alright, I used to start these threads a few years ago, and I've been away, but I'll give it a shot again tonight.
be prepared to back your claim up, if not with photos, then by answering questions in detail.
-----
I once had a job in which I managed the overnight operations of one of the world's most lucrative websites. I now work in a Dollar store.
I am not even fucking trolling.
my cock is 29.4 cm when hard
OP here.....there have been some great claims made and virtually proven in these threads over the years.....
like the anon that won olympic gold in swimming
>>673109545
>be me 6 years old
>have a this girl a bit old than me (8 i think)
>we used to do some weird oral sex on each other behind my house
>3 years ago i met her again at college
>she didn't say it but by her face she remembered everything we used to do
>cringe.jpg
>now we're dating for about 2 and a half years
>>673110275
pics?
I have a third tit.
when i was 4 my cousin was 5 and she used to blow me and my friend
>>673110383
i don't think any pics can prove this, but believe it or not it's all true.
>>673110275
that's incredibly hard to believe.
odd she could go from cringeing to dating you?
Had sex with Jennifer Lawrence when we were teens. She was ugly then.
I am god.
>>673109545
Fine, I'll bite. How did you fall so far, bro?
My outrageous claims: I'm 49 years old and I have fucked over 400 women. Right now, I have a 19 yr old and a 22 yr old that are trying to make shit get serious. Just broke up with a 36 yr old. Also: I've killed wild boar with a knife on several occasions.
I run a blog about one of the most popular celebrities in the world. This person visits my blog regularly and I might have influence over them now, because there are a lot of blogs about them, but none like mine. If I named the person you would not believe me.
>>673110610
well after some time talking the cringe just goes alway... we were childhood friends after all
>>673110822
advice on getting laid?
>>673110822
advice on getting laid that much? does it get better as you age?
>>673110822
got laid off during a downsize....I had to move out of NYC to go back home far away. didn't own a car and gained a lot of weight. all i could get was a retail job. recently i got a car and got in much better shape. not giving up.
>>673110822
Joe?
i had the good type of threesome last year at college now the two girls are in a relationship, and a serious one. i feel like my dick played cupid that day
>>673110915
here's a weird question - the first time you got intimate as adults....was there a familiarity with her body?
>>673111075
Be fearless, man. Ask. Put yourself out there and fuck the comfort zone. I've gotten phone numbers by asking girls in traffic. Or in McDonalds or wherever.
Don't let rejection get you down. If you're American, think of it like baseball: the best hitters have like a 40% success rate, and damn good ones are at 30%. Don't let a 70% rejection rate get you down.
Be bold, be funny, be confident and it'll happen every time. This 22 yr old was supposed to be a diversion but now she's falling for me.
>>673111387
sounds fun but I'd be kinda sad that they decided they'd prefer other pussy over me.
>>673111387
Kek, good job anon.
>>673110046
For semi-oldfags:
Remember Barcelona'92? At the opening ceremony, Antonio Rebollo lit the big torch at the stadium with his bow and burning arrows.
Well, I was the one who pressed the button so the torch lighted. Rebollo failed the shoot.
>>673111201
See: >>673111487
>>673111266
sorry to hear that man. Getting back on your feet now I hope:
>>673111277
Nope, I'm not Joe
>>673109545
I am left handed but throw right handed, hazel eyed, and INTP. Also I'm not a sperg I am just weird.
>>673110437
Tits or GTFO
This time out of curiosity
i like anime
>>673110437
I demand proof.
>>673111543
they both asked me if i wanted to do it again a few weeks ago so i mean it kind of makes it feel less of that way, but i said no because they have scary toys now and i dont wanna be on the receiving end of them, literally
>>673111394
I saw that guy on a train in London
>tfw no pics
I can't stop getting dubs.
>>673111899
WITNESSED
>>673110517
But we still want to see how hot she is.
>>673111899
OH SHIT NIGGA
>>673110822
I believe the sex claim.
I'm early 40's and not overly attractive and have been with about as many women. Really it's only 1-2 different girls a month, not hard to keep that average if you are always looking.
The wild boar claim?
Unless they were already in traps not buying it, those motherfuckers are fast strong and aggressive.
>>673109545
I'm not a virgin.
I have an IQ of over 160. AS a child, I was recognized as "gifted." At the time, I had an Intelligence Quotient of over 180. Pic related, all personal info is blurred out for privacy reasons.
>>673111075
Real shit just be confident and a little cocky get a fuck it attitude but stay a gentleman and you get more ass than a cheap whore
>>673111487
I've heard that "batting average" argument before. there's a movie director named James Toback who isnt good looking at all, but he used to be a pro gambler and he realized in the 80s that if he literally hit on every attractive woman that he saw (that seemed single), he'd be certain to bang some of them.
unfortunately for him, there was a gossip magazine that wrote an article about it and his game was cramped a bit.
