CRACKHEAD TALES! I'll go first. >work at cinema >enter
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
CRACKHEAD TALES!
I'll go first.
>work at cinema
>enter crackhead couple
>obviously total scumbags, look almost homeless
>woman seems near enough sober, maybe had a couple of drinks, but crack/heroin has destroyed her face
>the guy
>the guy....
>absolutely 100% out of his mind on heroin or some other strong opiate
>pic related, only he was more visibly drawn-out from drugs
>they approach the till next to mine being manned by a fat bitch that I hate but that's beside the point
>they ask to see the conjuring 2
decent film btw, acting is pure and total cringe but it will definitely shit you up if you watch it loud
>anyway
>next showing isn't for an hour
>as Fatty McDiabetic prints off their tickets and the woman pays, I notice the guy is leaning over the sweets
>hear a sligh rustling and see he now has his hands in the inside of his jacket
>guy has clearly just stolen a bag of sweets
>I stare him dead in the eyes, then stare right at his jacket where the sweets are, then back into his eyes
>allaroundmearefamiliarfaces.jpg
>he is JUST lucid enough to realise that he has been busted
>after a solid 5 seconds of me staring him out he does this weird full-body jerk motion
>slurs "just lukin fur sum change pal, heh"
>I keep staring him the eye
>"yeah..."
>I didn't physically witness him put the sweets into his jacket and the cinema policy is you can't actually accuse someone of stealing unless there is solid proof and multiple eye witnesses
CONT
>>693484009
>as I said, their next showing isn't for an hour so I say nothing and they leave the cinema to go shoot heroin or something before their film starts
>go into managers office, tell them what happened, and ask to see security footage
>it couldn't be more perfect
>just as he takes the bag and is putting it into his jacket he looks up and makes eye contact with the security camera
>this guy could be on a poster of what shoplifting looks like
>you stupid nigger
>hour or so later, they come back
>"yo mate can I have a word?", I say in a slightly hushed voiced, beckoning him over to the counter
>trying to hide my erection as I anticipate a good old crackhead-kickoff
>"uhhhhhbluhhhh yeah man sure"
>slumps his way over to the tills
>he's even more wasted than before
>"so about those sweets?"
>woman, who is now clearly intoxicated, starts to be all like "what are you on about?"
>before he can finish her sentence, wasted guy cuts her off
>"shut the fuck up you bitch" sharp as fuck, out of nowhere
>mfw
>she has done nothing wrong
>he grabs a handful of dirty ass-pennies out of his pocket and asks how much
>"£3.40"
>cinema prices are toppest of keks in the UK, don't know about you other faggots
>"fukkin hell"
>he doesn't have enough
>manager has in this time been notified of the crackhead bandits arrival and has approached the till
>he says "oh if you can't pay for them then we'll have to just refund your tickets and we can pay for it out of that"
>"oh yeah sure cool"
>>693484175
CONT
>we refund the tickets and give them the money minus the amount they had to pay for the sweets
>they both look confounded
>"we payed £x.XX, wtf"
>"yeah that's the £X.XX minus the £3.40 for the sweets you took"
>.....
>..........
>cogsturning.avi
>"okay well can we have another two tickets for the conjuring then?"
>they clearly will not have enough money...
>manager explains the whole thing and slowly it sinks into crackhead ladies head
>they aren't seeing this movie today
>she EXPLODES out of nowhere into a fit of rage at crackheadguy
>absolutely screaming
>"YOU FUCKING JUNKIE CUNT ALL THIS FOR SOME ROLO'S WHAT A FUCKING JOKE"
>there are kids with their parents at the cinema
>she's still going
>mfw
>crackhead guy is at this point literally just staring into space wondering where the fuck he is
>is not listening at all
>me, manager, and three other members of staff are just stood there
>Watching this spaced out junkie pay absolutely no attention to crackhead bitch going apeshit into his ear
>he looks a mixture of serenly content, and in nightmarish agony
>after 20 seconds or so manager starts asking them to leave the building or the police will be called
>crackhead woman storms out, screaming the whole time
>crackhead guy regains consioucness after a minute or so
>slowly turns his head to me
>no joke
>"uhhhh two for the conjuring please"
Bümp
>>693484575
>>693484175
>>693484009
i enjoyed OP
>>693484009
>>693484175
>>693484575
Great tale, OP. Got a little chuckle out of it.
Tell us more about this fat lady that you hate.
>>693484575
>"ah sorry dude you gotta leave"
>feeling sorry for him at this point
>he probably has to deal with his crackhead bitch all the time, life hasn't been kind to this guy
>he just sort of stands around for a couple of minutes
>mumbling apologies and looking around
>slowly trails off towards towards the exit
>shit eating grins on my colleagues faces
>most exciting thing any of us have ever witness
>go home and masturbate over it later that night
crackheads are awesome
>>693484009
>be me
>living in atlanta
>crackhead central
>get a speeding ticket
>municipal court is in the middle of crack town
>get down there to pay
>early morning
>park in sketch parking lot
>crackhead approaches me as i'm walking from my car
>"hey man, them's some nice shoes"
>shit
>think i'm about to get shanked
>"thanks bro"
>doesn't shank me
>starts walking along beside me
>not sure where this is going
>"hey man. can i buy those shoes from you?"
>"what?"
>"i'll pay you for them."
>"i'm wearing them right now. what would i be wearing if i sold you my shoes"
>"man, with the money you could go buy you some new shoes"
>"that doesn't make sense. if you've got the money why don't you go buy YOU some shoes?"
>"man, cause i like those shoes"
>still not sure what the fuck is going on
>"i'm not going to sell you my shoes"
>think i'm about to get shanked
>crackhead stops walking
>i continue on
>"man! fuck you! i was gonna pay you any everything!"
>walk inside and pay speeding ticket
>>693485125
Checked
>>693484009
got one for yea tried meth once stayed up for 2 days it sucked dont do meth its not only bad for you all it dose is keep you up.
