag who can't say anything but MUH PATRIARCHY
>>673564514
Bernie also wins the election
i can kill god
>>673564514
But he dies
>>673558350
but none of you will ever get an orgasm
>>673564514
If you're a nigger, that's redundant.
Otherwise:
But he loses every time he tries at something.
>>673556963
You can get dubs whenever you want but you have to awkwardly overexplain yourself in every post you make... Oh wait
>>673564643
There is no god
>>673564643
people beat you to death for heresy
>>673564643
But you must become God first
>>673564643
there is no god
>>673564643
God isn't real therefore your power is useless.
I can become God.
Make all niggers dissappear
>>673564832
You instantly cease to exist
The power to not have a flawed power
Shitskins become the dominant race on Earth.
>>673564891
KeK
>>673564844
You're 1% nigger
>>673564844
You become a nigger when using this power.
>>673564844
They reappear in your apartment.
I can make everyone check my 7
>>673564142
You can't control when you shit
>>673564899
Your power becomes encyclopedic knowledge of the scents of different strains of sunflower, with no obvious downside
I can kill all SJWs and feminists at any time I want.
>>673564994
You never get any 7.
>>673564899
You techcnically have no power since every power can be flawed in some way.
>>673565114
technically*
>>673565042
You instantly inherit only their thoughts
>>673565042
Then they become ghosts and will be always under your bedroom
>>673565042
You kill them all, but you want more. You break down as your power is now rendered useless
>>673565216
thats the opposite of "theoretically"
>>673565114
>can
Not will
>encyclopedic knowledge of sunflower seeds it is then
I can drop it like its hot.
>>673565346
Uselessness is a flaw. You have no superpower.
>>673559717
But only when it's flaccid
>>673565477
Always choose not to.
>>673565477
It's so hot that it burns through the earth
Power to not die until I choose to.
>>673559018
but you have to masturbate with sandpaper
>>673565042
But doing so has the knock-on effect of rallying people to their cause
I know why do kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
>>673559700
so stop wasting everyones time and do it faggot.
power to be able to ball so hard
>>673565761
You are constantly depressed and wish for suicide
>>673565761
That's called suicide.
>>673565806
You can never touch the godly cereal again
>>673565830
Your balls are literally cement and you need a crane to support them wherever you go.
>>673560494
But you can still hear them screaming no matter how far you are away from them
>>673565830
You lose both your balls and the ability to get hard
>>673565830
No one wants you
>>673565830
The ball doesn't bounce
>>673565830
Niggas constantly cross you.
>>673565761
You choose to never die and eventually become horribly crippled through old age and live a never-ending life of pain
>>673565830
Every time I use this power, one of your balls is consumed
>>673558711
Your cards dont work
Become MLG tournie pro and absolute credit to team, make megabux playing vidya
power to become a majestic freedom eagle
>>673563713
You clothes don't pass through with you
I never suffer any damage, no matter how hard i fall.
>>673566135
You can only make youtube videos with you overreacting to FNAF
>>673566163
You are Donald Trump's majestic freedom eagle.
>>673566135
Hands fall off for long periods of time.
>>673566135
You become a faggot
>>673566135
You are crippled.
>>673566184
still useful
>>673566220
You are a flea.
>>673566220
You can't get up
>>673557100
But the definition of trips is changed into having, at least, one even number in the last three digits of your post number and you can only have even post numbers from now on
>>673566220
You always get hurt when someone else falls
>>673566220
Suffer the damage after you get up.
I can sell you this pen.