>>673111899
>>673111955
>>673112011
Fucking checked.
>>673112040
so you became dumber?
>>673111899
>>673111955
>>673112011
WHAT THE FUCK????
>>673111899
I can't stop getting trips.
>>673110685
i dont think so. she's at least above average.
>>673111644
That's pretty neat if true.
>>673110822
Tyler
my cat eats my earwax
>>673112271
Not the guy who posted but IQ will drop with age just by not being in school and taking a lot of standardized tests.
Also IQ tests are notoriously unreliable, particularly for higher scores.
I was tested 3 times under controlled conditions in high school and had a 44 point spread between the three.
>>673112084
he never stopped doing it either.....
http://gawker.com/5506842/sleazy-film-director-james-tobacks-underage-pick-up-attempt
also, he wasn't just hitting on them, he was promising to make them stars, because he was a legit director.
>>673111671
Knew a guy that fit your description pretty damned close, he showed me this black bear pelt from a bear he killed with a bow in south america, was pretty well built for his age though I'm pretty sure he was juicing
>>673112403
Wtf is average? Before this I never saw Jennifer Lawrence as remotely attractive.
interesting thread. 10/10 would lurk again
Ill bite
Ive been fucked by both my brother and one of my dad's girlfriends' daughter all before the age of 12
>>673112040
ive always wanted to take an IQ test
What sort of questions are on them?
any complex math equations and im fucked
I always lie.
>>673109545
I am probably the messiah
>>673111644
was the shot supposed to land in the cauldron? or fly over a gas stream that ignites the cauldron?
it looked like the latter
>>673112271
Not necessarily. You see, the test that I was given as a kid tested specific subjects that were advanced to a child. The actual IQ test covers a wider range of material, hence my lower score. Scores of over 145 are considered "genius." Therefore, I am scientifically classified as a genius.
>be prepared to back your claim up, if not with photos, then by answering questions in detail.
Not a single faggot in here can back up anything they've said. 1/10 thread. Had potential too.
>>673112438
It is. Actually, Rebollo failed on purpose and we knew he was going to.
The cerimony was followed by more than 600 milion people around the world. I don't have to tell how nervous I was.
>>673112686
"average" means around 50% of the female population (minus fatties) is more attractive or less attractive.
>>673112709
>
I bet you're easy, a great lay, and a fucking psycho to date now, right?
Type I am repeatedly attracted to for some reason, it's like I can smell the bent from across a crowded room.
>>673112980
I don't feel like I'm damaged because of it. As far as I know, I don't have any mental illnesses or have ever had any because of it. but go on.
I've been the only guy in a foursome, I once knocked out two guys in a row for being way inappropriate with my ex
My friends and I once crashed a funeral by mistake and had to escape a swiftly formed angry mob in a mini van
>>673113306
Sexualized at an early age by people who broke serious boundaries (in addition to age) in the process?
That had to leave some pretty deep marks.
>>673110842
I know exactly who you are referring to. It's pretty easy to figure out, really.
I've had drake sing me happy birthday before. I jerked off an airplane next to some muzzie that didnt speak english and he noticed and said some dune rune shit at me.
Luke Skywalker is still out there somewhere.
I was chased down an alley by 30 to 40 midgets.
>>673112031
We track the boars with hounds, and "catch dogs" hold them when the hounds bay. You have to wade into a dog / hog fight and decide whether to take the hog or let it go. Either way it gets hairy, can't risk shooting a dog. If you're taking the hog, knife is easier. And while the dogs help, we're all really close to death in that moment. It's not like I just stab a pig being held down. I have dozens of vids of the operation. Brutal, I know. But the wild pigs are a menace around here and even the local authorities are asking people to take them out.
>>673112763
All I can really offer is that most standard IQ tests contain logic problems as well as comprehension questions. The test I took contained a sufficient amount of reasoning and "Find the pattern" sorts of questions. There are not necessarily "complex equations," but many problems require a certain thought process to solve.
Hitler did nothing wrong.
>>673113560
yea, I bet it did you poor thing. Show me your tits
>>673113560
Not really. Both times they were around the same age as me, so I didn't really feel violated or anything. I guess its still fucked up due to the circumstances, but I never thought much of it until later on
>>673112668
I'm well built but aging. Never juiced. Thank you for the comparison, tho
I've played an orchestra concert at the main piazza in Florence (pic related).
We played in the building under the crane, and there were about 2000 people in the piazza watching the concert. It was a hell of a lot of fun
>>673112084
I have a better real life story for you...