>>693485338
Sure, I have just the one, gonna keep it short a and sweet though
>okay I'll be straight, I don't actually hate her, she's never done anything to make me hate her
>she's just weird as fuck
>she has this weird demeanor where despite being the same level of employee as me, she will always ask me to do things for her
>she has this sort of sweet, timid voice that is also fucking horrible and sends shivers down my spine
>one of the weirdest things about her is that she has such low self-confidence that she will apologies ALL the time, when no apology is needed
>maybe it's just because she's british
>she sweeps up some popcorn like 5ft away from you
>"oh sorry darling"
>she asks you to do something totally unwarranted
>"oh sorry darling"
>she is taking her break and leaving you with ONLY 5 other colleagues to work with
>"oh sorry darling"
>didn't notice it at first, but over time it really starts to annoy me
>then
>one day it all changed and became hilarious for me
>sat in the team room on my 15 minute break chilling and browsing /b/ on my phone
>team room is a communal area, people come and go
>she opens the door in a completely normally fashion
>"oh sorry darling"
>can't contain myself and just burst out laughing
>she literally apologised for entering the team room
>it's like a fucking reflex for her to just say sorry for existing at this point
>she does not understand AT ALL why I'm laughing
>try and tell her I'm laughing at a funny pic I saw
>she doesn't buy it
>has barely spoken or looked at me for weeks
OP is storytelling god
>>693486147
heh glad you think so, this is like the 3rd thread I've ever made in my 5 years lurking
I have a couple more stories from the cinema if people are in the thread
>>693485396
You can't go any fucking where in the actual city Atlanta without running into a fucking crackhead. Its like they have nesting grounds at the fucking Greyhound station too. I always see so many there.
>>693486494
tell us moar OP
>>693485964
>>693486494
PLEASE make more
>>693486136
Show us pics of this lady.
>>693485964
What the fuck did you check?
>>693487090
(You) took the bait
>>693484009
Wow what's your fucking problem so a guy stole a little bit of candy you want to embarrass him in public and cause a freakout where children are? You're fucking scum I hate theater workers like you who take their job seriously
>>693487510
These sweet doubles
>>693487598
Stfu faggot. He's doing his job. That's what he's paid for.
>>693486672
Another apology-lady tale
>be before crackhead incident, me and apology lady are still on talking terms
>btw her daughter also works at the cinema and is like a little dwarfy clone of her mum
>when they are on shift together we get more customers due to their gravitational pull I guess
>her daughter is actually quite a nice person despite being a larger species
>anyway
>I am talking to apology-lady and another colleague
>the conversation turns to "weird stuff"
>as in literally we were just telling each other about weird stuff we'd seen or heard about
>out of nowhere apologylady comes out with "oh well my son is a furry, that's pretty weird I think!"
>mfw
>I'm in the UK, legitimately thought furry culture was like exclusive to the US or something
>pretend not to know what a furry is, ask her to clarify what she's talking about to confirm we're on the same age
>she explains
>it's exactly as I thought, except she didn't mention that he jacks his weird little weenie to furry porn
>she tells me she took a week of work last year to take him to a furry convention
>mfw
>my internal organs are convulsing at this point in a mixture of disbelief and excitement
>have to pretend I don't think this is the single most hilaious thing anyone has ever told me
>"oh that does sound a bit strange I'll be honest!" I jest, giving her an awkward friendly glance
>I can see the pain in her eyes
>she knows about the furry porn
>she knows exactly how bad this is
>finish conversation
>masturbate in the team room over my great discover
>apologylady walks in
>"oh sorry darling"
>>693487599
I'm not sure here.... Did you just fucking predict your own dubs?
Or are you still playing off the bait? My fucking word...
>>693485964
The fuck are you checking newfag?
>>693487698
He's paid to ring people up not to snitch on people when he didn't even see it happen
>>693487567
Newfag trying to cover his tracks
>>693487815
Predicted. This is a good thread tbh.
>>693484009
neato
smoked crack on the west side of Chicago with a random crackhead in my old $60k leased car.
>>693487886
Faggot he saw it. That's like not even what he said. Stop being this retarded. He's paid to ring up shit, did he ring up that candy? No. So stfu and look how stupid you are.
>snitches
What are you in middle school?
>>693487599
Damn son!
>>693487923
I too am enjoying this thread. Got some quality asmr in the background as well.
>>693484009
nice story op
>>693487813
Furries are the worst
>>693487813
Please pics of daughter.
>>693488200
He didn't see it, did you even read it? He only assumed it and went straight to his manager like a little bitch boy. And he wasn't serving the guy so why the hell would he ring him up in the first place? Fuck off with your idiocy.
>>693487833
Your dubs bitch
>>693484575
I giggled..
>>693486494
yes plz more cinema story's op
>>693488473
OP here
you're a nigger and I don't care about what you're saying lmao
>>693488473
Faggot he was buying a ticket. Do you not understand that he was ringing him up and he saw crackhead joe put it in his pocket, but sonce policy is no accusing until you have proof, therefore he went to the security cameras to check, did you even read simpleton?
>as Fatty McDiabetic prints off their tickets and the woman pays, I notice the guy is leaning over the sweets
>hear a sligh rustling and see he now has his hands in the inside of his jacket
>guy has clearly just stolen a bag of sweets
>I stare him dead in the eyes, then stare right at his jacket where the sweets are, then back into his eyes
>allaroundmearefamiliarfaces.jpg
>he is JUST lucid enough to realise that he has been busted
>after a solid 5 seconds of me staring him out he does this weird full-body jerk motion
>slurs "just lukin fur sum change pal, heh"
>I keep staring him the eye
>"yeah..."
>I didn't physically witness him put the sweets into his jacket and the cinema policy is you can't actually accuse someone of stealing unless there is solid proof and multiple eye witnesses.
Then op went to the manager and checked the cams. He didnt accuse the crackhead of stealing until after he saw the evidence jackass.
>>693484009
We need more stories op.
Bump for OP.
>>693488761
>I don't care about what you're saying
>But I care a fuck ton about my minimum wage where I ring people up at the movies that shit is serious peoples lives are in my hands
You need a life you fucking nobody, gotta feel important by being extra good at your stupid ass job
>>693487598
Fuck you, the crackhead doesn't get a special pass for being a thief. I hope a crackhead steals your shit.
>>693488845
The point is that he even went to his manager in the first place. OP takes his job way too seriously he's a glorified ticket ripper
Bump for more stories
>>693488473
Just kill yourself you little thief.. Learn to pay for shit.
>>693489027
At least he has a job. Keep cleaning that cum out of your neckbeard from your mlp jerk session.
today OP was not a faggot
good read m8
>>693489242
>can't refute my point so he goes for a middle school insult
Good job on proving me right
>>693489113
not sure if they're are bating or just Dindu
>>693489164
Lol that's what you're supposed to do at a job. Take care of it. You're probably a thieving ass faggot who needs to steal to even exist. That's just sad.
>>693484575
I laughed.
Op was not a faggot.
>>693485380
Poetic, OP - thank you for sharing.
OP again
>another guy works at cinema
>not sure if gay or not
>literally nothing against gay people, but he's flamboyant and annoying in the worst way
>I'm on ushering duty and we are both clearing a screen after a showing, sweeping popcorn off the floor etc
>shit but whatever, it's a job
>I have a bin bag in my hands, he approaches me with an empty tray of nachos in his hands
>I open the bin-bag for him to throw it away
>he does so
>leans right into my fucking ear and whispers
>"cheers big boy"
>it's literally just me and him alone in this massive empty cinema room
>I just stare at him
>"don't ever do that again"
>he does the most awful and cringeworthy little shuffle of his life over to another bit of rubbish on the floor
>quickly shuffles back to me and does the exact same thing again, only this time with a more manly voice, trying to play the first time off as a funny joke
>mfw
>say nothing and leave the screen, leaving him to clean the rest up by himself
>there's loads of rubbish
>he doesn't say anything to management because he knows I'll tell them why I left the room
kek
>>693489372
You had a point?
>>693489674
No his job is to handle customer transactions, nowhere does it say for him to go crawling to his boss all "h-h-hey i think i saw someone stealing, that's illegal! let's get this guy ay?" like some kind of justice seeking fag
>>693487598
Hiya Crackity McCrackhead
>>693489761
kek
>>693489761
>cheers big boy.
Hahahaha wtf man.
OP here
to put your little debate to rest, I'll point out that I'm on the verge of a management position at the cinema, and doing things like being professional and reporting shoplifting to the appropriate people is the kind of thing that helps you out in that position. It's called doing your job lol
>>693489372
Your point refutes itself faggot. If you want to keep your job then you try to good work. Regardless of whether it steps on someones toes or not. Again, if you ever make it out of your fucking basement and talk to a real life human being you'd understand that.
>>693489761
>>693487886
Welcome to normal society, where stealing is considered "Wrong" and a "Crime".
OP is bored as hell at his minimum wage job no harm in a little excitement. busting crackheads for shit was a daily routine at my old job makes life more interesting
>>693489962
That's the point. His job is to handle transactions. Was the candy paid for?
No.
You literally have no idea what you're talking about.
Did he get the transaction at the end?
Yes. He didnt go crawling faggot, only thieving people like you who believe that shit should be tolerated do. Off yourself.
>>693487813
>gravitational pull
>pain in her eyes
OP, I love you.
>>693490120
Crackhead anon has never had a responsibility except wiping the cum off his limp dick.
>>693490120
>being such a failure at life all you have in your life is to bust petty thieves and suck your managers dick so you get a better position
Kek, but hey someone's gotta keep the theaters running right lmao
>>693489761
Cheers big boy
>>693484575
kekkkkkk
>>693490792
OP again
not that I care what you fedora donning mudslides think of me, but for the sake of making you feel worse about yourselves, I'll point out that the job is part time in addition to being at university, doing an actually decent course instead of sitting at home making my dick turn red browsing loli and cuck threads daily
>>693484009
Dont you feel like you will lose more money then that $3.40 becasue someone is screaming there lungs out in front of children?
>>693488473
>>693489164
>>693489962
You little faggoty cunt stain. This anon posts quality content in your /b/ and you're trying to call him out over little bullshit like the fact that he gives a fuck about catching thieves in his place of work? What are you - afraid of a little confrontation? Pussy. I bet you'd have let that crack head walk out, smug that you're not enough of a bitch to call him out when - really - you're just too much of a pussy to.
>>693490792
>being an apathetic nobody who wants to get money for nothing.
You are literally what's wrong with western civilization
>>693491220
>it's just a side job I'm totally working for an actual career
Sure pal, it's fun to pretend
one more
>be on the tills
>we have these little plastic counters
>we get like 8 total, 2 of each colour
>each colour represents a free thing you can give to customers at your discretion to make them happy or whatever the fuck
>I always forget I have them and rarely give them out
>that day in particular my manager reminds me I should try and give some free stuff out
>forget until about 10 minutes before shift
>black guy comes to the till
>gold tooth, bald head, total nigger
>first black guy I've seen in days, I live in a very very white areas
>give him one of everything
>he's like "haha what's all this for?"
>fucker caught me off guard
>we're supposed to give them out to people you have great conversations with or people with kids who look stressed
>why the fuck have I just given this guy all this free shit?
>have to come up with something quick
>I like your style
>accidentally make eye contact with his gold tooth
>mfw
Op please tell more stories
>>693491220
>>693490597
>>693490475
>>693490128
>>693489674
>>693489242
>>693489215
>>693489113
>>693491453
>all this mad
>>693491795
>"I like your style"
>>693491795
>Eye contact with gold tooth
>>693491220
You're based, OP - fuck the envious basement dwellers.
ITT: wageslaves
>>693491818
>being this much of a faggot.
>>693491453
the cancer is worse than I thought
got a couple more, keep thread alive
>>693492240
One of the /pol/tards escaped...
>>693491795
thanks friend
>>693491795
tell us more or else I'll hack you
>>693491795
fucking kekked
>>693484575
Fucking kek read first time I actually lost my shit to a story on 4chan thanks mydude
Another
>Cinema puts on a games night once every month or two
>someone brings a PS4 and hooks it up to one of the screens and we play mostly videogames and cards against humanity all night
>couple of the managers are there
>most of them are cool but one of them is a gimpy faglord
>he comes up with this great idea for another type of game
>about 15 of us are in a circle
>he's explaining the rules and nobody is liking the sound of it
>confused and disapproving looks being thrown around by almost everyone as he tried to explain these shit rules for the second or third time
>I get up without saying anything and walk off to the other end of the screen where a couple of people are playing vidya
>one by one I notice people silently get up and leave the circle without saying a word
>he's left with like 4 of the most retarded and disliked people at work playing his game
>the rest of us look on feeling a mix of pity and apathy
a couple of times managerfag looked up at the rest of us with a phoney grin saying something like "heh... sure you don't wanna play, you're missing out!"
>he knows he's playing a 10+ person game with 4 of the worst people ever
>mfw
>>693492240
Who the fuck pays the bills in a basement dwellers house? I've always wondered this
>>693493451
Can you remember the name of the game or any of the rules? That sounds cringey as fuck
>>693493451
Was fatty mcdiabetes playing too?
>>693493451
Was he trying to get you to play werewolf? Because that game is fucking awesome.
>>693493467
He probably gets NEETbucks.
>>693493854
Good boy points for tendies.
Happened last week.
>be goin to work
>pull into a sick spot cause hella close to venue
>got time to dink off till i have to sign in
>crazy dude walkin around the parking lot on a sick one.
>think nothing of it, its the strip
>continue dinking off
>hear loud clink outside
>look over at melonin enriched crazy man
>see him picking up large metal pipe which was the source of the clink sound.
>he looks at me looking at him
>starts yelling gibberish and staring me down.
>meh, maybe he'll fuck off.
>walks around my car pointing the pipe at me, still yelling in some made up dialect.
>fack, gotta sign in at work, didnt carry today, not trying to fight some twacked out dude right now
>hello 911, yeah theres some dude blahblah blah
>two cars are there and have him jammed up before i could hang up with dispatch.