When I was in my mid-twenties I rolled with 2 other dude on the regular. I am good looking and was just starting to make some real money. Dude 1 was even better looking and mega-loaded. Dude 2 was a fucking riot, but he looked like a leprechaun. We all cleaned house nearly every weekend. On those times where dude 1 or I didn't, dude 2 always did. Why? Because we used our looks and when things didn't work, there wasn't really a plan. Dude two just talked to every hot girl in the entire place. He was really funny to almost everyone and super likeable. He also didn't care about girls saying no. He just thanked them and moved on. Over maybe 3 years, here's a no shit percentage breakdown of time we attempted to get laid. Me - 80%, Dude 1 - 85%, dude 2 - easily 95%. Me and dude 1 talked about it all the time. We had looks, he had no fear. Try it out.
>>673113814
Mensa is the one that requires a background in specific math classes to pass, not IQ tests.
>>673113870
You're probably nothing crazy to yourself but if we got a glimpse of your fuck-life we'd probably be fapping furiously at the fucked-up-ed-ness of it
>>673113946
Too ez 2 believe this thread isn't even trying ffs
I was woken up just after going to bed at 4 am at a hotel we were staying at in Richmond VA to get blown by a hooker that my buddy bought me. Got tested months later, nothinnnnnn.
I met McNulty from the wire in a hed shop in Manchester. He was buying a stash lighter. My mate told him I loved Fred West.
Killed a kid in Central America in 1985 while in Army. It was me or him.
>>673113723
That makes sense.
Be easier to trap them but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Hopefully the hog issue will get taken seriously enough state governments will start paying real money on them and hunting can become a lucrative profession again.
>>673113863
I was responding to someone else you no reading comprehension fucking retard.
I had just fapped to a famous YouTuber, then 2 weeks later recognized her, approached her, and tooks pics with her at a rave.
>>673114119
Well that's about as interesting as it gets for me. I think it's pretty cool because I was 16 at the time
>>673114088
Honestly the only thing fucked up about me is the porn I have, but that's true for most of us here anyhow. Honestly I think I'm as normal as anyone here
>>673114032
Fuckin' right. (I'm the 49 yr old). One trick I always use with the hot girl and her entourage is to hit on one of the chicks with her. Hot girl CANNOT STAND that she's not the center of attention. If I hit on hot girl, she'd shoot me down. If I hit on her homely friend and ignore her, hot girl will get at me 90% of the time. IGNORE THE HOT GIRL. The mediocre ones with her need a boost of self esteem and a bro gets laid. Really, it's not that difficult.
>>673113860
He was vegitarian, didn't drink booze, and lost the war....
was at canawide dispensary the other week picking up weed and snoop dawg was there with members of the wu tang clan
I've helped murder an entire when I was a soldier to the USSR. Probably kill 80 people.
ive been renting cars for years to deliver pizzas. i dont even own a car. i save all receipts and write off everything for maximum tax savings.
i shit like pic related
>>673114317
A fair point, sir. I'm in GA. You?
>>673114100
oops, replied to the wrong dude. youll find my reply at some point
>>673109545
My grandpa was really close friends with Adolf Hitler.
>>673114661
FUCK,
* I helped murder an entire village
I think socialism would work.
I was homeless for several years in my early teens, lived on the streets, ate in rescue missions, the whole 9. Turned it all around, determined never to go hungry again, and eventually worked my way up to 6 figure salaries, trusted positions in hedge funds and the like on the east coast, and rubbing elbows with people you see in the news every day.
There are folks all over wall street and even in DC who know me and would count me a friend, people you see on the news every day - and who have literally no idea about just how humble my origins really are.
>>673109545
I was a concert violinist at the age of twelve and have been on several international tours with major orchestras as the concert master.
Quit music because I was an angry youth who was convinced that if I could do that, I could do anything I set my mind to.
I'm now in my 30's, working as a substitute teacher barely scraping by and pretty much wish for death every second of every day.
>>673109969
Proof faggot
i sometimes get dubs
>>673114479
Once I singled out a guy because I was vaguely unimpressed at his claim. But in actuality I didn't even care at the time. Then he responded, and I felt bad for what I did. Imagine that, despite the anonymity of the internet actually giving a shit about your fellow human. Is this believable? You FUCKS. HERE IS MY SOUL, YOU CAN HAVE IT. I NEED IT IT WHEN I HAVE MY FEELS
>>673114895
like right now
>>673114661
>I've helped murder an entire
>>673114032
Personally, I need money to have confidence. not riches, but enough money to know I have options in a situation.
of course, I don't have a good job.
>>673114874
fuck dude...i know this would blow your anonymity but id love to hear any recordings if theyre out there
>>673114723
Louisiana
Not in the area the hogs are bad but I've gone with a couple of friends, they trap them instead of running dogs at them, they hate having to shoot a dog.