>cop comes over
>"whats his deal"
>"fuck if i know man"
"Ok, have a good night"
>head into work to load out the lame ass creator of the beach boy's show
>>693493599
nope I tuned out after a few seconds when I realised it was definitely a terrible idea
>>693493639
I don't actually think she was there that night :(
>>693493306
what about anon works IT?
>>693492240
>I could learn language or read philosophy
and yet you still continue to sink hours into MMOs and fap all fucking day to drawings on the internet
pus anyone that sincerely thinks that all women are incapable of loyalty, respect, or having a brain that actually works on a reasonable level is just moronic and needs to actually meet women other than their mothers & the retarded teenagers they went to school with
>>693484575
my fucking god
>>693493467
They feed off family and the state. The wageslave delusion is the only thing that let's them think they support any kind of morality.
Define parasite.
>>693493854
>neetbucks
aka profiting off of other peoples hard work
disgusting
>working in shitty town
>Me and buddy take lunch at park
>Here comes crack head couple
>Park is right buy police station
>Crackheads start fighting
>Fight starts coming to blows.
>Me and buddy not ok with hitting women.
>We get up and approach them.
>Female crackhead tells the male our approach and trys to act like we are going to kick his ass
>Male crack fiend trys to act tough until he turns around and has to look up to us
>Not about to lose our job over stupid crackhead drama we tell them to take that shit somewhere else or we will call the cops.
>They stop for about 5 min and start right back
>So we call the cops who are literally across the street.
>Cops show up in one min flat.
>We enjoyed the rest of our lunch watching crackheads get arrested for possession
>>693485964
kek What?
Op needs to post a pic of fatty mcdiabetes.
>>693494477
this plz op
>>693494636
Before it 404's
hehe another
>around the same time as the crackhead tale because this story is fucking conjuring 2 related
>be on ushering duty again
>on of the various jobs of an usher is to check the screens prior to the film starting to make sure people aren't sitting in premier seats without premier tickets
I'm not THAT MUCH of a faggot so if it's quiet I'll let people get away with it, but when it's busy you really gotta make sure people aren't in the seats otherwise you get fat retards come up complaining someone is in their seat that they paid extra for and it just causes more shit for you...
>exactly this happens
>someone comes out and tells me someone was sat in their partners seat
>movie is maybe 10-15 minutes in, the jumpy terrifying shit has already begun
>I walk down the isle a little and peer round the corner to get a view of the premier seats
>start counting how many there are (I checked before and there should only be like 8-10)
>as I'm there, looming round the corner, shit scary stuff is happening on screen and everone is on edge
>woman 1 seat in from the isle turns around for no apparant reason, spots me, absolutely shit her little boxer shorts and screams "OMG THERE'S A FUCKING PERSON" grabbing at her boyfriend who is equally terrified
>run out of the screen laughing before anyone an identify i'm a member of staff
>mfw
>>693493993
>melanin enriched.
that one got me.
>>693489027
Getting all fucking triggered because he called you a nigger and said he doesn't care about what you say. What did you expect on /b/, dipshit?
>>693495043
I didn't, please explain
>>693494189
nice strawman there
Also, I think YOU should probably meet more women and get to know them
>>693495356
melanin is what's in your skin that causes your skin color. If you have alot of it you're black/brown. If not, then you're white.
Fuck ok I got one
>fishing when I was 17
>Vietnamese guys next to me
>they lok at me as I'm reeling infish after fish
>feel like playing some run thru the jungle by CCR in hopes to trigger a Nam flashback
>start playing it
>catching fish as they reel in not a damn thing
>say something to each other along the lines of "tan guy jang Wong Choi" or some Jap shit
>I'm a nice guy in person but a dickhead personality
>"hey guys maybe you may try using a worm instead of a jig"
>they go on rambling in Chinese languor
>they move across the bank and I shut my music off
>piggie amehricehn
>what? I said
>tan juoy dong Bai sock or some shit kek
>still wonder to this day wtf they were talking about
>one Vietnamese guy walks up dangerously close to me
>put thees on yo hook
>uhh what is it?
>recipe we make fo fish he says
>pulls out A PILE OF FUCKIN BLOW AND RUBS IT ON MY HOOK
>CAST OUT INTHE WATER AND WHEN FISHCOME NEAR HEY KEEP RESURFACING FOR AOR
>FUCKING MFW VIETNAMESE GIVES ME COKE TO USE TO CATCH FISH
Someone fuckin screencap this now
>>693495654
Hahaha vietnamese people do the craziest things
>>693495527
>calls out someone on strawman
> had been doing the exact same fucking thing all thread
>>693485396
>>693486581
Here's another from the a-town.
>Be me
>19
>on holiday in Washington DC (January) with my older brother and his friend
>last day there
>about 2 pm, in front of the white house
>we each take one tab of lsd
>spend the day going to museums on the mall
>Smithsonian, THE MINERALS, MY GOD THE MINERALS
>Portrait gallery, Trippin hard as fuck, touching everything and shit
>leave the mall, back to the house were staying at
>find an albino squirell, he eats from my hand
>call uber to the airport, start coming back to reality
>it starts snowing on the car ride
>suddenly stops
>was it ever even snowing?
>>693496026
CONT
>get to airport, second wave kicks in
>dem giggles
>friend loses ticket
>find ticket
>flights at 10 pm, almost miss the plane
>in the air
>still tripping, eating gummies
>amazed by the view
>touchdown
>my brother and his friend drive home, i take marta (shitty atlanta subway)
>crackhead walks up to me, dirty clothes, scarred face, one of his eyes is brown, cloudy, and extremely nasty
>asks for money
>say i will give him none
>says i have to because im white
>get pissed
>stare into him with the violent stare that can only be fueled by psychedelics
>"you look like you bout ready to pounce on me boy"
>say nothing
>tries to shake my hand
>fuck off
>everyone on the train is staring at us
>train slows
>he starts to fall towards me, from the inertia
>i slide out of the way
>trips on my foot
>hits face on the pole
>nose starts to bleed
>train stops
>hes getting up
>i get off the train
>he tries to follow me
>door closes in his face
>much kek
>many laughter
>>693492240
No reason to have a job other than to help the economy that lets you watch all that gay porn you love so dearly
>>693495654
>n 1 seat in from the isle turns around for no apparant reason, spots me, absolutely shit her little boxer shorts and screams "OMG THERE'S A FUCKING PERSON" grabbing at her boyfriend who is equally terrified
>>run out of the screen laughing before anyone an identify i'm a member of staff
fake and gay
>>693495654
Hank hill is that you?