>>673112467
Nope I'm not Tyler, but a Tyler knows me well..
>>673113932
He seemed like a pretty cool guy, easy to have a conversation with, lots of cool stories. Thought I'd heard he had some depression issues... do you deal with anything like that? Do you have kids, ever been married? Feel alone n shit?
>>673114902
>giving a shit about your fellow humans
at least make it believable next time, kek
>>673110692
Which God?
I was employee #12 in a startup that recently had an IPO. I made a lot of money. They had all these people come and tell us what to do with it. I cashed it all out, moved to another city, got another job and haven't told a soul.
>>673115090
is there anyone who even reaches those sorts of numbers who aren't ballsdeep in PUA/RSD culture
>>673115325
yes
>>673110822
And then you woke up.
>>673109545
I guilted my mom into blowing me. Had to go get shot at in Iraq, but TANSTAAFL.
I fucked Jade Raymond, she is an old model and was CEO for one of the biggest Ubisoft studio. She's known as the only (hot) girl of video game industry.
She can't suck dick
I think Trump will be a great President.
>>673114032
This I'm 36 tall and skinny as a rail bald with what was red hair. I am ugly as sin but I am always smiling and having a good time with life> I get shot down so many times I just don't fucking care about once a month I bag a hottie
I once found a gargoyle in a desolate NYC subway station at 3am. i took this photo.
it is the regret of my life that I didn't take it and keep it, but honestly, it could had been a bomb.
I post on an anime image board all day without moving.
I am the man with worst first time experiences in the world.
>The first time I drank alcohol I ended up in the hospital.
>I lost my virginity with a hooker.
>The first time I took the car out to a party I ended up crushing into the side-road while coming home.
>The police saw the crushed car and did me an alcohol test. My first alcohol test. I tested positive.
>The first time I did a party trip I used my credit card to spend 240€ on hookers and got my wallet stolen later. It was the first day of the trip and survived as I could the rest of it without money. It also was the first time I had and used a credit card.
And so on.
>>673114100
Honestly the only thing fucked up about me is the porn I have, but that's true for most of us here anyhow. Honestly I think I'm as normal as anyone here
>>673115086
All our dogs are rescues and we never shoot them unless they're mortally injured. We knife the hogs or put a .22 in their ear. Dogs are injured often, but they're remarkably well trained and they all dodged certain death in some shelter. I'm an animal lover, and don't feel bad at all for these dogs. They got a better life and a mission and shit.
Technically still in High School, but whatever I'll try. Got a 34 on the ACT at 15, went to a college program for high schoolers at 16, and dropped acid twice during the year.
In the future I wake up in a Bugatti.
>>673115478
>Jade Raymond
wow she's damn hot
how were you in a position to meet her?
>>673115067
Very few recordings, I don't have any of them. They were always full orchestra things, usually on a random leg of the tour--no better than bootleg quality, single mic at the back of random concert hall deal. Nothing impressive at all.
My #1 influence was a violinist named Gil Shaham. I never got as good as he is, but if you want an idea of what I was working to become, check out his stuff.
I am a head moderater of a default subreddit.
>>673109545
When in my teens I was working in a big accounting firm as a summer job, they had a horrible system in giving permissions to workers (one permission would take about 15 minutes)
I made a search engine program that made it so that you could give permissions in 15 seconds. They have to this day saved millions becouse of this.
Here is the claim: they wont give me a fucking job.
>>673113696
>I was chased down an alley by 30 to 40 midgets.
Are you the fat guy from Jackass?
>>673115364
Dude, I'm 40-fucking-9 years old. I was married for a long time. But do the math: If a guy can't get a different chick every two weeks, he's doing it wrong. I've fucked 6 different girls in the last 2 weeks alone. By the time I hit 50, I'll be over 500.
>>673115795
Kill yourself faggot. It's probably true and you are part of cancer. You can end the cancer by drowning yourself in cock. Reddit makes me reeeeeeeee. But actually keep up the good work reddit is kinda in a semblance to some of what was once good about 4chan. But some parts of it are definitive cancer
>>673115758
thats a shame. I used to play the violin myself, still involved in music though
do you still play?
>>673115966
Kek, no.
>>673114661
A whole entire? Damn...
>>673113696
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jYANWR5XTM&channel=UCY5SG1MXWGKGOEIRUhr0bZA
>>673116025
where's your favorite place to find chicks? surely not the bar scene
>>673115742
Working at Ubisoft
>>673116068
I mod one of the ones that is universally liked.
>>673116080
I got very into other instruments toward the end of my professional career, and it's become a hobby now. I like to buy instruments I don't know how to play and see what happens. I can't play the sitar at all, but I certainly own a sitar and can make some neat sounds with it.
But no, not violin. I think that if I can get my professional life back on track, I'm going to try to play again, but (at the expense of sounding like a puss) I can't handle it emotionally right now, when I'm poor.
>>673115364
I don't think of it as PUA or RSD culture. I like what I like and I'm not afraid to try for it. And I don't fear rejection. In reality, I hope to find the right kinky bitch of appropriate age and settle down and fuck like rabbits for the rest of our lives. But women are fucking crazy and if 20-somethings with daddy issues want to throw their junk at me while I look for that, I'll fucking take it. Tell me you wouldn't do the same.....
I set a small forest on fire
I also seen one of my friends die when I was 16
A President asked me to dance with her 2 times. On both occasions I said no.
I once accomplished a legitimate no wipe shit, it was amazing. Also taking a massive dump in a large body of water feels amazing.
I punched a famous minecraft youtuber when I was drunk with my friend one day. I then proceeded to to hide in a nearby forest for a few days. I was wanted For a month or so.
I got harassed by the queen of cringe herself, deoxyrebornicleic.
>>673116348
Bar scene is easier than you'd think (see my previous posts about the hot girl vs. her entourage) but online dating is the way to do it these days. I swear, it's like ordering a fucking pizza: you get what you want if you play it right.
>>673116935
>deoxyrebornicleic
Who?
>>673116947
Never gotten hookups from bars where I live. Tinder was a gold mine back when I used it, got 50 chicks from there.
>>673115561
You are 17
>>673116935
obviously this faggot is saying deoxys the reborn cleric
>>673116738
>no wipe shit
if you eat really strictly, it's not that uncommon.
my shitting achievement was having a high-fiber breakfast and walking around NYC all-day long, including a big lunch at Chipotle.
here's what made it legendary....because of the fiber breakfast, the giant shit I took after Chipotle was a no-wipe shit.....and a no leak shit......
>>673115209
Fuck yeah, I'm depressed as hell most days. This lifestyle isn't for the faint-of-heart. No kids, which was a choice I made long ago. Long term marriage that failed. So yeah. I can tell you how to fuck hot bitches but can't tell you how to have a fulfilling life and shit.
>>673115883
fuckin sucks bro
>>673109545
ya it doesn't make sense but neither does some floaty guy in the sky making shit out of nowhere (tips fedora)
>>673110822
Killing a wild boar is not that hard I go pigging all the time
My ex-girlfriend's mother just sent me a friend request on fapbook. My ex absolutely hates me, but her mother is real kind so I accepted it.
Dubs decides what I message her, make it kek worthy
>>673117600
shit wrong thread
>>673117273
There ya go. 50 is a good number, if you're into that sort of thing. Tinder is interesting, isn't it?
>>673117618
Thanks for the add
>>673117426
dude youre getting laid all the time and youre still depressed as shit? theres no hope for the rest of us
>>673109545
I threw a bunch of rocks at a unexploded missile.
Was promptly attacked by bees.
Survived.
>>673117609
Didn't claim it was hard, brah. But to many people, it's outrageous. Congrats, kill / eat as many of the fucking things as you can.
>>673110822
do you post on RSD?
>>673113412
Underrated post that needs to be greentexted
I'm 27 yo, I've fucked 21 girls, 9 of them only once, 10 just a couple of times, only 2 steady gf, all of them got pregnant with my child. Most of the time I used condom, all except one of my gf aborted.
Apparently I'm super fertile, I got a vasectomy last year.
>>673117618
Hey, how's (ex)? :)
>>673109545
I killed a man with thus thumb
>>673117384
I have a meat and alcohol diet, most days it's alcoholic diarrhea shits.
>>673117335
20 actually
>>673118185
Nope. I'm familiar but have never posted there. I will if you'd like. I have lots of advice to share, if that's your thing.
>>673118533
youve impregnanted TWENTY ONE girls?!?!!!!!!
>>673115478
>She can't suck dick
I can support this claim. Mind you, I've never been with Jade Raymond but it seems that amongst really attractive women the sex is somewhat...mediocre.
We can attribute this to the fact that as since they are so commonly the object of desire, the concept of 'effort' in the bedroom with these women is somewhat foreign.
The best sex I've ever had is with 'okay/cute' girls.
I'm the 49 yr old with 400+ bitches and kills wild boars and shit. I have to bounce but any of you fuckers want to stay in touch, feel free: takinurpic at gmail
>>673117618
meant for this to be a thread on its own lmao
>>673117426
>I can tell you how to fuck hot bitches but can't tell you how to have a fulfilling life and shit.
Guy gets mad pussy. Doesn't help with the depression, the void is still there.
There's no winning.