>>693494972
that gif is so perfect for this story
hail OP
>>693495947
it's not strawman if it's true though
bump for OP in hopes of more stories
>>693496577
trying to think of more stories that are worth the effort
thread has gone to cancerous neckbeards though :(
Epic bread
>>693489372
>Can't refute his point so just points out sum more shit nobody cares about
Way to go neckbeard, u really impressed the Internet today
Thanks OP.
Best thread in ages.
>>693491795
Where in UK
>>693496248
No but I'll still wheel and deal some propane
>>693495760
YES
>>693497108
thanks
>>693497171
not saying
>>693496479
> it's not racism if it's true
> it's not womanizing if it's true
> it's not communism if it don't work.
Nigga try again
>>693487813
Sorry to break it yo ya m8 but there's furries all around the world now.
>>693484575
Ha pretty good story.
>>693497350
Pussy
OP here just remembered one of the stupidest things that's ever happened
>be on the tills
>woman comes to the till
>she looks abnormally normal, not particularly retarded or anything
>nice normal lady
>asks for a medium coke
>go to grab the cup
>"is that the smallest one you do?"
>look at her for a moment
>"what, the medium sized one?"
>noresponse.jpg
>wait a few more moments
>....
>nothing
>mfw
I was chuckling about this for days I don't even know why
screencap and put me in!!! this is how you meme reddit fags take notes
>>693497419
Why the fuck am I laughing at that fucking retarded ass picture
>Tfw I might be autistic
>>693498124
Thanks for the thread guys
-your friendly neighbourhood cinema host
>>693499114
This made summer not so bad.
Don't let this thread die
>>693489962
>law and order is for faggots
I agree, let's do literally whatever the fuck we want just like the animals. Civilized society is for cucks.
>>693488870
kek'd at this image ty
>>693500290
Can't think of any moree stories right now and thread is dying anyway :c
Thanks captain_vegetable, whoever you are
first time telling stories and I get /r/4chan'd weeeee
>>693487567
Looks like (You) took the bait, newfag.
This was a pretty good bread overall. We have pleased lord chin chin boss.
>>693492240
So...you're homeless using the library internet then. Makes perfect sense
Right I got one then.. I can't let this thread die
>Working in a small gas station
>Not many customers just the usual stuff
>Old lady, gay guy etc
>One late night I'm working a late shift around 5PM to 5AM
>Some guy comes in
>We have monitors at our cashier desk so we can see whats going on around the store
>He enters and he's shaky as fuck
>I'mgonnagetrobbed.jpeg
>He looks around for about 20 minutes
>He get's to the desk and stares at me
>His eyes are sunken as fuck
>Silence
>"You got any o' dem ciggs?"
>Wat
>"Ciggies m8 do u 'ave any?"
>"Sure, over there"
>He stares at them for a solid 10 minutes of silence
>"thanks"
>He pays for them and walks off
>I don't see him leave
>I see him 5 minutes later stood in the snacks isle
>Ass naked
>Mfw
>No joke
>This guy has his dick in the ciggie packet he bought
>He looks at me and makes eye contact
>He fucking screeches and runs out of the door
>God speed cig-pack crack head man
>God speed.
>>693504285
some mothers do 'ave em, moar.
>>693487599
Captchas are so anti establishment. I'm hating looking at store fronts I never want to visit another one. Likewise, street signs mean NOTHING to me
>>693504285
Holy kek fuck
>>693504285
Fucking kek
bump
>>693504285
> screeches
> ass naked
>>693487599
>>693488571
>>693505802
Forgot pic
I got a few sure
>Day shift, pretty early hours
>Around 3 am
>One old lady comes in with her tard son really early sometimes
>He's pretty chill but full potato
>They come in one day and he's moaning like a gay guy with a huge dick in his ass
>Load as fuck
>She explains he's a bit hyper today
>"That's fine as long as he's under control"
>She's buying usual stuff
>Milk, eggs, lottery ticket
>Then I hear it
>"MOMGY WAN DOWITOS"
>"Excuse me?"
>"He wants Doritos dearie, sorry for him being so loud"
>I explain it's fine and the Doritos are in the back
>I hadn't re-stocked them yet
>Go to get them
>"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Drop the box and run back in
>The tard knocked over an entire shelf
>Mfw It landed on him
>He's pinned down and his mother is trying to help him
>I stay in the back watching through a doorway pretending i didn't notice
>Thisgonbgood.gif
>She uses her super old lady strength to get him out
>They legit bolt out
>He shit himself on the way out im not even joking
>He's screaming as they run to her car
>They're driving away and I can still hear him screeching
>SCREEE MUGMA ME MAYDE POOPIE"
>"SCREEEEEE"
>3 am and he's screaming his ass off
>We closed an hour later to clean up, I got the day off for some reason
>I'm not gonna fight it so I take the day off
>Good day tbh
Alright, keeping this alive.
>Be in middle school
>In the only ghetto part of a nice old people town
>Used to be an all black school
>Walking to class one day
>I hear shouting from behind me
>Two black kids known for being unintentionally hilarious are arguing about who could win
>One of them is obviously high
>High one starts trying to punch
>Manages to land two because the other kid is fat
>Fat kid is losing
>Crowd gathered at this point
>Fat kid notices the crowd, but the high kid doesn't
>Enter fucking ballistic fat black kid
>He starts windmilling is massive arms with the force to power an air conditioner for his family
>Hits the high kid about 10 times consecutively until he falls back into the crowd
>The KFC crew fucking pushes him back towards fat kid like a wrestling rope
>The fat kid stands with his arms out and literally falls on this kid.
>You could hear his scream
>Mfw
God damn this thread is incredible.
I have stories to share but on mobile it will take forever. Keep thread alive I am done work soon.
Until you have dealt with Navajo crack heads you don't know the true alphas of the crackhead world
>>693506766
Fucking yes!
another poster thank god I'm not alone
don't die
dont die pls
pls don't die
>>693492240
yeah! the neet elite is back!
Don't fucking die on me!
Don't let this shit die.
Pls no die
OP again, got distracted by work stories and totally forgot about the other crackhead tale I was going to tell
>be not at work
>somewhere else it doesn't matter where
>walking next to a very tall building
>as I pass the corner there is an alleyway next to the building
>crackhead in alleyway, doing crackhead shit
>sitting on the floor, looking at the floor, being on crack/heroin, etc
you get the picture
>it's pretty late and he asks me if I have any change
>normally just walk on but figure fuck it I actually have some change and it's not even in my wallet, it's just loose in my pocket so it's minimal effort to just take it out and give him to him
>give him some change
>he says thankyou and asks me how I'm doing
>figure I'll stay and chat to him a minute, see what this guys story is, they often have some funny stories
>I ask him how things are going and if he has anywhere to stay
>he literally tells me to go fuck myself, stands up, and walks off into the alleyway
>never saw him again
>give homeless people sandwiches spiked with ketamine ever since
godspeed crackhead
>>693508486
they're probably grateful for the free ketamine
Ghetto Middle School again.