>>673118566
Kek
>>673112040
these scores mean nothing without the standard deviation of the specific test. also, from what i've heard, most children's iq tests cap out around 150-160.
>>673110685
She's still ugly
>>673118880
Yes. Fortunately most of them felt too young to have a child and knew I was no father material. In 2 cases, I actually found out because of mutual friends.
>>673110437
Tit? Or nipple? Extra nipple are common I have 2 extra
i was in a car crash in high school with three friends. i was the only one that lived. wasn't even hurt that badly. wasn't wearing my seat belt, got thrown through the windshield, landed lucky.
>>673120427
jesus christ.
>>673114721
lol
>>673111673
Whst about this is outrageous or ridiculous?
I am the world authority on a particular field of academic research.
Admittedly, a very, very obscure and narrow field, but the world authority all the same.
>>673116798
I really really want this to be true
>>673121127
the fact they're a sperg and are semi-aware, yet still in denial
>>673120883
I'm not saying young like underage, it all happend during college/master with girls with academic background who felt that a child would fuck their professional life.
At 16 i owned my own business in joint with my father, he got bored so we stopped
>>673121162
Adam?
>>673111644
I believe it. I remember noticing that the shot didn't look like it made it, and someone pointed out to me that having a push-button fail safe was just common sense.
>>673113412
Story time Plz
>>673118533
>super fertile
Lmao
>>673109545
I failed my GED, but then passed it in the same day without taking the test again. same score. it was a failed score. i have my GED without having to take the test again.
>>673114197
Greentext please sir
>>673115677
I no joke got a 35 (I was incredibly disappointed and thought long and hard on a retake) on the ACT at 15, but didn't take part in the early college meme because I liked being normal and because I was an only child so my parents wanted to keep me all to themselves. I grew up in a rural area so the only college within an hour drive was a shitty meme community college. I was pushed into going there so they could see me more often, and it basically fucked my education to the point where I genuinely cannot probably into six digits now without redoing everything.
>>673122312
I can see why you failed your GED because this was undecipherable to me.
>>673122807
I failed by 2 points, then the GED administration made the pass score 5 points less, therefore, i passed by failing.
>>673122312
Explain this retarded post GEDfailure
>>673122807
Nobody talks like that you pretentious piece of shit
>>673114151
Which head shop
>>673109545
im 25 and have a liquid net worth of around $300k. This includes real estate investments, and stocks.
>>673115542
>>673113583
I'm too high to figure it out. Help?
>>673123144
kek, his only big word was incorrect, is indecipherable not un.
>>673120663
It's always handy to have spares.
>>673115358
Smart move there
>>673123144
nobdy talks like that ur stuck up looser
>>673115464
Idk what thst acronym means but tell the blowjob story, then the getting shot at stories
As much as I can say that answering questing in detail won't prove anything, here goes.
I'm a borderline psycopath and my family and friends have no idea.
>>673112936
can you get into it a bit more?
>>673109545
I did coke with Lindsay Lohan.
I grew up knowing no language but Attic Greek and Classical Latin until the age of 15.
Even now I still can recite like 10 pages of the Iliad and a large number of stanzas from the Aeneid.
>>673124063
Where were you raised?
>>673109545
You worked at an Amazon warehouse and phrased it like you were a bigshot and now you work in a place where you can't make it sound good at all. Congrats on consistently sucking.
>>673111899
>>673111955
>>673112011
This is now a dubs thread.
>>673109545
I had a supporting role in an HBO miniseries and various other roles, believe me or not but if u have any questions about it ask away
>>673116619
Car crash?
>>673109545
I went into the US Army, stayed in the army for 8 years and didn't deploy once, and it wasn't because I deployment dodged either.
I can turn invisible, as long as no one is looking at my body, even myself.
>>673124194
In the Hellespont, actually. My parents apparently were part of the priesthood of Hellenes, a pseudo-serious 100% autistic remake at Ancient Greek religion. Pagan and all that. They were both Americans actually, and they raised me and privately tutored me in a "classical" education
>>673115616
How do you train them?
>>673116639
Never had a female president nice try troll go back under your bridge
I'm an Eagle Scout
Found a dead body when I was about 15 in the woods. I pissed on it and then left. Didn't really realize until I was home what really happened.
Bullied a girl in middle school and she attempted suicide, in the hospital for about a week. I laughed my ass off.
>>673124063
thats pretty damn cool, plus your English seems fine
>>673114509
> as normal as anyone here
Implying
>>673117618
Hey I've been thinking about you recently how are you?
>>673124813
Just wondering, because no one is raised speaking attic greek and latin.
At least now, you know some weird shit.
>>673110842
is that you, UTV archiver?
>>673114552
Let's see you do better!
>>673124428
Do you prefer water or juice?
>>673124428
who u
>>673120759
Who was driving? What seat were you in? Whyd they crash,
>>673109545
I'm a virgin
>>673125565
Water in all cases besides apple juice, that shits gud
I kill a girl I was in love with a few months ago. Will never forget her. Will never kill another girl.
>>673109545
I was once thrown out of prison.
There's a Wikipedia article about me.
I am a published author.
>>673125720
No need to prove that.
I'm dating a 45 year old man. It's not about the money I legit just like the way older men look. We have been living together for 2 1/2 years (I'm 21)
>>673123545
Not even that guy but they are both correct, un or in
>>673109545
I've translated 5 previously untranslated texts, including the Voynich Manuscript and the Issyk kul inscription.
I'll be famous one day.
>>673112031
He could be Kiwi, they go pigging with dogs and knives.
>>673123842
A lot of people are psychopaths . Why do you think this is outrageous or unbelievable? One of my best buddies is a psychopath, it's weird because I don't think he knows
>>673123938
For a blowjob
>>673114661
Чечня?
I have mod powers.
spam was safer. liked a bacon flavor.
Okay, maybe not really interesting but...
I once discovered who phone was. I've been sworn to secrecy or face certain death.
>>673109545
I have learned the meaning of life, it took me a little over four years but I managed and I am stunned by it. Nevertheless it knowledge people are rarely capable of understanding from my experience
>>673112040
Dane?
My Great Great Great Grandfather was one of top 10 richest men in American History. ~
~$85 Billion Dollars
>Im broke as fuck though
I have Dubs
>>673126401
Who was phone?
>>673125862
Thrown out of prison for what?
>>673115742
Wow.....she's average as fuck.
>>673126163
Bullshit bullshit. What's the manuscript say?
I have dreams that come true
>>673126658
Mom was phone
>>673126549
What drug?
I've had sex.
With a woman.
Multiple Times.
I came.
She came.
>beat that.
>>673126911
That was a trick this is the CIA you're under arrest
>>673112011
Not that hard to get dubs
>>673126717
>>673112797
You wanna kills the illuminati to?
>>673123842
>borderline
Woopidy fuckin doo
I have to MRI's every other month to monitor the progression of my pre-frontal Cortex and Amygdala to see if my talk therapy had influenced me in any way to gain some emotion. My whole family knows it and a few of my close friends do.
I haven't told my gf yet because for some reason, bitches get scared when you yell them you're clinically a psychopath. Fucking annoying as hell.
And I can't even help it. Call me an edge Lord because I pretty much sound like one.
Atleast I get to stay in a happy room every once in a while, Atleast there I can hug myself. It's quite comfortable anyways.
I got pulled over totally drunk and high on cocaine. Don't remember anything except flashing lights and when the cop the started talking to me. I must have charmed him (I remember him just laughing at all the retarded shit i was saying) because he let me go, though not before getting in my face. I had ten empty stamp bags of heroin in my car. If I had been blood tested and arrested, I would have failed for alcohol, cocaine, heroin, MDMA, ketamine, and I believe xanax.
Thank you cop, thank you so much.
It seems like a lot of people don't believe your sexual orientation can change, but mine has
>>673126228
The thing is that, everyone that knows me believes that I'm a good, honest to god dude, and a single day in my head would leave them appaled, because it would be a stark contrast with what they believe to be my personallity.
Am I over-thinking this?
>>673126963
I made my gf squirt when i went from her pussy to fuckin her in the ass
>>673126353
No. But she's annoying as hell when she's high.
>>673122643
Are you sure you got a thirty...anything?
>>673126795
here is a rough translation
>>673126929
No need for drugs, this knowledge is a greater "high" if you will. Although I do not discount drugs in their entirety, if properly produced they can have supernatural effects.
Taken properly: magic mushrooms and weed(organic for each) is the best.
Also the universe is binary
i'm fucking Ariana Marie this weekend
>>673126703
I'm an activist and union organizer with 25 years of experience. I also set up my local copwatch program, so the police hated me. (They put up posters all over the city which showed me with a gun in my mouth.) I got caught doing some nocturnal direct action for the union and they tried to give me bail conditions which would have red-zoned me from the entire city. My lawyer warned me if I didn't accept the conditions I'd spend the next two years in prison waiting for trial. It wasn't even a hard decision; I told them to shove their bail up their ass.
They put me in a pod with 40 angry, bored, cop-hating criminals who had absolutely nothing to do all day but sit and listen to me. I recruited the range boss, then got his help to get every person to sign a contract agreeing to riot if they separated individuals so they had to deal with us as a group, then showed the contract to the guards.