>Have this white friend at school
>He lives out in the middle of nowhere
>He's annoying as fuck but only talks to me
>He doesn't come to school for a week one time
>It turns out his girlfriend moved away
>He starts carrying around scissors and cutting himself randomly
>People make fun of him for being so edgy
>He makes a presentation about his favorite band
>Korn
>Ohmyfuckinggodkek.png around the classroom
>He starts wearing a black trenchcoat
>He's self aware now though
>He goes up to a white girl and pulls out his flip phone like a gun
>She fucking screams
>No one notices
>One day he doesn't show up to class
>I see him walking around in weird places around the school though, only a half second where I can see him at a time
>Scared shitless
>He comes back the next day, says he got the day off because the public safety department checked him for bombs
>Everyone laughs
>The last day of middle school is awards day
>No one's in the halls because I'm late
>He fucking runs up out of nowhere and drops his trench coat
>He shouts something and scares me shitless
>"ANON IT HAPPENED AGAIN"
>mfw
>>693508486
Nice. When I live in Honolulu HI some guy would go around and leave poisoned food in styrofoam containers (make it look like street food purchased off nearby trucks) on the lip of garbage cans. Homeless scavenge those garbage cans for cans and food constantly so they would end up dead or in the ER if they got unlucky and got one he planted.
>>693484575
OP from Glasgow by any chance?
Gas station worker here
I got a few more to keep this thread alive
>Remember cig-pack fucker man before?
>He's back...
>I just remembered my last encounter with him
>It's about 5pm
>He comes is and I audibly groan
>He's high as fuck on crack and you can tell
>He's swaying and shit, moaning too
>He comes in and asks me for Mountain Dew
>Didn't come to the desk
>He shouted from the doors for Mountain Dew
>FuckYou.jpeg
>He's pissed
>He wants his Dew and he ain't leaving until he gets it
>I toss him a bottle and he fails to catch it
>Bounces off his chest
>A few seconds later he makes a catching motion
>"Fuckin' bugger m8 I fuckin dropped it init"
>What
>He bends over to pick it up and he faceplants the floor
>Stands back up and takes his shirt off
>Mfw
>He's trying to pic the bottle up with his shirt
>Basically hes just slapping the bottle around with it
>After a few minutes of trying he screams
>"FUCK OFF THEN YE CUNT LETS FUCKIN' AV IT
>He isn't... He can't be
>He punches the bottle
>He is legit.. Fighting a mountain dew bottle
>He gets dragged away by police
>Gg
>>693509365
GODSPEED CRACKHEAD
>>693498004
You were supposed to say, "yes, this is the smallest cup we have" or, "no, we have a smaller cup" Dumbass. I would have laughed at your incompetence. To be fair she couldn't have been too bright, she should have responded by saying something like, "That's a medium? Then there must be a small." Dumbass
>>693492240
Is this bait? How are you supposed to survive without money? Let alone thrive? Everything is already accounted for. Humans are locked in a fierce competition for resources in a pseudo-invisible economic war with each other.
How do you propose doing as you say and having the resources to do anything but sit around and starve?
>decide to do heroin
>no connect
>go into town and ask first homeless guy I see and tell him I'll sort him a 10bag if he can take me to his heroin guy
>first fucking guy I ask
>he stands up excited
>walks me to his drug dealer
>entire journey he is telling me alllll about his drug dealer, including his name, the rough area where he lives, and stories of illegal stuff he's done
>DONTSELLDRUGSTOHOMELESSPEOPLE.JPG
>THEYWILLGETYOUCAUGHTORROBBED.WTF
>meet the guy
>he's a scrawny fuck clearly addicted to his own product
>so fucked up I'm tempted to just rob him in the street in the middle of the day for the free heroin
>he gives me my heroin and gives me a dodgey look
>are you straight? (as in are you a fucking cop or not, not "are you gay")
>I decide to push my luck "yeah I'm all good carl, don't worry"
>he gives the most evil, contorted look to the homeless guy as he realised he gave up his name before I even met him
>homeless guy starts going off on one about how I'm the soundest, most trustworthy guy he knows and I would never fuck him over
>mfw 10 seconds ago I was considering robbing him but didn't because I want a constant stream of heroin
>>693510003
You must be a nigger
>>693509718
I said it with a smile on my face, the kind of smile that says "please realise the stupidity of what you just said before I have to make you feel stupid". I thought she'd get it but she didn't
fuck you anon
SOMEONE FUCKING SCREENCAP THIS NOW
>>693509718
also she didn't even see the cup.
she literally just asked for a medium and then asked if medium was the smallest one we do
>>693487698
This.
>>693502220
Fucking kill yourself
>>693510326
How do i on an S3?
I already deleted system 32
>>693487598
Dude gets paid to do his job.
Just because you're a nigger and don't take anything seriously doesn't mean anyone gets a free pass.
If I owned a business and paid folks to do shit, I'd want them to take their job seriously. So if I'm paid well and treated like a human being, I'll take my job seriously.
LOOK AT THIS MAN HE'S FUCKED UP OH MY GOD
http://nivata.motikarq.com/media/nqkfo-rupsi
>>693510584
You gotta set the device on fire too
>>693510326
Screencap it yourself you fucking idiot and go back to r/4chan as stay there
>>693510326
Don't worry I've got every one on this thread
>>693487599
>>693485964
Jesus sweet passionate christ what
>>693489027
"Wah, wah, people take their jobs seriously and enjoy fucking with thieves and crack heads."
Get over yourself, nigger. Get off welfare and get a job.
Guy's I'm running out of stories
>>693510800
Post the caps for everyone to save if they want to share the stories or some shit
>>693484575
>>"uhhhh two for the conjuring please"
>>693484575
Nice story op
>>693490792
Aw, what's the matter? Granny nigger teach you how to get welfare and you're mad because someone busted one of your kin?
good thread boiz
>>693484575
Since I've been to the cinema high as a kite before I kind of feel that guy. I've even once been to a store staring into the candy shelf for what felt like ages, then slowly and innocently started stuffing my face with them until some buddy that was hanging around with me asked me "Dude are you eating those? How will you buy them?" Only then I realized I was at the store and not supposed to just eat the stuff. I went to the counter and explained myself offering to pay for it but the guy behind it just laughed at us and let us go. Good times, sad that weed just doesn't do this to me anymore, which is why I quit it eventually.
>>693512411
I see where you're coming from but eating a couple of sweets when you're high from a big ol' doobie is totally different to clearly being a drug addict and coming in high on heroin knowingly shoplifting something because you don't want to pay for it.