Then I used my media contacts to get a front page story on the shitty conditions inside. They had to send the deputy warden down to take our list of demands.
Five days into my stay they dragged me back into court and released me with no conditions. I didn't even have the usual boilerplate like "keep the peace and be of good behaviour." They told the judge they didn't want me in prison and the judge agreed. I was literally thrown out of prison.
>>673110275
I remember being four and messing around with my baby sitter's daughter. She was a year or two older than me. Idk if she walked in on her parents, was molested, or if she heard about sex from someone who was, but she used to lick my dick and make me lick her pussy and ass. I had no clue what I was doing, but she always told me it would get me in trouble if we were caught. It was a sort of fucked up time in my life.
i'm 29, good looking, in great shape, i make $175k and I have a 7.5 inch dong
still can't get a girlfriend
>>673127410
From what to what?
I made out with Hayley Williams. I used to be a batboy for the Philadelphia Phillies.
That's about it. Not bad for 26.
So In a span of 43 hours, I fucked 3 different women in 2 different states that are not near each other.
>>673127786
damn dude. thats bad ass. who are you?
I've had threesomes with two of my petgirls. I didnt have the biggest cock but mine was the dick that gave the most pleasure. One of them does cam shows and is getting into porn.
I seriously considered suicide at the age of 7.
>inb4 edgelord faggot
Made a 10/10 girl piss herself laughing
>>673126619
I can't tell for sure. I was madly in love with her, I wanted to be with her forever and I would've done anything to please her. It got to a point where I was obsessed with her, and almost without noticing I just killed her gently.
>Loves her and wants to be with her forever
>Kills her
Yeah, you can make fun of me, and I deserve it, but I can't say why I acted the way I did nor how doing that was involved with loving her so much.
In 2005, when the C6 was brand new, this guy pulled up at the gas pump next to me and I complemented him on his car. Super hot Milf got out and asked if I wanted to do porn.
A week later he was out of town so she picked me up from work and took me back to her place during lunch. Gave me some Vicodin, Jager Bombs and handed me a camera. I fucked her silly and framed it Gonzo style.
A few weeks later dude calls me to meet him at TGIF. His smooth ass picks up a waitress and a few days later I do the same to her.
I don't know if all this shit was for his personal collection, or if he was selling it, but I got paid about $200 per vid. I eventually got bored with it and quit.
>>673127901
straight to bi, and when I say bi I mean like 70% gay
I lost my virginity at 14. I lost count of the amount of women I slept with somewhere around the 70 mark. I love fucking new women, even if I'm in a steady relationship. I always cheat. I've fucked as old as mid-40s, and in terms of scale anywhere from a 4/10 to a 10/10 on an attractive scale. I know I have some addiction bullshit, but I'm doing pretty well in life and things are always getting better. There's no reason to stop this behavior, since no one has ever found out about my cheating habits. I do what I want, when I want and girls are naturally drawn to me.
The only downside to all of this is that my dick is incredibly desensitized and can't get off a lot of times. Bummer, but still fun.
>>673126572
That's richer than:
>Bill Gates
>Warren Buffett
>Carlos Slim
>The Waltons
>Every other human on Earth.
>>673112801
am i the only anon who noticed the eidetic memory thing? you must be like bradley cooper on limitless or some shit like that
>>673127597
Pics or it didnt happen
>>673111394
Bumping for interest
>>673109545
> I dated Hayley Williams for a few months, we didn't fug
> I lost my Virginity to a pornstar
> I've been in Zero Gravity
My girlfriend has murdered dozens of small animals, when they hit the window of her house she takes them and cuts them up while they're stunned, she's 17 now and has been doing it since she was 11
>>673109545
What website?
And what the fuck happened?
>>673128013
You're seriously asking me to out myself on /b/? Well, I'll go half-way. Here's the poster the cops put up, which I mentioned. That's me with a gun in my mouth and the guy smiling in the background is the mayor. I was... notorious at city hall. If you really want to know who I am, the poster provides all the hints you need.
>>673110822
I'm 51 and am close to the 500 mark.
>Back in my day......
>>673110275
I have a similar story, but it started earlier. Parent's best friends had a daughter about a month or two younger than me. We used to get naked and liked what we saw. Naturally evolved to fingering and oral. Somehow didn't ever realize that the penis was supposed to go into the vagina until we were about 13 and weren't screwing around anymore.
>>673128308
hasn't happened yet, will deliver if she lets me take a pic
it's not exactly outrageous, she escorts
>>673127880
Oh anon, you wonna come over to my place
>>673128568
mike portnoy?
>>673117618
"I was wondering when you'd finally come around"
>>673128635
goddamn wizards. I'm 34 and only on number 19. But 10 year hiatus on the same girl. I'm starting to get back on track though