At least you offered to pay.
Also, I too have quit weed because it totally changed for me all of a sudden, so I feel you
>>693492240
Autism
>>693512411
Weed would never make you just think you could eat shit like that dude. Even the best fucking acid on earth wouldn't do that.
BULLSHIT story
>>693513324
>Even the best fucking acid on earth wouldn't do that.
have you ever done acid?
>>693512411
>>693513023
Looking forward to starting 8th grade this fall?
>>693513469
Yup mainly in the mid 90s. These guys think drugs are like in the movies.
Gimme a break
>>693496208
your a failure
>>693513781
I've done acid many times and I can 100% imagine accidentally eating something that I was supposed to be paying for. I've never done it though because the thought of going in a supermarket on acid is horrifying
>>693503257
How new are you?
One night I was out drinking with some buddies and we missed the last train so we decided to hang around in an irish pub close to the station for some three hours.
>be considerably drunk but not too severe, in full control of though, speech and movement
>outside smoking
>some really fucked looking guy approaches me with a hat
>"hey mister, got some change?"
>"sure, here you go"
>throw 2€ into his hat
>"got any more?"
>I give him the peach gummy rings I bought when we left the club
>"No, I mean money"
>"You'd have to earn it, then."
>"earn it? how?"
>"I don't know"
>he stares at me and is rocking back and forth slowly
>stares down at his hat
>looks me in the face again
>"I sell you my hat"
>"Sure. 5 bucks."
>"FIVE BUCKS? It's hand made! It's a craftsmen's hat (google Wandergesellen, it's part of a German tradition), they're expensive!"
>"Fine, I'll give you 7.50€, because I've put 2€ in there and some peach rings."
>"No, fuck you, seriously!"
>He seems really offended by that
>grabs everything that's in the hat and throws it at my face before walking off
>People gave him money before
>He threw a good 10€ at me
>mfw I offended a drugged up craftsman
>mfw he begged me for money and ended up giving almost 10€
>>693493676
fag
>>693514014
I have also dropped plenty and could imagine flying a luckdragon to the library. But everyone knows even at peak you still have a bit of 'you' in there. Plus this idiot said fucking weed! As in his weed trip was so powerful it cause this bullshit story to happen.
Only on PCP could I see someone doing this shit.
Oh and then the clerk laughed it off. Just like in the movies!!! Ha ha so cool
>>693509365
wut
Gas station guy here, who's the anon with the screencaps?
Post 'em, so i can save them
also the thread isn't dead yet thank god
>>693514532
you totally rumbled that phony story bro!
feel good now?
fucking total loser. stfu and enjoy the tales or leave quietly seriously, nobody gives a fuck about your 'debunking'.
you are literally like the little kid at the back of the crowd jumping up and down trying to see over then folding you arms and sulking because you aren't accepted.
that is exactly how me and everyone else in this thread is seeing you right now.
Nobody gives a fuck about you on his board.
Kill yourself
>>693513324
Have you never been feeling minutes behind from smoking way over your regular? Why not?
>>693484575
Absolute kek, and good story telling op
>>693492240
I've seen cringey comics all over the Internet, but this...
You don't think you should "earn" your way through life? You're gonna make other people work extra hard pulling your weight to let your free-loading ass run wild doing whatever the hell it wants?? The American government should be sending out job listings instead of welfare checks, in my opinion. People like you are what's wrong with society.
Can someone post a collection of Ops cinema stories and the gas station guy, golden stuff, would do but on phone
>>693510003
>are you straight?
>>693494374
why did you get involved
>>693516300
>This
>>693484009
bump
So I work in the Construction industry I used to do concrete high rises for both residential and commercial purposes. This is my crackhead story
> Be 19 having just under a year of construction under my belt
> Meet "Tim", he is a real nice guy in his early thirties, Jman carpenter a little weird but overall nice
> Me and Tim hit it off I become his apprentice as we work on a couple of towers
> Tim is always broke and always asking me for cash, so I'm like OK but if you need 60$ I get $65 on payday
> I live with parents at time so this is none issue, this goes on for about 6 month's
> I'm making bank off Tim
> Christmas time is around the corner and the crew I work with decides to go for drinks
> We meet up at this bar not to far from site right after work. It's cold outside but warm inside the bar, I sit next to Tim and we drink until 2AM with some of my other close nit colleagues
> Head to an after party, I brought some weed and some Bennies so I'm fucking ROLLIN
> Tim's doing his own thing at this point he's fucked out of his tree and he sees me just keeping my head above water cause i'm stoned out of my dome
> Tim comes and gets me and says he want's to go for a Dart. I'm like k lets do this.
> Head outside to the backyard to this shed
> We both light up and shoot the shit for a bit
> Tim finally says to me "You want to try some crack"
>Waitwut.exe
> I'm all like your joking right you don't smoke crack
> He's like why did you think I was borrowing money off you all the time? Are you really that naive?
> Guess so. Well time busts out a crack pipe and starts going to town and I'm bewildered.
> I go back inside to the party, grab my shit and head home
I got of concrete work after that, it's kinda shitty to think I helped support someone's crack addiction for 6 months I always new he was off, but I never thought it was crack.
>>693517717
BTW I'm older now and wiser
>>693489761
CHEERS BIG BOY
i want to work at a cinema now
>>693516300
Someone please
>>693503257
14 year old detected
> Working at Frys Electronics at the Returns counter
> 5 minutes til we close the front door disheveled lady walks in
> comes to my table, says she needs to return something
> Proceeds to tell a story about how her bf kicked her out on the street and needs the money from the returned item to pau for a hotel room
> she rummages through her purse and pulls the item out, its a dremel bit in a torn package
> flip the item over and see that it is something we sold... for 3.99
> She doesnt have a receipt, and have to inform her even if we took the item back shes not getting a hotel room for 4$
Felt pretty bad.
>>693517789
coolio
thread of the year
best thread in probably over 2 years honestly, reliving the glory days of retard threads though this.
>>693519473
I'd kill for a good tard thread.
>>693519473
Fuck man tard threads were great, what happened to them?
>live in Alaska
>crackhead's and drunks practically litter the streets
>one day go to store with a buddy of mine
>crackhead mumbling to himself on a bench
>he sees and makes a beeline to us
>he's speaking incoherently
>extends his hand, probably asking for money or something
>this doesn't register in my autist mind
>shake his hand and enter the store
>mfw
>>693519934
cancer
>work at coffee shop
>have a small tip jar on the counter
>two crack heads come in towards closing
>im in the back cleaning up
>co worker takes order and go to make the one drink they ordered
>was soon as he steps behind the coffee bar the two crack heads bolt out of the cafe with the tip jar
>call cops, get quick response as we always give them free stuff as they would hang out and tell us funny stories
>cops find the two guys down the street waiting at the bus stop less than a block away fromt the cafe
>cops make them empty their pockets and gives all the cash on them
>get back over fifty dollars
>had less than 10 dollars in the tip jar as we empty it on a regular basis
>crack heads got robbed and went to jail
>>693507260
Share please?
>>693519985
Muc-tuc
Nigger who the fuck has screencaps? I can't cap the thread im on my phone, can someone post caps?
>>693520153
>>693486136
u kind of sound like they kind of cunt who gets anoyed at very simple stuff
>>693520538
>>693520591
lmao
2/10 for effort you nigger
>>693492240
Agreed with this post
Cringe at people thinking you need a wage to contribute to society
>>693520538
>>693520591
>>693520633
why are you posting these here
>>693520688
I'm actually curious, what is wrong with my attempt?
>>693520724
because several people apparently can't figure out how to make them for themselves and requested it.
>>693489962
isnt that handling a transaction though? the customer didnt complete his side of transaction is all (paying) so he told his manager
>>693520943
you cut a post straight in half ya dingus
>>693520538
Got the gas station guy? his were pretty funny
>>693491453
Because calling him out on his wrong doings is not going to help with his addiction and will only help the multi million dollar cinema company be more cautious where they leave their over priced snacks
>>693488760
>>693521113
I realized that, but I'm entirely too lazy to cobble my caps together, and all the text is still there. Thank you for the response, I thought I might have made a much bigger mistake.
>>693520613
(Me)?
>>693521157
The captchas are getting pretty bad so no, sorry, cinema guys last 2 and I'm done.
Anyone capped the gas station stories before he left?
>>693489761
next time fatty tells you she's sorry lean over and say "cheers big boy"
>>693491795
I was laughing so hard. My sister and her sorority sisters in the kitchen were laughing at my laugh
Russian fuck head check out -- >
http://nivata.motikarq.com/media/nqkfo-rupsi
>>693491337
>more then
Idiot.
>>693522319
post pics of their assholes
>>693509718
in the US theatres they don't have small. it's all medium, large and X large to shit people into thinking they get something for nothing. it's really the same small, medium and large cups they always had. prices are ridiculous too, fucking thieves. maybe she was used to going someplace like that
>>693486136
Dude, her boyfriend or husband probably beats her and the apologies are just a reflex so she doesn't get the shit kicked out of her.
>be me, working in sporting goods retail store
>literally next to 2 homeless shelters
>lots of drug use in our bathrooms
>lots of prostitution as well, mostly drugs for sex.
>one day king of the crackheads comes in and buys an elastic stretching band
>walks to the bathroom after purchasing
>uses the elastic band to tie off and bangs some smack into his forehead veins.
> a customer comes up to me and tells me about body lying in the bathroom.
> ohshitnotagain.jpeg
>I go in and see this dude facedown in the corner of the stall, needles around, blood sprayed on the wall, the whole nine yards.
>call cops
> cops show up with medics and have to give the fucker narcan to bring him back to life
>dude was dead for a bit.
> when you wake up w/ narcan you are fucked up and immediately put into withdrawal which is shitty.
>heroin boy is shaking and convulsing and screaming.
> anyways they take him out and I figured that was the last of that.
>NOPE
>comes in two days later, no one calls him out so we can call cops, whatever I'm busy.
>don't get paid enough to care
>heads straight to bathroom and isn't heard from or seen in 30-45 minutes.
>customer complains
>okround2.gif
>DEAD.
> eyes open, dead.
>call cops/ medics
>can't revive, d.o.s
>cart body out, and that's all she wrote.
Crack is whack. Got fucking loads of stories.
>>693516830
He said why. Read.
>>693523447
Honestly, this or something similar is exactly what I expected. Either spousal abuse, parental abuse, or bullying. There's no question.
This thread has lasted 5 hours lmao
bravo
>>693513965
>>693521690
A cinema near where I live actually only sells medium and large.
>>693504285
UK?
>>693524052
Pretty good bread we've got here lad
>>693523587
Post more plz
>>693513469
>>693513781
>>693514532
youre wrong
>>693523587
kek
Sounds like suicide to me, to be honest.
>>693524763
aka an hero
>>693524565
Yeah
>be meAbout 6 years ago in highschool.
>dutchfag so i know a thing or two About drugs.>also good friends with stoners
>Time for a fieldtrip for art class. > go to Amsterdam for entire day to check out museums. >teachers give's us 2 hour break to explore the city.
>first time in Amsterdam, Lets get some dope.
> we take it in , shit aint even working yet and we are getting hungry.
>stroll into KFC for chicken. Inb4 niggerfaggot.
>see other classmates . >Anon, you coming with us to the other museum? Niggauwhat?.gif
>fuck are you talkin About?>we have a hour left. >nah mate iTS one a hour break.
>we're going into the museum tripping balls already. >find a bench and decide to stay and wait till the trip is over. >teacher comes in and asks what we are doing. >still Completely out of my mind, i answer " i'm in the painting"' >yes Anon, good to see you're getting to experience the art. >tell me what do you feel?. >idunno sir, i just really really like this image.
>it's yours my friend, he answers, "i've got plenty more.
Can we get this thread archived?
>>693516300
got em
>>693526302
Post 'em
bump godthread
>>693488083
fucking loser
>>693491795
> I smiled, i am cool with black ppl
> think to myself, cant wait to get off work
> nigger leans into my ear
> cheers big boy
> I apologize
> realize i am a trans, multiple personality fat chick, who is also gay
> realize my son is a furry
> masterbate to gold tooth smile as soon as shift ends
>>693525547
well done
Got one for ya.
>Work at game store in small Texas town
>Store I work at buys and sells games and game accessories
>regularly get shifty people trying to sell us things
>but one day HE arrives...
>extremely worn trench coat
>stains on his shirt you can smell with your eyes
>25 years old, but looks like he lived through both World Wars
>eyes so sunken that they're almost touching the back of his skull
>he proceeds to plop a torn walmart, bag full of misc wires and a couple 360 games
>the wires are mostly all stripped, and the ones that aren't don't look like they go to anything from the last 60 years
>then I get to the 360 games
>the cases are covered in what smells like cat piss and a pizza hot pocket
>I open the first case
>literally hundreds of cock roaches explode from the case
>me and the costumers behind him fly backwards in shock and disgust
>he stares at me, seemingly oblivious to what is happening
>"iiiiiiiiiiiuuuuhhh was hoping to Atleast getuhhhh $80 for all of it"
>mfw
>>693487813
Oh mayyne that ending. You have the gift of the gab anon.
>>693527070
Summerfags learn quickly these days
